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The night air blows cold on the way home from volleyball practice, colder than either boys had expected. The streets are bare from the usual hustle and bustle of workers returning home, although that may be from the extra hour of practice rather than the weather.
Daichi is hyperaware of how close Suga is to him, their arms brushing with every stride that they take and the action alone is enough to make Daichi’s head spin. They keep in close contact all the time as captain and co-captain of the Karasuno volleyball team, and as friends. ‘Friends’. The word feels like bile in Daichi’s mouth.
The sound of their feet crunching on the gravel below is deafening in Suga’s ears. It’s not often that they walk in silence, random talk of game strategies or math homework normally fill the void on their way home. They don’t live far apart, only by a few blocks and the thought isn’t lost on Suga that at literally any time, he could realistically just walk straight to Daichi’s house, and the thought stirs a flutter in Suga’s stomach. So close and yet so far.
As they round the corner, they come across 3 kids playing with a volleyball in the street. Wordlessly, they both stop. Observing. They look around 11, bundled up in winter gear as they play in the deserted street, voices echoing and bouncing off shop walls and no-one tells them off. Who could have the heart? Not when they look just like them.
“Do you remember when we used to do this? Before it became a competition?” Daichi is the first to break the silence, and Suga nods at his words. He remembers more than anything.
“We’d play at the park by Asahi’s house. He’d peg the ball too hard and it would fly across and always hit something.” Suga mentions, and Daichi laughs softly at the memory, the air coming out in puffs of smoke by his mouth.
“Remember that time he hit that old lady’s dog?”
“Oh my god- yes! He was so mortified.” Suga laughs and Daichi can’t help but glance over at the white-haired male. He has a smile on his face, lips tilted up more towards the right side than the left and its like his mole is winking, something Daichi can’t help but find absolutely endearing. Daichi wants him closer, to hold his hand and to kiss his stupid, pretty face but he can’t. Childhood friends, he can’t ruin this.
Instead, he continues to talk. “And we still did it. Every weekend.”
“I can’t remember what it was like before you. Before us.” Suga didn’t mean for the words to come out the way they did, in a rush with the wind, as though it will take his words away but Daichi can hear the insecurity in his words. Will there still be an us? University is well on its way, a dark cloud over the 3 of them. Different universities, different cities, different friends?
Daichi can’t remember a time without Suga. They met when the pair were young and have remained inseparable, Asahi too. It’s been the 3 of them against the world, or against the pirates as they imagined at the young and impressionable age. It’s been them, through middle school and high school, volleyball wins and losses – its always been them. How will they go being so far apart? Daichi can’t remember a time without Suga, and its beginning to grow hard to remember a time without his lingering feelings. Taunting him and making every encounter seem sensual. Grazing of arms, sliver of eye contact and the way he talks making Suga smile. It’s hard enough to say goodbye to a friend. Now I have to figure out how to say goodbye to someone I love. “It’s hard to imagine,” he begins, seeing Suga’s hazel eyes dart in his direction. Daichi’s heart begins to stumble, oh god how his body falters when Suga looks his way. He can feel it in the tremble of his fingers, the weakness of his knees and the stirring in his stomach. He can feel it in the swelling of his tongue, getting strung up over words and how his brain can’t form a proper sentence without thinking it through first. There’s only so much time left before the semester runs dry, the time on Daichi’s clock begging him to move know. If there is ever a time to tell him, it’s when you’re about to move away. If he rejects, you’ll never see him again and you can live with that…maybe. “It’s hard to imagine a time before you. Before Asahi. Before any of this,” He gestures towards the unsuspecting children, still pegging the ball to the ground. “Being with you, playing volleyball and causing ruckus in the streets, it’s the best thing that I’ve ever been able to experience. In a very long time.” Daichi can’t help but laugh at the bitterness in his own tone, god he sounds so lame.
Suga’s mouth opens, slightly agape with the shock in his system. Despite the cold freezing the tips of his fingers, there is a blush on his cheeks, Daichi’s words affecting him more than he would like to believe. Before you, I was nothing. With you, I am everything. Suga wants to scream it to the tallest of rooftops, to be heard throughout the town, but he stays rooted in place, the cogs in his brain immobilised and his body can’t respond. Suga has lived his whole life in awe of this man, willingly hiding in his shadows so the world can see the greatness he has to offer and he has no doubt that the man looming over him will do great things in the world, remarkable things. The only thing he is more sure about than the greatness of Daichi Sawamura, is the love he holds for him.
“We can still cause ruckus in the streets you know,” Suga is breathless and captivating. He is the angel in a sea of mortals and he is the best damn thing to happen to Daichi.
“How would you suppose we do that? Steal those kids volleyball and show them how it’s done?” When Daichi smirks with a tease in the air like that, Suga can’t stop himself from imagine a whole lot of inappropriate things, a lot revolving a shirtless Daichi and that’s his favourite. He can’t help the snicker of laughter that escapes his lips, and Daichi can’t help but look at those lips. Both their hearts, full and beating so erratically it could be a cardiac arrest.
“Friends forever, right?” Suga asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet with nerves like fireworks tingling in his bloodstream. Daichi looks confused as he tenses up. Someone’s finally said the words, and it hits him like a freight train of dread.
“I want that. Friends forever.” Friends, of course that’s what he wants.
Before he can kick the nerves, Suga leans on his toes, grabbing the collar of the captain’s volleyball jersey and he pulls him down, kissing him before he can think to stop. And Daichi melts, one hand sliding around the setter’s slim waist and the other up his back to press in-between Suga’s shoulder blades. Closer, he wants them closer. They’re both morbidly aware of the 3 kids staring at them but neither of them cares enough to stop. This. This is everything.
Suga is the first to pull away, legs shaking with anxiety, desire and also because he can’t stand on his toes anymore, but he has a wide smile on his face, showing his full upper row of teeth. Daichi is in a similar boat, the tip of nose and ears a vibrant red, teeth digging into his lower lip and he keeps his arms encased around the setter. Never letting go, never again.
“Friends forever, right?” Suga asks again, this time his voice dripping with something sultry that Daichi wants to dig into right this second- who cares for the kids on the street.
“I don’t think friends do this.” At this, Suga laughs, leaning back up for another.
“I don’t think so either.”