Chapter 1: The Kim-Wongs
Notes:
Thank you M, O, and Bayli for help reading, editing, and plotting this fic. It came from a late night binge of both Princess Diaries movies and I have no regrets.
The first four chapters of this will be introductions into each of the main families/characters, starting with the Kim-Wongs
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Kim-Wongs
The ballroom in Fiore is buzzing with activity. Nobility and royalty mingle between tall tables in their tuxedos and gowns. Hor’dourves and champagne flutes flit by on the hands of caterers. A string quartet sits on the landing above the occupants of the ballroom. The gentle music fills the rooms, pushing out the glass doors and spilling into the moonlit garden. The chatter of the party-goers rises and falls over the string instruments, creating a music all its own. Amidst it all stands a beautiful woman in a gown the color of the moon and hair like the setting sun.
Her smile rivals the stars with dimples appearing on her cheeks. A tall man strides across the ballroom, a flute of champagne in one hand and a charming twinkle in his eyes. In a swift motion, the man swallows the contents of his glass and places it on a passing tray. He bows slightly to the staff, his light hair falling in front of his eyes. The woman watches as he approaches her, his hand reaches out to her.
“May I have this dance, Your Majesty?” The man bows, hand still outstretched.
“You may, Your Majesty,” the woman laughs and takes his hand. The music swells as they spin around the ballroom gracefully, all eyes on them. “I thought you might spill your drink on me again.”
He laughs, “you will never let that go, will you, Vivi?”
“Never,” she smiles brightly. “It’s why I chose you to be my king.”
“And people say romance is dead.” The couple continue their dance across the ballroom. Other couples join in, the synchronized movement transfixing the occupants of the ballroom. Vivi can’t help the laugh that escapes her. She is lucky to have married a man that is as charming as Kai. She wishes she could have married for love, but that is a luxury she does not have.
“They clearly have not met you, Kai.” Over Queen Vivi’s shoulder, King Kai catches the eye of a familiar face.
“I think there is another that rivals my romancing,” he says lightly, keeping eye contact with the woman across the room. He tilts his head toward Vivi, beckoning the short haired woman. She shakes her head. Kai sighs and begins to glide their way to her without Vivi’s knowledge. With a well-timed spin, Kai deposits Vivi into the arms of the woman.
“King Kai,” the woman’s protest is in vain as Queen Vivi looks at the woman expectantly.
“Well, Haseul, are you going to leave your queen waiting?” Vivi smirks when Haseul ducks her head. Both women blush deeply at the close contact.
“No, Your Majesty.” Haseul gathers Vivi into her arms and joins the synchronized movements of the nobles in the center of the ballroom. The pair are aware of the soft skin under their palms and the rapid thrum of their heartbeats. Vivi can remain calm in the face of diplomats and thousands of people watching her every move. Yet when she is in close proximity to Haseul she is the furthest thing from calm.
“People are looking,” Haseul’s eyes dart around the room. Vivi reaches up and pulls Haseul’s attention back to her. When their eyes meet, it’s like a jolt of electricity through their bodies.
“Let them look.” Around them everything fades except for the sound of the string quartet. Until Kai comes dancing with King Seokjin, the two are locked in a tight embrace with matching cheeky grins. The two kings laugh as they push through nobles leaving a sighing Queen Sunmi in their wake. Kai winks at Vivi as he spins past her. “Everyone will look at them now.”
Haseul laughs with a shake of her head and continues leading Vivi in their dance. Feet light, hearts lighter.
“She’s beautiful,” King Kai whispers as he stares down at the little bundle in his arms. Queen Vivi steps up beside him and smiles upon the baby in his arms. She runs a loving hand over the dark tufts of hair on the baby’s head. The King and Queen had tried to conceive their own child, but they were unable to fulfill their duty to provide an heir to the throne. There was much talk around the topic in their capital, Strelitzia, and even across Fiore as a whole. People worried for the future of the crown.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t have our own,” Vivi says. Kai lifts his head and peers at his wife. “I know the parliament is not pleased with us having to adopt.”
“Screw the parliament.” Kai lifts the baby and places her into Vivi’s arms.
“They’re going to treat her differently because she isn’t of our blood.” The queen smiles sadly at her baby. She worries for the baby’s well-being, for the baby’s acceptance by their people. The last thing she ever wants is for her child to feel unwelcome at home. But, where Vivi is worrisome, Kai is reassuring.
“We are not going to give them any reason to. She will be as brave, as intelligent, as capable as any other royal.” The baby reaches out at the sound of Kai’s voice, her hand latching onto his finger. Kai’s smile widens, his heart filling with so much love for his daughter. “She’s going to be so much more capable than any other royal. Isn’t that right, Hyunjin? You’re going to knock them off their feet.”
Hyunjin snuggles into Vivi’s chest, hand tightening her hold on Kai’s finger. The parents gaze down at the beautiful new addition to their family. A knock at the door breaks their trance.
“Am I interrupting?” Haseul says stepping into the room.
“I was about to send for you,” Kai answers, lifting Hyunjin from Vivi’s arms. “It wouldn’t be right if you weren’t introduced to Hyunjin before anyone else.” Haseul holds the small baby in her arms and regards Hyunjin with as much love as the King and Queen. Kai nudges Vivi toward their friend. “I’m going to, uh, go send for some….toys. Yeah, toys.”
Kai leaves the two women alone with Hyunjin and the moment the door shuts, Vivi crosses the room to sit beside Haseul. Haseul gently rocks the baby in her arms cooing under her breath. Vivi leans against Haseul’s side and gazes down at Hyunjin who now has her hand wrapped around Haseul’s finger. Vivi can’t help the smile that forms.
“She already loves you,” Vivi sighs. “This is how I imagined starting a family.” The moment the words leave the queen’s mouth, both women burrow deeper into each other. An ache blooms in their chests, a quiet heartbreak echoes in the otherwise silent room.
When Hyunjin learns to walk, the palace is in shambles. The one-year old is inquisitive and adventurous. Every surface is hers to explore and tumble from. King Kai and Queen Vivi spend most days chasing after their daughter down one corridor or another. Hyunjin’s little legs are no match for her parents, but the giggle that she lets out when they capture her is music to their ears.
The King and Queen have split duties to ensure that someone is always with the mischievous child, but there are many days where both of the royals are needed. Little Hyunjin is often left in the hands of the King and Queen’s best friend, Haseul. Haseul who has become the Queen’s royal adviser, but would much rather spend those hours with Hyunjin instead of in a stuffy counsel room.
Haseul takes Hyunjin out to the gardens of the palace. The sun peeks out behind the clouds casting shadows across the ground that Hyunjin is intent on catching. Haseul giggles at the little girl. Grass stained and smiling, Hyunjin waddles up to Haseul.
“Hi, cutie,” Haseul scoops the little girl into her arms. Hyunjin juts her hand out to Haseul. “What do you have in your hand?”
Hyunjin smiles, her whole face brightening. She opens her palm, revealing a small yellow flower. The stem is broken and it’s missing a few petals, but Haseul takes it between her fingers.
“A flower, thank you, Hyun.” Hyunjin nods and squirms in the older woman’s arms. “Okay, okay, putting you down.” When Hyunjin’s feet hit the ground she’s off again tumbling in the grass and staring at the flowers in wonder. Haseul tucks the little flower between the pages of her planner before jogging after the adventurous toddler.
Haseul revels in the hours she gets to spend with Hyunjin. In those moments where there’s no lady’s maids, security, or press following after them. At this age, Hyunjin doesn’t have any idea about her duties. She eats dirt and passes gas during noble dinners. The young princess is unaware of all that is waiting for her, and Haseul wants to do all she can to preserve her innocence. If only for a little while longer.
She doesn’t call her “Princess” in these moments, doesn’t scold her for getting dirty or acting uncouth. She lets the toddler run wild in the gardens, smelling the flowers and trying to climb the trees.
Hyunjin is waddling around the fountain in the center of the garden. The edge of the fountain far too high for her to reach. Haseul takes her eyes off the toddler for a moment and checks her phone. Reminders of meetings and phone calls she needs to make fill the screen. But it’s one text message that catches her attention.
Vivi: how are my babies doing? I wish I could be with you.
Haseul’s smile grows, red tinting her cheeks as she glances around the garden as if she’s expecting to be caught. She has loved the Queen long before she assumed the throne, long before she married Kai. Haseul grew up around the palace as the daughter of the head chef. She spent countless hours with Vivi playing games, learning the ways of the aristocrats that she so often has to interact with. The two were inseparable, even as Haseul took on the role of intern to the Royal adviser. She fell in love with Vivi and Vivi fell in love with her.
But that was a different time, and with no title to her name and no money to her family, Haseul was not eligible to marry Vivi. Instead, she watched the woman she loved marry her best friend. While the sting of not being able to show her love for Vivi was, and still is, very real, she’s content by simply being in her life; in Hyunjin’s life.
As she’s about to respond to Vivi’s text, she notices Hyunjin isn’t in the same spot she last saw her. Unfortunately, she notices a moment too late that Hyunjin is on the edge of the fountain; doesn’t even have a chance to wonder how the mischievous toddler got up there. She abandons her phone and planner on the ground and rushes to her. Hyunjin spots Haseul running toward her and the little girl spreads her arms open.
“Mama!” Hyunjin’s toothy grin and words catch Haseul off guard. She falters on her feet and then there’s a splash.
“Hyunjin!” Haseul gathers the now soaking wet little girl in her arms. She’s still grinning.
“Mama. ” The toddler wraps her arms around a shaking Haseul’s neck and giggles. The older woman’s heart is hammering in her chest for more reasons than almost killing the royal heiress.
Later, Haseul is playing with Hyunjin in the toddler’s room. After drying the young princess off, Hyunjin dragged the older woman to her dolls. Haseul let Hyunjin take the lead, the toddler hands her clothes and dolls, occasionally repeating sounds that Haseul is making. The older woman is lost in thought wondering how she is going to tell her best friends that their daughter spoke her first word. That their daughter called her “mama.”
Hyunjin’s face appears in front of Haseul’s vision. Tiny hands waving in frantically. “Mama, mama, mama!”
“Hyunjin, I’m not your mama,” Haseul sighs and cuddles the toddler in her lap. “Your mama is that beautiful woman with red hair.” Hyunjin nods. “Yes, Vivi is your mama.” Haseul blows raspberries on Hyunjin’s cheeks.
“Mama. No.” Hyunjin giggles and pushes Haseul’s face away.
“I’m not—”
“Did Hyunnie just call you mama?” Kai steps into his daughter’s room, Vivi on his heels. The King tickles his daughter on the tummy when he reaches her. “I see we missed her first word.”
“I’m so sorry, Your Majesty, I—” Haseul glances between the two monarchs in front of her, Hyunjin still in her lap. “I tried to explain I’m not her mom, but—”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kai waves his hand. “You’re like a mom to her, Seulie. Right, Vi?” The pair turn to the queen, who’s gaze has been on Haseul this whole time, eyes glistening with tears unshed. “We’re taking that as a yes.”
Vivi blinks rapidly and clears her throat. “You’re as much a mother to Hyunjin as I am.” Haseul and her share a heated look before a gleeful squeal fills the room. Kai is spinning Hyunjin around slowly, tickling her tummy whenever he stops. Vivi takes the opportunity to place a feather light kiss on Haseul’s cheek. Kai smiles having seen the interaction out of the corner of his eye. He passes a giggling Hyunjin off to her mom before walking over to his friend.
“You two don’t need to hold back when I’m here, or even when I’m not here, you know that, right?” He asks and takes a seat beside Haseul. Many people are blind to the love Vivi and Haseul have for each other, but Kai isn’t. Much like Vivi, he wishes more than anything that they could have married for love. Instead, they settle for a love shared between friends; a love for a daughter that will grow to be Queen.
“Vivi is loyal, as long as you two are married, she would never do anything unfaithful.” Kai wraps his arm around Haseul. Her breath is uneven, seizing in her chest. She tries to breathe through it, to push the long standing, deep seated pain away. It never truly goes away.
“I’m sorry,” he presses a kiss to her head.
“I’d rather her be married to you than someone else, I’m sure she feels the same way,” Haseul sighs, leaning into Kai. Kai and Haseul watch Vivi and Hyunjin play across the room, matching smiles on their faces.
Vivi feels their gazes on her and when she looks up she’s met with looks full of love. The love of a best friend and the love of the woman she wishes she could have built this family with. But she knows she will never get that. She has been taught that the call of duty always comes above the call of the heart. And as Vivi beckons the pair over to play with her and Hyunjin, she is content in knowing she still has Haseul by her side.
Kai’s face appears on the computer screen in front of Vivi and Hyunjin. The moment their daughter catches sight of her father she squeals. Kai’s smile brightens.
“Daddy!” Hyunjin says bouncing in her seat. “Daddy, I miss you.”
“Hi, Hyunnie!” Kai settles into the chair in the hotel room he’s in. He has a teddy bear hat that Hyunjin gave him sitting on his head. “I miss you beary much, princess. Have Mom and Mama Seul been taking good care of you?”
Not long after Hyunjin started talking, she took to calling Haseul mama, too. Kai started calling his best friend Mama Seul, and it didn’t take long for Hyunjin to follow suit. Despite her protests, Haseul couldn’t stop the little girl from calling her that. She’s grown to love it and feeling that connection to Vivi makes it all the better. It’s not conventional in the slightest, but Haseul will take it.
“Yeah! Mom and Mama Seul make me cookies and we watch movies all night!” Hyunjin grinned at her dad through the screen. “And I got lots and lots of snuggles!”
“What? I’m so jealous,” Kai feigns hurt, his eyes flicker to Vivi’s. “Cookies, movies, and cuddles? You better save some of that for me when I get home.”
“Okay, daddy. When are you coming home?” Hyunjin’s demeanor deflates. Kai’s been going on business trips a lot lately, dealing with international relations with other countries. He offered to go in place of Vivi, though it didn’t take much convincing when he pointed out Haseul would still be there.
“I’ll be back in time for your fifth birthday party, cutie. My little girl is growing up so fast.”
“I’m not little! I’ve grown a whole inch, right, mommy?” Hyunjin looks up to her mom with a proud smile.
“An inch and a quarter, baby.” Vivi kisses her daughter's head.
“See! Not little,” Hyunjin puffs her chest out, then grins again. “Okay, bye daddy! I’m gonna go play with Mama Seul.” Before either parent can say anything, the little girl scurries away with her lady’s maid on her tail. Vivi slumps the moment her daughter is off screen. Kai notices the exhaustion on her face for the first time since the call started.
“Hey, how are you?”
Vivi leaves her head resting on her arms, turning to face the camera slightly. “I’m exhausted. Parliament won’t listen to a single thing I have to say about the marriage law, Hyunjin has more energy than our entire military combined, and I—” Vivi’s voice breaks.
“Fuck this meeting, I’m coming home.” Kai pushes his chair back forcefully, the sound of the chair hitting the ground comes through the video feed. He begins to pack up his room, throwing clothes and wires into his suitcase with carelessness.
“Kai, stop, we need this—”
“No, we don’t,” he turns back to the camera with a stuffed animal cat in his hand.
“Why do you have Hyunjin’s stuffed animal?”
“Oh, she told me to take it with me,” Kai shrugs, the corners of his lips turning upward. “She didn’t want me to be alone.” The parents share a look, one they often share when their daughter does something like this. They know she’s going to be a great leader. A leader that is going to be kind, empathetic, thoughtful.
“You can’t cancel the meeting, Kai.” Vivi says after a moment.
“I’ll make them come to me, then.” He continues to pack his suitcase without a glance at the camera. “You know King Seokjin, Queen Sunmi, and King Jung won’t mind. They can bring their kids. We can have a little royal picnic.”
“Please, just sleep on it. We don’t need to make ourselves out to be weak,” Vivi whispers the last part drawing the attention of Kai.
He approaches the camera. “Look at me, Vivi.” She lifts her gaze to his. “You are the strongest woman I have ever met. You do not need me to run Fiore with you, but you have me. Asking for help does not make you weak, it is a sign of strength to know when you need assistance. Don’t let pride be your downfall.”
His words wash over Vivi, her back straightens and she looks at him more clearly. “Please sleep on it, Kai,” she hovers the mouse over the end call, “but I do need help back home. I trust you to make the right decision.”
“I love you, Vi.”
“I love you, too.” Vivi ends the call and goes in search of her daughter. The sound of laughter and a loud crash is indication enough for Vivi.
The next day, Vivi wakes up late and rushes to Hyunjin’s room. She promised her daughter she would have a tea party with her. But the queen had stayed up late going over documents and laws trying to find a way to abolish Fiore's marriage law. She fell asleep on a pile of papers and woke up with a document stuck to her cheek. It wasn’t her best moment.
As she reaches her daughters room, high pitched giggles and a deeper laugh float out of the room. Vivi pushes the door open to find Kai kneeling next to Hyunjin. He has sparkly clips in his hair and a fluffy tiara sitting on top of his head. Hyunjin rubs glittery makeup on his face with her hands as she giggles to herself.
“You look so pretty, daddy.” Hyunjin steps back and looks at her work. She nods with a satisfied smile.
“The prettiest king in all the land,” Vivi pipes up from the doorway smirking. “Bright blue is your color, Kai.”
“I always thought I was more of a pink guy, but Hyunjin really has an eye for colors,” Kai kisses his daughters cheek. He walks over to Vivi and places an identical kiss on her cheek.
“I didn’t expect you home so soon.”
“I slept on it for about thirty minutes and hopped on the jet an hour later,” Kai smiles. “You deserve to relax, Vivi. I’ve got Hyunjin, go relax.”
“Okay…” Vivi hesitates in the doorway.
“Haseul is down by the pond, I have a feeling she might be waiting for you.” Kai winks and pushes her out of the room. She stands outside the room stunned. Slowly, a smile grows on her face, a weight lifting from her shoulder. She walks toward the pond.
Vivi finds Haseul leaning against a large tree near the water’s edge. She has a book propped open on her lap and a small basket of fruit beside her. Her breath catches in her throat as the sun shines down on Haseul. In all the years they have known each other, Haseul’s beauty continues to leave Vivi in awe. It’s effortless. Or maybe she is simply that in love with her.
“Are you going to keep staring at me or are you going to join me?” Haseul asks, her eyes never leaving the pages.
“Can’t I do both?” Vivi jokes as she walks over to Haseul.
“You’re the Queen, I suppose you can do whatever you please,” Haseul closes her book.
“I wish I could kiss you,” Vivi whispers, eyes searching the brunette’s.
“You could,” Haseul says, almost as a dare. She’s not naive though, she knows exactly what Viv’s response is going to be. “But you won’t, and that’s okay.”
“It’s not okay, I—I hate that this is how we have to be,” Vivi sighs. She drops her head against Haseul’s shoulder, their hands intertwining on her lap. Haseul heaves a sigh, her chest tightening with each passing moment. She wishes beyond anything that she could love another or that she could be with the one she does love. Vivi wishes for the same. Yet despite the pain they endure, they can’t seem to let each other go no matter how hard they have tried.
“Maybe one day,” Haseul tightens her hold on Vivi’s hand.
Haseul is in her office a few months later. It’s late and she’s finalizing the Queen’s schedule for the upcoming week. Meeting with dignitaries, ribbon cutting ceremony for the new tailor shop in Fiore’s capital city, Strelitzia. Not to mention all the documents and bills that the Queen needs to sign. There’s so much Haseul has to pack into a week without overlapping. She also has to be mindful of Hyunjin, which events she can attend, which one’s they need a nanny for. But, most importantly, Haseul is always sure to block out time where the Queen has uninterrupted time with her daughter.
That has been something Vivi, Kai, and Haseul always agree on; family time is important. While royal life is never dull, and there is always something they have to do, they make sure to have time set aside to give their daughter their undivided attention. No lessons, no lectures, only being a family.
Haseul is in the middle of organizing the schedule draft when there’s a knock at her door. “Come in,” she keeps her eyes on her work.
“Hi, Seul.”
“King Kai, what are you—” Haseul sits up straighter. The two have been best friends for nearly their whole lives, long before he was engaged to Vivi. Long before either had ever met Vivi. Despite all of that, she still maintains a level of professionalism with both the King and Queen. At least, until they tell her to stop. Which is always.
“I’m coming to you right now as a friend,” he crosses the room and drops into the chair in front of her desk. Kai is exhausted, it’s evident in the way his body sags in the chair, the way his head falls to the side. Haseul notices this. She notices the blood-shot and yellowing of his eyes, the light sheen of sweat on his skin.
“You’re sick.” The words fall heavy between them.
“I am…” Kai tries to smile, but fails. “That’s where I’ve been. Between business trips, I’ve been to several doctors and specialists...they all say the same thing.”
“What—what is it?” Haseul walks over to the chair beside him and sits.
“Pancreatic cancer, stage four.” The King rubs his face. “I don’t even know how this happened, neither do the doctors. It’s one of those that has risk factors, but...unless someone in my family had it before, I don’t have any of those factors.”
“Have you told—”
“I will in the morning, but there’s something I need you to do for me.” Kai reaches down beside him and pulls up the recurve bow and an envelope. Haseul recognizes the bow immediately, it’s the same one he’s always used in competition and at his coronation. The one that he used to teach Vivi and Haseul archery. The one she knows he would have gifted to Hyunjin one day. He hands them to Haseul. “I’m dying, Haseul. There is no way around that.”
Haseul reaches for his hand and holds it tightly in hers. Hot tears spill out of her eyes, chest tightening with each word her best friend utters. His eyes meet hers, tears falling down his face.
“I’m dying and I’m going to miss the rest of Hyunjin’s life. I won’t be there when she graduates high school or college. I won’t see her fall in love or be crowned the queen. I won’t be able to walk her down the aisle, or meet my grandchildren,” Kai’s voice breaks. “I need you to give her those gifts from me when she is old enough to assume the throne. She’s too young now to remember any advice I give her. Please, I need you to do this for me.”
Haseul covers his hand with both of hers, “I will.”
He regards his friend with a serious expression, “Promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“I know you love her,” his gaze stays on her unwavering. Haseul feels fresh tears tumbling from her eyes. “I know you love them both. Please, promise me you will take care of them.”
“Kai, you don’t even need to ask me to do that.”
He laughs through his tears, “I know, Seulie, Just promise me, okay?”
“I promise.” Haseul stands up and wraps her best friend in her arms. Kai crumbles in the warm embrace, his sobs reverberate off the office walls. And all Haseul can do is hold him.
The next morning, Haseul takes Hyunjin out to the garden while her parents talk, leaving the King and Queen alone. Kai tells Vivi with a choked voice and shaking hands. Vivi remains quiet as Kai explains. The only indication that she’s listening are the tears she cries. There aren’t enough words in the world to express what she’s feeling.
She has grown to love the man standing in front of her. She has grown with him. Vivi knew she would never have the luxury to marry for love, but she was lucky to marry a man she could fall in love with. Not in the way that romance movies portray, not in the way that she feels anything more than a familial love for him. But she loves him, he is a major piece of her life. He has been her confidant, her partner in crime, her rock to lean on, her co-parent. Her absolute best friend. They’ve both sacrificed so much for their people, for Fiore, and now he’s dying. He’s leaving her.
“I don’t want to lose you,” Vivi weeps. Kai hugs her to his chest, his hand gently running down the back of her head.
“I don’t want to go.”
“God, what are we going to tell Hyunjin?” Vivi’s stomach drops at the thought.
“The truth, when the time is right. For now, I have a present for her.” Kai brushes away Vivi’s tears with his thumbs. He strides across the room and pulls a giant teddy bear from the closet. A strangled laugh pushes out of Vivi’s lips.
“She’s going to lose her mind.”
“Come on, let’s go show her.” He takes her hand in his, bringing it to his lips. A quiet reassurance. He is here. For now, he is here.
When they reach the gardens, Hyunjin rushes to her dad. Her little feet trampling the ground as she stops in front of him. On his shoulders sits the giant teddy bear. Kai grins at his daughter. Her eyes wide and mouth agape.
“Is—is that for me?” She gasps.
“It is,” Kai kneels on the ground. “I love you beary much, Hyunnie.”
“I love you beary much, too, daddy,” she giggles and reaches her hand out to pet the teddy bear. “What’s it for?”
“When I’m gone, you can hug this all you want. It’ll be just like daddy is hugging you back,” Kai swallows past the lump in his throat. “When I can’t be with you, this bear can.”
Hyunjin hugs her dad excitedly, missing the misty eyes of her father and the crying women that stand behind her. The three adults brush their tears away before the princess can see.
The next week, Kai is with Hyunjin out on the east lawn. A target is a few feet away from them, a little kiddie bow in Hyunjin’s hands. He has wanted to teach this sport to Hyunjin for a while, but continually put it off. He can’t change the past, but he can spend what time he has left doing all that he wished to do with his daughter.
Kai kneels beside his daughter, adjusting her grip on the bow. Hyunjin furrows her brows in concentration, her tongue poking out. “Is this right, daddy?”
“You got it,” He beams at her. Kai spent the first half of the lesson teaching her the components of the bow and the lingo before bringing her to the practice range he set up. “Okay, now grab an arrow from your quiver.” Hyunjin’s small hands reach for the arrows in the quiver strapped to her waist.
“Nock the arrow,” she says, though she turns to her dad to double check.
“Yes!” Kai fist pumps and Hyunjin giggles. “You catch on fast, Hyunnie.” Hyunjin lifts the bow so her left arm is straight and her right arm is pulled back toward her face. Kai moves to lower her right arm slightly. “Keep it here, near your jaw. When you’re ready, take a deep breath and release.”
“Okay,” Hyunjin whispers, eyes focused forward. She takes a calming breath and makes sure her arrow is lined up with the center of the target. It’s no more than three feet away, and when she releases the string the arrow flies right into the target.
Kai cheers. “Center! Center! On your first shot, unbelievable!” He hoists his daughter up, spinning her in a circle while she laughs. “You’re a natural, baby! I’m so proud of you.”
Hyunjin’s smile is so bright, so happy. Kai’s heart aches knowing that his days seeing that smile are numbered. He squeezes her tightly in his arms, planting several kisses across her face as her laughter echoes through the property. The staff that mills around smile at the sight.
“Daddy, put me down, I wanna try again.” Once her feet are back on the ground, she rushes to duplicate the first shot. She turns to her dad with a proud smile, hoping for the same reaction, and when she gets it, her laugh is even louder. She never wants to forget this.
Vivi sits beside Kai’s hospital bed three months later. His condition had worsened quickly, forcing them to tell Hyunjin the truth sooner than they wanted. She looked at her parents curiously before stating that it was like when Kai went on business trips. They tried to tell her he wouldn’t be coming back this time, but Hyunjin would only hug her dad and not let go. She understood. But she didn’t want to.
Over the past few months, Vivi and Kai talked a lot. They broke the news to their country, fielded all the questions they had to, put everything they needed to in order. But they didn’t talk about the one thing that Kai believes is important. And even though his breathing is slowing, even though it hurts like hell to talk, he has to say it.
“You remember when we first met?” He wheezes, startling Vivi.
“Of course I do,” Vivi shifts in her seat. “You spilled your drink on me and said, ‘You’re not the first woman I made wet on first sight.’”
“You smacked me.” Kai’s breathing is getting shallower, his words slow to form.
“I think it was deserved,” Vivi laughs through her tears. Her chest is tightening with each passing second, hands shaking as she tries to cling to Kai as if her tight hold will keep him here.
“Haseul dared me to do it,” he admits with shallow breath. Though his eyes are dull, his smile broken, she can see the happiness. “She didn’t tell me you were the princess I was there to meet.”
“She always liked to play jokes on the more clueless nobles.” Vivi remembers the mischievous nature of Haseul. Where Vivi had to remain composed, Haseul had the ability to act out a little much to her royal friend’s delight. But after all these years, Vivi was unaware of who was behind her meeting her future husband. The thought hurts more at the realization.
“She talked a lot about this royal friend she had, I never knew it was you. I never knew it was you she was in love with until it was too late. Until we were engaged.” Kai begins to cough, full bodied, and wheezing. Vivi rushes to get him a drink, slowly rubbing his back. When he calms down enough to drink the water Vivi responds.
“I had a duty to the crown.”
Kai takes her hand, eye imploring her to listen. “You have given up so much for the crown, Vivi. It’s the crown’s turn to give you something.” His breathing is shallow, the heart monitor on the wall begins to slow. The beeps getting further and further apart. Kai speaks again, his voice barely a whisper, “I don’t regret a single moment with you and Hyunjin. You two were the greatest parts of my life. I love you both more than words can express….but I missed out on the kind of love they talk about in story books. Yours is right in front of you. Haseul is right there, Vivi. Don’t lose her.”
“I love you, Kai.” Vivi sobs when his smile fades and his hand goes limp. The monitor slows to a flatline letting out a prolonged beep. Vivi’s heart breaks. She leaves the hospital in a numb state, not entirely sure how she makes it back to the palace. All she remembers is falling asleep in their bed with Haseul holding her from behind and Hyunjin clinging to her front. They sleep like that for the whole week leading up to the funeral.
Haseul and Vivi have no idea how they made it through that week. It was difficult for them to leave the bed, to be away from Hyunjin for more than a few minutes. Any room they enter isn’t as bright as it once was. The palace is too quiet. No loud laughs, no commotions. There isn’t a smiling face to greet Vivi when she enters their shared office. No bad jokes or chaotic pranks.
The palace is full of people and yet it’s quiet. Dull. Lifeless.
Vivi and Haseul try their best to keep Hyunjin distracted, happy, but it doesn’t work. Hyunjin feels the absence, too. She looks for her dad every night, insists on going into every room in the palace before she will go to sleep. Hyunjin whispers that he will come back before she falls asleep.
Haseul and Vivi share in the misery that is losing their best friend. They find comfort in each other, but it doesn’t fill the void inside them. Doesn’t make the sharp shooting pain in their chests go away. Doesn’t stop the tears or loosens the tightness in their lungs. The three of them go through the motions, make appearances, plan the funeral. No strolls in the garden, or movie nights, or cuddles make that pain go away. No amount of love they pour into each other makes the fact that Kai is dead any less real.
The day they come back from the funeral, Hyunjin runs out of the car the moment it pulls up to the front steps. Vivi goes to follow her daughter, but the press surround them wanting a statement. Haseul gives Vivi a look and the Queen rushes after her daughter leaving Haseul to handle the press.
“As you can see, it is a very difficult time for the Queen and Princess,” Haseul says, her voice composed even with the tears threatening to fall. “I will answer some questions on their behalf.”
Haseul’s voice fades as Vivi rushes into the palace. Their staff point toward Hyunjin’s room, each person’s expression as pained as her own. The Queen reaches her daughters room and gently pushes the door open. Her lip trembles as her teary eyes find her five-year-old daughter sobbing on the giant teddy bear her father got her. Vivi takes tentative steps toward Hyunjin and rests against the bear with her.
“Oh, baby,” she sighs. Her fingers brush the dark locks out of her daughter’s face. Hyunjin peers up at her mom and the sight breaks Vivi’s heart. Hyunjin has always been bright, strong, a whirlwind of chaos wrapped in the gentlest shell. There haven't been many times that Vivi has seen her daughter cry; has seen her so broken. Vivi is certain if she looked in the mirror the pair would be wearing the same expression.
“Daddy said to hug the bear when he was gone,” Hyunjin’s voice is small, eyes searching for some kind of reassurance. Vivi isn’t sure she can give it. “He—he said it would be like hugging him. It’s not—it’s not the same, mommy. When is daddy coming back? I want him to come back.”
“He—” Vivi begins to cry harder, “He’s not coming back, sweetie. It’s just us now.” Hyunjin buries herself in her mom's arms, tugging one of the teddy bear's arms around them, too. That’s how Haseul finds them later, wrapped in the arms of a teddy bear; the teddy bear that is Hyunjin’s only physical connection to her dad. Haseul places a kiss on both of their heads before leaving the room, unsure of how any of them will move on from this.
Hyunjin is eight when she meets Yerim. The Princess is hiding in a small nook underneath the staircase in the main foyer. Her knees are pulled to her chest with her head on her arms as she cries. She overheard her mom and Haseul talking about the preparations for the annual memorial event for her dad. Hyunjin hates that it’s been almost three years without him, without his hugs. She’s slowly forgetting how his laugh sounded and the way his hugs felt. All she has left is a giant teddy bear and memories that are fading faster than she can grasp them. They slip through her fingers like fireflies on summer nights. The memorial is a reminder that her dad is gone and it still hurts.
Yerim finds her there on her way to the security room where her mom, Irene, is working. The two had arrived a few days before, not long after the old head of security moved out. Yerim’s mom, who’s now the head of security, told her to go explore the palace grounds and get familiar with it. She found all kinds of secret passages and hiding spots she could use to pull pranks, much to her mother’s dismay. That’s how she finds Hyunjin.
Yerim is aware that it’s the royal heiress. She’s aware what date is approaching. The young girl knows what it’s like to lose a parent, though she was far younger than Hyunjin when it happened. Still, the hole is there regardless.
“The guards have been looking for you,” Yerim approaches the crying girl.
“Let them look, they’ll find me eventually,” Hyunjin sighs and wipes her eyes. “Who are you?”
“Yerim,” she smiles, “my mom is your mom’s guard now. Wanna play a game?”
“I don’t really feel like it.” Hyunjin tucks herself tighter into herself and pulls her gaze away from Yerim.
“You’re already playing though,” Yerim tilts her head, her smile never fading.
“What?”
“All you have to do is hide, Hyunjin.” Yerim stretches out her hand. “Then we watch the guards frantically look for you and see how long it takes!”
Hyunjin hesitates but grabs the new girl’s hand and lets her drag her out of the foyer. The princess isn’t sure what to think of Yerim, who talks incessantly and never stops smiling, but something about it feels familiar. She finds herself smiling despite the ache in her chest.
The pair are inseparable by the end of Irene’s first week. Yerim doesn’t mind when Hyunjin gets quiet, she fills the silence. She doesn’t question why Hyunjin talks to the teddy bear in her room, or why she randomly cries. But seeing Yerim happy without a dad, gives Hyunjin hope that she’ll be okay, too.
Vivi watches the friendship bloom, relieved that her daughter has found a friend. The life of a princess is often a lonely one, she remembers that well. Her friends were other princesses and nobles until she met Haseul. Though Vivi is happy that her daughter has a companion, she isn’t happy about the absolute chaos the duo causes in the palace. Wherever Hyunjin and Yerim are there is a guarantee that something will break or laughter will echo through the corridors.
She’ll never forget going to take a piece of pie only for a frog to jump out covered in cherry filling. Vivi knew immediately who the culprits were and found them giggling in the pantry of the kitchen. Despite the mischief the pair gets up to, Vivi is beyond thankful for Yerim coming into Hyunjin’s life. The security guard’s daughter reminds the Queen so much of Kai, with her bright smile and silly antics.
The Queen tried her best to cheer up her daughter after Kai’s passing. They watch movies, play card games, go for walks in the woods, but it’s difficult. Vivi is running the country alone now and it pulls so much time from being with Hyunjin. She couldn’t grieve as long as she needed to, she had to jump back into her duties as a queen and as a mother. Haseul does her best to be there for Hyunjin; playing with her, talking to her, simply being there. But having a friend her own age, someone who understands that loss and is okay, that was something Hyunjin needed.
Even if it gives the whole palace headaches.
It only gets worse when the Queen finds the two girls out in the gardens with a new friend. “Mom, we found her on the front step!” Hyunjin grins tugging her new friend toward her mother.
“Yeah, can we keep her, Your Majesty?” Yerim adds with a bright smile.
“She’s a person, girls, not a puppy,” Vivi looks over the young girl, “where are your parents, sweetie?”
“My name’s Hyejoo,” she frowns, “and they left me.”
“See, we can keep her right?” Hyunjin looks at her mom, her bottom lip jutting out.
“Let me go talk to Haseul, you three stay here okay? Don’t go too far.”
“Yes, Your Majesty!” Yerim says only for Hyunjin to smack her arm. Vivi shakes her head and walks back toward the palace.
“Stop, you can just call her my mom,” Hyunjin grumbles.
“She’s the Queen, Hyun. I’m young, not stupid.” Yerim rolls her eyes and turns to their new friend. “Wanna play a game we call Hide Hyunjin?”
“Sure, what do we do?” Hyejoo looks between her new friends who are both grinning.
“We hide Hyunjin and then laugh as the security guards can’t find her,” Yerim giggles, “They can be kinda dumb.” Hyejoo agrees and the trio rushes off deeper into the garden losing Hyunjin’s security guards on the way. Hyejoo stays hidden with Hyunjin in one of the bushes deep within the garden. They watch in amusement as Yerim walks innocently up to a guard.
“Mr. Guard Sir, I can’t find Hyunjin,” Yerim pouts.
“You hid her again, didn’t you?” The guard sighs when Yerim’s shrug. He speaks into his radio, “Code 2, the Cat is missing again.”
“Are they playing Hide Hyunjin again?” Another voice calls through the speaker. “I’ll alert the Deer and Dove.” A few beats pass before Vivi’s voice can be heard through the whole garden.
“I told them to stay there!” Vivi yells, causing Hyunjin and Hyejoo to giggle in the bushes. It doesn’t take long for them to be found, but the trio have never smiled so big. Vivi and Haseul, always weak to the kids happiness, take them down to the kitchen and get to know Hyejoo over bowls of ice cream.
Hyejoo, being abandoned, allows for the Crown to take on legal guardianship of her. Haseul offers to look after the dark haired girl, but everyone in the palace begins to pitch in just as they do for Yerim and Hyunjin. Though Hyejoo technically lives in the suite with Haseul, she spends most nights sleeping in Hyunjin’s room with Yerim.
The trio, though a bit destructive, are sweeter than anything. Hyejoo is often found rummaging through the kitchen for snacks for Hyunjin when she’s sad. Or Yerim who takes the blame for pranks they pull to protect her friends. Or Hyunjin who settles disputes with a fair hand.
Vivi watches as her daughter grows older with her best friends. She watches as Hyunjin takes on more of the qualities of her late father. Hyunjin has always been kind and thoughtful, but the older she gets the more obvious it becomes to Vivi. Her daughter is strategic like she is, organized like Haseul, and brave like her father. Hyunjin goes down to Strelitzia and gives aid where it is needed, she hears the needs of the people and brings the information back to her mom. And she does so with her friends, who share similar traits.
Though that’s easy to forget when the flower pots on her balcony keep breaking.
Vivi initially thinks it was stray rocks hit by the lawnmowers, but when she steps out onto her balcony one afternoon her suspicions are disproved. Her newly potted plant is shattered by an arrow that flies past her.
“Hey!” She yells, looking around the grounds below. Unsurprisingly, she sees the thirteen-year-old trio looking up at her sheepishly.
“Sorry, mom,” Hyunjin ducks her head. In her hand is an old bow and arrow from the barn that Vivi recognizes. “We’ve been trying to practice.”
Vivi remembers a time after Kai’s death when she found Hyunjin out by the practice range. Her small bow in her hand, arrows littering the ground around her, and tears streaming down her face. The young girl kept repeating that she couldn’t do it, that it wasn’t working. All Hyunjin wanted was to make her dad proud, and now she can’t even succeed in the last thing he taught her. Vivi’s heart broke then and it breaks again now realizing the once talented little archer can’t even remember the basics Kai taught her.
Maybe she doesn’t want to.
“Let me at least get you three a trainer, okay? I don’t need to lose an eye,” Vivi forces a laugh and smiles at her daughter, who beams right back.
“You’d look good with an eye patch, Your Majesty,” Yerim grins with a thumbs up. Hyejoo nods along beside her.
“I’d rather not have to find out, Yerim.” Vivi looks back to her daughter, “If you are going to practice for now, how about aiming out toward the pond.”
“Sure thing, mom.” Hyunjin blows her mom a kiss before turning to face the opposite direction. Her friends duck behind a tree just in case. Vivi keeps her eyes on her daughter, watching her form before the arrow goes flying, though not in the direction of the pond. The grin Hyunjin shoots at her friends is so similar to that of Kai’s that Vivi loses her breath.
Hyunjin offers the bow to Yerim and helps her hold it like she had. She talks carefully, gestures to Yerim, before giving her an encouraging thumbs up. Everything about the moment reminds Vivi of her late best friend, and though the ache has dulled over the years, it has never disappeared. Watching Hyunjin playing with the bow and arrow, her heart swells and a tear slides down her cheek.
“She is so much like her father,” Haseul’s voice says from behind her. All Vivi can do is nod. Haseul wraps her arms around the Queen and the pair watches in wonder at the magnificent woman Hyunjin is growing into.
Vivi smiles, “Kai would be so proud of her.”
The Jeon’s garden is in full bloom during the spring. The colorful array of flowers brightens the outdoor area. Sun glistens off the lake, casting a glare that many of the nobles turn their backs to. Hyunjin isn’t one of them. She sits, as elegantly as one can, on a rock near the lake. Her floral dress ruffles in the breeze, flower petals float past her and drift into the water. She shouldn’t be hiding, she’s well aware of that. But, to be fair, she is in plain sight for anyone who may want to talk.
Hyunjin did her rounds though. She already greeted the dignitaries of all ranks. She’s said hello to those royals within her age. She had polite chit-chat with Queen Jessica and her sister, Princess Krystal. Hyunjin even danced a few rounds with Dukes, Lady’s, and even one Lord who would not stop pestering her—he proceeded to step on her foot multiple times before she called it quits.
She’s not really hiding as much as she’s taking a break. There’s no rest for a princess, especially one that is to assume the throne in two years time. Hyunjin has to make a good impression on everyone she meets. There are potential investors, alliances, and partnerships that can be formed at these functions. Vivi has drilled that in her head. Her mom also tells her that there is no fault in taking a moment to collect oneself.
“It is better to face them with a clear head than one on the verge of exploding,” Vivi tells her before each event. Mostly in response to the one Kai Memorial Ball when Hyunjin was ten and she had screamed at King Seokjin for taking the last brownie. Hyunjin had been tired, overwhelmed, missing her father terribly, and lashed out. King Seokjin, being nothing but kind when addressing Hyunjin that evening. He missed Kai, too, and her outburst was a normal reaction to stress.
She misses both of the late Kings.
Hyunjin walks herself over to the lake feeling too overwhelmed. She sent Vivi the look and the Queen simply nodded, turning back to her conversation with Countess Eunbi.
She isn’t sure she wants to go back to the party at all. It’s not much of a party as much as it’s an opportunity for the nobles and royals to flaunt their ridiculous wealth and status. Hyunjin doesn’t care for it. She wants to discuss issues that matter, not listen to people boast and try to one up each other. But it’s her duty to attend these events; to save face and make sure she is well aligned to make the best decisions for her people.
“Is this seat taken?” A slow, sweet voice asks from behind her. Hyunjin turns to find Princess Jinsol smiling softly. The blonde princess gestures to the rock beside Hyunjin.
“It’s all yours.” The pair sit on the rocks staring out at the lake. Voices rise and fall from up in the garden. Laughter reaches their ears before the music picks back up again.
“You look beautiful today, Hyunjin,” Jinsol says breaking the quiet.
“Only today?” Hyunjin teases, sparing a glance at the woman beside her.
“Now you’re fishing for compliments,” Jinsol laughs.
“And have I caught one?” Hyunjin raises an eyebrow, lips contorting into a sly smirk.
“You look more beautiful every time I see you.” The sincerity in Jinsol’s voice brings Hyunjin to duck her head. Jinsol pokes her in the side.
Hyunjin takes a deep breath and lifts her head, her eyes shining, “you probably say that to all the women.”
“Not true,” Jinsol defends. “I said it to a man once. He appreciated it more than you.” Hyunjin laughs this time, it’s loud. Her hand covering her mouth as she looks away.
“Thank you, Jinsol,” Hyunjin says softly when her laughter dies down. She leans closer to the blonde princess, their shoulders touching. She doesn’t normally appreciate company when she’s trying to clear her head. But it’s different with Jinsol.
The two princesses stay like that, watching the flowers dance in the wind on their way to the water. They watch the sun slowly sink little by little into the horizon. They only break apart when Lady Jungeun comes to find Jinsol, pulling her back toward the garden because Jinsol promised her a dance.
Hyunjin misses her company the moment she’s gone.
Haseul hears snickering as she’s walking past a hall in the palace. She knows this palace like the back of her hand, so when she peers down the hallway and finds it empty, she knows that the trio have found their way into the secret room. Haseul found that room by pure accident once and happened to stumble upon Vivi during her explorations. Many secret dates and moments of reprieve from duties were held in that room. But, knowing where that room leads lets Haseul in on what the trio have planned.
Hyunjin, Hyejoo, and Yerim have always been troublemakers around the palace. That is well known on the property. Haseul has hoped that the three women would have grown out of it now, but it appears that they’re up to their tricks again. Hyunjin has returned home from college, she’d studied public and international affairs on a fast track to graduate in time to assume the throne. Yerim and Hyejoo have been studying at the local college, though while Hyunjin has been away, their antics have not been as frequent. The three women call themselves sisters, even triplets, especially when they all had brown hair that one year and the staff struggled to tell them apart. That only made their pranks even more elaborate.
Vivi’d had to kick Yerim out of a meeting of the Parliament as she was disguised as Hyunjin. It didn’t take long for the Queen to realize that her daughter was not the one sitting beside her.
Haseul approaches the wall with the hidden door, and runs her finger along the molding until it catches on a piece. To any other eye, it would be a dented portion of molding, but Haseul pushes down and watches as the wall swings open revealing a staircase.
Her steps are light as she ascends the stairs, ducking her head not to hit the low ceiling of the room. She hears their laughter again as she gets closer to the room off to the right. The room sits above the kitchen, a grate in the wall opens to give sightlines throughout the whole kitchen. Whoever had designed this palace was spying on everyone , and the trio had every intention of using it for their own gains.
“Girls,” Haseul whispers. The three women startle, yelping as they jump up. Their heads smack the ceiling. “What are you up to?” Hyunjin, Hyejoo, and Yerim exchange guilty glances.
“Mom,” Hyejoo blanches. Though the Crown had fiscal responsibility for Hyejoo, Haseul took on the parenting role with the young girl. Haseul’s heart still warms when she hears that word. “We—um, we’re…”
“You act like such a badass and you’re still scared of your mom,” Hyunjin laughs.
“Please, you do the same with your mom, Hyun,” Yerim rolls her eyes.
“She’s the Queen!” Hyunjin glares at her friend. “Don’t act like you aren’t scared of Irene, too.”
“And? She is armed and well trained, I am not messing with that,” Yerim counters. Haseul watches them go back and forth before intervening.
“Anyone care to explain what you’re doing in here?” Haseul tries again.
“Nothing?” Hyunjin offers weakly. The three women glance through the grate and then back to Haseul.
“Nice try,” Haseul says. “Who are you messing with in the kitchen?”
“How do you—?” Hyejoo tilts her head.
“We’re messing with Yeojin,” Yerim admits with a grin.
“Yerim!” Hyejoo and Hyunjin both hit the girl on the arm.
“Why are you messing with Yeojin?” Haseul kneels to the ground, her back hurting from the hunched position she has been keeping. “For fun or for revenge?”
“Revenge,” Hyejoo says.
“She said something mean and we’re getting her back,” Hyunjin shrugs.
“Yeah, she said you follow Vivi around like a lost puppy.” Yerim receives another round of smacks from Hyejoo and Hyunjin.
“Please stop hitting her,” Haseul sighs. “Is there a frog in the pie?” The trio share grins but shake their heads. “Is it dangerous, deadly, or disgusting?”
“Disgusting,” they say in unison. This is a system Haseul has developed over the years with the three. Their pranks have often been harmless, but there are occasions where they don’t think of the ramifications of their actions, and people have been hurt. When the prank is disgusting, though, Haseul usually makes them clean up the mess after and tell Vivi. But, the chef’s daughter could use a lesson in making fun of her.
“Good luck,” Haseul starts backing out the room. “Don’t get caught, and when you do, I know nothing about this. I was never here.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Hyejoo smiles. Yerim nods in agreement, giving her a thumbs up.
“Yeah, thanks, Mam—Haseul…” Hyunjin turns her head away to look back in the grate. Haseul turns before the girls can see the pained expression on her face. As she’s walking back down the stairs, she hears a crash, followed by a scream. She closes the hidden door and proceeds to her office without a glance back.
A few weeks later, Hyunjin’s standing in her mom’s suite. It’s the day after her twenty-first birthday, and she’s supposed to be celebrating with Yerim and Hyejoo. They had a whole weekend planned, but her mom had requested her presence. And when the Queen requests one's presence, there’s no avoiding it, especially when the Queen is her mom.
“What’s going on, mom? Is there something wrong with Haseul?” Hyunjin reaches out to her mom who is sitting on the lounge chaise.
“No, Haseul is fine,” Vivi regards her daughter. She’s grown so much. Long gone are the days she asks for bedtime stories or tea parties. Long gone are the movie night cuddles and walks in the garden with Haseul. Hyunjin isn’t a kid anymore. She has a degree and real world experience. She’s taller than her mom and built strong like her dad. Yet, despite the fact that Hyunjin is grown enough to care for herself, Vivi had hoped she could do this one last thing to take care of her daughter.
“Mom, you’re scaring me.” Hyunjin crosses the room and sits beside her mom. “Can you please tell me?” Hyunjin remembers the last time her mom was this quiet and it ended with her telling Hyunjin that her father was dying. The Princess can only imagine the worst right now.
“You know about our Fiore's marriage law, right?”
“Yeah, it states that any heir or heiress to the throne must marry before they can be crowned,” Hyunjin states, “what does this—oh…”
“You’re twenty-one now, you’re expected to take the throne within the next few years…” Vivi runs a hand over her face, finally meeting her daughter's concerned gaze. “I spent most of my time as queen trying to repeal this law. It isn’t fair to force anyone into a marriage they do not want for politics.”
“But you and dad…”
“I loved Kai, I don’t regret my marriage with him, but I didn't love him like that…” Vivi wistfully looks away. Hyunjin knows without asking who Vivi loves. Haseul has been there long before Hyunjin was adopted and has stayed this whole time. She’d be blind and stupid not to notice the way the women look at each other. Hyunjin and her friends don’t understand why they aren’t together, yet.
“What are you trying to say?”
“I never wanted you to have to marry someone so you can rule the country, but those crotchety old men in parliament won’t listen to me.” Vivi grabs Hyunjin’s hand. “I wanted to be able to give you the option to choose who you will marry based on who you love, but I failed. The parliament has given you a year to find a suitable partner to marry before you can assume the throne.”
“And if I don’t?”
“The crown will go to the next family in line, the Choi’s. But this throne has been in the hands of our family for centuries and—” Vivi takes a calming breath, her shoulder dropping. “I don’t want you to worry about that.”
“No, this is our family’s crown, I won’t let us lose that,” Hyunjin stands.
“Hyunnie, I’m so sorry, I wanted to give you the life your father and I didn’t get to have.”
“It’s okay, mom. It’s my duty, and I will fulfill it.” Hyunjin kisses her mom on the forehead and turns to leave. When the door shuts, both let out the tears they held back.
Later, Haseul is walking back to her suite after dealing with a fiasco in the kitchen because of Hyejoo and Yerim. She’s passing Hyunjin’s room when she hears the familiar sounds of the girl’s sobs. Haseul is thrown back to the day she found Vivi and little Hyunjin after Kai’s funeral, and her heart aches.
Worry gets the best of her and she pushes the door open slightly and hesitates. Hyunjin is curled in the arms of the giant teddy bear that still resides in the corner of her room. She’s crying into the matted fur, hands clutching at the soft body of the teddy bear.
“I miss you, Dad,” Hyunjin cries. “I wish I could remember how your hugs feel. I wish I could remember more about you other than the stories mom and Haseul tell me...I miss you so much. Mom does her best. Haseul, too. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to marry someone I don’t love. I can’t—I can’t do this, Dad. But I have to, it’s my duty. I have a duty to my people, to Fiore…”
There is a moment of quiet before a loud sob erupts from the young woman’s lips. Haseul doesn’t hesitate anymore. She crosses the room and wraps her arms around Hyunjin’s shaking body. The Princess collapses into the embrace, clinging to Haseul like she had clung to her mom all those years ago.
Notes:
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Chapter 2: The Jungs
Notes:
Seriously, a huge thank you to Bayli for editing this so quickly for me. You are the BEST BEST.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Jungs
The early afternoon sun shines down on the four young girls in the garden of the Jung’s palace in Valo. A small round table sits in the middle of the lawn surrounded by blooming roses. Guards stand scattered about, sunglasses drawn over their eyes, hands clasped behind their backs. Their watchful eyes scan the area ignoring the spat that has broken out at the table.
A tea set sits atop the table surrounded by sweets and the four Jung princesses. The oldest sits at the head of the table, a crooked tiara nestled neatly in her dark hair. She waves her hand dismissively as one of the younger sisters pours her tea.
“Yerin, that’s enough,” she scolds and takes the teapot from her little sister’s hands.
“Sorry, Jessica.” Jessica glares until Yerin corrects herself, “Your Majesty.” Yerin scurries back to her seat next to the youngest Jung princess.
“Jinsol, Yerin, you may have more cookies,” Jessica commands, lifting her tea cup to her lips. The two youngest grin and dive into the pile of cookies in front of them. Crumbs cover their faces and clothes. “Krystal, where’s my cake?”
“On the table,” the second oldest grumbles with a cross of her arms.
“Why isn’t it on my plate?” Jessica turns to her.
“You have two arms, do it yourself.” Krystal pushes her chair back and walks over to her little sisters. She looks at the toddler and six-year-old with soft eyes. Their little hands shoving pink frosted cookies in their mouths with matching grins, not a care in the world. Krystal kneels between them, a plan unfolding in her mind. “You enjoying the cookies?”
“Mhm,” Jinsol smiles with a mouth full of cookies.
“Do you want even more cookies?” Krystal glances up and spots Jessica trying to cut the cake. The teenager is making a bigger mess than the two little ones. “I can get you even more without mom and dad knowing.”
Yerin and Jinsol share a look.
“More cookies?” Yerin holds one up in front of Krystal.
“Yes, more cookies.” Jinsol tugs on her sister's dress and picks up a brownie. “And brownies?” The youngest nods and takes a big bite of the brownie. “Sure, yeah, more cookies and brownies. All you have to do is sit here. Don’t move, no matter what.”
“But cookies.” Jinsol pouts.
“You can eat all the cookies and brownies you want when I say, okay? I promise,” Krystal holds out her pinky. Yerin and Jinsol latch theirs around the eight-year-old’s. They all grin. Krystal moves back to her seat as Jessica finally gets a piece of cake onto her plate. The oldest Jung jostles the table as she sits, knocking her tea cup over. Liquid pools on the table top soaking the cloth and spilling off the edge.
“Yerin! Jinsol! Clean this mess up,” Jessica snaps her fingers.
Neither of them move.
“I said, clean this up!” Jinsol and Yerin giggle, but remain in their seats. Jessica huffs and turns to Krystal. “What did you do?”
“What do you mean, Your Majesty? Are your subjects not doing your bidding?” Krystal smirks. “How sad.”
Jessica tosses her hands into the air, letting out a groan. “You just have to make everything about you!”
“Me?” Krystal shrieks, her composure falling away. “You’ve been bossing us around all afternoon! We’re your sisters, not your servants!”
“We were playing a game,” Jessica stomps over to Krystal. The pair are nose to nose. “Admit it, you don’t like when you’re not in charge.”
“Last I checked, no one died and made you queen, Jessica.” Krystal pushes her sister back. Jessica retaliates quickly. Their voices raise as their argument intensifies. The guards hesitate on intervening until the eldest princesses are caught in a wrestling match on the ground. Behind all the chaos sits Yerin and Jinsol, both watching with bright smiles as they eat their fill of cookies and brownies.
The Kim-Wong’s palace is buzzing with life. Music drifts through the ballroom as bodies gracefully glide across the floor. Jessica spots her parents in a loving embrace in the middle of the ballroom, effortlessly moving to the music with smiles on their faces. They had left her to mingle with the nobles her age, though she much prefers to interact with the older nobles; they are much less inclined to boast to her.
Instead, Jessica is stuck with Lord Namjoon who is trying to explain the effects of the drought on the economy in her country, Valo, as if Jessica is not already keenly aware of the issue as the heiress to the throne. She swishes her drink in her glass feigning interest.
“Yes, you do make an excellent point, Lord Namjoon,” Jessica says.
The man smiles, though it doesn’t show in his eyes. Jessica scans the room and spots a friend. “If you’ll excuse me.” She doesn’t wait for a response before removing herself from Lord Namjoon’s presence.
Every ball they attend becomes progressively more painful with nobles trying to impress her. Jessica doesn’t see why they even bother, there is no marriage law in Valo. She doesn’t need to marry in order to assume the throne, and she certainly isn’t going to marry someone who attempts to explain her own country to her.
“Your Highness,” her friend bows.
“Taecyeon, stop it,” Jessica rolls her eyes. Her friend straightens up, his eyes sparkling.
“At least when I bow we’re the same height,” Lord Taecyeon grins. “Got tired of Lord Namjoon’s rambling?”
“He’s sweet, but he’s boring.” Jessica sets her glass down and looks at her friend expectantly. “Are you going to ask me to dance?”
“Only if you’re ready for me to embarrass you with how good I am.”
“Lord Taecyeon, you will never be better than me.” Taecyeon takes her hand and guides her out to the middle of the ballroom. They join in the dance, stepping past King Kai and Queen Vivi, who both smile at the young nobles. Taecyeon holds firm to Jessica as they two-step across the ballroom floor.
Across the room, Krystal and Yerin watch Jessica dance with Taecyeon. It isn’t often the eldest princess can be seen smiling, but when she does, Taecyeon is never too far behind. Krystal and Yerin are soon swept away from the sidelines by their parents and pulled to talk to other dignitaries.
Jinsol is hidden away by the dessert table, trapped in a conversation with Lady Yoohyeon and Lady Minji. The two are chatting incessantly at Jinsol, who’s struggling to keep up. She’s known the pair for most of her childhood, having interacted at several balls and charity events. But Jinsol can’t match their energy often.
“Come dance with us, Your Highness,” Minji says.
“Yeah, we can dance with three, it’ll be fun!” Yoohyeon nods enthusiastically. Jinsol’s hands shake at the idea, her eyes dart around the room desperately trying to find a way out. She spots Princess Hyunjin standing near King Seokjin. The two are talking, the King looking down toward his leg where Princess Heejin is hiding.
“Actually, my parents wanted me to get to know Princess Hyunjin and Princess Heejin,” Jinsol says quickly. “Excuse me.” Jinsol scurries across the room, her dress swishing behind her. Minji and Yoohyeon watch dejectedly as Jinsol disappears.
“I think we came on too strong again” Minji sighs. “Well, will you dance with me, Yooh?” Yoohyeon nods and the two of them head to the dance floor.
Jinsol reaches the princesses and King Seokjin with a grin. “Hi, Your Majesty, Your Highnesses.”
“Hi Princess Jinsol,” Seokjin smiles. “Say hi, Heejin.” The young princess hides further behind his leg.
“Hi, Jinsol,” Hyunjin says, taking attention off Heejin. “I like your dress, it looks like water.”
“Thanks! Blue is my favorite color,” Jinsol smiles and looks back to Heejin who is talking to her dad. King Seokjin is kneeling in front of her, her hands in his. He nods and then turns to Jinsol and Hyunjin.
“Heejin isn’t feeling well, we’re going to go sit over there,” the King gestures to the back of the room. “It was lovely talking to you, Princesses.” Jinsol and Hyunjin curtsy as the King takes leave with his daughter in his arms.
Hyunjin tugs the older girl's hand. “Want to see my room?”
Jinsol shrugs. “Sure, lead the way.”
Hyunjin leads them through a series of halls and staircases. Her guard is not too far behind them, watching from a distance. Servants wave to the little girl and compliment her outfit. Jinsol is taken aback by how caring the staff is in the Kim-Wong’s palace. The staff in the Jungs’ palace often turn a blind eye to the princesses unless they’re addressed directly.
Hyunjin opens the door to her room with a flourish and a grin. Her bedroom is littered with toys and stuffed animals. A large canopy bed nestled against one wall and a giant teddy bear against the other. Hyunjin pulls the older princess toward the teddy bear.
“Daddy got me this!” Hyunjin pets the arm with a smile, “for when he’s gone.”
“Gone?” Jinsol’s brows furrow. “Like, on trips?” Hyunjin’s smile droops, her hand stills on the bear.
“I guess,” her voice quiet. “Mommy and Mama Seul say he won’t be coming back this time.”
Jinsol’s breath hitches at the little princess’s admission. She’s far more observant and intelligent than many adults give her credit for. She knows exactly what Hyunjin is saying. The younger girl goes back to petting the arm of the bear, gaze distant and frown forming. Jinsol steps up closer to her and lays a gentle hand on her shoulder. Hyunjin looks up at her.
“Wanna go steal from the dessert table?” Jinsol lets a toothy grin spread across her face. Hyunjin brightens and drops the bear's arm. The pair take off back down to the ballroom in search of the desserts.
The two princesses gather up treats and bring them over to the table where King Seokjin sits with Heejin. Jinsol and Hyunjin greet the King before going up to Heejin and offering her a cupcake. Hesitantly, Heejin takes the sweet. “Thank you,” she whispers.
The King smiles at the three girls and disappears to find his wife. Jinsol and Hyunjin chatter as Heejin listens intently, occasionally stealing another treat from the pile in front of her new friends. Jinsol pushes the plate closer to her with a smile.
When the Jungs leave later that night, Hyunjin comes running toward her, wrapping her arms around her waist. Jinsol promises that she’ll be back soon and they can play together again. Hyunjin makes her pinky promise.
“Be sure to greet everyone, Jessica,” King Jung says shifting in his seat.
“And give them our apologies for not greeting them personally,” Queen Jung adds. She lays a hand on her husband’s.
“But, you both are doing well today, why can’t—” Jessica is stopped short by her mother’s glare. She bends in a curtsy. “Of course. I will be sure to tell them.” Jessica leaves her parents on the balcony and heads out to the garden where the guests await. Barely eighteen and she has been the one running the social aspects of Valo. It isn’t new to her. She’s been doing this since she was fifteen when her parents first told her they were sick.
The King and Queen are slowly losing their ability to remember things. Important events slip their mind, tasks they are in the middle of are easily forgotten, names of dignitaries and nobles nowhere to be found. It’s hard for their daughters to watch their parents lose their abilities to socialize and think on the same level they once did. The doctors say it’s early onset dementia, but no one in Valo knows; no one outside the gold encrusted walls of their palace.
Jessica is the first heiress to the throne, but when they found out that the King and Queen were no longer fit for the throne, they panicked. Jessica was too young at the time, only fifteen. She couldn’t assume the throne at that age and King Jung didn’t want the crown to go to the hands of his inept younger brother. Jessica’s lessons intensified.
While her peers and siblings had childhoods and teenage years filled with fun, hers had been filled with lessons and parliamentary hearings. She spent her days inside the family study pouring over books on history, literature, art, and finances. She learned how to rule a country by the age of seventeen and assumed the unofficial role as the Queen. No one was to know, no one could know. Jessica has spent countless events creating elaborate excuses and explanations for the absence of her parents as she shoulders the weight of an entire country and family.
But it is her duty. It is her birthright.
As she approaches the doors that let out into the garden she takes a deep breath. Her hands run down her pastel dress, smoothing out any wrinkles, and nods to the doorman. The double doors swing open, and the notes from the harpist float towards her as a gentle invitation. When she steps out into the garden, her younger sisters appear by her side. Each eyes her with equal looks of concern, but Jessica simply smiles.
“Everything okay?” Krystal steps toward her and tucks a stray hair back into place.
“Yes, mom and dad want me to greet everyone,” Jessica puts her shoulders back, lifting her chin. “Please, behave, and Jinsol—”
The youngest looks up at her sister with wide eyes. “Yeah?”
“It’s ‘yes,’ never ‘yeah,’” Jessica scolds. Jinsol’s lower lip trembles. Bending down, Jessica wipes a tear off the corner of the little girl’s eye. “I’m sorry, but you need to be more aware of how you speak in these settings. You are a princess, Jinsol, you must act like one.”
“Jessica,” Krystal hisses.
“I’m okay,” Jinsol says, standing taller, her mouth in a thin line. “I will do better.” Yerin wraps an arm around Jinsol’s shoulder and glares at Jessica.
“Don’t take your frustrations out on us because mom and dad are putting too much pressure on you,” Yerin starts to move Jinsol away from the older siblings.
“I said, I am fine, Yerin,” Jinsol pulls her sister’s arm off. “I don’t need to be babied.” Yerin looks between her sisters and sighs.
“I’m sorry,” Jessica says again, her eyes drifting toward the guests a few yards away. “I love you all very much, I did not intend to hurt you.”
“Please, don’t be afraid to ask us for help,” Krystal holds Jessica’s hand.
“I—” Jessica takes a deep breath, “I could use some assistance greeting our guests. Please tell me you all know their names?” Jinsol is the only one to shake her head. A pout forms on her lips when she realizes.
“Yerin and I will help you.” Krystal crouches and smiles at Jinsol. “You have a really important job today. I need you to find Lady Jungeun; she’s your age. Duchess Sowon and Duchess Eunha adopted her a few months ago, and this is her first event with royals and nobles.”
Jinsol’s eyes light up. “Okay! I can do that.”
“I want you to help make her feel comfortable.”
“Can I be her friend, too?” Jinsol’s brows furrow. Jessica, Krystal, and Yerin laugh.
“Of course, Jinnie.” Krystal pecks Jinsol’s cheek before ushering her off to find Jungeun. The three oldest princesses watch her scamper away with smiles.
“I will take the North garden, Yerin take the West, and Krystal take the East,” Jessica instructs, immediately back to business. “We’ll meet in the South and work together on the last bit. Make sure to have polite small talk, and apologize on our parent’s behalf, understood?”
“You got it, my Queen,” Yerin salutes and walks toward the party.
“You are not in this alone, Jessica, please remember that,” Krystal offers her one last smile and a squeeze to her hand before she disappears as well. Jessica takes an extra moment to herself, shedding the weight that had been sitting on her shoulders. She isn’t alone. And that’s a mantra she has to continue to repeat as she walks toward the hundreds of guests that swarm their palace’s garden.
She isn’t alone.
A few hours later, Jinsol is near the edge of the party, her eyes scanning the crowd, still in search of Lady Jungeun. She sees Yerin charming her way through a small group of young noble boys who all gaze after her in wonder. Yerin’s smile is bright, disarming, and her voice polite in a way that truly can charm anyone she speaks to. She has the younger nobles looking at her in awe, and the older nobles impressed by her skills and maturity. Jinsol hasn’t quite reached that level of interaction with people. Jessica’s words tumble around in her mind.
You are a princess, Jinsol, you must act like one .
Across the garden, Jinsol spots an unfamiliar face. The young girl shifts on her feet, eyes darting around at all the people, twirling brown hair between her fingers. Jinsol realizes that she must be Lady Jungeun. She’s quick to walk across the garden toward Jungeun. She greets dignitaries that smile at her and friend’s that say hello, but Jinsol has one task on her mind; to befriend Lady Jungeun.
“Hello, I’m Jinsol.” The Princess lowers herself into a curtsy. When she looks up she finds Jungeun staring at her, wide-eyed.
“Oh!” She gasps, mimicking the curtsy awkwardly. “Your Highness, I—I’m sorry. It’s a—It’s a...nice to meet you.” Jungeun ducks her head, her hair falling in front of her face, though Jinsol still spots the rush of red to the tips of her ears. She giggles.
“The pleasure is mine, Lady Jungeun.” Jinsol smiles when Jungeun’s mouth falls open. It’s obvious to Jinsol that the young girl has not been around long. That reaction is certainly not proper etiquette.
“How do you know my name?” Jungeun shifts on her feet again. She notices the eyes watching them, but Jinsol pays them no mind.
“I’m a princess, I have to know everyone’s name.”
“What about him?” Jungeun points to the tall man standing beside Jessica. The pair chatter animatedly before she bids him a goodbye.
“That’s Lord Taecyeon.”
“And her?” Jungeun points to the blue-haired woman in a well fitted suit.
“Duchess Siyeon, she looks scarier than she actually is,” Jinsol says. “She sneaks me cookies when Jessica says I can’t have anymore.” Jungeun giggles.
“Is there anyone you don’t know?”
“I don’t really know you,” Jinsol smiles. The musicians at the front of the party switch songs to one Jinsol learned to waltz to. She offers Jungeun her arm. “Will you dance with me, Lady Jungeun?”
“I—I don’t know how, Your Highness.”
Jinsol takes her hand regardless and leads her towards an open patch of grass. “Follow my lead.”
Jinsol leads the young lady through the steps slowly, not quite to the time of the music. Jungeun fumbles and steps on the Princess’s toes, but Jinsol laughs, not minding in the slightest.
Jessica, Krystal, and Yerin spot Jinsol teaching Lady Jungeun how to waltz. They see the twin grins and the patience in Jinsol’s eyes. Jessica ushers her sisters away and back to their duties, though she throws a lingering glance over her shoulder. She’s happy at least one of them gets a childhood.
Jessica assumes the throne on the day after her twenty-first birthday. With Jessica now as the Queen, their parents were free to retire and live out their lives in the care of the royal nurses. Though Jessica has been at the helm of the Jung rule since she was seventeen, the pressure to rule without her parents is insurmountable. There is no longer a fail safe if something goes wrong, no figureheads or others to blame. The only person the fault can fall on is her. And that thought alone keeps the young queen up at night.
Her royal adviser, Sunny, does her best to help the Queen. She schedules meetings and events as far apart as she can to help ease Jessica into the full role. There are ribbon cutting ceremonies, calls with the Kim-Wongs and the Jeons, charity balls and brunches. There is rarely a moment for Jessica to breathe. She thought having spent so many years wading in the role of the Queen would prepare her for the dive. But she was wrong, nothing could have prepared her for this.
Their country doesn’t have a marriage law, they’re not forcing heirs and heiresses into marriages. No need to have a partner by their side. But Jessica isn’t ruling alone by choice. The one person she wanted to be with, to call her King, married another.
Jessica never got the chance to tell Taecyeon how she felt. He had married a Princess from another country, and she was left behind to rule Valo alone nursing a broken heart that no one was aware of.
“You have a call with Queen Vivi at noon to discuss the annual memoriam ball for King Kai,” Sunny stands by Jessica’s desk with her planner in her hands. “Then you have tea with Prime Minister Joy to discuss the student debt bill, that’s at three. After that you’re free until six when you need to give Yerin and Jinsol their lessons on Valo’s laws.” Sunny glaces up from her planner and finds Jessica slumped at the desk with her head in her hands.
“I still have to finalize my proposal of the student debt bill,” Jessica mumbles. “And I know Prime Minister Joy is going to reject the bill in the state it’s in. I’m going to be up all night revising it, I don’t have time to give my sisters their lessons.”
“I can move their lessons to—” Sunny is interrupted by the door of the office opening.
“I’ll teach them,” Krystal says as she stands in the doorway with her arms crossed.
“You’re a child, you can’t possibly teach them,” Jessica shakes her head. “No, absolutely not.”
“Okay, and do you have a better alternative?” Sunny and Jessica remain silent. “Exactly. Look, Jessica, I’m well ahead of my studies. I spent most of my life helping you with yours to prepare you to take the throne. When you have free time, you can fill in any gaps, but we can’t let Yerin and Jinsol’s lessons slip.”
Sunny turns to the Queen. “She makes a point, Your Majesty.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side, Sunny,” Jessica groans.
“I’m on the side that helps you run this country,” Sunny turns to Krystal. “I’ll send you the lesson plans Jessica and I put together. All the materials are in the third floor study.”
“Thank you,” Krystal smiles. “It wouldn’t kill you to ask for help.” The second eldest turns and leaves the office as quickly as she appeared. She walks back down the corridor away from the sounds of Sunny and Jessica bickering. Further down the hall, she passes Jinsol’s room, she can hear the younger girl laughing on the phone with whom Krystal can only assume is Jungeun. The pair have been inseparable from the moment they met.
When she reaches her room her lady’s maid is waiting for her. Bora is short in stature and big in personality. She’s not one to mince words even with the Princess.
“You look like shit,” Bora points out, gathering a clean outfit for Krystal.
“Thanks, Bora.” The Princess sits on the edge of her bed watching Bora fluttering around the room. Krystal is still in her sleepwear and has to get ready for the day. She had initially gone to her sister’s office to ask if she was needed for anything today. There aren’t many opportunities for the young princess to go out with her friends. She wanted to spend the day in Clara, the capital, with them shopping, but now she has to go over those lesson plans.
Krystal sighs. “Will you help me today?”
“Don’t I help you everyday?” Bora approaches her with a stack of clothes and pushes her towards the bathroom.
“Yes, but I need more help,” Krystal calls through the closed door. “I volunteered myself to teach Yerin and Jinsol their lessons.” Outside the door, Bora’s loud laugh echoes.
“Oh, you poor thing. Your sisters are gonna chew you up and spit you out.”
“They can’t possibly be that bad,” Krystal opens the door and glares at Bora. “Do you always have to put me in a pants suit?”
“You look good in pants suits,” Bora shrugs with a smirk. Krystal rolls her eyes and turns around to hide the blush forming on her cheeks. “You know how troublesome your sisters can be.”
“They don’t like the way Jessica talks to them,” Krystal shrugs. “I’m sure they’ll listen to me better.”
“Whatever you say, Your Highness,” Bora smiles.
Later that evening, Bora is with the princesses in the third floor study. The books are open in front of the young Jungs, but they’re too busy teasing Krystal to pay any attention to words on the page.
“Did Bora dress you again, today?” Yerin giggles and elbows Jinsol.
“We all know Bora loves a good suit,” Jinsol nods, “especially on you, Krystal.”
Bora is not one to get flustered, but Krystal is. The three women laugh as Krystal flushes bright red and tries to hide it behind anger.
“Can you two please focus!” She yells and slams the history book on the table. “Jinsol, explain the Hwang law.”
“Uh—” Jinsol stares at her sister and shrugs.
“What monarch led the motion to the end of mandatory marriages for heirs and heiresses to the throne?” Krystal looks at Yerin.
“The, uh…” Yerin looks to Jinsol for help, who only shrugs in return. Krystal runs her fingers through her hair.
“You both need to study the material we give you. Our country’s laws and history are important to preserving all that we stand for,” Krystal gives them the information sheet her and Bora made. “Stop clowning me and focus.”
“The Hwang law, named after creator Hwang Kwanghee, states that orphaned children are the responsibility of the Crown, and therefore the Crown must finance their overall well-being,” Jessica states entering the study with a click of her heels. “Queen Hyoyeon made a motion on the day of her wedding to abolish the law in 1992. We are one of the only countries to no longer be bound to that archaic law.”
“Jessica, I—” Krystal rushes to explain but her sister holds up her hand.
“I know you tried your best, Krystal.” Jessica turns her steely gaze on the youngest siblings. Jinsol and Yerin don’t flinch. “Do you two ever take anything seriously?”
“Of course we do,” Yerin scoffs and crosses her arms.
“You are princesses, start acting like it,” Jessica steps closer to them, her hands resting on the table as she leans down. “I am tired of your laziness and your attitudes. All you both do is run around this palace like it is an amusement park. We have a duty to our people and our country, and you two are making a mockery of us.”
Jinsol pushes her chair back, the wood clattering loudly to the floor. “Do you ever remove that stick from your—”
Krystal interrupts, “maybe we should—”
“—ass!” Yerin finishes Jinsol’s sentence. “God, you have that stick so far up your ass I don’t think you’ll ever find it! You two are so uptight. It wouldn’t kill you to relax, maybe you’d finally be able to rule this country properly!”
Yerin doesn’t give Jessica a chance to respond as she grabs Jinsol by her wrist. The pair leave the study with Krystal and Jessica staring after them in a stunned silence.
“She makes a point,” Bora pipes up from the chair in the corner.
“Shut up, Bora,” the oldest Jungs say in unison. Though the outburst from their sisters was not entirely appropriate, it was deserved. Jinsol and Yerin do have a point. But that is an issue for another day. Jessica trudges back to the office and, with the help of Krystal, revise the student debt bill until the early hours.
Music flows from the speakers on the walls of the ballroom. A fast paced song reverberates off the walls for a few seconds before Krystal turns off the music. Jinsol and Jungeun exchange nervous glances. Yerin stares at her nails in disinterest.
“That is the music for the ball coming up in two weeks,” Krystal stands in front of the three teenagers. “You need to learn the steps to the Valon Waltz by then. The Queen and the Princesses that are of age in Valo are expected to start off the waltz at the Spring Solstice ball.”
“Why is Jungeun here?” Jinsol asks.
“You need a partner,” Krystal shrugs. Jinsol grins and looks excitedly to her friend whose ears are bright red. “Yerin, you’ll be partnered with Johnny, if that’s alright. You both already know the steps, so this is just a refresher for you both.
Yerin’s guard steps out from his vantage point in the corner and smiles at the princess. Yerin laughs, “I can’t promise I won’t step on your feet.”
“You always step on my feet,” Johnny points out.
“That’s because you stand in the dumbest spots,” Yerin rolls her eyes but steps into the guard’s space. Krystal gestures for her friend, Junho, to come forward and help her demonstrate the steps. She learned this dance a long time ago when Jessica had turned sixteen. Jessica did the dance with Taecyeon, but she was terrible at it. She forced Krystal to practice with her day and night until she mastered it.
“Okay, those are the steps,” Krystal steps away from Junho. “We’ll be watching and helping when you need it.” With that, the older Jung turned the music on and let the pairs get to work.
Yerin and Johnny are a tad slower than the music, but they already have the steps down. Jinsol and Jungeun on the other hand are struggling. More accurately, Jinsol is struggling.
“They showed us once, how am I supposed to learn this dance that quickly?” Jinsol huffs, her hand grips at Jungeun’s waist.
“Jin, it’s okay,” Jungeun stops their movement and runs her hands up and down her arms. “Just breathe, we have time.”
“I have to be perfect,” her face a steely mask, but her voice wavers. “I’m the princess, Jungie. I can’t look like an idiot at the ball,” Jinsol drops her head against her friend’s shoulder, her nose nudges the curve of Jungeun’s neck. Jinsol has a habit of doing this whenever she’s overwhelmed and Jungeun always lets her. The princess isn’t sure what it is about the embrace, but each time she falls into Jungeun’s arms it feels safe; like coming home. And Jungeun is there to hold her tightly and give Jinsol the space to pull herself back together.
“You may be the princess, but you’re human, too. You’re allowed to make mistakes,” Jungeun whispers, brushing dark locks behind Jinsol’s ear. “Besides, I’m going to be right there with you. We’ll look like idiots together.”
Jinsol laughs, a puff of air tickling Jungeun’s neck. Jungeun pushes her friend back with a laugh and offers her hand. Jinsol’s gaze slowly drifts down her face lingering a moment on the shorter girl's lips until she lands on the hand outstretched to her. She smiles.
“Follow my lead,” Jungeun says and slowly leads Jinsol through the steps. Krystal can’t help the smile that grows on her face as she watches her baby sister dance with Jungeun. The sight is familiar, but far more intimate than when the pair were children. She looks away.
Two weeks pass in a flurry of activity: dance lessons on top of dress fittings and planning. But all the planning has come to fruition as the day of the Spring Solstice ball has finally arrived.
The Princesses make their entrance into the ballroom first, descending the staircase one at a time. Their escorts are waiting for them at the bottom. Princess Krystal descends first, her gown shimmers in the glow of the chandelier. Junho extends his arm to her as she reaches the floor and he whisks her away to the center of the floor. Princess Yerin floats down the stairs next, her smile brighter than any light in the room. She laughs at Johnny’s exaggerated bow and the pair join Krystal and Junho in the center.
Lady Jungeun steps up the bottom of the stairs as Princess Jinsol makes her entrance. The air is knocked from her lungs when the youngest princess comes toward her. A blue silk dress clings to her body, rippling like waves with every step she takes. Jungeun feels like the moon, pulling the tides toward her, but she doesn’t want to push them away. What really takes her by surprise is the blonde hair that replaces the once dark locks. Jungeun can’t pull her eyes away.
Jinsol smiles softly at the girl waiting for her in her crisp black tuxedo. Jungeun could have worn a dress, they told her many times, but she wanted to fit in with the other escorts. And Jinsol is thankful. Jungeun looks stunning and Jinsol is weak in the knees.
“You look perfect,” Jungeun whispers the moment the pair meet. Jinsol isn’t sure if the blush on her cheeks is from the compliment or knowing all eyes are on her. As they stand in their spot beside her siblings, Jinsol leans down and presses a chaste kiss to Jungeun’s cheek.
“Thank you.”
Jungeun is too stunned to respond, thankful Queen Jessica took the attention away from them. Jinsol’s heart hammers mercilessly in her chest. Her sisters eye her curiously, having witnessed the small display between the younger girls.
Jessica let Sunny lead her to the center of the room and the beginning chords of the Valon Waltz begin to play. Jinsol bends in a curtsy, Jungeun bows, and the pair step into each other’s arms like magnets. Jinsol’s hand rests on Jungeun’s broad shoulder, her other clasped neatly in her partners. Jungeun pulls Jinsol closer with her hand on the Princess’s hip and begins to dance. They step gracefully, flawlessly. Their bodies and minds in tune with each other. The steps are second nature as is the trust Jinsol feels for Jungeun as they spin around the ballroom.
Jinsol’s eyes never leave Jungeun’s as they move. They are locked in a gaze that’s intensity rivals that of a storm. Each too proud to look away first, but at the same time not wanting to look away at all. It’s in this moment that Jinsol can finally put a name to the feeling she’s had for Jungeun since the day they met.
The shaking hands, the thundering of her heart, the nervous excitement whenever Jungeun is close to her. How her hand twitches to hold the other girls and the way Jinsol runs to Jungeun whenever she gets any kind of news. The heated stares, the red cheeks, the lingering gazes.
As Jungeun twirls Jinsol away from her body only to pull her back in, Jinsol names it.
Love. It’s love. Jinsol loves Jungeun.
Jungeun recently returned from a trip for her eighteenth birthday and the first thing she did when she got back was rush to Jinsol. Jinsol welcomes her best friend back with open arms and a warm smile, the one she reserves only for Jungeun. The pair end up in the music room in the Jung Palace. They sit side by side on the piano bench as Jinsol plays random bits of songs she can remember.
“It was really beautiful in Paris,” Jungeun says, her head leaning on Jinsol’s shoulder. “My moms made me climb the steps up the Eiffel Tower, it was awful. I think my muscles burned for the next week.”
Jinsol laughs, “I would have taken the elevator without them.”
“I did that on the way down,” Jungeun joins the laughter, then sighs. “I wish you were with me, Jin. The view from the Eiffel Tower is—I don’t even have words for it.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t go,” Jinsol’s fingers play a playful tune. “Yerin needed help at the Clara Children's Home, and you know I can’t say no to those kids.”
“I understand, you don’t need to explain to me.” Jungeun snuggles closer to the princess. “Next time, just me and you, okay? We’ll go to Paris and take the elevator up the Eiffel Tower.”
“Deal.” The pair fall silent, basking in the warmth the other’s presence gives them. Jinsol’s fingers restlessly play the keys of the piano. When she’s near Jungeun, there’s this push and pull of excitement and serenity. A polarity between the love she has for the girl and the anxiety she has for keeping it a secret; not knowing if the feeling is reciprocated. Her mind drifts back to the night of the Spring Solstice Ball, to the way Jungeun smiled at her, to the warmth that spread through her chest. To the calm that washed over her when Jungeun’s hand found its way into her as they walked back to her room to sleep.
She doesn’t realize what song she’s playing on the piano until Jungeun begins to sing along. Jinsol taught herself this song the day after the ball, with Jungeun’s words echoing in her mind.
“Darling, you look perfect tonight,” Jungeun’s voice sings sweetly with her eyes closed.
In the hallway, Krystal stands watching through the crack in the doorway. She had been looking for Jinsol all morning for their weekly lesson. She heard the music spilling out of the east wing as she approached. As she peers into the room, she sees Jinsol playing with a quiet passion that only the youngest Jung could accomplish.
Jungeun continues to sing with her eyes closed and misses the look of love and adoration that Jinsol has in her eyes as she watches her sing. But Krystal sees it. She slowly backs away from the door, deciding not to scold her sister for missing lessons.
Krystal can’t shake the uneasy feeling that blooms in her stomach after watching the scene unfold in the music room. She quickly makes her way down to the Queen’s study in hopes that Jessica may quell her anxieties.
“You see it, too,” Jessica puts down her pen and looks at her sister after hearing her story.
“I do,” Krystal sits. “I’m worried, Jessica. There are a lot of royals coming of age to assume their thrones. Jinsol and Jungeun are both suitable partners to court.”
Jessica runs her hands down her face and rests her fingertips on her lips for a moment, palms pressed together as if in prayer. “Jinsol will be of age to marry soon.”
“That’s not—what if they are swept away from each other.” Krystal knows she hit a nerve when Jessica flinches. “I don’t want Jinsol to get hurt…”
There’s a moment where Krystal thinks Jessica might cry, she’s not sure the eldest has let herself feel anything for that heartbreak. Jessica has seen the way Jinsol looks at her best friend, the way that they are drawn to each other. She sees the smile that Jinsol only gives Jungeun and the way she cares so deeply for her. Jessica sees it because that was her. She knows what it’s like to be too late, she doesn’t want that for her baby sister.
“The last thing I want is for Jinsol to hurt the way that I did,” Jessica deflates, “but unfortunately, we can’t protect her from everything.” The eldest Jungs sag in their chairs and sit in the tense silence.
Back in the music room, Yerin is leaning against the piano with a smug grin on her face. Jinsol left to find the sheet music she kept in her room and Yerin took the opportunity to interrogate her sister’s friend.
“So, Jungie,” Yerin leans closer, “I see the way you look at my sister.”
“Wh—what? I don’t—what are you talking about?” Jungeun scoots back on the bench away from Yerin.
“Real smooth,” Yerin laughs and softens her expression. “Seriously, when are you going to tell her how you feel?”
“I—I don’t think she sees me like that, Yerin.” The Princess watches as heat rises to Jungeun’s face. Yerin swears both the girls are blind and stupid for not seeing what’s right in front of them.
“She’d be blind not to see how beautiful and caring you are,” Yerin says softly, a smile brightening her features.
Jinsol sees the interaction and her heart sinks. Yerin has her flirting face on and by the looks of Jungeun, it seems like it’s working. With a sigh, Jinsol buries the ache in her chest, and pushes into the music room loudly announcing she found the music.
Jinsol and Yerin notice how stressed their sisters are. They have been running on fumes long before Jessica turned thirty-one and Krystal twenty-six. The youngest Jungs should have done something sooner, but their royal duties continually clashed. There was never time for the Jung siblings to spend time together.
Yerin convinced Sunny to cancel all their plans for that evening and to send Krystal and Jessica out to the back field. The older sisters were annoyed at the sudden change in their schedules. They had important meetings and pressing matters that needed to be tended to. But Sunny promised their business would be there to be handled the next day.
Begrudgingly, Krystal and Jessica walked to the back field.
“I swear, if those little gremlins try to scare us…” Jessica kicks a stone sending it flying into a bush.
“Kick that rock, that’ll show them,” Krystal snarks, earning a smack from her sister.
“Don’t sass me, I’m your Queen.”
“You’re my sister, shut up.” Jessica lunges for her sister only to slam into her back.
“Wha—” Jessica mumbles into her sister’s back. She peers around her body to see Jinsol and Yerin standing next to two blankets with a basket of food and a fire blazing in a pit. “Girls…?”
Yerin nudges Jinsol, “Oh, uh, well...we thought you two deserved a break. I know we can be a handful and annoying and a pain in the—”
“What Jinnie is saying, is we wanted to treat you both to a night without responsibilities,” Yerin says.
“You know, like how mom and dad did with us when we were kids.” Jinsol fidgets with her hands. Krystal and Jessica walk towards the pair and hug them both tightly.
“This means so much to us, thank you,” Jessica whispers.
“Tell me you have those pink frosted cookies in there,” Krystal says, moving toward the basket on the ground.
“Yup! And those brownies I love,” Jinsol laughs, and her older sister unpacks the basket hastily.
For a while, the four of them lay on the blankets eating sweets and talking about their days. There are no mentions of royal business and for that, all of the siblings are thankful.
“Remember that time all the spoons went missing?” Jinsol laughs.
“Mom and dad were so annoyed,” Jessica joins in, taking a bite of a cookie. “The kitchen staff had no idea how all the spoons could just vanish.”
“And then we found Yerin in this field making a sculpture out of the spoons,” Krystal holds her stomach as she laughs. “She was surrounded by hundreds of spoons and looked at mom and dad like she was so innocent.”
“Excuse me! I was inspired, you all wanted to stifle my creative genius,” Yerin huffs. “Besides, Jinnie is the one that ruined us having a pool because she wanted a pond for her fish instead.”
“He died anyway,” Jinsol pouts. Jessica pats her sisters back as the other two laugh.
“We’re forgetting the best one,” Krystal wheezes as she tries to get the story out. “Jessica broke the glass wall in the foyer trying to do the flips she saw in Charlie’s Angels.”
“They were badasses! I wanted to be recruited.”
“Not with those moves,” Krystal ducks as Jessica tosses a cookie at her. The pair throw the food back and forth, throwing more lighthearted insults as Yerin and Jinsol watch with cookies in their hands.
The next day, Jessica and Krystal are back on schedule, but they look more rested. That’s all Yerin and Jinsol had been hoping for, and they made sure to thank Sunny for making it all possible. It was a nice reprieve from their usual life. Jessica makes a promise to her sisters that she will try to make more time for them to have off days every once in a while. They all need it.
Later in the day, Jinsol and Jungeun go on a horseback ride on the royal trails. They end up by a river deep in the woods. Jinsol’s guards are on their horses nearby, but remain out of sight. The whole ride over Jungeun had been uncharacteristically quiet. Even now, as they sit on the log side by side, Jungeun hasn’t spoken. Jinsol looks out at the calm river and the rocky shore at the river's edge. She kicks her feet in the dirt and turns to her friend. Sunlight is hitting her eyes melting the dark orbs into pools of honey; Jinsol gets lost for a moment.
“You okay? You’ve been quiet,” Jinsol nudges her friend.
“There’s some family stuff going on,” Jungeun shrugs. Her fingers pick at the bark on the log. She watches as the bark crumbles and falls to the ground.
“Is there anything I can help with?” Jinsol hates to see Jungeun hurting like this. It’s not often the girl is this pensive when they’re together unless something really bothers them. “You know I’d do anything for you.”
“I know,” Jungeun stands and moves toward the river. “Don’t worry about it.” She bends down and picks up a rock. Her arm winds back, and then she tosses it. The rock skips once and the sinks into the water.
“Are you sure?” Jinsol watches her friend carefully.
Jungeun picks up another rock, turning it over in her hand a few times. “I’m sure, I can figure it out.”
“Okay. I’m always here for you.” Jinsol watches as Jungeun throws the rock. It skips once, twice, and then sinks into the water.
“You have terrible form,” Jinsol teases and approaches Jungeun and holds her arm gently. She guides her through it, body pressed against Jungeun’s back. The rock skips four times before sinking. “Like that.”
Jungeun turns and looks at Jinsol. The tension between them crackles. Jinsol lets out a small gasp at the realization of how close they are. Her heartbeats rapidly in her chest and she is positive Jungeun can feel it against her back. She watches Jungeun’s eyes flicker to her lips and back to her eyes. Jinsol can’t help but lick her lips.
“Princess, it’s getting dark,” her guard, Taehyung, says.
The tension shatters and the two women back away from each other.
“Right, I guess we should head back.” Jinsol clears her throat. “Thank you.” Taehyung bows and turns back to his horse. Jinsol and Jungeun glance at each other, their cheeks painted red. The moment was so fleeting, that if it wasn’t for the shaking hands and the thundering of their hearts, they would have thought they imagined it.
Yerin disappears early in the day to go volunteer at the orphanage. She’s been spending her time there helping out wherever she can. Yerin’s aware how privileged she is, especially growing up in a palace surrounded by loved ones. Her parents may not have been as present in their lives as time went one, but at least she had them.
Every week, Yerin goes to the Clara Children’s Home. The building started as an orphanage many years ago for those children whose parents had died. As time has gone by, it’s become a foster home of sorts as well.
Clara Children’s Home sits near the center of the city. Yerin’s driver brings her down to the front door of the expansive house with a promise to pick her up in two hours; their usual routine. Yerin’s guard, Johnny, is already waiting outside the car. The moment Yerin steps out of the car, a small body collides with hers, little hands wrapping around her leg.
“Princess!” The little girl in pigtails lets go and shows off her gapped smile.
“Hi, Yeji,” Yerin reaches down and grabs the girls hand. “Where are the others?”
“They’re in the backyard.” Yeji pouts. “No one wanted to wait with me up here.”
“Well, that’s not very nice,” Yerin starts walking toward the gate to the backyard.
Vines creep up the sides of the big brick building, slowly crawling around the posts of the fencing. Yeji let’s go of Yerin’s hand to run and open the gate. When they round the back corner of the building, Yerin is greeted by the cheering of the children on the lawn. A small game of soccer is happening between the younger kids.
“They wanted to play, but I’m not very good,” Yeji shrugs. “So, I waited for you instead!”
“The Princess is here!” Another kid yells out. The soccer game comes to a halt as the kids come rushing toward her at once. Johnny chuckles behind her as the kids vie for her attention.
“Princess Yerin, look! I lost my front tooth!” Kangmin shows the hole where his tooth once was.
“I scored three goals today!” Sohee shouts over the noise with a proud grin.
“That’s nothing, I scored five!” Lena gloats while Sohee sticks her tongue out.
Yerin listens with rapt attention to each child. Her heart warms every time she comes down to the Children’s Home. They are always so full of life and happy to share their stories with the Princess. Eventually, when the hype dies down, the children go back to the soccer game. Yeji joins in this time, leaving the princess behind with a wave.
Yerin takes the chance to go inside and find Director Kang Seulgi. The woman is in charge of keeping the Children’s home up and running, though she’s often left looking after the children on her own. There are plenty of other people and nobles that come and volunteer their time and occasionally, her son, Yeosang, comes to lend a hand. But, still, the pressure falls on Director Seulgi.
Yerin knocks on the director’s office door. Seulgi beckons her in. “Ah, your highness,” Director Seulgi leans down into a curtsy, “it’s lovely to see you. I hope the children didn’t give you too much trouble.”
“No, they never do,” Yerin laughs. “I have a shipment of supplies coming for you tomorrow. Food, clothing, and I believe there’s some toys as well.”
“Thank you, Your Highness. Your kindness is appreciated,” Seulgi smiles.
Yerin nods and looks around the office. She steps up to the pictures hanging on the wall, each one a different group photo of the children throughout the years. Some faces stayed the same throughout the photos while others gradually disappeared. There’s one face that stands out to her the most.
“Jungeun?” Yerin’ jaw drops in shock.
Director Seulgi approaches the Princess.
“Kim Jungeun, yes, I believe she’s good friends with Princess Jinsol.”
“She is. I—We had no idea she was adopted from this Children’s Home,” Yerin looks to Seulgi.
“Lady Jungeun stayed here for a few years before Duchess Sowon and Duchess Eunha adopted her,” Seulgi says. “Her parents left her here when she was only five. It was quite sad to witness. The poor child had a difficult time adjusting. But, I’m sure she’s told you these things. I’m happy to see she is living well. Many of these children dream of a fairytale such as the one Lady Jungeun has.”
“Of course,” Yerin nods. “If there is anything else you need, please, don’t hesitate to reach out, Director.” After bidding Seulgi farewell, Yerin goes back out to the yard where the children are playing. She joins in their soccer game, though she is far worse than anyone could have imagined. She catches Yeji giggling at her as the other children steal the ball from her again and again.
Back at the palace, Jessica sits at her desk with her head in her hands. Sunny and Krystal glance at each other then rush to the Queen’s side. Around Jessica are stacks and stacks of papers and files. Her computer screen is open with several tabs and documents covering the screen in a messy array.
“Jessica…” Krystal tries to draw her sister’s attention. “Hey, is everything alright?”
“Does everything look alright?” Jessica jerks her head up, hands wildly gesturing at her desk. “Does anything look alright to you?”
“Um, I’m going to go with no,” Krystal says, holding her hands up. “Tell me what’s going on.” Jessica sighs and shakes her head. Krystal looks to Sunny, widening her eyes and looking down at her sister.
“Hey,” Sunny says, pulling Jessica’s attention to her. The Queen turns immediately. “We’ve told you before, you are not in this alone. You can’t shoulder this alone. Let us help you.”
Krystal and Sunny hold their breath. Neither are sure if Jessica will cave and open up to them. But the way the Queen is shifting in her seat, her fingers thrumming on the desk top, shows her restlessness. Krystal hopes her sister will finally share the load of the work with her. They have been a team long before Jessica took the throne, though it appears that Jessica doesn’t seem to want her help anymore.
Jessica waves them away. “Leave, I don’t need anyone’s help.”
“Jessica—”
“I said, leave,” she stands from her desk. The other two women step back, tripping over their feet. Krystal is ready to argue, she doesn’t want her sister to be left to shoulder this burden alone anymore. She is more than capable of helping her, but the Queen does not look ready to listen. Sunny and Krystal bow out of the room, their footsteps receding down the hall.
Jessica sinks back into her chair, head in her hands. Valo is on the verge of a crisis, and she has no idea how to fix it; how to handle it. Heavy is the crown she wears on her head. Heavier is the crown when she wears it alone.
Meanwhile, Jinsol lays on her bed with Jungeun criss-crossed beside her. Music drifts out of her laptop in the empty space beside her. They’re reading silently, comfortable in each other’s company. A loud yell echoes through the corridor followed by the slamming of a door. Jinsol and Jungeun don’t need to investigate to know that it was Jessica who yelled.
It’s been like that for weeks in the palace. The Queen’s temper is shorter, her patience wearing thin, and the bags under her eyes darken more each day. No matter the help any one tries to offer her, Jessica does not take it. She is the Queen, she will take the brunt of all the pressure. Jinsol knows it’s her own fault it’s like this.
“Her Majesty is losing it,” Jungeun says with a short laugh. “I always wondered why she chose to rule alone. The amount of duties she has to balance must be unimaginable.”
Jinsol’s gut twists. She clenches her jaw and keeps her eyes on the pages of her book.
“Don’t you think it was silly of her to not marry? At least for her own mental well-being. I really thought she would marry Lord Taecyeon.” Jungeun nudges Jinsol with her foot. “Jin?”
The blonde finally looks up at her friend, the pain on her face clear as day. Jinsol never spoke about what happened. She never told a soul what she did or how she played the hand that sealed her sister’s fate of ruling alone. Jungeun’s concerned gaze gives Jinsol the chance to talk about this. She’s held this secret for eleven years, maybe it’s time to let it go.
“It’s my fault.” Jinsol eyes flicker around the room, anywhere that’s not Jungeun. “It’s my fault my sister is ruling alone, that she’s falling apart.”
“How?” Jungeun furrows her brows, “it’s not like you got rid of Lord Taecyeon.”
Jinsol casts a quick glance at Jungeun before turning away.
“Unless, you did,” Jungeun tries to catch the princess’s eyes but Jinsol refuses to look at her. Her stomach is in knots, palms sweaty. The princess worries at her lip. Jinsol is scared to speak this outloud, to tell the truth about how Jessica lost not only the love of her life, but the person who would have been her King.
“I—I was only twelve, Jungie,” Jinsol sighs, her gaze fixed on the wall across the room. “I had no idea how Jessica felt about Taecyeon, or even how he felt about her. We were all at a charity event in Hyssop helping them raise money for their children’s home. Queen Kyungri was about to become of age to assume her throne and her father was looking for potential suitors for her.
“I was talking to Princess Hyemi when King Park walked up to check on his daughter.” Jinsol remembers the day so vividly. The large white tent, the champagne fountain, all the precious works of art that were up for auction surrounding them all. Jinsol had felt out of place until Princess Hyemi approached her. They chatted with ease. “Taecyeon appeared beside me and asked where Jessica was. I pointed him in her direction and he disappeared. King Park kept asking me questions about him, like if he is a good man, does he have a level head, how does he treat his peers and his staff. I didn’t know...I just wanted to boast about how great Taecyeon is. He was always like an older brother to me. I—I didn’t know that King Park would invite him to their palace...that Taecyeon would agree to marry Queen Kyungri.”
“You were twelve, Jin, you aren’t expected to have known all that was going to happen.”
“I am a princess. I am supposed to know these things, I am supposed to be more observant that I was,” Jinsol speaks strongly. “Being royalty means interacting with everyone as if you are playing a game of chess. I am supposed to be two steps ahead. That day—I was more than two steps behind, Jungeun.”
“You couldn’t have predicted Taecyeon’s actions.”
“I should have seen King Park’s intentions and answered more appropriately. I should have told Jessica what happened so she could have her chance. I should have done a lot of things.” Jinsol sighs. Her voice turns cold the more she speaks. “It’s my fault Jessica was heartbroken when she took her crown, that she rules alone and is killing herself under all this stress.”
“Do—does anyone else know?”
“No, I’ve never told anyone before. Could you imagine? Jessica would hate me, my family would blame me for her ruin, for the surmounting pressure they each feel because of it.” Jinsol looks Jungeun in the eye for the first time since she started telling this story. “And you can’t tell anybody. I—I would lose them if they found out. Besides you, and Princess Hyunjin, they’re all I have.”
“Your secret’s safe with me,” Jungeun hugs Jinsol, pulling the princess into her arms with careful ease. “Thank you for trusting me.”
Being there in Jungeun’s arms, Jinsol feels safe. All the pain she carried holding that secret in for years almost melts away entirely. She knows that she can’t risk her family finding out without risking losing them. But, sharing that with Jungeun released some of the weight Jinsol has held onto for half her life. At least now she can let part of that weight go.
“Oh, Jungeun, hi,” Krystal says. She had run into the younger girl in the corridor. “What are you doing here? I thought you had to plan your twenty-third birthday party?”
“I—I cancelled it. Have you seen Jinsol, I need to tell her something,” Jungeun peers around the older woman.
“She’s in the music room. She’s been composing something, I’m sure she’d love to—” Jungeun has already run off down the hall leaving a bewildered Krystal behind. “—show you it.” She shakes her head and walks off toward the study where Yerin and Jessica are waiting.
Jinsol stops playing when she hears the door swing open. A breathless Jungeun walks in and takes a seat beside her at the piano. Jinsol doesn’t say anything, just waits for the woman to catch her breath. She goes back to playing while she waits. The tune is slow, yet hopeful. Each note rings out in the room.
“Hi,” Jungeun finally says. Jinsol laughs as her fingers continue to dance across the keys.
“Hello to you, too.”
“I—I missed you.”
“So, you ran all the way here? I’m flattered, Jungie.” Jinsol turns to her friend who’s biting her bottom lip. “Will you play something with me?”
“Oh, sure,” Jungeun watches Jinsol change the sheet music. She reads over the music. Jinsol starts, the notes brighter than the last song she was playing. Jungeun joins in with ease. The pair playing the song in perfect practice as if they have done this a million times before.
Jinsol can feel the heat of Jungeun’s body next to her’s. She can see the smile on her face as her fingers glide across the keys. Rarely does Jungeun play with Jinsol when they’re in here. Jungeun says it’s because she isn’t as good as Jinsol, but they both know that’s a lie. In truth, Jungeun prefers to watch Jinsol play. The ease in which she moves, the grace, the passion that the princess pours into each note is nothing short of amazing. Jungeun is as enamored by Jinsol playing as Jinsol is by her.
They’re barely through the first page of the song when Jinsol stops. Jungeun’s hands hover over the next keys, waiting.
“Jin, what—”
“I love you.” Jinsol says it so quickly, so rushed, the words tangle together into a sound that’s nearly incomprehensible. “I—I’m in love with you, Jungeun. I have been for years.” The room falls silent. Jinsol twists her hands in her lap, head hung low too afraid to look at her. “Jungeun, please, say something…”
Jungeun drops her hands on the keys, a jumble of notes hit their ears harshly. “You have the worst timing.”
“What?” Jinsol whips her head up, glossy eyes staring at Jungeun.
“I’m engaged...to Princess Heejin.” The words hang in the air like mines. One wrong move, one wrong breath, everything they built together will explode. “That’s why I came here. I came to tell you I will move to their palace tomorrow.”
“To—tomorrow?” Jinsol croaks. Jungeun simply nods. The pair gaze at each other, all the words they should have said sooner fizzling out and falling around them. Jungeun, her best friend, her first love, is getting married to someone who isn’t her.
“If you had told me sooner...if you had told me yesterday…”
Jinsol was too late.
They sigh and lean into each other, silent tears falling. It’s a quiet heartbreak, one that doesn’t scream or yell. One that doesn’t make its presence known to the world in an explosion of passion. It’s one that whispers with care, that chisels tiny cracks in the foundation. One that watches as everything crumbles so quickly that it’ll be missed in the blink of an eye.
When Jungeun leaves, Jinsol’s sisters find her still in the music room. She’s whimpering as she plays the piano. Tears dripping off her chin and splashing on to the keys. Krystal and Yerin squeeze on to the bench with her, leaning into her sides. Jessica places a reassuring hand on her shoulder, “I’m sorry Jinsol.”
They don’t need to ask to know what happened. Yerin had seen Jungeun flee the palace in tears. Krystal and Jessica heard of the royal engagement from Sunny. They knew the moment they stepped into the room what happened.
The sisters stay like that, offering comfort the best way they can. Jinsol’s melancholic tune fills the air. Notes slipping through the cracks in her heart. She once thought music could heal her. She’s not so sure anymore.
Two months later, Jinsol is returning from volunteering with Yerin at the Children’s Home when she receives an invitation. Her lady’s maid, Gahyeon, hands her the envelope when she walks through the door. Yerin, ever nosy, makes her read it there so she can see it, too.
“It’s an invitation to the Kim-Wong’s palace for a ball,” Jinsol says.
“I didn't get one,” Yerin pouts.
“It’s an invitation for all of us, dummy.” Jinsol hands her the card. When she lets go another piece of paper falls.
“It’s not just a ball, Jinnie. It’s to announce that Princess Hyunjin is looking to marry,” Yerin points to a line on the card as Jinsol picks up the fallen paper. “It literally says, the presence of eligible suitors is requested. Damn, I’m getting myself a wife!”
“Not so fast,” Jinsol holds the paper up with her name scrawled across it. “Hyunjin wrote to me specifically….she want’s to personally invite me to attend.”Jinsol stares down at the paper in her hand.
You promised you would come back and play, I am holding you to that, Princess.
Hyunjin’s signature sits at the bottom of the page. Jinsol can’t help the soft smile that forms.
“This is twisted, the world wants me to be single forever,” Yerin hands the card back to Jinsol and sulks away.
Hope blooms in Jinsol’s chest.
Notes:
I will be doing my best to update every week on Saturday! Next week you'll be meeting the Jeon family
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
ask me things here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96
Chapter 3: The Jeons
Notes:
Once again, a huge thank you to bayli for editing and m for dealing with my constant blathering about this fic.
Final introduction chapter will be posted next saturday (May 23rd), you'll finally get Jungeun's background story and the whole picture will come together before we start in on the story.
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
ask me things here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Jeons
The Rosea High School marching band parades down the streets of Rosea. Music fills the air, mixing with the loud cheers of the residents. Behind the marching band, the Royal Guard steps in unison, their feet thundering on the pavement. The afternoon light casts shadows along the road. People hang out their windows and balconies as the motorcade goes by. Cheers growing ever louder for their beloved royal family.
Queen Sunmi sits with her family in the open top car. She waves genially to her people, her smile brighter than the sun. In her lap, Princess Somi sits, her chubby hands attempting to mimic her mother’s wave. The crowd coos at the youngest princess; barely four years old and already she has captured the hearts of the people of Statera.
A loud giggle breaks through the cacophony of applause.
King Seokjin sits beside his Queen, their eldest daughter perched on his broad shoulders. Sunmi raises a brow at her husband, who grins in return. Princess Heejin, heiress to the throne, giggles again. One hand gripping her dad’s hair, the other waving rapidly to the crowd. The people laugh at their King’s pained expression as his daughter pulls his hair. The Queen stifles a laugh behind her hand.
It is Statera’s Independence Day parade. Today marks the two hundredth year since Statera seceded from Begonia. It’s a day of celebration in the country, but more especially within the capital city of Rosea. The Royal family always participates in the parade, and the people take delight in seeing them. The Jeon Family have ruled over Statera with a kind hand since their secession from Begonia. Queen Sunmi’s rule is no exception.
The festivities start with the parade and end with the firework show that can be seen across the capital. After the parade, the aristocrats of the Rosea join the royal family at their palace for a picnic.
“Seokjin, please, stop swinging our daughter around like a baseball bat,” Sunmi sighs at her husband. She bounces lightly, young Somi resting on her hip.
“She enjoys it! Isn’t that right, my little princess?” Seokjin looks down at Heejin in his arms. Her grin much like his.
“Again! Spin me again, Daddy!”
“See?” Seokjin arches an eyebrow. Sunmi looks between the pair and shakes her head, switching Somi to the other hip.
“Once more, and then it’s your turn to play with Somi.”
“Yay!” Heejin cheers and holds tightly to her dad as he spins her around. The heiress pouts as she’s set on the ground. “Again.”
Seokjin takes Somi from his wife. “I’m sorry, Heejin, no more for today.”
Heejin turns her pout towards her mother, her bottom lip quivering. Sunmi looks to Seokjin for help but he smirks and walks off, calling over his shoulder, “You brought this upon yourself!”
Sunmi levels with her daughter, “I know you have a lot of fun spinning with Daddy, but what if you and I go spin around the dance floor instead?”
Heejin sniffles, running the back of her hand across her nose. “And then ice cream?”
Sunmi laughs and takes her daughters hand, “yes, and then we can have ice cream and watch the fireworks.” Heejin perks up, showing off a gapped tooth smile, and nods rapidly.
Heejin and her mom spend the evening dancing with the nobles. Eventually, Seokjin and Somi return, joining them on the dance floor. And when the sun disappears beyond the horizon, leaving only the fires blazing on the lawn to light the family’s way toward the lake. The dark night sky illuminates in an explosion of colors.
“Seokjin, I didn’t think you’d be showing your face here,” King Kai says walking up to Seokjin with his daughter in tow.
“What? Were you hoping I wouldn’t be here so you could win?” Seokjin smirks. Heejin ducks behind her dad, her hands gripping his pant leg.
“In all the years I’ve known you, you have never won in an archery competition.” Kai throws his head back laughing, his hand clasping his friend’s shoulder. “It’s good to see you, again.”
“You say that now, but wait until I beat you,” Seokjin grins at his friend.
The pair have known each other for most of their lives. Both of the men grew up in the same circles of nobility. Charity balls, garden parties, coronations, and, most importantly, archery competitions. They were rivals once upon a time, each fighting for the spot at the top. It took an incident involving a stray arrow and a trip to the hospital to solidify their friendship. But the pressure of ruling their countries and raising a family have kept the two friend’s from spending more time together.
“Hi, Your Majesty,” a small voice speaks up from below. Princess Hyunjin is bent in a curtsy, her hair falling in front of her face. When she straightens up, she offers her hand, “my name is Hyunjin.”
Seokjin’s grin softens at the sight. His eye shifts to her friend and back to his daughter. The Statera King kneels in the grass and takes the young princess’s hand. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Your Highness. Has anyone told you that you have your father’s smile?”
“Mommy and Mama Seul say it all the time!” She beams.
Seokjin eyes Kai and mouths, “Mama Seul?” Kai waves him off.
“Have you met my daughter?” Hyunjin shakes her head. Seokjin turns around to get Heejin, who he knows is hiding behind him. Heejin can be terribly shy, often sticking to her father or mother’s side at any event they attend. They do their best to gently push her to be more social—as that is a main component to ruling any country—but they never want to push her too far. “Introduce yourself, honey.”
“Hi,” Heejin waves from behind her dad’s arm. “I’m Heejin.” Her voice is shaky, all the eyes are on her as she speaks. She tucks herself further into her dad’s side.
Hyunjin purses her lips, and tugs on her dad’s sleeve. Kai kneels next to her and offers his ear. Kai nods, a smile growing on his face, “I think that’s a very good idea, Hyunnie. I’ll send Jimin to accompany you.”
Hyunjin nods and reaches out to Heejin. Heejin looks at her dad, eyes wide and pleading. Seokjin glances at Kai, who nods, and gently pulls his daughter’s hands off his arm. “You and Hyunjin are going to go play, alright? Their guard will keep you safe.”
“But—” Heejin goes to grab her dad again, but Hyunjin steps in and takes her hand.
“Don’t worry, if you don’t have fun, we can come back.” Hyunjin gives Heejin a moment to think before pulling her away. Jimin follows the little Princesses closely.
Kai and Seokjin watch them go.
“So….Mama Seul?” Seokjin elbows his friend.
“Haseul loves Hyunjin as much as Vivi and I do,” Kai shrugs.
“Then Hyunjin is lucky to have three great parents.” Seokjin peers at his friend. He doesn’t miss the way the other King’s shoulders tense, or the yellow hues in his eyes. Seokjin noticed the moment Kai appeared that he looked worse for wear; lankier than the last time they saw each other. Anyone who looks at Kai knows. But no one says anything.
Seokjin lays a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder and squeezes.
“I hope they become friends,” Kai says.
“Heejin could use someone to break her out of her shell.”
Kai sighs before grinning at Seokjin. “Ready to lose, Your Majesty?”
“In your dreams, Kai.” The pair of kings take the bows from the attendants and step up to the line.
Across the field, Jimin stands behind the young princesses at the kids archery range. Hyunjin stands at the line, a small bow in her hand, an arrow nocked and ready. Heejin watches in rapt attention as the princess draws the arrow back and releases. The arrow sticks near the center of the target.
“Do you want to try?” Hyunjin asks, but Heejin shakes her head. “My daddy taught me. He said I’m a natural. Not sure what that means, though.”
Hyunjin nocks another arrow and repeats the steps. Another arrow sticks out of the target. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk, but you don’t need to be scared with me.” Heejin smiles softly at the gesture, but remains silent. She’s too enthralled by the fluid motions of Hyunjin with the arrow. She’s watched her dad on the palace grounds practicing. Seokjin never offered to teach her though, he usually sent her to her mom. Heejin doesn’t think she’d like archery anyway. But she enjoys watching the other princess get excited every time the arrow pierces the target.
Hyunjin continues to shoot arrows as she tells Heejin’s stories and makes jokes. Heejin appreciates that Hyunjin doesn’t expect her to talk, or pressure her to. Often, other young nobles and royals make fun of her for being so quiet. It’s not that she doesn't have anything to say, she has plenty on her mind. Like how Hyunjin’s white blouse makes her look like Robin Hood. Or how Jimin isn’t sneaky as he dances to the music behind them. Or how she overheard her Daddy talking about how King Kai is dying. Heejin is sure that even if she did talk she wouldn’t mention that piece. She isn’t too sure about what dying means, but she knows that when her pet rabbit was dying, it never came back.
When Heejin is leaving with her dad, she stops in front of Hyunjin and smiles. “I had fun. Thank you.” Her dad tries to hide his shocked gasp behind a cough.
“It was so good to see you, Seokjin,” Kai hugs his friend tightly.
“You too,” Seokjin whispers. He knows this is a silent goodbye. “Give Vivi and Haseul my love.” Kai nods. Seokjin guides Heejin away and out of the field. Heejin still has a smile on her face as they climb into the towncar waiting for them. Her dad tries to hide the tears in his eyes.
“Somi, well done,” Sunmi nods in approval at her youngest daughter's work. Somi beams at her mother and takes a seat at the table. They’re in the dining room of the palace with the lengthy table covered in dishware, glasses, and utensils. Sunmi is adamant that her daughter’s learn how to set the table for formal dinners. It’s the same way she learned, and she intends for her daughter’s to do the same. “Heejin, you mixed up the salad fork, the dessert fork, and the seafood fork. You also put the glasses in the wrong order.”
“Yeah, Sheejin,” Somi stuck her tongue out. Heejin grounds her teeth at the sound of the nickname. She hates it. She hates even more how she sticks because her name doesn’t follow the pattern of everyone else. It’s just another way Somi enjoys poking fun at Heejin. And Heejin gets riled up over it. “Even an eight-year-old can set the table correctly.”
“Shut up,” Heejin grumbles and ducks her head. “I’m sorry, Mom.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Sunmi says. “Be better.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” Heejin dismantles the place setting and gets to work again.
“Somi, you’re free to go. Your Aunt Sooyoung is coming to dinner tonight, please be presentable.”
“Yes, of course,” Somi walks out of the room. This is how lessons usually went with Somi and Heejin, the youngest princess excelling in all subjects. Two years younger than the heiress, yet further ahead everywhere else. Heejin moves sluggishly as she places the utensils down.
“Remember, we move from the outside in as the meal progresses,” Sunmi instructs standing behind her daughter.
“I remember that,” Heejin grunts. “I—they all look the same to me…” The young girl places the last utensil and turns to her mom.
“The salad fork and dessert fork are switched.”
“Ugh!” Heejin tosses the napkin down on the table. “I’m never going to get this. I’m never going to be a good queen. You should give the crown to Somi.” Sunmi’s heart aches watching her daughter’s frustration grow. Tears brim in the corner of Heejin’s eyes.
“Come here,” Sunmi pulls the chair out next to her and pats the seat. Heejin complies. “Do you want to know something?”
“I guess.” Her daughter’s eyes remain glued on the table, and her feet shuffle on the carpet.
“It took me months to get the place settings right,” Sunmi confides. “I was the same age as you when my mother gave me this exact lesson. Again and again for weeks, I simply could not get the utensils in the correct spot. The plates are easy, right? They go in size order. The glasses are a little tricky, but the utensils…”
“They look the same.”
“At first glance, yes, but,” Sunmi picks up the salad and dessert forks, “they’re different. Look, the salad fork has longer tines,” she pokes the prongs on the fork, “and a short handle. The dessert fork is the opposite. They look similar because they are the same length, but it’s the small details that help you figure out the correct placement.”
“Oh, okay,” Heejin’s brows furrow as she nods.
“It’s all in the details, Heejin, remember that. Not only in setting a table, but in everything you do.” Sunmi smiles at her daughter, brushing her hair out of her face, and placing a kiss on her forehead. “We’ll pick this up tomorrow, I believe your father wants to speak with you.”
“Thank you, Mom.” Heejin bounds out of the dining room. Sunmi stands and places the forks in the correct spot before signaling for the staff to clean it up.
“I appreciate it, thank you,” she smiles at the staff and walks off to her study.
A little while later, Heejin is on the path near the lake at the south side of the property. Seokjin had run into Somi on his way to his study earlier. She was excited to tell her dad about how well the lesson went for her. The youngest Jeon frowned before saying that Heejin was struggling. Seokjin knows his daughters like to tease each other, and he’s certain Somi found a way to rile her older sister up. He had seen Sooyoung and Sunmi go at it for a number of years. While he did congratulate Somi with a hug, he made sure to send word to his wife that he would like to speak with Heejin after her lesson.
The two walk in relative silence until they reach their secret spot in the woods beside the lake. They’re tucked away in relative isolation, hidden by the vast trees and the blooming cherry tree. Summer sun is blocked out by the shade of the tall trees, though the heat waves roll over the ground in the distance. The weeping cherry tree hangs over them, the pink blossoms in bloom around them. Seokjin watches his eldest daughter step toward the lake, her hands in the pocket of her jeans as she looks out at the water.
“You sister told me about today’s lesson,” Seokjin walks up to Heejin. He leans against the tree beside her. Heejin’s shoulders tense.
“I’m sure she was bragging.”
“She seemed concerned. Though, don’t tell her I said that, she would have my head.” Seokjin laughs, though it fizzles out when he notices Heejin is still tense. “What’s on your mind, kiddo?”
“I’m scared,” Heejin admits, refusing to look at her dad. “What if I’m not fit for the throne?”
“What makes you think that?” This is the first time this topic has come up between them and they’ve had walks like these nearly every day for her whole life. He wonders how long she has felt this way, how long this has gone unnoticed.
“I have to try twice as hard as everyone else and it still feels like I’m not...not good enough,” Heejin turns to her dad with tears in her eyes. “The way people look at me...they don’t think I’m worthy of the throne.”
She remembers the hushed whispers as she hid behind her parents growing up. The looks of pity when she would stutter trying to speak up in front of her peers. All her lessons with her sister leave her with a pit in her stomach. She’s not as smart, not as strong, not as level headed as Somi. Heejin may be the heiress to the throne, but it seems like no one else around her believes she is capable of wearing the crown when the day comes. She’s starting to believe it, too.
“Do you really believe you’re not good enough to be the queen one day?” Seokjin crouches in front of her.
She shrugs, “I don’t know. Other people don’t seem to think so.”
“Hmm, well, you can do one of two things, Heejin,” Seokjin says, his eyes never wavering from his daughter’s. “You can ignore what other people say about you and continue to do your best, or you can listen to what they have to say, and let it make you stronger to prove them wrong. Either way, do not let the opinions of others tear you down or tell you what you’re worth. You know who you are and what you’re capable of. Only you can define your worth, Heejin, don’t allow anyone to take away your power.”
Sunmi and Seokjin sit in their shared office going over their travel itinerary. They are expected at the Royal Summit about climate change tomorrow and need to prepare. Sunmi is organizing her notes on the renewable energy speech she is going to be giving. Rosea has been at the helm of the renewable energy initiative in Statera, and she hopes to further the reach at this summit.
“You’ve gone over your notes at least a hundred times,” Seokjin comments from his desk. “The speech is going to be amazing, there’s no need to stress.”
“I know, but if I can persuade more nobles and delegates... imagine all the people we can help. Imagine the good it’ll do in the long run.” Sunmi goes back to the beginning of her notes and practices the speech again.
“Hey, Jiwoo told me you wanted to talk to me?” Heejin peers into the office. Sunmi waves her daughter in with a smile. “What’s up?”
“As you know we have that summit we have to attend,” Sunmi starts and gestures to Seokjin. He appears next to her with a box in his hand. “We’re going to miss your birthday.”
“Oh, that’s okay,” Heejin shrugs, though a pang of hurt blossoms in her chest. “I understand, you have a duty you have to fulfill.”
“We do, but we are terribly sorry we’re going to miss your birthday,” Seokjin hands his wife the box and places a kiss on Heejin’s head.
“This has been a tradition in our family for hundreds of years,” Sunmi says, offering her daughter the box. Heejin pulls the jewelry out of the box, a rose-gold necklace with a delicate stemmed rose connecting the chain. The rose has all thorns coming off the stem. “A rose themed present is given to the heir or heiress to the throne. Having this necklace means you are the next in line, it is a sign of a King or Queen to be. To rule is the greatest honor, Heejin. The rose is a reminder: be delicate, but sharp.”
Heejin nods firmly holding the jewelry in her hands. “It’s the same one you wear.”
“My parents gave me mine when I turned fourteen, and I’m doing the same for you,” Sunmi smiles at her daughter's awestruck face. Seokjin places a hand on his wife’s shoulder, she lays her own overtop his.
“I love it,” Heejin stands and hugs both her parents. “Thank you.” After her dad clasps it on her, she smiles one more time. “I’m going to miss you both, but what you’re going to do is important. I know you are going to do well, Mom.”
“Thank you, Sheejin.” Sunmi grins as Seokjin chuckles.
“When will you stop calling me that?” Heejin rolls her eyes with a groan.
“When you get a new name,” Seokjin shrugs, his grin matching his wife’s.
“You picked my name!” Heejin huffs. “Whatever, I love you, I’m going to spar with Somi and Sooyoung.”
“We love you, too,” Seokjin calls after her retreating form.
Heejin makes her way through the palace, one hand fiddling with her necklace, the other shoved in her pocket. The necklace carries a lot of meaning, a lot of weight. A sign that she will be queen, that her parents believe in her ability to rule. It is an honor. Yet, somehow, it feels hollow. Maybe it has to do with the timing. The gift comes when her parents are leaving her and missing her birthday, one that holds enough significance to warrant such a present. It’s almost like an apology present rather than a present that means something.
Heejin tries to shake it off. Tries to brush off the idea that her parents only gave this to her to make up for missing her birthday and not because they actually believe in her. But she shouldn’t let that deter her from believing in herself.
Her fingers run over the rose one more time before she steps into the sparring room where Sooyoung and Somi wait. She touches the curve of the stem and the dulled points of the thorns. Be delicate, be sharp.
“There she is,” Sooyoung tosses Heejin headgear. “Get your gear on, let’s see how much you two learned since the last time I was here.” Their mom’s sister, Sooyoung, comes by every no and again. Usually for dinners, but she occasionally stays a while to spend time with her nieces. There’s only a handful of years between Heejin and Sooyoung, though the older girl holds herself as if she has as many years of experience as Sunmi.
Heejin often finds Sooyoung in the sparring room or out in the gardens with Jiwoo. The pair are cozy, that much everyone in the palace knows. Jiwoo is the assistant to the royal adviser, Yunho. He has a handle on most tasks for the King and Queen that he usually delegates the Princesses affairs to her. Which is fine on most days, but when Sooyoung is at the palace it usually means Jiwoo tells Heejin and Somi their schedules and disappears with their Aunt.
She briefly wonders if Jiwoo is aware Sooyoung is here today. Heejin shakes her head. She’s sure once Jiwoo finds out she’ll appear.
Once all her gear is on, she approaches the mat. Somi stands opposite of her with matching gear on. She smirks at her sister, “ready to taste the mat again?”
“If I recall, you ate more mat than I did last week,” Heejin cocks her head to the side. Sooyoung looks between the siblings as she approaches them.
“I’m not teaching you guys MMA for you to beat the shit out of each other,” Sooyoung gives them both pointed looks. “It’s for fun, exercise, and in case you guys are ever in danger. With that said, light blows only, and if the other calls time, you honor it. Touch gloves when you’re ready.”
Somi grins, “this will be fun.” She puts her mouthguard in and Heejin does the same. The sister’s touch gloves and begin to circle each other. They are light on their feet as they move around each other waiting for the other to make the move. Heejin goes in first, throwing a quick jab at Somi. It barely lands. Somi smacks the hand away, and with her dominant hand throws a hook. Heejin is knocked on the side of the head and stumbles back. Somi takes the advantage and moves toward her, setting loose a series of jabs.
Heejin puts her arms up, elbows tucked tight to block the punches. She throws her leg out straight, foot connecting with her sister's chest guard, sending the younger Jeon pedaling backwards. Heejin takes a moment to get back in control.
Her and Somi continue to circle each other again. This time Somi throws the first jab. Heejin blocks it and counters with a cross, landing a blow to Somi’s shoulder. She takes the momentum and kicks her leg out, her shin coming in light contact with the back of Somi’s thigh. Somi rushes Heejin and slams her shoulder into the chest guard, trying to use the angle to try to throw her sister to the ground.
There’s no give. Heejin lets her sister move away without retaliating. They touch gloves again before backing away.
“You could have taken me down,” Somi mutters through her mouth guard as they circle each other. “You’re too weak to take your advantages.”
“We’re just sparring.” Heejin has her hands up, elbows tucked, bracing for the next attack. Both girls are panting.
“Even in sparring, you’re weak, what does that say about how you’ll rule Statera?” Somi throws an uppercut. It’s not full force, and doesn’t knock Heejin back too badly. Somi takes the lead and corners Heejin. A quick fire of jabs and a hook leave Heejin worse for wear. She utilizes the small space and brings her elbow around, making contact with Somi’s face. The younger girl steps back, blocking again. “You’re easily cornered. Easy to give up. I don’t know why mom and dad don’t just give me the crown.”
The words wash over Heejin in a wave of her own self-doubt confirmed by her sister. She sees red. Heejin lashes out, a flurry of poorly timed jabs and kicks. Somi grabs her sister's leg as it comes toward her chest. She uses her other foot to knock out Heejin’s other leg, and the two girls tumble to the mat.
Heejin spits out her mouth guard, “get off me.” She shoves Somi to the side.
“You’re sloppy when you’re angry,” Somi says as she stands up. Sooyoung comes over to the sister’s and claps.
“That was a great sparring match, you two,” Sooyoung turns to Heejin. “You’re sister’s right, though. You need to keep calm. You cannot let your opponent know all your cards, Heejin. Both on the sparring mat, and on the floor in front of the parliament. It would do you some good to practice emotional stability.”
“Whatever,” Heejin huffs, ripping the headgear off.
“Great job again today, you’ve both really improved,” Sooyoung pats her nieces on the back. Behind them she sees Jiwoo appear with a bright smile. “Go get something to eat, I’m sure you’re starving.” Sooyoung pushes her nieces toward the door.
Heejin and Somi share a look.
“Have fun with your girlfriend, Aunt Sooyoung,” Somi waves with a smirk and her and Heejin disappear to the kitchen. Jiwoo enters the sparring room and greets Sooyoung with a hug.
“Did you have fun watching them beat each other up?” Jiwoo laughs.
“It got pretty intense during the end, but it was fun. Reminds me of when I used to spar,” Sooyoung holds tight to Jiwoo before letting go. She admires the younger woman, whose smile is so bright. She had once found her endless optimism annoying, but now it feels like a breath of fresh air. Especially with the surmounting pressure she has been receiving to perform more royal duties as Princess. When Jiwoo is around, that’s the last thing on her mind.
“Have you sparred since you left for college?” Jiwoo asks. The younger girl walks around the room, fingers running along the equipment. Sooyoung gazes at her as she thinks.
“No, I don’t think so.” Sooyoung shrugs. “It’s kind of odd, you know? I’m nearly two decades younger than Sunmi, it’s more like she’s my mom than my sister. I mean, I was an accident. My mom was much younger than my dad, I’m still not sure how they even conceived me to begin with. By the time I was born, Sunmi was almost eighteen.”
“You two get along well, though.”
“She takes care of me, and I appreciate it. We have fun times, more so now that I’m older,” Sooyoung smiles at Jiwoo. “Don’t think this is some tragic backstory, okay? I love my family, and my life. I don’t have to rule a country, I have no kids to look after. And maybe I can spar with the pretty royal adviser’s assistant?”
Jiwoo’s laugh is music to Sooyoung’s ears. “Alright, Your Highness, but you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”
The pair put the equipment on and circle up.
“We’ll see about that,” Sooyoung grins around her mouthguard.
She’s on the floor in a matter of seconds with Jiwoo smirking from above her.
“Did I forget to mention I’m a blackbelt?”
Sooyoung can’t help the deep belly laugh that erupts from her. “Just help me up will you, I think you rattled my brain loose.”
Down in the kitchen, Somi and Heejin sit at the table. The chef’s had made them burgers and fries, quickly leaving after seeing the red marks on the girls faces from their headgear. Most staff know to go the other way after the sisters have been sparring.
“I’m sorry for what I said,” Somi finally says after she finishes her food.
“Don’t be, you made some points, I need to be stronger,” Heejin sets her fry down. “It hurt, but you weren’t wrong. Somi.” Somi can hear the hurt lacing her sister’s voice. Heejin is always trying to hide her emotions, and while in some cases that is beneficial, it isn’t right now.
“I hurt your feelings. I let my competitiveness get the best of me,” Somi reaches over and grabs her sister's hand. “I’m sorry, you’re so strong, please don’t think otherwise.”
“God, you’re even more kind than I am,” Heejin drops her head in her hands. “I have no idea how I’m supposed to be Queen. You’re already so much better than I am.”
“I don’t have the pressure to have to be perfect, Heejin. You do. That throne has your name on it. Start acting like it.” Somi looks at her sister seriously. “You are going to be a great Queen. I know you are. You always want to do better, you want to grow and learn. Stop second guessing yourself and start trusting yourself, dummy.”
Heejin lets out a small huff, a hidden laugh. “Okay, but I’m taking you down in sparring tomorrow. No head games.”
“Deal.” The sister’s shake on it. “But we both know I’m going to win.”
The Jungs finish their Valon Waltz at the Spring Solstice Ball to a round of polite applause. Heejin is on the side with Somi, watching as the pairs bow to each other. She wonders why her family doesn’t have a special ball that includes a dance to honors those who turned sixteen. She would have loved to be a part of that in two years; the only issue being every potential partner she could have thinks she can’t dance.
Heejin sees Princess Jinsol excuse herself from her dance partner and walk across the ballroom. Jinsol launches herself onto the young woman who Heejin realizes is Princess Hyunjin. She hasn’t seen her around at events often. Not since King Kai died.
Heejin remembers how kind and friendly Hyunjin had been when they were younger. Though the pair have not seen each other often since, Heejin wants to go say hello. “I’ll be back, Somi. Go dance with Lady Doyeon or something.”
“Maybe I will since you won’t be around to steal her from me again,” Somi pokes her sister’s side in jest and leaves. She wanders through the crowd of people in search of Doyeon, who she finds hiding away by the kitchen door. “My Lady, are you really staked out at the doors for finger foods?”
“Your Highness,” Doyeon says, curtsying. “I’m hungry. I have no other excuse.” Somi bites her lips to hide her laugh.
“If I asked you to dance, would you say no?” Somi holds her hand out.
“I don’t know,” Doyeon eyes the princess up and down, a smirk growing. “Why don’t you ask me.”
“Oh, uh,” Somi stutters, caught off guard. “Lady Doyeon, will you dance with me?” Doyeon makes the young princess sweat it out before nodding.
“I suppose I can do that.” She takes Somi’s hand and leads her out to the middle of the ballroom.
Across the room, Heejin has approached Hyunjin and Jinsol who are talking animatedly. Heejin bends in a shallow curtsy, “Princess Hyunjin, Princess Jinsol, how are you?”
“Great! Did you see how well I danced?” Jinsol speaks up quickly.
“You and your partner were very graceful,” Heejin notes. “And blonde suits you.”
Jinsol smiles. “Thank you, Heejin.” A soft cough brings their attention to a silver haired woman behind Jinsol. “Oh, Lady Yoohyeon, hello.”
“Your Highness, I was wondering if I may steal you away for a dance.” The young woman’s eyes are bright, kind, though her smile feels forced as she looks upon the other two princesses.
“Of course,” Jinsol turns back to her friend’s, “if you’ll excuse me.” And with that the Jung Princess is whisked off to the dance floor leaving Hyunjin and Heejin alone. It’s like she’s transported back in time when she simply sat and watched Hyunjin doing archery. She’s at a loss for words.
“Hyunjin, it’s so nice to see you again,” Heejin opts for. It’s a safe statement, one that can be taken in many ways as the two princesses frequent similar circles and events. She has seen her in passing, in interviews and speeches, but nothing compares to the beauty of the princess in person. Her hair tied in a neatly braided updo, tiara nestled in the dark locks, and that soft smile of hers rests upon her lips. Heejin could never forget that disarming smile; it settles all the nervousness she feels in an instant.
“My apologies, I don’t remember meeting you,” Hyunjin flushes. “Of course, I know of you, but…”
“Ah, yes, we met when we were younger,” Heejin supplies, though there doesn’t seem to be any spark of recollection. Heejin is hesitant to bring up the memory, unsure of how Hyunjin may take being suddenly ambushed by the memory of her father. “My dad is King Seokjin.”
“Oh.” The word is barely a whisper out of Hyunjin’s mouth. “Right, it’s nice to see you again, Heejin. I, uh, I have to go find my mother. Excuse me.” Hyunjin scampers off leaving Heejin alone in the ballroom.
This is why she doesn’t talk to people.
She takes a deep breath and begins making her rounds in the ballroom, something her Mom and Dad have made her do for several years now. It was their way of helping her break out of her shell. The more she speaks to people, the less she cares about what they’re even talking about. It’s always surface level.
“How’s your family?”
“I heard your dog passed away, I’m so very sorry for your loss.”
“Yes, Fiore is lovely this time of year, the flowers really begin to bloom. I haven’t been in a while…”
“Of course, the economy could not handle a substantial blow like that.”
“Queen Sunmi’s speech on renewable energy was really inspiring, I do hope you’ll implement it in your country.”
Round and round Heejin goes. Greeting. Schmoozing. Shaking hands and kissing ass. Heejin sees Somi dancing with Doyeon. She sees Jinsol locked in a tight embrace with Lady Yoohyeon on the dance floor. She sees other nobles mingling care free while she goes in circles. She’s used to it. She hates it, but she’s used to it. Her parents shoot her dazzling smiles from across the ballroom. A sense of pride wells up within her.
She goes around and around again until she’s spent.
Heejin needs one minute to collect herself and then she will dance the night away with some unassuming noble who she’ll never contact again. That’s how it always goes.
The princess steps out to the courtyard that is off the ballroom. The glassdoors are wide open letting the music spill into the night. Heejin’s heels click against the flagstone patio of the courtyard. In the center, a fountain flows, water glowing in the dark. Flowers bloom all around. And in the corner, Heejin sees the young woman Jinsol had danced with earlier in the evening. She’s hunched over on a bench, her chin resting on her propped up hand. Heejin can see the pain on the young woman’s face as her eyes drift toward the ballroom.
Heejin approaches her, “Are you okay?” The woman looks up at her, eyes widen a moment, before she shakes her head.
“No, not really, Your Highness.” Heejin knows the tone well enough not to push the topic. She glances at the ballroom and back at the young woman.
“Let me take your mind off it, then.” Heejin holds her hand out to her. “I’ve been told I’m an excellent dancer, Lady…”
“Jungeun,” the woman supplies. “And, no offense, Your Highness, but everyone knows you have two left feet.”
A laugh bubbles out of her mouth. Jungeun smiles. Heejin thinks she could stand to be around more people like Jungeun. “That’s what I want you all to think. Let me prove all the rumors wrong.”
Jungeun takes hold of Heejin’s hand and let’s the princess guide her into the ballroom. Off to the side of the dance floor, Heejin sees Jinsol with Lady Yoohyeon still. Jungeun’s hand tightens her hold on Heejin. It doesn’t take her more than a second to piece it together.
Heejin spins Jungeun around, putting her back to Jinsol. As the music shifts into a new song, Heejin takes the first step forward, Jungeun following her lead. It’s easy. Smooth. Graceful in a way that Heejin has never danced with another before. Maybe because she usually dances with men who think they have to teach her. But not with Jungeun. Jungeun trusts her.
The two continue to move effortlessly about the dance floor. Halfway through the first song, Heejin pulls Jungeun closer and whispers in her ear. “Do you see that tall guy over there? Purple sash, big dimples.”
“Yes, what about him?”
“That’s Lord Soobin, he will only eat green candy. He throws the rest of it out,” Heejin feigns a gasp. “Scandalous, right?”
Jungeun’s head falls back as she laughs, hair flowing behind as Heejin spins them around. The Princess doesn’t miss the longing gaze that Jinsol sends toward Jungeun.
“And have you heard about Lady Tiffany?”
“No, what about her?” Jungeun has a brilliant toothy smile, her face is flushed from laughter. Heejin is glad to see her in better spirits.
“She has to enter every room walking backwards,” Heejin widens her eyes comically. “Watch.” She gestures with her head towards Lady Tiffany, who is in fact, walking backwards through the glass doors to the courtyard.
“Oh, my god, I thought you were making these up,” Jungeun gapes.
“I wish I was,” Heejin chuckles. “They have the oddest habits and stories.” Jungeun shakes her head and turns her attention back on Heejin.
The third song starts and Jungeun finally notes how beautifully the young princess dances. “You’re obviously not a bad dancer,” Jungeun points out.
“I did prove the rumor wrong, then. That’s good,” Heejin smiles.
“You did.” Jungeun flexes her fingers on Heejin’s shoulder. “Where’d that rumor come from anyway?”
“Ah, you see,” Heejin’s cheeks turn bright red. She hates that this is a reputation she has now. She’s not a bad dancer, not in the slightest. But with everyone thinking it’s true, it makes it difficult to maintain an air of dignity at events such as these. Heejin hopes this night can put forth a new narrative. “Well, you see, my family was invited to a ball at one of the Duke’s estates in Rosea. I was dancing with his son, Lord Jongho, when I lost my footing and tumbled into a caterer.”
“That’s not so bad—”
“It gets worse.” Heejin spins Jungeun out and back into her arms.
“Are you trying to make up for the rumors by showing off?” Jungeun raises a brow.
“Yes.” Heejin smiles. “Anyway, the caterer was holding a tray of alcohol, which fell onto an open flame and proceeded to set the curtain of fire.”
Jungeun’s laugh is loud, rising well over the lul in the music. Eyes fall on them. Jungeun hides her face in Heejin’s neck to avoid their gazes. The Princess apologizes and continues to move them around until people stop staring at them.
“It turned out to be my little sister’s fault,” Heejin says and Jungeun lifts her head up. “Somi has this big crush on Lady Doyeon, and she saw me dancing with her at the ball. It was only to be polite. But Somi got mad and tripped me, which is how I lost my footing and almost burned the Duke’s house down.”
“Not only do you have two left feet, but you’re also a fire hazard.”
“You can imagine my embarrassment,” Heejin looks away, eyes landing on the approaching blonde. “May I get your number before you leave?” Heejin boldly asks.
“Your Highness?” Jungeun narrows her eyes.
“I—It’s so rare for me to meet someone who I can speak with easily,” Heejin rushes to say before Jinsol steals Jungeun away. “And I—I’ve enjoyed my time with you. I would love to be friends, Lady Jungeun.”
Jungeun’s eyes sparkle as she smiles, “Of course, I’ll find you before I leave.”
“May I steal her away, Heejin?” Jinsol asks. Heejin nods and bends to Jungeun.
“I had a lovely time with you, My Lady,” Heejin smiles. “I do hope to see you again.”
“You will,” Jungeun squeezes Heejin’s hand softly before she is spun away.
Heejin is sixteen when her parents die. News of the plane crash travels fast throughout the country and the world. Queen Sunmi and King Seokjin were only on a quick trip to Hyssop for a vacation. They were only going to be gone for the weekend, a quick retreat to relax. Heejin and Somi have been anxiously awaiting their arrival when they receive the news from Sooyoung and Jiwoo.
Somi collapses into the arms of their aunt and sobs.
Heejin doesn’t feel anything. She stands and walks out of the foyer where they had been waiting. She ignores them calling her name. Heejin walks to her room and falls into bed. She doesn’t sleep, doesn’t cry. She lays, staring at the white wall, as the realities of her parents deaths come crashing down around her.
She can’t assume the throne. She isn’t old enough to do it, isn’t old enough to marry. Which means the next in line is Sooyoung. Heejin doesn’t know what that means for her own crown.
Her parents are gone. They aren’t going to magically appear and let her have the next five years to blissfully figure out how to rule a country. She isn’t going to wake up and have breakfast with her parents again. She’s not going to get etiquette lessons from her mom or have long talks with her dad by the lake. No more dance offs on the patio or sparring for fun with her dad. None of that. In the blink of an eye, the entire life Heejin has grown so used to vanishes.
When the news reaches Jungeun, she calls Heejin immediately. The princess answers the phone in silence. Jungeun doesn’t say anything either, letting her sit with the presence of someone who isn’t going to push her to feel, to listen. Not until she’s ready. It takes nearly half an hour before Heejin speaks.
“They’re gone,” Heejin says, voice cold and detached. “It doesn’t feel real, Eun.”
“I know,” Jungeun whispers.
“I want to make them proud. I’m going to prove that I can still be Queen.” Heejin doesn’t realize tears have sprung in the corner of her eyes, falling as silently as her heartbreak.
“You will, but you are allowed to grieve, Heej.” Silence fills the space between them. And where silence once made Heejin anxious, this silence calms her. No expectations. She can just be.
“Will you stay on the line with me?” Heejin looks around her empty room, feels the emptiness of the palace. She swallows the lump in her throat, voice weak, “I don’t want to be alone.”
“Sure, I’ll be here.” Jungeun stays on the line with Heejin, neither speaking a word. The storm inside her rages so quietly it’s easy to miss. Heejin falls asleep to the sound of Jungeun’s breathing.
While her storm is faint, Somi’s is tumultuous.
While Heejin feels nothing, Somi feels everything.
Her anger swells with each passing day as Heejin buries her nose in books and lectures. Somi watches her sister in disdain, wondering how she could be this calm in the face of all they have lost. She spars against the guards. Fights the punching bags and dummies in the room. She thunders through the palace on a warpath that doesn’t seem to have an end.
No amount of energy she expels makes the pain disperse, makes the anger lessen. No injury she sustains makes her back down. It’s as if every nerve ending is lit on fire and all she can do is keep moving.
Jiwoo has taken on the role of sparring partner as Sooyoung’s duties as Queen take up too much of her time. Somi comes into their lesson with steam rolling off her body. She has a permanent scowl on her face. The staff run in the other direction when they see her. Her anger has no bounds, no limits. To stand in her way is to end up burned.
Her once calculated moves in sparring are sloppy. Filled with rage. Jiwoo sees each move a mile off, blocking and countering with ease. Somi’s wrath flares, jabs coming quicker, legs shooting out to cause damage instead of the light blows of practice.
Jiwoo frowns at the young girl's obvious pain, at her sadness and loneliness masked by such anger. Jiwoo doesn’t know loss, but she knows anger. She knows sadness and pain. And she knows to what end she went to make it all go away; to hide it away.
In a quick movement, Jiwoo knocks Somi’s legs out from under her. The princess’s back hits the mat with an audible thud, leaving a winded Somi staring up in surprise. Jiwoo, for a moment, thinks she will lash out at her, but the young girl begins to sob. The sudden change in demeanor leaves Jiwoo frozen, blinking rapidly trying to catch up to the situation. She sits and pulls the princess into her arms.
“I hate that they’re gone,” Somi wheezes between sobs. “I’m so angry! They were supposed to come back. It’s not fair.”
“It isn’t fair,” Jiwoo whispers, her fingers undoing the headgear on Somi and herself. The two pieces of equipment fall to the floor.
“No matter what I do I—I’m still angry. I can’t make any of it go away,” Somi looks up to Jiwoo with pleading eyes. As if Jiwoo has all the answers. “Why won’t it go away?”
“Stop pushing it away,” Jiwoo offers. “It doesn’t make you weak to feel things. ”
There’s a flicker of anger in Somi’s eyes but it fades just as quickly as it appeared. She crumbles into Jiwoo’s arms.
“Okay,” Somi says, her voice small and childlike. In seconds, all that Somi has held inside rushing out of her. She clings to Jiwoo as she cries. Jiwoo can do nothing but hold her and try her best to reassure the young girl she will be okay. No one knows that for sure. But Jiwoo promises to be there for her the best she can.
Jiwoo carries a sleeping Somi to her room, tucking her in before retreating from the room. Her feet carry her to the study where she knows she’ll find Sooyoung. It’s only been a week since the King and Queen passed. Only a week, and Sooyoung has held a funeral, been crowned as the Queen Regent, and become legal guardian of her nieces. In a singular breath, she is in charge of a country and two teenagers, and she’s only twenty-one.
“Sooyoungie,” Jiwoo says tentatively as she walks up to the woman. She puts her hand on her arm, grabbing her attention. Sooyoung turns around with tears streaming down her face. “Oh, Sooyoung…”
Sooyoung falls into her friend’s awaiting arms, buries her head in her chest, and lets herself cry. She hasn’t slept more than a few hours each night. Tossing and turning with the weight of the crown on her head. Sooyoung had been so young when Sunmi took the throne, no one cared to give her proper lessons. Everyone believed that by the time Sooyoung could take the throne, Sunmi would have kids of her own; heirs to the Jeon throne. And she did. Does. But Sunmi died too soon, leaving Sooyoung as the Queen.
Parliament agreed to her terms that she would serve as Queen Regent. She would hold the title only until Heejin could assume the throne. It hadn’t been a hard task for her to convince them, most of those who hold seats knew Sooyoung growing up, knew that she was never intended to take the crown.
Now, here she is, Queen of Statera. Guardian of the two princesses; one of which is the rightful heir to the throne. Sooyoung is alone. Her parents are gone. Her sister is gone. And the future of their country is in her hands, in more ways than one.
Jiwoo smooths a hand over Sooyoung’s hair, gently whispering reassurances in her ear. Sooyoung’s sobs get louder with each word. The only words that break through the sound are the ones that have been rattling around her head for days.
“I never wanted to be queen.”
Heejin’s twenty-first birthday is around the corner. She’s been counting down the days for the past five years waiting for the day she’s legally eligible to marry and assume the throne. She has been spending all her time reading up on all the laws of Statera. She familiarizes herself with all the nobility in her country, and out of the country. Heejin knows how to properly set a table for any event. How to ride side-saddle for her coronation ceremony. She has learned everything that was left in the lesson book her parents made.
She is ready to take the throne.
All she needs is a partner to marry.
Which would be easy if she didn’t loathe every potential suitor that she has come in contact with. But, unfortunately, law states that she cannot officially pursue a suitor until after her twenty-first birthday. For now, she waits.
“Hey, Sooyoung,” Heejin steps in front of her aunt who’s seated at the patio table, “can I talk to you for a second?”
“Sure, kiddo, take a seat.” Sooyoung gestures to the empty chair. She’s done her best the last five years to keep the country stable and in good shape to hand off to Heejin. It hasn’t been easy, the beginning was horrendous, but she got the hang of it. Honestly, she wasn’t sure if she was going to make it out of the throne alive. But Jiwoo has been a tremendous help. The young woman took over the position as royal adviser to the Queen. Which meant that the two spent a lot of time together. A lot of nights going over documents and stressing over ceremonies and the rise and fall of the economy. A few of those nights led to near misses, led to them nose to nose, the tension rising between them so quickly it was impossible to evade.
But they did.
Sooyoung isn’t sure how she has spent this many years in love with Jiwoo without succumbing to her desires. Her eyes drift toward Jiwoo who is walking towards the stables with Somi. As if feeling her gaze, Jiwoo turns and waves to her. Sooyoung can’t help the warmth that spreads through her.
“Um, Sooyoung?” Heejin waves her hand in her face. Sooyoung blinks and looks at her niece. “Hi, yeah, welcome back.”
Sooyoung clears her throat, “what’s up?”
“You know my birthday is coming up.”
“Yes, you can finally take this insipid crown away from me,” Sooyoung slouches further in her seat.
“Right, well, I—I wanted to know if you have any advice...for being Queen,” Heejin casts her eyes downward, fiddling with the hem of her dress. “I’m scared, and I’m hoping you can tell me a bit about what to expect.”
“Heejin,” her aunt calls to her, “look at me.”
“Sorry,” Heejin mumbles. She has been preparing her whole life for this moment. She has watched her parents flourish in their roles. Watched her Aunt grow into the position she never wanted to have. She poured over books, notes, lectures, anything she could get her hands on. But now that it’s staring her in the face, she feels ready to run. “This is all I’ve known, this is all I want...I just want to be ready.”
“You’ll never be ready,” Sooyoung says seriously. “And I don’t mean that as you are not good enough, you are more than good enough to take the throne. But, you will never be ready for what is in store when you do become queen. There’s no manual, no ‘How to Rule a Country 101.’ That doesn’t exist. What I can tell you is that you need to be quick, adaptable. You need to be able to read the room in a split second and change tactics to appeal to those in it better. You’re going to be faced with morally grey decisions, and you’ll have to trust your gut and your adviser on what best to do.
“I know you are ready to take the throne, Heejin. I have seen you grow so much. My only worry for you is that you are not allowing yourself to feel enough,” Sooyoung runs a hand through her hair, tucking the long locks behind her ear. She looks out at the lake, sun glistening on the water. Heejin listens to her Aunt’s words and tries to keep her defenses from going up. “When Sunmi and Seokjin died you shut yourself off and tucked yourself away. And that would have been okay if you had come back, if you turned that part of yourself back on. You never did. To rule is to care, to feel for yourself and your people. I know you are capable of that, but it’s a matter of you wanting to let yourself feel that all again.”
The older woman watches her carefully, her face never changing as Heejin processes the words. She knows Sooyoung isn’t wrong. Everyday since her parents died has been spent in preparation for her future. She misses them terribly, that ache never leaves her body. It’s worse on some days than others, but it’s always present.
Heejin wants to be the best Queen possible. She wants to prove to herself, to her parents, to the people who always said she would never be a good ruler behind her back, that she can do it. And she can do it with a compassion, dignity, and grace that they are not expecting.
“I will make them proud,” Heejin says finally. Her shoulders a set back, head held high, eyes burning with determination Sooyoung has never seen from her niece before.
She smiles, “I know you will.”
In the stables, Jiwoo and Somi tack and saddle up their horses for their mid-day ride. They often alternate the days they spar and the days they ride. Somi found herself out in the stable one afternoon a while back. She spent a while brushing the horses, talking to them, feeding them. It was the calmest she had felt in a long time. Ever since then she came down to the stables to be with the horses, occasionally going on a ride. But those rides had felt lonely, until Jiwoo was out in the stable when Somi arrived.
It’s become something the two share together.
Somi leads her horse out of the stable before climbing into the saddle. She takes a hold of the reins and taps the horse on the side with her heel, a soft click sound falling out of her mouth. The horse slowly walks forward. Jiwoo and her horse catch up a moment later.
“How are you feeling today?” Jiwoo asks. Somi shrugs, steering her horse around a tree. The meander down the path around the lake, the same path they always take. Somi is sure that the horses probably know it as well as they do. “Do I need to use the scale again?”
“I’m not a kid anymore, Jiwoo. I don’t need to rate my emotions,” Somi groans. “I miss them a lot today. It’s almost a far away sadness though, just out of my reach. It’s there, but I’m okay.”
“You don’t want to punch things?”
“Jiwoo,” Somi groans again. “No, I don’t. I—I have better ways of getting things out now.”
“Care to share with the class?” Jiwoo looks at the younger girl. She has seen her feel so much and so little all at once. There are days where Jiwoo can’t get her to come out of her room and talk, and there are some days where Somi wants to share everything. She lets her have both. But on the days she can’t get out of bed, Jiwoo makes sure to stop by periodically and check on her.
“Talking with you, going for rides,” Somi starts listing activities. “Actually, I’ve started writing my own music and lyrics...I don’t think I’ll ever share them, but it helps.”
“Does that mean you don’t want to spar with me anymore?” Jiwoo pouts at Somi, who laughs.
“I’ll always want to spar with you. You’re the only one that can hold their own,” Somi chuckles. “Yesterday, I had Heejin floored in ten seconds.”
“You caught her off guard! I saw you.”
“Doesn’t mean I didn’t floor her in ten seconds.” Somi’s laugh floats to the trees. Jiwoo enjoys seeing her happy, carefree. She wishes it was the same look Heejin had. She sighs and lifts her chin. “Race ya to the tall oak tree.”
“Oh, you are so on.” Somi doesn’t give Jiwoo a warning and she takes off like a rocket. Jiwoo can’t help the gleeful giggle that erupts from her as she follows after the young princess. The pair race through the woods, the sound of hooves hitting the dirt, and their laughter echoes through the trees. As warmth spreads in Jiwoo’s chest, as her smile is so big it hurts her cheeks, all she can think about is wanting to share this feeling with Sooyoung.
Sooyoung is in her room when Jiwoo comes in. She’s not her usual ball of energy. Instead, Jiwoo is calm as she approaches Sooyoung. The Queen tilts her head curiously, but doesn’t say a word.
“In all the moments that I’m the happiest, I always search for you,” Jiwoo says, closing the gap between them. “Whenever anything happens in my life, I look for you. I want to share it with you.”
“Oh…” Sooyoung’s face burns with realization. Jiwoo nods slowly, her hands reaching up and cupping Sooyoung’s cheeks gently.
“I’ve been in love with you for years,” Jiwoo admits. “I don’t know why I waited this long to say anything, to do anything. But I’m doing something now.”
Sooyoung holds her breath as Jiwoo leans in, their lips barely brushing. The young woman waits; waits for Sooyoung to lean in as if she wants this, too. And, god, does Sooyoung want it. She leans in that fraction and when their lips meet, they melt.
Heejin’s birthday passes with fanfare. A ball in her honor brings out an abundance of suitors that are more than good enough to stand beside her. But none of them are enough for her. She spends most of that night with Lady Jungeun. They dance, laugh, share ludicrous secrets about the nobles in attendance. From a distance, it almost appears that Princess Heejin has chosen her Queen.
Sooyoung asks her multiple times if she has chosen someone as her partner. Heejin says no each time, and Sooyoung is growing restless. She wants off the throne. She wants to be able to stop hiding her relationship with Jiwoo.
“You’re going to have to pick someone, Heej,” Jungeun says to her over the phone one night. It’s a regular occurrence for the two friends ever since they met. Late night phone calls, where they unload all their worries onto each other. Heejin looks forward to those calls more than anything. Jungeun doesn’t listen to give her advice, she just listens. It’s that simple. Jungeun listens to understand her and Heejin does the same.
And that night, when Jungeun expresses her own worries, Heejin has an immediate solution. One that solves both their problems with a snap of her fingers. She thinks it over for the duration of their call, but in her head it makes complete sense.
From the moment she met Jungeun, they clicked. They have an understanding of each other that not many people have. The two have been best friends for seven years, and the love Heejin has for the older woman is immense. It’s deep. Though entirely nothing more than a friendship, she trusts Jungeun and she knows that Jungeun trusts her.
Heejin asks her friend the question, one that eliminates her worries and her problems. One that can whisk her away to a fairytale life that many people dream of.
“Are—are you really asking me to marry you? Over the phone?” Jungeun says.
“Yes, I’ll get you a beautiful ring, and you can move into the palace, and—” Heejin hears Jungeun crying on the other end. “Uh, is that happy crying? I’m sorry, maybe I should have bought a ring first and done this in person, but -”
“Yes.”
“Yes, it’s happy crying or yes, you’ll marry me?”
“Both, you idiot,” Jungeun grumbles, then sniffles.
When Heejin tells Sooyoung, the older woman could not be more excited. She throws her hands in the air and calls for Jiwoo. The weight on her shoulders already feels like it’s dissipating.
“Jiwoo!” Sooyoung yells, jumping from her seat. She picks the woman up and spins her around, “Heejin is engaged! Book the church, the venue, the chapel, I don’t know what it’s called, but book it! Next week. Tomorrow. Tonight!”
“Uh, Sooyoung,” Jiwoo mutters, tapping her girlfriend on the head. “Can you put me down, please? Heejin’s eyes are bugging out of her head.”
Heejin’s staring at the pair in a new found light. She snaps her finger, “You’re dating!”
“You’re engaged!” Sooyoung yells.
“I’m Jiwoo!” The royals turn to the woman. Jiwoo flushes under their gazes and clears her throat. “Right, um, we can’t book that wedding that soon, Sooyoung. We can figure it out later. When is your fiancée coming?”
Heejin grins, “Jungeun is moving into the palace tomorrow.” The youngest’s excitement is palpable. All she has worked for and dreamed of is finally going to happen. She’s going to be Queen, and she’ll have her best friend by her side.
Heejin gazes up at the painting of their parents on the wall. She hopes they’re watching; she hopes they’re proud.
Notes:
Once again, a huge thank you to bayli for editing and m for dealing with my constant blathering about this fic.
Final introduction chapter will be posted next saturday (May 23rd), you'll finally get Jungeun's background story and the whole picture will come together before we start in on the story.
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
ask me things or give me feedback here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96
Chapter 4: The Kims
Notes:
Last introduction chapter! Time to meet Jungeun's family.
Thank you again to my friends who have helped and encouraged me with this fic (looking at you m, o, bayli, and ren).
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Kims
Grey clouds fill the sky, the sun hiding behind them. Rain threatens to fall as two parents kneel on the sidewalk in front of their five-year old daughter, their car idling behind them. Clara Children's Home looms above Jungeun. She stands beside the director with tears in her eyes as her parents try to explain themselves. Everything they say goes in one ear and out the other. All Jungeun knows is that they’re leaving her.
“We want you to have a better life,” her dad says, holding her hands. “It’s hard to give you that without any money.” The sky begins to open, rain dropping ever so lightly on the crumbling family.
“Please, don’t go,” Jungeun begs.
“Mommy and Daddy love you so much, sweetie,” her mom runs a hand over her cheek. “We want what’s best for you. You deserve better. You should get a fairytale.” Jungeun is confused. Her parents have read her stories about fairytales time and time again, but what did that have to do with her. Why were they going to drop her here and go?
Her dad releases her hands and both parents begin to back away. The director tries to turn Jungeun around to bring her inside so she doesn’t have to watch as they leave. Jungeun stays rooted in her spot.
“Please…” Jungeun pleads, reaching out for her parents. They spare a glance back at her before ducking into their car. Their car speeds away and the sky rips open. Jungeun’s heart tears open just the same. Rain pours down around her as the director leads her into the building, her small duffle gripped tightly in her hands. Kids watch from all rooms as she’s led up the stairs to her new shared room. No one tries to console her as she cries.
Every morning Jungeun goes out to the curb and sits. She hopes each car that passes by will stop and her parents will step out. She hopes they’ll come back and whisk her away to the life she had. Maybe it wasn’t perfect. Maybe there were one too many nights she couldn’t have dinner because they didn’t have the money to buy groceries. But it was her life with her parents.
Every day, like clockwork, Jungeun is out on the curb waiting.
Other kids laugh at her. Most take pity on her, especially the older kids. They bring her food or toys while she waits. Nayeon is sure to bring Jungeun in every night since the younger girl has been known to fall asleep waiting. A lot of the kids have been in the same situation. They know Jungeun will come out of it eventually. No one can wait forever.
“They’re not coming back,” one of the kids says as she brings food out to Jungeun.
“They will.” Jungeun takes the sandwich offered to her. As she takes a bite, the kid sits next to her.
“I’m gonna wait with you,” she says, “so you’re not alone.”
Jungeun doesn’t respond, she just takes another bite of her sandwich as the two of them watch cars drive by and people pass. Later, Nayeon comes outside to get Jungeun and she’s surprised to find her with a friend.
“Bada, Jungeun, come in, it’s time for dinner,” Nayeon says, grabbing both the girl’s attention. The two kids follow Nayeon. Bada talks to the older girl with excitement while Jungeun follows her silently. Before the front door shuts, she glances hopefully back out to the road. No one’s there.
Like most nights, Jungeun pulls her duffel out from under her bed. She checks through the bag to make sure all her clothes are there like they have been the past two months. Each time her clothes get washed, she is sure to pack them back into the bag. It's a habit. It’s a hope that her parents might come back for her. But, that night, Jungeun takes out a shirt. Gently, she tucks the shirt into the dresser.
Jungeun waits out front the children’s home less and less. The more time passes the more she opens herself up to the new life she has. Bada is her closest friend, the two attached at the hip with everything they do. They eat together, play together, do their school work together. The older kids breathe a sigh of relief as Jungeun begins to settle in. Little by little her duffel begins empty into the draw. She grows used to the children’s home.
Soon, she had celebrated three birthdays with her friends there. She had seen kids come and go over those years, watched them join families and walk out that front door with smiles on their face. Jungeun wants to resent them for finding homes, for getting in the cars at the curb in front of the children’s home. But even though there’s a bitterness to watching those kids get the reverse story of hers…Jungeun is happy for them.
Especially Bada.
Bada makes the children’s home feel like that; home. She gives Jungeun a friend when she desperately needs one. In a home filled with kids, some often fall through the cracks. But Bada keeps an eye out for Jungeun. She includes her in games and saves her seats at the big dinner table. Bada becomes Jungeun’s beacon of light in a darkness she was unsure how to get out of.
When Bada’s adopted, Jungeun begins to slowly drift away from the others. She hugs the girl tightly at the curb, tears in her eyes. The farewell is bittersweet as Jungeun waves goodbye from the curb as the car speeds away, disappearing around the corner. It’s a familiar scene. The sting in her heart is a sensation she has not forgotten.
The days that follow Bada’s adoption are bleak. Jungeun plays by herself in the yard. Other kids try to invite her to join in their games of soccer or hopscotch, but Jungeun has no interest. She wants to be alone.
As the sun rises higher in the sky, Jungeun tosses her ball against the brick siding of the home. She catches it with ease each time it bounces back. It’s the only toy left from her parents. Over time, the red has faded to a blotchy pink. Bada used to joke that it was the color of Jungeun’s face when she’s embarrassed.
The thought of her friend distracts Jungeun as the ball flies at her. She’s too slow to catch it as it bounces past her toward the street. Without thinking, she chases after the last true connection to her parents. Her feet carry her across the sidewalk and into the street. The ball rolls farther and farther away from her reach. Just when Jungeun is almost close enough to grab it, arms wrap around her waist and yank her out of the road.
A car whizzes past.
An echoing pop hits Jungeun’s ears.
In the wake of the car lies the now ruined red ball. Jungeun let’s out a cry. “My ball…”
She’s set on the sidewalk and stares up at the two women standing there. Immaculately dressed and not a single hair out of place or a speck of dirt on their clothes. Both women peer at Jungeun with equal looks of concern.
“Are you okay?” The blonde woman asks. Jungeun nods, wiping her eyes. “You shouldn’t run out into the street without looking.” Her voice is stern despite her soft features.
“I’m sorry,” Jungeun mumbles, focusing on her shoes. “I just wanted my ball…” Tears spring back up in the corner of her eyes. She sniffles, scuffing her shoe on the ground. The dark haired woman gives the blonde a pointed look before kneeling in front of Jungeun.
“What’s your name?” She asks, pulling Jungeun’s attention to her.
“Jungeun.”
“Where are your parents?” In the distance, the lunch bell rings inside the house. Jungeun’s head snaps to the children’s home behind them. Both the women follow the young girl’s gaze. Their stomachs drop.
“I—I don’t know, they left me,” Jungeun finally answers as she shifts on her feet. The women exchange a glance before the dark haired one offers her hand to Jungeun.
“Why don’t we walk you in?”
“But…” Jungeun peers over her shoulder, “my ball…”
“It’s broken, sweetie,” the blonde answers.
“My parents got me that.” Jungeun tries to stop the tears. She hates that she’s lost her best friend and last connection to her parents in the span of a week. Even standing with these two older people, Jungeun feels alone. Without much of a fight, she lets them lead her into the children’s home.
As she walks through the door, the director rushes over to her. “Jungeun, I was just about to come look for you—oh, Your Graces,” the director bows her head. “I’m Director Seulgi, I’m sorry for any trouble.”
“No trouble at all,” the dark haired woman says, a soft smile aimed at Jungeun.
“I’m glad to hear that Duchess Eunha, Duchess Sowon.” Director Seulgi pats Jungeun on the shoulder, “head over to the dining room for lunch, Jungeun.”
“It was nice to meet you,” Duchess Eunha says to the young child. Duchess Sowon nods, a smile on her face.
“Uh, you too.” Director Seulgi gives Jungeun a sharp stare. “Your—Your Graces.” With that Jungeun skitters out of the foyer toward the dining room. Her usual seat is taken. She grabs a plate of food, and with her head down, takes a seat against the wall. Jungeun eats her meal alone. Something she has yet to grow accustomed to.
She misses Bada.
The next day, Jungeun is sitting in the living room flipping through the channels on the tv. All the other kids are outside playing in the backyard. She can hear their hollers of excitement and the laughter that floats through the open windows. She doesn’t want to join. Instead, she clicks through each channel slowly. Nothing catches her eye. Or maybe she doesn’t care.
“Jungeun, there is someone here to see you. Two someone’s,” Seulgi calls from behind her. Jungeun puts the remotes down and turns to find the two Duchesses standing beside the director. Both smile at the little girl.
“Your Graces, hi,” Jungeun copies what Seulgi did the other day and bows her head.
“We came to ask if you’d like to come out with us today?” Eunha asks.
“There’s a park nearby, we’d love to take you there,” Sowon adds and holds up a bag in her hand. “We have a gift for you, as well.”
“Do I have to come with you to get the gift?” Jungeun eyes the bag before moving her gaze to the adults.
“Jungeun.” Seulgi scolds but the two duchesses laugh.
“No, you can have it no matter what you choose.” Eunha’s eyes crinkle as she smiles widely. “But, we would really love to spend time with you.” Jungeun hops up from the couch with a shrug.
“Can we get ice cream, too?” Jungeun walks over to the women. Seulgi has to keep herself in check to not scold the child again. It’s easy for the director to forget the children don’t encounter the nobles often. There isn’t the same level of awareness to the way in which one must speak to nobility as there is with the adult citizens.
“If that’s what you would like, we can make it happen,” Sowon offers the bag to Jungeun. “You can open that when we get to the park, deal?”
“Deal,” Jungeun smiles. She’s elated when she finds a new bright red ball in the bag later that day.
The Sowon and Eunha come back almost every day the following weeks. They take Jungeun out to the park, to ice cream parlors and candy shops, they play with the other children in the yard, and help Jungeun with her homework. Many of the kids stare at the Duchesses in wonder. Or try to take their attention away from Jungeun. And while the pair are polite to the other children, their focus is always on the young brunette they came to spend time with.
After meeting Jungeun that day in the street, Eunha and Sowon felt a connection to the young child. They have wanted to build a family together, but never had a chance to have one of their own. That day they were taking a walk when they encountered Jungeun. It seemed like fate. Eunha and Sowon didn’t want to pass up the chance to get to know Jungeun.
Jungeun is inquisitive and kind. She’s shy, but tries to include the other children whenever the Duchesses appear. She’s thoughtful, calculative. Jungeun is hesitant in her actions, not sure how to take the attention that the Duchesses give her. That isn’t something Jungeun is used to.
The little girl is scared to grow too attached to Eunha and Sowon. She’s been at the children’s home long enough to have seen this happen. Kids being taken out with potential parents only for them to disappear leaving a heartbroken kid behind. Jungeun heard the cries of those kids; heard the pleas and the question: why am I not good enough?
She’s surprised one day when Eunha and Sowon show up and take her to a side room in the house. They sit her down and level with her. Jungeun thinks this is where they tell her that it’s been fun but they don’t want her.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Sowon and I have enjoyed getting to know you,” Eunha says that day. “You’re a really special kid, there is so much you have to offer.”
“We were wondering—” Sowon takes one of Eunha’s hands and one of Jungeun’s— “how would you feel if we were your parents?”
Jungeun looks around the room. She’s certain someone’s going to jump out and say this is a joke, that they grabbed the wrong kid. Her eyes meet Eunha and Sowon. Both are smiling, it’s soft, small. But they’re not moving, not taking it back. And the longer she waits, the more Jungeun believes that they will take it back. It’s only a matter of time.
“You—you want me?” Jungeun finally speaks. Eunha’s smile wavers, she squeezes Jungeun’s hand.
“We would love to call you our daughter, Jungeun.”
Tears fall down Jungeun’s face as she throws her arms around Eunha’s neck, a soft yes heard from the child. The Duchess catches the young girl and holds her tightly, Sowon coming up behind them. They stay like that as Jungeun cries.
Eunha meets Sowon’s gaze over Jungeun’s shoulder, to see the blonde crying, too. Eunha smiles at her wife, their daughter in their arms. “Welcome to the family, Lady Jungeun.”
Jungeun and Eunha are out in the yard of their estate in Ivy, a small town not far from the royal palace. The duo are laughing as they play with the little red ball her new moms got her. Jungeun is teaching her the rules of the game she made up while at the children’s home. Eunha listens intently as her daughter explains. There really aren’t many rules other than throw the ball against the wall and catch it, but Jungeun created a complex point system that Eunha is struggling to keep up with.
“Let’s start, you can teach me as we go,” Eunha says. Jungeun had explained the same part three times and still the older woman was not grasping it. Her daughter laughs at her, but agrees. Jungeun throws the ball against the side of the house and as it comes back, it bounces on the ground before Eunha catches it. “Five points!”
“Yeah! Now, you throw since you’re winning,” Jungeun beams. She used to play this game with Bada. Bada and Jungeun had played for hours trying to see who could reach five-hundred points first. They never reached it in a single game before Bada left.
The ball hits the wall and comes back. Jungeun rushes up closer and grabs it from the air. “Ten points! I’m winning now.”
Eunha and Jungeun go back and forth, the mother learning the rules the more they play. Twenty-five points for a one handed air catch. Two points if the ball bounces out of the players hand and the other player catches it. The points go on and on like that, but Eunha is having fun learning her daughter’s game.
Jungeun’s having fun, too. She hasn’t laughed or smiled as much since Bada was adopted. It’s a nice break from being so lonely. Her new moms are nice, especially Eunha. She plays with Jungeun every day whenever the little girl asks. Rain or shine, Eunha finds something the two can do together. Sowon joins them sometimes, but she’s not as present with Jungeun; they try not to notice her absence.
“Fifty points!” Jungeun yells. The ball had hit the wall, bounced off Eunha’s head, and Jungeun caught it in the air. Eunha rubs her head, laughing. “Uh, sorry, mom. You okay?”
“Yes, don’t worry,” Eunha smiles and takes the ball. “I’m still in the lead, though.” She pokes Jungeun’s belly eliciting a laugh from her daughter. When she throws the ball, she misses the wall. They both watch in horror as the ball flies toward Sowon who’s standing in the now open sliding door.
“Mama, watch out!” Jungeun reaches forward as if she can stop the ball by some magic force.
Sowon catches the ball with ease and looks to Eunha. Sheepishly, her wife apologizes. “Jungeun, it’s time for your lessons.”
“Oh, right…” Jungeun deflates and turns to her other mom. “Thanks for playing with me.”
“You never need to thank me for that, I love spending time with you,” Eunha kisses Jungeun’s forehead before sending her to Sowon. She watches as they walk into the house, Jungeun’s feet dragging. Eunha knows how much her daughter hates these lessons. She hated them when she was that age, too. Unfortunately, it’s the nature of their life, and to exist within these circles, the lessons are a necessary evil.
Eunha takes some time to herself to clean up the yard. Jungeun’s toys litter the grassy area behind their house. Tea sets, dolls, and that one bike that Jungeun wanted but is struggling to learn how to ride. Eunha makes a mental note to take more time to teach her how.
She finishes cleaning up and settles in at the patio with a book in her hand. The summer sun burning bright, the warmth seeping through her skin.
Inside, Jungeun stands in Sowon’s office. Her Mama walks around her, judging her posture. They have to start with the basics since Jungeun didn’t grow up learning these habits like Sowon and Eunha did. Jungeun hates it. She feels like she’s on a chopping block, waiting for the ax to fall with the next round of criticism. She tries to keep her brave face on.
“Straighten your back,” Sowon says. Her finger nudges Jungeun’s chin, “Head up a little more. Good.”
“This is stupid,” Jungeun grumbles.
“You will speak clearly,” Sowon turns to look at her daughter. “And do not use that word in the presence of other nobility and especially not royalty.”
“Then what do I say?” It's meant to be rhetorical.
“Nonsensical, ludicrous, foolish. Never stupid.” Sowon taps the chair and gestures for Jungeun to sit. The smaller chair lets Jungeun’s feet rest on the floor, her back slouches in the seat immediately. “And we do not slouch. Tuck your ankle behind the other, straighten your back, and place your hands on your knees. No, not like that.” Sowon lets out huff.
“I hate this,” Jungeun whines. “This is stupid . Why do I have to do all this?”
“Because, you are nobility now. You’re not in the children’s home anymore, Jungeun. People expect more of you.”
Jungeun stands from the chair, lip quivering. “Yeah, well, maybe I don’t want to be nobility!” Before Sowon can stop her, Jungeun is gone with a slam of the door. The blonde noble slouches in her seat, blinking back tears of her own.
“What did you say to her?” Eunha appears in the doorway of the office.
“I—I didn’t mean to upset her,” Sowon sighs. “She’s not taking these lessons seriously.”
“She’s eight years old, Sowon.” Eunha crosses the room and runs her hand through her wife’s hair.
“I was further ahead than her at eight.”
“Yes, but you didn’t grow up in a children’s home. It wouldn’t hurt you to try to see things from her point of view,” Eunha presses a kiss to Sowon’s lips. “I’m going to talk to her. Go start on dinner, okay?” Sowon nods and Eunha leaves to find their daughter.
In Jungeun’s room, she pulls the duffel out from under her bed. She riffles through it, checking to make sure there’s plenty of clothes just in case. A knock at her door startles her. Jungeun shoves the bag back under the bed and climbs on top.
“Jungeunie, can we talk?” Eunha calls through the door.
“Yeah—I mean, yes,” Jungeun answers. When Eunha steps into the room, she comes to her daughter’s side quickly. Her arm wraps around the little girl, squeezing her tightly.
“What happened, sweetie?”
Jungeun shrugs, “I hate those lessons.”
“Is there a reason?” Eunha releases her from the hug. Jungeun looks at her Mom with her lip shaking.
“I just feel dumb and Mama gets mad at me.” Tears fall down her face, “I don’t want Mama to hate me. What if she wants to get rid of me ‘cause I’m not good enough?”
“No, no, Jungeun, that’s never going to happen,” Eunha wipes the falling tears away. “Your Mama and I love you so very much. We are never going to let you go. She wants what’s best for you, she just has her own way of showing it. I will talk to her, okay?”
Jungeun nods, though the words her Mom says echo in a hollow place inside her. She tries not to think about the day she was left at the children’s home. Instead, she curls into Eunha’s lap and hugs her tightly.
A week later, Eunha and Jungeun are in the backyard. Jungeun is perched on Eunha’s back, her arms wrapped around the duchess’s neck. Eunha moves faster through the yard with her daughter, weaving through the flower bushes and trees. Jungeun lets out gleeful giggles.
“Faster, mom, faster!” Jungeun’s laughter grows louder. Her hair flows behind her as her Mom moves faster through the yard. They’re both smiling widely. Eunha and Jungeun have formed a fast bond. The dark haired mother is happy to be a playmate to her daughter, but Jungeun knows to listen to her as well. They can switch easily between having fun and having to attend to their chores. Eunha has a soft hand with raising Jungeun, which is the complete opposite of her wife.
“Jungeun, get down, right now!” Sowon shouts breaking the blissful fun the other two were having. Eunha stops and sends a pointed glance at Sowon. Jungeun doesn’t hesitate to hop off her mom’s back and race past Sowon. The little girl’s wide eyed and petrified look enough to give away her fear of her mama.
“Really, Sowon?” Eunha sighs, shaking her head at her wife.
“She could have been hurt, you both could have.”
“We’re not raising her in a bubble,” Eunha stands firm. “If she gets hurt, she’ll learn from it. We all will.”
“But if we can prevent it—” Sowon tries but Eunha holds her hand up.
“No, you’re acting like a dictator with your own daughter.” Eunha crosses her arms and stares at her wife. Sowon avoids the gaze, shifting on her feet. “Why are you treating her like this?”
“I want her to fit in,” Sowon whispers. “You know how badly I wanted to belong when I was younger. No matter what I did, people always looked at me like the poor duchess. I don’t want her to feel that shame.”
“She’s only feeling that shame from you.” Sowon’s head snaps toward Eunha. “Jungeun is terrified you’re going to want to give her up.”
Sowon’s face falls. “I would never do that…”
“She doesn’t know that, though. Not with the way you’ve been treating her,” Eunha lays a gentle hand on her wife’s cheek. She steers Sowon’s gaze back to her. “If you want her to feel like she belongs, she needs to feel comfortable here with us. Both of us.”
“I’ll be back in two days,” Eunha says to Jungeun and Sowon. The other two glance at each other and then back at Eunha. “You’ll be okay, it’s only two days. You two could use some time to bond.”
“Mom, are you sure you have to go?” Jungeun asks nervously. There has been very few days in the past two years where Jungeun has been without Eunha. Two days is a long time for the young girl to be left with her more strict mother.
“This conference in Lantana has been on my schedule for a year,” Eunha kneels in front of her daughter. “I promise, I’ll be back before you know it.” She kisses her daughter's cheek before standing to give Sowon a kiss. “Be good, don’t destroy the house. I love you both.” With that, Eunha walks out the front door with her bag rolling behind her. When the door clicks shut, Jungeun deflates and walks off without a word to Sowon.
Sowon tries to ignore the sting she feels watching her daughter walk away from her. She knows she hasn’t been kind and playful like Eunha, but she’s been trying to do better. Lessons are shorter, less frequent. She tries to be less condescending when she’s teaching Jungeun new skills and topics. But, still, it seems that the damage she caused early on has impacted their relationship more than she thought.
Sighing, Sowon goes to her office, leaving the door open in case Jungeun needs her.
Sowon knows she won’t need her.
Jungeun is out back laying in the grass. She’s watching the clouds roll by in the sky. Each a different shape then the last. Her and Jinsol would spend hours at the Jung’s Palace watching the clouds. Pointing out different shapes and wondering what it would be like to soar through the sky.
Jungeun misses Jinsol. Though the palace is a short ride away, Jungeun knows the Jung’s aren’t there this weekend. There’s no rest for royalty. If there’s not a ball or other party, there's a charity event or a wedding. Sometimes there are parades and conferences and ceremonies that they have to attend. Jungeun wishes Jinsol had come back already so she didn’t have to be alone. Sure, her Mama is inside, but she doesn’t play with her. Not like her other mom.
It’s always stiff. Tea parties turn into etiquette lessons. Games turn into proper techniques and thinking ahead of the opponent.
Sometimes Jungeun just wants to play. Without restrictions or guidelines or lessons. Sowon isn’t like that. Instead, Jungeun opts to stay outside staring at the clouds alone. She’s used to being alone. But that doesn’t mean she likes it.
Later in the day, Jungeun is reading the History of Valo book in Sowon’s office. The pair are reading quietly together. Jungeun knows she’ll get a quiz on the chapter when she finishes it, so she takes her time. Eyes scanning each page slowly reading every caption and Did You Know… section.
This is boring. Jungeun knows it. Sowon knows it. The worst part of lessons are the ones that are based within books. Literature, art, history, laws. As important as they are, the material is dry. Sowon remembered how badly she wanted to rip her hair out when she had to read those books. Sparing a glance at her daughter, she can see the same feral look in her eyes that she once had.
Sowon closes her book with a loud thud. Jungeun jumps in her seat.
“Mama, what the—”
“Let’s go play,” Sowon says, interrupting her daughter.
“What? But we’re not done.” Jungeun glances back down at the book.
“Come on, I can teach you some things that are more fun than this,” Sowon gestures to the books laying around them. As skeptical as Jungeun is, she happily closes the book and follows her Mama down to the kitchen. The family doesn’t have much of a need for personal chefs since Sowon would rather cook their meals. When they hold formal gatherings or parties, the Kim’s hire chefs, but otherwise, the kitchen remains empty.
Jungeun watches as her Mama wanders through the kitchen pulling ingredients out of cabinets. “What are we doing here?”
“We are going to bake. It helps me relax,” Sowon says and smiles at Jungeun. “My Mom taught me this bread recipe when I was your age. It’s one of the first gifts I ever gave your Mom.”
“You gave her bread…?” Jungeun scrunches her face up. “That’s not romantic.” Sowon laughs.
“It’s the thought that counts the most,” Sowon beckons Jungeun over. “I’m going to show you everything we need and how to measure it. We’ll combine all the ingredients, let it rise, and then bake it.”
“And then eat it.”
“Yes, and then we’ll eat it.” Sowon and Jungeun share a small smile. “Alright, let’s get baking.”
The two wash up and get to work measuring the ingredients and combining them in the mixer. Sowon sings under her breath, a habit she’s had her whole life when she’s cooking. Jungeun knows the song well, it’s the one Eunha sings to her when she can’t sleep. She’s hesitant to join in, worrying that her Mama might somehow turn this into a singing lesson full of criticism. But as they’ve been baking, Sowon hasn’t been cold to her at all. She’s been patient, kind, and—to Jungeun’s surprise—funny.
She takes a chance and starts to sing along with her mama.
Sowon’s heart swells at the sound. Jungeun and her sing effortlessly together. And the smile Sowon gives her daughter makes Jungeun feel a million times lighter.
“You know, that was your Mom and I’s wedding song,” Sowon says as they set the dough to rise.
“She sings it to me sometimes,” Jungeun takes a seat at the counter. Sowon comes over, offering her a glass of chocolate milk. “You both have really pretty voices.”
“So do you.” Sowon wraps her daughter in a hug. Jungeun revels in the warmth of the embrace, a calm washing over her that she so rarely feels in her mama’s presence. “I’m sorry for how hard I am on you, Jungeun. I know it’s no excuse, but I do understand that feeling of being on the outside. I never wanted you to experience that. I know my actions have done that anyway…”
Jungeun squeezes her mama. “It’s okay…”
“Oh, honey,” Sowon sighs, “it’s not okay. I don’t want you to ever think you deserve to be treated that way. Not by me, not by your mom, not by anyone.”
Jungeun holds tighter to her mama, not wanting to let her see the tears falling from her eyes. Sowon gently pries her daughter off her and smiles softly.
“I love you so much, Jungeunie. And I need you to hear me when I say this,” Sowon waits for Jungeun to meet her gaze. “This is your home. We are your family. You belong here.”
When Eunha arrives home two days later, she finds her wife and daughter laughing loudly in the formal sitting room. Jungeun and Sowon sit on the bench in front of the piano. Neither playing anything that resembles an identifiable tune, but they both sing anyway. Each jumble of notes that fill the room only make their singing falter more as they laugh harder. Eunha’s heart swells.
She watches a little while longer, not wanting to break the spell. Jungeun’s smile is so bright and Eunha hasn’t heard Sowon laugh like that in years. Maybe she should take trips more often.
“Thank you for letting me come over today, Jungie,” Princess Jinsol says as they lay in the grass. Jungeun’s parents left the two in the yard with Jinsol’s guard, Taehyung, watching. Jinsol isn’t too happy about it, she doesn’t see why a guard needs to follow the two thirteen-year-olds around the Kim’s property. It’s safe enough for Jungeun to live there, why isn’t it safe enough for Jinsol.
Jungeun doesn’t know how to break it to Jinsol that she’s a princess and not a duchess’s daughter. There’s a level of security that comes with that title, and Jungeun doesn’t have to worry about that as much.
“I didn’t really have much of a choice,” Jungeun turns her head to look at her friend. “You showed up at my front door.” Jungeun smiles when Jinsol laughs.
“We both know you’d never turn me away.” Jinsol looks away, her eyes back on the clouds. The summer heat has dissipated leaving behind a slight chill to the air. Tree leaves are beginning to change colors, some falling to the ground as Jungeun and Jinsol lay there.
“I can’t turn away a Princess, that’s not polite,” Jungeun points out. Jinsol scoffs and shoves Jungeun away. She chuckles at Jinsol’s offended expression. “You’re my best friend, you know you’re always welcome here. Princess or not.”
Jinsol grabs Jungeun’s hand in hers and holds tightly to it. Jungeun takes a deep breath to quell the beating of her heart. She’s not unaware of how she’s begun to feel about her best friend. It’s not like those feelings aren’t obvious in the way her breath hitches when she sees Jinsol or how she thinks longer about her actions around the princess. Jungeun isn’t blind. But she is cautious. And while those feelings may be obvious, she isn’t going to do a damn thing about it. Jungeun knows what it’s like to lose someone, what it’s like to be left. She doesn’t want to risk the friendship she has with Jinsol for something that may never last.
She holds it in.
“I came over for a reason today.”
“A reason other than my company?” Jungeun flickers her gaze to Jinsol. There’s a ghost of a smile on the princess’s face.
“That’s the main reason.” Jinsol’s smile falls. “You make me feel safe.Jessica has been on a tirade lately. We all have to be perfect. My walk, the way I talk, all the information we get during lessons. She gives us random quizzes whenever she sees us, Jungeun! It’s ridiculous. She’s insufferable. I had to get away.”
By now, Jinsol is sitting up. She pulled Jungeun up with her and still holds tight to her friend’s hand. Jungeun’s been over the palace plenty of times since Queen Jessica’s coronation. The atmosphere is tense, especially between the sisters. Everyone notices it. Krystal is the only one who is able to go up against Jessica and come out without tears in her eyes.
Jungeun doesn’t understand much about the politics of the crown. But she knows that Jessica ruling alone was unexpected. Nobles and citizens alike all thought she would marry Lord Taecyeon. The poor Queen of Valo is left to rule alone, and it seems like the pressure of the crown is taking its toll.
“She’s insufferable!” Jinsol groans, drawing Jungeun’s attention back to her. “Everything I do is under her scrutiny.”
That’s something Jungeun certainly understands.
“Maybe she wants you to do well,” Jungeun offers. That’s what her Mama did with her. Though the lessons have lessened in intensity, there is still criticism. Jungeun has grown used to it.
“Yeah, well, she doesn’t need to be a—a bitch about it!” Jinsol shouts. Her hand immediately covers her mouth as she scans the yard.
Jungeun feigns a gasp. “Your Highness! That is no such language for a Princess.” Jinsol lunges at Jungeun, knocking the girl down onto the ground. The princess hovers over her friend with a devilish look on her face. Before Jungeun can react, Jinsol’s fingers dance on her sides. A wave of involuntary giggles incapacitates her. “Jin, stop! Stop, please!” Jungeun’s laughing with tears in her eyes.
“Say I’m the best princess you’ve ever met,” Jinsol demands, a cheeky smile on her face.
“Never!” Jungeun’s lungs hurt from laughter. As much as she wants the torture to end, the little giggles falling from Jinsol’s lips makes it worth it.
“Say it,” Jinsol stops for a moment. A beautifully soft smile looking back at Jungeun.
“You’re the best princess I’ve ever met,” Jungeun says sincerely. Jinsol climbs off and offers her hand to Jungeun. The two stand up and laugh at their grass stained clothes.
Jinsol frowns. “I know that Jessica is under a lot of pressure or whatever, but that doesn’t mean she should be so hard on us.”
“Come on, I know what’ll make you feel better.” Wrapping an arm around Jinsol’s waist, Jungeun starts to lead them inside. She knows whenever she’s upset, there’s one thing that her moms do that cheers her up.
Jinsol and Jungeun pass by the duchesses on their way to the kitchen. Sowon and Eunha are curled up on the couch together. Each their own book in their hands reading in relative silence. Neither misses the giggles that they hear as the girls pass. The mothers ignore it.
There haven’t been many days without laughter filling their house since Jungeun became friends with the princess. Sowon approves of the friendship, mostly because of the status boost it gives their family and the real-time lessons Jungeun learns from her royal friend. Eunha is more happy that Jungeun has a friend her age who makes her smile brighter than any light. There’s only so much the young teenager wants to do with either of her moms now. Both the duchesses breathe a sigh of relief knowing their daughter is in good hands.
A loud crash from the kitchen calls their attention.
“Should we—” Sowon gestures toward the kitchen.
“No,” Eunha says with a shake of her head. “They’re probably just getting snacks.” Eunha puts her book down and turns around in Sowon’s arms. She places a chaste kiss on her wife’s lips. Despite the smile Sowon gives her, Eunha can see the frown working its way back onto her face. She pokes the crease in between Sowon’s eyebrow, “what are you thinking?”
“It’s nothing to worry about.” Sowon tries to go back to her book but Eunha pops up higher. Her head blocks the pages from Sowon’s view.
“I know you,” Eunha says. “I know when you’re lying.”
Sowon drops the book in her hand. Her arms encircle her wife’s body and tugs her flush against her body. The sigh that slips out let’s the tension fall away. She kisses Eunha’s temple and collects her thoughts. She’s been sleeping on this information for a few weeks now, not wanting to worry her wife about anything. But, the longer she holds the secret in, the more the weight of it brings her down.
“Myungsoo asked me for money again,” Sowon admits. Eunha pulls away from the embrace with a frown.
“Why does your brother need more money? I’m certain he has his own.”
“Had. He gambled most of it away on the last horse race,” Sowon runs a hand down her face. “I didn’t give him much, but I—I was worried if I gave him nothing he would get it from a less…reputable source.”
“We can’t keep feeding his addiction, Sowon.”
“I know, I know, but I don’t want him to get hurt either.” Sowon looks pleadingly at her wife. “I’m more worried he’s going to tap into the family funds and bleed it dry. We have plenty of money from our other assets to be okay for a while, but...long term?” Sowon’s tense, her fists balled against Eunha’s sides. The blonde worries her lip between her teeth manically as her mind races through all the possible outcomes.
“Hey,” her wife whispers. Eunha gently releases Sowon’s lip. She runs her hands up and down her wife’s arms. The tension falls away from Sowon; her shoulder sag, hands relax, a shaky breath releases. “We will figure it when we have to. Right now, we’re okay.”
“But what if—”
“Nope, we’re not falling down a What If rabbit hole,” Eunha pokes Sowon on the nose. “Everything is good. Let’s not worry where we don’t need to.”
The smell of smoke fills the air.
Then the fire alarms go off.
“That’s where we need to worry,” Eunha says. The two women race into the kitchen and skitter to a halt at the sight. Jinsol is on the counter waving a towel in front of the smoke detector. Jungeun is standing in a panic by the oven, mitts on her hands and a burnt pan of something on the counter.
“Moms! Help!” Jungeun yells frantically looking between her parents. Sowon lifts the princess off the counter and opens the windows. The smoke begins to billow out. Eunha shuts the alarm off and lets the fire department know they don’t need their assistance.
“Next time,” Sowon looks at the two guilty parties, “please ask for us to help you bake.”
“I wanted to surprise you,” Jungeun pouts.
“Oh, you did,” Eunha laughs. “We want you to be safe, that’s all. Both of you.”
“Yes, Your Graces,” Jinsol nods obediently. “Jungie was trying to cheer me up. She said you bake with her to make her feel better!”
The duchesses exchange a look.
“Well, we can’t have a sad princess on our hands, now can we?” Eunha turns to Sowon.
“No, we cannot.” The blonde duchess moves around the kitchen quickly, gathering new ingredients. “Why don’t we teach you two those brownies you both adore.”
“Okay!” The teenagers grin and rush to Sowon’s side to help her bake.
Though the kitchen turns into a mess of chocolate and flour. Their worries and frustrations are all soon forgotten. All that’s left are full stomachs and wide smiles.
Jungeun should be used to this by now. That feeling of being alone in a crowded ballroom. Her dress is itchy and her heels are too high. Nearly ten years in this circle of nobility, and it never gets any easier for Jungeun. Other nobles stare at her, they whisper behind her back, they stifle laughter behind their hands and champagne flute. No amount of music or bright lights can hide any of the shame Jungeun experiences at these kinds of events.
Her moms have tried in the past to make her more comfortable, especially at these events. But Jungeun’s skin crawls when the noble's eyes follow her every movement. She has always been aware of it; aware that no dress or posture is ever going to give her a place here. These events mean pretending even more than everyone else that she belongs. It means hiding the parts of herself that are unwelcome among nobility. But Jungeun is good at hiding, good at pretending, good at faking it.
Eunha had pulled aside at one charity auction after watching her daughter make rounds. Jungeun was only fourteen back then, still trying to get her footing in this new world. “You don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not, Jungeun,” Eunha had said to her.
“No one is going to like me otherwise, mom.”
“The ones that don’t like you, don’t matter. Be unapologetic in who you are, Jungeun. Those who love you as you are, those are the ones you keep close.” That’s when Jungeun had begun to stick even more closely to Jinsol. The blonde princess may not know her in entirety, but she loves what Jungeun has shown her. Most of the time, she has only ever felt like she belongs when Jinsol is by her side.
But Jinsol isn’t here tonight and Jungeun is left fending for herself among the piranhas. She does try to talk to them; to use all the lessons that her Mama taught her over the years. Polite, but vague. That’s how she approaches every conversation. Never giving too much away, but always speaking and asking questions. It’s never enough for the nobles. To them, Jungeun will always be the improper orphan that got a chance at a fairytale.
At least when Jinsol is at these events, Jungeun doesn't think twice about the stares she receives. She doesn’t hear the nasty comments. All she feels is the safety with Jinsol as they would twirl around the dance floor, laugh with their friends, or hide away in secret gardens. Throughout the years, no one has ever dared to speak ill of Jungeun while Jinsol is around. The Princess may be young, but nobility knows better than to cross the Jung’s. Without Jinsol, the worst of the nobles come out to play and Jungeun’s parents aren’t much help.
They watch her from across the room, giving small smiles and thumbs up. It’s not as encouraging as they think it is. Jungeun can’t go up to them to hide from the rude nobility that wander around the ballroom. She knows how it would go for her, she’s tried it before in the past. Sowon tells her to lift her chin up and keep fighting while Eunha gives her the most pitiful look and babies her the rest of the night. Both are equally embarrassing and neither one an option Jungeun will consider this time around.
“I must say, Lady Jungeun, you have surely come a long way from the little orphan girl you once were,” Duke Jiho says smugly. He tilts his champagne flute and takes a sip. “Though, I suppose this is not much of an improvement.” His buddies around him chortle.
Jungeun bites back her sneer and inappropriate words. Feigning a smile, Jungeun excuses herself away from the group. The men laugh louder at her as she makes an exit. People watch as she gracefully glides out of the ballroom and out to the front of the palace. Stars hang in the sky beside a bright moon. Jungeun lets them guide her out further into the front garden before taking a seat.
The music can be heard flowing from the ballroom’s open doors. Even being away from all the noise, all the people, there is still a crushing weight of their presence on her chest. Her throat tightens as her tears start to fall. No matter how hard she tries, Jungeun doesn’t fit in here. Not without Jinsol or her parents by her side. Not without a safety net to catch her when the other nobles push back on her presence. She was adopted almost ten years ago, and still, she doesn’t belong here. People still see her as the little orphan girl. She was never an orphan to begin with, but no one cares to know the truth of her story.
Jungeun takes out her phone and dials the number of the person who has always made her feel like she belongs. Status, title, money, none of it matters between them. From the moment they met they’ve been honest with each other. She gives Jungeun the space to be herself without repercussions, without judgement.
Heejin picks up on the first ring. “My Lady, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Her deep voice is a familiar comfort to Jungeun. A loud sob erupts from Jungeun’s lips. “Wow, uh, I don’t think I’ve ever made anyone cry that fast before…”
The joke falls flat. All that can be heard through the line is Jungeun’s crying and Heejin’s soft reassurances. “What’s wrong, Eun?”
Jungeun breaks. The flood gates that hold back each worry and secret collapses at the princess’s question. Everything pours out of Jungeun. The secrets she’s kept to herself for years fall down like the tears on her face. Jungeun’s biological parents leaving her behind with tattered love and memories of a life she’ll never get back. Her moms trying desperately to make her feel welcome in this new world. Jungeun’s hesitance to allow herself to find a place in this new life. Heejin is the first person to hear about any of this.
Heejin listens as her friend lets this all out. Each new secret brings the Statera Princess further into Jungeun’s life. And Jungeun bares her soul to Heejin. She gives Heejin access to her deepest truths that she had buried.
“People leave, Heejin,” Jungeun cries. “They leave and they break promises. No one wants me here, no one thinks I belong here. My parents gave me up to give me a chance at a fairytale life. This is a fairytale...but it’s not mine.”
“What is your fairytale?” Heejin asks. It’s the first time she’s spoken since Jungeun started unloading on her friend. The question takes her by surprise. She’s never thought about what she wants in her life, what would need to be there to make this life a fairytale.
Sitting there, with Heejin on the line, her heartbeat calming to a steady thrum, she finally has an idea. “Somewhere I don’t have to be afraid to be myself.”
Inside the palace, Sowon and Eunha are stuck in a conversation with Baron Hoseok. He’s prattling on about his latest boating adventure with his friends. The two Duchesses listen politely, but the Baron’s enthusiasm is difficult to match. He talks animatedly with a large grin. Sowon and Eunha don’t dislike the Baron, but his ridiculous dose of sunshine can be too much to bear for prolonged periods of time.
“Oh, and, Your Grace,” Baron Hoseok turns to Sowon, “have you spoken with your brother, Duke Myungsoo, lately?”
“His correspondence is quite infrequent, I’m afraid,” Sowon says.
“Mm, a pity, I was hoping to be able to reach him. He owes me a rather large sum of money.” The Baron shrugs, his cheery facade comes back. “If you’ll excuse me, I do believe I see those delectable finger sandwiches making their way through the room.” The Baron bows.
Eunha pulls Sowon out of the ballroom with practiced ease. Her wife’s anger radiating off her body. The twitch of her brow is a silent warning sign of an impending explosion. Eunha is lucky to find an empty alcove a few hallways away from the party.
“I hate him! He’s ruining this family’s image. Our reputation is going to tank because he can’t keep himself from gambling everything away!” Sowon paces the hallway. Her hands balled into fists as she burns a hole in the ground. “I’ve known he is irresponsible, but this is an entirely new low for him. I’m going to have to talk to our accounts and make sure Myungsoo doesn’t have access to any of the money from our assets. I swear if we fall to ruin, I will—”
Eunha steps into her wife’s path. She grabs Sowon by the elbows and forces her wife to look at her. When their eyes meet, Eunha takes a deep breath. Sowon mimics her out of habit. After a few more deep breaths, Eunha tucks a blonde piece of hair back into place on Sowon’s head. “We will figure it out together, we always do.”
“He’s going to make us all go bankrupt.”
“You are giving him more power over you than he deserves,” Eunha says. She slides her hands down and clasps Sowon’s. “Tomorrow we will make sure everything is in order. Tonight, we are going to dance and talk to our friends. We’re going to go home and eat that apple pie you made with Jungeun. We’re going to take a deep breath and walk back to the ballroom with our heads high. Myungsoo will not be our ruin.”
“How did I get so lucky to marry you?” Sowon whispers before kissing her.
“I honestly have no idea, still trying to work that one out,” Eunha teases. With their hands linked they walk back into the ballroom. The two duchesses are oblivious to their missing daughter.
Jinsol’s hands on Jungeun’s waist leave her dizzy. They’re moving effortlessly across the makeshift dance floor at the Jeon’s garden party. The Jeon’s are celebrating the blooming of their flowers as they do every spring. Jungeun doesn’t mind being spun around the dance floor with flower petals floating through the air. She especially doesn’t mind the dazzling smile that Jinsol sends her way. Maybe her stomachs in knots and her hands are a little shaky, but the look in Jinsol’s eyes is enough to make that disappear.
Jungeun doesn’t see the stares or hear the whispers. She only sees the blonde princess who only has eyes for her. She feels safe with Jinsol, as if nothing can get to her no matter what. She’s known her feelings for Jinsol for a while now. They’re impossible to ignore. But that doesn’t stop the ever present insecurities that keeps her from telling her friend how much she loves her.
Her love for Jinsol feels catastrophic in scale. There is too much at risk for Jungeun to ever voice her feelings. Too many stares, too many opportunities for more people to leave her. Even with all the love in the world, Jinsol is a princess and Jungeun is a lucky orphanage kid. She doesn’t belong in that world, not that Jinsol would ever want her like that anyway. All the heated looks and soft gazes could never convince Jungeun otherwise. Though, a girl can hope.
But, it’s in these moments, wrapped in the princess’s arms, her love for Jinsol is even harder to ignore. Just like it’s hard to avoid looking at the lips that keep smiling at her like that.
“Jungie, are you okay? Your face is flushed.” Jinsol pokes one of her cheeks and Jungeun swats her away.
“Uh, yeah, a lot of dancing, you know…” Jungeun coughs and looks away.
“You’re a terrible liar,” Jinsol laughs.
“I am not.”
“Oh, you are,” Jinsol guides them off the dance floor as the song comes to an end. She grabs a glass of water off a passing tray. Jungeun takes it from the outstretched hand, bringing it to her lips for a sip. “You can just say that I make you flustered.”
Jungeun’s eyes widen. She nearly spits out her water and chokes trying to hold it down. Jinsol pats her back gently and stifles a laugh behind her hand. “I—you do not make me flustered, Jinsol.”
“There you go lying again…I know they say practice makes perfect, but I’m not sure it’ll work in your case.” Jinsol’s lips turn to a straight line. “If it makes you feel any better, you make me flustered, too.”
Jungeun is thankful she didn’t take a sip of water or else Jinsol would be soaked right now. She meets Jinsol’s burning gaze and the air leaves her lungs. This isn’t the first time the pair have been locked in gaze crackling with tension. Jungeun can’t remember the first time it happened, but she remembers the desire to kiss the princess being strong. As strong as it is now. But she can’t, she knows she can’t. Not in a garden surrounded by family members and royalty.
She tears her gaze away and coughs. Jinsol snaps out of her thoughts. Both women flush brightly and push the moment to the back of their minds. With an outstretched hand, Jinsol leads them over to a group of young nobles like themselves. Their hands stay intertwined.
Later, Jungeun gets pulled away from Jinsol by her friend, Lady Lisa. She tries to escape the conversation not wanting to lose sight of Jinsol. But the conversation takes longer than she’d like. She’s able to pull herself away from Lady Lisa when she’s distracted by a new face at the party.
Jungeun searches the whole garden only to find her by the lake. She’s about to approach when she sees Jinsol sitting with Princess Hyunjin. Jungeun’s stomach twists at the close proximity of the princesses. She can’t hear anything, but the way Jinsol’s face lights up and how she throws her head back in laughter brings a twinge of pain to her chest.
Tearing her gaze away, Jungeun leaves the two women in peace. On her way to the dessert table to stuff her face with cookies, she stumbles upon her moms. They’re hiding out in the hedge maze, heated whispers going back and forth. Jungeun knows she shouldn’t eavesdrop, but the worry gnawing at her keeps her rooted in place.
“It’s getting worse,” Sowon groans.
“I know, but we still have enough money to stay afloat for a while,” Eunha says. “You know we might have to reach out to Queen Jessica…”
“No, that’s the last thing—”
“It is the last thing! Sowon, we don’t have many options left.” Eunha is stern knowing her wife is going to be too stubborn to listen otherwise. Neither woman wants to ask for a loan from the crown, but what else can they do? They’re on track to lose everything unless they do some preventative measures.
Jungeun runs from her hiding spot. She doesn’t look back. A deep seated panic sets in at the mention of their family’s money problems. Jungeun is too terrified to ask what it all means. What it means for her place in the family…. The last time her parents struggled with money she was abandoned. There’s no reasoning to say the same won’t happen this time.
Her feet carry her up the hill that overlooks the garden. She’s not surprised to find Heejin sitting up there. The younger girl has her knees pulled up against her chest. Her glossy eyes meet Jungeun’s. Neither speaks as Jungeun takes a seat beside her friend. Heejin’s head falls onto her shoulder and Jungeun naturally loops an arm around the princess’s waist. Her head leans on Heejin’s as they sit silently watching the party from up above.
Jungeun doesn’t need to ask why Heejin is up here. She knows through their many conversations that Heejin hates these events. She hates schmoozing all day and faking it in front of the nobles. It’s draining. Jungeun understands that. But it’s especially during the Spring garden party that Heejin is suffering. This was Queen Sunmi and King Seokjin’s favorite event to host at their palace. Their garden was their most magnificent feat—aside from their daughters. Heejin says that her dad would always make that joke.
She tightens her grip on the princess. Heejin’s hand grabs her bicep and they stay like that. They ignore their responsibilities in favor of taking care of themselves and each other. Jungeun and Heejin stay up on the hill long after the sun begins to set. They bask in the shared comfort and warmth.
When the sun disappears over the horizon, Heejin and Jungeun make their way back to the party. Heejin stops them at the party’s edge, “are you okay?”
“No,” Jungeun shrugs, “but I have to be.”
“Right...me too.” They both pause at the rise in laughter in the distance. “Will you call me when you get home tonight?” Heejin’s voice is level, but the turmoil in her eyes is easy enough for Jungeun to see.
“Don’t I always?” Jungeun smiles and kisses Heejin on the cheek. Heejin walks off after a quick squeeze to her hand. Over by the lake, Jungeun sees Jinsol is still with Hyunjin. Jungeun is approaching the cozy pair before she can stop herself. All she feels is this uncomfortable tug in the pit of her stomach and an unsettling rage she isn’t sure where it comes from.
She clears her throat making both the princesses jump. Jungeun can’t hide the satisfied smile that grows on her face at Hyunjin’s annoyance. “Jinsol, you promised me another dance earlier.”
“I did,” Jinsol smiles at her friend. She doesn’t miss the small glare Jungeun is sending at Hyunjin. “I’ll talk to you later, Hyun.”
“I appreciate you joining me,” Hyunjin gives Jinsol a lingering hug.
“My Lady,” Jinsol offers her arm to Jungeun and guides them back up to the party. Jinsol is quick to wrap Jungeun in her arms and sway to the music filling the air. “You know, you could have asked me to dance instead of lying.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jungeun whispers. The princess flicks her reddening ears.
“Mhm, of course, My Lady,” Jinsol leans in closer, her lips brushing Jungeun’s ear. “You’re a terrible liar. A cute liar, but a terrible one.”
There’s no stopping the blush or the smile that covers her face. Long forgotten is the troubles of her family or of Heejin. She’s in Jinsol’s arms. And, for now, that’s all that matters.
Three in the morning and the duchesses are in their kitchen. Sowon and Eunha both hold mugs of tea in their hands, idly stirring the liquid. There have been many sleepless nights over the past two years. Even with the loan from Queen Jessica, the Kim’s wealth is depleting faster than they can replenish it. They’ve been lucky enough to block Myungsoo from accessing their assets, but that hasn’t stopped him from taking almost all of their family’s money.
Sowon has tried to help her brother. She’s reached out to get him into programs and therapy to help him. But nothing gets through to him. He always has another Get Rich Quick scheme or he swears he’s done. He’s never done and her family is suffering for it.
“I’m not selling this house, Eunha,” Sowon says. It’s quiet, but firm.
“I wasn’t asking you to, but we need to think of something to keep us afloat until we can make more money off the real estate we do have.” Eunha lays her hand over her wife’s. They’ve been going back and forth for hours. The women are tired. Each night is another round of worries and ideas that never come to fruition. Queen Jessica was generous enough to give them a loan, but they doubt she will be generous enough to do again. Family friends or not. That is too much to ask of Jessica.
They’ve sold old summer homes and rented out others to try to make more money. And even then they’re coming back with barely enough to keep their lives running. For Jungeun’s sake, they haven’t told her. She has enough to worry about with her studies. Like many of the nobles, Jungeun studied political science. Now, almost twenty-three, she works with the parliament as a legislative assistant. What money Jungeun does make, she keeps for herself, though it’s certainly not enough to help bail her family out even if she was aware of the circumstances.
“I don’t know what we can do. We’ve been talking in circles for days…” Sowon sighs. “We can’t keep this facade up much longer. We’re going to lose everything.”
The two women sit in tense silence. Their tea is long forgotten on the table as the duchesses hold hands. They don’t notice the flash of hair disappear from the doorway.
Jungeun quickly retreats back to her room and her need for water no longer present in her mind. She’s breathing heavily, but not because of the sprint she did. Her parents’ words bounce around her head and panic settles itself in the home it’s made in her stomach. She hates this. The weight on her chest, the grip on her lungs. She knew they were struggling, but she didn’t know how badly until now.
Checking her bank account, she knows there’s no way anything she contributes will make a difference. Not with how her parents were talking. If she had found out sooner she could’ve been of more help. She wouldn’t have gone to an expensive college or waited so long to get a steady paying job. What can she even do? She can’t ask for a raise, not since she’s only had this job for a short amount of time. She barely does anything anyway besides file legislation and fetch lunch.
Jungeun is laying back in bed now with Jinsol next to her. The princess had fallen asleep in her bed after a long day. Jungeun isn’t quite sure what her friend has been working on, but she has refused to show her. She hoped not to disturb Jinsol as she shifted restlessly in the bed. Her mind is abuzz with ideas of what she can do to fix this, to help solve it.
A raise is out of the question. A new job won’t do much good either. Maybe she can sell some of her things to help offset whatever debt they may be in. Jungeun can start pulling her weight, paying for groceries and her own things. She should have been doing that anyway, but her parents have always insisted on helping her.
Her gaze falls on the sleeping blonde next to her. She knows both her moms have already received help from Jessica but maybe Jinsol can help soften the idea to her sister.
Or...or what? Jungeun has no idea. There aren’t many other options than hoping for the best, selling their things, and getting more money from their jobs. Unless…her gaze flickers back to Jinsol. Unless she gets married. Marrying well will give her parents a direct link to more wealth which can save them from this hole of debt they landed in. Jungeun can ask Jinsol this favor.
A favor. Jungeun scoffs to herself. She doesn’t want marrying Jinsol to be a favor. She doesn’t want it to be charity or pity. Jungeun wants it to be for love. But there’s a slim chance for that to ever happen.
Jungeun’s mind is whirring when Jinsol rolls over. She holds her breath as the blonde settles back into the bed, her arm reaches out. Jinsol grips onto Jungeun and pulls her closer. The blonde snuggles into Jungeun’s body and releases a breath against her neck. She can’t help the shiver that crawls down her spine.
Slowly, her mind calms down. The thoughts stop racing and her body relaxes into Jinsol’s touch. Jungeun can’t solve this problem in a single night. She opts to leave her worries for another time.
A few weeks later and the situation is no better. Sowon and Eunha aren’t getting any sleep. The bags under their eyes get darker and darker as each day passes. They’re irritable and frustrated. All their favors have been cashed in, all their friends don’t have any other options for them. There’s nothing left for them to do but sell their home. A home that has been in the Kim family for generations. A home that’s crumbling because her brother doesn’t know how to handle his money or accept appropriate help. Sowon wishes she could have seen this coming to prepare better.
Jungeun notices this as their baking in the kitchen. Sowon is normally so vigilant when they’re baking. She makes sure everything Jungeun measures is exact, but she’s falling asleep while mixing the cake batter. Even Eunha, who normally sneaks tastes of the batter, is half asleep on her hand. The typical laughter and singing that fills the kitchen is replaced by the whirring of the mixer and the beep of the oven.
“It was creepy, Heej,” Jungeun says later that night. She’s on her bed with her phone pressed to her ear. “They look like zombies. I’m worried.”
“They still haven’t found a solution?” Heejin is the only person Jungeun told about the money problems. She’s really the only person Jungeun has told about all her problems. And Heejin has done the same with her.
“No, and I’m out of ideas.” Jungeun rolls onto her side and gazes out her bedroom window. “How is the whole partner search going?”
“Bad. They’re morons or they annoy me. It’s even worse when they’re both,” Heejin groans. “I thought this would be easier.”
“Maybe you need to lower your standards.” Jungeun laughs when her friend whines through the phone. “This sucks. I’m about to lose my family and you can’t even find someone to build a family with.”
The line goes quiet for a while like it always does on their calls. Silence is as much their friend as they are to each other. It fills the space in a way that comforts them both. No one to impress, schmooze, or pretend in front of. Not that either of them pretend with each other. Jungeun appreciates the silence and she knows Heejin does, too.
“Jungeun.” Heejin says abruptly. “I’m going to say something and it’s going to sound insane but I want you to listen, okay?”
“Most of what you say makes you sound insane, but okay…” Jungeun frowns, but doesn’t stop her friend.
“Will you marry me?” Heejin asks and Jungeun chokes on air.
“I’m sorry, what—”
“I said listen!” Heejin’s tone forces Jungeun to bite her tongue. “You’re having money problems without any feasible way to solve them and leave everyone happy. I’m having a hard time finding someone to marry because they’re all annoying assholes. Don’t you see, Eun? We can help each other. You’re my absolute best friend. I know you. I know you inside and out, left and right, up and down, around—you get the point. I love you so much, and I won’t ever leave you. This makes sure of it.”
Jungeun’s eyes blur with a wave of tears. “Are—are you really asking me to marry you? Over the phone?” Jungeun starts crying, her heart so full at Heejin’s words. She’s making sure Jungeun never feels alone again, never feels out of place. Giving her security of knowing she won’t ever be abandoned again.
“Yes, I’ll get you a beautiful ring, and you can move into the palace, and—” Heejin finally registers that Jungeun is crying on the other end. “Uh, is that happy crying? I’m sorry, maybe I should have bought a ring first and done this in person, but…”
“Yes.”
“Yes, it’s happy crying or yes, you’ll marry me?”
“Both, you idiot,” Jungeun grumbles, then sniffles. The loud whoop on the other end makes Jungeun laugh.
Holy shit, she’s getting married…
The next morning, Jungeun wakes up and tells both her moms. They look at her like she has three heads.
“This is ridiculous,” Sowon stands from her seat at the counter. “You can’t possibly marry her! We—we don’t even know her.”
“Yes, you do. You’ve met Princess Heejin on several occasions. She’s been my best friend for years,” Jungeun rolls her eyes.
“I thought Jinsol is your best friend,” Eunha tilts her head.
“I can have more than one, mom.” Jungeun crosses her arms. “Look, I’m doing this for us.”
“Sweetie, what are you talking about?” Eunha looks between her wife and daughter. “Did you tell her?”
“No, did you?”
“Neither of you told me, I overheard you talking about the financial issues and I’ve found a way to take care of it.”
“Jungeunie, you shouldn’t be marrying Princess Heejin to help us. You should be marrying Ji—you should be marrying for love.” Sowon walks closer to her daughter. “This isn’t your burden to bear.”
“It is as much my burden as it is yours. We are family. I’m going to do what I need to and I’m not asking permission. I’m asking you to support me.” Jungeun stands firm, her gaze never wavering as she stares her parents down.
“You taught her that, just remember that,” Eunha mutters to her wife. “I’m proud of you for standing by your decisions. We love you. We don’t agree, but we will support you.”
“Thank you,” Jungeun hugs both of her mom’s. “Also, I’m moving into their palace tomorrow….”
“Tomorrow!?” Eunha shouts with tears in her eyes. “No, no, my baby can’t be leaving already…” Sowon grimaces and wraps her arms around her wife.
“I’ll take care of her, you best go tell Jinsol about this.” Jungeun nods and heads to the door. “Oh, and Jungeun, I am very proud of you. You’ve grown into a strong young woman. But no matter what, your Mom and I will always be here for you.”
“I know, I love you both.”
“My baby is all grown up,” Eunha cries as the front door shuts. “She didn’t need to do that...we could’ve…”
“I hate it as much as you do, but she made the only decision we had left.” Sowon walks them over to the couch and Eunha lays her head in her wife’s lap. Sowon gently plays with her hair.
“We never would have asked her to do that.” Eunha sniffles as her breathing begins to calm. “I hope Princess Heejin and the rest of the Jeon’s treat her well.”
“Me, too…” The two duchesses look around and take in the silence. It’s something they will have to grow used to. Their hearts ache at the thought.
The following day, the car rolls up in front of the Jeon palace. Her door swings open revealing a man clad in all black with cherry colored hair. For a moment Jungeun freezes unsure what to do, but then the man smiles.
“You must be Lady Jungeun. I’m Jungkook, Princess Heejin’s guard and, well, now I’m yours as well.” He offers a hand to her and helps her out of the car.
“Nice to meet you, Jungkook.” Jungeun smiles at the man.
“You as well, My Lady.”
“Please, call me Jungeun.” Jungeun says as the guard guides her up the expansive stairs in front of the palace. The doormen swing the doors open as they approach.
“I must use your title in public, My Lady,” Jungkook ducks his head.
“This isn’t very public in my opinion,” Jungeun adds with a smile. “Use your discretion, then.” Jungkook nods and opens the door to the right wing of the palace.
“The staff will take your luggage up to your suite. Princess Heejin asked that I grab you and bring you to her when you arrive.” Jungkook walks her down a long hallway with paintings lining the wall. “The Princess insisted on giving you the tour herself, but she tends to get sidetracked. I’m sure you know this. If you’re ever lost, call for me.”
Jungeun laughs, “Thank you.”
Jungkook pauses in front of a door and grins back at her. When he opens the door, Jungeun gasps. Heejin ducks a hook from her sister, Somi. She uses the advantage to knock her shoulder into her sister’s chest guard while she’s off balance. Somi hits the mat.
“Holy sh—” Jungeun gasps when a sweaty body tackles her. When Heejin lets go, her mouth guard is hanging from her face mask. Heejin is beaming at her and Jungeun can’t stop the smile that forms on her own face. She hugs Heejin again.
Heejin tightens their embrace as she whispers, “Welcome home, Jungeun.”
Notes:
And with that, the introductions are done! The next update will start the arc for Hyunjin's ball to find a suitable partner. See y'all in a week (May 30th)
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
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Chapter 5: Fiore - One Week until the Ball
Notes:
I know this is technically chapter five on here, but this is the first chapter outside of the introductions/prologues, so if you see me referring to chapter 1, 2, 3 + that's how I'm counting it.
I will be updating twice this week; once right now and also tomorrow night. You can thank an anon and M for this.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter One: Fiore — One Week Before the Fioren Ball
On the back lawn, three women stumble in the dark towards the archery range. Their guard is nowhere in sight as they crash through the bushes and trip over their feet. Hyunjin laughs as Hyejoo falls face first into the grass making Yerim trip over her fallen body. The Princess clutches her stomach with one hand covering her mouth as she laughs at her friends.
Hyejoo and Yerim scramble to their feet.
Behind them, hidden a few paces back, stands Hyunjin’s guard, Wendy. She keeps her distance, a watchful eye always on the three drunk troublemakers. Wendy lets them believe she isn’t around, but she wants to be close by incase they need her. Wendy is well aware that the princess needs to blow off some steam.
“I didn’t think Hye could get any clumsier!” Hyunjin passes the bottle of wine to Yerim.
“Shut up,” Hyejoo grumbles and snatches the bottle from Yerim who lets out a whine. “You took too long.” The three pass the bottle around until it's empty—though it certainly isn’t the only bottle they had emptied tonight.
“Why are we out here, Hyun?” Yerim asks. Her and Hyejoo have taken up a spot against a tree. They watch Hyunjin wobble back and forth in front of them.
“I needed air,” Hyunjin steps one in front of the other, arms stretched out to the side.
“We could’ve just opened the windows,” Hyejoo murmurs, leaning heavily against Yerim.
“Fine. I needed space, I didn’t want to be in the palace anymore,” Hyunjin throws her hands up. She nearly tumbles over at the abrupt motion. “It’s more like a jail. I don’t know. I just—”
“Don’t want to get married,” Hyejoo and Yerim finish in unison.
“—don’t want to get married! Yeah. That.” Hyunjin gestures toward them, “Even you two see it!”
“You’ve said it about a million times since your mom told you,” Hyejoo rolls her eyes. “Did we need to drink for this?”
“Shh, it’s more fun for us if we’re drunk while she rants again,” Yerim whispers and pushes Hyejoo into the grass again.
“Can you stop pushing me?”
“Not my fault you're an easy target,” Yerim shrugs and turns back to Hyunjin who’s still pacing.
“Why should I even get married? It’s an antiquated law. I shouldn’t need a partner to rule a country.” Hyunjin looks at her friends. Both are nodding along though their attention is more on their thumb-war than her words. She ignores that and continues on. “This ball is so stupid. I don’t want to spend all night being talked to by a bunch of pompous nobles. It’s just going to be a pissing match of who has the bigger p—”
“Hyunjin!” Yerim scolds, “it’s not the size that matters—”
“Palace...bigger palace…” Hyunjin corrects as Hyejoo’s piercing laugh fills their ears. Brushing the comment aside, Hyunjin continues. “None of them care for me, they just want the title.”
“At least most of the nobles and royalty attending are nice to look at,” Yerim shrugs. Out of the corner of their eyes, Hyejoo stills on the ground, hands grasping her stomach. Small giggles intermittently tumbling from her lips. Hyunjin and Yerim ignore her.
“I guess,” Hyunjin turns on her heel and walks over to the shed where they keep their archery equipment. When she walks back over to her friends they both look at her wide eyed.
“Uh, you’re not about to hunt us for sport, right?” Hyejoo eyes the bow wearily. “I’m not a good runner.”
“What? No, it helps me think,” Hyunjin gestures to the dimly lit targets. “I know I haven’t stopped talking about this stupid ball in months...I’m just mad.” She nocks the arrow.
“We get it,” Hyejoo says.
“Yeah, you’re allowed to be angry.” Yerim and Hyejoo watch as she draws the bowstring back and releases. The arrow sinks into the target way off center. They spare a glance at each other. Most of the people on the palace grounds are worried about her. Yerim and Hyejoo are closest though. Close enough to actually see the cracks in the facade the princess wears everyday. With the ball getting closer Hyunjin is cracking under the pressure.
Hyunjin nocks another arrow. “I want to become queen, but I don’t want to marry to do it. I don’t want to go through a whole evening talking to people who only want my title. My mom got lucky with my dad. They loved each other so deeply and had such a great friendship. Who’s to say I’ll get that lucky?” She pulls the bowstring back again, aims, and releases. Her hands are shaking and her voice is hoarse. Hyunjin didn’t realize she’s been yelling until now. “I hate this. These stupid laws and this stupid ball and all the stuck up nobles who are going to try to convince me that they’re the right fit. Screw that. I—I don’t want that.”
Hyunjin nocks a third arrow and turns to her friends, tears in her eyes. “I—I don’t even know what I want…”
Before Yerim or Hyejoo can respond or more, a short blonde woman pops out of the trees. Hyunjin spins and draws the bow, accidentally releasing it toward the woman. She ducks. It whizzes above her and breaks off a piece of a statue.
“Fuck, that’s Mom’s favorite,” Hyunjin drops the bow. “Wendy, what are you doing I thought—”
“That you escaped me? No,” the guard laughs, “none of you are as sneaky as I let you believe. Put the bow away, Your Highness, you’re too intoxicated to handle that right now.” Hyunjin doesn’t have the energy to disagree. Her, Hyejoo, and Yerim let Wendy lead them back into the palace. Though the troublemakers are taller than Wendy, they all know she’s stronger than each of them combined. They don’t dare test that as she leads them to Hyunjin’s room.
“Don’t tell my mom, please,” Hyunjin begs as her guard turns to leave them.
“Unless she asks, I won’t say a word,” Wendy smiles. “Get some rest.”
Hyunjin shuts the door behind Wendy and turns to her friends. Yerim and Hyejoo are curled up on her bed with a spot open for Hyunjin to join.
“I love you, guys,” Hyunjin says curling into Hyejoo’s side.
“Love you back,” Yerim mutters sleepily. Hyejoo pats Hyunjin’s arm with a hum. It feels like they’re eight-years-old again sharing the bed after a long day of playing. She sighs as she burrows under the covers beside them. Hyunjin wishes it was still that simple.
The next day, Hyunjin stands on a platform in her room with her back to the mirrors set up in the walk-in closet. She can’t fully see the ball gown on her as the seamstress’s daughter moves around her. A pin cushion is attached to the small blonde’s wrist as she pulls and pins fabric to the princess's body. Hyunjin does the best she can not to move, but the feeling of the fabric on her skin reminds her of the impending ball. Mindlessly, Hyunjin rubs the soft green material between her fingers.
“You’re going to make the pins fall out,” the seamstress says, her voice soft.
“Sorry, Chaewon,” Hyunjin drops the fabric. Chaewon appears in front of Hyunjin with a pin in her hand. The princess has grown used to Chaewon over the past year. Her mother and her had moved into the palace not too long ago to tend to Hyunjin and Vivi’s wardrobe. Each outfit is beautifully done and entirely unique to the Kim-Wong’s. Chaewon moves about the palace quietly. Hyunjin has seen her with the chef’s daughter, Yeojin, often. Though, Hyunjin doesn’t know much about either.
She had been gone for college, rarely spending time at the palace except for breaks. Hyunjin knows that Yerim and Hyejoo know more about them, but both her friends avoid the topic.
Chaewon finishes pinning the bust. “How does that feel?”
“Mm, maybe a little too tight,” Hyunjin says after a moment. “Tell Chorong I love this design. I wish I wasn’t wasting it on a bunch of arrogant suitors.”
Laughing, Chaewon fixes the bust again. Hyunjin gives her a thumbs up when it feels more comfortable. The blonde bends down to adjust the length of the gown. “I’ll be sure to let my mom know. But, is any dress really wasted when you wear it, Your Highness?”
Hyunjin rolls her eyes when she sees Chaewon’s smirk. “You’re annoying. And I told you, just call me Hyunjin.”
“It bothers you, so I won’t stop,” Chaewon laughs again. When her mom and her had first come to the palace, they were both anxious about how the royal family would be behind closed doors. But the more time Chaewon spends here, the more she enjoys the Princess’s company. Hyunjin comes across as generous and thoughtful to the public eye. Within the palace, Chaewon has noticed she’s far more playful than she lets on. The Princess can have her serious moments, Chaewon has witnessed those. There’s also this side of Hyunjin, the side that lets the young seamstress joke around with her and poke fun without repercussions.
Chaewon has overheard staff members talking about Hyunjin on more than one occasion. Their words are always sparkling in regards to the Princess. They constantly compare her to her father, King Kai; a jokester with a heart of gold. She sees that in Hyunjin, too.
The two continue their banter as Chaewon finishes up the fitting. Hyunjin tries to ignore the giant knot growing in her stomach by teasing the shorter girl. Out of the corner of her eyes, she sees Hyejoo walk into the room. Hyunjin doesn’t warn Hyejoo about Chaewon being in the room with her and instead watches as her friend puts the pieces together slowly. Chaewon comes around Hyunjin and tugs on the green material to adjust it. Hyejoo’s eyes widen comically and her feet become foreign entities to her. She trips and knocks into Chaewon’s box of tools sending her materials all over the floor. Hyejoo looks up sheepishly, red tinting her cheeks.
Hyunjin’s laugh echoes in the small space, “Smooth, Hye, really smooth.”
Hyejoo scrambles on the floor trying to clean up the mess she made. Typical of Hyunjin to not give her any notice that Chaewon is in the room. She should have learned by now to check instead of letting herself be taken by surprise and making a fool out of herself. Hyejoo’s face reddens further.
“It’s alright,” Chaewon places a hand on Hyejoo’s shaking one.“I’m picky about where my stuff goes, just leave it, please.” Chaewon moves back to the pining she was doing.
“Uh, right, I’m sorry,” Hyejoo tries to keep her voice steady. When Hyunjin lets out another laugh that she hides behind her hand, Hyejoo shoots daggers in her direction. It only makes Hyunjin laugh harder.
“Hyunjin, I swear—” Chaewon holds a pin pointed at the princess. “Stop moving, I don’t want a princess’s blood on my hands.”
“Uh...that sounds vaguely threatening.” Hyunjin stops moving.
“Take it however you want,” Chaewon shrugs.
“Right…” Hyunjin averts her attention to Hyejoo. “What’d you want?”
“Yerim has something she wants to show us. She sent me up here to get you,” Hyejoo settles into a chair in the corner of the closet.
“Probably another prank on Yeojin if I have to guess.” Hyunjin and Hyejoo both roll their eyes despite their curiosity. Chaewon shakes her head knowing she’ll hear about the prank from Yeojin later as they plot her retaliation.
“Alright, you’re all set,” Chaewon steps back. “Careful when you slip off the dress okay, doesn’t jostle the pins. Or stab yourself. Blood stains are annoying to get out.”
“I know the drill,” Hyunjin smiles as she disappears behind a partition. A moment later she’s back and dressed in her casual clothes. “Thanks, Chae.”
Chaewon waves them off and the other two leave the room. When they reach the hallway, Hyejoo smacks Hyunjin on the arm.
“Hey! What was that for?”
“Letting me make a fool out of myself in front of Chaewon,” Hyejoo says as they continue to walk toward the stairs.
“Please, you do that on your own.” Hyunjin anticipates the smack this time and bolts away from Hyejoo. The pair go racing past the guards at the bottom of the stairs, they sigh at the duo.
“Think we should radio Wendy?” One guard asks watching the girls round the corner.
“Nah, I like hearing about their pranks,” the other one laughs.
It doesn’t take long for Hyunjin and Hyejoo to reach Yerim. She’s staked out around the corner near the kitchen. Yerim presses her finger to her lips and points around the corner. Hyejoo and Hyunjin look at the hallway where Yeojin is walking down. Neither is sure exactly what the prank is, but they watch with bated breath.
Yeojin is on her way to the kitchen to bake. She’s excited to try the new recipe she found for macarons. She made sure to tell her mom, Chungha, to get the ingredients for her. Technically, Yeojin isn’t employed by the queen, but she practically lives in the kitchen always trying new baking recipes. Queen Vivi doesn’t mind, nor do any of the other kitchen staff. Everyone in the palace enjoys the treats that Yeojin makes and she’s sure to make extras to ensure no one is left out.
Somehow she got tangled in a pranking war with the princess’s best friend, Yerim. All she knows is she has to watch her back most of the time. Yeojin has fun with it though. Today she’s too distracted thinking about all the fun colored macarons she can make. Her foot snags on fishing wire barely visible on the floor. She doesn’t react fast enough and a large stuffed spider swings down from the ceiling smacking her in the face.
Yeojin screeches and jumps back.
Around the corner, the trio giggle at the reaction. Their laughter cuts short when they hear a familiar voice.
“Girls!” Haseul yells. Where there’s screaming, there’s usually the trio causing trouble
“Crap, it’s Momseul,” Yerim says. “Scram! Go, go, go!” Tumbling over each other, they scramble away from the scene of the prank. Haseul reaches the hallway where Yeojin is standing with the stuffed spider in her hands. The older woman peers around the hallway but the trio are gone.
“You okay, Yeojin?” Haseul asks as she approaches. She’s quick to clean up the fishing wire and takes the spider from Yeojin.
Yeojin gives her a thumbs up and a smile, “I’m used to them. We all are.”
“Well, I’ll make them come apologize to you.”
“No need, we have a mutual agreement,” Yeojin grins and starts to walk away. “Stop by the kitchen later, I’ll save you and Her Majesty some macarons.” With that, Yeojin turns the corner and enters the kitchen. Haseul carries the remains of the pranks over to the nearest staff and tells them to bring it to Hyunjin’s room. She swears those girls have too much time on their hands. Haseul makes a mental note to give Yerim more assignments as her assistant and to talk Irene into giving Hyejoo more lessons as well. Anything to stop this prank war that’s been going on.
The adviser sets off to the ballroom to talk to the staff about arrangements. There’s only a few more days until the suitor’s ball and Haseul needs to make sure everything is in order. A majority of the work leading up to the ball had been handled by Yerim, but as the date approaches, Haseul let her take some time to be with Hyunjin. Everyone in the palace can see how much this ball is affecting the Princess, and Haseul figured Hyunjin is better off being supported by her friends than left alone. This leaves her alone this afternoon making phone calls and ordering the staff around to make sure the set up is perfect.
This isn’t Haseul’s first ball. She has spent many years organizing events of all functions and sizes. But this one feels different. It’s the end of an era. Not only for Vivi but for herself as well. When Hyunjin assumes the throne, she’ll be stepping down as royal adviser. She’ll hand the reins fully over to Yerim and take a much needed step back. Maybe then she’ll have the chance to go after what she wants.
Haseul changes the song playing through the speakers to a Fioren classic. She hums as she moves around the ballroom adjusting tablecloths and centerpieces. As she steps over to the next table, a hand grips her waist and pulls her toward the empty space in the ballroom.
“Vivi,” Haseul laughs as they move together to the music. “What are you doing?”
“Dancing,” Vivi smirks and twirls Haseul.
“I thought you had that meeting with Chungha about the food for the ball?” The music rises around them. Staff slowly leave the room giving the two women privacy.
“It ended earlier than anticipated.” Vivi pulls Haseul closer until their bodies are flush. “I heard the music as I was walking in the garden. I knew you’d be the one I found in here.”
“Ah, yes, because you know me so well,” Haseul rolls her eyes with a smile. Dancing with Vivi is second nature to her. She doesn’t have to think about it which is a blessing and a curse. Instead, her mind fills itself with the way Vivi feels under her hands, or the depths of her eyes and the way her nose crinkles when she smiles.
“You forget how long we’ve known each other.”
Haseul locks eyes with Vivi. It’s a heated moment before Vivi turns away. Their feet continue moving them across the ballroom.
“It’s astounding to think of all the people who will be here next week,” Vivi says.
“All the people vying for your daughter's hand in marriage.” Haseul holds a certain level of resentment toward these kinds of events. It is, after all, the same way she lost Vivi. At least she lost her to a great man. Both women are worried about who Hyunjin may end up with. Though they trust her judgement, the Princess doesn’t have much time to mull over her options.
Vivi sighs, her grip tightening on Haseul’s waist. “I wish I could have given her the chance at true love. The chance I never got.”
“You still have a chance,” Haseul says hopefully. Vivi freezes and Haseul braces herself for what she knows the answer will be. What the answer has always been.
“Seulie...you know how I feel, but I—”
“I know, you have a duty to the crown,” Haseul steps away from the queen.
“With Hyunjin’s impending marriage and coronation...it’s not a good time,” Vivi rushes to say, trying to soften the blow. But she sees the hurt on Haseul’s face slowly fade to an expressionless mask.
“It’s never a good time.” Haseul shifts on her feet and runs a hand through her hair.
“I’m sorry…” Vivi reaches for her, but it seems like Haseul is getting further away.
“Don’t be,” Haseul ducks her head and avoids eye contact. “I understand completely...Your Majesty.”
“Haseul, wait—” But Haseul doesn’t stop, leaving Vivi in the middle of the ballroom alone. Cheerful music continues to play through the speakers in stark contrast to the ache blossoming in her chest. She tries to ignore the hollow space inside her as she walks out of the ballroom. The staff watch her leave with glossy eyes and a quivering lip, but no one says a thing.
Later, Vivi finds Wendy standing outside the study in the south hall. The security guard smiles at the queen as she approaches.
“Your Majesty,” Wendy bows her head.
“Wendy, hello, what are you doing outside the study?” Vivi eyes the door behind the shorter woman.
“Princess Hyunjin is hiding from me.” Wendy shrugs.
“Got it, I’m going to—” Vivi gestures to the door and Wendy steps aside allowing her to open the door. Inside, there is a lone desk near the back wall. Tall windows on either side let the remains of sunlight stream through, lighting up the room. Floor to ceiling bookshelves line the other walls. Books, picture frames, and other miscellaneous items sit on the shelves gathering dust. Vivi spots Hyunjin on the dark leather chair next to the fireplace. Her daughter has her legs slung over one arm with her back pressed against the other. A book sits in her lap untouched.
“What’re you doing in here, Hyunnie?” Vivi asks, startling her daughter out of her thoughts. The book falls from the princess’s lap and hits the floor with a thud.
“Fuck.” Hyunjin whips her head towards her mom. “I—I mean, uh...hi, Mom.” Hyunjin smiles and Vivi decides to let it slide. There isn’t anyone else around for it to matter anyway. “I’m hiding from Wendy. She keeps trying to get me to spar with her..”
“You do know she’s outside the door, right?” Vivi gestures behind them.
Hyunjin sits up in the chair, “What?”
“Seriously, you and the other two are not that sneaky.” Vivi laughs with a shake of her head. She walks over to the other leather chair across from her daughter and sits. “Which reminds me, do you know what happened to the statue out by the range? It’s missing its nose.”
“Uh...no?” Hyunjin avoids her gaze.
“Sure…” Vivi smiles, “This is why Wendy spars with you. Keeps you from mischief.”
Her daughter groans, “Of course that’s why she does.”
“Don’t you like to spar with her?” Vivi settles into the seat and crosses her legs. She regards her daughter carefully. Hyunjin picks at the fraying seam of the chair, eyes cast down.
“Most days…” She bites her lip, “I didn’t feel like it today.”
“Anxious?”
“Yeah. I’m angry, too.” Hyunjin’s shoulders fall at the admission. She leans back into the chair and pulls her legs up against her body. “I don’t want this.”
It hurts Vivi to hear how small Hyunjin sounds right now. How it cracks at the end of her words.
“I didn’t either, but I found a great best friend in that marriage.”
“At what cost, mom?” Hyunjin says finally lifting her eyes to meet her Mom’s. She expected tears, she expected yelling, but she didn’t expect the blank expression from her daughter. “You lost out on years to be with—to be with the person you love because of a bullshit law?”
“Hyunnie…”
“No, I don’t want a best friend. I have best friends. I want—I want love. Don’t I deserve that?” Hyunjin’s blank expression gives way to teary eyes. “Don’t I deserve to find love?”
“You do…” Vivi balls her hands into fists, digging her nails into her palms. “I wish I could’ve protected you from this.”
Silence envelops them. Each lost in their own thoughts of what they’ve lost and what they’ve yet to lose.
Eventually, Hyunjin excuses herself to bed. Back in her room, she lays under the covers with her phone in her hand. She scrolls aimlessly through her social media feeds. Hyejoo and Yerim are blowing up her phone with text messages. She doesn’t have the energy to keep up with their group chat right now. Hyunjin silences the messages.
She’s been on her phone for hours mindlessly scrolling. Honestly, she’s about to give up trying to distract herself. Nothing is working anyway. Her phone buzzes as she goes to set it down. Half expecting it to be her mom she glances at the screen.
“Jinsol?” Hyunjin mutters. The name alone causes her to pull open the message.
Jinsol: I’ll make good on my promise. Save me a dance, Hyunjin.
Hyunjin smiles at the message She locks her phone, placing it on the side table. A calm washes over her at the thought of having Jinsol by her side at the ball. Maybe the ball won’t be as bad as she thinks.
She falls asleep with a little less pressure weighing on her chest.
Notes:
Update will be tomorrow night: June 6th, 8pm EST
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
ask me things here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96
Chapter 6: Valo - Four Days until the Ball
Notes:
Chapter two, update two! Send thanks to that anon and M who persuaded me to do this.
We're checking in with the Jungs this chapter as we wind down toward the day of Hyunjin's ball.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter Two: Valo — Four days before the Fioren Ball
“You’re really putting me in another pantsuit for the ball?” Krystal rolls her eyes, stepping out from behind the partition. Her lady’s maid, Bora, stands in the middle of her room. Bora’s arms are crossed over her chest, her eyes raking down the princess’s body. Krystal turns away from Bora’s prying eyes and faces her mirror. The light purple material clings in all the right spots and moves with her easily. Bora steps up behind her and tugs on the jacket sleeves.
“Yes, I am.” Bora’s hands rest on Krystal’s hips. She pretends not to see the heat rise to the princess’s cheeks. “If you have a problem with that you can find yourself a new outfit.”
“The ball is in four days,” Krystal frowns, her eyes locking with Bora’s in the mirror.
With a raise of a brow, Bora smirks, “I’m aware. Do you still have a problem with the pantsuit?”
“No,” Krystal grumbles.
“That’s what I thought.” Bora moves around the princess adjusting the suit. The outfit came in from the seamstress not too long ago and Bora is making sure it sits well on Krystal. Her years of working with the princess gives her a leg up on some of the other staff since she has her measurements memorized. Bora requests outfits for Krystal more times than she can count. They’re not always suits either, Krystal just likes to exaggerate. “Isn’t this ball for the suitor’s for Fiore’s princess? Why are you going?”
Bora stands in front of Krystal. She reaches up and undoes the button on the collar. Her hands brush over Krystal’s shoulders.
“What, am I not good enough?”
Bora grips the lapels of the jacket and avoids eye contact. “You’d never leave Jessica like that.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t leave her.”
Something in the tone makes Bora believe they’re not talking about the same person. She shakes her head.
Krystal watches Bora adjust the jacket again and step away. She swallows the lump in her throat, ignoring her thunderous heartbeat. “My sisters and I are all going. The ball is mainly for the suitors to court the princess, but Queen Vivi invited other nobility as well. Mostly the family’s of the suitors.”
“So, you’re going to court Hyunjin?” Bora asks. Krystal can see the woman’s back in the mirror as she riffles through the closet.
“No, Jinsol is.” Bora turns around with a different blouse in her hand. Krystal can see the confusion on her face.
“Is she ready for that?” Bora crosses the room and hands her the new shirt. She turns her back to Krystal as the princess switches tops. “It hasn’t been long since…”
“I agree, but she seems excited about it.” Krystal's voice muffles as she slides the shirt over her head. “I actually overheard her singing the other day.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Whatever happens, we’ll be there to support her.” Krystal shrugs the jacket back on and faces Bora with a smile. “What do you think?”
“I think you should listen to me more often,” Bora eyes the woman up and down with an ever growing smirk.
“It’s not wise to look at me like that, Bora…”
“How am I looking at you, Your Highness?” Bora says coyly.
Krystal steps toward her. “You know how…” The princess clears her throat and sweeps past Bora. “I’m going to change. You’re free to go.”
“And if I don’t want to?” Bora spins to watch Krystal walk away.
Looking over her shoulder, Krystal grins. “Then you can join me for a walk.”
Meanwhile, Yerin sits across from Jessica in her office. The queen listens to her younger sister explain her concerns about the Clara Children’s Home. Jessica is aware of how passionate Yerin is about her work with the children’s home. The younger princess goes down to the home several times a week to give aid and play with the children. Yerin has no obligation to do this. Jessica never told her to, nor has it ever been on their schedules. But Yerin loves spending her afternoons there getting to know the children and providing any kind of help she can. Which is what brought her to Jessica’s office to begin with.
Yerin has noticed the children’s home slowly begin to fall victim to the years. The walls are cracked and floorboards are unsteady under their feet. Most of the home has old furniture that can’t keep up with the wear and tear from the children. After all the years that the children’s home has been operational, the building has never been renovated. Yerin finds this unacceptable. The children that live there deserve to have a home that is safe and welcoming. Not a building that is slowly becoming decrepit.
“Seulgi will never ask this of you, but the children’s home is falling apart,” Yerin says, finishing her impassioned speech. She fiddles with the sleeve of her sweater while she waits for a response.
Jessica glances at the stack of papers on her desk and the graphs on the computer screen that show a steady incline. She sighs, “I have so much on my plate, Yerin. I can’t add this, too.”
“But—But, they’re children! They deserve better than what they have right now,” Yerin throws her hands up. The sudden outburst makes Jessica lean back in her chair.
“There is not much time or money I can allocate for construction, workers, or temporary housing for the children.” Jessica hates to see the disappointment that crosses Yerin’s face. There is more going on in the country that needs her attention than the children’s home. As awful as that sounds, Jessica’s hands are relatively tied in the matter. And it hurts her as much as she knows it’s hurting Yerin.
“Let me be in the charge of this project,” Yerin says. Her gaze lands firmly on her sister. “I can figure out all the logistics. All I need is you to back my decisions as the Queen.”
Jessica mulls over the offer. She’s dealing with a lot of country wide dilemmas that need her attention. Even with her attention mainly on those dilemmas, there is still barely time for them with other local issues popping up. Giving Yerin the control on this project can be the segue to giving the younger princess more responsibilities.
“Hmm, alright,” Jessica decides. “However, you must keep up to date before you solidify your decisions. Sunny can help you as needed. We can have a meeting next week after the Fioren Ball to discuss what you have thought up thus far. ”
“Thank you!” Yerin leaps out of her seat with a wide smile. She rushes over to her sister and wraps her arms around her shoulders. “I won’t let you down.”
Jessica pats her sister’s hands. “I know you won’t.”
Yerin releases her sister and heads toward the door before stopping. “Do you think the Kim’s will help?”
“Duchesses Sowon and Eunha?” Yerin nods. “Perhaps, why do you ask?”
“I figured they’d want to help considering Jungeun’s parents left her at the children’s home before she was adopted,” Yerin says. She notices Jessica doesn’t seem as shocked by this information as she was. “You knew.”
“I did.” Jessica opens a folder on her desk, lifting a pen from the holder. “It wasn’t my place to say.”
“Right,” Yerin hums and opens the door. “Well, thank you again, Jessica.”
Yerin leaves the office with excitement radiating off her. Jessica stares at the report on her desk. Each paragraph highlights the glaring weak points in Valo’s health system. The further she gets in the report, the more her chest tightens. All her ideas come at a cost with each one worse than the last. She is at a loss.
Jessica presses the intercom and calls for Sunny. The adviser appears in the doorway with a smile that quickly falls from her lips.
“You okay, Your Majesty?”
“Do you ever feel like you’re making progress on something but then you look at what you have left to do and it seems like it’s even bigger?” Jessica rambles, her head falling to the desk when she finishes. Sunny represses a laugh.
“Maybe if you accepted help you wouldn’t be buried under work,” Sunny says. The adviser is half tempted to call Krystal to come and assist the queen.
“I’m the queen, I’m supposed to be able to handle this.” An exhausted queen peers up at her.
“You’re not just the crown, you’re a person, too.” Sunny gathers up some of the documents into a neat pile and pulls Jessica out of her seat. “You don’t run this country solely on your own. There are others at work that help keep Valo afloat. Maybe you should delegate more of your work to your sister’s.”
“I do delegate,” Jessica states, standing taller and shaking Sunny’s grip off.
Sunny scoffs, “I’m sorry, Your Majesty, but you delegate the simplest tasks to the other princesses. They’re not incompetent.”
“Jinsol does the financial work.”
“That’s her job and those positions existed before. You didn’t delegate your work load,” Sunny points out.
“Well, Yerin is going to work on renovating the children’s home,” Jessica tries to reason again.
“And that was her idea, not yours.” Sunny gestures to the queen’s desk. Piles of papers, folders, and crinkled up notes sit on the desk. There’s no organization, just pure chaos of an exhausted queen’s work. “I’m talking about giving some parts of this work to them to work on with you. You’ve been going over those reports for days with no solution. A fresh pair of eyes can be beneficial.”
Jessica glances back at her desk where she’s basically been living for the past week. Each day new reports come in for her to go over and nothing is changing. Nothing is getting better in the capital or across Valo. Solutions that Jessica comes up with are temporary. They won’t fix the problem at large and her brain is fried.
Jessica fears that if she gives information to her sister’s that she’s going to create a panic. She doesn’t want them to worry too much about what’s going on. But she can’t always protect them and fresh eyes could always help. Especially since the words on those reports are beginning to blur together the more she looks at them.
When Sunny sees Jessica fidgeting she knows the queen is finally listening to her reason. She doesn’t hesitate to dial Krystal’s number.
“Your Highness, I’m not interrupting anything am I?” Sunny says when the princess picks up. “Ah, when you’re done with your walk can you come to your sister’s office? Yes, the queen. She’s too stubborn to say it herself, but she needs your help. Um...okay, sure.” Sunny holds the phone out to Jessica.
Hesitantly, Jessica takes the phone. “What?”
“I’m not coming up there unless you ask for my help,” Krystal says.
“Are you serious?” Jessica groans when the line remains silent. “Get up here and help me.”
“No.”
“Wha—you little—”
“Ask me nicely.” Jessica can hear her sister laughing on the other end of the line. She’s about to hang up the phone and handle the problem herself. A glare from Sunny and the tightness in her chest makes her swallow her pride.
“Will you please come help me?” Jessica says through gritted teeth.
“Of course, dear sister.” She can practically hear the smile in Krystal’s voice. “Was that so difficult?”
“Just get up here,” Jessica snaps and ends the call. Sunny takes it back and smiles at the queen.
“I’ll have lunch sent up for you two,” Sunny pockets her phone and leaves a disgruntled Jessica to wait for her sister.
Later that night, Sunny walks down to the kitchen for a snack. Her nights usually run late, especially when Jessica has too much to deal with leaving Sunny with some of the more menial tasks the Queen does. Pajama clad and slippers on her feet, Sunny makes her way into the kitchen, rifling through cabinets. Crinkling of chip bags and slamming of cabinets echo in the empty room.
Or what she thinks is an empty room.
“Is it really necessary to slam the cabinets shut every time?”
Sunny yelps. Another cabinet slams shut. Spinning around, Sunny finds Jessica hunched over a plate of brownies at the small table across the room.
“Jessica, what—I mean, Your Majesty, why are you sitting in the dark?”
“You can call me Jessica, you know. We’ve been friends long enough,” Jessica beckons Sunny toward her. “Opening and closing all the cabinets isn’t going to make more food magically appear.”
Sunny sits across from Jessica and leans over to flick the small overhead light on. In the warm glow, the dark circles under Jessica’s eyes are more obvious. She’s tired. Anyone can see that. Tired, irritable, she walks around the palace with the weight of the world on her shoulders. Sitting across from her like this, Sunny finally sees her as something other than regal. Jessica is hunched in her seat, proper posture thrown right out the window. Her pajamas have cartoon animals on them and Sunny knows the other Jung sisters have matching sets. After all the years Sunny has worked with Jessica, this may be the first time she sees her as just Jessica. Not the Queen. Not some angry royal.
She pinches off a piece of a brownie and pops it into her mouth. “You still didn’t answer my question.”
Jessica sighs, casting her gaze off to the side. She hides out in the kitchen almost every night. Long after the staff has gone. Long after her sisters are asleep. Their staff usually leaves little treats on the table, which leaves her to believe she’s not being as sneaky as she thinks. But she doesn’t care.
She can’t sleep. Millions of thoughts race through her head. The crisis. Her sisters. Herself. Her people. All the things she needs to do, has to do, but can’t find the right solutions or words. She has been ruling Valo since she was seventeen, long before she was even legally allowed to. There had been no childhood, no time for fun or frivolous things. And the one time she allowed herself to love, to do something purely for herself….she lost it. Him.
Shaking her head, she answers. “If I turn the light on and someone walks by they always come to talk. So, I keep it off. To be left alone.”
Sunny drops the piece of brownie back onto the plate. A sinking feeling begins to settle in her stomach.
“Alone...got it. I’ll just—” She begins to retreat.
“You’re here now, you might as well stay,” Jessica says. Though her tone is flippant, her gaze is not. Her hand reaches out and holds Sunny’s until she settles back into her seat. Sunny doesn’t have a chance to put a name to it all, before the emotions disappear off Jessica’s face.
They eat the brownies in silence. Pinching off pieces and lost in their own thoughts. Jessica watches Sunny when she isn’t looking. Watches the way she takes a small piece of brownie and rolls it into a ball between her fingers before placing it in her mouth. It’s odd and it leaves Jessica wondering what other habits that Sunny has that she has never noticed.
“You’re up late,” Jessica says.
Sunny hums, “There’s some paperwork I have to finish.”
“It can’t wait until the morning?”
“Um, not exactly, no,” Sunny shifts in her seat. “I—It was supposed to be handed to the parliament a few days ago. I spoke with them though, it’s not incredibly important, so they’ve allowed an extension. I have to have it in by the morning.”
“Sunny, I’ve never known you to miss a deadline,” Jessica leans her elbow on the table, propping her head up on her palm. “If you need help, please don’t be afraid to ask.”
Sunny laughs. It’s one short laugh followed by a roll of her eyes. She flinches when she realizes she’s disrespecting the Queen. Hesitantly, she looks at Jessica who has a glimmer of humor in her eyes and a tiny smirk on her lips. Jessica raises a brow daring her to continue. It doesn’t feel threatening, more curious than anything.
“That’s funny coming from you,” Sunny pushes herself to say. “You’d rather crumble than ask for help.”
“I should listen to my own advice then.” Jessica takes another bite of a brownie.
“Or you should listen to your smart and beautiful advisor when she tells you to accept help from your sisters,” Sunny shrugs. Jessica falls silent, her gaze weighing heavily on Sunny. For a moment, she worries she overstepped with her. But she can’t take the words back.
Jessica takes in the advisor in front of her. A slow smile forming.
“Yeah, I should listen to her more.” Jessica stands from the table. “Get some rest, Sunny.”
“Goodnight, Jessica.” As Jessica walks past, Sunny swears she saw her smile grow wider. Sunny takes a minute trying to wrap her head around seeing Jessica in such a state. Exhausted and vulnerable. Entirely different then the composure Sunny sees every day.
Taking a brownie to go, Sunny turns off the light and leaves the kitchen.
The next day, Yerin finds Jinsol in the third floor study. The blonde is hunched over the large mahogany desk, her pen scribbling in a notepad beside her. Yerin knocks against the door frame to draw her sister’s attention.
“Hey, can I come in?”
Jinsol lifts her head momentarily, “Yes, give me a minute to finish this, though.”
Yerin nods, closing the door behind her and taking a seat across from her sister. Jinsol continues to read through the monthly financial report for Valo. The report outlines the expenditures of the government and the crown over the past month. Jinsol is tasked with making sure they’re still on track with their yearly budget.
She hadn’t set out to become any kind of economist for Valo when she went to college. Really, she wanted to focus on music, but Jessica insisted to follow a practical career path. Jinsol went with the next thing she’s best at: math. Much to Jessica’s pleasure, Jinsol came back with her degree and took up the job. She spends her day drowning herself in budget sheets and allocation requests. At least it keeps her mind preoccupied.
“Okay,” Jinsol sets her pen down, “what’s up?” She looks up to see Yerin is already staring at her.
“I wanted to check in on you.”
Jinsol rolls her eyes, “I’m fine, Yerin. Like I am every time you ask me.” She walks over to the chair next to Yerin and sits, tucking her legs up underneath her.
“You’ve been working yourself to death.”
The blonde sighs, but says nothing. Her sister isn’t wrong. Jinsol is aware of that. She knows that she hides away in this study pouring over financial reports instead of letting herself think. Free time means facing the fact that Jungeun just left her. Jinsol doesn’t want to face that. She’s okay thinking about numbers and revenue and budgets. She’s okay not wondering about how Heejin treats Jungeun and if it’s any better than how she treated her. She’s okay if she’s not thinking about it at all.
“All you do is work.”
“I also sleep.”
Yerin crosses her arm and glares at her sister. “I’m worried about you. We all are.”
“And I’ve told you, I’m fine,” Jinsol says. “Is there a reason you came in here other than to berate me?”
“I am not berating you, don’t be dramatic,” Yerin rolls her eyes. “You haven’t been the same since—”
“—Jungeun left, I know. Do you expect me to be?” Jinsol focuses her gaze out the window of the study. Flower petals fall to the ground painting it in an array of color. Maybe almost three months should be long enough to be over it. Or maybe it’s not long enough at all. Jinsol isn’t sure she’ll ever be over it completely. How can she be? There hasn’t been any closure for her. She told Jungeun how she felt and then...then nothing. Jungeun still left. Jungeun still went to be with Heejin and there’s nothing Jinsol can do but get over it.
“No, but running from it isn’t helping you either,” Yerin says.
“I’m not running. I’m coping.” Jinsol shifts her gaze back to her sister. “There’s nothing else for me to do about it. Jungeun made her decision. She cut me out. No amount of crying is going to change that.”
“Neither is overworking yourself.”
Jinsol shakes her head. “Working gives me a chance to not think about it,” she says, fixing her gaze on her hands. “Because it’s all I think about. Some days are easier. Sometimes I can pass the music room and it doesn’t hurt as much. Sometimes I can sing and my chest doesn’t feel like it’s caving in. And other days...I end up in here working all day.
“We were best friends for most of my life and now she’s gone. You can’t expect me to act like I used to when it feels like part of me is missing.”
Jinsol swallows the lump forming in her throat. Bites back the tears that always threaten to fall when she thinks about Jungeun. All those years of friendship. All the late night talks where she spilled her guts. That went away when Jungeun had walked out that door and never talked to her again.
“Jinnie, no one is asking you to act like nothing happened. We just—we want you to feel comfortable talking to us about this.” Yerin can feel her sister’s pain. She can see it written clearly on her face.
“It’s not that I’m uncomfortable talking to you about it. I just don’t see the point,” Jinsol shrugs. “I talked about it enough when it first happened. Now—now I just want to move on.”
Yerin’s mind flashes to the moment they received the invitation to the Kim-Wong’s ball. She remembers the bright smile her sister wore reading that letter from Princess Hyunjin. Yerin knows the princess fairly well. She’s heard nothing but good things about the Fioren heiress. In Fiore, she is beloved by her people and nobility alike. Yerin recalls all the times she’d see Jinsol with Hyunjin at events; all the happiness she’d see clear on her little sister’s face.
“Is that why you decided to go to Hyunjin’s ball as a suitor?”
“Maybe...I guess,” Jinsol says as she shifts in her seat. She continues to avoid her sister’s gaze.
Yerin takes the hint. “Speaking of the ball, is your dress ready?”
Finally, a smile breaks out on the younger woman’s face. “Yes. I hope it catches her attention.”
Jinsol is excited. Receiving that personal invitation from Hyunjin had been reassuring that the younger princess cares for her. Their friendship has always been distant, appearing only when they were at the same event. Outside of social obligation, they never really reached out to each other. But that never changed how they acted when they were together. Jinsol finds a comfort in that familiarity. No matter the event, she knows Hyunjin is likely to be around, and with that, a person to revel in the misery with.
Knowing Hyunjin, she isn’t taking the news of having this ball well. The younger princess has adamantly told Jinsol she didn’t want a marriage like her parents. She wanted a romance not just a friend. The ball is going to be difficult for Hyunjin to endure. People fawning over her all night feeding her bullshit as a means to persuade her that they’re fit for the throne. Jinsol can’t imagine how that will make Hyunjin feel. If she can be there for her friend, maybe she can make the night more bearable.
And if Jinsol can leave behind the pain from Jungeun...that will be okay, too.
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll have her attention, but I don’t think the dress will have anything to do with it.” Yerin wags her eyebrows.
Jinsol snorts and rolls her eyes. “Hyunjin and I are just childhood friends. It’s not like that.”
“Right, like it wasn’t like that with Jungeun,” Yerin says. Jinsol’s heart plummets.
“That’s different.” Jinsol clenches her jaw. Her hands shake at her sides. Maybe time will make it easier to forget Jungeun; to forget the pain. “I just want to move on from Jungeun. She left me and forgot about me. It’s time I do the same.”
Notes:
Next update will be in Statera with Jungeun & Heejin (and the other Jeons): June 13th, 8pm EST
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
ask me things here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96
Chapter 7: Statera - One Day until the Ball
Notes:
Surprise! Unless you follow me on twitter, then this is not a surprise. Anyway, I'm making this another two chapter week so we can get to the ball sooner.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter Seven: Statera — One day before the Fioren Ball
Heejin and Jungeun walk side by side through the garden at the Jeon’s palace. A faint breeze rustles the flower bushes sending petals floating through the air. Not long after Jungeun moved into the palace, Heejin had started to take her on these walks. She had taken Jungeun through the same forest paths she once walked with her dad.
The two women even took a moment in the hidden shore on the opposite side of the lake. A weeping cherry tree had hidden the pair from view as they watched the sun rise higher in the sky. This is the same spot she had spent many afternoons with her dad, where they shared secrets and stolen treats from the kitchen. This is where Heejin feels at ease. She hopes it makes Jungeun feel the same.
A flower petal floats by, landing in Jungeun’s hair and making Heejin laugh. She picks it out and lets it flutter to the ground. Jungeun smiles in thanks.
Her thoughts have been a mess since she left Valo. She’s trying her best to adjust to this new life which is far more unwelcoming than her previous one. Before she was the abandoned child thrown into the life of nobility. Now, she’s going to be a queen and the looks that will come with this soon-to-be title are not ones she wants to deal with. Jungeun knows they will be worse. And with the Fioren Ball a day away, Jungeun is keenly aware that she will have to face those critics sooner than she would like.
Honestly, though, Jungeun is more afraid of potentially having to face the one person she isn’t ready to see.
“Do you think Jinsol will be there?” Jungeun asks, her voice trembles over her name. Heejin looks at her friend out of the corner of her eye. When Jungeun first arrived at the palace, she was a mess. There were rarely nights that Heejin wasn’t in the other woman’s room holding her as guilt ridden sobs wracked her body. Those nights had been difficult for the both of them. And even though they have shared many secrets over the years, Jungeun has never told Heejin the full extent of her feelings for Jinsol. All Heejin really knows is that Jungeun left without saying much to Jinsol. She assumes that Jungeun had felt, and maybe still feels, guilty for leaving her best friend behind.
“I assume she will be,” Heejin says. “Krystal, Yerin, and Jinsol are all eligible suitors.”
Jungeun deflates, “Oh, right…”
They continue their walk toward the palace. Jungeun can see guards in the distance watching them carefully. She still isn’t used to being watched like a hawk at all times. Heejin reaches down and latches their hands together. The princess squeezes Jungeun's hand and pulls them to a stop.
“We don’t have to go.”
Jungeun shakes her head. “It’s our first event since our engagement. We’re obligated to make an appearance.”
Heejin smiles, eye widening in surprise, “I didn’t think you paid much attention in those meetings with Jiwoo.”
“This arrangement is to help both of us,” Jungeun shrugs. “I’m going to do my best to be a good partner to you. Even if that means going to this ball.”
The smile that graces Heejin’s face is tender. Squeezing Jungeun’s hand again, Heejin continues their walk back to the palace.
“You’re going to be a great Queen, Eun.”
Jungeun does her best not to retreat at the statement. She barely learned what it took to be a Lady, a daughter of Duchesses. There is very little belief in herself that she will do well as a Queen. But she’s going to try. For Heejin, she’ll try.
“Are you sure you’re ready for the ball?” Heejin spares a glance at Jungeun. Going up the steps to the palace, the guards greet them, but Jungeun remains staring at her feet. Jungeun hears the real question: is she ready to see Jinsol.
She knows she’s not.
“More like are you ready for the stares.” They pass through the front doors into the foyer. Grand staircases curve up both sides of the room. A large chandelier dangles from the ceiling. Crystals on the chandelier casting little rainbows all around them. “People are going to question your decision to make me your queen.”
Spinning her around, Heejin regards Jungeun carefully. It’s not the first time the princess has heard the noblewoman speak down on herself. Heejin isn’t blind, she has been around those toxic nobles long enough to hear the things people say about Jungeun. She’s been on the receiving end of those words most her life as well. Unlike with herself, Heejin doesn’t let those words about Jungeun cloud her own views of the woman.
“Pay them no mind,” Heejin says as she locks her eyes on Jungeun’s. “They don’t define your worth. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed, just hold my hand. I’ll be next to you all night. No one will dare to cross me.”
The corners of Jungeun’s lips turn up. “Yeah, because they’re afraid of you.”
Heejin forces a laugh and turns away from Jungeun. She watches the refracted light shimmer on the walls. “I don’t know why I have that reputation,” she sighs.
“Um, maybe because you act serious all the time,” Jungeun stares at Heejin’s back. She sees the way her shoulders tense. “When I first met you, I didn’t expect you to be as compassionate or funny as you actually are.”
“Oh…” Heejin’s mind races with the words Sooyoung had said to her a few months ago. She wants so badly to be the best queen, she just didn’t think about the other aspects outside of her legal obligations. Hearing this from Jungeun makes it even more real. She scares people. People don’t want to approach her. What kind of queen does that make her? Heejin pushes the thoughts down. Turning with a forced grin, she says, “Come on, you can watch me spar with Somi today.”
Jungeun laughs, choosing to let Heejin avoid the topic. “You mean watch you get your ass kicked? I’m in.”
Rolling her eyes, Heejin takes Jungeun’s hand and leads them to the sparring room. She ignores the thoughts of her ineptitude to rule. Instead, she focuses on the feel of their intertwined hands and the way Jungeun runs her thumb over Heejin’s knuckles.
That afternoon, Sooyoung sits in front of the Parliament with Prime Minister Handong beside her. Members of Parliament sit at long desks, microphones stationed in front of each seat. Rows and rows of eyes stare back at her. It’s not often Sooyoung is required to be at these meetings. She’s often only needed to approve laws. However, she does come to sit in and hear the questions and debates raised by the members of parliament. Today is no different. But as she’s sitting here listening to the members of parliament discuss issues, she realizes where the discussion is going.
“While we’re on the topic of the future of the crown,” Lord Wooyoung says, turning his head to look at Sooyoung, “when is Princess Heejin going to marry? Her and Lady Jungeun have been engaged for three months and there has been no talk of a wedding.”
“Excuse me?” Sooyoung furrows her brows, a frown forming on her lips.
“It is taking far too long for Princess Heejin to marry,” Viscount Dongwoo answers. There’s murmurs of agreement through the chamber. Prime Minister Handong bangs her gavel quieting the noise.
“If she does not marry soon, we will have no choice but to move to the next eligible family,” Baron Chen says. Sooyoung glances around the chamber, her gaze icy as it lands on each and every member of parliament. More voices begin to chime in stating their worry for the crown, for the country, for the people.
“We fear that Princess Heejin isn’t ready, that she isn’t committed wholly to the responsibilities of the crown,” Lord Wooyoung says, garnering more hums of agreement.
“Enough.” Sooyoung stands from her seat, her voice booming through the chamber. “I know my place on this throne has always been a temporary one. No one wants me off this throne more than myself, you all know this. Many of you have known me since I was a child. But you will not rush Heejin on this. She has sacrificed her childhood for her country, for her people...for you . My niece will marry when she is ready and you will accept that.”
Members of Parliament shift their gaze around the chamber at one another. Sooyoung refuses to pull her gaze from theirs. She will not stand down. Years have passed and she has listened to some of the same men tell her what she should do, what Heejin should do. Sooyoung has heard all the terrible things these men have said about her niece and her ability to rule. But she has seen how much work Heejin has put in, the dedication she has to this country. Sooyoung would be damned if she sat by and let the members of parliament bully her niece into a corner.
Lord Jackson stands. A hush falls over the room. His gaze lands on Sooyoung’s. He is a respected member of the parliament. Everyone knows not to go against him, even Sooyoung. She knows whatever he says next will be the final comment on this matter. Her breath freezes in her lungs.
“Princess Heejin has one year from her engagement to marry. If she does not, she forfeits the crown to the Im family.” Lord Jackson takes a seat. Not even moments later, Prime Minister Handong bangs her gavel and the session ends. Sooyoung leaves the chamber without speaking to anyone. Her hands balled into fists and her jaw is clenched tightly.
Sooyoung’s footsteps echo through the hall as she stomps toward the sparring room. She’s livid. Though her time as queen has been spent counting down the days until she can be rid of the crown, Sooyoung hasn’t once thought to force her niece into something she isn’t ready for. Heejin and Jungeun have only been engaged a handful of months.
Sure, they’ve been friends for several years, but that’s different. They’re learning how to work as a unit. And, maybe the parliament isn’t entirely wrong. Sooyoung has her own reservations about Heejin’s ability to rule, but it has nothing to do with her commitment to the country. There is no one that has as much dedication to Statera than Heejin. The only issue, the only thing that Sooyoung worries about, and Heejin’s emotional well-being.
Sooyoung remembers the day she told her nieces that Sunmi and Seokjin died. She remembers the days and weeks that followed. The anger that Somi spent her days feeling. The numbness that Heejin showed. Their lives haven’t been the same since they lost their parents. But Somi has learned to express herself better while Heejin has kept everything so tightly tucked away inside. Sooyoung worries about the day Heejin opens that box; unravels that rope and releases all the emotions she has been terrified to feel. She’s afraid of the explosion that will follow.
Rounding the corner, Sooyoung almost crashes into someone. She dodges them at the last minute and turns, ready to shout at them. Her anger fizzles when she realizes it’s Jungeun. Heejin and Somi stand next to her, both staring at their Aunt with wide eyes.
“Uh, Auntie Soo, are you okay?” Somi asks hesitantly, taking in the scowl on Sooyoung’s face.
“Yes,” Sooyoung takes a deep breath and unclenches her hands. “It was a rough meeting today.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Heejin steps closer to her, but Sooyoung waves her off.
“I’m going to blow off some steam.” The three nod mutely as Sooyoung stalks away down the hall.
It doesn’t take her long to reach the gym. She shrugs off her blazer and puts her gloves on as she approaches the punching bag. With a deep breath, Sooyoung gets into her stance, eyes focusing on the punching bag and nothing else. Loud smacks echo throughout the room as her gloves start to hit the bag. She’s quick, always moving around the bag. Her punches hitting the bag in rapid snaps.
With each punch she lands on the bag, another face of a member of parliament appears in her mind. Their smug faces and lack of empathy. Only concerned for the crown and not those who wear it.
Sooyoung isn’t startled when she sees Jiwoo approach out of the corner of her eye. And she doesn’t stop hitting the punching bag either. The royal adviser always seems to know where to find her.
“I ran into the girls,” Jiwoo says. She receives a grunt in response. “They told me you had some issues with the parliament today.”
“They never listen,” Sooyoung says, each word punctuated with a punch. Jiwoo stands back as Sooyoung continues her assault on the punching bag, never staying in one spot. “They yank me around and I’m tired of it. And they think Heejin is a—a pawn that they can do with as they please. She’s a person and they just—ugh!” Sooyoung hits the punching bag harder, faster. The smacks of the glove hitting the bag fills the space between words.
“You’re doing your best,” Jiwoo tries to reassure her. She’s seen her girlfriend angry at parliament many times, but this is a new rage. Not one at their incompetence but rather at the parliament’s inhumanity regarding her family. Jiwoo knows better than to get in the way of Sooyoung while she’s trying to shake off this feeling.
“Am I?” Sooyoung pauses and looks at Jiwoo. The fire in Sooyoung’s eyes is met with the calm of Jiwoo’s gaze. She turns back to the bag and continues. “I’m so hell bent on getting off this throne I’m basically forcing Heejin into an arranged marriage.”
“If she didn’t marry, she’d lose everything. She knows it. You know it. I’m not saying it’s right, but she has prepared her whole life for this.”
“She’s just a kid!” Sooyoung hits the punching bag hard and it swings away from her. “I—I was just a kid! Heejin shouldn’t have to bear this responsibility so young…none of us should.”
Later in the day, Heejin sits in her room, the family photo album open in her lap. Somi and Jungeun have long since disappeared to do their own things, leaving Heejin alone looking at her parents' photographs. Her mom and dad smile at her in the photograph. Their arm in arm, standing proudly in front of the garden at the palace. Flowers of all kinds are in full bloom behind them. Bright colors a contrast to their white and pastel colored attire. Heejin runs a finger over the photo, her throat tight. This is really all she has left of them. These photographs and the memory of the words they left her with.
She hasn’t been able to stop thinking about what Jungeun said earlier. That people are afraid of her, that they think she’s unapproachable and unkind. That even Jungeun had been afraid to talk to her. People see her and turn the other way. They don’t take the time to get to know her and get past the thorns. They take her at face value and decide instead to be afraid of her.
No one has taken the time to really get to know her. To see her for who she actually is and not the person she pretends to be in the eye of the public. Maybe that’s her own fault for being abrasive. But even when she was younger, she was not a people person. She shied away from interactions and social events. Hiding behind her mom or dad. Pretending to be sick or tired just to leave early. And maybe that would have continued to work if she wasn’t the eldest, if she wasn’t the one in line for the throne.
Now she has to put herself in the public eye. She has to stand tall, hold her head high, interact with people who sneer in her direction or talk behind her back. Heejin hates every minute of those events. She hates them even more without her parents here with her. There’s no one to hide behind, no one to lift her up and tell her that what she’s doing is right. Sure, Sooyoung is there for Heejin, but Heejin doesn’t want to let her in. She doesn’t want to let anyone in.
Maybe that’s how she got in this position in the first place. To this place where people are scared of her. To this place where people don’t think she is kind or caring.
Her dad once told her not to let what others think of her get under her skin. But does that count now? Does that count when the very thing people are saying about her can get in her way of being queen?
Her whole life has revolved around preparing to assume the throne. Every part of her life has been determined for her from the classes she takes to the people she meets. Even to who she can and should marry. There isn’t a single part of her life that is within her control except for how she presents herself. This is all Heejin has absolute control over and she’s messing it up.
She looks back down at the photograph of her parents. They’re still smiling, still looking proud. Her heart clenches.
“I just want to make you proud,” Heejin whispers to her parents in the photograph, “but I feel like I’m failing you instead.”
She turns the page. Tears threaten to fall when she sees her parents holding her as a baby. A little tiara sits crooked on her head. Her mom and dad are smiling so brightly at her in the photo. Tiny fingers curled around theirs, the three of them lost in their own world. Heejin knows they dreamed so big for her, that they thought she would become the greatest Queen to rule Statera.
She doubts they would think that now.
A tear tumbles out of her eye splattering against the pages.
Heejin shuts the photo album, wiping furiously at her eyes. The tightness in her throat doesn’t lessen. She can’t breathe, no air she sucks in does anything to relieve the pressure on her chest. It’s too much.
She takes several deep breaths trying to will all that pain to disappear. It’s with shaking hands that Heejin tucks the album into the draw next to her bed. When the draw thuds shut, her mask falls back into place. Thoughts of what her parents would think of her now firmly hidden away.
Meanwhile, Jungeun has managed to find a moment to herself. She sits out by the lake, hidden away in the little spot Heejin has been taking her to. The weeping cherry tree sways in the wind as Jungeun watches the sun dip into the horizon. Ducks splash as they land in the water causing ripples to pulse toward the shore. Jungeun lifts her gaze to the sky. She watches the pinkish cloud drift and tries to find shapes in them.
Despite the sense of peace that fills her sitting here, her heart throbs as memories of Jinsol resurface. They used to spend afternoons laying on the lawn watching the clouds. She misses Jinsol more than she’s willing to admit. She misses these quiet moments where Jinsol would lay beside her silently. There wasn’t a need for words, though Jinsol would always fill it with some joke just to hear Jungeun laugh. They’d point out ridiculous shapes in the clouds and chase the sun’s light as it faded away. And when the stars came out they would do it all over again. Make shapes and stories and wonder what kind of worlds existed all the way out there.
Jungeun wishes there’s a world where her and Jinsol could have been more than friends. Where she had the guts to tell the blonde princess how she felt long before she made a commitment to Heejin. But even in her made up world, Jungeun knows she wouldn’t have felt confident enough to do that. Jinsol grew up with the same people Jungeun did. She heard all the nasty words people would sling at Jungeun. People already don’t think she’s worthy of Heejin. She can’t imagine what they would say about the beloved Jung Princess.
At least Heejin is like her. Under the scrutiny of so many. At least Heejin understands what it’s like to be on the outside and she’s protected Jungeun this far. Jinsol is perfect and she didn’t need Jungeun dragging her down anymore.
That’s why she hasn’t reached out to Jinsol since she left.
Jungeun hasn’t explained or apologized to Jinsol. She hasn’t talked to the other woman in three months. Each day is harder than the last. There are days where she drafts several texts to Jinsol only to delete. Nothing she writes is good enough. Nothing she has to say is going to erase the hurt she caused them both.
Try as she might, the image of Jinsol’s face as Jungeun told her about her engagement is burned in her mind. The way the light in the blonde’s eyes faded, all traces of hope vanishing. Jungeun can still feel the tight grip Jinsol had on her hand as they sat by the piano. She left her sitting there by herself. She didn’t even say anything as she left, she just stood and walked out of the room. And when that door was closing behind her, Jungeun heard the broken sob Jinsol let out.
It took all her will power to leave the Jung’s palace.
Jungeun knows that if she talks to Jinsol she will fall apart. And she’s kept it together for this long. As much as it hurts. As much as she longs for Jinsol. She knows she can’t have her, can’t risk falling back into the arms she once called home.
No, this is her home now. It’s time for her to start really letting go.
“Lady Jungeun,” a voice calls from behind her. Turning, she sees Jungkook standing there at the trunk of the weeping cherry tree.
“We’ve talked about this, Jungkook,” Jungeun rolls her eyes with a smile.
“Habit,” He laughs. “Princess Heejin is worried about you, she said you weren’t answering your phone.”
“I left it in my room.” A splash sounds from behind them, both turn to see another duck moving through the water. “I hope you weren’t looking for me for too long.”
He shakes his head, “Not at all. Heejin knew exactly where you’d be.”
Jungeun stands and brushes herself off. A tiny smile tugs at her lips. “Is there a reason she needs me?”
Jungkook shrugs, “I think she said something about packing.”
Jungeun’s heart sinks and her stomach twists into knots. She tries to keep her face neutral as reality hits her. One day. More like one sleep and she’ll have to face Jinsol again. Swallowing the lump forming in her throat, she nods at Jungkook.
“Right, the Fioren Ball.”
“Yes! That’s it. She wants to make sure you both have everything ready to go. You leave in the morning.” Jungkook gestures toward the palace. “Let me walk you back, it’s getting dark.”
“Of course, thank you.” The pair fall into stride beside each other. Jungeun doesn’t have the energy or clarity to hold a conversation. All that she can think about is Jinsol. Three months of evading phone calls and text messages—Jinsol even sent her emails. And now Jungeun is going to have to face that. She has to face Jinsol who is more than likely going to be at Hyunjin’s ball. At a ball intended to find the Fioren Princess a partner. A ball where Jinsol is going to be one of those suitors.
Jungeun thinks she’s going to be sick.
Notes:
Update tomorrow is finally the ball! Catfish and Heelip in the same building...wonder what's gonna happen.
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Chapter Text
Chapter Eight: The Ball
The days leading up to the ball have left Hyunjin’s stomach in knots. The hours before the ball are even worse. Hyunjin wants nothing to do with this. She isn’t sure there are any other ways to confess that. Even her mantra about duty doesn’t quell the anxiety rising inside her. That anxiety builds as each minute passes and she realizes the amount of faking she’ll have to do. A night full of dancing with strangers who want her crown and empty promises that she knows will never be filled. There will be no racing hearts or trembling hands. No longing gazes or being swept off her feet.
Hyunjin isn’t going to fall in love tonight.
Tonight, Hyejoo and Yerim are following beside her as she walks through the halls of the palace. Their heels clack against the tile as they move toward the ballroom. Both Hyejoo and Yerim are jittery with the pressure of making sure Hyunjin is safe and on time. This is a trial run for them to see where they need more training before they take over Haseul and Wendy’s duties. Hyunjin tries to reassure them that she will be on her best behavior tonight, but Hyejoo and Yerim know their best friend. They know Hyunjin well enough to be nervous as the doors to the ballroom come into sight.
“The Cat is at the doors,” Hyejoo murmurs into the mic in her collar. She turns to Hyunjin, “I hate calling you that. Can’t I refer to you as something more fitting? Like...the idiot or something.”
Hyunjin rolls her eyes as she plays with the soft material of her dress. “I don’t think you should refer to royalty like that.”
“But you’re a royal pain in my—”
“They’re ready for you,” Yerim interrupts. She looks at Hyejoo, “Tonight she’s not just our best friend, she’s our soon-to-be Queen, Hye. We need to act professional.”
Hyejoo glances around the empty hallway, “No one is around to hear me.” Yerim gives her a pointed look. “I was only trying to lighten the mood…”
The trio fall silent. Hyejoo is well aware of the pressure that Hyunjin feels going into this ball. Yerim does, too. It’s been a topic they’ve simultaneously avoided and discussed at length.
Yerim had worked hard helping Haseul plan the ball. She wants to make sure the night will run smoothly for Hyunjin. The last thing Yerim wants is for her best friend to have to worry more than she already has been.
Hyejoo, on the other hand, has been deflecting. She cracks jokes to make her friend laugh and teases her endlessly. This ball is a signal that everything in their lives is beginning to change for real this time. It’s not one of those moments where they can look at each other and laugh because Hyunjin’s coronation is a few years away. This time it’s closer than ever and it starts with this ball. So Hyejoo pokes fun at her best friend to give her a semblance of familiarity. So at least Hyunjin knows that some things will stay the same.
Reaching out her hands, Hyunjin brings Hyejoo and Yerim into a hug.
“You both are going to do well tonight,” she whispers, clutching them tighter. She’s proud of the work they’ve been putting into their roles. There’s nothing she wants more than to see them succeed. Well, that’s not true. Hyunjin wants this ball to be over; to make it disappear. Knowing that Hyejoo and Yerim will be close by soothes some of the anxiety, but there is still the whole night ahead. A whole night of ass kissing and pretending she cares for the nobility that are vying for her hand in marriage; for her crown.
“Thanks, Hyun,” Hyejoo says with Yerim nodding in agreement. They break out of their embrace. Hyunjin runs her hands down her dress, smoothing out the material. She takes a deep breath and faces the double doors.
“You can do this,” Yerim says, squeezing Hyunjin’s hand. “We’ll be close by if you need us.”
“And if you need a break, let me know and I’ll sneak you out,” Hyejoo grins. The trio give each other one more supportive smile before Hyunjin steals herself for what’s to come. Hyejoo mutters into her collar and the footman on the other side of the door hits his staff on the floor.
“Presenting, Her Royal Highness, Kim-Wong Hyunjin, Princess of Fiore,” the footman announces, his voice drifting through the doors. At the sound of his staff hitting the floor, the double doors swing open in front of Hyunjin revealing the ballroom filled with nobles. Her smile is cordial as she greets her guests.
“Thank you for being here today.” Her voice floats through the room as her eyes scan the crowd. She’s sure to make eye contact with her guests, to keep her smile soft and pleasant. In this moment, Hyunjin is the epitome of grace. And as Vivi watches her daughter stand tall amongst the heavy gazes of the guests, she has never felt more proud. “I know many of you have traveled quite a distance to be here today, and I look forward to getting to know each of you.”
Turning, Hyunjin gestures to Yerim to turn the music back on. Gentle string music fills the ballroom and the guests break off to chat with each other. Hyunjin doesn’t get a chance to breathe before a man approaches her and asks her for a dance. With a forced smile, Hyunjin takes his offered hand and allows him to lead her in a waltz. As charming as the man is and as perfect his words sound, none of it stirs anything within her. By the time another suitor appears to dance with her, Hyunjin has already forgotten all about the man. And she’s sure that will be the same as this Duchess spins her around the dance floor, sweet words going in one of Hyunjin’s ears and out the other.
That’s how her night begins, being passed from suitor to suitor. And that’s how her night is going to continue, being shuffled around like a commodity.
Earlier, Heejin and Jungeun stand at the front of the palace before the ball begins. Guests stream past them into the palace as they wait for Jungeun’s Moms. Throughout the years, Heejin has met the Duchesses on several occasions. They’re not strangers by any means. But, meeting them as Jungeun’s fiancée...that brings an entirely new meaning to their relationship. Sure, Heejin only views Jungeun as a friend. And sure, maybe Heejin has met Sowon and Eunha at events as a Princess. None of that deters her brain from imagining every possible way this meeting could go wrong.
“Stop worrying so much,” Jungeun grabs one of Heejin’s hands. She’s been watching Heejin fiddle with her rose necklace for several minutes now. “They love you.”
“From what you told me, they were appalled at the idea.” Heejin groans and buries her face against Jungeun’s neck. Jungeun has to tilt her head away slightly to avoid being poked by Heejin’s tiara.
“Hey, hey, listen,” Jungeun forces Heejin to look up at her. “My parents were upset that I did this to help them with the finances, not because I chose to marry you.”
“Oh, great, now I just look like I’m throwing money at you.” Heejin drops her forehead back against Jungeun’s neck. The older woman wraps her arms around Heejin and shakes her head.
“Remember what you told me the other day?” Jungeun side steps to move them out of the way of the approaching guests. Cars with various country flags roll up the long driveway to the front of the palace. Nobles that walk by give her a distasteful look before preceding inside. She knows it has nothing to do with the position they’re in, but rather who she is. Jungeun has heard time and time again the names they call her. As much as it hurts, her only concern right now is the distraught princess in her arms. “You told me that the people who judge me don’t define my worth. The same goes for you, Heejin. Any opinions my moms have, they don’t define you. But, they’re going to love you, because you love me.”
“Of course, I love you,” Heejin says, standing up straight. Her eyes search Jungeun’s face, “you’re my best friend.”
“Just be you. The you that takes care of me and makes me laugh, not the cold Princess you pretend to be,” Jungeun tucks a piece of Heejin’s hair back into place, careful not to bump the tiara. “Now, take a deep breath, because my parents have arrived.”
Heejin lets out an audible squeak. Her heart rate picks up despite the soothing words Jungeun has imparted on her. She fusses with her dress as she spins to face the car that has pulled up in front of the palace. Jungeun offers her hand to Heejin, who gratefully accepts it. Their hands intertwine as Heejin leans into her fiancée. Both do their best to remain strong for the other.
One of the members of the Kim-Wong’s staff opens the door to the Duchesses car. Jungeun shifts on her feet anticipating seeing her moms. They have spoken on the phone often, but life at the Jeon Palace has been hectic and she hasn’t been able to see them since she moved out. As badly as Jungeun wants to run into her mom and mama’s arms, she stays rooted in her spot beside Heejin.
“Whoa,” Heejin mutters as Sowon steps out of the car. Sowon’s blonde hair fans in front of her face as she gathers her dress in her hand. She gracefully gets out of the car, her face a mask of perfection. Heejin leans closer to Jungeun, “does your Mom always look this good getting out of a car?”
Jungeun blushes but doesn’t get a chance to answer as both her moms approach. Letting go of Heejin’s hand, Jungeun steps into the waiting arms of Eunha who shakes her daughter as she hugs her tightly.
“My baby,” Eunha repeats as she hugs Jungeun. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I missed you, too, Mom,” Jungeun says. Sowon steps up to them both and wraps them in her arms. “And you too, Mama.”
Heejin stands back and watches as Jungeun is wrapped up in so much love. A twinge of pain hits her chest as she thinks of her parents. While she gets introduced formally to Jungeun’s Moms, Jungeun will never get to meet Heejin’s. And as they turn around to finally face Heejin, she forces a wobbly smile on her lips, one that Jungeun notices immediately. She moves to her fiancée’s side and puts an arm around her waist.
“Mom, Mama, this is Heejin,” Jungeun introduces the Princess even though her parents know very well who the woman is beside their daughter.
“Your Highness,” Sowon says with slight curtsy.
“Please, call me Heejin, we’re going to be family after all.” The three Kim’s smile brightly at Heejin. “Shall we head inside?”
“I’d love to get to know you better over a glass of champagne,” Eunha laughs. The young couple lead the way into the palace toward the ballroom. With both of her Moms backs turned to them, Jungeun kisses Heejin’s cheek. No words need to be passed between them for Heejin to know what it means; for Heejin to know Jungeun is there for her.
It’s later in the evening when Jungeun sees Jinsol for the first time. After a few glasses of champagne and sharing stories of what life at the Jeon Palace is like, she spots Jinsol across the ballroom. The blonde princess is near the doors speaking with her sister, Jessica. It’s in that moment that Jungeun realizes she isn’t remotely prepared to see her.
She wants to run, to leave, but she has no idea where Heejin had disappeared to. Jungeun scans the ballroom for her frantically with no luck locating her. She remembers her fiancée saying she needed some air, that she would be right back, but that was a while ago. Jungeun had been caught up talking to her parents that she was okay being without Heejin at her side. Then her parents had walked off to do their rounds and now Jungeun is left to handle this alone.
Every fiber of her being is telling her to duck out into the courtyard, to hide away so Jinsol can’t see her. But the universe has a funny way of working.
As Jungeun is scanning for an inconspicuous escape route, her eyes lock with Jinsol’s. Air is knocked out of her lungs. The hardened gaze that meets her panicked one sends Jungeun’s heart into a frenzy. It’s not like Jungeun was expecting the warm gaze that Jinsol once regarded her with. She wasn’t expecting an open armed reunion. Jungeun just isn’t prepared for the look of resentment that stares back at her.
Jinsol tilts her head towards the door and walks off after saying something to her sister. Despite the trembling of her body, Jungeun places her glass down on a table and follows Jinsol.
She finds her in an alcove further down the hallway away from the ballroom. The music from the ballroom is faint in the background as Jungeun approaches the blonde. Neither speak for a moment, trying to get past the tension that is hanging in the air around them.
“What are you doing here?” Jinsol speaks up first, though she keeps her gaze trained on the floor. She can’t look at Jungeun, not yet. Not with pain clearly written on her face.
“Queen Vivi extended the invitation,” Jungeun shrugs. “It was, um...well, she wanted to congratulate me and Heejin. Personally.” Jungeun swallows thickly, clenching her jaw as she waits for Jinsol to look up. Half wanting the blonde not to look up at all.
Jinsol scoffs with a shake of her head. “Right, congratulations, Lady Jungeun.” Her words are laced with bitterness that Jungeun feels down to her bones.
“Jin…” Jungeun reaches out only for Jinsol to flinch away from.
“Don’t,” Jinsol says, finally lifting her gaze. Jungeun bites her lip. She isn’t sure how to process the heartbroken eyes staring up at her.
“I—I didn’t expect to see you here,” Jungeun tries again.
“Did you expect me to sit at home and cry over you for longer?”
“No—No, that’s not…” Jungeun sighs and looks away. Her eyes land on the ball in the distance. She can make out the bodies whirling around the ballroom and wishes she had followed Heejin outside instead. Jungeun’s heart is heavy in her chest. The distance between her and Jinsol is too much to bear. All she wants is to go back to laying in the grass and watching the clouds. To go back to all the times she should have told Jinsol exactly how she feels about her.
“You left me,” Jinsol says so softly that Jungeun almost misses it. With shaking hands, Jinsol forces herself to keep her gaze on Jungeun.
Taking a deep breath, Jungeun turns around and faces Jinsol. “Just because I left doesn’t mean I stopped loving you.”
The moment those words fall from her lips, Jungeun wants to take them back. It isn’t fair of her to say that. And Jinsol is looking at her with a mix of rage and misery. The blonde’s hands are clenched at her side and the unshed tears finally fall. She steps closer to Jungeun and yet they still feel like they’ve never been further apart.
“You don’t get to do this,” Jinsol’s voice shakes. “You don’t get to tell me that, Jungeun. You chose Heejin. I deserve the chance to move on, too.”
Jungeun is left frozen in her spot as Jinsol rushes away from. She could race after her and beg her to listen. To let her explain why she had to choose Heejin. But it won’t make a difference.
Blonde hair disappears around the corner and Jungeun is left alone in the hallway. Passing nobles sneer in her direction. This time she welcomes the disgust aimed at her.
Meanwhile, out in the garden, Hyunjin wanders through the flowers. Her fingers brush against the petals bathed in moonlight and the faint glow of the lamps. Hyejoo stands out of sight, near the greenhouse off to the side, keeping a close eye on her best friend. She had helped Hyunjin escape from the ball if only for a brief moment of solitude, to collect her thoughts. But it’s been longer than the few minutes Hyunjin had promised her. Hyejoo doesn’t have the heart to force her back into a room filled with terrible dancers and boring conversations. For now, she gives Hyunjin the space she needs. At least until someone comes looking for her.
Hyunjin is tired of the dancing and the ass kissing. Tired of all the men and women who spin her around the dance floor and don’t try to get to know her. They only talk about themselves and what they have to offer. There’s only so many times she can hear about how they’re doing and how much they can do for Fiore before she loses it.
She scoffs to herself, “No one even asks how I am.”
Throughout the night Hyunjin has endured relentless bragging on the part of her suitors. As if she would choose a partner because of material things they have to offer.
If her mom wouldn’t kill her for ditching the ball, she would stay in the garden all night. But she knows better. Hyunjin is well aware of her duties.
Behind her she hears Hyejoo talking into the mic again. “I know Yerim, but she just—she needs a minute okay? Look, she may be Queen soon but she’s our friend first. Yes, I will take care of her. She’ll be back inside soon.”
“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin turns to say. Hyejoo shakes her head. “We can go back, I don’t want you getting in trouble because of me.”
“It’s not my job to boss you around, it’s my job to keep you safe,” Hyejoo says. “We’ll go back in when you feel ready to.” She melts back into the shadows leaving Hyunjin seemingly in isolation among the flowers.
Hyunjin sits on the bench facing the fountain in the middle of the garden. The lights in the fountain illuminate the water as it flows down the tiers. Hyunjin breathes deeply, taking in the soft trickle of the water. After dealing with constant chatter and fake smiles, she’s thankful for the break. She’s sure her mom is wondering where she disappeared to. Though, Vivi will be understanding that Hyunjin needs this moment to herself. Hyunjin is beyond overwhelmed and the longer she spent surrounded by people the more likely she was to implode. And that’s the last thing Hyunjin or Vivi want to happen tonight.
She promises herself she will only be out here for a few more minutes to collect her thoughts. She only wants to get a break from the terrible dancers and boring conversationalists. None of the nobles have piqued her interest. None have swept her off her feet or left her breathless. And really, the only person Hyunjin wants to see tonight is nowhere to be found.
Rustling of the bushes behind Hyunjin pulls her attention away from the fountain. She catches sight of someone approaching and she wonders if Jinsol has finally appeared. But, as the figure gets closer, and the light from the lamp shines on them, Hyunjin realizes it’s not her.
“Princess Heejin, hello,” Hyunjin says, standing to face the woman. Heejin’s eyes widen and she sheepishly smiles.
“Princess Hyunjin, I—I’m sorry, I did not mean to interrupt your alone time.” Briefly, Heejin wonders if Hyunjin is going to make an excuse to leave. But the other Princes just smiles and waves her off.
“Don’t worry about it. I only needed to get away from the ball for a little bit.”
“Me too,” Heejin shuffles in her spot.
“You’re more than welcome to join me. If you would like, that is.” Hyunjin sits back on the bench. She isn’t surprised when Heejin appears beside her to take a seat.
“How are you doing tonight?” Heejin asks. Both are watching the falling water in the fountain. In the shadows, Hyejoo watches the pair with curiosity.
Glancing at Heejin, Hyunjin mulls over the question. She watches the way the other Princess’s tiara sparkles in the lamp light. How her eyes are focused so intently on the fountain in front of them. Hyunjin thinks that maybe, out of everyone here tonight, Heejin is the one person who will understand how she feels.
“I am...not great, but I have to be,” Hyunjin says tentatively. Beside her, Heejin hums and nods her head. Before silence can fall between them, Hyunjin speaks again. “I remember the first time we met.”
Heejin finally turns to Hyunjin, surprised to find her already looking. She blushes under the gaze, her smile softening at the memory of five-year-old Hyunjin. Heejin can still recall the calm that she felt that day with Hyunjin. Terribly shy and out of her comfort zone, little Hyunjin had done her best to fill Heejin's silence with talking and jokes. She can see not much has changed.
“You were a natural with that bow,” Heejin says. “Do you still do archery?”
“Yeah, it’s one of my favorite things to do. It helps clear my head,” Hyunjin looks past Heejin where Hyejoo is slowly turning in circles. The friend’s look at each other a moment before Hyejoo turns again. “What about you? What do you do?”
“To clear my head?” Hyunjin hums in affirmation. “I spar with my sister, Somi, or with Sooyoung.”
“You beat up the Queen?” Hyunjin’s eyes widen comically. Heejin can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of her.
“Yes. She is the Queen of Statera, but she’s my Aunt first. Sooyoung taught me and Somi when we were growing up,” Heejin shrugs. “You like to shoot pointy things at a target, I like to hit my sister in the face.”
“To each their own,” Hyunjin laughs and Heejin thinks it’s the most beautiful sight she’s ever seen.
“Have you ever sparred?” Heejin tries desperately to derail her thoughts of the princess sitting in front of her. Little does Heejin know that Hyunjin is thinking the same thing about her. The two little moles on Heejin’s face remind Hyunjin of the stars, and she wonders if maybe the woman before her holds a galaxy within her.
Hyunjin nods, tearing her gaze away from Heejin. “My guard likes to make me train with her to keep me out of trouble.”
“Your Highness, are you causing trouble in the palace?” Heejin says, a playful lilt to her voice.
“They’re harmless pranks,” Hyunjin grins. “You can’t tell me you’ve never pulled a prank.”
Heejin feigns a gasp, “I am a well-behaved princess.”
“Well-behaved or uptight?” Hyunjin’s eyes shine with a smile that doesn’t show on her lips. Heejin pushes her lightly and Hyejoo steps toward them but stops when she hears Hyunjin’s laughter. Her real laugh. The whole night Hyejoo has heard the polite, forced laughter from her best friend. But, right now, with this foreign princess, Hyunjin is shining brighter than she has since Vivi told her about the ball. Hyejoo retreats back into the shadows. Yerim calls through the earpiece that Hyunjin needs to come back soon, but Hyejoo ignores her. Their best friend looks happy for the first time in a long time. And even though Hyejoo is aware that Heejin is betrothed to another, she can’t get herself to break them apart.
Heejin isn’t sure how much time has passed when they loop back around to the topic of the ball. Hyunjin has her hysterically laughing as she imitates the Duke of Aster.
“I swear, he didn’t just have two left feet, Heejin. He danced like he had no feet,” Hyunjin groans, sitting back down. “I only know he has feet because he kept stepping on mine.”
“That’s awful!” Heejin shakes her head, a smile permanently stuck on her face. “I’ll have to show this Duke how to properly dance with a lady.”
Hyunjin snorts, “You? No, no, I’ve heard that you’re a hazard to yourself and everyone around you when you dance.”
“It was one time!” Heejin covers her face with her hands.
Hyunjin smiles at Heejin’s distress, “I would hope it hasn’t happened twice.”
Standing up, Heejin offers her hand to Hyunjin. “I’m going to prove to you I can dance without causing fires.”
“I don’t know, I’d rather my home didn’t burn to the ground,” Hyunjin says, but she takes Heejin’s hand anyway.
Heejin pushes down the fluttering in her stomach at the feel of Hyunjin’s hand in hers. She starts to walk with the Princess toward the ballroom when Jungeun steps out into the garden. Heejin releases Hyunjin’s hand as if it burned her and she puts some distance between them. Hyunjin notices the reaction, choosing to ignore the stinging sensation in her chest.
Jungeun glances between the two Princesses before walking closer. “Oh, finally, there you are, Heej.”
Heejin notices how Jungeun’s voice is scratchy and how her eyes look glossy. She reaches toward her as she speaks, “I’m sorry, I needed some air and ran into Hyunjin. Hyunjin, this is—um, she’s…”
“I’m her fiancée,” Jungeun says. Hyunjin’s stomach twists when she processes those words, but she puts on her signature polite smile.
“Ah, yes, Lady Jungeun, I remember you,” Hyunjin says, her eyes drifting toward Heejin. “Congratulations on your engagement.”
Though Heejin knows they did nothing but talk, she feels guilty for the time she spent with Hyunjin.
Jungeun bows her head slightly, “Thank you, Your Highness.”
Tension is palpable as silence settles between them. Hyejoo tries to stifle her laughter at Hyunjin’s obvious distress. She’s about to swoop in and guide Hyunjin back to the ball to at least save some of the princess’s dignity, but she’s too slow. Hyejoo watches with wide eyes as Jinsol steps out into the garden.
“Oh, Hyun,” Hyejoo grimaces. Though her second hand pain dissolves to curiosity when she sees Jungeun flinch at the arrival of someone else. Princess Jinsol gives no attention to Jungeun as she elegantly strides over to Hyunjin, a dazzling smile on her face.
“Your Highness, I have been looking for you everywhere,” Jinsol says. She’s keenly aware of Jungeun’s presence next to her as she reaches the group. But she refuses to look. “I got a bit lost trying to find you.”
“Perhaps, if you had come back more often, you would know the palace better,” Hyunjin jokes with a grin. Jinsol rolls her eyes, but throws her arms around Hyunjin’s waist, pulling her into a tight hug. She lifts Hyunjin up a little and twirls once before placing the Princess’s feet back on the ground. “I was starting to think you weren’t going to show up.”
“And miss my chance to sweep you off your feet? Absolutely not.” Jinsol and Hyunjin share a smile.
Jungeun clears her throat, clearly uncomfortable with that display of affection. Heejin glances at Jungeun and sees the scowl on her face. And as Hyunjin and Jinsol break apart, the scowl on Jungeun’s face doesn’t lessen. It’s then that Heejin realizes the crush she thought Jungeun got over when they were teenagers is still very much real. And it doesn’t look like it’s simply a crush anymore.
Turning to Heejin and Jungeun, Hyunjin offers a small smile. “If you’ll excuse us, Jinsol and I have some catching up to do.”
“Of course,” Heejin says past the tightness in her throat. “It was lovely talking with you, Hyunjin.”
“I hope we can do it again sometime,” Hyunjin glances at Jungeun. “Enjoy the rest of your night.”
Heejin watches Hyunjin leave with Jinsol, their hands interlocked between them. Neither her or Jungeun say anything as the two women disappear back into the palace. They see Hyunjin’s guard come out from the shadows, muttering into her collar, and then they’re alone.
“You still love her,” Heejin whispers, refusing to meet Jungeun’s eyes.
“Yeah...I do,” Jungeun looks down at the ground, but still offers her hand to Heejin. And, not for the first time that night, a rock settles at the bottom of Heejin’s stomach. She made this arrangement without thinking about Jungeun’s feelings. All she wanted was to help herself and her best friend, but she didn’t realize that Jungeun had a chance at love. Jungeun had a chance of being with Jinsol, and Heejin ruined it. With heavy hearts, the couple walks back into the ballroom, plastering those well practiced smiles on their faces.
The hours have ticked by and Jinsol stands at the far edges of the ballroom. Her and Hyunjin had talked for a handful of minutes before the Fioren Princess was swept to the dance floor by Lady Yoohyeon who offered Jinsol a pinched smile. Jinsol watches the guests dancing in time in the middle of the ballroom as the song begins to shift into a traditional Fioren dance. She had spent time leading up to this ball learning what she could about Fiore. And the Fioren dance is one of the things she learned. Jinsol forced her guard back in Valo to learn the steps with her. The Fioren dance is similar to a slow foxtrot, but it has its own flare to it.
The new partner Hyunjin is dancing with halts on the floor as guests around them get into the starting position. He glances around and Hyunjin’s shoulders fall as she speaks. Jinsol strides over to the princess and taps her on the shoulder. She smiles at Hyunjin when their eyes lock, her hand outstretched. With a huff, the man stalks off the dance floor leaving Hyunjin with Jinsol.
As the music begins, Jinsol takes Hyunjin’s hand and kneels on the floor. Other guests on the dance floor follow suit. In sync with everyone, Jinsol gently presses her lips to Hyunjin’s knuckles. Their eyes still glued to each other. Jinsol stands as the music picks up. Stepping behind Hyunjin, Jinsol reaches around her waist and grabs both of the princess’s hands. Hyunjin leans back into the embrace as they slowly step together to the beat.
“You’re full of surprises,” Hyunjin breathes.
Jinsol smiles, “I did my homework.”
Releasing one of Hyunjin’s hands, Jinsol spins the woman out of her embrace. Hyunjin’s smile is delicate and brilliant as she looks back at Jinsol. Their arms outstretched toward one another. The blonde strides forward, one hand on Hyunjin’s waist, the other waiting for Hyunjin to clasp it. Jinsol leads them in time with the rest of the people dancing. Stepping slow, quick, quick, slow. Shifting weight and reversing. Hyunjin’s eyes never leave hers. Their legs glide between each other’s as they move with grace; with trust and ease in their movements. They’re rotating around the dance floor like planets lost in orbit. Everyone moves as if they are parts of a whole; beautifully in sync.
“You’re better than anyone else I’ve danced with tonight,” Hyunjin says as they spin. Jinsol garners the envious gazes of other suitors on the sidelines. Her grin widens when she sees the pure disbelief on Jungeun’s face.
“I assume you’re going to need to ice your feet then.”
Hyunjin’s eyes twinkle in the light when she laughs, “You have no idea. I can’t count how many times I was stepped on tonight. And it seems no one other than you bothered to learn my country’s dance.” Adoration rises within her as she looks at Jinsol. Her friend of many years who has always been there no matter what has happened, even if it’s from afar. Hyunjin is glad she can count on Jinsol after all these years.
“The audacity,” Jinsol grins. “I hope you were still able to have a good night.”
“It’s...had its moments.” The music is slowly coming to an end and Jinsol can feel Hyunjin tensing beneath her hands. “This is one of those moments. I’d rather it didn’t end.”
“No one says we have to stop dancing after this,” Jinsol suggests, though she knows very well the duties of a princess.
“I think many of these suitors are going to feel threatened by you now,” Hyunjin says and Jinsol’s heart leaps in her chest.
“Should they be threatened?” Jinsol leads them backward across the floor now, bodies whirling past them. The last chords of the song play out as Jinsol spins Hyunjin out of her arms once more. Except, this time, Hyunjin twirls back into her embrace, a shy smile on her lips.
“Yes.”
Later that night, after the ball has wound down and the guests have left, Vivi stands in front of her mirror in her suite with her back to Haseul. Wordlessly, Vivi moves her red hair over her shoulder, revealing the back of her dress. Haseul walks over to Vivi to help her out of her dress. Her fingers brush against the back of Vivi’s neck as she searches for the zipper. The sound of the zipper slowly coming undone fills the room and Vivi holds the fabric against her chest. She sucks in a breath when Haseul’s fingers linger on her back.
Haseul meets Vivi’s burning eyes in the reflection of the mirror. Vivi lets the dress fall, pooling around her feet. But Haseul doesn’t tear her eyes away from Vivi’s.
“You know,” Haseul whispers, “for someone who doesn’t want to be with me, you are always trying to seduce me.”
“I said I couldn’t be with you now, I never said I couldn’t be with you eventually,” Vivi says. Haseul’s heart hammers in her chest and it takes all her willpower to step away from the redhead and walk toward the closet. Vivi didn’t miss the heartbroken eyes Haseul cast her way before turning around. They are similar to her own looking back at her in the mirror.
“Let me change, you should, too.”
In the closet, Haseul takes a few deep breaths to slow the rapid beating of her heart. She wants to be with Vivi, she has for years. There are only so many times she can hear a rejection before she has to let it go. Vivi may say she can’t be with her right now, but Haseul knows better than anyone that Vivi has been saying that for years. It’s almost as if last week never happened, as if Vivi didn’t reject Haseul and the chance of true love once again. But, just like she has after every soft rejection, Haseul comes right back. Because, even if it hurts, even if she can’t breathe when she’s next to Vivi, it’s better than being without her.
A few minutes later, Haseul emerges from the closet in a pair of pajamas. She keeps a lot of her clothes in Vivi’s suite. They spend the night together most nights. They have since Kai passed. Her heart has calmed though her hands still shake when she goes to lay next to Vivi on the bed. They don’t talk about what just happened. Like all the other times, Haseul and Vivi don’t even mention it.
“Did you see Hyunjin tonight? She looked beautiful,” Vivi says. She smiles with pride.
“She did,” Haseul agrees. “Though she did disappear for awhile. I thought Yerim was going to pull all her hair out trying to get Hyejoo and Hyunjin to come back.”
They both laugh.
Vivi sighs, “I hate that she had to do this. As proud of her as I am, I couldn’t help but notice how miserable she looked at times.”
“She did well hiding it,” Haseul says. “Even when that Duke stepped on her feet like...ten times.”
“The Duke of Aster,” Vivi scoffs, “He’s far too old to be courting my daughter. Absolutely not.” She rubs the cloth of the blanket between her fingers, her teeth worrying at her lip.
“Do you think Hyunjin liked any of the suitors tonight?” Haseul reaches over and takes Vivi’s hand in hers. The Queen finds comfort in the gesture as Haseul’s thumb runs over her knuckles slowly.
Vivi smiles remembering how genuinely happy Hyunjin looked dancing with the young Jung Princess.
“I think she had a good time with Princess Jinsol,” Vivi says thoughtfully. “I was surprised myself to see how Jinsol knew the Fioren dance.”
“Mm, I noticed that, too. Jinsol was the only suitor who knew the steps to the dance.”
“It shows she’s serious,” Vivi turns on her side, looking at Haseul softly. “And Hyunjin just seemed...happy with her. This whole situation is shit and this law is outdated, but if Hyunnie can find some happiness…then I think I can be happy, too.”
Haseul doesn’t need to ask to know exactly what Vivi is saying. All she needs to do is look into those love filled eyes and she knows. Despite her frustration, despite the ache in her chest every time she is asked to wait a little bit longer, Haseul presses her lips to Vivi’s forehead.
Vivi is aware that it isn’t fair to keep asking Haseul to wait. She knows it’s entirely selfish of her. But the way she feels in Haseul’s arms as they curl into each other keeps her from letting this beautiful woman go. It may not be fair, it may not be right, but Vivi can’t lose Haseul, too. And, as much as Haseul hates the ambiguity of their relationship, she loves Vivi enough to wait.
They fall asleep wrapped up in each other's arms.
Notes:
I'm trying to stay ahead of what I've posted the best I can, but I'll be starting my summer semester for grad school on Monday, so I won't be doing anymore double posts. Now that we've reached the ball, there won't be a need to anyway, the chapters that follow are long anyway.
Next update: June 20th
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
ask me things here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96
Chapter 9: An Arrangement
Notes:
A day early! I'm busy tomorrow and readers on twitter said update tonight so here we are!
Thanks to those who let me rant about MTTC and have supported me in whatever way they can. Y'all the realest.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter Nine: An Arrangement
It’s been a week since the Fioren Ball. A week since Jinsol had felt any semblance of hope. She hasn’t heard from Hyunjin. Not even a text. And Jinsol is worrying that maybe her grand gesture that showed her care for the Fioren Princess and her culture hadn’t been enough to win her favor.
And if that isn’t enough to make her feel uneasy, Jinsol keeps thinking about what Jungeun said to her that night. Her mind pulls her right back to the three words that Jinsol wishes Jungeun had said sooner. That either of them had said sooner. All that lost time, and now they’ve never been farther apart.
Jinsol isn’t sure if she misses her best friend or that woman she’s in love with. The woman she was in love with? She doesn’t know anymore.
The longer she has to wait to hear from Hyunjin—or even Jungeun—the most confused Jinsol becomes. Had she done something wrong? Did she miss something? Or maybe she’s simply not good enough for either of them.
She really doesn’t want to think about it. So she lets anything become a distraction.
Jinsol had spent the past week bustling around the Jung Palace in hopes of ridding those thoughts from her mind. Krystal had told her that making the decision on a future partner and ruler is a lot to handle and to give Hyunjin time. And she knows her sister is right. It’s not as if Hyunjin is deciding what type of bread to eat, though Jinsol is certain that may also take a rather long amount of time, too.
She just wants to be good enough to be Hyunjin’s partner. After seeing Jungeun with Heejin, Jinsol wants this more than ever. If not for the chance to move on, then to put space between her and all the memories that haunt her in this palace. Either way, Jinsol had been remaining busy to keep those negative thoughts at bay.
To stay distracted, Jinsol has taken on helping Yerin acquire financing for the carnival rides and booths. Yerin had done her best to drum up money and interest from royals and nobles to pay for carnival attractions, but she is still short on money. Jessica authorized some allocation of funds for Yerin, but Jinsol has struggled to find much.
“The Crown can’t offer much support,” Jinsol informs her sister. They’re sitting on the patio behind the palace. The afternoon air is hot and the breeze does very little to cool them down. Yerin had insisted on having this informal meeting outside, though after they had settled into their seats, she sorely regretted it. Their lady’s maids brought them refreshments, yet still, the condensation on the glasses and the speed the ice melts reminds them of the heat.
“But last time you said you could give me enough with plenty left over,” Yerin says. She tries not to show her distress, instead opting to draw designs on the side of her glass of lemonade. Over the past couple weeks, she has tirelessly worked to make this carnival work. Yerin had talked to Director Seulgi, all the nobles she has access to, and even the community in Clara to try to make this work. Her heart aches every time she walks into the Clara Children’s Home and finds another thing wrong with the home. It’s becoming increasingly dangerous for those children to live there and she has no idea what else she can do in the meantime. She really needs this funding from Jessica to come through.
“I know, I’m sorry. Jessica had me allocate a substantial amount to the Health and Wellness funds.” Jinsol offers her sister a sympathetic smile. She’s watched how hard Yerin has been working on this and to see her run into yet another roadblock hurts her as well.
Yerin sighs, “Okay, just let me know how much the Crown can provide. I’ll find more people to offer assistance.”
“Have you thought about asking the people of Clara to donate what they can?” Jinsol asks, her eyes scanning the spreadsheet on her laptop.
“No, but I may have to.” Yerin takes a sip of the lemonade. “I’m worried that the children’s home may not be safe for those kids to live in much longer.” She thinks of Yeji and her friends, all the dangerous parts of the home that they’re not allowed near. The cramped bedrooms and the lack of personal space for them. They’re just kids, they’ve been through so much already, they deserve a good place to live.
Yerin wonders if she should reach out to the Kim’s again. She knows Duchesses Sowon and Eunha have not been at their estate lately and they’ve become difficult to reach. Yerin is positive that the Duchesses would want to help with this carnival given the fact that their own daughter had once lived there. Yerin glances at Jinsol curious if her sister knows anything about it, but she hasn’t once offered to talk to Jungeun about it. Considering their current situation, Yerin is pretty sure that offer is never going to come, even if Jinsol knew about Jungeun’s past. She bites her tongue on that piece of information as the sound of the sliding glass door opens revealing Krystal and Bora’s presence.
“You know the old palace was recently renovated,” Krystal says as she approaches. Jinsol and Yerin turn toward her, their eyes immediately landing on the clasped hands of their sister and Bora. Krystal clears her throat and steps away from Bora. “We haven’t much use for it at the moment. I know some nobles wanted to use it for vacations and meetings, but I think moving the children there for the time being would be an excellent temporary option. You know, while you schmooze the rich people for money.”
“If you’re schmoozing for money for the carnival, why don’t you just use that money to renovate the children’s home?” Bora asks pulling out the chair for Krystal to take a seat. They share a soft smile that doesn’t go unnoticed by the younger Jungs. Neither comment on it.
“It’s not enough, I ran the numbers,” Jinsol says while shaking her head.
“I guess I will have to talk to Jessica about temporarily moving the children to the old palace.” Yerin nods to Krystal, “Thank you, I hadn’t thought of that.”
They sit there going over logistics to prepare Yerin to propose this idea to Jessica. Their oldest sister has been shut in her office for a better part of a week. Jinsol hasn’t seen her since the Fioren Ball and she’s wondering what the Queen could be doing locked up in her office. Even Krsytal hasn’t spoken to her, despite her best efforts. The three exchange worried glances. Not a single one of them has any idea what has Jessica wound this tightly.
Jinsol’s phone starts ringing as they are in the middle of discussing the best way to approach Jessica. Glancing at the name on the screen, Jinsol smiles.
“Hello,” she answers the call.
“Jinsol, hey, it’s Hyunjin,” the other Princess stammers over the call and Jinsol tries to smother her grin.
“I know, Hyunjin” Jinsol’s grin widens. “Caller ID, remember?”
“Oh,” Hyunjin mutters. Jinsol can picture the blush on the younger woman’s face. “Right! I—I knew that. I’m sorry, I’m just nervous.”
Across from her, Jinsol’s sisters stare with rapt attention. Bora wiggles her eyebrows and Jinsol suppresses a groan. She turns her back to them even though she knows they’ll continue to eavesdrop.
“Nervous? What are you nervous about?” Chairs scrap against the patio behind her and Jinsol whips around. Yerin is on one knee in front of Bora, arms outstretched pretending to open a box with her hand. Bora squeals and nods her head quickly. The other lady’s maids stifle their laughter behind their hands. It only takes a moment before Krystal smacks the two women, making them stop their antics. Yerin and Bora grin cheekily at Jinsol who gets out of her chair and walks away from the table.
“I really enjoyed the time we spent together the other night at the ball and I would like to, um,” Hyunjin takes a shaky breath. “Damn it, I wanted this to go smoothly but I’m blowing it.”
“You’re not. Take your time, Hyunjin, I’m listening.” Jinsol waits silently as Hyunjin tries to piece together her thoughts. Her eyes drift out toward the arched bridge leading out to the gazebo that sits a few feet into the pond. She thinks, for the briefest moment, of the times she spent with Jungeun in that gazebo. The nights spent talking and gazing up at the stars wondering if maybe they could change their fates.
She’s shaken out of her reverie at the sound of Hyunjin’s voice.
“The night of the ball,” Hyunjin says, “I was—I had a horrible night until you appeared. You made that hellish evening enjoyable and I want to extend an invitation to you, if you’d accept.”
Jinsol looks away from the gazebo, a softer smile appearing on her face. “An invitation, huh?”
“If you’ll accept,” Hyunjin rushes to say.
“I’m not quite sure what I’ll be accepting.”
Hyunjin groans, “I’m so bad at this.”
“It’s kind of endearing, really.” Behind her, Yerin makes kissing noises. Jinsol flips them the middle finger which is only met with louder kissing noises.
“I’d love for you to come stay at the palace so we can get to know each other better,” Hyunjin’s voice isn’t shaking any more. It’s tender, deliberate, unwavering in her request.
“Your Highness,” Jinsol says, her tone playful, “are you courting me?”
There’s a pause before Hyunjin responds with a smile in her voice, “I am.”
“Then, I will graciously accept your invitation, Hyunjin.”
The next day, in Fiore, Hyejoo and Yerim walk down the main corridor on the first floor of the palace. Hyejoo has training this afternoon with Irene out on the front lawn. She had stopped by Yerim and Irene’s family suite to double check with her on the time and place. Outside their door, Hyejoo found a basket full of cookies and candies addressed to Yerim. When her friend had opened the door, she’d been elated to see the basket in Hyejoo’s hands. Before they had a chance to talk, Yerim got a call from Haseul which took up the time they usually spend eating breakfast together.
They finally get the chance to talk nearly an hour later as they’re heading out the suite toward their respective obligations of the day.
“So, it’s not you who has been leaving those baskets?” Yerim asks. It’s been nearly a month of these random baskets of goodies appearing outside her door. As odd as it may be, Yerim really enjoys getting these baskets. Someone out there knows her taste in snacks and sweets really well. It wouldn’t have surprised her if it was Hyejoo because of how long they’ve known each other.
“Nope, I love you, Yerim, but not like that,” Hyejoo says. “You’re like my little sister.”
“I’m older than you,” Yerim bumps their shoulders together. She pouts, “I have no idea who could be doing this. It’s been going on for a while, and all the food is so good! I at least want to thank the person.”
“Seems like you have a secret admirer or something.” Hyejoo says, then a thought crosses her mind. “Wait, you’ve been eating them?”
They stop in the middle of the hallway only a few paces from the front foyer. Guard next to them glance briefly in their direction.
“Um, yeah?” Yerim shrugs, “They’re too good not to. I haven’t died yet.”
“Yerim!” Hyejoo yells, but her voice dies down at the frown Yerim is wearing. She takes a deep breath. “You need to be careful, you have no idea who’s leaving them there.”
Yerim grins, “That’s the fun part. It’s like a mystery.” She gestures to the guards that walk through the hallway and the ones standing by the front doors. “Besides, there are guards everywhere. My mom is the head of security, Hye. We’re plenty safe. I think whoever is leaving these baskets lives here, too.”
“Doesn’t mean they’re good people,” Hyejoo sighs. “We should plan a stakeout or something. Catch the person in the act.”
“Okay, but the last time we decided to do a stake out we saw some things.”
Hyejoo and Yerim shudder.
There had been a time that the kitchen looked like it was ransacked in the middle of the night. Hyunjin had suggested they use the secret room to see what was really happening. Hyejoo thought it was ghosts and Yerim was certain it was like the rat in that animated movie trying to cook. Unfortunately, what the three teenagers had seen was not a PG rated scene between the head chef and sous chef.
When Vivi had heard what happened she was quick to fire them. That’s how Yeojin and her mom, Chungha, came to live in the palace. But the trio are still scarred at the memory of their only stakeout.
“We promised not to talk about that again,” Hyejoo grumbles. They both shake their heads, ridding themselves of the mental image that’s burned into their minds.
“Anyway, I like the mystery,” Yerim says as they finally reach the foyer. The staircases on either side of them curve up to the second floor where the royal family live and work. “I gotta go, Haseul wants me to help her and Vivi plan the States Banquet. And also something about a flower blooming? I have no idea. These rich people throw parties for the weirdest reasons.”
Hyejoo laughs, “They really do. Good luck!”
Yerim pauses halfway up the stairs and grins back at her friend. “You too. You’ll need it more than I will. My mom’s in a feisty mood today.”
She doesn’t get a chance to question Yerim before she’s out of sight. Hyejoo hesitates to go out to the training grounds. The last time Irene had been in a similar mood Hyejoo could barely feel her body when they finished training. With a groan, she forces herself out to the lawn.
Over on the front lawn, Hyejoo finds the other training guards mid-stretch. Irene stands in front of the group rattling off the usual schedule of how they run the training sessions. It’s odd to her, still, that they train out on the lawn when there is a gym inside the palace for this. But Hyejoo really hasn’t seen anyone go in there ever. At least, not since she moved into the palace over a decade ago. She had never asked though and no one ever brought it up.
“Alright, pair up,” Irene claps her hands together. “Hyejoo, you’re with me.”
Even though she’s much younger than the other guards in training, she’s in line to take the spot as head guard for Hyunjin when she assumes the throne. Irene has been working with Hyejoo for years to help her prepare for the day that happens.
While they’re training, Irene isn’t Hyejoo’s best friend’s Mom. She’s the head of security and she’s ruthless. She doesn’t take it easy on the young woman. Hyejoo isn’t the little kid Irene looked after when she was sick or the girl Irene has tucked into bed when the trio fall asleep on the couches. In these moments, when they’re glove to glove, Hyejoo is another guard that needs to learn.
That’s how Hyejoo got her first black eye. It had been an accident, Hyejoo’s head gear hadn’t been secured properly and fell off while they sparred. Irene had swung just as the head gear fell off and bam. Black eye. Haseul had been livid. She went off on Irene about safety. It had been the first time Haseul referred to Hyejoo as her daughter. And Hyejoo has called Haseul her Mom ever since.
“Ready?” Irene asks. Hyejoo steps up and taps their gloves together with a nod. Like all the times before, they circle each other slowly. Hyejoo knows being taller than Irene means nothing in the end. She is head of security for a reason.
Irene is fast with her jabs. But Hyejoo is just as fast with her blocks. She counters when Irene tries to retreat and takes the advantage. They go back and forth for a while. Exchanging jabs, uppercuts, and overhead hits. It's a violent dance around each other.
Hyejoo steps and pivots her hip, swinging her leg up and connecting her shin with Irene’s abs. She moves toward her, taking the chance while Irene is off balance to take her down. But as she rushes forward Hyejoo spots a flash of blonde hair.
Behind Irene, Chaewon walks with Yeojin. She watches as Chaewon laughs, head thrown back and a dazzling smile on her face. Hyejoo is captivated by the sight. All thoughts of the warm-up match with Irene long forgotten.
As if sensing eyes on her, Chaewon glances in Hyejoo’s direction. Their eyes meet just before Hyejoo is slammed to the mat. The wind is knocked out of her, more so than it had been when Chaewon looked at her. Irene stares down at her with a smirk on her face.
“Always keep your eye on the target. Not even pretty girls should distract you.”
Hyejoo blinks slowly and pushes herself back onto her feet. Her eyes quickly look for Chaewon, but the blonde is nowhere to be seen. Hyejoo sighs. She’s always making a fool of herself in front of the seamstress. Ignoring the burning of her cheeks, she steps up to Irene again.
Hyejoo stretches out her gloves, “Let’s go again.”
Later, Hyunjin is in the greenhouse off to the side of the East Garden with her mom. Vivi and her wander through the flowers and plants, watering the ones that need it. The large structure is filled with the aroma of the flowers and sunlight pouring in through the glass panels. Vibrant colors and varying shapes of flowers line the room.
In the middle is a round table and chairs, a tray of finger sandwiches and tea rests there waiting for the Princess and Queen. Off in the far end of the greenhouse, out of direct sunlight, sits her mom’s favorite plants.
Hyunjin approaches the plants to water them only for Vivi to rush over her.
“No, no, not those,” her mom says quickly. Several pots sit side by side containing plants with large, broad leaves. On the leaves is a pale pink and bulbous bud that Hyunjin knows will become the large white flower. The plants take up much of this corner of the greenhouse and Hyunjin remembers all the people they squeeze in here on the rare night that the flowers bloom. “These ones don’t need much water.”
“What are they called? I never remember,” Hyunjin runs her fingers over the broad leaves.
“They have a lot of names,” Vivi takes the watering can from her daughter and places them on the nearby shelf. “Night-blooming cereus, tan hua, but I like to use Queen of the night.”
“You only like that one because you’re also a Queen,” Hyunjin points out. Vivi laughs and places her hand on her daughters back, guiding them over to the table. They take their seats and pour themselves tea.
“I won’t be the Queen for much longer,” Vivi says. Hyunjin pauses stirring her tea to gaze at her mom. Her stomach is already twisting itself into knots. “That’s actually why I asked you to come here today.”
“It wasn’t to bond over flowers?” Hyunjin jokes, taking a sip of her tea.
“No, not exactly. We haven’t seen much of each other since the ball and I wanted to check in with you,” Vivi levels her gaze with Hyunjin. “I heard you invited Princess Jinsol to move into the palace.”
“How’d you—”
“Yerim told us this morning in our meeting,” Vivi waves her daughter off. She isn’t sure why Hyunjin even bothered to keep this information from her. What was she planning to do when Jinsol appears tomorrow? Vivi needs to be prepared so she can prepare a suite for the Jung Princess.
“Of course, she did,” Hyunjin takes an angry bite out of her sandwich. “I wasn’t trying to hide it from you, I just—I didn’t know how to tell you.” She stares out the glass panes of the greenhouse. A group of guards in training run past and Hyunjin can make out Hyejoo well ahead of the pack.
Hyunjin has spent the past day trying to figure out how to tell her mom. It isn’t that Vivi is hard to talk to. Her mom balances the role of Queen and role of mom well. But Hyunjin isn’t even sure how she feels about Jinsol moving in. She’s excited to see her friend and she always does have a great time when they’re together. But she also knows that this is more than being friends. There is much more weight on their relationship now. The whole country is watching to see what Hyunjin decides to do, who she decides to marry. This isn’t simply inviting a friend over to stay in the palace. This is inviting a beautiful and eligible woman to stay in the palace; the implications itself are enough to cause a media frenzy.
She had known that the moment she told her mom that this would become real. The arranged marriage, the road to her coronation, all of it becomes so much more real. Her hands shake and the tea in her cup spills over the sides. She sets it on the table and looks at her mom.
“It doesn’t feel right,” Hyunjin says. “This arranged marriage doesn’t feel right.”
“With Jinsol?” Vivi places her cup down and reaches across to take her daughter’s hand.
Hyunjin shakes her head, “In general. I sound like a broken record, I know, but I don’t want to get married to take the throne, Mom.”
“I know, baby, and I will support whatever decision you make in the end,” Vivi squeezes Hyunjin’s hand. “Even if that means giving the crown to the Choi’s.”
“But I don’t want that either,” Hyunjin says, voice stern.
“We only have those two options, Hyunnie.” Vivi smiles sadly. “Look, why don’t we make a deal. You give Jinsol a chance as a potential partner, get to know her better, and if marrying her still feels wrong, then we will forfeit the crown.”
“Mom, no, you—the crown has been in our family for generations!”
“And if it ends here, that’s okay. I would never force you to do something you don’t want to do. I’m only asking that you try.”
Vivi watches the emotions play out on Hyunjin’s face. The conflict, the pain, the confusion over the whole situation. Vivi never intended to give Hyunjin an option, her possessiveness over the crown has often outweighed most decisions. Vivi had thought this over since the ball. She watched her daughter’s misery play out on her face as she talked and danced with suitor after suitor.
When Vivi was just a Princess, she desperately wished she had more of choice, especially considering her feelings for Haseul. But she never had that opportunity.
If giving the crown to the Choi’s meant that her daughter would be happy and that she could finally be with Haseul, then Vivi thinks it will be worth it.
Seeing how much Hyunjin is struggling, how much pain she is feeling about this, Vivi knows it is the right decision. Kai wouldn’t have wanted Hyunjin to be suffering through something that didn’t feel right. They had taught their daughter to follow her gut. If Hyunjin’s gut still feels that an arranged marriage is wrong, well, Vivi will accept the consequences that come with it.
“Okay, but on one condition,” Hyunjin finally says. “You actually try with Haseul.”
“What—what are you talking about?” Vivi releases her daughter’s hand and hides behind her tea cup as she takes a sip.
“Please, Mom, everyone in the palace knows how you feel about each other.” Hyunjin rolls her eyes. “I don’t know what you’re waiting for, honestly.”
Vivi opens her mouth but Hyunjin cuts her off.
“Don’t use me as an excuse either.” She laughs as her Mom sighs. “I just want you to be happy, Mom, and Haseul makes you happy. So, that’s my condition, I’ll try if you try. ”
Vivi narrows her eyes at her daughter, her lips pursed. She shouldn’t be shocked at her daughter’s words, she is the one who taught Hyunjin how to negotiate. As much as Vivi hates being backed into a corner, she admires the ease at which Hyunjin managed to do it. It also motivates her to work harder for Haseul.
Hyunjin pays no mind to the glare her Mom is sending her and takes another bite of a sandwich. She grins at her mom, her cheeks puffed out and full of food. A smile finds its way onto Vivi’s face and she sighs.
“Alright, it’s a deal.”
A few days later, Jinsol is met with a warm welcome as she steps into the palace. Hyunjin envelops her in an embrace. They hold onto each other tightly before breaking apart, smiles on both of their faces. It’s a whirlwind morning of introductions and grand tours. Hyunjin sticks close to her side throughout the whole thing, their hands clasped together. Jinsol is grateful for the contact because it’s all so much to take in. Their interlocked hands is the only thing that’s holding her in place, keeping her grounded.
Hyejoo and Yerim are loud and spend most of the tour teasing Hyunjin for every little thing she says. Jinsol finds it sweet, even when Hyunjin punches Hyejoo in the arm. Yerim and her stand back as the pair go at it in the middle of the hallway until Wendy separates them.
“I’m sorry about them,” Wendy says to Jinsol as she follows the group around the palace grounds. “They’re a lot to handle.”
“It’s refreshing.” Jinsol smiles at her. “Not many royals get to have relationships like that with people. I certainly didn’t.”
“Wait until you get roped into one of their pranks.” Wendy shakes her head and veers off to the side giving the group space.
Hyunjin pulls away from her friends to walk beside Jinsol. “I hope she isn’t scaring you off with exaggerated stories.”
“I’m not sure they’re exaggerated considering you and your friend got into a fist fight in the palace,” Jinsol points out with a laugh.
“Mm, okay, so the stories are not always exaggerated,” Hyunjin says, “but, I hope we’re not too much for you to handle. Hyejoo, Yerim, and I, we’re kind of a package deal.”
“No, definitely not too much to handle. I could use some chaos in my life.” Jinsol and Hyunjin glance at each other, sharing a tender smile. Hyejoo and Yerim appear in front of them with devilish grins on. “Um, did I say the magic word?”
“We hear chaos and we appear,” Yerim says and Hyunjin sighs beside her. She’s not sure the best way to bring Jinsol into the fold of the group is to start her off with a prank. But, by the twin mischievous looks that Hyejoo and Yerim are wearing, she knows that she isn’t going to get lucky.
“I saw Haseul and Vivi walking toward the East Garden,” Yerim says.
“We’re not going to prank the Queen, are we?” Jinsol glances warily between the three women.
“No, of course not,” Hyejoo answers, though her grin widens and Jinsol doesn’t feel any less unsettled.
“We’re going to prank Haseul,” Hyunjin grins and turns to Jinsol. “Don’t worry, they’re relatively harmless pranks. Besides, this is a perfect chance to meddle.”
“Meddle?” Jinsol furrows her brows.
“Vivi loves my mom,” Hyejoo says.
“And Haseul loves my mom, but they won’t get together,” Hyunjin shakes her head. She places her arm on Hyejoo’s shoulder and leans into her. “Our moms are stubborn, we’re just going to help them a little bit.”
Jinsol looks between the women in front of her. Each staring back at her eagerly waiting for her answer. It’s already been one hell of morning with Hyunjin and her friends. She wants to make a good impression, to be accepted by the people that Hyunjin loves. But Jinsol had grown up in a stricter environment, where pranks were definitely not welcome in any way. She can only imagine what Jessica would have to say about all of this.
But Jessica isn’t here. There are no reporters or other dignitaries that could look down upon this. And it seems like this is typical for the trio of troublemakers. Jinsol takes a deep breath, shakes off her demure attitude, and nods. The three women cheer.
“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Hyunjin says as they huddle up. “Yerim, does that bird still come when you whistle for it?”
“Yeah! And it’s started bringing friends,” Yerim bounced on her toes grinning.
“Perfect, we’re going to scare Haseul into my mom’s arms.” Hyunjin grins at her friends and when her eyes land on Jinsol, it softens just a little. “We’re doing this for love.”
It’s later in the day and Hyunjin is leading Jinsol through a series of hallways on the second floor. They had long since lost track of Hyejoo and Yerim. But that has more to do with the pair getting caught by Vivi after the birds had flown toward Haseul. Hyunjin had enough foresight to yank Jinsol away from the scene of the prank before her mom could see them. She had taken that opportunity to show Jinsol to her suite.
They walk beside each other with Hyunjin pointing out various rooms as they go by. She knows she’s being repetitious, but she isn’t really sure how to act around Jinsol now. Several years of friendship is different from a courtship. Even if the courtship is arranged, there’s still a different air around them. Or maybe Hyunjin is imagining that because Jinsol seems relaxed. Out of the corner of her eye, Hyunjin watches Jinsol’s effortless smile and easy banter. If anything feels off to Jinsol, she isn’t showing it.
“You’re staring,” Jinsol says.
Hyunjin stumbles over her feet as they pass the music hall.
“I—”
“Is it my beauty?” Jinsol smirks at a flustered Hyunjin.
“No,” Hyunjin says indignantly. Jinsol raises an eyebrow. “I mean, yes. No, wait.”
Jinsol’s smirk gives way to a boisterous laugh. She leans forward only to throw herself back with another round of laughter echoing through the empty hallway.
“Goddamn it, Jinsol! You’re so annoying,” Hyunjin pushes her and stomps ahead.
“You’re acting weird, I had to break the tension.” Jinsol jogs to catch up to Hyunjin. A sense of pride wells up inside her as she looks at the tiny smile on Hyunjin’s face. “And it worked.”
“Yeah, well,” Hyunjin rolls her eyes. She stops in front of a large set of doors. Golden floral designs cover the dark wood. Opening the doors, Hyunjin reveals a spacious living room that leads to a balcony and a separate door to the bedroom.
Jinsol walks through the doors wide eyed. Though her palace is certainly grand, something about this space feels luxurious in a way that her room in Valo never had. Maybe it is the view out the balcony that looks over the Southern Garden and duck pond. Or perhaps it’s the canopy bed in her room and the walk-in closet that has another hidden walk-in closet inside. Jinsol isn’t sure, but she thinks the thing about the room that draws her attention the most is the keyboard that sits in a small alcove in front of a window.
Walking up to it, Jinsol lays her fingers on the keys. Without hesitation, she plays a few scales, letting the notes fill the space around her. She forgets Hyunjin is beside her for a moment.
“I asked our staff to get that for you,” Hyunjin says. Turning around, Jinsol offers her a tender smile. “You still play, right? I know you did when we were younger but…”
“I love it,” Jinsol walks over to her. She omits the part where she hasn’t touched a piano in months. Not since— “Thank you, Hyun.”
It’s like magnets falling together as Jinsol wraps her arms around Hyunjin’s shoulders. Her hand cupping the back of her neck, pulling Hyunjin closer than ever. They stay like that a moment, tangled together. Miles from home, Jinsol feels content.
When they break apart, there’s a tug in Hyunjin’s chest. It’s late. They’ll have to get ready for dinner soon. And inevitably go to sleep in separate rooms, separate halls. Hyunjin’s about to make her leave, but there’s that tug again. She falters, eyes drifting over the smiling blonde toward the keyboard.
“Will you play me something?”
Jinsol nods and takes Hyunjin’s hand, leading her to the stool beside the keyboard. With a flourish, Jinsol sits at the bench and gives Hyunjin another wide smile before placing her fingers on the keys. She flexes her fingers, trying to find a song she can play, and hoping that she hasn’t forgotten the basics. And then she lays her fingers on the keys.
Notes float through the room, swirling around their heads. Hyunjin keeps her eyes on Jinsol as she plays, unaware that the blonde hasn’t touched music in a long time, let alone played a song for someone else. Jinsol refuses to think of the brunette that’s probably cozy at the palace in Statera. She pushes that thought from her mind, instead focusing on the keys beneath her fingers and the beautiful woman beside her who’s courting her. Though, if Jinsol is to be honest, there isn’t much need for a courtship. Jinsol had already known the moment Hyunjin asked her to move to Fiore that she would say yes.
That decision is further cemented by the gaze that Hyunjin has fixed on her when the final notes ring out. She tries to ignore the warmth that fills her body and the blush that covers her cheeks. Instead, Jinsol plays her another song and lets the music speak for itself.
When Hyunjin has to leave later to get ready for dinner, that tug in her chest comes back. She can’t place her finger on it. It takes a few steps away from Jinsol’s door that Hyunjin thinks she should turn back and call for her Lady’s Maid to bring her clothes. She doesn’t know what it is about the blonde woman, but there’s an ease to their relationship. Trying to ignore it is futile. Pushing it away and over thinking everything doesn’t do her any good.
The tugging in her chest persists, but she goes back to her room, getting ready quickly for dinner.
“Good morning, this is Uhm Jungwoo with your Royal update!” The news reporter stands in front of the cameraman with a charming smile. Behind them is the Kim-Wong Palace framed by the white plum blossom trees that are swaying in the wind. “We’re here at the Kim-Wong Palace, home of Strelitzia’s beloved Queen and her daughter, Princess Hyunjin. It appears that over the weekend, Princess Hyunjin has invited another royal to stay at the palace.”
The camera zooms in on Jungwoo.
“The two have been seen on the grounds of the palace and throughout the capital city,” Jungwoo goes on to say. “Princess Hyunjin seems to be very cozy with this royal.”
With a sly smile and a raise of her eyebrows, the reporter signals for a clip to play. The screen cuts to a montage of the Fioren Princess with another woman. Princess Hyunjin is walking with a faceless blonde woman through the front lawn to the gardens. They’re sitting under a large plum blossom tree, heads bent and whispering to each other. Princess Hyunjin’s hair creates a curtain that hides the blonde’s face. Another clip comes on, Princess Hyunjin is walking out of a cafe in downtown Strelitzia, a box of baked goods in her hands. She’s met by the blonde woman, presumably the same blonde woman, who takes the box from her hands. The camera zooms in as they turn revealing the blonde woman to be Princess Jung Jinsol of Valo. Princess Hyunjin holds the hand of Princess Jinsol as they make their way back to their car. They spot the camera in the clip and they wave, cordial smiles on their face before climbing into the car. The montage rolls into another clip, back at the palace, where Princess Hyunjin and Princess Jinsol are with two other women. The four of them are running around the garden, the laughter can be heard through the muffled audio. Princess Jinsol falls and Princess Hyunjin trips over her, the couple lying on the ground in close proximity. Pointing her finger, Princess Jinsol gets Princess Hyunjin’s attention, they both spot the cameraman. The video cuts back to Jungwoo as the cameraman in the video clips seemingly falls from a tree.
“There you have it folks, it seems as if Princess Hyunjin has finally made her decision on who will become her partner, and future Queen,” Jungwoo says. “No official statement has been made by the Royal family, but I think we all can agree that our dear Princess looks mighty happy with Princess Jung Jinsol. We look forward to more from this rising power couple. This has been a Royal update with Uhm Jungwoo.”
It’s late one night after an outing with Jinsol that Hyunjin finds herself walking through the hallways toward the kitchen. She’s been on more consecutive outings with Jinsol in the past five days than she has in her whole life. Not that she doesn’t enjoy them. Jinsol has a way of making even the most mundane of activities enjoyable with her wit and their banter. Hyunjin barely notices the cameras that follow them around Strelitzia or the reporters on the other side of the fence of the palace grounds.
But even throughout all their pseudo-dates, Hyunjin’s mind had kept running back to that night of the ball. To the moment in the garden with another princess, one who is betrothed to someone else. To the subtle comfort that the Jeon Princess offered her in the way she understood what Hyunjin was going through without it ever having to be spoken. Hyunjin almost wishes she never ran away from the girl at that ball all those years ago, but there’s so much tied to Heejin that she isn’t ready to think about.
For now, she tucks those memories, those thoughts, into a neat little box and stores it away. Focusing instead on how Heejin understands the position Hyunjin is still in.
Maybe that’s why Hyunjin can’t seem to let her go. Maybe that’s why Hyunjin had Yerim get Heejin’s phone number from the guest list of that night. Maybe that’s why Hyunjin and Heejin have called each other almost every night over the past month.
And even though Hyunjin knows that it’s wrong, even though her gut is telling her that she shouldn’t be doing this, especially not with the woman she is courting staying in the palace, she does it anyway.
She does it tonight.
“The next event, I am making you dance with me,” Heejin says with a chuckle.
“Only if it’s not an event held here, I don’t want you burning my home to the ground,” Hyunjin jokes, knowing that it’ll get a rise out of Heejin.
“One time! You do that one time and suddenly everyone thinks you’re a fire hazard,” Heejin huffs.
“I think one time is one too many.”
“Can’t we have one conversation where you don’t bring this up,” Heejin grumbles.
“Nope, it’s too funny to let it go.”
“I will prove to you that I’m an excellent dancer, just you wait, Hyunjin.”
Hyunjin laughs, her feet carrying her toward the kitchen. She’s nearing the other family’s suites on the main floor. Despite the late hour, a few guards are around pacing the length of the hallway or making their rounds through the palace. They greet Hyunjin with smiles and nods of their heads.
“You’ll have to drag me out on that dance floor,” Hyunjin says. She sees movement out of the corner of her eye. Glancing down the hall on her right, she sees a small figure darting away from sight. Hyunjin pauses and sees a basket set out on the floor in front of the Bae’s suite. She knows Yerim has mentioned a basket of treats outside of her suite a few times, but she had yet to see it unlike Hyejoo. “Weird…”
“What is? That you don’t trust me to be a good dancer,” Heejin says.
“No, that’s not weird, that’s common sense,” Hyunjin says. Heejin whines on the other end of the line. “I will only dance with you if there are no fires, pointy objects, or people nearby.”
“Hmm, I can arrange that.”
“Wait, what? That’s not—”
“It’s a date!” Heejin says and Hyunjin can’t help the flutter in her stomach. A date. She’s never been on a date before. At least one that isn’t due to obligations. “Crap, it’s late, I have to go.”
“Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, of course,” Hyunjin mutters, stepping away from her friend’s door and walking the few paces to the kitchen.
“The Statera Annual Picnic is tomorrow and I need my rest,” Heejin says. “It’s the first public event with Jun—”
Heejin and Hyunjin fall silent. The topic they steer clear of whenever they talk. The fiancée.
This is wrong, beyond wrong, but they both know that neither of them are marrying for love. Sure, they have their own crowns and obligations, but when they talk to each other, when they’re with each other, there’s no worry of duty or of the crowns they will have to wear. It’s easy. And sometimes Heejin and Hyunjin just want easy.
Hyunjin clears her throat, “Right, well, have a good time at the picnic, Heejin. I’ll call you tomorrow night?”
Heejin agrees and she hangs up as Hyunjin steps into the kitchen and leans against the counter. Her body sags, dropping her head onto the countertop with a groan.
“Stupid duty ruining everything. Of course I meet a beautiful woman who’s engaged. And in line for her own throne. That would happen to me. Stupid, stupid.”
“Your Highness?”
Hyunjin yelps and steps away from the counter, straightening herself up. “Chef Chungha, hello. Did—did you hear any of that?”
“Not if you didn’t want me to.” Chungha takes a seat at the counter and slides a covered tray of mini cupcakes over to Hyunjin. She wipes her hands on the towel in her hands.“Yeojin was saving these for your mom, but I’m sure Her Majesty won’t mind.”
“Thank you.” Hyunjin slowly sits across from Chungha and takes a mini cupcake from the tray. “I hope I didn’t interrupt your work.” She pops the mini cupcake into her mouth.
Chungha tosses the towel over her shoulder and smiles at the Princess. “I was just prepping things for tomorrow.”
“Oh, I can—” Hyunjin goes to stand but Chungha stops her.
“You have a lot on your mind,” Chungha gestures back to the chair, “I can tell.”
Hyunjin is hesitant. What she’s doing with Heejin isn’t proper of a Princess, especially one who is going to be engaged sooner or later. Their relationship is nothing more than a friendship, but there are stirrings of real feelings. Feelings that shouldn’t surface between two Princesses that can’t be together. And Hyunjin is frustrated.
She takes a seat again.
“So, what was that outburst about?” Chungha asks before taking a bite of a cupcake.
“It’s no surprise to anyone that I think arranged marriage is old fashioned.” Hyunjin sighs and turns her gaze onto the counter. She traces the black and white swirls of the marble countertop with her finger as she talks. “I had this grand fantasy of romance and falling in love. You know, that can’t get enough, rapid paced, free fall kind of feeling. And I don’t get to have that.”
Hyunjin pauses, tearing her eyes away from the countertop to look at Chungha. The chef’s face remains open, soft, as she listens to the Princess speak. Hyunjin knows that she needs to tread lightly with what she says next, but there’s something in her gut telling her that Chungha is trustworthy.
“I was resigned to this arrangement and then—” Hyunjin runs a hand through her hair aggressively— “then I met someone and now I’m not so sure. But I don’t have a choice. I can’t be with this person even if I wanted to.”
Chungha hums and slides another mini cupcake to Hyunjin. “I can’t imagine the disappointment and pain you must be feeling. But, just as quickly as you felt something for this new person, you may feel the same from Princess Jinsol.”
“Jinsol is a great friend, but I don’t know if I can see her as anything else,” Hyunjin says.
“You have more of a choice than you think.” Chungha picks up a mini cupcake with a smile and stands from her seat, striding toward the door. “Don’t shut yourself out of new possibilities. Good night, Your Highness.”
Hyunjin watches the chef leave, Chungha’s words bouncing around her head. She had promised her mom she would try, and she doesn’t want to close the door on the possibility that she could love Jinsol in that way. But Hyunjin can’t ignore the call of her heart, and she thinks it might be calling Heejin’s name.
Notes:
Yeah, I keep changing the day I update I'm sorry!! Next week the update will be Friday or Saturday again.
Also, depending how the next week for school goes, I might have to change the update schedule anyway.
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
ask me things here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96
Chapter 10: The Picnic
Notes:
Early update again! You can thank those on twitter for persuading me into this. Hope you enjoy this heelip/jeon family chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter Ten: The Picnic
There is only a few hours until the Statera Annual Picnic and Jungeun is swept up in getting ready in her suite. Stylists swarm around her. Primping and preening her to perfection like a glorified doll as they prepare her for the meeting of the people. Jungeun isn’t even sure why there is so much effort going into how she looks for this picnic. She’s aware it’s an important annual event that brings the aristocrats and nobility together with the citizens of Statera. But Jungeun knows that no matter how much she looks like a princess, she will never be one in the eyes of the nobles.
Jungeun tries to take a deep breath to settle the tightness in her chest. In a few short hours she will be face to face with the people of Statera for the first time. This is her chance to impress them and gain their approval. Without the people’s approval, who knows if Heejin and her can even get married. Their arrangement could fall apart. The Jeon family could lose their crown and Jungeun’s family would lose their home.
No pressure.
Her stylists step back. Jungeun’s dark tresses frame her face. The white lace top shows off her shoulders and a sliver of skin before the long floral skirt begins. This isn’t what she imagined an outfit to a picnic would be like, but she trusts the stylists. A seed of worry is still planted in her mind that she is going to stick out.
Jungeun steps down from the platform and thanks the stylists. They bow out of the room leaving her standing with her lady’s maid, Dawon. With shaking hands, she runs her fingers through her hair. Over the fabric of her shirt, her skirt. Anything to stop the rising panic.
“You okay, Lady Jungeun?” Dawon asks.
“I have to be.” Jungeun sighs and turns to face her. “Do I look alright?”
“If by alright you mean like you’re going to hurl, then yes.”
“Not helpful, Dawon.” Jungeun crosses the room and grabs the clutch the stylists left for her to use.
“You look beautiful, stop worrying. Maybe go see Princess Heejin, she knows how to calm you down,” Dawon says and opens the door.
Jungeun hesitates.
“Go.”
“I liked it better when you were nice to me,” Jungeun grumbles and steps out into the hallway.
“Just remember you told me to treat you like a regular person!” Dawon shouts as Jungeun starts walking toward Heejin’s suite.
Jungeun shakes out her hands as she approaches Heejin’s door to expel any of the jitters left. She pushes the already propped open door and steps in. Heejin’s stylists and lady’s maid, Mia, must have left not too long ago. There isn’t a single sound in the suite as Jungeun makes her way through the hall to the bedroom.
Any worries about the picnic disappear when Jungeun lays eyes on Heejin. She stops in her tracks in the doorway. Heejin sits at her vanity. Her hair falling in soft waves over her shoulders, spilling onto the dress that subtly compliments Jungeun’s outfit. She looks stunning.
Jungeun can see her face in the reflection of the mirror, a contemplative yet distant gaze in her eyes. Heejin’s fingers absentmindedly run over the rose on her necklace.
Jungeun knows this look well. She’s seen it often enough to know Heejin is stuck in a loop in her own head. Jungeun’s seen that look while they were growing up; any event Jungeun could likely find Heejin staring off with her hand on her necklace. Hiding away fiddling with that rose. Jungeun never asks, never pushes her. But when Heejin falls quiet, Jungeun knows that there is more going on inside her mind.
Heejin has no clue Jungeun is behind her still, her eyes not registering the figure in the mirror. She’s lost in thought. Today’s the day she is formally introducing Jungeun to her people as her soon-to-be wife, their next Queen. It’s their first official outing as a couple where they seek the people’s approval. There’s no doubt in her mind that the people will love Jungeun. She is kind, playful, and charming. What isn’t there to love?
But she can’t ignore the ache in her that her parents aren’t here to see this. They aren’t here to talk to her or give her advice on what to do. Sooyoung does her best, but sometimes Heejin just wants her mom and dad.
Her finger runs over the rose on the chain and sighs before releasing it.
They are not here to see this, to watch her get married and rule the country. There is this hollow feeling that Heejin has in her chest that she hasn’t been able to shake. Not since her and Jungeun got engaged. No one is here to tell Heejin if she is doing the right thing. No one to hold her hand and coddle her through this. She has to trust herself, but that’s hard when she never felt worthy of the throne to begin with.
“You look beautiful.”
Heejin startles, eyes focusing on the reflection of Jungeun standing behind her.
“Don’t sneak up on me like that,” Heejin forces a laugh, her fingers going back to fiddling with her necklace. Jungeun watches her through the reflection.
“What’s on your mind?”
Heejin hesitates when her eyes meet Jungeun’s. She can tell how much Jungeun cares. Concern clearly written on her face. but Heejin also sees Jungeun’s hands shaking at her sides. She sees her biting her lip trying to hide her own emotions. Heejin isn’t fooled and neither is Jungeun.
“It’s nothing,” Heejin turns around to face her friend, “just nerves, I guess.”
“Afraid your people will chase me out of the park with pitchforks?” Jungeun jokes. Heejin decides not to point out the way her voice shakes.
“They won’t chase you out with pitchforks . Those are so outdated,” she smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Are you sure it’s just nerves? You can tell me anything, Heej.”
“Yeah, don’t worry. I always get nervous before big events.”
Jungeun wants to push the topic. She wants Heejin to open up and let her in. Sure, they’ve been best friends for years, and Heejin has opened up on most occasions. But it’s different now. It’s like Heejin is really holding back from letting herself feel things and Jungeun is worried. There’s only so much Heejin can hold on to before hitting her breaking point.
“I’m nervous, too,” Jungeun opts to say instead. “We’re in this together. You and me, we’re a team now.” She offers Heejin her hand which is taken with gratitude. With a quick squeeze, Jungeun gently pulls Heejin to her feet and places a chaste kiss to her cheek.
“Together,” Heejin reaffirms. “I won’t leave you.”
It’s a reassurance that Jungeun needs to hear. Not just about the picnic but their relationship in general. The tightness in her chest loosens.
The park is bustling with the people of Statera. Picnic blankets and tables are set up across the outskirts of the park. Croquet and lawn dart games are gathering a crowd in the middle of it all. Loud cheers erupt as a team of nobles lose to the citizens. The nobles take it in stride, congratulating the people with diplomatic smiles and polite handshakes.
Sooyoung knows the nobles are internally cursing them for the humiliation. Maybe it’ll knock them down a peg. Their smug smiles and arrogant tones from the recent parliament audience still burned in her mind. Sooyoung is happy to see the embarrassment on their faces now.
She and Jiwoo continue to make their rounds throughout the park. They had long ago made their relationship public. There is no use in hiding it. It does not hinder her ability to rule as Queen Regent. Sooyoung isn’t bound to the same laws that heirs to the throne are. Her role isn’t permanent, which means her relationship with Jiwoo isn’t an issue.
Sooyoung happily parades around the park with Jiwoo on her arm. Smiling, laughing, flirting. Stopping to talk to nobles and citizens alike. The people truly love Jiwoo. Her bubbly personality and bright smile had captured their hearts in moments.
They go around and around, greeting citizens by name and having trivial conversations. Sooyoung has long since lost track of her nieces and Jungeun. Though she knows they’ll fair well on their own. There isn’t anything to worry about.
“Hani, how is the cafe doing?” Sooyoung greets another citizen. The woman smiles brightly after curtsying.
“Very well, Your Majesty,” Hani says. “You and Jiwoo should come by again soon, I’ll bake some of that bread you two love.”
“We would love that,” Jiwoo smiles. “Sooyoung and I will come by next week.”
Hani thanks them both as they move along to the next cluster of people. Jiwoo holds loosely to Sooyoung’s hand as she pulls them from person to person. Sooyoung stares after Jiwoo tenderly as she interacts with everyone. The people love her. She loves her, too.
It isn’t until much later that Sooyoung sees Heejin and Jungeun. Her and Jiwoo are in conversation with another local, Soojin. She’s held their attention for several minutes. Jiwoo nods along with the woman’s words, but Sooyoung is watching her niece across the way.
Heejin and Jungeun are by a croquet set up. Two little girls are with them, their parents stand behind them. Heejin is kneeling on the grass talking with one of the little girls who’s wiping her teary eyes. There’s a soft smile on Heejin’s face, one that rarely appears at public events.
“She’s a completely different person now,” Soojin says. Sooyoung glances at the woman momentarily before looking back at her niece.
“Yes, it appears so,” Sooyoung says.
“Lady Jungeun seems to have a great affect on her,” Soojin smiles. “She will be a great Queen. Though, you will be missed, Your Majesty.”
“Thank you, Soojin.”
The woman walks away leaving Jiwoo and Sooyoung to observe the couple. The little girl that was crying is now laughing at the silly faces Heejin is making. Jungeun and the other child are laughing too. Behind them, the parents are wearing pleased smiles watching the sweet scene unfold.
Heejin stands back up and brushes her knees off. She reaches for Jungeun’s hand and the couple leaves the parents with two happy children.
Sooyoung doesn’t miss how Heejin’s placid mask falls back into place only for Jungeun to make her laugh. Shattering the mask in entirety.
“She really is growing,” she muses. “She’ll do well with Jungeun by her side.”
“Heejin will do well regardless of her partner,” Jiwoo corrects.
Sooyoung hums. “I just want off this throne. And to take you on a well deserved vacation.”
Around them people continue to move about. Larger games erupt across the park. Food is being passed out. Different music can be heard from the speakers stationed at tables and blankets. The park is full of life.
“You better mean a vacation to another place. I swear, if you take me to the guest suite again, I will break up with you,” Jiwoo says sternly. Sooyoung pouts. “No. Nope. That’s not going to work on me.”
With a laugh, Sooyoung pulls her girlfriend closer. “Alright, when I am no longer Queen, we’ll go on a vacation. A real vacation.”
“Outside of Statera.” Jiwoo smiles, placing her hands on Sooyoung’s shoulders.
“Outside of Statera,” Sooyoung nods. “Anything for you, Jiwoo.”
They share a simple kiss. Barely a brush of lips, but it’s enough for that same fluttering feeling to erupt in her stomach. The same warm fluttering that has been there from the very beginning with Jiwoo.
Somi is doing her own rounds. The same way her mom taught her when she was only eight. She greets nobles and citizens. Polite conversation and easy smiles. A few minutes of conversation before moving on to the next person. And the next person.
She’s miserable.
If Jiwoo asked her, she would rate today a three on the scale. That’s not good. Jiwoo would probably drag her to horseback ride or spar if they didn’t have to stay at this stupid picnic. But Somi has to push through.
But she’s exhausted and her politeness filter is running thin. There’s only so many conversations she can have that sound exactly the same before she loses her mind.
Before, Somi had Heejin with her at these events. They’d pull the pressure off each other or sneak off and hide until Sooyoung noticed they were missing. Now she’s alone. Heejin has Jungeun. Not even Johnny can keep Somi entertained. His antics aren’t funny today and she sends him away.
Or as far away as she can send him. She can still feel his gaze on her as she moves through the crowd of people near the food. People part as she walks by. She greets them with a forced smile and a lame excuse about looking for Queen Sooyoung. Fingers point toward the back of the park and Somi takes a chance to escape the crowd by following their directions.
With each new sound and every new person speaking to her, Somi feels the threads of her patience about to snap.
Somi nods politely to the people who try to talk to her and continues to push out of the crowd. As she passes a group of older gentlemen she overhears part of their conversation. She pauses at the mention of her parent’s names.
“Queen Sooyoung is an amazing ruler,” one man says. The others nod in agreement.
“She’s much more adept at ruling than Queen Sunmi or King Seokjin,” another man says.
Somi recognizes his voice immediately. Baron Daesung. She remembers him well from her childhood. He had always disagreed with the way her parent’s ruled Statera. Even in death, Baron Daesung did not respect them.
“I’m thankful she hasn’t tried anything new with that clean energy crap her sister had initiated,” Baron Daesung scoffs. Somi’s hands ball into fists at her sides. In the distance, Johnny sees her freeze in the crowd and starts to approach. “A bunch of bullshit if you ask me. At least Queen Sooyoung seems to have the right mind, unlike Sunmi. She was batshit crazy, we’re better off without her.”
“Shut up! Shut up!” Somi screams, stomping right up to the Baron.
“Oh, it’s the Princess with anger issues,” Baron Daesung grins. “Hello, Your Highness.” He exaggerates his bow.
“What were you saying about my mother?” Somi is shaking. The crowd that was around her backs up. Fevered whispers bounce around as she stands toe-to-toe with Daesung. Her fists tighten, nails digging into her skin, at the smug grin on his face.
“I’m sure you heard me just fine,” Baron Daesung says with a shrug. “Your sister is likely to ruin this country just like your mother did.”
“You piece of—” Somi pulls her arm back ready to knock that shit eating grin off his stupid face. A hand grips her elbow before she can punch him.
“He’s not worth it,” Jiwoo says as she shifts to stand between the Baron and the Princess. “He’s not worth it, Somi.”
As Somi lets Jiwoo pull her away, she sees Johnny appear and usher the Baron and his friends out of the park.
Jiwoo leads her over to a secluded spot and directs her to take a seat on the bench. They sit next to each other in silence, letting Somi cool down before even approaching the conversation. She’s still shaking from the interaction. She can still hear his words rattling around in her head.
“He said we’re better off without my mom,” Somi whispers, finally. Jiwoo wraps an arm around Somi’s shoulders, hugging the teenager to her side. “I’m not better off without her.”
“Punching him wouldn’t solve anything.”
“Would’ve made me feel better.” Somi leans into Jiwoo’s embrace. She breathes in time with Jiwoo, letting the rest of her anger dissipate. “I shouldn’t have confronted him like that. I lost my temper.”
“You did.” Jiwoo can feel the tension start to leave Somi’s body.
“Still wish I could’ve punched him.”
Jiwoo laughs, “I’ll tape a picture of him to the punching bag in the gym.”
“I guess that will work,” Somi says, then pauses. “I’m a three.”
“Yeah?”
Somi nods against her shoulder.
“Okay, you can stick with me the rest of the day. There’s some food I’ve been meaning to try that Hani brought,” Jiwoo gets to her feet and Somi follows. They’re about to leave when a deep voice calls to them.
“Hey!” Heejin rushes up to them breathless. “Sooyoung told me what happened. Where is he? I’m gonna kick him so hard in the—Hi, Jiwoo.”
“You’re not kicking anyone,” Jiwoo narrows her eyes at her. Heejin shrinks under the glare.
“Are you okay, Somi?” Heejin wraps her arms around her little sister.
“I am now. But, uh, Sheejin—”
“Will you stop calling me that?” Heejin pushes her sister out of the hug.
“Nope.” Somi looks behind her sister and then back at her. “Where’s Jungeun?”
“She’s right behind me, what do you mean?” Heejin turns around and finds an empty space. She frowns. “Um, she was supposed to be right behind me….Okay, I lost her.”
“How did you manage to lose her?” Jiwoo knits her brows together.
“Leave it to Sheejin to lose a whole person,” Somi laughs.
“So glad you’re feeling better,” Heejin deadpans. “I need to go find Jungeun.”
Despite the annoyance Heejin feels at her sister, she gives Somi one more hug before darting back toward the picnic. Jiwoo and Somi watch her disappear into the crowd.
Jungeun had lost Heejin pretty quickly when the news of Somi’s almost fist fight reached them. She didn’t have a chance to grab Heejin’s hand before the Princess bolted away to find her sister. The crowd had separated them and left Jungeun stranded in the middle of the picnic surrounded by the people of Statera.
She stands alone there now watching people pass by her. Most nobles pay her no mind, sending the occasional glare or pitying look. Not for the first time since she lost Heejin, Jungeun wishes Jinsol had been beside her. Jinsol who, for the longest time, had been Jungeun’s safety net; her rock at these events. Jinsol wouldn’t have left her.
That’s not true. Jinsol has left Jungeun at events more times than she can count. And for less important reasons like dancing with Lady Yoohyeon. Or sneaking away with Princess Hyunjin.
In the three months Jungeun has been with Heejin, she has never been left to fend for herself. Not once. Except for right now, of course. Heejin’s stuck by her, supported her, and cared for her in a way Jungeun isn’t entirely used to. Sure, Jinsol cared for Jungeun, their years of friendship proves that. But the absolute care Heejin takes to make Jungeun feel welcome and accepted leaves a warm sensation in her chest.
Jungeun suppresses a groan and looks for Heejin in the approaching crowd. She smiles politely at the people greeting her. They bow in front of her and introduce themselves. And she tries, she tries to listen to what they have to say about their stores and farms and worries. Jungeun knows her parents, especially her mama, would be disappointed in the way she’s holding herself right now.
Her focus isn’t on the sweet older woman in front of her showing her pictures of her grandchildren. She nods along, laughing where it’s appropriating, responding where it’s needed. But it’s hard to focus on the story the woman is telling when Jungeun’s mind is elsewhere. Her eyes scan the crowd occasionally looking for any sign of Heejin.
It takes several attempts for Jungeun to find an appropriate exit from the conversation. As much as she wants to make a good impression on the people, Jungeun is struggling to keep up the charade without the worry showing on her face. Somi almost punched a noble. People keep asking her about it too, but she has no clue what’s going on. Not to mention Heejin just kind of left her in the dust.
Jungeun doesn’t want it to sting as much as it does.
The spot in the park where she stands now is out of the way of most of the activity. Little kids rush by giggling as their parents shout for them. Cheers echo from the other side of the picnic, drawing Jungeun’s attention.
“Well, if it isn’t the Princess hopper,” a snide voice calls from behind her.
“Excuse me?” Jungeun says, taken aback as she faces the voice. The man towers over her with a glare.
“I do believe you heard me,” he tuts. “I’m Lord Seonghwa.”
Jungeun recognizes the name and the arrogance he carries himself with fits the stories Heejin has told her about him. Lord Seonghwa is one of the many suitors that Heejin had to endure during her ball. Seonghwa is among the worst.
He approaches her, backing her up further, hiding them behind a large tree. Resting a hand on the bark, Seonghwa narrows his eyes further.
“You hop from one Princess to the next. I bet you think so highly of yourself, stealing away the money and attention from them,” Seonghwa says. “You’re nothing but a charity case.”
Jungeun swallows thickly.
“You know nothing about me.” She tries to come across as strong, but her voice shakes as much as her hands. Her eyes dart around trying to search for help. Begging Heejin to appear. This is the exact moment Jungeun has feared. Nobles, no matter the country, will look down at her. They will see her as the poor girl who was whisked into the fairytale life they all had the privilege to be born into.
Why did she think that marrying Heejin could suddenly solve that?
“I know plenty,” he laughs dryly. “You grew up a poor orphan. Adopted by Duchesses Sowon and Eunha, who apparently did a terrible job raising you. You have no manners, no skills, you have nothing to offer Statera. No wonder Princess Jinsol didn’t want to marry you. You bounce around Princesses for attention. I assure you, Princess Heejin will grow tired of you the same way Princess Jinsol did.”
“I—” Jungeun chokes on the lump in her throat. Tears stinging in her eyes as his words wash over her.
“You are nothing but a leech on the Royal family. Princess Heejin—”
“Princess Heejin can speak for herself,” Heejin’s deep voice cuts the Lord off. Jungeun visibly relaxes at the sound of her voice.
“Y—Your Highness,” Seonghwa’s eyes widen as he steps back and bows to her.
Heejin crosses the space and places a hand on Jungeun’s lower back. She glances at her and takes notice of the quivering lip and trembling body. Heejin’s stomach churns at the sight, anger flaring up inside her. Rubbing a small circle on Jungeun’s back, she looks back at Seonghwa.
“Lord Seonghwa, it would do you well to hold your tongue on matters you are uneducated on,” Heejin warns, a bite behind her words. “If I hear you, or anyone else for that matter, speak negatively about my fianceé—your future Queen —there will be repercussions. Do not make me repeat myself.”
Heejin guides Jungeun away from a spluttering Lord Seonghwa without sparing him another glance.
Jungeun doesn’t register the walk to the car. She doesn’t hear Heejin on the phone with Sooyoung. The car ride to the palace passes in a blur. All she can focus on is the echoing of Seonghwa’s words in her head.
Charity case .
That’s what she is, isn’t it?
“Jungeun?” Heejin calls softly, concern lacing her voice. They’re standing in Heejin’s suite now. Jungeun blinks trying to figure out how they got here so quickly, but her attention is drawn back to Heejin. “You still have spare clothes in my closet if you want to go change.”
A quick change later and they’re lying beside each other in bed. Heejin lets the silence envelop them, giving Jungeun a chance to think and calm down. She holds tight to Jungeun’s hand, intermittently squeezing to let her know she’s still there. That she isn’t leaving like she did earlier.
“You’re blaming yourself,” Jungeun finally says.
“Of course I am, that wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t abandon you.” Heejin shifts to lay on her side. She swallows the tears that try to fall when she remembers the broken look on Jungeun’s face when she found her. “I should have been there.”
Jungeun sighs, brushing her thumb over Heejin’s hand. “You can’t be there all the time, Heej.”
“Has that been happening a lot?”
“My whole life.”
“I shouldn’t have left you,” Heejin says.
Jungeun watches her out of the corner of her eye. “You didn’t mean to. You were worried about your sister, I understood that. Your people have been kind to me, it’s the nobles that are more...unfavorable.”
“They’re assholes,” Heejin scoffs. “And they’re missing out on an amazing woman.”
Jungeun’s heart thrums quickly at those words, a blush settling on her cheeks and tips of her ears. She turns her head away.
Quiet falls over them again. Heejin keeps her gaze steady on Jungeun’s face. She worries her lip between her teeth, brows furrowed in thought. Heejin wants to reach out and pull out her lip from her teeth and smooth the crease between her friend’s brow. There is so much pain etched on Jungeun’s face, so much more beneath the surface. Heejin wants to take it all away.
“He wasn’t wrong.” Jungeun pulls her hand free from Heejin’s grip. Panic rises as Seonghwa’s hateful words come back to her. “I’m just some charity case. I literally agreed to marry you for money , Heejin.”
“Hey, no,” Heejin says forcefully, causing Jungeun to look at her. Their eyes meet, and the intensity of Heejin’s gaze sends chills down Jungeun’s spine. “We made this arrangement to help your family. Don’t let that asshole get in your head.”
“It’s hard not to.” Jungeun rolls over to face Heejin. “You get that, right?”
“Yeah...yeah, I do.” They share a sad smile. “I hear the words people have slung at me or said behind my back every time I get ready for an event. The criticism and shitty jokes. How they don’t believe I can be Queen. My parents always told me not to listen to them, to prove them wrong, but it’s hard, you’re right.”
“You’re going to be a great Queen,” Jungeun says, taking Heejin’s hand again. A calm washes over her. She relaxes into the bed. “I saw it today at the picnic when you spoke to your people. And I saw it with how you stood up for me. Thank you for that, you didn’t have to.”
“Yes I did. You’re my best friend. One day you’re going to be my wife and my Queen. I will always stand up for you. And I know you’re going to be an amazing Queen, too.”
They’re closer together now. Legs brushing against each other, hands tangled together. There’s a new level of warmth radiating through their bodies that they can’t quite put a name to.
Heejin’s phone rings on her bedside table. Both women pull away simultaneously. Heat flooding their faces. Heejin picks up her phone and sees Hyunjin’s name and face light up the screen.
Jungeun sees the face on the screen. She tries to brush aside the disappointment knowing that Heejin is likely to answer the call from Hyunjin. Like she has every night. Jungeun isn’t blind to what is going on between Heejin and Hyunjin. She hasn't spent any quality time with her like they used to. And tonight they finally have that chance to really talk. Jungeun hates the twisting in her stomach. Hates that she’ll have to leave and hear the stupid laughs that Hyunjin always manages to elicit from Heejin.
The bed shifts as she climbs out from under the covers, not wanting to hear Heejin tell her to leave. Instead, saying it first.
“I should go to my own room.”
Jungeun pauses and turns to look at Heejin who’s staring at her phone. She braces herself for the rejection, the disappointment. A part of her is hopeful though. Hopeful that, just for tonight, Heejin will pick her.
The phone keeps ringing. Heejin’s thumb hovers over the screen to accept the call. Her and Hyunjin have talked every night this week. And the week before. There’s a certain level of comfort and excitement that Hyunjin brings out in her that she enjoys.
Glancing over at Jungeun, she gets the answer to the question she doesn’t dare to ask.
Heejin declines the call.
“Wait,” she reaches out for Jungeun, “Stay the night, please. I—I don’t want to be alone.”
Jungeun takes her hand and slides back under the covers. Their bodies gravitate back toward each other.
“Neither do I.”
Notes:
I've debated back and forth if I'm going to move to a bi-weekly update schedule purely to give myself some time with grad school and keeping up with writing mttc.
If I don't update next week, then you'll know! Or follow me on twitter, cause I'm sure I'll talk about it there.
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
ask me things here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96
Chapter 11: A royal Engagement
Notes:
the name of this title really says it all, honestly.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter Eleven: A Royal Engagement
The fan on the ceiling of Hyunjin’s room spins around and around. She lays on the floor watching the small teddy bear tied loosely to the blade speed up. Hyejoo and Yerim lay with her, their heads touching as they continue to watch the teddy bear swing in a circle. The three of them have done this since they were kids when their moms would sequester them in Hyunjin's room. With nothing but a shoelace and a teddy bear, they made this game, placing bets on how long the teddy bear could hold on to the ceiling fan.
When they were younger, the bets had more to do with candy and who got to plan the next prank. Now it’s about money.
Hyunjin stretches a little, her foot brushing against the giant teddy bear in the corner of the room. She pushes the thought of her dad out of her head when Yerim speaks.
“Another treat basket was outside my door today,” Yerim says, glancing at Hyejoo and Hyunjin. She tugs at the hem of her shirt, eyes focusing back on the teddy bear spinning faster. The arm slowly coming loose from the shoelace holding it in place.
“Isn’t that, like, the third one this week? Who has the time?” Hyejoo asks in disbelief.
“I don’t know,” Yerim frowns. “They even make a bow and use cute little baggies for the treats. I really liked those mini cupcakes from last week though. They were so good, I want more.”
“It’s been, what? A month since these baskets started appearing.” Hyunjin says, turning her head to look at Yerim. Her eyebrows are knitted together, lips pursed as she thinks.“You still don’t know who it is?”
“Nope, no clue,” Yerim says looking at Hyunjin. They both turn their attention back to the fan. “All I know is they’re either buying this stuff from the store or they’re a really good baker. The food’s always amazing.”
Hyejoo hums in response, an idea of who it might be popping into her mind, but she shoves it aside. She’s not entirely fond of the idea of Yerim eating food that she doesn’t know where it’s coming from. Whether the person giving it has good intentions or not. Hyejoo is protective over the other two.
“I think I saw them,” Hyunjin says, recalling the night last week.
“What?” Yerim and Hyejoo say in unison. They sit up just as the teddy bear flies off the ceiling fan blade and hits the wall by the door.
Hyunjin checks the timer. “Five minutes. You both owe me ten dollars.”
“You’re a princess, you don’t need my money.” Hyejoo smacks away Hyunjin’s outstretched hand.
Yerim ignores them both. She waves her hand in Hyunjin’s face to get her attention. It takes a few tries before Hyunjin and Hyejoo break their glaring contest.
“What do you mean you saw them?”
Hyunjin keeps her hand outstretched to Hyejoo as she talks.
“I was on the phone with Heejin last week.”
“Of course you were,” Hyejoo rolls her eyes and smacks Hyunjin’s hand away again. “You talk to her more than you talk to Jinsol.”
Hyunjin narrows her eyes at Hyejoo and then turns back to Yerim.
“I was walking toward the kitchen and there was a small figure running away from your door,” Hyunjin shrugs. “Didn’t really see much.”
“Useless,” Yerim sighs. She drops her head onto her hands, her fists squish her cheeks together as she pouts. Hyunjin reaches over and pats her on the back.
“Sorry, Yerimie,” Hyunjin puts her other hand out in front of her. “But you still need to pay up.”
Both Hyejoo and Yerim grumble as they hand over crumbled bills.
A second later Yerim’s phone goes off, an appointment reminder displayed across the screen. She huffs as she pushes herself to her feet, brushing herself off. “Alright, I gotta go plan this state banquet thing with your moms. See you guys.”
Hyunjin waves as she scoots back and rests against the giant teddy bear. Large fuzzy arms fall around her. She runs her fingers over the fur. Mind drifting to other thoughts outside of Yerim’s secret admirer or the date she has with Jinsol later. All she wants to do is just rest in the arms of the teddy bear like she did when she was a kid. When things had been simpler.
“Hey,” Hyejoo kicks her foot lightly drawing her attention. “You good?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Hyunjin shifts. The teddy bear’s arms fall away. She forces a smile as she looks up at her.
Hyejoo doesn’t believe her, but knows her well enough to leave it alone for now.
“Okay, well, Yerim’s mom wants to run through security protocols with me again.” Hyejoo points over her shoulder toward the door.
“Don’t you know those already?”
“Yeah. Irene runs a tight ship,” Hyejoo shrugs and backs up toward the door. “Oh, and have fun with Jinsol today.”
Hyunjin ignores the jitters that consume her as Hyejoo leaves. She buries herself back in the arms of the teddy bear. At least for the time being, she can pretend that she’s five years old and wrapped in her dad’s arm again.
Hyejoo finds Chaewon in the sunroom that overlooks the West lawn. She had been heading toward the security room when she heard someone crying. It didn’t take much more for Hyejoo to abandon meeting Irene on time to check on whoever she heard crying.
She stands in the doorway to the sunroom now. Chaewon sits with her back to the door, figure haloed in sunlight. Occasional sniffles fill the room between the sound of paper being ripped and crumpled. A crumpled ball of paper is thrown over her shoulder toward the waste basket. The ball hits the rim and falls to the ground.
Stepping into the room, Hyejoo walks toward the smaller woman. As she gets closer, she sees tears splattering against the sketchbook in Chaewon’s hand. Colors bleed together, the designs smudging as she rips the page out and throws it behind her again. It lands next to the other crumpled page. Her body shakes with the each sob she tries to suppress.
Hyejoo is half tempted to turn around and leave, fearing that she’s intruding. She clears her throat anyway, bringing attention to her presence.
“Uh, hey, are you—are you okay?”
Chaewon jumps, slamming her sketchbooks shut. Whipping her head in Hyejoo’s direction, body ready to flee. She relaxes when she realizes who it is.
“Hyejoo,” she sniffles. Wiping her face on her sleeve, she forces a smile. It looks more like a grimace. “I almost didn’t recognize you without the mess that usually accompanies your entrances.”
Hyejoo chuckles, her cheeks a rosy tint. Chaewon turns back toward the large window in front of her. Leaves on the trees wave in the breeze. Petals and grass are picked up, drifting through the air. Hyejoo takes the chance to sit down, her eyes drawn to the sketchbook on Chaewon’s lap.
“I know we’re not super close but if you wanna talk, I’m here, okay?” Hyejoo peers at her out of the corner of her eyes. Her back is pin straight, knuckles turning white from her grip on the sketchbook. She takes a deep breath and sighs. Falling forward, Chaewon leans her elbows on her thighs, propping her head up on her hand. Her eyes are still glued to the scenery outside. Hyejoo turns her gaze out the window, too.
“I want so badly to be a designer,” Chaewon admits finally.
“Aren’t you?”
Outside, gardeners walk by with wheelbarrows full of mulch and new flowers to be planted. They glance at Hyejoo and Chaewon curiously.
Chaewon shakes her head, “My mom designs the royal family’s clothing. I do everything else. And it’s not that I can’t—” She sits up straighter and flips through her sketchbook. Each page is filled with different designs. Dresses, suits, daywear. Bright colors, pastels, monochrome. Every design is unique, beautiful, and Hyejoo wonders why they’ve never been used before. “My mom just won’t let me. She says she knows what the royal family wants and what the public will adore. I just want a chance, you know?”
“These are stunning, Chaewon,” Hyejoo murmurs in awe. She takes in every design on the pages. Glancing up, she sees Chaewon’s eyes wide, blushing. “Seriously, these are beautiful. Have you ever showed these to Hyunjin?”
“No, no,” Chaewon shakes her head, closing the sketchbook. “That’s not my job. I’m there for fittings and requests. Not to throw my hobby in the Princess’s face.” Her voice cracks and she looks away.
Hyejoo wants to reach out and comfort her, but before she can Chaewon’s phone starts ringing.
“Mom, hi,” Chaewon says, body immediately tensing up. “I—Okay, fine. I’ll meet you there.”
She wipes her face and takes a deep breath, forcing another smile on her face.
“Chaewon—” Hyejoo stands with her.
“I gotta go,” she backs away from Hyejoo. “Thank you, Hyejoo. I really appreciated this.” She gestures between them and then walks out the door.
Hyejoo is left reeling from the interaction. Not quite sure what just happened, but knowing that her heart hurt watching Chaewon cry. Her gaze lands on the crumpled papers near the waste basket and she goes to pick them up. Unfolding them gently, she’s once again taken aback by the sheer beauty that the designs hold. Both pages show elegant ball gowns, smudged slightly from tears and crinkles. Hyejoo has half a mind to go storm up to Chaewon’s Mom and give her an earful for making her daughter feel so inadequate. But the writing on one of the pages catches her eye and a plan starts to form in her mind.
At the top of the page the words, Ball gown - Princess Hyunjin , are written neatly.
She folds the papers back up and puts them in her pocket before rushing to the security room. Even though she’s going to get an earful from Irene for being late, Hyejoo can’t help but grin. She’s going to help Chaewon get the chance at her dream.
Meanwhile, Hyunjin has just finished getting dressed for her outing with Jinsol. She stands in front of the giant teddy bear, once again, her hand squeezing the paw. Some days are easier than others when it comes to missing her dad. Today is one of those harder days. She keeps hoping that she’ll close her eyes and he’ll be back with his bright smile and warm hugs. She hugs the teddy bear most nights trying to remember what his hugs even felt like.
It’s been almost twenty years and if it wasn’t for photographs she probably wouldn’t remember what he looked like. She certainly doesn’t remember the sound of his voice. Or the jokes he used to tell that her mom and Haseul say were cheesy. Or how he taught her how to shoot a bow and arrow, though everyone else seems to remember. Sometimes she doesn’t want to remember because the ache in her chest is too much to handle. And sometimes she’s hit with this overwhelming sadness; this tight throat, hard to breathe, kind of sadness.
She’s somewhere in the middle today. Somewhere between wanting to cry and wanting to hear another story from her mom about him.
Maybe it has something to do with the date with Jinsol. It’s not like they haven’t gone out several times since she moved into the palace. But Hyunjin feels the pressure of having to make a decision soon. She’s been courting Jinsol for a few weeks in the eyes of the public, and they’re waiting. The parliament is waiting.
Vivi is letting her make her own decision. She hasn’t weighed in much since their conversation in the greenhouse. Hyunjin had promised to try with Jinsol and she has been. She’s gotten to know the other woman outside the usual formal events they interact at. Hours spent watching trashy shows or seeing who knows more useless trivia from game shows. Nights where Jinsol plays the piano for Hyunjin and they talk about their pasts, about their family. With Jinsol, she feels comfortable; it’s safe. Yet, the deeper Hyunjin gets to know Jinsol, the more nervous she gets every time they go outside the confines of the palace.
“I miss you, Dad,” Hyunjin whispers. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I really don’t. You, Mom, and Haseul have taught me so much, prepared me to be Queen and still….I’m scared, Dad. What if I don’t make the right decisions? None of this is easy.”
She holds tighter to the teddy bear’s paw. Agreeing to the arranged marriage, going forward with it, means giving up whatever it is she’s feeling for Heejin. But the other option means losing her throne, losing the crown to another family, and hurting one of her best friends. Hyunjin isn’t sure that she’ll ever be prepared to make that decision.
“Will it get easier, Dad?” She stares at the amber eyes of the bear. “Do you think I’ll ever be ready?”
Heejin and Jinsol cross her mind. Different storms clashing, kicking up a mess of emotions Hyunjin isn’t remotely prepared to deal with right now.
A knock on the door frame breaks her out of her head. She turns toward the door, dropping the teddy bear’s arm. Jinsol stands in the doorway, blonde hair tied up and out of her face making her features even sharper.
“Hey, you ready?” She smiles, soft and small. All that chaos that raged inside Hyunjin’s mind dissipates. Her nervousness and self-doubt lifts. Something inside her settles.
“Yeah,” she says, looking back at the teddy bear, “almost.”
Jinsol walks hand in hand with Hyunjin through the streets of Strelitzia. The sun is shining brightly, a breeze comes through the street bringing with it the smell of baked bread and flowers. Small crowds gather on the sidewalk as the couple walks through the shopping district. There are guards walking near them keeping people and reporters a safe distance away. Wendy and Jinsol’s temporary guard, Nayoung, walk behind them.
For the most part, the people of Strelitzia let them walk through the street without an issue. They call out their names and greetings. Hyunjin and Jinsol are sure to wave back with kind smiles. They even greet Uhm Jungwoo from The Royal Update.
Even in the public eye, Jinsol remains poised and proper. Back straight, smile not too wide. The only contact Jinsol has with Hyunjin is through their hands, and even that she feels like is pushing it. It goes against a lot of what Jinsol had been taught.
Hyunjin had insisted, though, not wanting to be separated from Jinsol while they were on their walk. While Jessica’s words had been screaming at her not to take Hyunjin’s hand, the safety she feels when Hyunjin is close by had been enough to sway her. The first thing Jinsol had noticed was how different holding Hyunjin’s hand was compared to holding Jungeun’s.
Her stomach had churned at the thought and she pushed it away immediately.
Jinsol lets Hyunjin tug her forward toward the Paradise Cafe. Hyunjin is raving about their coffee and pastries.
“Don’t tell Yeojin, but the cupcakes here are amazing,” Hyunjin grins. The smile is infectious.
Wendy goes into the cafe first with Nayoung walking in last. They watch carefully as Hyunjin orders them both coffees, cookies, and a cupcake to split. It’s not long before they’re sitting at a table outside, an umbrella blocking out the sun. Their guards stand off to the side, letting the women have some privacy.
Hyunjin fiddles with her coffee cup, drawing patterns in the condensation. She stirs it a few times with her straw, the ice cubes clattering against each other.
“I’m sorry for all the security,” Hyunjin says looking at Jinsol for the first time since they sat down. “They take this very seriously.”
“You’re going to be Queen. Your safety is kinda important.” Jinsol grabs Hyunjin’s hand and holds her fingers that haven’t stopped fiddling with her drink.
Hyunjin’s stomach flips. She brushes it off to be more about being Queen than anything. An awkward silence falls over them. Hyunjin overthinking about her future, her decisions, her dad. And Jinsol watches her fidget in her seat. Her other hand never quite stays still, either shaking or playing with a new object on the table. Hyunjin won’t meet her gaze, her nervousness becoming more obvious as time passes.
Jinsol finds it endearing how someone that is typically calm and level-headed turns into such a mess when they’re alone.
“We’ve done this a dozen times,” Jinsol brushes her thumb over Hyunjin’s knuckles. “You’re always so tense, Hyun. It’s just me.”
“I know, I know,” she sips her drink, “but it’s different now.”
Camera’s flash and people greet them as they walk by. Their guards usher them on telling them to give the Princesses some privacy. In the distance, they can vaguely make out Jungwoo talking to her cameraman, probably reporting on their date.
“It doesn’t have to be different.” Jinsol looks out at the bustling city street. Birds fly out from the trees as a car drives by. Dozens of birds flock upward only to descend back down to another tree. She turns her gaze back to Hyunjin who’s mindlessly breaking apart a cookie. “I’m still the girl you grew up stealing desserts with. Just because you’re formally courting me doesn’t mean you have to actually be formal with me.”
Jinsol can see the gears still turning in Hyunjin’s head, pulling her further and further away.
“I’ve literally seen you pick your nose,” Jinsol says bluntly.
Hyunjin’s mask breaks with gasp.
“You have not! I’ve never—”
“Uh-huh, you totally have!” Jinsol laughs, eyes sparkling in sunlight. “You were five—”
“Doesn’t count!” Hyunjin shakes her head as a smile blossoms on her lips.
“Does too!”
Hyunjin throws a balled up straw wrapped at Jinsol. And Jinsol counters with a few ice cubes from her empty drink. People passing by laugh at their antics, and their guards try to stifle their own chuckles as the two women toss random little objects back and forth.
Jinsol’s usual composure in public breaks, and Hyunjin comes out of her cycle of thoughts that had been pulling her down. The two women laugh harder, feeling lighter than when they entered the cafe.
“There it is,” Jinsol says, picking up a piece of cookie.
“What?” Hyunjin asks.
“That smile I love so much.” Jinsol points at Hyunjin’s face with the cookie in hand. “The one right after you laugh, like really laugh. It’s so big, and bright, and...genuine. That one is my favorite.”
“Oh,” Hyunjin whispers, ducking her head to hide the heat rising to her cheeks. She clears her throat after a second and looks to Jinsol. “I bet you’ve picked your nose, too.”
Jinsol scoffs, feigning offense, “Never! I am a proper lady.”
Hyunjin huffs playfully, but doesn’t take her eyes off Jinsol. Her heart hammers against her chest as Jinsol stares back, gaze unwavering.
Later, when they’re walking through the park, Jinsol is telling a story about her sisters. Hyunjin watches her face with rapt attention. They’re laughing, and joking around, hands interlocked between their bodies as they make their way through the winding park paths. Their guards are several paces behind them. The moment is entirely theirs.
Hyunjin is lost in the sound of Jinsol’s voice and her goofy laugh between sentences. There’s this half-grin that’s settled on Jinsol’s face as she tells the story, her other hand moving around as she speaks. It’s in that moment, as the story comes to the end, that Jinsol glances down at Hyunjin. Sunlight is breaking through the leaves on the trees and Jinsol’s smile softens as their eyes meet. Hyunjin decides that’s it, that’s the one. That smile is her favorite. The one that Hyunjin always sees whenever Jinsol looks at her.
It’s late the next night, the guards and lady maids have long since been dismissed leaving Vivi to lounge on the couch in her suite in peace. The soft voices from the TV are murmuring in the background. Her head leans on Haseul’s shoulder as the pair pay no mind to the show on the screen. One hand is clasped in Vivi’s while her free hand runs through the red hair of the queen. This is a usual routine for them. Most nights are spent like this, lounging in relative silence to unwind from a day of appointments and pretending.
Vivi loves these moments with Haseul. Away from prying eyes and obligations, they’re free to be themselves. And for Vivi, that means being open with her affections for the younger woman. Yet, in all the years since Kai passed Vivi hasn’t made any moves to be with the woman she loves. There always seems to be another issue to attend to or obstacle in the way. But Vivi had promised her daughter she would try, it’s just not as easy as she thought it would be.
The Queen plays with Haseul’s fingers on their joined hands. She mindlessly picks each on up and lets them fall back against her other hand.
“I think Hyunjin is starting to warm up to the idea of being with Jinsol,” Vivi says.
“What makes you say that?” Haseul rolls her head to the side, looking down at her.
“The pranking has slowed down a lot. You know that’s how Hyunjin copes with her feelings; she causes chaos,” Vivi says. “I really think only Yerim and Yeojin are doing it now.”
Haseul laughs, “Poor Yeojin, those girls love to mess with her.”
“She got Yerim back pretty good the other day,” Vivi shakes her head with a fond smile. “Frog in a pie. She turned one of their pranks against them.”
Vivi snuggles into Haseul’s side further, she can feel the other woman’s laughter.
“I really need to give Yerim more things to do,” Haseul says, holding tighter to Vivi. She’s not sure what’s changed over the past couple weeks between them, but she isn't complaining. Vivi has been seeking her out, welcoming the affection and open flirtation. Haseul is happy with the change of events, but she can’t help thinking that this is all temporary.
“She has been doing a great job on these past couple events,” Vivi points out.
“I know, I think she’s almost ready to try planning one on her own,” Haseul says.
“I’d say so, too. Yerim is something else. She got all the guests to RSVP on time, including Hyssop, and that never happens,” Vivi says. “These past couple months she and Hyejoo have been doing so well with their duties.”
Haseul sighs, “The girls are all growing up so fast.”
Vivi shifts to look at Haseul seriously.
“Do you think we’ve done well raising them? Teaching them?” Vivi has always worried about how much they’ve done for the trio. Irene, included. There’s so much they’ve tried to impart on them, help them with. Vivi lays awake some nights and wonders if maybe they could’ve done more. For her, especially, she worries about Hyunjin. Maybe she’s missed teaching her something or reassuring her that she’s there.
Haseul hums, “ I do. They don’t need us much anymore. I think that says that they can handle things on their own.”
“I miss when they were little and needed us. Hyunnie’s little voice calling for Mama Seul to help her.”
“Yeah, I miss that, too.”
They fall silent, both lost in a world where Kai was alive and Hyunjin hadn’t pushed them both so far away. Haseul and Vivi cling to each other as they share in the resurfacing of past pain that still aches as if it’s brand new.
Vivi goes back to staring at their hands as she fiddles with them. She thinks about Hyunjin again and the calm demeanor she carries now. It’s been so long since there has been peace in the palace that Vivi isn’t sure what to make of it.
Those who have been around the longest in the palace know what it means when Hyunjin starts to be mischievous. Following Kai’s death, Hyunjin and Yerim were constantly scaring Vivi and the guards every time the princess went missing. When her grades began to slip in high school, the trio started pranking the palace with more and more elaborate schemes. They all thought they had seen the last of it when Hyunjin went off to college, but it seemed like that was back in full force when Vivi dropped the news of the arranged marriage. Sure, the three of them would do small pranks or cause a mess on occasion, but when they escalate...that’s when everyone knows. Hyunjin is trying to fill a void.
Vivi hopes that Hyunjin’s lack of mischief has to do with that void being filled.
“I wish she would come talk to me instead,” Vivi sighs, breaking the silence. “We used to be closer. She used to be closer to both of us.”
Vivi hates what happened between her and Hyunjin. After Kai’s death she let it all slip away. Her grip on her country and her relationships fell apart. Even Haseul had a hard time getting through to her. Vivi lost her best friend, partner, and co-parent. Kai was a main pillar that helped bear the weight of her life and many roles she had to juggle. Without him, she felt like she was drowning in her responsibilities.
She tried with Hyunjin. There was so much she had to do that most nights she could only tuck the little girl in and give her a kiss before slinking off to bed herself. Vivi knows her deteriorated relationship with Hyunjin is her own fault. Hyunjin used to come to her for any and everything she needed. As time went, Hyunjin found new support and new ways to cope. It cast her mom and Haseul out. The two women who wanted nothing more than to be there by her side and help her through the mess of loss and duty. Although their relationship is strained, there is so much love and respect between them. Vivi is certain that Hyunjin knows she can always come to her mom.
“Hyunjin will come to you when she’s ready. You know she likes to try to work through things on her own first,” Haseul wraps her arms around Vivi. “You’re doing what you can to support her while still respecting her boundaries.”
Vivi burrows into Haseul’s embrace, “Thank you, Seulie. You always know what to say to calm me down.”
“That is my job as best friend and adviser.”
Vivi laughs, pushing herself out of Haseul’s arms. Haseul reaches for her again, her fingers wrapping around Vivi’s wrist. She gently tugs Vivi back into her arms. Their faces a hair's breadth away.
“You’ve always been more than that,” Vivi whispers, her breath warm against Haseul’s lips. Both want nothing more than to close that gap. The gap that’s been sitting between them for decades without either being brave enough to cross it. A gap they can only close when they’re drunk or so sleepy they barely even register their lips touching.
Vivi leans forward, more than ready to close the gap and mean it.
Their lips barely brush when there’s a knock at the door.
“Mom?” Hyunjin calls from the other side.
Haseul and Vivi break apart, hearts thundering in their chests and minds clogged with thoughts of what could’ve been.
“Honey, yeah, come in!” Vivi calls to her daughter.
Haseul is prepared to let go of Vivi but she’s taken by surprise when Vivi holds tighter to her. She stays pressed against Haseul’s side, even when Hyunjin rounds the corner into the room.
“Mom—” Hyunjin stops short. “Oh, and Haseul, hi.”
Haseul’s stomach twists.
“I can go…” Haseul starts to move.
“No! No, it’s okay, sorry, I—I just didn’t expect to see you in here,” Hyunjin rushes to say. She smiles at Haseul apologetically. “I, uh, actually came to ask for the family ring.”
“The family ring…” Vivi blinks slowly. “Oh. Oh!”
“Yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot about what we talked about and you were right,” Hyunjin shifts on her feet. “I have to try, right? And I—I really enjoy being around Jinsol. As much as I don’t want to marry to be Queen, I don’t want us to lose the crown without me trying to make this work. And I know that parliament won’t take mine and Jinsol’s relationship seriously if I don’t propose soon.”
Haseul and Vivi exchange weary glances.
“Hyunnie—”
Hyunjin shakes her head at her mom. “I just need more time to think. Right now, this feels okay. Being with Jinsol feels good, safe. I’m just not quite ready to commit to a decision.”
“Okay,” Vivi untangles herself from Haseul, “let me go get it from the safe.” She walks into the closet leaving Haseul and Hyunjin alone in the living room.
“You sure about this, Hyunnie?” Haseul asks, standing up. She walks closer to her.
“Yeah, I need more time to decide and Parliament needs to see progress or we lose the crown. I’ve thought a lot about this, I just want to make the right decision.”
“And what about Jinsol?”
Hyunjin looks away from Haseul, her chest tightening at the idea of hurting her best friend if it comes to that.
“I think she’d want me to choose what will make me happy.”
“You’ve put a lot of thought into this.” Hyunjin nods. “I’m proud of you. Your father would be, too. You have that same pragmatism that he had. Not to mention the bravery to stand by your decisions.”
“Really?” Hyunjin looks back at Haseul. She looks like the same little kid Haseul helped to raise. So hopeful, so kind. Ready to take on the world.
“Really. You’re so much like your father, Hyunjin.”
Hyunjin swallows thickly, “Thanks, Ma—Haseul…”
Haseul ignores the pain at the slip up and hugs Hyunjin tightly.
In her room, Hyunjin holds her great-great-grandmother’s ring in her hand as she waits for Heejin to pick up her call.
“I’m so sorry!” Heejin answers on the first ring. “I meant to call you back the other day, I’ve just been...busy.”
“Calm down, it’s okay,” Hyunjin says. “I—uh, there’s a reason I called actually.”
“Not because you missed me?”
Hyunjin settles against the headboard of her bed. “Of course I missed you, but—”
“That’s not very convincing. I’m starting to think you don’t actually like me, Hyunjin,” Heejin teases. Hyunjin tries to laugh, she wants to, but her heart is aching so painfully in her chest. She can’t deny what she feels for Heejin. It’s a slow burn in the pit of her stomach and she wants so badly to be back in the garden laughing with the other Princess. Unfortunately, their life isn’t that easy. “Because if you don’t—”
“I’m going to propose to Jinsol,” Hyunjin spits out.
“Oh…” Heejin says, clearly taken aback. “That’s—that’s great. Congratulations.”
That ache in her chest worsens. It spreads it’s tendrils throughout her body. She feels paralyzed by the pain she hears in Heejin’s voice.
“Heejin, I’m—”
“No, it’s okay. We knew this would happen.”
Hyunjin’s eyes drift shut trying to keep the tears from falling.
“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck,” Hyunjin whispers, voice thick with the unshed tears. “If we had met sooner…”
“Yeah, maybe…”
She isn’t sure what she was expecting or what she wanted to happen. A declaration of love. For Heejin to beg her not to propose to Jinsol and instead run away with her. Hyunjin doesn’t know what she wanted from Heejin when she called, but it wasn’t this.
Heejin inhales sharply, her voice coming through the speaker hopefully, “We can still talk though, right?”
It’s not a complete resignation, not really, but Hyunjin’s chest tightens at the words. At the idea that she isn’t worth fighting for no matter how wrong it may be.
Through the phone, Hyunjin hears a voice call to Heejin.
“I think it’s best if we don’t talk anymore,” Hyunjin whispers through her tears. “For everyone involved.”
“Right,” Heejin says. Hyunjin swears she hears tears in her voice, too. “Good luck with your engagement.”
The line goes dead and Hyunjin lets the sob she held break out of her. It’s loud, like a beast breaking free from it’s cage. Her whole chest caves in with each sob that falls out. Lungs struggling to gather air leaving her dizzy. It takes all her energy and pride to send a text to Hyejoo and Yerim.
[Princess & the Paupers]
Hyunjin: I need you
Yerim: coming with cuddles!!
Hyejoo: stealing you food, be there soon!
Hyunjin cries herself to sleep that night with Hyejoo and Yerim laying on either side of her. Their arms are wrapped around her waist, holding her tightly. Trying to keep her pieces from falling apart completely.
Jinsol is in her suite a few nights later sitting on the edge of her bed. Her thumbs however over the keyboard on her phone. Jungeun’s name sits on the screen, glaring back at her. Thousands of words race through her mind. All the words that she left unsaid. Everything she is tempted to tell Jungeun now.
Three months of silence. Nearly four months now. Not a single word has been shared between the two of them since Jinsol told Jungeun how she really felt. It’s been radio silence from the moment that door closed behind Jungeun in the palace in Valo. And still Jinsol can’t stop thinking about Jungeun. Even when she’s out with Hyunjin or helping Yerim with another prank on the small baker in the palace. Her mind always drifts to Jungeun. It drifts to all the days they spent laying in the green watching the clouds. To all the afternoons baking with Sowon and Eunha at their estate or the horseback rides through the woods. To the nights they would lie side by side in bed just talking about anything. Those nights, Jinsol shared everything she felt with Jungeun, all her fears and worries about her sisters and herself. About her country and what she could really do for it.
Months of silence and the memories with Jungeun are still just as loud and vibrant.
Her thoughts cycle through the same things, the same feelings and hopes. If she had just said something sooner. If she had stopped being so afraid maybe they could be together now. But then her eyes drift to the keyboard in the room and that old familiar ache rising in her again. She’s done well at keeping the sadness tucked away. Only letting it take up room in her heart and mind for a few minutes before casting it out.
Now, looking at the keyboard, she’s reminded of the devastation she felt when Jungeun left her in the music room without a word. The soul splitting, body shaking sobs that tore through her while she sat at the piano.
Music hadn’t been the same for her since then. She had used it as an escape, a way to express herself with something other than words because words failed her sometimes. Music and words both failed her that day.
Being with Hyunjin has breathed a new life into music for Jinsol. It no longer hurts as much to place her fingers on the keys or to hear the note ring out. There is still a dull ache underlying every note, every word sung, but it’s easier when she can look over and see Hyunjin smiling at her.
Jinsol glances back down at her phone, the text box still empty in the message to Jungeun.
“She isn’t thinking about you. Stop thinking about her,” Jinsol groans to herself. She closes the message and locks her phone, tossing it behind her onto her pillows. She falls back onto the bed and slings her arm over her face.
Not a second later, she hears a knock coming from the door of her suite. She walks over quickly, flinging the door open wondering why someone was here so late.
Yerim greets her with a bright smile and a note.
“Hi Jinsol!” She passes her the note. “Okay, bye Jinsol!”
Before Jinsol can question her, Yerim turns and runs down the hallway. Flower petals kick up in her wake.
“Wait, flower petals?” Jinsol frowns and opens the note, reading it out loud. “Follow the petals.”
Jinsol tugs on a cardigan, slides into her slippers, and closes her door behind her. She follows the path of pink petals through the hallway, confusion clearly etched on her face. Several turns down hallways later and she hears quiet music playing through the speakers on the table. Petals lead her straight out to the back of the palace and onto the balcony. It’s much darker outside, all the lamps that usually light the paths of the South lawn are off.
As confused as she may be, Jinsol has an inkling of what is about to happen. The flower petal path and the classical music playing from behind her are hints enough. She didn’t come to the palace in Fiore just to spend time with her childhood friend, but to be courted by Hyunjin. While that may have been the goal, Jinsol is still shocked that it might already be happening.
The darkness is lit up suddenly. An arrow lit with fire arches into the sky from below her. She follows the light as it hits its peak and then quickly falls to the grass. Or, maybe it’s not grass. Jinsol can’t tell in the darkness. But the fire slowly begins to spread, letters appearing one by one.
Will you marry me? appears on the grown, flames flickering in the night.
“So, what do you say?” Hyunjin says from behind Jinsol. She turns around to find the Princess on one knee, an open ring box in her hand. Set in the black velvety cushion is a round cut diamond ring set in a platinum band. Smaller diamonds are set on the shoulders of the ring, sparkling in the light coming from the hallway behind them. “This is my great-great grandmother’s ring, the diamonds came from her mother’s very first tiara. She was an incredible woman, ruled with integrity and kindness. That’s the kind of Queen I know you will be. So, Jung Jinsol, will you marry me?”
Hyunjin’s heart is racing as she’s looking up at Jinsol. Her hands are shaking, and her knee is starting to hurt from kneeling. All her thoughts are crashing together, and the silence from Jinsol isn’t helping.
And then she sees it. That slow growing, tender smile that Jinsol has whenever she looks at Hyunjin.
Her heart rate slows, her hands steady.
“Yes,” Jinsol says, reaching out to Hyunjin. The ring slides on without an issue. Jinsol wraps her arms around Hyunjin’s shoulder, pulling her in close. She tucks her chin over her shoulder as Hyunjin buries her face in the blonde’s neck. “You really know how to make a woman feel like a princess.”
“You are a princess…” Hyunjin says, lifting her head to look at Jinsol.
“Okay, fine,” Jinsol rolls her eyes. “A queen.”
Hyunjin thinks, for a moment, of what she said to her mom about needing more time to think. Standing here, in Jinsol’s arms, Hyunjin isn’t sure she needs to think about it anymore. Jinsol has been there from day one, she’s her best friend. Hyunjin knows without a doubt that Jinsol will make a great Queen. If marrying Jinsol means her family doesn’t lose the crown and she can rule the country with her best friend, then that has to be enough. Maybe the only love that Hyunjin is destined to have is a platonic love. And as much as that hurts, Hyunjin might finally understand how her parents could go through with their own marriage. Maybe there isn’t anything left to think about.
Hyunjin smiles, “You’ll be my Queen soon enough, Sol”
Jinsol and Hyunjin make the formal announcement of their engagement a few days later. The press and public gather in front of the palace. Cameras and microphones face them as they greet the country. There really isn’t much to say other than that they are engaged and stand for photos.
Jinsol stands stick straight next to Hyunjin, her hands glued to her sides. All the faces watching her, all the people probably watching from home and across the world. Jessica’s instructions run through her head, telling her to be poised and elegant.
Hyunjin glances at her and frowns slightly. It’s not hard for her to see that Jinsol is terrified. She’s sure that her people see it too. Cameras continue to flash in front of them, but Hyunjin turns to Jinsol. Fingers poke into Jinsol’s sides making the blonde jump.
“Hyunjin,” Jinsol scowls. The crowd laughs at the situation making Jinsol blush.
Ignoring the scolding, Hyunjin continues to poke her. Making silly faces until the stoic look fades from Jinsol’s face, giving way to a brilliant smile.
“Just be you,” Hyunjin leans in to whisper in her ear. “They’re going to love you.” She wraps an arm around Jinsol, hand gripping lightly at her hip. Hyunjin places a kiss on her cheek, both women blush at the action. The crowd below them coos at the affection. More cameras flash as they wave happily at the people of Fiore, both present and those watching from screens at home. Jinsol melts into the embrace, an ease washing over her. And Hyunjin feels it, too.
They’re ushered back inside, the heavy front doors shutting behind them. But Hyunjin keeps her grip on Jinsol.
The next day, the foyer is filled with bouquet, vases, and other arrangements of bird of paradise flowers, the flowers the very capital is named after. Jinsol stands among the flowers in awe, eyes sparkling in wonder. Hyunjin stands back and watches with a small smile.
“It’s a sign. A gesture,” Vivi says coming up behind her daughter. Vivi remembers the day that the palace had been filled with these very flowers when her and Kai announced their engagement. Her heart warms at the memory.
“A sign of what?” Jinsol stops to pick up a bouquet. Bright oranges and vibrant blues stare back at her. The note attached to the bouquet addressed to her. Her smile widens.
“Of respect,” Vivi says.
“It means the people have accepted our engagement,” Hyunjin adds. “The more flowers, the more approval and adoration you’ve gained from the people.”
Jinsol’s eyes widen, jaw dropping. “The whole foyer is filled with flowers!”
A footman at the front door clears his throat, “There are more outside, Your Highness.”
He opens the door to reveal piles of loose bird of paradise flowers on the front platform. It doesn’t stop there. Flowers line the staircases on either side leading down to the driveway. Bouquets and bundles and loose flowers are scattered about. It’s a sea of orange, blue, and green.
“Oh, my god…” Jinsol gasps, hand clutching her chest. Tears well up in her eyes as she takes in the overwhelming symbols of love from the Fiorens.
Hyunjin walks up beside her, bumping her shoulder against Jinsol’s.
“Told you they’d love you, Sol.” She hugs Jinsol, laughing as the other begins to cry. Over Jinsol’s shoulder, Hyunjin sees her mom smiling at her with pride before disappearing up the staircase.
They’re left alone standing among the flowers, a clear sign that Fiorens think she made the right decision. Yet, Hyunjin’s not sure why something doesn’t feel quite right about it.
Notes:
I’ll be starting biweekly updates now. next chapter will be July 17th or 18th
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
ask me things here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96
Chapter 12: The Stars and The Clouds
Notes:
I know I updated early again. I really should just not say anything sdlfkjsklj but whatever, it honestly depends on my work load. So maybe I'll update next week, maybe I'll update the week after. But it'll be one of the two.
ANNNYWAAY, enjoy this super heavily heelip chapter. It's one of my favorites.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter Twelve: The Stars and The Clouds
Sooyoung sits on the balcony of her suite with Heejin beside her. The summer sun rises higher into the sky. Both women are thankful for the shade they get from the awning above them. Heejin isn’t sure why her aunt invited her up to the balcony this afternoon. Seeing as they have been sitting here for several minutes without speaking, she’s left to wonder in silence.
They’re all set to travel to Valo tomorrow to spend time with Jungeun’s parents. It’s supposed to be a family dinner of sorts for both families to get to know each other better. Honestly, it’s only a formality seeing as they have all met on multiple occasions. They’re only going to be in Valo for one day before going to Fiore for the State Banquet.
Jungeun has gone ahead of Heejin and her family to spend more time with her moms. They’ve finally come back from a trip and Jungeun wanted to see them for longer. Heejin understands that. She’d give anything to spend an extra couple days with her parents if she could. And Heejin wasn’t going to hold Jungeun back from doing that.
But an absence of Jungeun means that Heejin is alone for the time being. Sure, she has her sister and her aunt. She even has Jiwoo. But it’s not the same. Not when she has spent the past couple months with Jungeun constantly by her side.
Heejin tries not to dwell on the empty space beside her.
In the chair opposite of Heejin, Sooyoung sits, watching her niece frown. She isn’t sure where to start with what she needs to talk to Heejin about. Parliament has been placing ample pressure on her to speed up the engagement and set a wedding date. Even though Lord Jackson has given Heejin a year to marry, Sooyoung is well aware that the longer they wait, the more it will come back to haunt her niece when she is Queen.
She’s been meaning to have this conversation for a while, but it’s nearly impossible to catch Heejin without Jungeun. Sooyoung decides that now is the best time while Jungeun is not in the palace to talk to Heejin. It’s not a conversation Sooyoung wants to have privately with her niece. Over the past couple months, she’s really seen Heejin grow in so many ways. And Jungeun is to thank for that obvious progress. The young woman has been a tremendous influence on Heejin, everyone in the palace—even in Statera—can see that. But Sooyoung needs to see that the growth is still present when Jungeun isn’t there. She wants to see that honesty and emotional vulnerability that Heejin is capable of without Jungeun being right next to her. She wants to know that Heejin has gained more strength to be open without needing to siphon that strength from Jungeun constantly.
There’s nothing wrong with relying on a partner for strength, Sooyoung knows she does that with Jiwoo. But she can also stand on her own. Heejin needs to be able to as well.
“You and Jungeun have been getting along well,” Sooyoung finally says, drawing Heejin’s attention toward her.
Heejin rolls her eyes. “Yeah, she’s my best friend.”
Sooyoung reaches over and flicks her niece. “Don’t roll your eyes at me! You know in what context I meant.”
Sighing, Heejin settles back into her chair. “Eun’s been great to have around. It’s nice having that immediate support at events, you know? Someone to lean on who gets what it’s like to feel—” She pauses, taking a deep breath, eyes drifting out over the sprawling lawn below them. In the distance, she sees two horseback riders gallop across the lawn. “Someone who also feels that they’re not worthy of this.”
“Is that why you haven’t wanted to set a date for the wedding?” Sooyoung asks, keeping her eyes on Heejin. Opening her fan, she begins to slowly fan herself, waiting for an answer.
Heejin’s stomach drops at the question. She bites her lip.
“I know Parliament has been bothering you about that.” Heejin tugs at her braided hair. “I’m sorry, I know that it’s not something you should have to deal with.”
Sooyoung shakes her head. “Your happiness and well being comes first to me, always. Don’t ever think that it’s a burden for me to fight for you.”
Heejin looks over at her aunt and they share a smile.
“I—I’ve been pushing it off not because I don’t want to marry Jungeun. I’m more than happy to marry her. She has all the qualities of an amazing queen. I have no doubts about that.” Heejin looks back out at the palace grounds. “I’m just worried. The moment we commit to getting married it all becomes real and I don’t—I don’t think I’m ready to be Queen. I don’t think I’m fit to rule.”
A knot forms in Heejin’s stomach, her chest tightening at the admission. She’s said it to Jungeun before and a few times to her parents when they were still alive and she was just a kid. But it’s different admitting it to the person who’s holding the throne for her. Sooyoung has to be Queen until Heejin is married, until she is ready to take that responsibility. Her aunt’s happiness rides on Heejin taking the throne. Admitting this feels like she just sucker punched her aunt.
But Sooyoung doesn’t see it that way. Doesn’t have any ill-will toward Heejin. She’d much rather her niece take the throne when she’s ready, when she’s confident in her own abilities to lead a country. Sooyoung knows Heejin is ready, it’s just a matter of the young woman knowing that for herself.
“What makes you feel like that?”
“Things other nobles have said. Things our people have said…” Heejin glances at Sooyoung. “Things you’ve said to me. I know I’ve had a temper. I’ve had a hard time controlling my emotions to the point that I just—I just shoved them to the side. Pushed them away so I didn’t have to deal with them or feel them because I didn’t like being out of control. If I open up and let myself have those emotions….It makes me feel weak and I have to be strong. I have to be sharp.”
Her fingers brush along the rose on her necklace. Sunmi’s words echoing in her head. A lump forms in her throat as she thinks about her parents words to her. About all they tried to impart on her before they died so suddenly. Heejin has only ever wanted to be a ruler worthy of her parents' legacy.
Sooyoung sees Heejin playing with the necklace. She’s never received a rose symbol. She was never supposed to be Queen to begin with. Lacking that symbol means she’s not supposed to be on this throne, not longer than necessary. The rightful Queen is Heejin, and that necklace shows that. The weight of the rose around Heejin’s neck must be immense, even if she has been meant for the throne since birth. Heejin may be meant for the throne, but she also deserves it.
“You’ve grown a lot over the past couple months. I don’t think you would have admitted any of that last year. I’ve seen you really start to express yourself and open up more, even in smaller ways,” Sooyoung says. She sits up, and turns to face Heejin. When she gets her attention, she keeps a meaningful gaze on her. “To be Queen is to be empathetic, but it’s also to be decisive, even when it may be considered harsh. It’s a balance. There’s nothing wrong with being sharp, Heejin. You just need to remember that you have to be delicate, too.”
As Heejin is looking at her aunt, the gaze that stares back at her is reminiscent of her mom. Even the words are familiar. Be sharp. Be delicate. It all strikes a chord in her that breaks the dam. The dam that’s held so much back over the years. Everything rushes out of her at once. All the pain, longing, and insecurities pour out of her in a strangled sob.
Sooyoung goes to her side and wraps an arm around her shoulder. It’s a silent reassurance that it’s okay. It’s okay to let it out. It’s okay to feel it. They stay like that until Heejin has run her tears dry. Until the sun hits the highest point in the sky.
While her aunt’s comfort is appreciated, Heejin wishes she could run to Jungeun. She wishes she could go to Jungeun’s room and fall into her arms. That’s what she needs right now. Her heart tugs in her chest at the idea of finally seeing her friend tomorrow. Something just doesn’t feel right without her.
In Valo, at the Ivy Estate, Jungeun sits with her moms around the kitchen island. They’ve just placed the pan of Sowon’s famous brownies into the oven and set the timer. Jungeun is happy to finally be able to see her moms. To spend time as a family like they used to before this engagement to Heejin. She would have come home to visit sooner but Sowon and Eunha had been away looking for her uncle, Duke Myungsoo. And it had been difficult to leave Statera with all the events that the royal family had to attend. This is the first break Jungeun gets before her idea of normal changes completely.
Though, her old normal has changed a lot since she left. That’s evident from her mom’s pink hair.
“Your mom had a bit of a crisis after you moved out,” Sowon says, stifling a laugh.
“It was not a crisis!” Eunha glares at her wife. “I only dyed my hair, Sowon. You’re exaggerating.”
“You cried for three days in Jungeun’s room and then came home with pink hair.” Sowon runs a hand through Eunha’s hair. “Makes no difference to me, you’re beautiful no matter what.”
Jungeun grins watching her parents, heart full of love. But she still fake gags at their affection. Neither pay their daughter any mind.
“Even if I was having a crisis?”
“Yes, even then,” Sowon rolls her eyes and kisses her wife.
“Hello? I’m still right here!” Jungeun waves her hands in the air. “You’ve been together for the past couple months. You don’t need to be this mushy.”
“Aw, didn’t you miss this?” Eunha pinches Sowon’s cheek with a sweet smile. Sowon is less than pleased but doesn’t push her hand away.
“I did,” Jungeun glances out the kitchen window.
The summer sun beats down, shining through the glass and illuminating the kitchen. Sowon and Eunha are gazing at her softly. It’s been too long without seeing her. They may have had the night of the ball with their daughter, but that’s miniscule in comparison to the years they spent raising her. The time they spent apart has obviously brought changes—the pink hair is one of them. But Sowon and Eunha can see a change in their daughter too.
“Did you find Uncle Myungsoo?” Jungeun finally asks. She turns back to her moms who are still staring at her fondly. “What? Is there brownie batter on my face?”
Eunha shakes her head and moves to sit beside her daughter. She kisses Jungeun’s cheek and squeezes her tightly.
“No, we just love you, Jungeunie.”
Sowon nods.
“To answer your other question, we did find him,” Sowon says. She rolls her eyes at the memory of his drunken, passed out body at a casino a few hours away. It took far too long to sober him up and talk some sense into him.
Sowon loves her brother. He hadn’t always been a gambler and a drunk. He once had been her protector, her best friend. She’s not entirely sure where all that changed.
“He agreed to seek help and signed paperwork that limits his access to the family funds,” Sowon says, folding and refolding the hand towel. “He can still afford plenty, but if he spends it gambling and stops going to treatment….”
Eunha lays a hand gently on top of Sowon’s.
“There’s only so much you can do,” Eunha says soothingly. “And you’ve done plenty.”
“You’re right, if he doesn’t want to change he isn’t going to, no matter what I do.” Sowon smiles at her wife and daughter. “I’ll do what I can to help him, but I refuse to let him continue to hurt my family.”
They share a silent moment as a unit. Hands holding onto each other.
“I’m just happy to be able to see you both again,” Jungeun says.
“You know, Jungeunie, you don’t need to marry Heejin now that I settled things with my brother. Our financial situation is getting better.”
Jungeun shakes her head. “You always taught me that when I make a commitment I must follow through.”
“Sweetie,” Eunha frowns, “I’m sure Heejin would understand. Maybe then you could finally be with Jinsol.”
Jungeun snorts but then takes in her parents' confused gazes. Her eyes widen.
“Wait, you—are you being serious?” Jungeun looks between her mom and mama. “Heejin is my best friend. I made her a promise and I am going to keep it. She’s—she’s been really good to me…”
Sowon and Eunha exchange curious glances.
“Besides, I lost my chance with Jinsol. I really—“ Jungeun blinks, suddenly overwhelmed. “I fucked that up.”
Sowon comes over to her daughter, her wife on the other side. Both place their hands on Jungeun’s hand.
“Are you happy? With Heejin and becoming a Queen?” Sowon asks.
Jungeun thinks for a moment, eyes focused on the timer winding down on the oven. She thinks of the past three months, of the countless nights crying in Heejin’s arms. Of the days in the eyes of the public where Heejin had made her feel nothing but accepted. Of the afternoons in the palace or in their secret spot that Heejin once shared with her father, King Seokjin. Heejin who has protected her, uplifted her, and welcomed her so warmly into her life and her home. Jungeun is wholeheartedly accepted, no stipulations, no judgments.
“Yeah, I think I am,” Jungeun says.
The conversation is cut short by the timer going off. Jungeun is left watching her moms work side by side to set the brownies to cool. An effortless dance between two people in love, who know how the other thinks and works. Sowon hands Eunha a towel right before she reaches for one. The smile they share is softer than the ones Jungeun ever truly witnessed. It’s a smile that’s entirely theirs.
Jungeun wants that.
“Why don’t we play that game while the brownies cool? You know, the one you came up when you were a kid?” Sowon asks.
“Wall Bounce?” Jungeun laughs. “You made me write a rule book for you when I was twelve so you could play with Mom and I.”
“I’ve been brushing up on the rules,” Sowon grins. “I’m gonna win today.”
“In your dreams, honey,” Eunha struts past her wife.
“You’re both going to lose, I invented the game!” Jungeun races after her parents. They toss her a newer red ball when she steps out to the backyard. The summer heat is stifling, but the smiles on their faces shows they don’t even care.
The next day, Heejin arrives at the Ivy Estates with her family. She has been counting down the hours until she can finally see her friend again. Without Jungeun, Heejin has felt a little aimless and entirely lonely. Sure, Sooyoung, Somi, and Jiwoo have been around, but they aren’t Jungeun. They don’t understand her like Jungeun does. And the moment that Heejin had seen Jungeun when the door opened, she didn’t hesitate to throw herself into the older woman’s arms. She didn’t hear the teasing from Somi or the coos from her aunt. All she had heard was Jungeun’s soft greeting. It had been enough to ease her rapidly beating heart.
Heejin is not sure what she expected when her and Jungeun’s family formally met, but she did not expect them to get along so well. Her worries had been surmounting over the past couple days about this very meeting. One where Sowon and Eunha aren’t meeting the Queen of Statera, but the guardian of their daughter’s fiancée. There’s a certain level of formality that comes with meeting a Queen, but Sooyoung doesn’t want them to feel as if they have to act in that way. She’s there as someone who is soon to be their family. There doesn’t need to be the same formalities.
The moment Sooyoung makes that clear, the tension dissipates. Sowon and Eunha relax, immediately falling into easy conversation with the Jeons. In the living room, Eunha is laughing with Jiwoo and Somi as the pair tell her a story. It’s clearly lighthearted given the matching smiles on their faces and the lilt of laughter that drifts through the room. Jiwoo’s energy is easily matched by Eunha, the pair egging each other on as they talk.
Across the room, Sowon and Sooyoung are engaged in a more serious conversation at the wet bar. They both nurse glasses of wine in their hands, head bent closer together as they speak. It’s a mix of hushed tones and furrowed brows that eventually give way to a round of boisterous laughter.
Jungeun and Heejin stand off to the side watching as their family interacts. They both feel a swell of happiness fill them at the sight of their family mixed together. It’s not much, but it’s more than either could have imagined. Especially Heejin who only ever thought her marriage would be loveless and miserable. But standing in this room, surrounded by people that love them both and are willing to get to know each other, Heejin knows she made the right choice in proposing to Jungeun. Even if it was over the phone.
The couple takes that chance while their family is preoccupied to sneak outside for a walk. With their hands clasped and swinging between them, Jungeun leads Heejin on a walk around the property. As they wander through the grass and shrubberies, both feel more at ease than they have in days. Heejin has been a jittery mess since Jungeun went to visit her moms early, but having her next to her makes it easier to breathe. And as much as Jungeun has missed her moms, having Heejin here makes it feel more like home.
“It’s weird being back here,” Jungeun says as they pass through an archway of purple flowers into a small garden. Grass paths weave through the garden between beds of flowers, trees, and shrubs.
Heejin glances up at Jungeun before kicking a stone with her foot. It skitters across the grass into a bed of mulch. They continue to walk as Heejin waits quietly for Jungeun to elaborate.
“I haven’t been back here since…” Jungeun looks off at a large open patch of grass. “Well, since you proposed. Since Jinsol told me she loved me and I—I was already engaged to you.”
She dares to look at Heejin. This isn’t something she’s ever told her before. Though Heejin has made her own guesses about Jungeun and Jinsol’s relationship, she has never had the full story. She had known that there was once something between the two, and recent events from the ball in Fiore has proven that there may still be lingering feelings, but Heejin never knew what happened before Jungeun left Valo. Guilt blooms in her chest.
“Why didn’t you break it off with me?”
“I made you a promise, I wasn’t going to go back on that.”
“Even though it made you miserable.” Heejin pulls them to a stop between two trees. Flowers wrap around the ground by the tree trunks. Bees buzz from flower to flower.
Jungeun’s eyes widened at the suggestion.
“I’m not miserable,” Jungeun says indignantly. “I just—being with you felt like the right choice. Jinsol and I had years to be together and we never made a move. I couldn’t wait any longer and I wouldn’t—I didn’t want her to marry me solely because I had money problems. She told me too late. I made my decision.”
Heejin shakes her head and releases Jungeun’s hand. Her own coming up and running through her hair. She lets out a frustrated groan before turning her attention back to Jungeun.
“I never would have asked you or let you accept my proposal if I knew this. You had a chance at real love , Jungeun. Why would you settle for this? For me?”
“Will you stop putting words in my mouth? I’m not settling.” Jungeun’s brows knit together. She watches Heejin begin to pace in front of her. The young princess getting more and more worked up as time goes. “Heejin, being with you is not me settling.”
Heejin picks up a rock and hurls it across the garden. A scream tries to break out of her only to be stifled into a grunt. Something is building up inside her. The guilt of holding Jungeun back from being with Jinsol. The inadequacy of not being the best she can be for herself, for Jungeun, for her country. The rejection of Hyunjin choosing to let her go. It all climbs up and out. Tight throat, heavy chest, closed fist pain.
“You had love right there!” Heejin yells, turning to face Jungeun. “You had it—You had it and I took that chance away from you. You could be happy with Jinsol. You wouldn’t have to be Queen. You could just—You could—I dunno! Whatever you could’ve had I ruined that all for you! I took that away. I made everything so much more difficult for you.”
Heejin is overwhelmed. Heart hammering in her chest, fists shaking at her side. Her breath coming out in quick, short bursts. Jungeun is gazing at her carefully. The look is soft, open, willing to listen. It’s making Heejin want to scream even more.
She turns toward the tree, looking up at the sunlight that streams through the breaks in the branches and leaves. Watching the leaves move in the wind and tracing the lines of the tree with her eyes. She breathes, starts to push the anger and pain she is feeling down into that pit she leaves her emotions in. But no amount of pushing it down makes those feelings go away. Tears slowly form in the corner of her eyes.
Heejin feels herself starting to crumble when Jungeun grasps her shaking hand. She peers at Jungeun beside her. Their hands are interlocked. Jungeun stares up at the tree the same way Heejin was a moment ago. She turns her gaze back to the leaves above them.
“You asked me to marry you, you didn’t force it on me or give me no other choice. I had a choice. I could’ve said no and chosen Jinsol. But I didn’t. I chose you.” Jungeun is crying, too. She did have a chance with Jinsol. She could have easily broken it off with Heejin that next day and let herself fall into Jinsol’s open arms. But the pain she feels from that missed opportunity is nothing in comparison to the pain she feels thinking of all that Heejin has been carrying. “I made the decision to spend my life with you that night on the phone. And I made that same decision the next day when Jinsol confessed.”
Jungeun stands in front of Heejin now. She reaches out and holds Heejin’s face between her hands. Their teary eyes meet and Heejin sheds another tear. Jungeun brushes it away with her thumb.
“I chose you, Heejin. None of the pain I feel is your fault. Really, all you’re responsible for is the happiness and security I have felt these past few months. Don’t blame yourself for my decisions.”
Heejin blinks slowly and for a moment Jungeun thinks she’s lost her. But slowly, Heejin nods and collapses into Jungeun’s arms.
“I’m so sorry you don’t get to have the fairytale you wanted,” Heejin murmurs against Jungeun’s neck.
“Fairytales are overrated anyway,” Jungeun laughs through her own tears. “We can always write our own.”
They make their way back to the patio after they’ve calmed down a bit. Their family is waiting at the table, lunch is spread out across the surface, everyone chattering as they wait for Heejin and Jungeun to appear.
Sowon and Eunha see them round the corner of the house first. Eunha’s smile widens at the sight of Jungeun leaning into Heejin’s side, their hands clasped between them. She looks to her wife to find she’s staring at the young couple, too. The Duchesses share a smile knowing that their daughter is in good hands.
Over at the palace in Clara, Jessica has a meeting with her sisters and Sunny. It’s time they are all fully clued into what is really going on in Valo. Though she has enlisted Krystal and Sunny’s help in the past with certain aspects of the crisis, she has yet to give them the full details. But Jessica is fairly certain that they have all picked up on the current issue.
It’s not that she didn’t want their help to begin with. She did, but it’s her job as Queen to handle these situations. But the more time that’s passed since the issue has been brought to her attention, the worse it’s beginning to get and she’s running out of ideas. More specifically, Jessica is running out of energy. Day in and day out she is hidden away in her office, hunched over her desk, pouring over reports hoping to find the answer somewhere. And she keeps coming up empty.
No amount of sleepless nights or missed meals is doing her any good. The only person she’s truly seen over the past couple weeks is Sunny. And that’s only because Sunny forces herself into the office with food or just to talk and distract Jessica from her duties.
Maybe it’s not a distraction as much as a needed break. But still, whenever Sunny does appear with a cup of tea and a snack, Jessica is almost always relieved. Begrudgingly relieved, but still relieved. There’s something about Sunny’s presence that puts Jessica at ease. Probably because she has been around so many years, has put up with her stubbornness and stood by her. Yeah, that’s probably it.
Jessica finally gathered Krystal, Sunny, and Yerin in her office to fill them in on the current health crisis in Valo. They sit around the small table in her office, flipping slowly through the copy of the report that Jessica has been obsessively pouring over for weeks. It’s silent in the room except for the turning of pages and disgruntled sighs.
Krystal finishes reading the report first, closing with a heavy hand. Leave it to Jessica to allow a contagious disease to spread through Valo. The report is showing that she has tried certain preventative measures, but the numbers are showing a rapid increase of people infected.
“How long have you known about this?” She asks her sister pointedly.
“Several months,” Jessica casts her eyes downward.
“Several months,” Yerin mutters. “And why didn’t you tell us sooner?”
“It’s my job to handle issues that arise in the country.”
Krystal rolls her eyes, “It’s your job to delegate and seek assistance. You are not running the country on your own. You have several governmental branches that are in place to help you. Jessica, you have us to help you. How many times do we have to tell you this?”
“You’re not alone,” Yerin adds, nodding to Krystal’s words. “Stop acting like we’re kids.”
“I told you they would help,” Sunny sings with a smirk. “But, on a serious note, what have you done so far?”
“We don’t have many resources for any kind of protective wear or to pour money into a vaccine,” Jessica sighs. She slides a hand down her face in frustration. “I’ve implemented some testing sites and given out as much medical supplies as I can afford, but we just don’t have the funds. We weren’t prepared for this.”
“How rapidly is it spreading?” Krystal asks.
“Not very, no more than a handful of cases in some regions,” Sunny says, pulling out the page from the report. “It seems to be slow moving.”
“So, we need to reach out to our allies and ask for assistance,” Yerin writes down the country’s rulers on a page in her notepad. “This isn’t just a problem for Valo. If this begins to spread across country lines, then it becomes their problem, too. Hyssop has the best scientists on this side of the globe. And Statera and Fiore are the wealthiest. We need to reach out and inform them of the situation and then plan a conference to work out the details.”
Krystal, Jessica, and Sunny stare at the youngest woman in the room in awe. Yerin glances up from her notebook. She shifts in her seat, setting her pen down.
“Did I say something wrong?”
“No, that’s—”
“That’s exactly what I should’ve done in the first place,” Jessica says cutting off Krystal. “I know I fucked up not pulling you all into the loop sooner. I am too proud and controlling, I know that. But I believe we can get ahead of this before it gets worse.”
Krystal watches Sunny reach across the table and grips Jessica’s hand. Her sister doesn’t pull away or flinch and Krystal finds that most interesting. She clears her throat though and breaks them apart. Both their faces turn a little pink.
“The State Banquet in Fiore is tomorrow, do you plan on speaking to Queen Vivi?” She asks Jessica.
“I plan on calling her later and sending the reports over to her. I’m sure she will be more than happy to help. She has always been the most compassionate of our allies.”
Krystal and Yerin nod in agreement. They decide to split the list Yerin created to contact the other countries for assistance before they end their meeting. Sunny stays back as Yerin and Krystal leave the office.
Jessica leans back in her seat and releases a heavy sigh. Sunny approaches and wraps an arm around Jessica, laying her chin on her shoulder. Jessica places a hand on Sunny’s arm and revels in the warmth it brings to her. She takes a deep breath, trying to soothe the anxiety that has had it’s claws in her since this all began. She’s finally asking for help, and some of the weight has lifted from her chest.
“You’re doing your best,” Sunny whispers.
Jessica sighs, “Sometimes my best isn’t good enough.”
Krystal walks back to her room to find Bora already lounging on her couch watching TV. She walks over and pushes the shorter woman’s legs off the couch only to pull them back up onto her lap once she settles. Bora smiles at her.
“Don’t you have a job to do?” Krystal teases. The voice of Uhm Jungwoo floats through the room giving another update on the royal family in Fiore.
“Mm, I finished everything I needed to do already,” Bora gestures around the room. Krystal can see the bed is made in her room. Clothes laid out for travel the next day and suitcase by the door. Everything is dusted and shining. “I didn’t think M’Lady would mind if I relaxed a little bit while she was in a meeting.”
Krystal rubs Bora’s legs and laughs. Her eyes drift to the woman next to her, her heart thrumming in her chest.
“You know I don’t care what you do and don’t do, Bora.” Krystal smiles, “I’m just happy to find you here after that meeting.”
“How’d it go?”
Krystal sighs, dropping her head against the back of the couch.
“It was a lot to take in honestly.”
Bora shifts and pulls her legs away, placing them on the ground and beckoning Krystal to come closer. She slides across the couch. Bora tugs her in close, an arm slung around her shoulders, fingers running gently through her hair.
“I need to do more to help Jessica,” Krystal says. “I have no authority over her. She can do whatever she wants and dismiss any advice I give or anything I do. But I know she can’t do this alone anymore.”
“If only you were, like, forced to marry to have that partner. Except, maybe not marry, like you could choose a partner to rule with that’s more of a business partner, you know?”
Krystal lets those words wash over her as Bora continues to play with her hair. Her eyes start to close at the comfort that the gesture is giving her. Just as she fully relaxes an idea grows in her mind.
“Oh, my god.” Krystal sits up quickly making Bora yank on her hair. But Krystal’s too excited to even acknowledge it. “Bora, you’re a genius. I could kiss you!”
She darts up and starts to move around quickly.
“I wouldn’t object to that,” Bora grins.
Krystal ignores it as she searches for her cell phone.
“I need to call Jungeun.” She bolts out of the room trying to find it though she’s realizing she might have left it in Jessica’s office. Her mind is racing a mile a minute trying to piece together this idea that Jungeun can help her with. She knows more about making legislation than anyone else after all.
“So, no kisses then?” Bora shouts. Krystal comes back into the room and kisses Bora on the cheek before she rushes out of the suite. Bora grumbles as she falls back against the couch. Though a goofy smile grows on her face.
Yerin is in the car taking the short ride to the Ivy Estate with Johnny driving. She’s heard through the grapevine that Duchess Sowon and Duchess Eunha are back from their trip. Yerin rushed to the car to go see them to talk about funding for the carnival. She’d hate to interrupt family time because she knows Jungeun is visiting as well, but she really needs to get this carnival going.
She’s been able to move the children from the crumbling children’s home in town to the other palace out by Kaffir Bay. As necessary as it was to move them out there, Yerin misses seeing the kids more often. It’s too far of a trek to go everyday like she used to. Yeji calls her almost everyday from Seulgi’s phone asking when she’s going to come visit. And all Yerin can say is soon. Every time it’s “I’ll be there soon, I promise.” But she only wants to show up when she has good news. Yeji deserves to hear that good news. Those kids all deserve to hear good news. It’s only making her work harder to get the carnival going.
They pull up to the estate and Yerin knocks on the front door. When Sowon opens the door, the noise from inside spills out into the night.
“Your Highness,” Sowon says, bowing her head lightly. “What brings you here?”
“I’m sorry, I should have called ahead, I see you have guests,” Yerin peers over Sowon’s shoulder and sees Queen Sooyoung and Princess Heejin on the couch.
“No, no, it’s quite alright,” Sowon opens the door further, inviting her in. “It must be important for you to come here this late.”
“Yes, actually, I’ve been trying to get in contact with you for a few weeks,” Yerin says following Sowon into the living room. She greets everyone politely before settling onto the chair next to the couch where Sooyoung and Heejin are sitting. Sowon and Eunha sit opposite her, looking at her expectantly. “Right, I’ll just get to it. As you know, I’ve been volunteering most of my time to help the children down at the Clara Children’s Home.”
Heejin reaches out and tugs Jungeun closer to her.
“The state of the house is awful and I’ve been trying to get funding to do a carnival for the kids and to raise money and volunteers to help fix it up,” Yerin glances at Jungeun and then back to the Duchesses. “I know that Jungeun was adopted from there and that you all have a connection to it. I’m hopeful you are able to contribute some money to get this project running.”
Heejin feels Jungeun tense beside her. Her eyes drift over to Sowon and Eunha who are sitting as tense. It’s then that Heejin really sees that no one in Valo, no one outside of herself, actually knows about the Kims' financial struggles. Without consulting her aunt, Heejin speaks up.
“We can donate the money,” Heejin says. All eyes turn toward her. “The children’s home is obviously important to you, Yerin, and it’s also very close to Jungeun and her family. If Sooyoung is okay with it, I will happily donate whatever funds you need to kick-start the carnival, and get the renovations underway.”
Sooyoung looks at her niece with the utmost pride in her eyes. Somi and Jiwoo are smiling at Heejin, too when Sooyoung nods.
“Of course, the children are clearly in need and we are more than happy to help,” Sooyoung says. “I’ll have my financial department work out the funds with you and have it wired right away.”
Yerin is smiling widely, not even phased by the money coming from a completely different family than she intended. She doesn’t care. All she can think about is the smiles on Yeji’s and the other kid’s faces when she sees them to tell them the good news.
Everyone else is too busy discussing what the carnival will look like that they miss the way Jungeun is looking at Heejin. The tiniest, softest smile resting on her lips. Her heart is so incredibly full of adoration for Heejin. The way she stepped in without hesitation to protect their family secret. How she so readily offered up the money to fund a project that is at the very core of Jungeun’s past. Jungeun leans over and kisses Heejin firmly on the cheek, murmuring a gentle thanks against her ear.
When Yerin leaves, she is bursting with new ideas and excitement for the carnival. It’s so close now, it’s reachable.
Heejin and Jungeun are laying under the stars in the field next to the garden. Their families have long since gone to sleep. It’s just them and the stars shining in the sky above them.
They’ve been talking idly about the past couple days. Recounting all the stories and events as if they didn’t call each other every night to talk. Jungeun had been surprised when Heejin called her the first night. She had grown used to Hyunjin being the person Heejin talked to at night, she didn’t think Heejin would change that. But as each night passed with another call from Heejin, Jungeun grew to anticipate them. She doesn’t dwell on the question of why Heejin and Hyunjin stopped talking. Maybe it has something to do with Hyunjin’s recent engagement to Jinsol.
Jungeun’s stomach churns at that thought.
She pushes the thought aside, letting herself revel in the fact that at least Heejin had started to choose her.
As much as she loved those calls and being able to say goodnight, Jungeun missed being with Heejin. And Heejin missed it, too.
“I can’t say I’ve ever stargazed much,” Jungeun says, pulling up tufts of grass. “Normally Jinsol and I would look at clouds to find shapes.”
She misses those days. When they were kids and didn’t have these obligations or restrictions. Where Jinsol would lay on the grass next to her and watch the clouds float by and disappear.
“I love the stars,” Heejin whispers. “They’re always there even when you can’t see them.”
Heejin turns her head resting her cheek on her shoulder. In the dark, barely illuminated by the lamp nearby, Heejin can make out the side of Jungeun’s face. They’re laying close together, their fingers brushing every time Jungeun grasps another clump of grass. Jungeun’s gaze is fixated on the stars above them. There’s a tenderness to her expression right now. It’s open, soft, ready to take in all that the world has to offer.
Her stomach flips when their fingers brush again. This time she flexes her fingers and grasps onto Jungeun’s, interlocking them together.
Jungeun doesn’t protest.
“I’ve never thought about it like that.” Jungeun grips Heejin’s hand tighter. “I’ve never had that consistently in my life. I’m always afraid people are going to leave me, you know? All my life people have left me behind.”
Her biological parents come to mind first. That rainy day and the car speeding away from the curb still haunt her some nights. The day Bada had been adopted and Jungeun hasn’t heard from her since. All the other friends she made at the children’s home left her and never looked back. They all float away.
“So you left Jinsol first,” Heejin deduces.
“Yeah, she would have left me eventually, too.” Jungeun turns her head to look at Heejin only to find her already staring back. “You said it to me when you proposed; you won’t ever leave me. And this ring—“ Jungeun holds it up to the moonlight—“it makes that true, but you’ve also shown me that you won’t leave. Again and again you’ve shown me you’ll stay by my side, you’ll protect me and stand up for me. I believe that you won’t leave me.”
Heejin smiles gently at Jungeun. One that Jungeun reciprocates slowly.
“I’m not going anywhere, you’re stuck with me.”
Jungeun laughs, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“But what about Jinsol?” Heejin asks, unable to resist the burning curiosity. Jinsol didn’t leave Jungeun. And as far as Heejin knows, Jinsol would never have left Jungeun. They had been best friend’s most of their lives, yet Jungeun feels more secure with Heejin. Not that she’s complaining. There’s a comfort Heejin gets from knowing that Jungeun trusts her.
“Jinsol has been there my whole life it feels like. She knows me so well. She makes me laugh when I’m with her and I can have fun with her. She was the first person I met my own age when I was adopted. I had no idea how to be nobility or how to survive in this life. And Jinsol was there for me when she could be, the best she could be. It wasn’t always enough. I never felt like I actually belonged here or with her. She did her best, but—” Jungie looks back up to the stars—"But she’s not the stars. She’s the clouds, you know. There are good days where the clouds are there and big and fluffy and white. Those days are perfect and sunny and warm. And there are bad days where it’s stormy, and they’re grey and rain is pouring down on us. But then there’s plenty of days where they’re not there at all. No matter how hard you try to find them, they’re not always there.”
They fall quiet. Jungeun lost in the feelings of the past and revelations of the present. She has loved Jinsol as long as she can remember. It’s so natural for her to love Jinsol. It’s like breathing to her, but maybe that’s all it is. Maybe her love for Jinsol is simply automatic with no real substance behind it. Maybe her love for Jinsol isn’t what it used to be.
“I do love her,” Jungeun whispers into the night. “But it’s not the same kind of love I think it was. Not anymore. I think I miss being her best friend more than anything.”
Heejin isn't sure what it is about that confession that makes her heart stutter in her chest. All she knows is she’s happy to be lying next to Jungeun and supporting her. Just like Jungeun has done for her countless times.
Jungeun feels Heejin squeeze her hand in silent solidarity. And any hurt Jungeun feels, any pain that has been lingering, isn’t difficult to bear anymore.
Heejin has been there for her. Even when she can’t see her, even when they’re hundreds of miles away. She is constant. She doesn’t float away or disappear. She’s steady and bright. Heejin is always there.
Laying under the night sky, with their hands clasped tightly together, Jungeun wonders if Jinsol is the clouds, then maybe Heejin is the stars.
Notes:
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Chapter 13: Ready or Not
Notes:
This chapter is one of the longest chapters I've written for this fic thus far. There's a lot that happens, and most of the chapters that follow this one will be similar in length. So, I'm gonna ACTUALLY move to a biweekly (maybe more depending on school) schedule.
Thank you all for all the love and support, and enjoy this soft, but also kind of messy chapter.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter Thirteen: Ready or Not
Hyejoo is rushing through the palace. It’s two days before the banquet and dignitaries from across the world are appearing in Fiore this afternoon. Hyejoo doesn’t have the time to be trying to find Hyunjin right now. She’s supposed to be getting ready for the briefing with the other guards, but Irene gave her a pass on the meeting for now. And that’s only because Hyejoo begged her with the biggest puppy dog eyes she could muster. She needs to find Hyunjin, it’s more important than anything else.
Yerim is no help right now, she’s been working on last minute banquet details with Haseul and the other staff. No guards she has run into or staff members have been able to tell Hyejoo where the Princess or even the Queen are currently.
She’s starting to lose her mind as she races through the palace halls. In her hands is the folded and crinkled page from Chaewon’s sketchbook. Her mom had almost run it through the wash since it was still tucked into the pants she had worn last week. Hyejoo had been so swept up in her job and getting to know Jinsol more that she completely forgot about the designs.
Hyejoo wants to show Chaewon that she can have her dream come true. Currently that is all dependent on her finding Hyunjin.
“How big is this fucking palace?” Hyejoo huffs as she dashes up the stairs. She’d looped through all the usual spots Hyunjin hides in. The garden, the secret stairwell, the hidden room. Hell, she’s even checked Jinsol’s room since her friend has been hanging out there more often than her own room. And each time Hyejoo comes up empty handed and more desperate. This could have been easy if Hyunjin had answered her phone the numerous times she called, but no. Wherever she is, she can’t or won’t answer.
She rounds the corner of the second floor and skitters to a stop outside the Queen’s office. Knocking on the door, she doesn’t wait for an answer to enter.
Inside the office, Hyejoo sees Vivi and Hyunjin sitting at the large desk facing each other. Both women have the folders in their hands, frowns adorning their faces. They’re talking rapidly in hushed whispers and gesturing to pages while shaking their heads.
Vivi spots Hyejoo in the doorway first.
“Hyejoo, shouldn’t you be with Irene?”
“Yes, but, uh, I actually need to talk to Hyunjin real quick,” Hyejoo pleads with her eyes.
Hyunjin looks between the two of them. She can see the desperation on Hyejoo’s face and pushes back her chair.
“Mom, can I take a break?”
“Go,” Vivi shoos her daughter off. “But I want to hear some ideas when you come back.”
“Thank you!” Hyunjin kisses her mom’s cheek and yanks Hyejoo out into the hallway. “Tell me we’re going to do something fun. I’ve been stuck in that meeting with my mom for three hours.”
“I don’t know if it’s fun, but I need your help with this.”
The pair walk down the hallway toward what they refer to as the secret staircase. It’s really not much of a secret as it is a pointless staircase. No one really uses it anymore, but it lets out right by the back of the palace near the other staff's living quarters. Yerim calls it the cheaters staircase because it’s right next to the Queen’s suite so mistresses can get away unseen.
Hyejoo’s pretty sure she’s seen her mom sneaking down the staircase late at night on more than one occasion.
On the landing, Hyejoo stops Hyunjin from moving further and digs into her pocket. She pushes the pages toward Hyunjin and briefly explains what happened with Chaewon the previous week.
“Her mom won’t let her design anything. Chaewon looked just...she was so sad, Hyun. All she wants is to be a designer and I know you can make that happen for her. So, what do you think of the design?” Hyejoo shoves her hands into her pockets, rocking on her feet.
“Damn, these are—wow. Much more my style than anything I’ve been wearing,” Hyunjin says stare at the page in her hand. The dress on the page is colored a pale yellow like the moonlight. A simple ball gown skirt, but the top is a fitted bodice, but none of that catches her eyes as much as the detail of the bodice. Flowers and vines climb up the bodice, overlaying each other like a garden growing and blooming. It’s not bland and typical like every other dress she has worn to a ball. It stands out. “Chorong is wrong for not letting her daughter create her designs.”
“Right!” Hyejoo starts walking down the stairs. “Chaewon is insanely talented, and she deserves that chance.”
“She is. I thought you were only saying all of that because you have a big crush on her, but I’m speechless,” Hyunjin says. Hyejoo reaches the bottom of the steps. “Where are we going, though?”
“To talk to Chorong,” Hyejoo looks over her shoulder. “Are you coming?”
It doesn’t take them long to knock on the door of Chorong and Chaewon’s suite door. There’s a muffled yell from within the suite for them to come right in. Hyunjin and Hyejoo find Chorong in her office workspace bustling around the dress form in the middle of the room. She has a pincushion attached to her wrist and a tape measure hanging around her neck. When she sees Hyunjin walk through the doorway, she finishes what she’s doing and curtseys.
“Your Highness, hello! I didn’t expect you today,” Chorong says as Hyunjin approaches her. “Is there something I can do for you?”
“Yes, actually,” Hyunjin says with the dress design sketches in hand.
Hyejoo hangs back by the door to the office. Behind her, she hears two voices enter the suite laughing, the door shutting heavily behind them. She peers over her shoulder and sees twin blonde heads rounding the corner.
Chaewon spots Hyejoo and her smile widens. Hyejoo blushes and looks back at Hyunjin who’s talking to Chorong. The two blonde women take a spot next to Hyejoo in the doorway to listen.
“I really love these designs.” Hyunjin hands the pages over to Chorong. “They’re modern and regal, and they’re designed to suit my taste.”
Chorong’s lips twist downward looking at the pages. “I didn’t design these.”
“I know,” Hyunjin turns and gestures to Chaewon, “your daughter did.”
Chorong’s eyes drift toward her daughter who is red in the face and avoiding her gaze. Her shifty stance tells her mom that she didn’t want to talk about this. Meaning Princess Hyunjin has come on her own volition to speak up on behalf of Chaewon. Chorong swallows thickly and looks back to Hyunjin.
“She’s incredibly talented, don’t you think?” Hyunjin grins.
“Yes, I—Chae is very talented.”
“I’d like for you to give her more chances to create clothing for me. She seems to understand what I like the best.”
Once Chorong nods, Hyunjin walks over to Chaewon and places the sketches into the smaller woman’s hands.
“I’d love to wear this gown for a future event, Chae. And, if possible—” Hyunjin glances up at Jinsol, smile widening— “an outfit for Jinsol, as well.”
“Yes, yes, of course.” Chaewon nods rapidly still trying to catch up on what is even happening. She had come back to the suite with Jinsol to hang out. The pair have been getting close since Jinsol moved into the palace. She’s the older sister Chaewon has always wanted and it’s a nice change of pace than having to keep up with Yeojin’s pranks. Not that Yeojin has been around much either, constantly trying to learn more recipes.
This scene isn’t one she expected to come across when she walked into her suite. But her mom is looking at her sadly and Hyunjin is grinning. Chaewon’s eyes drift over them both to Hyejoo, whose smile is small, turning up only at one corner of her mouth.
“If you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to a meeting with my mom.” Hyunjin turns to Jinsol and leans up, kissing her cheek. “I’ll see you later?”
Jinsol nods, eyes sparkling.
A moment later, Hyunjin and Hyejoo leave the suite.
“I appreciate you doing that,” Hyejoo says once they're in the hallway.
“She deserves a shot, you were right. Plus, I think it’ll help you get the girl,” Hyunjin smirks.
“Wha—Hyunjin!”
Hyunjin laughs as Hyejoo tries to push her. “Your crush on her is so obvious, Hye. Don’t worry! I think this got you some major points in her eyes.”
“Yeah, sure, what makes you say that?” Hyejoo rolls her eyes, but Hyunjin points behind her.
“That. See you later, go get’em wolfie!” Hyunjin dodges the fist that comes her way as she dashes down the hallway.
“Kim-Wong Hyunjin, I swear I’m going to—!”
“Hey,” Chaewon’s soft voice calls to her. Anger dissipates immediately.
Hyejoo spins around just in time to catch the small body flying at her. Her arms securely wrap around Chaewon’s waist. Hyejoo stumbles back a little from the force, but steadies herself. She hopes that Chaewon can’t feel how rapidly her heart is beating or the heat radiating off her face.
“Thank you,” Chaewon whispers. “You have no idea how much that meant to me.”
“I—yeah, you deserve it,” Hyejoo mumbles.
Chaewon kisses Hyejoo’s cheek quickly before jogging back to Jinsol who’s waiting by the door with a smirk. The two women walk back into the suite leaving Hyejoo standing in the hallway with her hand on her cheek and a goofy smile.
Down on the first floor, Yerim enters the kitchen in search of Chungha. Haseul left her with the task to finalize the menu for the banquet in two days. When she looks around the kitchen, Chungha is nowhere to be seen. Instead, her daughter stands at the small in the back corner of the kitchen.
Yeojin is surrounded by animal printed baggies and purple ribbon that looks familiar to Yerim. She isn’t able to get a close enough look before Yeojin notices her presence. She brushes all the stuff on the table into a basket and tucks it under the table, pink tinging her cheeks.
“Working on a new prank?” Yerim asks, walking over to her.
“No—nope, just working on a project for someone.” Yeojin tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Yerim isn’t sure she believes the younger woman, but before she can ask, Yeojin grins. “So, what brings you to my kitchen?”
Yerim raises an eyebrow, a corner of her lip turning up. “Looking for your mom. I need to talk to her about the menu for the banquet.”
She holds up the clipboard with the anticipated numbers and courses.
“She’s stepped out to run an errand,” Yeojin says.
“Oh, well, I’ll come back later.” Yerim starts to leave, but Yeojin calls her name to stop her.
“I can help. I’m basically second in command anyway.” She stands up a little taller.
“You’re not even an employee.”
“Yet.” Yeojin grins again, eyes shining.
Yerim knows Haseul would prefer her to talk to Chungha about this. But she can feel her resolve falling the longer she looks at the sweet smile that Yeojin is shooting at her. Who can ignore that?
“Come on, I’ve practically grown up in this kitchen. I know it like the back of my hand. I can help.” Yeojin looks up at Yerim with a hopeful gaze. She’s been undermined often because she isn’t actually an employee. She makes baked goods for the whole palace and even larger events, but she does it because she loves it. And because it helps her mom. But Yeojin wants to prove herself, and make a good impression on Yerim, too. An impression that doesn’t involve pranks and maybe can make it back to the future Queen.
Yerim glances at the basket under the table. Something about the ribbon and the little goodie bags are familiar, like she’s seen a similar set up before. But Yeojin steps into her line of sight with wide eyes and a pout.
“Please let me help you,” Yeojin says.
“If you’re sure.”
“I am.”
Yerim is half suspicious of the offer but there’s something inviting in the way Yeojin is looking at her. Something hidden in her smile that reaches her eyes that lures Yerim in. So, she takes a seat at the table and sets the clipboard down.
They spend the next hour going over the menu. Making sure that the kitchen is stocked and the food will be able to start prepping today. Yerim has never had a meeting with someone go by so quickly. Meetings are not usually filled with laughter or lighthearted banter.
When they finally finish, Yerim asks Yeojin if she plans on making anything today.
“Queen Vivi has been asking for more cupcakes. Those are her favorites,” Yeojin says. She stands from the table and moves to the island, pulling out the ingredient as she moves around. She puts an apron on and ties it on before smiling over at Yerim.
“Can you teach me?” Yerim matches the smile. A part of her doesn’t want her time with Yeojin to end. It’s different from when they’re pranking each other. Maybe a little odd that they’re actually close to each other, but it’s nice. Nice in a new way.
“Um,” Yeojin hesitates. “Alright, but if they taste gross I’m telling the Queen it was your fault.”
Yerim shrugs. “Don’t think she'd be surprised.”
Yeojin laughs, shaking her head and starts to give Yerim directions. She bounces around the kitchen, stirring the batter and helping Yerim where she needs to. Somewhere along the way, Yerim tosses a pinch of flour at Yeojin when she isn’t looking. And that leads to an all out food fight of flour and sugar being hurled across the once pristine kitchen.
Their laughter fills the room as they wait for the oven to finish preheating. Clouds of flour fly through the air sticking on every surface. Faces covered, hair a mess, smiles adorning both their faces.
“What is going on here?” Chungha’s voice breaks through the laughter. Yerim and Yeojin pop up from their hiding spots on opposite sides of the island.
“Mom, hi, I was—we were just making cupcakes for Queen Vivi.” Yeojin gestures to the cupcake tins that are ready and waiting to be placed in the oven. Just as she says it, the ding sounds from the oven.
“It looks like you’re making a mess of my kitchen,” Chungha shakes her head and places her shopping bags down on the small table across the room. The only spot that is not covered in flour or sugar. “Yeo, clean this up. I have to make lunch soon.”
“Sorry, Ma’am,” Yerim says, bowing her head. Her phone starts ringing on the table and she rushes over to answer the call while Yeojin puts the cupcakes into the oven. Haseul needs her to come to the grand dining room as soon as she can. Her heart sinks a little at having to go back to her responsibilities. And having to go change quickly before meeting with Haseul. “Chungha, the finalized menu is on the clipboard next to the pantry. If you have any other questions please call me.”
“You have to leave?” Yeojin asks, brushing her hands against her apron.
Yerim nods and brushes the flour off Yeojin’s cheek with a smile. She looks away to put her own apron away, and misses the blush that settles on Yeojin’s cheeks.
“This was fun though, you should teach me more about baking. I’d love to try some new things,” Yerim says. She starts toward the door, throwing a smile over her shoulder. “You should make those cupcakes look like succulents! Saw it on Pinterest.”
Yeojin watches her go with a fond smile. She doesn’t realize she’s staring at the empty doorway until her mom appears beside her.
“I saw that.”
“You saw nothing, Mom,” Yeojin grumbles.
“Mhm, sure. And when she sees the cupcakes that look like succulents in those baskets you leave her?” Chungha leans her back against the counter, trying to catch her daughter’s eyes.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yeojin pushes away from the counter and starts cleaning up the mess they made. Chungha stays in place, watching Yeojin clean sluggishly. Her mind clearly preoccupied.
“She’s going to figure it out, honey.”
“Yeah, I know…” Yeojin sighs. Her mom drops a kiss on her head as she goes to change before cooking lunch. Yeojin’s left in the middle of the messy kitchen wondering how she’s going to make this next basket for Yerim without completely giving herself away. She almost did today, but it seems like Yerim is still none the wiser. It’s not that she doesn’t want Yerim to know she’s been leaving the baskets, she’s just afraid to find out if Yerim even remotely feels the same.
Regardless, she pulls up Pinterest on her phone and searches for inspiration to decorate the cupcakes like succulents.
Hyunjin is in her suite sitting on the couch, her guitar resting on her lap. She’s strumming idly, playing a song Haseul taught her when she was younger. Whenever she’s restless she plays the guitar, tries to learn new songs, but she always comes back to the simple song Haseul taught her. There’s something about it that Hyunjin finds calming.
A lot of time has passed since she brought her guitar out. Her and Jinsol had been laying in her bed watching a movie when the blonde fell asleep. Hyunjin didn’t have the heart to wake her up and ended up on the couch alone strumming quietly.
Jinsol finally stumbles out of the bedroom, hair a mess, eyes bleary. She flops onto the couch next to Hyunjin with a yawn.
“You have a good nap?” She asks Jinsol. A smile appears when she looks at the cute sleepy face Jinsol has on.
“I didn’t even realize I fell asleep.” Jinsol chuckles. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
Hyunjin sets the guitar down, leaning it against the arm of the couch. Sliding across the couch, Hyunjin pinches Jinsol’s cheek.
“You looked so cute drooling all over my pillow.” Jinsol swats her hand away as Hyunjin laughs. “You just looked happy, I wanted to let you get some rest. My playing didn’t wake you, did it?”
“No, my sister called. She’s excited to see me tomorrow.” Jinsol tangles her hand with Hyunjin’s.
“Which sister?” Hyunjin looks at their interlocked hands. She flexes her fingers, tapping them against the back of Jinsol’s hand, enjoying the feeling of being closer to her.
“Yerin. She has news about the project she’s been working on.” Jinsol scrunches her face when Hyunjin runs her thumb on her palm. It tickles Jinsol and she pulls her hand back. Hyunjin reaches back out to grab it. “I think she’s more excited to tell me about that than to actually see me.”
Hyunjin laughs, “Yeah, she’s not missing much with you.”
Jinsol pushes Hyunjin away with her other hand and frowns.
“You’re so mean.”
“And you’re so soft.”
“I’m gonna go back into the room and come out. The nice Hyunjin better be here when I get back.” Jinsol jokingly tries to pull away, but Hyunjin takes her hand and holds her in place. Jinsol whines, “let go.”
“Nope,” Hyunjin smiles softly and pokes the ring on Jinsol’s hand. “You’re stuck with me for the rest of your life.”
“Dramatic and mean,” Jinsol rolls her eyes, but leans into Hyunjin’s side.
They stay like that for a while, casual conversation flowing between them. But as the night drags on, the state banquet looms over their heads. Hyunjin and Jinsol have both been through this banquet every year, though previous years are not like this one. This year Jinsol doesn’t have Jungeun to rely on. This year Hyunjin is so much closer to the throne. There is more pressure tomorrow night to show their united front, their ability to interact as a couple. The banquet will be their first test, so to speak, of how well they will rule once married.
“Are you ready to meet all the dignitaries as my future wife?” Hyunjin asks. They’re not cuddled together anymore. Jinsol has her back pressed against the arm of the couch, her legs thrown over Hyunjin’s lap.
“I was born ready,” Jinsol grins. “We’re a power couple.”
Hyunjin hums. “Jungeun will be here.”
“Oh, right…” Jinsol’s smile falls. Her stomach sinks and at the same time Hyunjin comes to a realization herself.
“And Heejin, too.” Hyunjin is worried about seeing the other Princess tomorrow night. She cut things off so abruptly. Didn’t even give Heejin a chance for them to just be friends, but Hyunjin doesn’t want to be just friends. She doesn’t think so anyway. All their late night conversations and the night they spent together in the garden made her feel like she had been falling so rapidly. And now, after ending their communication, Hyunjin isn’t too sure what she’s feeling anymore.
Jinsol, on the other hand, doesn’t want to see Jungeun. They obviously haven’t talked since the ball, since Jungeun decided to tell her those three stupid words. A while ago, Jinsol would have been ecstatic to hear that confession. But that was before Jungeun dropped out of her life without a word. Before Jungeun decided her new role as Heejin’s fiancée was more important to her than their friendship. Honestly, Jinsol doesn’t want to see Jungeun because she’s still angry about it all. And she’s scared that no matter how Jungeun may try to explain her actions, it might all just fall apart in the end anyway.
Yeah, maybe she’s upset with Jungeun, but at least leaving their falling out as a mystery lets the rest of their history remain happy. Jinsol doesn’t want it all to be ruined.
“I know it’s not my place, but what happened between you and Jungeun?” Hyunjin glances at Jinsol. She’s not blind, she has noticed how tense Jinsol gets whenever Jungeun is mentioned.
“Poor timing,” Jinsol sighs. Her head falls back and she stares up at the ceiling. Jinsol’s heart clenches, but Hyunjin’s hand wrapping around hers lessens the pain. Just a little. “She got engaged and left me behind.”
Hyunjin can read between the lines. The sting she feels at the implication is almost too much to bear. She’s not blind or stupid either. All those events spent with Jinsol with Jungeun always right beside them. Hyunjin knows.
“Will you be okay seeing her?”
“No, but I’m looking forward to seeing my sisters.” Jinsol lifts her head and pokes Hyunjin’s hand. “And I’ll have you.”
“You’ll always have me, Sol.”
Jinsol smiles gratefully and gestures to the guitar. “Could you play for me?”
“Anything in particular?” Hyunjin picks up the guitar as Jinsol sits up, crossing her legs.
“Whatever you were playing earlier, it was relaxing.” Jinsol watches as Hyunjin begins to strum the same tune. The one Haseul had taught her all those years ago.
“Haseul showed me this song,” Hyunjin says while she plays. “She honestly taught me how to play in general, but I just remember the day she taught me this. I was like, eight, I think, and missing my dad. She picked up her guitar and just started playing this tune. I felt so calm after and begged her to play it for me every day.”
“I might make you play it for me every day now,” Jinsol says, sharing a smile with Hyunjin. They’re quiet after that, letting the song fill the air, and settling around them. Jinsol is mesmerized by the way Hyunjin plays, watching her fingers dance along the strings
“Who else will be at the banquet?” Jinsol asks once Hyunjin finishes the song.
“Our families, obviously,” Hyunjin says, playing random pieces of songs as she talks. “Some parliament members and high ranking officials from our allying countries. The Moon family from Lantana will be there, we have a long standing alliance with them. I believe we have a new alliance with Hyssop, so they’ll be attending.”
“Taecyeon?” Jinsol’s voice shakes at the idea of him and her sister being in the same room.
“Mhm, Queen Kyungri and King Taecyeon will be there. Oh, and their daughter, Princess Yuju. She turns nine in the fall, she’s very cute.” Hyunjin can see how tense Jinsol is now. Back stick straight, eyes shifty. “Why, do you not get along with him? He was a Lord in Valo before he got married.”
“I—No, no, we got along fine,” Jinsol stutters. “I should go to my room.”
She scrambles off the couch and Hyunjin reaches for her.
“Hey, what’s—Jinsol, stop, what’s wrong?” Hyunjin stands and follows after her.
“Nothing! Nothing’s wrong, I just...I’m tired, Hyunjin. Please let me go,” Jinsol pleads. She’s not sure what’s come over her. But the idea of seeing Taecyeon after all these years is too much to handle. He got engaged to Kyungri and disappeared out of their lives, out of Jessica’s. Jinsol and her sisters watched how heart broken Jessica had been for years and now they’ll all be in the same place. And any pain Jessica feels tomorrow night Jinsol will know it’ll be because of her.
“Goodnight,” Jinsol steps out of the door leaving Hyunjin standing in her room in a shocked silence.
It’s later that Hyunjin gets a call. She’s been laying on the couch wondering what actually happened with Jinsol earlier, but she has yet to figure it out. Part of her hopes it’s Jinsol calling her, but when she sees the face on the screen, her heart sinks for a completely different reason.
“Heejin,” she sighs, “you shouldn’t be calling me.”
“Come out with me,” Heejin says.
Hyunjin’s brow furrows, “What? It’s past midnight and you’re in another country.”
“I’m outside your balcony. Or I hope it’s yours, that’d be awkward.”
“What!” Hyunjin bolts off the couch and throws her balcony doors open. There on the lawn, barely illuminated by the floodlights on the palace, is Heejin. She grins shyly up at her. “What the fuck, Heejin. How’d you get this far onto the palace grounds?”
“I’m small and sneaky.”
“Seriously, why are you here? We shouldn’t even be talking. You and I know it isn’t right…”
“We came a bit early for the Banquet, but that’s not the point. For one night, please forget duty, Hyunjin,” Heejin pleads through the phone. “Come outside. Let me take you on that date I promised you and prove that I can dance.”
Hyunjin is torn. She wants to stay in, to stay true to her promise to Jinsol because the idea of hurting her in any way makes Hyunjin sick to her stomach. But Hyunjin also wants to be spontaneous, take a risk, say “Fuck it” to duty and follow her heart just this once.
“No fires or pointy objects?”
“I promise. One night. Just us.”
Hyunjin’s face scrunches up as she jumps on the balls of her feet trying to think. She could go and have one night to really see where this could go. Her mom told her to try with Jinsol and she has been. But she also said that she wants Hyunjin to be happy and being with Heejin has made her happy this far. There really isn’t anything for her to lose. As long as she doesn’t get caught.
“I’ll be down in a second,” Hyunjin says finally and hangs up the phone. She goes back into her room grabbing a sweatshirt before racing back to the balcony. Wasting no time, she swings a leg over the railing and grabs onto the ivy on the walls of the palace. It’s a path she, Hyejoo, and Yerim have used often. None of them have fallen from it before, but there’s always a first, so Hyunjin moves carefully down the wall.
What she doesn’t see is Jinsol walking into her suite looking for her. Jinsol had come back to apologize for her behavior earlier. She couldn’t sleep, she felt too guilty about how she had treated Hyunjin and wanted to talk to her about why she left like that. But when she enters the suite after no response—something she does often—she finds the suite empty and the balcony doors open. Jinsol walks to the balcony worried that something happened to Hyunjin, only to see her tumble onto the grass next to a laughing Heejin.
Jinsol feels sick watching the pair race away from the palace. Heejin got Jungeun and now she’s taking Hyunjin, too.
They’re in a field not far from the palace. Moonlight is reflecting off the river casting and soft glow on Heejin and Hyunjin. Heejin had put on slow songs once they got to the riverside earlier. And Hyunjin had been pleased to find out that Heejin could actually dance. But even as they had been dancing in each other’s arms, their minds were drifting to the women they left behind in their respective rooms. They’re sitting on the grass now, face to face, playing a hand game that Yerim taught Hyunjin when they were kids.
Hyunjin beats Heejin each time.
Throughout the time they’ve been sitting by the riverbank, their conversations have been easy going; lighthearted. They dance around the topics of the banquet and their impending weddings. But Heejin knows she can’t ignore it forever, that no matter how nice it feels to be here with Hyunjin in this moment, it won’t last forever.
Her and Hyunjin can’t be together. Maybe in another life, but not this one.
Their hands slide against each other as they continue their game.
“Do you remember the Jung’s Spring Solstice Ball?” Heejin asks, eyes on their fast moving hands.
“The one a few months ago?”
“No, when we were fourteen.”
Hyunjin shakes her head and laughs when Heejin messes up the count. This time they don’t start up a new game. The air around them has shifted. Hyunjin looks at Heejin, finally wondering where she’s taking this conversation.
“I came up to you to talk, catch up, but you didn’t remember me.” Heejin still remembers that confusion watching Hyunjin scamper away from her so abruptly. She imagines what their relationship would be like now had Hyunjin not run away from her then. Though, Heejin thinks that her friendship with Jungeun would never have existed if it weren’t for that.
“Oh…” Hyunjin blushes and bites her lip, looking away. Her eyes focus on the reflection of the moon shimmering on the water. Waves ripple out as the river runs.
“Can I ask why? Did you not like me? Or did you hear rumors or—”
“Our dads were best friends.” Hyunjin sighs and turns back to Heejin with a sad smile. “I—I buried a lot of things when my dad died. It hurt too much to remember. I was so young, I barely remembered much anyway, but I remembered you. You were small and shy and your dad was always so kind. I can see why our dad were friends, I saw it then, too. My mom always said they were ‘thick as thieves.’”
“I remember that, my mom said the same thing. But why’d you ignore me?” Heejin holds Hyunjin’s gaze carefully.
“Because you reminded me of my dad, that he died. He was gone and I was never going to get him back. And then there you were, with your dad who was still alive. Your dad who could play with you and teach you things and—and hug you.” Hyunjin tears up as she continues to speak, voice cracking as she goes on. “I looked at you that night and it just hit me all over again because the last time I saw you and really spoke to you, my dad was alive. It opened up a wound I never properly closed. So I ran.”
“Do you want to run now?” Heejin dares to ask, holding her breath.
“No. Having you in my life feels like something our dads would like,” Hyunjin says earnestly. She wipes her tears away, chest still heavy. “I feel more connected to my dad now.”
“Me too,” Heejin admits. She scoots closer to Hyunjin and lays her head on her shoulder. They don’t say anything more, enjoying the silent night around them and the comfort they pull from each other.
On Hyunjin’s walk back to the palace, she thinks about her dad more. Him and Seokjin were best friends when they were alive, and Hyunjin can see so much of Seokjin in Heejin. She’s heard her whole life that she’s just like Kai. Now for the first time she wonders if the connection she feels to Heejin is the kind of connection she had fantasized about finding.
Sneaking back into the palace is slightly more difficult than sneaking out. Hyunjin scrambles pathetically up the vines by her balcony, feet slipping and fingers scraping. But eventually she swings her leg back over the railing over the balcony and lands with a soft thump.
When she pushes open the doors into her suite, she sees blonde hair cascading over the front of the couch. Hyunjin smiles fondly at Jinsol who’s tucked under a throw blanket, drooling on a decorative pillow.
She crouches beside her, shaking her shoulder to wake her up.
Bleary eyes look back at her, slowly blinking. It’s too cute for Hyunjin to deal with, her smile widening even more.
“Hey, what are you doing here?”
“Came to talk to you and say sorry,” she yawns, rubbing her eyes with her fists. “Saw you sneak out. I was worried and wanted to stay up to wait for you.”
Hyunjin reaches out and gently tucks Jinsol’s hair behind her ear. Her hand pauses, cupping Jinsol’s face. There’s a new kind of longing in her chest, one that Hyunjin isn’t too sure what it means. But, it's in this moment that she realizes what she has to do.
“Come on, let’s go to bed.”
Jinsol lets herself be led to Hyunjin’s bedroom. She crawls under the covers quickly wanting to be cozy again. And when Hyunjin joins her, she moves just a little bit closer, their legs brushing against each other. It doesn’t take long for either woman to fall asleep.
The next morning Hyunjin calls Heejin from the secret stairwell. She’s thought about doing this all night and morning. After finding Jinsol asleep in her room, and hearing that she had seen her and Heejin sneak out, guilt has been eating away at her. Honestly, it probably should have been eating away at her sooner than now. But that had been the final straw for her. Her soon-to-be wife fell asleep waiting for her to get back from a secret late night rendezvous with a woman she’s not engaged to.
If Hyunjin feels like crap about it now, she can only imagine how badly Jinsol might be hurting, too.
“We can’t keep doing this,” Hyunjin says once Heejin picks up. “These secret dates and late night calls, we can’t.”
“This conversation sounds familiar,” Heejin sighs. “We’re not doing anything wrong.”
“You and I both know that’s a lie.” Hyunjin sits on a step, leaning against the railing.
“I feel normal when I’m with you, like I’m more than a princess,” Heejin says.
“It’s not fair to us. I love spending time with you. But we need to do right by our country and ourselves,” Hyunjin forces herself to say. The same old motto she’s always said. Duty above heart, after all. But maybe she’s just been misunderstanding what her heart actually wants.
“Hyunjin…” Heejin pleads, her voice teary.
Hyunjin feels it too. Her own tears trailing down her cheeks as she chips away at both their hearts.
“Please, don’t, this is hard enough as it is. You’re the first person to understand me, but we can’t do this. Not to Jinsol. Not to Jungeun. They deserve better from us.”
“You’re right…” Heejin whispers through her own tears. It hurts for both of them. That steady comfort they felt with each other being ripped away. “Can we at least be friends this time? I don’t want to lose you.”
Hyunjin isn’t really sure if what she feels for Heejin is actually love. It’s at least not the love she wants or can have. There is no rapid free falling, no can’t get enough feelings. It had just been forbidden and against all odds. And even if it could have been love, Hyunjin can’t do that to her mom. She won’t do that to Jinsol.
“Yeah, we can be friends. Nothing more.” Another wave of pain overcomes Hyunjin. Tears burning behind her eyes. “I’ll see you tonight, Heejin.”
She hangs up the phone just as a sob rips through her. Hyunjin wraps her arms around her stomach and bends over as she cries. Sobs echo through the stairwell and she’s thankful that no one really uses it.
Even if the feelings she has for Heejin aren’t love, they are something. Something big and powerful and so incredibly painful to let go. Being with Heejin had been her one choice, the one choice she could make for herself and it crumbled.
Haseul had been about to go down the secret staircase to go find Irene when she heard the tail end of Hyunjin’s conversation with Heejin. The sobs echoed through the stairwell and Haseul’s heart broke at the sound. She finds Hyunjin curled up on the steps of the secret staircase, body shaking from her crying. Haseul rushes to her side.
“Oh, Hyunnie,” Haseul murmurs, hugging her tightly. “What’s going on?”
“I made a choice,” Hyunjin whimpers between sobs. “I made a choice and it hurts, but I know it was the right choice.”
Haseul doesn’t know what to say, so she just holds tightly to the girl she sees as a daughter, hoping that maybe she can give her some form of comfort.
Wiping her eyes and taking a deep breath, Hyunjin looks at Haseul.
“I found someone who gave me a chance at true love, but I think they were a missing piece to something else…” Hyunjin says thoughtfully. “You know, I miss Dad everyday. I shoved so many memories aside because it hurt too much to think about. Being with her...it made me feel so much closer to him. But I think I fucked it all up in the end.”
Hyunjin hurts in a new way. Like hitting the same spot a bruise already exists in. It’s sharp at first and fades to a dull throb. It’s still there. It still hurts.
“Maybe you could still fix it.”
Hyunjin shakes her head, “It’s probably best if I don’t. I’ll be okay. I made my choice today and that’s more power than I thought I had.” She stares at Haseul for a moment. “You have a choice, too.”
Haseul blinks rapidly, face scrunching up. “Me? Choice for what?”
“A choice to be with my mom.” Hyunjin says it so simply as if it is the easiest thing in the world. “She’s stubborn and prioritizes everyone over herself, but she loves you like you love her. Make your choice, you’ve waited long enough. You deserve a chance at happiness too, Mama Seul.”
Hyunjin leans over and hugs Haseul before going back up the stairwell. Haseul is stunned at the use of the old name. Her own tears prickle at her eyes.
It only takes another second before Haseul races off to find Vivi.
She barrels into Vivi’s office and shouts, “She called me Mama Seul!”
“No way!” Vivi jumps from her desk and hugs her.
“Yes! She was crying and she was saying all these sad things about love, but then called me Mama Seul and left!”
“Ah! This is great, I’m so happy for—” Vivi pulls back from the embrace confused. “Wait, why was she crying? Is she okay? Should I go—”
“I think she’ll be okay,” Haseul says before explaining what happened and what she overheard. A devious smile spreads across Vivi’s lips. “No. No, no, no, whatever you are thinking, absolutely not.”
“You haven’t even heard what I was going to say,” Vivi protests.
“I know you well enough to know whatever follows that smirk is never a good idea.”
Vivi waves Haseul off and walks back to her desk. She leans back in her chair, her smirk widening.
“I’m just gonna meddle a little bit,” Vivi closes one eye and brings her pointer finger and thumb close together. “It’ll be fine, Seulie.”
“That’s what people say right before it becomes the exact opposite of fine . ” Haseul groans.
Vivi hums contemplatively, but shrugs. “I’m still gonna meddle.”
Haseul rolls her eyes and beckons Vivi to get back up.
“Come on, Scooby Doo, we have a banquet to get ready for.” She holds her hand out for Vivi to hold and they head off toward their suite.
Jungeun enters the palace that night with Heejin on her arm. Nobles and royals are passing by them as they move toward the dining room. Her moms are walking with Sooyoung and Jiwoo ahead of them. They’ve been happily chatting with each other since they’ve arrived. Jungeun isn’t sure she could pull them away from each other at all.
She sees Somi up ahead as well wrapped in a conversation with Prince Yeonjun and Princess Dami from Lantana. The group of teenagers are laughing among the uptight nobility, sticking out more than Jungeun is. Yet, somehow, she’s still getting the most looks.
Nothing new to her. Except this time, Jungeun pays little to no mind to them. Instead, she focuses on the feeling of Heejin’s hand on her arm. It anchors her, keeps her out of her head. At least for the moment.
They’re both aware that they’ll have to see Jinsol and Hyunjin tonight. They do live in the palace after all. Jungeun is dreading seeing Jinsol, especially after her confession at the ball. That hadn’t been fair of her to say, but the longer she held it in, the more it clawed up her throat to break out. But even the tremble of nerves that run through her body doesn’t shake her up too badly. Not when Heejin slides her hand down her arm, locking their fingers together.
Heejin tightens her grip on Jungeun’s hand as they walk through the grand double doors into the dining room. A long table sits in the middle of the room. Dark chairs line the sides of the table, chandeliers illuminate the ornate room making the crystal glasses on the table sparkle. Candelabras are staggered on the white table cloth in between flower arrangements. Dignitaries and royals are scattered about the dining room; glasses of wine or champagne in their hands. Chatter rises and falls with the music drifting from the harpist in the corner.
More eyes turn their way as they enter.
Across the room, Heejin catches Hyunjin’s eye as she brings a drink over to Jinsol. They hadn’t talked in awhile when Heejin decided to show up outside her balcony. It was a spur of the moment idea and she just ran with it. Only for Hyunjin to call her this morning and break it off once again. Heejin understands, even if it hurts more seeing Hyunjin again.
Jungeun glances at Heejin and pulls her a little closer. She had come to Jungeun’s hotel room door red faced and puffy eyed this morning. All Jungeun knows is that Hyunjin is the reason Heejin had been upset, the reason she’s probably still upset.
“I’m right here with you,” Jungeun says as they make their way toward an unoccupied corner.
“And I’m with you,” Heejin leans into Jungeun’s side.
They see Hyunjin and Jinsol laughing across the room with a man and woman with pink pins on their outfits signaling Valo as their home country.
“I want to go home,” Jungeun laments. Heejin nods beside her and snags two glasses of wine from a passing tray.
Jungeun and Heejin know tonight won’t be a goodnight for either of them.
In a room off the hall, Vivi and Haseul stand together. Haseul is fixing Vivi’s tiara, wrapping a bit of red hair around the band. Outside the door, they can hear the voices of their guests. The clicking of glasses and the melodic sound of the harp. Vivi smiles sweetly at Haseul when her hand recedes and rests back at her side.
“Shouldn’t you be out there?” Vivi asks
“Yerim has it under control,” Haseul shrugs, though checks the time on her watch. Yerim has planned most of the evening. Haseul can hear the younger woman calling out orders to the staff and guards through her earpiece. “She runs a tight, but chipper ship.”
“Not going to work this event then, Haseul?”
“I think I’m going to enjoy the night for once,” Haseul takes a step back. She runs her hands down her suit, one hand sliding into her pocket. Her gaze is heated as she stares back at Vivi.
“Really now,” Vivi grins, “and how do you plan on doing that?”
“There’s this Queen I’d like to spend time with. I heard she’d be here tonight,” Haseul says, a lilt to her voice.
“Do I know her?”
“I believe you do.” Vivi tilts her head at Haseul, raising a brow. “Queen Moon Hyuna.”
Vivi’s flirtatious gaze breaks and she narrows her eyes. Pushing Haseul back, she barks out a laugh. Both women smile at each other.
“You’re so annoying,” Vivi feigns irritation.
“I know.” Haseul takes Vivi’s hand and pulls her closer.
“Not even a little bit funny,” Vivi whispers. Her eyes wander Haseul’s face, taking in the gentle smile and dark eyes.
“I know.”
Vivi looks Haseul directly in the eyes, her heart thundering against her chest. All these years, all this time that she’s wasted. She can’t believe Haseul has stayed by her side the whole time. Put up with the push and pull. When Kai was dying, she promised him that she wouldn’t hold back with Haseul anymore. Yet, here she is, eighteen years later, still holding herself back from the love she knows she can have.
“I love you,” Vivi says and there’s something different about it this time. She feels it when she says it. Haseul feels it when she hears it. It’s not like all those times before when they were drunk or sleepy or saying it in passing. It’s not like when they were younger and scared and so unsure of where life would take them. This time there is certainty, honesty, and the way Vivi is looking at Haseul right now makes her heart stutter and her body shake.
“I know.” Haseul stares back at Vivi with the same amount of love. She cups Vivi’s face, caressing her cheek with her thumb. Nothing else is said, there isn’t much need. Vivi didn’t say it for a response and Haseul isn’t going to say it back yet. It’s not like she doesn’t love her. They’ve been in a pseudo-relationship most of their lives, but Haseul doesn’t want to say it just to say it. She wants to say it when it’s right for her, and Vivi understands that.
Haseul steps back, sending a smile toward Vivi, and walks toward the door.
Vivi can easily reach out and pull her back. Wrap her arms around her shoulders and kiss her like she’s wanted to for who knows how long. For the first time, Vivi wants to let herself have something that isn’t related to the crown. For once, she wants to put her heart above her duty.
The door clicks shut behind Haseul, leaving Vivi alone again. Just her and the crown on her head.
It’s a little while later and Vivi is making rounds. She’s greeted many of the military officials and members of parliament from other countries already. They’re usually the first to bide for her time.
“I’m excited to see Princess Hyunjin at the next Parliamentary meeting,” Duchess Sana says to her. They’re standing beside the long table, glasses in their hands. Sana’s wife, Duchess Momo, stands with them, listening as the two women discuss the last meeting. The three of them have been catching up. They live a bit further out of Strelitzia, not often able to come to the capital outside the monthly meetings.
“We spoke with her and her fiancée earlier,” Momo smiles. “They were a delight, very poised, but you know your daughter, she’s a jokester.”
Vivi sighs, but smiles good naturedly. “You’ve both known her for so long, I’m sure she’s comfortable being a little more carefree with you.”
“It’s refreshing, honestly,” Sana laughs. “I remember when she was much younger, her and her friends would always trade places at meetings to see who would notice.”
“Speaking of children, how is Tzuyu? I’m sad to see she isn’t here tonight. She and Hyunjin were quite the duo,” Vivi says.
“She took a summer course, so she won’t be around much this season,” Momo says. Her hand intertwines with Sana’s. “We miss her, but she’ll be sure to be here for the wedding and coronation.”
“Of course,” Vivi smiles. Lady Yubin and Duke Wonpil approach the group. Sana and Momo know that their time with the Queen is over. “Well, please give her my best wishes.”
They curtsy and leave. Vivi continues this cycle for the next while, waiting for when it’ll finally be time to eat. At least then she gets a minor break.
Jessica and Krystal approach Vivi not much later. Yerin had disappeared a while ago after she had run into Princess Hyemi from Hyssop. The Princess is Queen Kyrungri’s little sister and the appearance of Hyemi means that somewhere in the palace is King Taecyeon. Jessica doesn’t want to think about it. They haven’t spoken since Taecyeon left for Hyssop. She’s been fortunate up until this point to not have to see him. With Vivi making an alliance with Hyssop, Jessica knows there will be more events where they’ll have to interact.
She can’t handle that. Not with everything going on in Valo. Not with the two hours of sleep she got last night worrying about seeing him. And she certainly knows she can’t handle it because Sunny, who has been her absolute rock lately, isn’t here with her.
Krystal notices how tense Jessica is, though it’s not really different than any other day lately. This time Krystal knows it has nothing to do with Valo and everything to do with the man that Jessica is looking around for—even if she’d deny that.
“Queen Jessica, Princess Krystal,” Vivi says, walking up to them. She smiles brightly,
“Your Majesty,” Krystal curtsy's and Jessica follows suit.
“Please, call me Vivi,” she says. “It’s so lovely to see you. I don’t think we’ve had a chance to come together as a soon-to-be family.”
“No, I don’t think we have,” Jessica smiles. “An informal dinner of sorts would be great.”
“You’re suggesting informal?” Krystal chuckles. “That’s a new one.”
Jessica glares at her sister which only makes her laugh harder. Vivi watches amusedly as the siblings interact.
On the other side of the room, Jessica spots Jinsol and Hyunjin speaking with two dignitaries from Valo. Duchess Yulhee and Duke Minhwan, a married couple in high ranking positions, stand with Jinsol and Hyunjin. They’re faces are serious as they speak, Hyunjin nodding every once in a while.
“I hope my sister hasn’t been too much trouble in the palace,” Jessica says, her eyes still on the newly engaged couple.
“Not at all,” Vivi waves her off, but follows her gaze. The three of them watch Jinsol and Hyunjin.
Jessica notices that Jinsol hasn’t taken her eyes off Hyunjin at all. Hyunjin continues to speak to the Duke and Duchess without realizing Jinsol is watching her with the softest smile. Jessica knows that look well. She’s seen it throughout Jinsol’s life, but it used to be directed at someone else. Jinsol once looked at Jungeun that way, as if she was the only person in the world.
When Jungeun left Jinsol behind without a word, Jessica’s worst fear for her baby sister came true. She never wanted another person to suffer the heartbreak she did when Taecyeon left, let alone Jinsol. But now, here Jinsol is, looking at Hyunjin so delicately and full of love, Jessica thinks maybe she’s the lucky one. Maybe Jinsol will get that second chance at love Jessica fears she’ll never have.
“They look really happy,” Krystal says as the pair laugh together, walking away from Yulhee and Minhwan. Their hands interlock as they are greeted by another dignitary.
“Really happy,” Jessica nods, “more than I expected.”
“They are. Jinsol compliments Hyunjin well, and vice versa. I’ve never seen my daughter this...content.”
Jessica and Krystal both hum in agreement. Eventually they let Vivi go back to her round and go to find Yerin. They want to catch a minute with their youngest sister before she gets swept back up by others now that her duties have grown exponentially.
Vivi catches Haseul’s gaze as the Jung sisters leave her. Haseul smirks and gestures Vivi to come join her. She’s standing across the dining room with Queen Hyuna. Vivi feigns annoyance and pouts, but still walks over to them, unable to stay away from Haseul.
Jinsol stands with Hyunjin in the corner of the dining room. They just spoke to Lord Jae from Valo who congratulated them on their engagement. Two women from Lantana—Jinsol thinks their names were Countess Dara and Duchess Jaekyung—had done the same a few minutes prior. Honestly, Jinsol and Hyunjin are exhausted. It’s only been an hour since the schmoozing has really begun and they’ve greeted more people than they can count or remember. They’re taking a minute to themselves off to the sides, arms linked together, watching others move around the dining room.
Her stomach growls, drawing Hyunjin’s attention.
“Just a little while longer,” Hyunjin smiles sympathetically. “We like to mingle a bit before eating so guests will leave right after dessert.”
“Clever. That doesn’t help me now though,” Jinsol frowns as her stomach rumbles again.
“Yerim usually carries granola bars for me,” Hyunjin says. She finds her near the doors to the service hall and pulls Jinsol with her. “We can probably sneak one from her real quick.”
“Split it?” Jinsol smiles when Hyunjin nods and the pair walks off toward Yerim. She finds their friendship incredibly sweet. Hyunjin does her best to care for her friends and have fun with them, but her friends also take care of her, too.
Over the past couple weeks, Jinsol has noticed how much they all do for each other. One distressed text and Hyejoo and Yerim appear at her suite with snacks and movies. A single look and they all know what each other is thinking. During any event, if Hyunjin hears or sees anyone disrespecting her friends and their hard work, she doesn’t hold back from giving them a piece of her mind—politely, of course.
Not only that, but Yerim and Hyejoo have welcomed Jinsol in with open arms. They explain inside jokes and include her in all their pranks. Neither of them treat her like a Princess, but rather another regular person to enter the palace.
When they reach Yerim they find her in an absolute frenzy.
“Dinner was supposed to start fifteen minutes ago but one of the cooks didn’t make enough of the appetizers. And in the chaos to make more, dropped some of the sides on the floor. And it’s all falling apart and Haseul is going to have my head,” Yerim rushes out, her eyes glossy. Hyunjin lets go of Jinsol to reach for her best friend. She holds her hands in hers tightly.
“Hey, take a deep breath, Yerim. You’re doing great—No, don’t protest with me. You are. This isn’t the first event you planned, or the first you’ve been in charge of. Look around, no one seems to notice or care right now. They have no idea anything happened,” Hyunjin smiles. “I know you can handle this. I believe in you.”
“And if I fuck up more?” Yerim sniffles.
“Then I’ll distract everyone.” Hyunjin glances at Jinsol, who’s looking at her with utter adoration. “But you’re not going to fuck up. Have some faith in yourself.”
Yerim takes another deep breath, “Okay, yeah, you’re right. I got this. I’ll have servers come out with some o’devours or something while we fix this mess.”
“See, I knew that big brain of yours would find a solution,” Hyunjin says. Yerim hugs her friend and thanks her. She reaches into her bag and tosses Hyunjin the granola bar she came for and shoos them away so she can go back to work.
As they walk back around the dining room, Jinsol finally spots Jungeun. She freezes in her spot and Hyunjin follows her gaze.
Jungeun and Heejin stand with two older women, both with light blue colored pins on their dresses. One of the women has long brown hair and bangs swept to the side towers over the other three. Jinsol doesn’t recognize her, nor the shorter women with faded silver hair. They’re laughing with Heejin and Jungeun, all four women at ease.
Seeing Jungeun makes Jinsol angry again. It makes her even angrier watching Jungeun laugh and have a good time with Heejin. Maybe it’s petty, maybe it’s jealousy, she doesn’t care. Jungeun’s confession rattles through her head, but the way her and Heejin are standing together make Jinsol think that confession was just for show. Jinsol isn’t sure what makes her more confused, her anger about the confession or the relief that Jungeun looks happy with Heejin.
“Who are the women with them?” Jinsol asks as they both watch the group talk.
Hyunjin takes Jinsol’s hand. “Duchess Minkyeung and her wife, Duchess Yaebin. They're both high ranking officials in Statera.”
“High ranking? Like in the cabinet to the crown?”
“Mhm,” Hyunjin nods. “Their titles are more daunting than they actually are.”
Jinsol and Hyunjin gravitate toward each other, both feeling different degrees of pain, and in search of comfort.
“Jung Jinsol,” a voice says from behind them.
Jinsol turns around and immediately grins at the blonde standing there. Lady Mina smiles back. The two have been friends for many years, having both grown up in Valo. Her parents, who they spoke to earlier, had said she would be arriving a bit late. Jinsol is happy to see another friendly face.
“Looking as beautiful as ever, though I expect nothing less, Your Highness,” Mina hugs Jinsol and kisses her cheek.
Hyunjin forces her face to remain neutral as she watches Mina interact with Jinsol. She doesn’t like the twist in her gut when their hug lasts a little too long. Clenching her jaw, she smiles politely.
“Lady Mina, I didn’t know you were friends with Jinsol,” she says, trying to hide the grimace when the duo laughs.
“Friends,” Mina shares a look with Jinsol, “ah, yes, we’ve known each other for our whole lives it seems. Princess Jinsol here was my first kiss.”
“Mina!” Jinsol blushes, eyes widening at her friends lack of tact.
Mina just laughs it off, ignoring the subtle daggers Hyunjin is shooting at her.
“Congratulations on your engagement, you two will make a wonderful couple,” Mina says, looking at both of them. Her gaze settles on Hyunjin, “I’m sure you’re aware how amazing Jinsol is, right, Hyunjin?”
“Of course, she’ll be a magnificent Queen and partner.”
“Don’t forget kisser,” Mina winks. “Anyway, we’ll have to catch up soon, Jinsol.”
Jinsol and Hyunjin stand there dumbfounded as Mina starts to walk away. She curtsy's at someone behind them and then she’s gone. Hyunjin’s mind is reeling trying to make sense of what just happened. And why does she want to go ring Lady Mina’s neck right now?
“I’m so sorry for her, I—” Jinsol starts to say only for Queen Kyungri to appear in front of them. Jinsol’s stomach drops. She cannot catch a break today.
“Princess Jinsol, Princess Hyunjin,” Kyungri says. “It’s great to see you both. Congratulations are in order, I believe.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty,” Hyunjin says before her and Jinsol curtsy.
“I heard it was quite the spectacle. Grandiose, if you will,” Kyungri is smiling sweetly at Hyunjin and Jinsol. “My Taecyeon got down on one knee in the garden, but Princess Hyunjin really pulled out all the stops for you. She must really love you.”
Jinsol and Hyunjin both nearly choke on their drinks. While Jinsol’s brain is in chaos trying to figure out how to approach Kyungri after all these years, Hyunjin is worrying that maybe her proposal was too perfect. Her intention hadn’t only been to make Jinsol feel special, but also to show parliament and the Fiorens that Hyunjin is serious about this marriage. She may have overdone it a bit, but it sent the message she wanted.
“Your Majesty, how are you?” Jinsol tries to calm her breathing. She doesn’t know where Jessica is. Doesn’t even know if her sister has seen Kyungri or Taecyeon for that matter.
“Wonderful! It’s been many years since I last saw you, Jinsol.”
Behind Kyungri, a tall man with a radiant smile approaches with a little girl by his side.
“I was not aware that the Jung’s were close with your family,” Hyunjin says. Jinsol slides her hand into hers. Hyunjin can feel how badly she’s shaking and gives her a curious glance.
“Oh, yes, Jinsol here is actually the reason I have this beautiful family,” Kyungri kisses the man who’s now beside her.
Taecyeon smiles again and nods in greeting to Jinsol and Hyunjin.
“I want to thank you, actually. If you hadn’t sent Taecyeon in my direction, well, I wouldn’t be this happy. He’s just as amazing as you said.”
“I—” Jinsol is cut off by another voice.
“What did she say?” Jessica asks as she walks up to the group. Krystal and Yerin stand beside her.
“Jessica, it’s not—”
“I was just thanking your sister for being the reason Taec and I got married,” Kyungri smiles. Taecyeon let’s go of his daughter's hand. His expression is unreadable, though it’s clear he isn’t as happy as Kyungri is at this moment.
Hyunjin is watching this all go down just as confused as Jinsol’s sisters. But she holds tight to Jinsol’s hand, hoping that she can provide her some kind of strength and comfort.
“Jessica…” Taecyeon reaches out for her, but Jessica shakes her head. Her eyes glossing over before she strides away toward the back hallway. Taecyeon watches her go, half tempted to follow, but the glares from Krystal and Yerin keep him in his spot.
Their glares are soon turned on Jinsol. Neither gives their sister a chance to explain before following Jessica. Everything Jinsol worried would happen if they ever found out becomes true. Her heart sinks, lump forming in her throat, she tries to remain poised.
“Was it something I said?” Kyungri asks.
“No, Your Majesty, it wasn’t you. Thank you for the well wishes. If you’ll excuse me,” Jinsol releases Hyunjin’s hand and walks out of the dining room toward the hallway opposite of her sisters.
Hyunjin watches Jinsol stride out of the room. Not sure what even happened, but knowing that Jinsol is hurting.
“I’m going to check on her,” Hyunjin bows slightly. “Have a lovely evening.”
Hyunjin passes by Jungeun and Heejin as she follows Jinsol out of the dining room, she hears Jungeun follow her.
Jungeun had seen what happened and excused herself from Heejin, Minkyeung, and Yaebin. She had been worried all night with Jessica and Taecyeon in the room. Most people outside of Valo have no idea how close those two were and they certainly didn’t know that Jinsol had accidentally set Taecyeon up with Kyungri. All she could do just then was watch as Jessica approached the group. It doesn’t take much for Jungeun to figure out that Jessica knows the secret now, and Krystal and Yerin have chosen their side.
She’s not far behind Hyunjin when they both spot Jinsol. Jinsol’s standing in front of a large window, moonlight spilling through the glass. Her arms are wrapped around her stomach and Jungeun can see the tears. Jungeun wants to be there for her best friend, but Hyunjin gets there first. And when Jinsol turns around at Hyunjin calling her name, she sees Jungeun.
Part of Jungeun thinks Jinsol will come to her instead. She knows the history, knows the secret, she had been there through the whole thing. But Jinsol looks back at Hyunjin and collapses into her arms.
Jungeun ignores the pain radiating in her chest and walks back to the dining room, head hung low. She sits at the table when she gets back, taking her spot next to Heejin. Everyone seems to be waiting to be served.
Across the table, Sowon and Eunha shoot her curious looks, but it’s Heejin who reaches out to her. She places a soft kiss to her cheek as her hand settles on her thigh. Jungeun leans into the touch and places her hand on top of Heejin’s.
No words are needed right now. Heejin understands that pain.
Back in the hallway, Hyunjin is still comforting Jinsol. She’s rubbing her back as the other continues to cry. She’s not sure what’s going on, but she knows Jinsol needs her. So she’s here, holding onto her as tightly as she can.
Hyunjin isn’t sure what she’s expecting, really. Maybe a few minutes of a good cry before going back to the banquet. Or even a little bit of an explanation. But what Hyunjin doesn’t expect is a teary eyed Jinsol to pull out of the hug and lean down to kiss her.
She really doesn’t expect that, but she also doesn’t mind the feeling of their lips pressed together. Or the way her stomach flips and heart thunders in her chest.
Hyunjin leans into the kiss.
It’s just a split second before Jinsol jumps back. Eyes wide, mouth open.
“Oh, my god, Hyunjin, I—” Jinsol’s face heats up. “I—I don’t know what came over me, that’s not how—”
“It's okay,” Hyunjin whispers. A brick settles in her stomach as she sees, what she assumes to be, regret on Jinsol’s face. “It’s not a big deal. You—you were overwhelmed. Don’t worry about it.”
Jinsol looks down, wringing her hands. “Oh, right, okay…”
Before either of them can say anything else, before they can even process what happened between them, Yerim calls out behind them.
“Guys, dinner is about to be served.” Yerim takes note of the distance between them and the way they can’t meet each other's gazes. Jinsol doesn’t notice the way Hyunjin keeps touching her lips and Yerim realizes what just happened. A sly grin tugs at her lips.
Yerim all but drags the couple back to the dining room. They walk back, a little further apart than usual. Only coming back together before they enter the room.
Hyunjin goes to Jinsol’s room that night after all the guests have left. She’s been playing the kiss over in her head. But she’s also been thinking about the way Jungeun followed after Jinsol, too. That coupled with the heartbroken glances all night and everything else Hyunjin has seen over the years confirms what she’s always known. She just wants to hear the full story from Jinsol.
“Hey…” Jinsol says when she opens the door. Her blonde hair wet from her shower and her gaze focused on the floor.
“Hi...Can I come in?”
Jinsol nods and opens the door for Hyunjin to come in. They settle on the couch under the blanket. As nervous as she is, as bad as the twisting in her gut is, Jinsol tries to start the conversation. She has been thinking about the kiss, too. Thinking about what it means to her, to them, and to her love for Jungeun. She had spent nearly an hour in the shower running through it in her head trying to sort everything out. But talking it out with Hyunjin will give her more clarity.
“About the kiss—”
“I know it didn’t mean anything,” Hyunjin rushes to say, cutting Jinsol off.
“Will you stop talking over me,” Jinsol smiles through her glare
“Sorry,” Hyunjin murmurs sheepishly.
Jinsol takes hold of Hyunjin’s hand, trying to soothe both of them. There’s still a gap between them on the couch, but the feeling of Hyunjin’s hand calms her nerves. Especially when Hyunjin squeezes her hand real quick. A subtle signal, but it’s enough.
“The kiss...it did mean something to me,” Jinsol says, “but I have to be honest with you about something, because it’s not fair to you to keep it a secret.”
Hyunjin’s stomach drops, “It’s about Jungeun, right?”
“What? How’d you—” Jinsol turns to look at Hyunjin who is laughing sadly.
“You’d have to be blind to miss it.” Hyunjin doesn’t get where the ache in her chest is coming from. It could just be because Jinsol has kept this from her, even though she never owed Hyunjin an explanation about her past. Or maybe it’s because their kiss is becoming about Jungeun. “She ran after you today.”
“She ran after me because she knew about the Taecyeon thing,” Jinsol sighs. “She knew I’d be blamed. That’s all.”
Hyunjin turns to look at Jinsol earnestly, “Jungeun ran after you because she loves you. Not just because she knew.”
“But how did you know that she loves me?”
“We all grew up together, Jinsol. Anyone with eyes knows. I’ve seen how she looked at you, how she still looks at you,” Hyunjin says. She picks at the threads on the blanket as she talks. “And I see how you look at her.”
When Hyunjin looks up, Jinsol is frowning at her, eyebrows furrowed. She offers her a small smile, but even Hyunjin feels it wavering.
“I’m sorry,” Jinsol whispers.
“Why? I don’t know what happened between you two, and you don’t have to tell me, but I never want you to apologize for how you feel. You love her, I get that.”
“She broke my heart, Hyunjin,” Jinsol says, voice cracking. “I was a mess and I decided to move on.”
“So you came to the ball, is that why you’re sorry? ‘Cause you feel like you’re using me to move on? Because I don’t see it like that.”
“I don’t want you to think I’ll back out. I’ve—” Jinsol sighs, closing her eyes for a moment. Hyunjin slides a little bit closer, holding her hand tighter. “I’ve really loved every minute we’ve been together. I was such a mess when I left Valo, I was looking for anything that could distract me or help me move on. And you’ve made it easier to do both.”
Jinsol opens her eyes and finds Hyunjin patiently looking at her. There’s this gentle openness, but she can feel Hyunjin’s hands trembling, too.
“That kiss did mean something to me,” Jinsol says. “I’m just—I’m not completely ready to figure out what it meant exactly.”
Hyunjin’s heart flutters. This whole time she’s been worrying that Jinsol would say it meant nothing to her, that it was a mistake, or that emotions were running too high. But to hear that it meant something puts Hyunjin at ease. The moment their lips had met, Hyunjin felt something stir inside her, something changed. She had felt like she was free-falling.
“We can table it for now,” Hyunjin says. “Nothing has to change between us, okay?”
Jinsol burrows into Hyunjin’s side, laying her head on her shoulder.
“You mean so much to me,” Jinsol whispers. “I only want to be with you.”
Hyunjin presses a kiss to the top of Jinsol’s head, “Me too.”
Vivi calls Hyunjin down to the foyer the next day. They’re standing together near the front door.
“Hey mom, what’s up?” Hyunjin asks as she trots down the staircase.
“Hi Sweetie,” Vivi says, wrapping an arm around her daughter’s waist when she gets closer. She gestures for the footman to open the front door. Behind them, Wendy and Irene follow them outside. “I called you down here because I want to know where you went the other night.”
They’re standing on the front platform of the palace, stairs on either side of them. Hyunjin panics at the question and steps out of her mom’s hold.
“I—uh, okay, don’t get mad, but I snuck out,” Hyunjin flinches waiting for the scolding only to be met with her mom’s calm demeanor.
“I know that, Wendy followed you.”
“You’re not sneaky, Hyunjin. I don’t know how many times we have to tell you that,” Wendy chimes in with a pointed gaze. Hyunjin blushes.
“I—fuck. I snuck off to go on a date with Heejin.”
Vivi tilts her head, “Hyun—”
“And before you yell at me, I broke it off.” Hyunjin sighs and walks over to the railing, leaning on the cold rock slab. She looks out at the small garden in the front lawn, watching the flowers shake in the breeze.
“Why’d you do that?” Vivi joins her daughter.
“It’s not appropriate to be doing that when I’m engaged,” Hyunjin shrugs.
Vivi looks at her daughter, a tiny grin forming. Haseul told her not to do this. Actually, she told her, scolded her, and yelled at her, but Vivi is stubborn. So, she did it anyway.
“Well, I invited Heejin and Jungeun to stay at the palace.”
Hyunjin’s eyes widen comically, her voice raising, “What?”
Vivi just stares at Hyunjin, her smile growing more mischievous.
“Mom, no, you need to call this off,” Hyunjin rushes out. She glances back at the palace knowing inside somewhere Jinsol was still asleep. Jinsol who had seen Hyunjin sneak out with Heejin. The same Heejin that Hyunjin basically dumped over the phone, who is also engaged to Jungeun, who’s in love with Jinsol. And Jungeun is coming to stay, too. Panic rises in her even higher as she starts to connect all the incredibly messy dots. “I’m—I’m literally engaged! And Jinsol...Jinsol is more than enough for me, Mom. Please, call this off.”
Vivi shakes her head and looks out at the driveway. The gates are slowly opening as a long black car drives up toward them.
“It’s a bit too late for that,” Vivi smiles sympathetically at her daughter.
Hyunjin can make out the country flag of Statera. Nausea washes over her.
“They’re already here.”
Notes:
I'm going to start biweekly updates starting now. I have a lot of school work coming up and just I lot I'm dealing with right now, so this will have to take the back burner. I'll will update this again August 1st or 2nd.
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
ask me things here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96
Chapter 14: Unexpected but Not Unwanted
Notes:
I know I don't need to apologize but IM SORRY I'm updating so much later than I intended. A lots been going on irl that's kept me from this fic, and I can't give y'all any inkling of when I'll update again, but it shouldn't be any later than the end of the month. Hopefully. Yeah I'm not making any promises.
Anyway, quick recap: Hyejoo got Hyunjin to convince Chorong to let Chaewon design more clothing, and Hye got a nice little cheek kiss from Chae. Yerim is still seemingly oblivious that Yeojin is the one leaving the treat baskets. Jinsol unfortunately saw 2Jin sneak away for a secret date, but Hyunjin ends up breaking it off for real this time and chooses Jinsol. Vivi told Haseul she loves her LIKE FOR REAL THIS TIME. Jessica found out that Jinsol accidentally sent Taecyeon into the arms of another women. Jinsol kissed Hyunjin!!!!! But they had a mature conversation about it and tabled it for now and Jinsol makes it clear that she only wants to be with Hyunjin, who says it back. Oh, and Vivi decided to MEDDLE and invite Heelip to the palace. ANNNNNDD that's what you missed on MTTC, let's get into it again.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter Fourteen: Unexpected But Not Unwanted
It’s two days after the States Banquet and Jessica is sitting in her office in Valo. Her initial disgust and anger toward Jinsol has long since subsided. If anything, in that moment at the banquet, Jessica had felt betrayed. Her family was supposed to support her not inadvertently push the man she loved into the hands of another woman. Logically, Jessica knows her sister was a kid when this happened, but she can’t stop the simmering anger she feels toward Jinsol.
Jessica hasn’t spoken to her sister in those two days. She has barely spoken to Krystal or Yerin either. She doesn’t even know what to say or where to begin. It’s like the wound is split wide open once again. The day Taecyeon left is still as vivid a memory as the pain. Left to rule a country on her own, even though all she wanted was to rule with him.
The bitterness keeps her from reaching out to Jinsol.
“Jessica?” Sunny says, drawing her attention to the door.
“Sunny,” Jessica relaxes into her chair, “what’s up?”
“You have a visitor,” Sunny clenches her jaw. “King Taecyeon is at the gate.”
“He is?” Jessica sits up, brushing her hands over her hair and looking frantically around the mess that is her office. Sunny visibly tenses in the doorway, unbeknownst to Jessica.
“Yes, I can cancel your meetings for today…”
“No, no, just push them back an hour or so and send Taec up.” Jessica turns back to Sunny to find her avoiding eye contact. Her heart plummets, she stands and goes to reach out to her.
“Yes, Your Majesty,” Sunny bows her head.
“Sunny…” Jessica is drawn closer as their eyes meet. There’s something in Sunny’s eyes that makes her stop. The advisor forces a polite smile and bows out the door. Before Jessica has a chance to process Taecyeon enters her office with a hesitant smile.
“Hey,” he says, striding toward her, “I’m sorry for showing up unannounced.”
Jessica walks back to her seat at her desk. A mix of unease and resentment boiling under her skin.
“It’s fine, it’s similar to how you left. I expected nothing else from you,” she says dryly, gesturing to the chair in front of her.
Taecyeon runs his fingers through his hair and sits. “That’s why I’m here, actually. To explain.”
“Ten years later,” Jessica scoffs. “Better late than never, I guess.”
Despite her obvious hostility, Taecyeon laughs and Jessica has to find the willpower in her to not strangle him. Laughing in her face when she’s clearly still upset about what he did. She shakes her head.
“Still the same stubborn woman, I see,” he chuckles, but quickly goes back to a neutral expression. “I was actually afraid to come back to talk to you.”
“Why?”
“Because, I was afraid that if I did I would come running back to you.”
“Are you kidding me?” Jessica’s eyes narrow and Taecyeon flinches under the gaze.
“Jessica—”
“No, Taecyeon, you do not get to come into my home and tell me that. You don’t get to say that, period. I was devastated when you left without a word. Then I had to watch the same thing happen to my sister. Don’t you dare waltz in here and say that when I have worked so hard to let you go.” Jessica deflates finally letting some of the buried anger out.
There’s a tense silence between them. Jessica worries maybe she said too much, but the weight that’s been lifted from her is more than enough for her to stand her ground.
“I’m sorry,” Taecyeon finally says, looking Jessica in the eyes. “I will always be sorry for how I left things between us. But I need you to hear this.”
“Do I really need to?” Jessica grumbles, but makes no moves to actually stop him.
He shakes his head, a hint of a smile on his lips.
“I was in love with you for years, Jessica. You were my best friend and I watched you carry the weight of the country on your shoulders long before you were even crowned.” His smile melts away, a far away look in his eyes. “I waited for you. I waited as you put others’ needs and desires before you own. I waited as long as I could, but I knew you’d never choose to fight for us.”
Jessica frowns, “You never asked…you never tried.”
Taecyeon laughs sadly, casting his gaze away from her. Jessica doesn’t miss the way his leg shakes, his fingers tapping against his knee. She may not know him much at all anymore, but she has always been able to tell when he’s nervous.
“I did. Many times. But you brushed a lot of it off as a joke. You always used to say, ‘I don’t need a man to be Queen.’”
“I didn’t know…”
“I know you loved me,” Taecyeon looks back at her, “just like you knew I loved you. But I couldn’t wait for a love I’d never have. It wasn’t fair for me.”
“Why are you telling me this now?” Jessica whispers, biting her lip to hold back the tears that threaten to fall.
“Because after ten years you haven’t moved on. The scene at the banquet showed me that. I may regret what I did, but I found love with Kyungri. I chased what I wanted and I—I was hoping that giving you an explanation would give you closure to do the same.” He looks at her hopefully, hand reaching across the desk to clasp hers. “We were once best friends, I still care for you. I want you to be happy.
Just then, Sunny knocks on the door and pokes her head in. Her eyes immediately zeroing in on their clasped hands. She clears her throat.
“Your next meeting starts soon, Your Majesty.” Sunny tears her gaze from their hands and stares at Jessica.
Jessica pulls her hand out of Taecyeon’s and smiles warmly at Sunny.
“Thank you, I’ll be there in a minute.” The moment the door shuts behind Sunny, Jessica reluctantly looks back at her former love who is smirking at her. “What?”
“Nothing, nothing,” he says, but his smirk widens. “Chase after what you want, Jessica. Don’t let her slip away.”
They share a quick, amicable hug before he leaves to fly back to Hyssop. Leaving Jessica barely a minute to sit with his words before going into the conference room. Queen Hyuna’s video call on the screen, but Jessica’s eyes settle on Sunny who’s seated at the table waiting. There’s a tug in her chest that she’s just now placing a name to. All those years she spent not chasing what she wanted. Maybe it’s time for a change.
Yerin steps off her family’s private jet onto the tarmac in Dahlia, a few hours drive from the capital, but a short flight away. Yerin tries to avoid using the jet. It’s elitist in a way she never wants to be, but it had been necessary today. She’s on a tight schedule with the upcoming carnival in Clara. There isn’t enough time in the day for her to finish all the things on her list.
In Dahlia, the children of the Clara Children’s Home are being temporarily housed in the renovated palace. Yerin had debated moving the children there permanently, but there is a lot of politics tied up in that palace. Dignitaries won’t budge on keeping the palace for themselves, and without the parliament's approval, there’s nothing Yerin can do. She had tried on multiple occasions. There’s nothing that will pry a fancy vacation home from wealthy dignitaries. Not even thirty orphaned children.
She gets into the SUV waiting for her on tarmac with Johnny sliding in beside her. The driver takes off heading up toward the mountain where the palace sits.
“You talked to Jungeun, right?” Yerin says into her phone to her sister. The SUV moves swiftly up the winding road as they talk.
“Yup, she’s agreed to help me write this law,” Krystal says.
“She used to work for Prime Minister Joy, so she’s gotta be good at this. I’m sure she’ll help make sure the law passes.”
“Me too, just don’t tell our other sisters, okay?” Krystal asks. Both women know that Jessica would be quick to trample the law Krystal is trying to create. And neither are too fond of Jinsol enough at the moment to trust her with this secret. They’re thankful that Jungeun and Jinsol haven’t been on speaking terms because this secret would be out.
“Secret’s safe with me,” Yerin quickly agrees. Outside the window of the SUV, she sees the outline of the palace breaking through the foliage. “I gotta go, we’re almost to the Dahlia Palace.”
“Bringing the good news to the kids?”
“I am. They hate the palace, most of them say it’s too stuffy,” Yerin says. “They’ll be excited to know they can go back to the children’s home in Clara.”
“I bet,” Krystal hums. “Palace life is really no fun. Anyway, I’ll let you go. I have a date with Bora anyway.”
“Ooh,” Yerin teases, a smirk on her lips. “A date? Finally. It really took you two long enough to be girlfriends.”
“Not girlfriends! Shut up. Love you, see you tonight.” Krystal hangs up without a word from Yerin. She chuckles at her older sister before stuffing her phone into her pants pocket.
“We’re here, Yerin,” Johnny says as they pull up in front of the palace.
A sprawling ivory palace with massive windows lining each floor and turrets on either side looms above them. Beautiful landscaping of delicate flowers and perfectly manicured shrubs line the front of the palace.
Yerin steps out of the SUV, thanking the driver as she does. Johnny gestures her forward, shutting the door behind her.
The front door of the palace swings open and a little girl with pig-tails comes dashing down the stairs. Yerin has enough time to brace herself for the small body that flies into her arms.
“Yerin! I missed you,” Yeji hugs her tightly.
She sets the little girl down and smiles brightly back at her. Yeji’s grown a lot over the past months that Yerin has been gone.
“I missed you, too. How’re you?”
Yeji takes her hand as they walk into the palace.
“Good!” Yeji says cheerfully. Yerin glances down and sees the little girl’s smile fall away. “I guess so anyway…”
“Yeah? What’s going?” Yerin keeps her eyes on Yeji intermittently as they walk through the immaculate hallways. Pristine granite floors echo their footsteps. Oil paintings line the walls and there’s even a random suite of armor that Yerin remembers Jinsol crashing into once when they were teenagers. Yeji looks up at Yerin only to tear her gaze away quickly.
“Some of the other kids have been mean to me lately.”
Yerin frowns, her heart sinking at the thought of this sweet kid being bullied. “What’re they doing?”
“They didn’t believe you were coming back to help and that you abandoned us.” Yeji holds Yerin’s hand a little tighter as they climb the staircase. “I told them that was a lie! You’d never leave me—us like that. They said I was stupid.”
Yerin stops them at the top of the stairs and kneels in front of Yeji. Yeji’s sniffling, rubbing her eyes with the back of her fists and Yerin’s heart really breaks.
“Were you starting to believe them?” Yerin asks.
She nods, “it’s been so long since you’ve been here. You kept saying soon, soon, soon, and—” Yeji’s voice breaks, tears finally spill out of her eyes.
“You thought I was going to abandon you.”
“Three families have said they were going to adopt me...it was always ‘soon.’” Yeji’s lip quivers. “They didn’t want me.”
Yerin swallows thickly, trying to keep her own tears at bay. She wants to be there for Yeji, to focus on her, but hearing how badly she hurt her is tearing her apart. Not only that, but also hearing how many families have passed on the opportunity to adopt this sweet seven year old girl. There’s only so much Yerin can do for these kids, only so many resources she can pool together to give them the life they deserve. She hopes the carnival will provide the opportunity for these kids to be themselves and make the people of Clara fall for them like Yerin has.
“I’m sorry I made you feel that way, Yeji. I wanted to make sure that when I came back I had good news for you. But that doesn’t change that I upset you, so I really am sorry.” Yerin hugs Yeji, hand brushing the back of her head. “Those people are missing out on knowing such an incredible person. I’m so happy to know you.”
“Please don’t leave for that long again,” Yeji cries.
“I won’t. I promise.” Yerin hugs her tighter, doing her best to reassure Yeji that she isn’t going anywhere. At least not now. Hopefully for a while. Yerin can’t imagine what life would be like to not see Yeji anymore. She doesn’t want to imagine that. Over the time Yerin has spent working at the children’s home and getting to know the kids, Yeji has always been attached at her hip.
Well, maybe not always. When Yerin first met Yeji, she had been five-years old at the time. She was passed around foster care until she landed in the children’s home with Director Seulgi. Yeji was quiet, reserved, too afraid to make friends because she didn’t want them ripped away from her again. Yerin started volunteering there and found Yeji sitting far away from all the others during lunch. She sat next to the little girl with her signature pigtails and ate her lunch in silence. Day after day, Yerin came back and had lunch with Yeji. Slowly talking, playing games, joining the other kids. She’s watched Yeji grow so fast, become more outgoing, and she’s never been more proud.
To see her in tears now because of her, breaks Yerin in a way she never knew she could be broken.
Seulgi’s son, Yeosang finds them wandering the halls a little lost looking for his mom. He laughs at the Princess and leads them over to the room Seulgi has claimed as her office. They’d uprooted their own lives as well to stay in the palace while the children’s home is unlivable.
In the corner of the office, Yeji plays with an hourglass on the shelf while Yerin discusses the logistics of the carnival with Seulgi.
Yerin has seen Seulgi smile plenty of times, but the watery smile that graces the Directors face is something new entirely. She tries to thank Yerin again and again, but Yerin won’t listen. She glances over her shoulder at Yeji, she’s still watching the sand fall in the hourglass, and smiles herself.
“These kids deserve the world,” Yerin answers.
When they finally gather the other kids in one room for lunch, Yerin tells them the news of the carnival. Each kids' cheers ring loudly in her ears. Their smiles are forever burned in her mind. She watches Yerin talk excitedly with her friends, Soojin and Taehyun. They chatter back and forth about the games they’ll get to play and all the cotton candy they can eat. And Yerin knows that she’d do anything for Yeji, for all the kids.
Yeji bounds over to her and climbs into her lap, asking her all kinds of questions about what the children’s home will look like, and what rides will be at the carnival, and if she can wear a tiara for the day so she can be a princess too. And Yerin answers them all, a smile permanently plastered on her face when she’s around this little ray of sunshine.
In Fiore, Jinsol is walking through the halls of the palace to meet with the trio, as everyone in the palace affectionately calls them. Jinsol had grown used to the constant presence of Hyunjin’s best friends. It’s different from the life she had growing up. Jinsol really only had her sisters and Jungeun for the most part. Sure, she’d grown close with Mina and those who were close to her. Outside of that, Jinsol never had the kind of friends that Hyejoo and Yerim are to Hyunjin.
Jinsol means they’re pure chaos wrapped in a genuine, but still somewhat deceiving, sweetness.
Hyejoo and Yerim welcomed her so quickly into the group. They make sure to include her in their pranks and activities. Some days, when Hyunjin is busy with Queen Vivi, Jinsol will hang out with Hyejoo or Yerim, sometimes both. It’s not weird without Hyunjin either. Jinsol’s come to consider them her friends as well.
Jinsol even made a friend in the palace by herself. Chaewon ran into her one day while she was alone reading a book in the garden. She’s not really sure how it happened, but they enjoyed each other’s company. With Chaewon, comes Yeojin, and somehow Jinsol has become roped into the prank war between the two friend groups.
She really just stands back and watches as Yeojin and Yerim go back and forth. Jinsol accepts this chaotic change of pace. It keeps her mind busy. Helps her forget that her sisters are upset with her. That she kissed Hyunjin and has no idea what to do with the feelings that it brought to the surface for her. Or that Jungeun is now living in the palace with them.
Jinsol can’t count how many awkward dinners she’s had to attend since Jungeun and Heejin moved in. It’s made even worse by Vivi’s insistence that they have those dinners every night and get to know each other better.
Outside of dinner, interactions are minimal. And Jinsol is thankful because she isn’t ready to talk to Jungeun. Especially after she kissed Hyunjin. She may have tabled the conversation with Hyunjin, but Jinsol hasn’t stopped thinking about it. Jinsol may not have known what the kiss meant to her, but she knows it means something in regards to her relationship with Jungeun. She’s just not sure what.
The new arrivals in the palace leave Hyunjin even more uneasy than before. Jinsol can see it. She can feel it between them, too. Their relationship is fine, but there’s a barrier that is between them now. Like a bubble they’re waiting for to pop.
It’s hard to miss the glare Hyunjin sends Jungeun’s way whenever the latter looks at Jinsol. But Jinsol doesn’t miss the way Hyunjin looks at Heejin, either.
There’s no shaking that tight grip on her chest whenever she sees Hyunjin and Heejin together. It’s impossible after the night she watched Hyunjin sneak out with her. That feeling is still there now as she walks to meet Hyunjin and her friends. It’s part of the reason why she’s afraid to admit to herself what the kiss between them really means. Hyunjin may have admitted she wants to be with Jinsol, too, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything more than a promise of friendship and commitment. She doesn’t know if that will remain true while Heejin is in the palace, especially when she hears the constant buzz of Hyunjin’s phone throughout the night, or the name that lights up the screen when Jinsol glances over.
Her stomach twists at the memory. Even though she’s the one that sleeps beside Hyunjin, the one who gets to hold her hand, the one who will marry her, Jinsol hates that she may not be the one that Hyunjin actually wants to be with. Feelings included.
Ahead of her, the doors to the second floor terrace are wide open showing the trio leaning over the railing, looking below them. The sound of Hyunjin’s laughter reaches her ears and Jinsol tries to leave behind the bitterness of her situation to be present with them.
“Want us to prank them?” Yerim asks as Jinsol approaches. None of them have noticed her yet, they’re too focused on watching Vivi and Haseul have tea with Jungeun and Heejin on the patio below them.
Hyunjin shakes her head. She’d love nothing more than to cause some trouble. There’s so much she doesn’t understand about how she’s feeling since Jungeun and Heejin came to the palace. There’s a knot twisted so tightly in the pit of her stomach that she has no clue where it came from. It’s made even worse when she sees Jungeun looking at Jinsol.
“Not with my mom there,” she says.
“But later,” Yerim grins at her friends.
“I mean…” Hyunjin trails off.
“I say it’s a right of passage in this palace,” Jinsol says, sneaking up and hugging Hyunjin from behind. She settles her chin on her shoulder, smiling when she feels Hyunjin relax into her embrace.
“We did prank Jinsol,” Hyejoo points out.
Yerim chuckles remembering the harmless prank.
“I’m still finding Orbeez in my clothes,” Jinsol grumbles against Hyunjin’s shoulder.
“It’s only fair that we prank them, too,” Hyejoo finishes.
Her and Yerim turn around and lean their backs against the railing, both looking at the couple in front of them with teasing smiles.
“I’m not saying yes, but I’m not saying no, either.” She leans further back into Jinsol’s chest, turning her head to smile at her. Neither acknowledge the fluttering in their chests when their eyes meet.
“You’re both disgusting,” Hyejoo scrunches up her face.
Hyunjin sticks out her tongue. “And you’re just jealous because you haven’t talked to Chae in a few days.”
Yerim crosses her arms and looks on as her friends bicker. Her and Jinsol exchange playful eye rolls at the two.
“Jinsol, let go of Hyun so I can push her over the railing,” Hyejoo steps closer to them.
“Okay,” Jinsol shrugs. She pulls away from their embrace and says to Hyunjin, “Try not to land on your face.”
“No loyalty!” Hyunjin whines as Jinsol moves over to stand with a laughing Hyejoo and Yerim.
They walk off, with Yerim and Hyejoo on either side of Jinsol, leaving Hyunjin on the terrace.
“So, uh, why’d I meet you guys up here?” Jinsol asks as they walk further away. Hyunjin’s footsteps echo behind them.
“We’re taking a day trip to Lunaria!” Yerim skips ahead, throwing her arms out to the side as she spins. “It was Hyunjin’s idea, but we never pass up a chance to go swimming at their lake house.”
“More like a lake mansion,” Hyejoo adds under her breath and Jinsol laughs.
The two walk ahead as Jinsol pulls back and waits for Hyunjin. She takes Jinsol’s hand the moment they’re next to each other.
“Taking me on a vacation already?” Jinsol jokes.
“I guess I am,” Hyunjin smiles. “I just needed to get away from my mom and the invaders for the day.”
“Invaders?” Jinsol raises a brow, receiving a cheeky smile from Hyunjin. “Sounds good to me. I could use some distractions, too.”
Hyunjin squeezes her hand as they go down the front stairs to the foyer. “You doing okay? I know everything with your sisters has been weighing on you.”
Jinsol shrugs, “It was bound to come out eventually. They just need some time to calm down, and then I’ll have to talk to them.”
“I still don’t see how you did anything wrong, it’s not like you were the officiate for Taecyeon’s and Kyungri’s wedding.”
“To Jessica, I might as well have been,” Jinsol smiles sadly, “but let’s not talk about that. I’ll deal with it when I have to. For right now, we’re going to have some fun and put some distance between us and them.”
Hyunjin nods, but her stomach sinks. Not for the first time she wonders if Jinsol is tempted with Jungeun being at the palace. They’re finally in the same building for a prolonged period of time after months of being apart from each other. Jinsol may have said that she only wants to be with Hyunjin, but does that really still hold true when Jungeun is right here for her to have again?
Much like Jinsol, she pushes those thoughts to the back of her head and focuses on having a good time today. It’s what they both deserve.
Later in the day, Heejin and Jungeun are in one of the guest suites. Vivi had been kind enough to give them two separate suites knowing that arranged marriage may mean they don’t share a room. But Jungeun and Heejin have slept in the same room since they arrived at the Fiore palace.
Jungeun had gotten used to sleeping next to Heejin. After the incident at the picnic they really hadn’t slept apart. Jungeun doesn’t think she’d get much sleep without Heejin next to her.
They’re both on the bed now, the TV on in the background. Heejin is laying on her back, head falling over the edge of the bed as she looks out the window. Jungeun didn’t bother asking her why she is upside down. Her gaze is focused on The Royal Update show on the screen.
Heejin isn’t listening to it in the slightest. She's never paid much mind to those shows. Most of the time they were exaggerated accounts of what really happened, and in some cases they were flagrant lies. Heejin had heard plenty of those lies when her parents died.
Jungwoo is the gold standard in the industry, though. She isn’t one to tell lies or make foundless conclusions. Heejin and Jungeun have only heard good things about her since Jungwoo doesn’t report in Statera.
Over the past week, Jungeun has seen older episodes airing about Jinsol and Hyunjin. Old footage of their cafe date came on last night. She had watched the zoomed in video of Jinsol and Hyunjin laughing as they tossed packets of sugar at each other. A warmth blossomed in her chest watching her old best friend smile so wildly.
It’s not the same kind of warmth she used to feel looking at Jinsol. That one had been like her body was buzzing, set ablaze. This one, the one she felt watching that clip, was different. Jungeun couldn’t quite pin down how.
Heejin finally sits up. A little lightheaded, she falls into Jungeun’s side. She smiles goofily at her and Jungeun laughs.
“Head rush?”
“Yeah, I dunno why I keep doing that,” Heejin laughs with her.
Jungwoo grabs both of their attention.
“It appears Queen Vivi has invited Statera’s royal couple, Princess Heejin and Lady Jungeun to stay at the palace,” Jungwoo says. She’s standing in front of the royal crest near the gate of the palace. Her smile is replaced with a stony, contemplative look. “No word yet on why the Queen decided to bring the soon-to-be Queens of Statera into her palace. Rumors have been circulating that Princess Jinsol and Lady Jungeun once used to be very close. The question remains how close and what this could mean for both Princess Heejin and Princess Hyunjin.”
Jungwoo smiles again at the camera, “Tune in tomorrow morning for more about our beloved royal family. For now, I’m Uhm Jungwoo, and this has been The Royal Update.”
“I thought Jungwoo was the nice reporter,” Jungeun huffs, changing the channel.
“She is,” Heejin sits up to look at Jungeun, “but she does ask a good question.”
“You know how close Jinsol and I were.” Jungeun tries to refrain from rolling her eyes.
“No, the other one. What you being this close to Jinsol means.” Heejin averts her gaze from Jungeun. She’s been thinking about this for a few days now. Ever since they arrived in Fiore. Heejin accepted the invitation from Queen Vivi without a second thought because she wanted closure with Hyunjin, or at least some kind of explanation. One that is better than what Hyunjin had given her already. But she also knew that Jungeun needed to see Jinsol again. Whether or not she’d say it, Jungeun needs to talk to Jinsol. Even if that means the end of her and Heejin, it has to happen.
The thought of that hurts Heejin like hell.
“I think you should be asking what it means for you and Hyunjin,” Jungeun says, the words like acid.
Heejin flinches. “We are just friends.”
“That’s really rich, Heej.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Heejin pulls away from Jungeun.
“You may be ‘friends’ now, but that’s not all you ever were. Don’t think I don’t see how you look at her. Or how you're always texting her.”
The space between them is getting wider and wider.
“You were in love with Jinsol!” Heejin fires back, unable to keep her temper in check. She’s shaking, ready to fight. A part of her knows Jungeun isn’t wrong. The other part says it isn’t Hyunjin that Heejin wants.
“Key word: were!” Jungeun shouts and Heejin is taken aback. She has never seen Jungeun raise her voice, not at her. “You know I choose you. I have continually chosen you! When are you going to choose me, too?”
Each word stings as they hit Heejin, but nothing hurts more than the pain she sees in Jungeun’s eyes.
Jungeun stands from the bed and with one last teary look, she leaves the room. The door slams shut with a hollow echo and Heejin is alone.
She sits in dumbfounded silence. All this time she had thought she was choosing Jungeun. All that she’s done has been for Jungeun, but maybe that hasn’t been enough. Maybe it hasn’t been obvious enough when Heejin’s been running off to be with Hyunjin.
Heejin groans and flops back against the mattress. It’s probably best for her to give Jungeun space right now, especially since she’s at a loss for where she’s gone wrong.
At the front of the palace, a disheveled Jungeun takes a seat on a bench hidden against the side of the palace. Out of the way enough that no one will see her, but she can see plenty. She groans as she sits down, pulling at her hair, furiously blinking tears away.
She can’t explain her outburst. It’s not like Heejin owes her the time of day, they’re just friends after all. Heejin doesn’t have to choose her all the time. Jungeun may have chosen Heejin, may have given up the life of a daughter of duchesses, may have thrown away her chance at love with Jinsol, but that didn’t mean Heejin has to choose her. Really choose her. Not just as some arrangement of a proposal.
Jungeun’s gut twists at the realization. It ties itself in a complex knot and leaves her holding her stomach tightly. What if Heejin doesn’t choose her, too? It shouldn’t matter to her as much as it does. She doesn’t even know why it means so much to her, but the idea that Heejin may not want to be with her as much as Hyunjin hurts. Hurts in an unfamiliar way.
There isn’t much time for her to dwell on it with a commotion coming from the front of the palace. Hyunjin and Jinsol stand with Hyejoo and Yerim at the base of the stairs. They’re talking loudly, and Jungeun immediately pinpoints what noise is about.
Pulling up the driveway is a slim black car with Valon flags on the antennae. A new unease settles in Jungeun. There’s no reason for Valo dignitaries to be here. Everyone had left after the banquet. Having a Valon car pull up to the palace can only mean something is wrong.
A man in a suit and sunglasses steps out of the car. He hands Jinsol an envelope as he removes his sunglasses. Jungeun recognizes him as Jinsol’s old guard, Taehyung.
“What is the meaning of this?” Hyunjin steps in front of Jinsol as she reads the letter.
“Princess Jinsol is being summoned by her Queen,” Taehyung says bluntly.
“You mean her sister .” Hyunjin narrows her eyes at the guard.
Jinsol lays a gentle hand on Hyunjin’s arm, pulling her back from Taehyung. “Hyun, it’s fine.”
“No one has been summoned to Valo in centuries!” Hyunjin looks at Jinsol desperately.
In the shadows, Jungeun watches with concern etched on her face. She had known Jinsol’s biggest fear was Jessica and her sisters finding out about her secret involving Taecyeon. The scene that unfolded at the banquet had been unnerving, but Jungeun hoped the sisters would figure it out. Apparently, it’s worse than Jungeun thought given the summons that’s been sent.
Hyunjin takes Jinsol’s hand, “You can’t possibly think this is a good idea.”
“One does not ignore their Queen’s summons, and definitely not a summons from your big sister,” Jinsol says. “I’ll be okay. We need to talk anyway.”
“But—”
“Stop worrying so much,” Jinsol leans down and kisses Hyunjin’s cheek delicately. “I’ll be back.”
Jungeun watches Hyunjin stand there with her friends behind her as Jinsol gets into the car. Taehyung closes the door behind and goes around the other side. Not a minute later, the car drives off down the long driveway.
Jungeun looks back to Hyunjin who looks torn between calling for her own car to chase after Jinsol or letting her go. Hyejoo lays a hand on her shoulder and steers her inside with Yerim’s help. It’s clear, even from a distance, that Hyunjin cares deeply about Jinsol. Jungeun’s happy then when she sees the love in Hyunjin’s gaze. Whatever love Jungeun felt for Jinsol, it’s really not there anymore, she’s not jealous of what Jinsol has found with Hyunjin. All she really wants is her friend back.
She glances back at the closing gate, the car disappearing into the bend of the road.
Jinsol storms into her sister’s office. The door slams against the wall, causing Jessica to jump in her seat at her desk.
“A summons? A fucking summons, Jessica! You could’ve just called !” Jinsol shouts, crossing her arms over her chest, she glares at her sister.
“Where’s the fun in that?” Jessica raises a brow with a laugh. Jinsol’s annoyance depletes quickly at the sigh of her sister’s relaxed demeanor.
“You’re so dramatic.” Jinsol flops into the chair across from Jessica. “I can see you’re not mad at me anymore.”
“I talked to Taecyeon,” Jessica sets her pen down, giving her whole attention to Jinsol.
“I can explain—” Jinsol’s eyes widen and she rushes to speak. Only she knows the full story, the true story of her side of things. She wants badly to explain herself, what really happened all those years ago, but Jessica holds up her hand, silencing her.
“You don’t need to. He made me realize that I had pushed him away long before he left.”
“But I’m the one who sent Kyungri his way...”
“You were just a kid, Jinnie, and even if you hadn’t said anything, I still probably wouldn’t have ended up with him,” Jessica sighs. “I’ve put others' wants and needs before mine for a long time. I’ve kept myself from going after what I wanted my whole life. But not anymore. Getting closure with Taec helped me see that.”
“I’m happy for you, but I’m still sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you,” Jinsol says. She remembers all the nights after Taecyeon’s and Kyungri’s marriage had been announced when Jessica cried herself to sleep. Krystal would tell her and Yerin to let her be, to behave in their lessons the next day, to not cause too much trouble for Jessica. Jinsol had known then that her words caused her sister pain. She still knows it now, even if Jessica won’t admit it.
Jessica smiles reassuringly at Jinsol, whose smile falters. She stands from behind her desk and sits in the chair beside her sister.
“I did it to myself. I got in my own way then, but I’m not going to do that now. This time I’m chasing my happiness,” Jessica says, words light and smile widening. A certain person comes to mind for her immediately. This time Jessica isn’t going to let her stubbornness or duty get in the way. She’s going to chase her happiness even if it goes poorly. No more will she live in obligation only.
Jinsol notices the change in her sister. There isn’t as much pain behind her eyes. She’s smiling more, shoulders less tense, posture at ease in general. In her whole life, Jinsol has never seen Jessica this calm. Even with a potential pandemic, Jessica is smiling. And for most that may be unnerving to see in a ruler, but Jinsol knows that it’s the best thing to happen to Valo and the Jung family in a long time.
Jessica has always been the head of the family, at least for as long as Jinsol can remember. She has been the strength, the foundation that keeps everything afloat. It was only a matter of time before she started to crumble under the stress of the country, of the crown. Jinsol hopes that maybe Jessica is sharing the burden now. The stacks of paper usually on her desk are much smaller. Now that Jinsol’s looking, the office itself is less cluttered. She has no idea what’s been happening since she moved out, but Jessica has changed for the better. A clear head, a stable mind, that’s what Valo needs to move forward. Jessica seems to have finally gotten back on track.
“I love you, and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. And yes, that includes what happened with Taecyeon,” Jessica shakes her head. “It never would have worked with him, not back then. Especially not now. Sometimes our first loves are meant to be just that; a first.”
“A first, not a forever?” Jinsol asks, but she knows exactly what her sister means. She swallows past the lump in her throat, drawing more and more parallels between her and her sister.
“Jinsol,” Jessica says and takes her hand, “I know I have been hard on you. I may not have been the best guardian, older sister, or role model, but I want to give you some guidance now.”
“Okay…?” Jinsol looks at their connected hands and back up to Jessica’s gaze skeptically.
“Talk to Jungeun.” Jinsol scoffs, but Jessica pushes on. “You’ve been avoiding each other since her and Heejin got engaged. I know it hurts, Jinnie. If anyone understands what you’re going through, it’s me, but you can’t keep avoiding this. You need to figure out what you want from each other before it’s too late again.”
“I’m scared,” Jinsol admits in a hushed whisper. She fixes her gaze on the floor. “We haven’t talked in so long and so much has happened. I don’t—I don’t want to get hurt again.”
“I know, but you deserve to be happy. Just think about it, okay? That closure gave me what I needed to move on, it might be something you need, too.”
Jinsol thinks for a minute about Jungeun, about what their relationship has meant to her. All the late nights, the long days, the summer afternoons spent playing Wall Ball and swimming in the lake. The times they spent staring up at the clouds, watching the world go by. That safety and comfort she has always had with her best friend. It’s something she misses. Take out the romance, the yearning, the drama that came to head because of her confession. That’s what Jinsol really wants. Maybe Jungeun had always been meant to be her first love and nothing more. A first but not her forever.
Doesn’t mean Jinsol is any less angry at the silence Jungeun has been giving her. Doesn’t mean she’s let go of the pain she’s been feeling because of Jungeun’s sudden departure. But maybe her sister has a point. Maybe she needs closure to move on.
With Hyunjin.
“Okay,” Jinsol nods, finally meeting her sister’s eyes. “Are Krystal and Yerin still mad at me?”
“Nope, I talked to them already, they’re waiting for us downstairs.” Jessica stands with Jinsol following suit. In her heels, she towers of Jinsol. She slings an arm around her little sister’s shoulders and they head downstairs to meet the rest of their family.
The entertainment room is basically a fancy way of saying home theater. Loveseats and leather recliners sit in the room, each row elevated higher than the one before it. In the back, Krystal and Bora are cuddled into each other on a loveseat. Sunny sits in front of them, on a loveseat alone, and Jessica walks past Jinsol to sit beside her. They fall together like magnets. Alone in the first row is Yerin, she waves Jinsol over to the recliner next to her and offer her a drink. No one bats an eyes, the tension from a few days ago long gone. Jinsol lets the anxiety roll off her body as she settles into the seat.
As the movie begins to roll, Jinsol yearns for a contentment that her older sisters seem to have found.
It’s later in the night and Jungeun is pacing in the hallway near Jinsol’s suite. She’s been waiting for Hyunjin to finally leave the suite, but it’s taking forever. Jungeun is half tempted to give up and try another time despite the amount of time she spent hyping herself up for this.
The second she heard Jinsol had gotten back from Valo, Jungeun raced from her suite to talk to her. Sure, she hasn’t even talked to Heejin yet, not since their fight earlier in the day. She reasons that she needs to get on the same page with Jinsol first.
If Jungeun wants Heejin to choose her, then she needs to be willing to let things go with Jinsol. To finally talk it all out, explain, and hopefully get her best friend back.
As Jungeun is pacing, the door to Jinsol’s suite opens and Hyunjin leaves. Jungeun waits for her to round the corner before she knocks on the door herself. She doesn’t stop to talk herself out of it or wonder if this is a good idea. At this point it’s necessary.
The door swings open, Jinsol’s voice already coming through the crack. “Hyunjin, did you forget—” Jinsol stops, smile giving way to a twisted frown—“oh, Jungeun. What are you doing here?”
Jungeun gulps, “Can we talk?”
“We are talking,” Jinsol crosses her arms, leaning against the door frame.
Her preplanned speech goes right out the window now that she’s face to face with Jinsol. She sighs, “Please, Jinsol. I—You deserve an explanation.”
Jinsol’s ready to lay into her, to send her away without hearing a word. She hasn’t said anything remotely productive in months, why start now? But Jinsol remembers what Jessica said earlier, that coupled with the pleading look Jungeun is giving her leads her to opening the door wider.
Jungeun doesn’t give her a second to change her mind and walks into the room.
What they both miss is Hyunjin coming back around the corner to get her forgotten sweatshirt from Jinsol’s room. She sees Jungeun slide through the open door of Jinsol’s suite. When the door closes behind them, her throat tightens and her chest heaves. She clenches her jaw and stomps back to her own room.
Inside Jinsol’s suite, it’s awkward for a few minutes as they settle into chairs across from each other. She avoids Jinsol’s eyes and wrings her hands in her lap trying to figure out where to begin.
“You wanted to talk, then talk,” Jinsol snips. She’s aware she sounds hostile. It may be a bit harsh, but she can’t find it in her to care. There’s still the echoing remains of resentment and heartbreak from when Jungeun left rattling around inside her. It’s amplified with her so close again.
“We haven’t talked since I—since that thing happened.” Jungeun cringes at her own words. If only she could turn back time to start this over again.
“You mean when I told you I loved you and you left to marry Heejin? Yeah, I’m aware.”
Jungeun groans, “You’re not making this easy, Jin.”
Jinsol laughs and there is no happiness behind it. No sparkle in her eyes that Jungeun remembers. It’s cold and distant and leaves a sour taste in her mouth. She recedes back into her chair more.
“Easy,” Jinsol repeats under her breath, lips twisting into a cruel smile. “Easy...easy like you leaving me behind? Easy like pretending I don’t exist? Easy like telling me you do love me after months of silence? Easy! You have no right to ask for easy.”
Her eyes burn as she fixes her gaze onto Jungeun. Both teary eyed and shaken, not sure where to go from here.
“Okay, I deserved that,” Jungeun runs her hand down her face, wiping away any tears that have fallen.
Jinsol slumps in her seat, propping her head up with her hand. “Why’d you come here?”
“To talk, I told you—”
“No, to the palace, to Fiore,” Jinsol stares expectantly at Jungeun.
“I needed to talk to you,” Jungeun says. It’s not entirely false. Really, it had been Heejin’s idea and Jungeun went along with it solely to be able to talk to Jinsol properly. She’s trying not to dwell on why Heejin would want to come here.
“So text me, don’t invade my new home.”
Jungeun tilts her head, “Would you have answered?”
“Maybe…” Jinsol purses her lips. “Okay, probably not.”
An awkward laugh tumbles from both of them. They avert their eyes from each other, still unsure of where this should go.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” Jungeun says. “I shouldn’t have left like that.”
Jinsol shakes her head, “It’s not that you left, it’s that you stopped talking to me. I called you everyday. I sent you texts and emails and—and, Jungeun, I sent you fucking letters . I tried so hard to reach you. Yeah, sure, it hurt that you didn’t say it back, that you left to marry Heejin anyway. I would have been fine eventually if you just talked to me. I cared that I lost my best friend, not that I lost the woman I loved.”
Jinsol takes a deep breath. It’s shaky, and uneven, and her face is wet from the tears that managed to slip out while she had been talking. When she looks back at Jungeun, she sees her crying, too.
“I didn’t know what to say to you,” Jungeun whispers. “If I picked up the phone, if I answered you at all, I would have told you how I felt. I would’ve talked myself into leaving Heejin for you and I—”
Jungeun cries harder now, thinking of how much pain she caused Jinsol and how much pain she would have put Heejin through had she not agreed to marry her. All her life’s work, her parents’ dreams for her, everything she wanted to achieve would have gone down the drain. Not to mention the idea of leaving Heejin hurts her physically. Her lungs feel like they could collapse at the mere thought.
“Because you love her, too,” Jinsol finishes.
“She’s my best friend, like you. She needed me.” Jungeun takes a deep breath, trying to compose herself.
Jinsol watches, reading between the lines of Jungeun’s words. She wonders if Jungeun is remotely aware of her feelings, but she doesn’t say anything.
“I can’t change what I did, I can’t change that I hurt you, but I’ve missed you so much,” Jungeun says, a small smile tugging at her lips.
“I’ve missed you, too,” Jinsol mimics her smile.
“I wish things were different,” Jungeun looks at her sincerely. Tears long since wiped away from both of their faces. But Jinsol is shaking her head.
“I’m happy now, really happy. I don’t know what would’ve happened if we spoke up sooner and confessed to each other. I just know that I’m happy here.” A warmth spreads through Jinsol's chest thinking about the time she’s spent in Fiore. About the pranks, dinners, dates, and everyday moments with the people in the palace; with Hyunjin. She smiles.
“Do you think we can be friends again?” Jungeun says, hopefully.
“Yeah, I do, but no more secrets, okay? Keeping stuff from each other pulled us apart, and I don’t wanna go through that again,” Jinsol says.
“Promise,” Jungeun holds out her pinky. Jinsol laughs. They both move closer to link their pinkies together.
“Promise.”
They settle into an easy conversation after that. Most of what they had to say already aired out. Jinsol asks Jungeun about her parents and where they’ve been. It leaves Jungeun doing acrobats to skirt around the conversation of money. The real reason she agreed to marry Heejin. She sees no reason to bring it up now when everything between her and Jinsol has finally calmed. It wouldn’t be relevant anyway.
On her walk back to her suite, Jungeun feels more at ease than she has in months. The only thing that’s stopping her from true contentment is the fight between her and Heejin. They needed to talk. But, for tonight, Jungeun needs to sleep alone and really clear her head.
Down the hall, Hyunjin sits in her suite texting Heejin. She knows it’s wrong of her but her first reaction to seeing Jungeun with Jinsol had been to run to Heejin.
Actually, no, her first reaction had been to barge into Jinsol’s suite and make her presence known. To stake her claim on Jinsol. Which sounds beyond possessive and Hyunjin immediately hated herself for having such a thought. But there had been something that arose in her the moment that door closed behind Jungeun and Jinsol that made Hyunjin agitated.
She had wanted to rip her hair out as she wondered what they were talking about in that room. Are they talking about her? Are they getting back together? Would that be so bad though...that would mean Heejin would be single. Yet, none of that eased the agitation or tightness in her chest.
So, instead, she had texted Heejin. Who was quick to answer that she’d be there soon.
It’s while she’s waiting for Heejin that she gets a call from Jinsol. Her stomach simultaneously drops and fills with butterflies.
“What is wrong with me?” Hyunjin groans before answering the call. “Hey.”
“Can I spend the night in your room? I don’t want to be alone,” Jinsol says, voice scratchy.
Hyunjin hears it, too. That sadness, it’s small and fragile, and Hyunjin doesn’t dream of saying no.
“Yes, of course you can. You don’t need to ask, Sol.” Hyunjin’s phone vibrates against her ear. “You spend most nights in my suite anyway.”
“I like sleeping next to you,” Jinsol admits nonchalantly.
Hyunjin really wants the stupid fluttering to go away. How did she get here so quickly with Jinsol after only a few weeks together? She doesn’t care. Honestly, she can’t get enough of Jinsol’s presence.
“I’ll see you soon,” Jinsol says before hanging up.
Hyunjin smiles and then panics when she sees the text from Heejin. She’s quick to tell her she’s changed her mind, but promises to talk to her tomorrow. The sound of her suite door opening brings her to abandon her phone, not caring whether or not Heejin answers. Only thinking about Jinsol and being there for her.
The next day, Hyejoo and Yerim are standing in Vivi’s office. Neither are too sure why she called them in here.
“Relax, girls, you’re not in trouble,” Vivi gestures for them to join her for tea at the small table in the office. “Unless you should be in trouble.”
“No! No, we’ve done nothing wrong,” Yerim is quick to say. Hyejoo bites her lip to keep from laughing. Technically, Yerim isn’t lying. They, as a unit, have done nothing wrong. Yerim alone may have pulled a prank that left Yeojin covered head to toe in flour, but that’s not the point.
“Mhm, I’ll pretend like I believe that,” Vivi grins behind the rim of the tea cup. “I actually wanted to talk to you both about Hyunjin.”
“Shouldn’t you first apologize to her for inviting Heejin here?” Hyejoo asks, gaining her an elbow to the ribs from Yerim. “What?”
“Hye, she’s the Queen , don’t talk to her like that.”
“It’s okay, you’re both basically my kids after all these years,” Vivi sets her tea down. “I’ll talk to Hyunjin soon. I know my daughter, she’s not going to want to hear a word I have to say for a while.”
“Especially after you invited Heejin and Jungeun here,” Yerim lets out a low whistle. “Hyunjin’s stuck in the palace with the woman she talked to on the phone every night and then cut it off with. And the woman that her now fiancée was in love with. Like, damn, Your Majesty, that’s one hell of a reunion.”
“Dude,” Hyejoo snaps, eyes wide and jaw dropped.
“At least I didn’t tell her how sad Hyunjin was!”
“ Dude !” Hyejoo hits her friend. “You’re terrible at this.”
Yerim grimaces, “Oops?” She rubs her arm where Hyejoo hit her.
Vivi just smiles watching the two interact. “Well, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear any of that. I really just want you to keep an eye on her. I’m—I’m worried about her. We all know how badly she opposes arranged marriages and I have given her an out if she chooses to take it. I’m worried that she’ll still do what she thinks she needs to do and not what she wants to do.”
“You Kim-Wongs have a habit of putting your duty first,” Hyejoo says.
Her words sting Vivi a little more considering her mom is Haseul. Vivi tries not to show that pain on her face. “Yes, I’m afraid Hyunjin learned that from me.”
“But won’t you lose the crown if she doesn’t marry Jinsol?” Yerim sips her tea.
“I don’t care about that, I just want her to be happy.”
“Us, too,” Yerim says. Hyejoo nods next to her. “We’ll be there for her.”
“We always are,” Hyejoo adds.
Vivi shares smiles with the two and they finish their tea with small talk before she walks them out of the office with a quiet thanks. She closes the door behind them and goes back toward her desk, only for the door to swing back open a moment later.
Haseul stands, with her hand on the doorknob, staring at Vivi with a soft smile. They haven’t had much of a chance to speak privately since the banquet. Not with the newest arrivals at the palace and Vivi’s need to make sure that her meddling is going to have a good pay off.
Really, Vivi should’ve made more time to talk to Haseul properly, but she’s scared. She told Haseul she loves her at the banquet. It had been a long time coming, definitely wasn’t the first time she had said it, but it was the first time Vivi truly meant it with the intention of moving forward in their relationship.
Haseul didn’t say it back. Not that she needed to hear it, or wanted her to say it back purely for the sake of saying it. Vivi’s just afraid that she’s not going to say it back at all.
“Seulie, what’re you doing?”
“I think we need to talk,” Haseul closes the door behind her, but doesn’t move toward Vivi. “About the other night, at the banquet…”
“Oh.” Vivi’s heart plummets. She casts her eyes away, focusing on the papers on her desk instead.
“You know, I waited so long to hear you say those words. Really say them. We’ve been doing this for decades, Vivi. Going back and forth between friends and something more long before you married Kai,” Haseul says, hands shoved in the pockets of her pants. “It was always one excuse after another. Every time we got closer to being together, you pulled away, and for the longest time I resented you for it.”
“I’m sorry, I never—” Vivi swallows thickly, trying to keep her composure.
“These past couple months, with Hyunjin getting closer to Jinsol, with your time as active Queen coming to an end, we’ve gotten closer than ever. It gave me time to realize some things,” Haseul slowly moves away from the door. “You lost so much when you lost Kai.”
“You lost him, too,” Vivi says, ache blooming in her chest at the memory of her late husband. Her fears rise around her.
“I did, I lost my best friend, and you lost your husband, a co-parent, a King. You weren’t okay, Vivi. It was selfish of me to think we could be together after all you had to hold up.”
Vivi has to hold back her tears when she meets Haseul’s eyes. Her gaze is so tender, gentle, and Vivi thinks she might break down right there. She has no idea where this conversation is going, it could go in a million directions.
“He told me to be with you,” Vivi whispers. It’s so quiet, Haseul almost misses it. “He was always saying it to me, to us. But when we were at the hospital, he told me to stop doing things for the sake of the crown, and do this one thing for myself. To finally be with you. That was his last wish and I know—I know it took me this long to get here, but I meant it when I said it. Every time I said it. I love you, Haseul.”
Haseul’s chest tightens at Vivi’s admission. She knows as well as her that Kai had always wanted them to be together. He pushed them together more times than Haseul can count. As much as it hurts to hear that his last wish for them was to be together took so long to come true, it can come true now.
She strides across the room, taking Vivi’s shaking hands into hers. Vivi looks into Haseul’s eyes and sees the same quiet pain and deep seated love that she feels for her.
“I love you,” Haseul says softly, and Vivi’s fear disappears. “I should’ve said it at the banquet, I should’ve said it so many times before this. Not just in passing or early in the morning when I knew you couldn’t hear me. I love you, Vivi. I have loved you since I was eighteen, and I love you now, almost thirty years later. You’re it for me.”
Tears well up in Vivi’s eyes at the words. All these years, all this wasted time, and Haseul is still here. Still loving her. Vivi lost a lot when she lost Kai, but Haseul lost him, too. Instead of falling together, they fell away from each other. Maybe not physically, but Vivi kept her at arms length most of the time. She wasn’t okay then, she hadn’t been for a while. Raising Hyunjin, ruling a country, shouldering it all on her own.
Now, with everything settling, with Hyunjin almost to the throne, Vivi can’t find another reason to keep herself from seeking her own happiness.
“I never should have made you wait for so long…” Vivi whispers in the space between them. “I’m not going to make you wait anymore.”
“No?” Haseul teases.
“Not another second. I love you, so much. I’m not letting you go.”
“I don’t want you to.” Haseul grins, leaning closer. “Are you going to kiss me or—”
Vivi cuts her off with her lips, falling into Haseul with ease. Haseul clings to her, as if she’s afraid Vivi might just float away, pull back, and change her mind. She’s been through this before, but this time it feels different. Different in the way Vivi kisses her with care instead of urgency. She’s in no rush. There’s nothing to prove, no finish line to cross. Vivi is pouring every ounce of love she has for Haseul into that kiss, the decades of longing she never should have put either of them through.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you like that for years,” Vivi whispers when they break apart.
“There’s nothing to stop you from doing it anymore,” Haseul says. It’s confident, soft, and everything Vivi needs to hear to kiss her again.
Maybe it was bad timing before. Maybe they weren’t meant to be together until now. Whatever the reason, Haseul doesn’t care anymore. Because they’re here now. They’re here now.
After their meeting with Vivi, the two walk down the hallway, and Hyejoo catches Yerim grinning madly. She’s almost too afraid to ask. She asks anyway.
“What? I know that look. I don’t like what usually follows that look.”
“Vivi wants us to keep an eye on Hyun…” Yerim wiggles her eyebrows.
“Yeah, I was in the room, too. What’s your point?”
“Let’s spy on her! And Heejin!” Yerim spins and faces Hyejoo, the mischievous grin widening.
“That is not what Vivi meant!” Hyejoo argues back.
“But we can see how they really feel. Plus, it’d be fun!” Yerim takes Hyejoo’s hands and jumps up and down. “Come on, come on. We could be like the Charlie’s Angels.”
“You always want to be an Angel, Yerim, but every time you either break something or yourself,” Hyejoo pulls her hands out of Yerim’s and places them on her shoulders to make her stop jumping. “I know you just want to spy on them to have a reason to use the secret passages and claim the Queen told you to do it.”
“And your point is?”
Hyejoo pauses, then shares a grin with Yerim. “I’m in.”
They waste no time dashing off to their rooms to put on inconspicuous outfits. Ones that are fit for spying. When they meet up, they both are dressed head to toe in black with big sunglasses and bucket hats.
They’re standing in front of the sunroom, giggling at each other’s outfits when Chaewon and Yeojin find them. The smaller pair had been on their way to hang out on the back lawn when they saw Yerim and Hyejoo. Intrigued by the choice of outfits, considering the summer heat, they approached them.
“What are you two doing?” Chaewon asks, face twisting in confusion.
“Nothing!” Hyejoo and Yerim yell in unison, jumping away from each other.
Hyejoo hits a vase and nearly shatters it on the ground. Luckily, Yeojin reaches out in time to stop it. Hyejoo fights the blush creeping up her face as Chaewon stifles a laugh.
“Doesn’t look like nothing…” Yeojin points to the sunglasses they’re wearing. “Why are you wearing those inside?”
“Um...aesthetic?” Yerim shrugs, shifting on her feet.
“You’re up to something.” Chaewon looks around the room for trip wires or hidden pies. “I swear if I get pranked—”
“No, no, we’re not—I wouldn’t—” Hyejoo starts rambling in the face of her crush. Chaewon just smiles at her endearingly wondering if she should interrupt.
Yerim smirks, an idea forming. “You want to help us spy on the Princesses?”
Chaewon lifts a brow, “Why would I spy on myself?”
“You’re not a princess,” Yeojin tilts her head with narrowed eyes.
“I live in a palace, therefore I’m royalty,” Chaewon rolls her eyes.
“You’re an idiot, that’s what you are.”
Yerim looks between the friends and then to Hyejoo who’s too busy staring at Chaewon with heart eyes. Guess she has to do this herself.
“So! Do you wanna spy on Hyunjin and Heejin or…?”
Yeojin and Chaewon stop their bickering and exchange a glance. They both shrug.
“Sure,” Yeojin says, speaking for them both.
“Perfect! Yeojin and I can spy on Heejin. Chaewon, you can go with Hyejoo to spy on Hyunjin! Okay? Okay. Perfect. Bye!” Yerim takes Yeojin’s hand and quickly sprints down the hallway leaving Hyejoo alone with Chaewon.
Hyejoo shifts uncomfortably on her feet, tugging at the collar of her shirt. She’s never spent much time alone with Chaewon. Outside of the time she comforted her when she was upset, Hyejoo really hasn’t had a chance to be alone with her. They’ve exchanged texts and short conversations since the day Hyunjin showed Chorong the designs. But all Hyejoo really remembers from that day is the kiss Chaewon had planted on her cheek. She’s had that on replay in her head for days now.
“Are we gonna find Hyunjin or are you going to keep staring at me?” Chaewon smiles.
“I—uh, we—” Hyejoo shuts her mouth tightly. Heat flooding her cheeks.
“Ah, there’s the Hyejoo I know.” She takes Hyejoo's hand. “Let’s go, Jinsol told me she’d be practicing for the coronation ceremony with Hyunjin out at the target range.”
“R-Right! Uh, lead the way.”
“Oh, I will. I don’t trust you not to fall.”
“I’m not that clumsy!” Hyejoo huffs, but still let’s Chaewon pull her forward.
“Just around me,” Chaewon throws a wink over her shoulder. Hyejoo suddenly finds the floor very interesting.
The two find Jinsol and Hyunjin out at the target range. Both women have bows in their hands, but Hyunjin stands off to the side, watching Jinsol’s form.
Chaewon tugs Hyejoo into a bush a little ways away from the couple. Their heads peak up above the top of the bush. They can’t hear much from their spot, but it’s better than just standing behind them conspicuously.
“Sorry you get dragged into the pranks with us,” Hyejoo says after a while of watching Jinsol suck at shooting a bow and arrow.
“It’s cool, I’m glad I haven’t been pranked.”
“I wouldn’t let that happen,” Hyejoo mutters. Chaewon pretends she doesn’t hear it, but her smile gets bigger. “Yerim’s really amped up the pranking ever since her secret admirer stopped bringing her sweets.”
Hyejoo has a strong idea that the secret admirer is Yeojin. It’s not hard to figure out, honestly. She’s not sure how Yerim hasn’t put two and two together, but maybe she’s choosing to be blind to it. There are only so many small bakers in the palace—by that, Hyejoo means there’s only one.
“Her secret admirer….right,” Chaewon nods slowly.
“You know don’t you?” Hyejoo narrows her eyes playfully.
“What? No,” Chaewon’s voice raises an octave higher.
“Hmm, well, okay,” she shrugs, “I was going to say we should set them up. I’m pretty sure Yerim has a crush on whoever it is, but oh well.”
“I—okay, fine! It’s Yeojin.”
“Wow,” Hyejoo starts laughing loudly and Chaewon has to pull them behind the bush more to remain out of sight. “You just gave her up that easily.”
“As if you didn’t already know,” Chaewon whispers.
“The only person who probably doesn’t know is Yerim herself. She’s so caught up in pranking Yeojin.”
“I told Yeo to tell Yerim, but she’s too afraid to change things.”
“They’re idiots,” Hyejoo sighs.
They both fall silent, long since forgetting they’re supposed to be keeping an eye on Hyunjin. Instead, they’re caught up in a quiet moment, eyes locked on each other. Fallen into their own world without a single care.
Hyejoo picks a leaf out of Chaewon’s hair before tucking the loose strand back into place.
“Thank you again, by the way,” Chaewon says. “For showing Hyunjin my designs and convincing her to talk to my mom.”
“It didn’t take much convincing, you’re talented, even Hyunjin could see that,” Hyejoo smiles at Chaewon.
“Still, I appreciate it,” Chaewon is smiling back at Hyejoo so softly. Hyejoo thinks her heart is going to combust being this close to her crush. All she can think about is how soft her lips felt against her cheek and what they would feel against her own.
Over at the range, Jinsol is frustrated and that’s putting it lightly. Her and Hyunjin have been at this for hours and still Jinsol is no closer to getting the stupid arrow to pierce the target. The archery instructor had left a while ago, not that it mattered since they were borderline useless to Jinsol.
She felt lighter last night and that probably has something to do with the conversation she had with Jungeun. Jinsol even talked to Hyunjin about it before they fell asleep together.
When she had woken up this morning, though, she saw a message from Heejin on the screen of Hyunjin’s phone. Jinsol hadn’t meant to see it, she only wanted to wake Hyunjin up. Then her phone screen lit up. The nausea Jinsol had felt was unbearable. She left Hyunjin to wake up by herself.
It’s been on her mind ever since.
Jinsol takes aim again and releases the arrow. It falls very sort of the target.
“I suck at this!” Jinsol turns to look at Hyunjin with a pout.
“You really do,” Hyunjin laughs and finally approaches her. She’s been watching her struggle for a little while, but didn’t want to impose her help without permission.
“That instructor was not helpful. He smelled like rotten eggs,” Jinsol says, frowning. “Can you please help me? I need to not look like an idiot at the coronation.”
Hyunjin smiles and walks up behind Jinsol. “Get into your stance.”
Jinsol sets herself up like usual. Nocks the arrow, lifts her arms, and pulls back. She feels Hyunjin’s body against her back, her hand gently pushing her elbow down. Hyunjin starts to instruct her, her voice a delicate whisper in her ear. Jinsol listens and adjusts to each word.
“Touch your mouth with your hand, use it as an anchor,” she says. “The string should follow the path from your jaw, to your lips, and your nose…”
Jinsol wonders if Hyunjin can tell she’s stopped breathing. The proximity of her body, the sound of her voice, Jinsol can’t stop herself from turning to look at her. Unable to resist the pull. Jinsol is met with an intense gaze. Hyunjin’s dark eyes boring into Jinsol’s; a spark ignites within her chest.
Her eyes drift down to her lips and back up, only to realize Hyunjin had been staring too. She swears they’re both leaning in. Hearts beating rapidly in time.
They’re so close Jinsol forgets how to breathe under Hyunjin’s gaze.
And then the arrow flies from the bow. Jinsol yelps, her head hitting Hyunjin’s as she tries to see where the arrow went. Hyunjin steps back, rubbing her forehead.
Jinsol spots the arrow as it embeds itself in a tree right above a bush. Two bodies fall backwards out of the bush. One dressed in all black, the other with a blonde head of hair. The pair stand up quickly and run off toward the palace.
Hyunjin walks up beside Jinsol.
“Was that—”
“Hyejoo and Chaewon, yeah…” Hyunjin watches them sprint away.
“Why were they in a bush?” Jinsol asks, though she knows neither of them have any clue. She turns to look at Hyunjin, coming face to face with her again. Her eyes flicker to the shorter woman’s lips before she blushes.
Hyunjin clears her throat, willing her own blush to fade. “Um, right, well, I think you get it now.”
“Yup, I—thanks,” Jinsol nods quickly and turns back to the target to practice. Hyunjin takes the place next to her, both of them aiming for their own separate targets. Their hearts still hammering in their chests, thoughts racing.
Beside Jinsol, Hyunjin misses the target and curses under her breath. Her hands are shaking, her brain still stuck on the almost kiss. One that wasn’t due to heightened emotions or stressful situations. It would have been intentional.
She wanted to kiss Jinsol.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Heejin and Jungeun are sitting at the table. Some cooks move around behind them, but other than that they’re alone.
Well, besides the two women hiding in the secret room connected to the kitchen. Yeojin and Yerim are crouching in front of the grate together, talking in hushed voices.
“Is this how you pull your pranks?” Yeojin takes a minute to glance around the hidden room. She had no idea this existed, though she always wondered how the three of them were always ahead of her. They had been spying. Yeojin shakes her head smiling.
“Yup! There are so many secret passages, you’ll never be on my level,” Yerim smirks.
“I’m sneakier than you think,” Yeojin says cryptically. The devious look that crosses her face leaves Yerim on edge, and Yeojin enjoys it. That means Yerim still has no idea it’s her that’s been leaving her those baskets. Yeojin’s not sure if that’s a good thing though...maybe she should tell her soon. What’s the worst that could happen?
Before Yerim can question the mischievous look on Yeojin’s face, Heejin and Jungeun start to talk. They’ve been sitting in an apparently tense silence.
“I’m sorry for how I left the other day,” Jungeun says, finally looking up from the table. She’s been dreading this talk all day. Worried that maybe Heejin is going to send her away, choose someone else. That’s the last thing Jungeun wants.
“Don’t be, you—you gave me a lot to think about,” Heejin reaches out, placing her hand over Jungeun’s on the table. “And you were right.”
“What? Right about….?”
“ I thought I had been choosing you, at least I thought I had been choosing you enough. But I wasn’t all in with you.” The corner of her lips tugs up. “We’re supposed to be partners, in life and in ruling a country. I need to be putting you before anyone else, and I haven’t been. I’ve—I’ve been putting Hyunjin before you, and that isn’t fair to you.”
“I get it, you love her,” Jungeun says past the lump forming in her throat.
“I thought I did, you know? You had that chance to find love organically with Jinsol. And maybe I’ve been jealous of that. With Hyunjin it felt organic, like it was finally a choice I could make for myself. Parliament didn’t make it, Sooyoung didn’t make it, you didn’t make it; I did. But I dunno, I guess I’m holding out hope like she’s this missing piece in my life I need.”
Jungeun’s heart drops. She bites her lip, slowly pulling her hand back from Heejin.“Do you want to be with her?”
“No, I-I don’t.”
“You really don’t sound sure about that,” Jungeun says. She takes her hand back completely, folding them together in her lap.
“I asked you to marry me, Eun, and I meant it.”
“You should talk to her,” Jungeun looks away, trying to hold her tears back. “If she’s what you want then—then you deserve a chance to be with her.”
“No, that’s not—” Heejin reaches for her again, only for Jungeun to pull back further. Her chest tightens when she sees the tears in Jungeun’s eyes.
“I know this was just an arrangement between us, don’t worry about it.” Jungeun clears her throat and forces a smile. “I choose you, Heejin, no matter what, I choose you. But I think you should go talk to her.”
Heejin hesitates, but slowly gets up and walks out of the kitchen.
In the secret room, Yeojin and Yerim are holding their breaths. This feels like an incredibly intimate moment to be intruding on, but they can’t pull themselves away.
“Maybe we should—” Yerim starts to say, gesturing to the exit, but Yeojin’s still staring down into the kitchen.
At the table, Jungeun is shoveling candies from the baggies Yeojin had been packing up for Yerim. She had fallen behind giving her baskets because her mom got in her head about those stupid succulent cupcakes.
“Yeojin—”
Just then, Heejin storms back into the kitchen, scaring Jungeun at the table and the cooks in the room. She marches up to the table and sits back down.
“I choose you,” Heejin says simply, taking a chocolate candy from Jungeun’s hand.
“What?” Jungeun stares, jaw dropped.
“I made it halfway down the hallway before it realized how stupid this is. I don’t feel for Hyunjin half of what I feel for you.” Heejin’s eyes widen. She takes another chocolate and shoves it in her mouth. “Um, what I meant is you’re who I choose to be with it, and I mean that completely. I don’t need to talk to Hyunjin to realize that or be sure of that.”
“Yeah?” A smile appears slowly on Jungeun’s face.
“Yeah, it’s you, Jungeun. No one else,” Heejin smiles softly at the woman across from her. She doesn’t need to talk to Hyunjin to know they’ll be on the same page. Hyunjin had said it before, it isn’t fair to Jungeun or Jinsol to continue whatever they were. And that’s the thing, too. Whatever happened between her and Hyunjin is over, and it’s time to move forward.
Yeojin watches in horror as the couple continues to eat the chocolates on the table. She doesn’t have the time to make any more for Yerim before the day is over. She really wanted to surprise her. It’s been so long since she left a basket, she’s hoping Yerim hasn’t forgotten about her.
Even though Yeojin is pretty sure she doesn’t know it’s her.
“If you eat one more, I will not hesitate to go for your kneecaps!” Yeojin watches the couple jump away from the chocolate. Yerim laughs loudly beside her.
“Holy shit, is this place haunted?” Jungeun asks, looking around the kitchen like a ghost is just going to pop out.
The kitchen staff don’t react, recognizing the voice immediately.
“It will be if you eat another chocolate!” Yeojin threatens, and it isn’t an empty one.
Yerim laughs even harder as Heejin and Jungeun share a wide-eyed look before bolting out of the kitchen, leaving the chocolate behind.
“I didn’t know you took your candy so seriously,” Yerim lifts a brow, still laughing.
“It’s special candy.”
“...You make laced candy in the palace kitchen?” Yerim stares at Yeojin in absolute shock. “That’s dangerous, you could get arrested!”
“No! Oh my god, no. I meant it’s for someone,” Yeojin blushes despite trying not to.
Yerim smiles innocently, “You wouldn’t do well in prison. You’re so small.”
Yeojin scoffs as they leave the secret room, brushing off the lingering embarrassment. “I would seduce everyone with my baking skills. Don’t underestimate me.”
Another round of laughter spills from Yerim’s lips, and Yeojin can’t get enough of it.
Yerim smiles down at Yeojin. Taking in the soft blush, and overconfidence, and the way she tries to hide behind her hand when she laughs.
“You’re really cute.”
“Oh,” Yeojin stops. She thinks maybe it’s time to tell Yerim the truth. Right now, while they're in high spirits. Maybe she’ll get lucky. “Actually, Yerim, I—”
“Guys!” Hyejoo comes rushing over to them, pulling Chaewon along behind her. Both are red in the face and panting. “We almost died hiding in a bush.”
“She’s exaggerating,” Chaewon rolls her eyes playfully.
“That arrow came right for our heads, what do you mean ‘ exaggerating’ ?” Hyejoo narrows her eyes at Chaewon, who only shrugs with a grin. Hyejoo melts immediately.
“Whipped,” Yeojin mutters under her breath, but Hyejoo hears her.
“You’re one to talk,” Hyejoo fires back. She covers her mouth with her hand, eyes widening. “Um, anyway, Yerim, we have that thing to do.”
“What thing?” Yerim furrows her brows.
“You know, the thing. At that place. With—Oh, my god, just come with me!” Hyejoo grabs her by the elbow and starts to drag her away.
“Bye Yeojin! Bye Chae!” Yerim waves until Hyejoo tugs her again making her tumble forward. The two disappear up a staircase and out of sight.
Yeojin and a Chaewon stare at the empty space the other two just occupied.
“I almost confessed to Yerim.”
“I almost kissed Hyejoo.”
They exchange blank expressions.
“Wanna go eat some ice cream?” Chaewon asks, offering her arm to Yeojin, who shrugs and links their arms together. They walk off to the kitchen, deciding to unpack all that pat er.
Across the palace, later in the evening, Hyunjin runs into Heejin. Honestly, she’s been looking for her all day. She had promised they would talk today, but she’s been so caught up with Jinsol that she completely forgot.
That and she had to interrogate her friends for spying on her and somehow convincing Jungeun that the palace is haunted.
Hyunjin finds Heejin wandering around the main floor near the old gym. She hasn’t gone near it in a while. More than a while. She hasn’t stepped foot in the gym since she was a toddler, at the very least. Not since her dad died.
There are a lot of places in the palace that Hyunjin has refused to go near, let alone in, since Kai’s death. His absence impacts her so much and yet she barely remembers him. Maybe it’s time to finally go into those places, the ones she’s shoved aside and locked up.
“Hey, what are you doing down here?” Hyunjin walks up to Heejin.
“I’ve been trying to find a place to work out, but everyone says you all just do it outside,” Heejin answers. “And then I found the gym, but it’s locked. I was actually gonna text you to ask about it.”
“It was my dad’s favorite place,” Hyunjin says. She reaches out and dials the master key code into the number pad. “He and Mama Seul used to work out in here together all the time. We’ve had it locked since he died, but the cleaning staff still, you know, cleans it.”
Hyunjin pushes open the door to the large gym. Mats cover the floor, a few punching bags and speed bags are on one wall, and dumbbells on the opposite side.
“I can’t ask you to let me use this.”
“You didn’t, I offered,” Hyunjin shrugs. “It’s time for me to open up these places, you know? I can’t hide from them forever. Besides, he’d be happy to see the tradition of Kim-Wongs beating Jeons continues on between friends.”
Heejin pauses in the middle of the gym and looks back at Hyunjin.
“Friends?”
“Yeah, like our dads used to be.” Hyunjin walks up to her. “Is that okay?”
Hyunjin knows they’ve talked about this a couple times already, but each time has been heavy with so many conflicting emotions. This time it’s calm, easy, natural. Like opening this door to her past, opened a door that let both the past and present exist together. Exist between her and Heejin; Kai and Seokjin.
Heejin smiles, “It’s more than okay.”
“Perfect, because I’m going to beat your ass,” Hyunjin tosses her sparring gear with a wicked grin. “Gotta keep this tradition alive.”
“Or maybe a new tradition, where the Jeons win.” Heejin straps the gear on and touches gloves with Hyunjin. “I’ve trained my whole life for this.”
“Me, too.” Hyunjin grins past her mouth guard as they circle each other.
It only takes a few minutes to show that there will, indeed, be a new tradition. At least with sparring. Heejin leans over Hyunjin, who’s lying on her back, and offers her a hand.
Once Hyunjin’s back on her feet, she circles back up with Heejin. “Best two outta three.”
Jinsol finds Hyunjin in the gym with Heejin an hour later. They’re both saturated in sweat, laughing on the mats. Jungeun is already sitting on the bench in the gym, her phone in her hand as she scrolls through an app.
“Sol!” Hyunjin jumps up from the mat, wrapping the woman in a sweaty hug. She grins up at her, “Hi.”
“Hi yourself,” Jinsol smiles. “You stink.”
“It’s the smell of success .” Hyunjin takes her hand and pulls her further into the gym.
“Liar! It’s the smell of ‘best seven out of ten’ and still losing!” Heejin yells from her spot on the floor. “Jeons win again!”
“Shut up!” Hyunjin flips her off and turns back to Jinsol. “Do you want to go a round?”
“She’d probably kick your ass, too,” Heejin teases.
Hyunjin throws a glove at her.
Jinsol watches them with a sickening twist in her guts. She isn’t sure what she thought she’d find in the gym when Jungeun had texted her, but this isn’t it. Jungeun eyes Jinsol from across the room, wondering how she is going to take this.
“I’ll take on Heejin,” Jinsol says, breaking up their arguing. “I’ll be a Kim-Wong soon, a win from me would count.”
“She makes points,” Jungeun pipes up from the bench.
Heejin shrugs and Jinsol gathers up the gear she needs from the station in the closet. Hyunjin comes up behind her, wrapping her in a hug.
“Don’t get your pretty face all busted up,” Hyunjin jokes.
“Who says it’ll be me that gets hurt?” Jinsol smirks and Hyunjin locks the headguard into place.
On the mat, Heejin and Jinsol face each other. Heejin is feeling pretty confident. She’s spent most of her life sparring, she knows what she’s doing. She’s fairly certain Jinsol hasn’t spent much time learning MMA in any format. To her, this will be easy.
“Fifty bucks says Heejin wins,” Jungeun leans over to whisper to Hyunjin.
“Alright, fifty on Jinsol, then.” They shake on it, sharing a conspiratory grin.
Heejin and Jinsol touch gloves and slowly begin to circle each other. Jinsol knows Heejin is impatient, quick to lash out. She’s heard it all. It’s hard not to hear the rumors that spread through the circles of nobility. She let’s Heejin come to her.
Her attack comes in the form of a quick, testing jab at Jinsol. It’s dodged easily, but Heejin counters quickly with a hook.
But Jinsol is faster, she dodges it again, using the brief window to let a one-two jab against her stomach. Heejin steps back, arms backup to block. Jinsol does the same.
“I underestimated you,” Heejin says as they circle each other again. “You’re faster than I thought.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Jinsol answers. Her mind flashes to the texts Heejin has been sending Hyunjin. To the night they snuck out together. To finding them cozy in the gym just now laughing together. A deeper anger bursts out of her and she lunges first.
Heejin is fast, too, though. They exchange jabs and hooks. Bodies twisting and moving quickly to dodge each potential blow. Their feet hit the mat steadily, grounding them.
Around they go with Jungeun and Hyunjin watching raptly. Heejin throws an overhand punch, hitting Jinsol on the shoulder. Jinsol counters with a hook to the side followed by a quick jab to the stomach. But Jinsol leaves herself open for a split second too long before blocking, and Heejin takes that advantage.
She moves forward, arms sending a flurry of jabs, crosses, and uppercuts. Most don’t land, but she pushes Jinsol back against the wall, leaving her no room to move.
“Do you give up?” Heejin asks. She doesn’t want to hurt Jinsol, not when this is just for exercise, for fun. But Jinsol’s jealousy gets the best of her. Her frustration with herself and with Heejin boils over. She knows she's trapped and decides to play to her strengths.
Jinsol swings her elbow up and out, bringing it against the side of Heejin’s head. She stumbles back but swings clumsily at Jinsol who takes her arm, placing her in an arm bar. The pressure is light, not enough to hurt, but enough to hold her in place for a minute.
“You know, Hyunjin’s a really good kisser,” Jinsol whispers into Heejin’s ear. “Oh, wait, you wouldn't know that, would you?”
She wants to get under her skin, to rile her up so she can show her who’s in charge. And if Heejin does have feelings for Hyunjin, this can prove it.
What Jinsol doesn’t account for is the flash of Jinsol kissing Jungeun in her mind instead. Heejin doesn’t care if Jinsol has kissed Hyunjin, not anymore anyway. What’s dawned on her in the moment is that Jinsol and Jungeun could have kissed in the past and she has no idea. The thought alone takes her out of her head space, pulls her from the fight, to the image of Jungeun and Jinsol kissing.
In a swift motion, Jinsol releases Heejin from the arm bar, and sweeps her leg out, knocking her to the mat.
Heejin hits the mat with a thud, and stares up at Jinsol in a daze.
“Pay up, Jungeun,” Hyunjin says in the background.
Jinsol’s stomach twists, a new wave of jealousy washing over her, not sure where that came from. She’s never played dirty before, yet the images of Hyunjin laughing with Heejin, being happy with her, pushed her over the edge. Maybe too far though. Heejin looks shaken, and Jinsol is in enough of a right mind to feel guilty. She offers Heejin a hand and an apologetic smile. “Sorry, you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m—” Heejin shakes her head. “Good match.”
“You, too.” They shake hands and walk over to Hyunjin and Jungeun who are arguing over the bet they made.
But Heejin can’t shake the image of Jinsol and Jungeun kissing from her head even though it may never have happened. It’s there in the back of her mind. Despite their conversation earlier. Despite Jinsol very obviously being into Hyunjin.
Heejin worries.
That worry carries all the way through dinner, which is marginally less awkward. To relaxing in her suite. All the way through her dreams.
Heejin wakes in the middle of the night with a gasp. Her heart thunders rapidly against her chest. She sucks air in desperately trying to calm her uneasy mind. But the images are burned into her mind; a nightmare she’s not going to easily forget.
Jinsol’s wicked smirk. Jungeun’s ability to just leave Heejin behind so easily. Having to stand there and watch as Jungeun is swept off her feet by Jinsol to get married. To fall in love. And Heejin is all alone. It’s just her in a field of wilted flowers as the sun goes down and the stars don’t come out. Just a pitchblack night sky and her broken heart.
“Heejin, hey, it’s okay,” Jungeun says softly, her hand gently caressing her head. “It was just a bad dream, you’re safe. I’m right here.”
“Jungeun?” Heejin reaches out, her hand gripping at the fabric of Jungeun’s shirt.
“Yeah, it’s me, Heej,” Jungeun whispers, pulling her closer. She wraps her arm around her waist and rubs small circles on her back.
“Don’t leave me, please,” Heejin begs, voice hoarse. The pain in her chest is unbearable. She clings tighter to Jungeun.
“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
Heejin feels Jungeun place a kiss to the top of her head. Her grip tightens on her waist, their legs tangling together. Heejin let’s herself burrow deeper into the embrace. The rhythmic beating of Jungeun’s heart calms her down. She’s lulled back to sleep by the steady beat and the soothing words Jungeun murmurs sleepily into her hair.
Whether or not Jungeun has kissed Jinsol, Heejin is content to know that she’s the one that gets to fall asleep in her arms and wake up beside her. For now, that’s all that matters.
Notes:
Like I said in the top note, I can't guaruntee when I'll update again. I have a lot of grad school work coming up because of finals. I have a two week break coming up at the end of August before my fall semester starts, so I will hopefully get ch 15 done before then and get ch 16 in the works. we only have four more chapters before the epilogues begin!
Anyway, follow me on twitter if you want to stay up to date with update scheduling, progress, or random shit posting: @zags96
You can also find updates and other info under #loonamttc on twitter
Ask me things here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96
Chapter 15: It's All Fun and Games...
Notes:
aannndddddd we're back! Welcome, this is a spontaneous update, purely because I want to and I'm 100% procrastinating on doing my final paper.
Let's do a quick recap cause Idk when I last updated: Taecyeon and Jessica had a nice little chat, and he gave her the closure she needed to move on. Yerin told the kids at the temporary children's home in Dahlia the good news about the carnival. Yeji told her about how the kids have been mean to her about Yerin not coming back for her, and Yerin does her best to squash those fears, but there's only so much she can do. Jinsol and triplet line went on a day trip to a lake house, which I didn't feel like writing so no one saw what they did but they had fun. Heelip had a fight because Heejin is putting others over Jungeun and then Jungeun saw Jessica summon Jinsol to Valo. Where Jessica forgives Jinsol for what happened with Taec and Kyungri, and then gives Jinsol advice about her friendship with Jungeun and then Lipsoul finally work their shit out. Vivi and Haseul FINALLY KISS AND IT'S GREAT. Hyewon and Yeorry spy on Catfish and Heelip (respectively). Hyewon almost kiss. Catfish ALMOST KISS and then almost kill Hyewon who are hiding in a bush. Heelip make up and decide that they're going to choose each other from now on. 2jin become bros, Jinsol bodies Heejin while they spar by playing mind games. Heejin has a nightmare that Jungeun leaves her for Jinsol, but wakes up to find Jungeun there for her, like she always is. AANDDD that's what you missed on MTTC. Okay, let's get into it.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter Fifteen: It’s All Fun and Games…
The streets of Strelitzia are bustling with locals. Vivi and Hyunjin walk undisturbed through the plaza, stopping to talk to some locals, but otherwise minding their own business. It’s nice to get out of the palace for once. Though they spend their fair share of time in the capital city, they rarely do it together. Between Vivi’s duty as Queen and Hyunjin’s as the Princess, their schedules don’t overlap enough to get this break from the palace.
Today’s a little different though. Vivi has been giving her daughter plenty of space since she invited Heejin and Jungeun to the palace to stay. She knows she had crossed a line. No matter how good her intentions were Hyunjin had been upset with her.
Vivi had asked her daughter to join her on a little outing to the capital to do some shopping. It had been a bit of a ploy to get time without the other girls to finally talk to Hyunjin about what happened. Though, as the afternoon wore on, Vivi continually danced around the topic.
Hyunjin lets her mom drag in and out of stores and listens to her talk about the most trivial of topics. It’s not the best tactic, certainly not the most inconspicuous. Hyunjin is more than aware that with each thing Vivi buys her that her mom is trying to apologize. Doesn’t mean she's going to make it any easier on her mom though. There’s no fun in that.
“What do you think about this one, Hyun?” Vivi holds up a pale green sundress. “You’d look pretty in this.”
“You’ve said that about the last six dresses, Mom.”
“Well, I think you look pretty in anything,” Vivi shrugs.
“Don’t you have to say that, you know, as my mother.” Hyunjin takes the dress from her mom, anyway, slinging it over her arm with the others.
“You may be beautiful, but not everything you wear is. Like that shirt you have on today, what’s even on it?”
“Cacti,” Hyunjin looks down at her white button up. Little cacti scattered on the fabric. “It’s cute. Jinsol got it for me.”
Vivi internally smacks herself, heart leaping into her chest. The mention of her daughter’s fiancée brings the reason she asked Hyunjin out today to the forefront of her mind. Rubbing the back of her neck, she only nods at Hyunjin before digging through the racks again.
Around them, sparse customers move through the boutique. Some send curious glances at the royal family. Irene and Wendy step closer to Vivi and Hyunjin, glances cautiously around the boutique, eyeing each patron with daggers.
Hyunjin watches her mom go through the racks with fervor. Eyebrows furrowed; lips twisted into a frown. She wonders, not for the first time today, when her mom will just bring the topic up. There isn’t any kind of negative feeling left toward Vivi for what happened. She can’t change that her mom invited Heejin and Jungeun to the palace, and while it had initially upset her, the outcome isn’t bad at all. If anything, Hyunjin has her mom to thank for everything working out.
But she won’t tell her that.
Vivi holds up a lavender blouse, meeting Hyunjin’s eyes. “I’m gonna get this for Seulie. I ruined her other one with wine a few nights ago.”
“What were you doing?” Hyunjin asks with a sly grin.
“Uh, we...um…” Vivi blushes and looks away from her daughter’s teasing gaze only to find Irene and Wendy giving her the same looks. “Shut up. All of you. I’m going to buy these—” she takes the pile out of Hyunjin’s arms— “and then we can go get lunch.”
Irene shoots Wendy and Hyunjin a conspiratorial wink before following the Queen.
“Took them long enough,” Hyunjin laughs, looking toward Wendy. “Glad Mama Seul listened to my advice.”
“Which was?” Wendy glances toward Irene, who’s rotating slowly, keeping an eye on all angles.
Their eyes meet for a split second and Irene smiles. Wendy quickly averts her gaze.
Hyunjin catches the interaction. “To stop waiting and do something about it. My mom is stubborn and too duty-bound for her own good. Sometimes you just need to do the selfish thing.”
Wendy doesn’t respond. The words reminding her of someone she knows.
“Alright, let’s go eat,” Vivi walks over, bag in the crook of her arm. She takes Hyunjin’s hand and leads her back out onto the streets. Uhm Jungwoo films them from across the street, her mic in hand and camera crew standing by. Hyunjin and Vivi both wave, but don’t stop to speak to anyone else. Well, Hyunjin would have, but Vivi is moving them through the city at a rapid pass. “How do you feel about brunch?”
“Um, fine?” Hyunjin glances around. Locals watch her mom pull her through the street. Each pointing and smiling at what they think is an endearing mother-daughter moment.
Little do they know that Vivi is shaking internally, and maybe externally, at having to talk to her daughter. Their afternoon has been peaceful, nice. She doesn’t want to ruin it with a heavy conversation or be at the receiving end of Hyunjin’s anger. Not that it wouldn’t be deserved, but Vivi really thought she had been helping provide her daughter with the opportunity to choose with her heart. Instead she overstepped and all she’s been feeling regarding it is an immense amount of guilt and regret.
Vivi walks into a small restaurant with Hyunjin in tow. The host jumps to attention at sight of the Queen and rushes to them. He walks them to the private room at the back of the restaurant, handing them each a menu before bowing out of the room.
“So, what are you going to get?” Vivi opens up the menu, eyes avoiding Hyunjin.
“Mom, you know you can’t avoid talking about what you did forever,” Hyunjin says, tired of waiting. All afternoon she’s been hoping her mom would simply just apologize or explain why she invited Heejin to the palace. It’s clear she had known about how Hyunjin felt toward the other princess, but to take it that far and then refuse to talk about it is childish.
Wendy and Irene glance at each other and slide out of the room to leave the two alone. They stand guard by the door, though they still listen in to the conversation.
“I’m thinking waffles or maybe a quiche…” Vivi continues to prattle on.
“Mom.”
“I wonder what the quiche of the day is.”
“Mom!” Hyunjin drops her hand on the table. Plates and silverware clank. Water spills over in the glasses, wetting the table. Vivi drops the menu at the noise and finally looks at her daughter.
“Honey, please, don’t yell in public,” Vivi waves Irene away.
“Stop ignoring me. You invited me out today,” Hyunjin points out. “I know it’s because you finally want to talk about why you went behind my back and brought Heejin to Fiore.”
Vivi holds her daughter’s gaze steadily.
“Your Majesty, Your Highness, are you ready to order?” The waiter asks, walking into the room. He stops, glancing between the two women, but never dropping his smile.
“Can we have a few minutes, please?” Vivi smiles politely at him. “I’ll have my guard find you when we’re ready.”
“Of course,” he bows again and leaves the room.
Hyunjin watches her mom fiddle with the silverware on the table before looking back at her. Tension in the room rising with each minute Vivi waits to speak.
“None of that diplomatic talk either, Mom.”
“I wasn’t going to,” Vivi sighs. “I know I shouldn’t have invited Princess Heejin to the palace, especially because she’s engaged, but also because it’s none of my business. Haseul told me not to meddle—”
“You should’ve listened to Mama Seul.”
Vivi smiles softly at the nickname. “I just wanted you to be happy and choose with your heart, not with your crown.”
“Do you not trust me to do that without you interfering?”
“Of course, I do!” Vivi looks taken aback. “I—You have always been incredibly selfless. You would put my needs before yours or anyone’s needs for that matter. You’re like your father in that way. I put the crown first my whole life, I didn’t want you to make the same mistake.”
Hyunjin settles into her seat, her mom’s sincerity washing over her. Over the years, she’s seen her mom choose the crown. Before Haseul. Before Hyunjin sometimes even. And while Hyunjin understood her mom’s motives behind those actions, never thought her mom would go to the other side of the extreme. To place the needs of Hyunjin above the posterity of the crown. A scandal would surely have occurred had Hyunjin continue to pursue an engaged Princess from another country. An heir to the throne Princess no less.
“I was upset with you,” Hyunjin says. “When it first happened, it really felt like you didn’t trust my judgment or decision making.”
“No, no, Hyunnie, not at all,” Vivi leans forward, eyes full of regret. “I shouldn’t have done it, I never meant to make you feel that way, and I’m so sorry that I did. I trust you, of course I trust you. You have such a level head and a kind heart, I know that.”
“It hurt at first, but...it turned out for the better,” Hyunjin smiles at her mom.
“Really now?” Vivi begins to grin.
“Don’t go getting a big head about it now. I won’t be as forgiving if you go behind my back again, Mom.”
Vivi puts her hands up. “So, it turned out okay?”
“Heejin and I are friends now, only friends. We’ll keep the Kim-Wong and Jeon rivalry going.”
“Kai and Seokjin were quite the pair,” Vivi laughs with her. “I’m glad you found a friend in her. Where does that leave you and Jinsol?”
Hyunjin blushes and looks away, finding the pattern on the plate in front of her very interesting.
“Hyunnie…” Vivi pokes her hand, a knowing smile on her lips.
“Hmm?” Hyunjin picks up the menu. “I think I’ll get the waffles, too.”
“You like her, don’t you?”
“Waffles and some fruit. Yeah, that sounds good.” Hyunjin nods to herself, ignoring her mom. “Oh, and a coffee.”
“Well, you two are very cute together,” Vivi reaches out and lowers Hyunjin’s menu. “I’m happy for you, that you get a chance at real love.”
“Mom,” Hyunjin whines, her blush intensifying.
“I’m done! I’m done,” Vivi smiles once more at Hyunjin before calling Irene to get the waiter. “Let’s eat then, shall we?”
After they order, Hyunjin’s blush is finally gone and she can look at her mom without the fear of more teasing to come.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“I love you, Sweetie. As long as you’re happy, so am I.”
“So...you and Mama Seul?” Hyunjin grins.
Vivi tosses a grape from her plate at her daughter with a strangled laugh. Hyunjin lets the conversation slide away. She knows she can get more information from Hyejoo later on. Instead, they talk about the upcoming carnival in Valo for the children’s home, both excited to get out of Fiore for a bit and enjoy a day having unadulterated fun.
A few days later, in Valo, Jessica stands in front of an assembly of Royalty and Members of Parliament from across the continent. To say it’s daunting is an understatement, but Jessica doesn’t waver as she explains the current situation in a southern Valon province.
“The province is under strict lockdown guidelines,” Jessica says, switching to another slide in her presentation. “We’ve provided as much aid as we can to the people living in that province, but our resources only go so far. We’re not sure what caused this disease, nor do we have the power or resources to create the vaccine. I’m asking you all to aid in this matter before it spreads further into your regions.”
Jessica slowly makes eye contact with each individual in the room. From the Queen Moon Hyuna and her heir, Princess Dami, across to Queen Vivi and Princess Hyunjin, to Queen Sooyoung and Princess Heejin, lastly catching the gaze of Queen Kyungri and King Taecyeon. Each regards her neutrally. Slow nods come from the Head of each respective parliament.
One by one, the rulers of the country offer what they can to Jessica to help the province. From protective equipment, to doctors, to scientists to create a vaccine. They work diligently, knowing that they are pressed for time before the disease spreads further and out of control.
The young heirs are active in the discussion, pointing out issues that their parents overlook. Hyunjin, Heejin, and Dami all share supportive glances with each other when one speaks. Encouraging their efforts and supporting them when the older adults in the room attempt to belittle them.
Their mothers and Sooyoung are quick to jump into their defense as well, though they find that the young heirs are able to handle the vultures that are the Head of Parliament. Even Jessica is impressed at the grace that the young heirs are handling the situation. Though her own anxiety surrounding the issue is resting heavily in her chest, she continues to have that diplomatic smile on her face listening to the ideas and offers.
By the end of the meeting, they’re all exhausted.
“Thank you all for coming today, I appreciate the assistance.” Jessica stands, ready to dismiss everyone from the table.
“Should have brought this to us sooner,” Queen Hyuna says, a distasteful look in her eyes. Everyone at the table looks between the two Queens tensely.
“I am aware,” Jessica carefully regards Hyuna. “However, the disease has not spread, and we should be focusing our energy on moving forward with our plan.”
Hyun scoffs, “You left us all vulnerable to this for too long. I am only complying because I have a duty to protect my people, something you somehow forgot to do.”
Silence fills the room. Jessica clenches her jaw. The verbal assault is not unwarranted but entirely not productive at the moment. She catches Taecyeon’s gaze, he looks ready to interject when another voice chimes in.
Vivi clears her throat, leveling a cold gaze at Hyuna. “Queen Jessica has learned from her mistake. Belaboring the point to appear as superior to those in this room is not a good look, Queen Hyuna. You’d do well in having some humility.”
No one moves. Others are certainly thinking the same thing. Even Dami offers her mother no assistance in the matter. Really, though, no one dares to go against Vivi. She is the Queen of the most wealthy and powerful country on the continent, let alone in the world. She has alliances with Lantana, Hyssop, and Valo. Not to mention the marriage to come that solidifies their alliance between Valo and Fiore.
Hyuna knows better than to go against Vivi. The Lantana Queen stares at Vivi for the briefest of moments before nodding with a tight-lipped smile.
“We will do what we can to help,” Sooyoung speaks up, addressing Jessica. There are murmurs of agreement around the table. Jessica chooses this time to officially call the meeting to an end.
Dignitaries take time to mill around the conference room in the palace, catching up with each other and making their long trips somewhat worth the long flights.
“You look lighter.”
Jessica whirls around and finds Taecyeon standing in front of her. Behind him, Kyungri talks with Hyuna and Dami. She smiles over at them before continuing her conversation.
“I took your advice,” she shrugs.
“Really?” he smirks. “Finally deciding your happiness is important too?”
“Yeah,” Jessica catches sight of Sunny slinking out of the conference room and smiles, “something like that. Thank you for talking some sense into me.”
Taecyeon wraps her in a tight embrace, laughing good naturedly. “What are best friends for?”
Jessica pushes him away just as Kyungri pops up, laying a hand on his bicep.
“Your Majesty,” she smiles, “I hate to break up this reunion, but we gotta get going if we want to tuck Yuju into bed.”
“Of course,” Jessica nods. “Thank you again for your help. Hopefully, we can meet again under more favorable circumstances.”
“You’ll have to attend our charity auction later in the year,” Kyungri says.
“I would love to. Have a safe flight.”
“Bye Jessica, we’ll be in touch,” Taecyeon takes his wife’s hand. Jessica watches them go with a smile.
In another hall in the Valo palace, Krystal sits with Jungeun and Prime Minister Joy. It’s been a few weeks since Jungeun received a phone call from Krystal asking for her help with creating a new law for Valo. As out of the blue the call had been, Krystal’s idea had been a long time coming. For a country as progressive as Valo, Jungeun is surprised that law like this hasn’t been introduced before.
Years of everyone watching Jessica struggle and lash out at those around her because of the pressure to rule brought them to this point. To finally do something about it. While it’s something that should have happened earlier, Jungeun is relieved to see something being done about it now. She’s also excited to be a part of a historic moment within Valo. Beyond Valo even.
Krystal and Jungeun’s weeks of collaboration and long nights have led to this moment with Prime Minister Joy. All the late-night conversations on the phone and last-minute flights to work together coming to fruition right now.
“I have to say,” Joy sets the packet down and regards them thoughtfully, “a co-rule law is exactly what we need. This is brilliant, really.”
Krystal and Jungeun exchange giddy smiles.
“We agree. I think we all know how great of a Queen Jessica is, but having the weight of the country resting solely on her shoulders is too much to ask any one person to handle,” Krystal says.
Joy nods, “I agree. Instating a co-rule law would help the country run efficiently and lessen the burden for the monarch. However, as it is right now, it would not pass.”
Krystal’s stomach drops. “Do you have suggestions to improve it?”
“This law needs to pass, Joy,” Jungeun adds.
“As the law is proposed now, anyone that the monarch or heir apparent chooses can become their co-ruler. Parliament isn’t going to like the idea of someone without status taking that role,” Joy skims the law again.
“There’s nothing in current law that says someone without status can’t be married into the royal family, or become a ruler,” Jungeun says. “I read through all the current laws and regulations.”
“You’re right,” Joy smiles proudly. “However, that doesn’t mean that Parliament will be any more willing to pass a law that explicitly allows anyone to be a monarch. Your best bet to make this law pass is to place specificity on it.”
“So, anyone of nobility or diplomatic status can be appointed co-ruler?” Krystal asks, pen hovering over her notebook.
“Precisely.” Joy points to another section. “And here, there’s no term limit for them.”
“They’d basically be monarchy, why would they need a term limit?” Jungeun sifts through the pages to find the passage. “That defeats the purpose.”
“Not entirely. Say the co-ruler, in this instance, is you, Princess Krystal. You are of royal lineage, there would be no need for a term limit for you, as you’ve been born and raised into this role. However, if you were chosen, Jungeun, while you have noble status, you may not be suitable for a lifelong commitment to the throne. Instating a term limit would benefit the royal family in preserving their rule, so to speak. If Jessica decided you were no longer on the same page as her, she as Queen can decide to go in another direction.”
“Okay, but we can’t do that now as the royal family. We can’t suddenly get rid of our partner if we don’t agree,” Krystal looks at the Prime Minister incredulously.
“That’s my point, that doesn’t currently exist, and that would appeal to some members of parliament. Seeing that there is a possibility of getting rid of a ruler that is not doing enough isn’t possible now.”
“What if,” Jungeun chimes in, “instead of a term limit, we have a yearly review or something of that sort. To assess the Parliament’s view of the co-ruler and the current monarch’s view as well.”
Joy grins, “How I’ve missed you, Jungeun. That’s perfect, the Parliament would eat that up, and it gives the monarch a say as well.”
Jungeun blushes under the praise. “With those changes, would this law pass?”
“I don’t see why not,” Joy leans back in her set, steepling her fingers. “It’s progressive, gives Parliament a voice, not that they don’t already have a lot of say, but it’ll feed their ego. It’ll fill their need to continue to be more progressive than other countries. Plus, it gives Jessica a break, and we all know she deserves that.”
Jungeun and Krystal both nod in agreement. They’ve seen how tense Jessica has been, how much has been weighing on her. Though, lately, Krystal has noticed her sister smiling more, leaving her office earlier, and coming in later. Maybe her sister has been relaxing more than she’s letting on.
“All you have to do is get Jessica to agree, Krystal.” Jungeun can’t help the laugh that falls from her lips. Even Joy smiles a little at that.
“I’ll deal with it,” Krystal smiles good naturedly. As stubborn as her sister is, Krystal knows Jessica will cave when she realizes how much more time she’ll have to recuperate. “She’s been carrying this on her own for too long.”
“She is a phenomenal Queen, but we all need a little help sometimes,” Joy stands and shakes their hands. “Jungeun, it was great seeing you again, and congratulations on your engagement, by the way. You and Princess Heejin make a beautiful couple.”
“Oh, um, I...thank you, Joy,” Jungeun stammers.
“I’m looking forward to the wedding.” Joy turns to Krystal, “Have the revised version sent to me by the end of the month. I’ll get it to the floor at the next meeting.”
“Thank you,” Krystal nods and opens the door for Joy. The Prime Minister sweeps out of the room gracefully, leaving two very excited women behind.
“You did it!” Jungeun cheers, throwing herself into Krystal arms.
“We did it,” Krystal laughs, hugging her back. They step back, and Krystal looks at the younger woman seriously. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Or Bora’s rambling,” Jungeun grins, recalling the long-winded explanation Krystal gave her over the phone when she had asked for her help. “Are you two dating yet?”
Krystal groans and pushes Jungeun. “You’re worse than my sisters.”
“I’ll take that as a no. Come on, just make it official. We’ve all seen you two flirt for so long.”
“Stop it, I didn’t meddle with you and Jinsol!” Krystal’s eyes widen, she opens her mouth ready to backtrack when Jungeun laughs.
“Maybe you should’ve.” Jungeun smiles softly at her, not offended in the slightest at Krystal’s words. She knows she waited too long to be with Jinsol, but things change, people move on, and she can’t say that she’s entirely too upset with how everything panned out. She moves past Krystal, regarding her seriously. “Bora won’t wait forever.”
Jungeun excuses herself after that. She has to go find Queen Vivi, Hyunjin, and Heejin since they all flew into Valo together.
Krystal watches the door shut behind her, mind racing to process what Jungeun had said. Bora wouldn’t wait forever. How long has she even been waiting now? It’s not like Krystal has been oblivious to Bora’s feelings toward her, or her feelings toward Bora. They’re obvious to just about anyone that looks. She’s not even sure why she hasn’t done anything about her feelings yet.
It’s not fear, she’s never been afraid of what she feels for Bora. Maybe in the beginning she second guessed Bora’s flirtation, the woman flirts with anything that moves, but Krystal doesn’t think twice about it now. At the end of the day, she’s the one who falls asleep in her arms.
Krystal knows Bora will choose her, too. There’s no doubt in her mind. But Jungeun has planted that seed in her head that keeping their relationship ambiguous might lead her to losing Bora. That’s the last thing she wants.
Waiting any longer would be stupid. She’s seen Jinsol and Jessica lose the people they love by not acting on their feelings. That’s a fate she doesn’t want for herself. If there’s anything her sister's misfortunes have taught her is that she can’t wait for what she wants. She has to go for it.
Krystal finds Bora in her room on the main floor of the palace. She sits on her bed, laptop open with a movie playing on the screen. The ruckus Krystal makes barging into the room brings her attention away from the screen. A lovestruck smile graces her lips when she sees Krystal.
“Hey, how was your meeting?” Bora slides to the end of her bed, closing the laptop next to her.
“Good, it was good,” Krystal pants, rubbing her palms on her pant legs.
Bora smirks, eyes twinkling as she teases her, “Came to look at something great afterwards, huh?”
“I love you.” Krystal’s eyes widen after the words abruptly fall from her lips.
“What?”
“I—that came out wrong.”
“So, you don’t love me?” Bora quirks a brow. She sits at the edge of her bed, head propped up on her palm, looking up at Krystal curiously.
“No! I do!” Krystal shakes her head trying to clear her thoughts. This is not going at all how she envisioned it to go when she was walking over her. It’s supposed to be sweet, not whatever this mess is that it turned into. She runs a hand through her hair, taking a deep breath, before steadying her gaze on Bora. “I should’ve planned my words better before coming here. This is such a mess.”
“You’re always a mess,” Bora smiles.
Krystal relaxes at the jest. It’s just Bora. Bora who teases her and pushes her buttons all the time but gives her the softest smiles and gentlest touches. Bora who has been by her side for years now, long before anything really started to bloom between them. Just Bora. Her Bora.
“I don’t want to lose my chance with you,” Krystal says, walking closer to her. “My sisters were too late with the people they loved, and I don’t….You make me laugh, and you keep me on my toes, and you always look out for me. In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never treated me as anything other than Krystal.”
“That is your name,” Bora says, though the teasing gaze in her eyes long gone. Replaced by something softer, something that is only reserved for Krystal.
“I should’ve said this sooner, but I love you, Bora. So much.”
Bora stands and takes her hands, “I love you, too.”
Krystal’s heart flutters, “you do?”
“I thought it was obvious.”
“I can be a little dense,” Krystal smiles. Bora laughs, brushing her fingers along Krystal’s knuckles.
“You think too much.”
They gravitate closer to each other.
“I love you,” Krystal repeats. “And I’m not going to overthink this.” She leans in to kiss Bora but pauses.
“Stop thinking and just kiss me.” Bora doesn’t wait for her, instead tugging Krystal down into a searing kiss. She had waited long enough for this moment, but she’s thankful she didn't have to wait a second more.
Back with the other nobility, Heejin stands across the room from the Queens with Hyunjin. They’ve been talking about the upcoming carnival, guessing on what rides are going to be there because Yerin won’t spill the details to Jinsol. Hyunjin is going on about all the rides she hopes will be there. She’s never been to a carnival before since Fiore has never held one and she rarely went outside the capital unless it had been for school.
Heejin listens, laughing at the right parts and nodding to others, as Hyunjin details her exact plan on how she’d win at bumper cars. Heejin had tried to tell her that there really is no winning in bumper cars, but Hyunjin’s enthusiasm drowned her out.
Behind her, Heejin can hear the voices of Lord Jackson and Lord Wooyoung. Hairs on the back of her neck rise as she tunes into their conversation at the sound of her name.
Hyunjin continues to ramble on about bumper cars, not realizing that Heejin has checked out of their conversation.
“Why is Princess Heejin even here? She had nothing to offer other than vague support for the other Princesses,” Lord Wooyoung remarks.
Heejin’s stomach twists. Red hot shame burning her cheeks.
“Does she ever have anything to offer?” Lord Jackson chuckles drily. “And that fiancée of hers has nothing to give either.”
Her fists curl at her sides, feet planted firmly on the ground to stop herself from turning around; from screaming at them. Hyunjin still hasn’t noticed, if she has, she continues to prattle on as if nothing is happening. As if to provide some semblance of a distraction. It isn’t working.
“Princess Heejin doesn’t do anything right, how can we expect her to do well as Queen?” Lord Wooyoung says. “They should give the crown to a new family. One that isn’t going to ruin our country.”
“I’m not sure where Queen Sunmi and King Seokjin went wrong when raising her,” Lord Jackson sighs, though it sounds more malicious than resigned. “Queen Sooyoung did a disservice to her sister taking over guardianship and Queen Regency. We should have shot down her deal when we had the chance.”
Heejin has half a mind to turn around and punch Lord Jackson in his smug face. She wants to, there isn’t anything stopping her. They already think so ill of her, what’s the point of keeping the facade going any longer? Maybe they’d learn their lesson in talking so poorly around her.
Just as she’s about to turn around and show him what she does in her spare time, the door to the conference room opens. Heejin’s fists relax at the sight of Jungeun walking toward her, a triumphant smile on her face. Her stomach unknots just a little bit and all thoughts of showing Lord Jackson and Lord Wooyoung how good her cross-hook is dissipates.
A Princess shouldn’t punch someone. All she can do is take a deep breath and take it in strides. She brushes her finger along the stem of the rose necklace that rests on her collarbone.
Jungeun sees the look in her eyes, notices the familiar tick of Heejin’s and then the two men that stand behind her. The pieces click into place.
“Heejin,” Jungeun says softly, taking her shaking hand in hers. “You want to get some air?”
“Yes, sorry, excuse me, Hyun. We’ll meet you at the car,” Heejin forces a smile. Hyunjin waves her off and lets them go, noticing how quick Jungeun had been to notices Heejin’s distress. Something she didn’t pick up on and she’s standing right in front of her. She smiles at the couple as Jungeun guides Heejin out the door with a hand on her lower back.
Hyunjin goes to find her mom, who’s talking with Queen Jessica in the middle of the room.
“We’d love to join you,” Vivi says, then smiles wider when she sees her daughter. “Hyunnie, Jessica has invited us to their mountain home in Dahlia in a few weeks, before our Blooming Flower party. Isn’t that exciting?”
Hyunjin nods. They’ve yet to have a proper ‘almost-family’ event, so she’s certain that’s what this is going to be.
“We’ll be having a BBQ of sorts. You’re more than welcome to bring friends, or significant others,” Jessica eyes Vivi hopefully.
“Haseul would love to come, I’m sure of it.”
“Can Hyejoo and Yerim come, too?” Hyunjin asks hopefully. “They’re basically family.”
“The more the merrier,” Jessica smiles. “I’m excited to get to know you all better. Away from the stuffiness of nobility.”
“We could all use a little break,” Vivi agrees. It takes a few more minutes of pleasantries before they are on their way to their car waiting for them out front. Hyunjin rushes in front of her mom, more than ready to go home. It’s a short flight back to Fiore, but Hyunjin still wants it to go by even faster. “You’ll be home soon enough; you don’t need to run.”
“I know that,” Hyunjin pouts as they exit the palace.
“Jinsol will still be there when we get back, no matter how long it takes.”
“That’s not—” Hyunjin grumbles, cheeks tinging pink.
“Mhmm, you’re not fooling anyone,” Vivi sings and slides into the car, thanking Irene as she does. Hyunjin begrudgingly follows after her mom with Irene and Wendy taking the front seats.
In the car behind them, Heejin and Jungeun sit in silence. Sunlight peaks through the tinted windows and idle chatter from the front seat breaks the quiet around them. Heejin doesn’t mind. She likes to hear Jungkook and Mingyu argue back and forth about sports. It’s entertaining, keeps her mind from drifting to the unpleasant words of the Lords in the palace.
Heejin’s usual mask of neutrality has fallen back into place despite Jungeun’s best efforts. It’s best left alone until they are back in Fiore in their own room.
So, Jungeun does what she always does for Heejin, offering her a hand to hold and a comfortable silence. Heejin’s head falls onto her shoulder as she leans into Jungeun’s side. Her hand tightening her grip on Jungeun’s.
Jungeun kisses her head and she can feel Heejin’s body relaxing further into her. Not a moment later, the car begins to roll out of the driveway, and with each passing mile, Heejin becomes more at ease.
They make it back to Fiore by dinner time. All of them are far too tired for a formal meal, instead opting for their food to be sent up to their suites. It takes Hyunjin a minute before she’s bolting up the stairs to find Jinsol with her mom yelling after her to remember their meeting in the morning.
Jungeun and Heejin bid a goodnight to Vivi before retiring to their own suite. They go about their routines, getting changed for bed and eating their dinner in relative silence. Jungeun is kind of hoping Heejin will bring the conversation up herself, but as the hours pass, she knows that’s not going to happen.
Maybe it had been nothing. Maybe Jungeun is reading too much into the pained look on Heejin’s face when she entered the conference room. But then again, she knows Heejin, knows that the quieter she is the more she’s keeping to herself. That every time she runs her fingers over the rose necklace that she’s overthinking everything that she’s holding inside. Jungeun knows her, and she’s worrying about her.
There’s only so much Heejin can keep inside before she really explodes. Honestly, Jungeun wants her to explode. There had been that moment at her parent’s estate when Heejin really opened up and let Jungeun in.
“You’ve been quiet.” Jungeun finally says as she’s settling into bed. Heejin is standing next to the closet, riffling through her clothes to pick out what she’ll wear in the morning.
“I’m just tired.”
“Liar.”
Heejin pauses, hands on a hanger, and peers over her shoulder at Jungeun. She sighs and shakes her head. Carefully, she recounts the details of what Lord Jackson and Lord Wooyoung had said about her. It’s nothing new to Heejin. She’s heard time and time again from various people that she isn’t going to be a good Queen. That’s she’s unfit and incapable.
Even though she’s heard it before, even though she knows that maybe she isn’t worthy of the crown, her hands still shake, and her anger gets the best of her in the moment. But right now, as she explains it again to Jungeun, she is calm. Beyond calm. She’s detached from the situation in entirety and Jungeun notices.
There’s a chill to the words Heejin is saying, as if it wasn’t even her that heard them. As if those men were not talking shit about her behind her back.
Words so harsh, Jungeun wants to run to Statera and rip them a new one. She sits up in bed instead and wonders how the hell Heejin remains so emotionless even when they are alone; when she can finally be free to feel with reckless abandon.
“How can you talk about it so calmly?”
“I can’t let them control me or define me,” Heejin shrugs and goes back to looking for an outfit. Her words are rehearsed. Jungeun’s heard them a million and one times.
She watches Heejin for a moment, replays her words over in her head. This is exactly who Heejin appeared to be before Jungeun really knew her. Cold, calculated, unfeeling toward anything and everyone. If Jungeun didn’t know any better, she would think this is exactly who Heejin is.
But then she sees her hands shake and the hanger misses the pole and falls to the ground. Heejin curses under her breath and tries to place it back in the closet.
“They don’t define you, but it’s okay to be upset about what they said,” Jungeun says, watching her fiancée carefully.
“I need to show them that I can remain calm in any situation,” Heejin sighs. “I never had control over my emotions before, now I do.”
“But they do know that. They all know that. Heej, when I first met you, I expected the apathetic woman you come across to be in the news. You’re intimidating and seemingly callous. That’s what your people see. That’s what parliament is worried about.”
Heejin freezes. The hanger in her handshakes in her tight grip. Her heart is in her throat, thumping rapidly. With each word Jungeun slings at her, her gut twists, and twists. Each part of her begs her to say something, anything, to squash the long-repressed panic and anguish that’s rising in her.
“You’re so worried about how you might come across as too emotional that now—now you’re basically a robot,” Jungeun points out with exasperation. “You walk around with this mask of neutrality as if nothing bothers you. You’re unreachable, Heej. No one sees you as a person. Not your people, not parliament, hell, I don’t even know if your family sees you as a person. You put up this front and-and act like this shell of a person. Damn it, Heejin. I know you; I know you’re more than that. I-I see it. You let me see it, but they—no one else gets to see how incredibly empathetic and kind you are.”
Jungeun had been carefully watching Heejin as she spoke. Watching as her fists tightened around the hanger with each nerve Jungeun hit. That’s what she wants. She wants to hit every button, to point out everything that she knows Heejin sees in herself too. But Heejin won’t ever speak it, not on her own. She’s spent so long trying to repress those kinds of emotions that they are almost impossible for her to bring to the surface without pushing them away as soon as she feels them. But this time—this time Jungeun pushes her knowing that if Heejin doesn’t hit her breaking point now, she may hit it at a completely inappropriate time.
Heejin hates it. Hates how each word Jungeun throws her way hurts more than the last. She knows what Jungeun’s doing. Her and Somi do it to each other when they’re sparring. Pulling the other out by pointing out their fears. It’s a terrible mind game, one that always hurts both of them.
It’s like when her and Somi were kids, when Heejin first heard the words that she needs to control her emotions. Somi poked and poked and poked until—snap.
“I have never thought I deserved to be Queen,” Heejin says, voice eerily quiet. “That’s why I never argue with those members of parliament. I know I’m not worthy of it.”
She swallows thickly and turns to face Jungeun, hanger still in hand. Her voice begins to shake as she speaks, “Everything I do is wrong. I’m too emotional, too levelheaded, too calm. Too much this. Not enough of that. No matter what I do I’m not good enough. Strong enough. Emotional enough. Every day of my life I have heard one thing or another from my parents, from my aunt, from the stupid fucking members of parliament. Focus on the details. Don’t be too sharp. Don’t be too weak. What the hell am I even supposed to be? I’m so fucking sick of it!”
That’s when the dam breaks. Jungeun watches in silence as the hanger in Heejin’s hand snaps. Tears stream down her face as she lets out a strangled yell, throwing the hanger across the room. Heejin collapses against the wall and Jungeun is quick to move toward her. She’s unphased by the reaction; it’s been a long time coming.
Heejin angrily runs her hands through her hair several times before groaning. She takes a deep breath but doesn’t do anything to stop the rush of emotions that are spilling out of her.
“I’m so-so tired of feeling like this. Like I’m nothing. Like I’ll never amount to the expectations people have me; that my parents had of me. I always wonder what they’d think, if this is how they pictured me being Queen, if they’d be proud of who I’ve become. Sometimes I don’t think they would be. It’s all I’ve ever wanted,” Heejin sniffles, voice scratchy from yelling. “I only ever wanted to make them proud, to do justice to their legacy and now—Do you know what it’s like to try your best and have it not matter? That you never get any closer to what people want from you? I have worked my whole life to become the best Queen possible and just when the crown is within reach….I feel like I’m going to lose it, Eun. I can’t lose it. It’s all I have left.”
Jungeun takes Heejin’s hand, running her finger up and down the back of her hand. She steadies her own breathing and waits until she feels Heejin do the same before speaking.
“You won’t,” she says. “So, a couple grumpy old men think you suck. Fuck them. You’ve shown me, your family, and your people that you are capable of change. Now show them you can keep it up. Don’t let those assholes twist your narrative into something ugly. You are going to make your parents so proud—I’m sure they are already proud of how much you’ve grown.”
“You think so?” Heejin peers over at Jungeun through wet lashes.
“I do, and I know you’re going to continue their legacy with so much grace,” Jungeun smiles and brushes a tear off Heejin’s cheek. “You know who you are and who they were, carry that forward. But it’s not all you have left, you know, that right? You have me, and I promise you will never lose me. I believe in you, Heejin, and I’ll be here to hold you up when you need it.”
Heejin falls into Jungeun’s arms, a soft sob echoing in the quiet room.
“Thank you,” Heejin says, “for always being here for me. I don’t think I could do this without you.” She lifts her head, locking eyes with Jungeun.
“I know you could,” Jungeun says sincerely.
“I don’t want to do this without you,” Heejin corrects herself. There’s something in her eyes, in her voice, that makes Jungeun’s heart leap in her chest. She can’t look away. A spark of tension igniting between them.
She cups Heejin’s face delicately, “I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.”
Heejin feels it too, this pull between them that she can’t resist. Unlike all the times before, where she pushes every foreign or uncomfortable feeling away, she embraces it. She sits in and lets herself fall into the comfort of Jungeun’s arms. Jungeun who holds her tighter, who whispers gentle reassurances in her ears, who has been there time and time again.
Heejin falls.
Two weeks later, the carnival is in full swing in the capital of Valo. With the help of the neighboring countries, the southern region of Valo had able to contain and mostly recover from the disease that had been running rampant. A few outlying regions had been hit by the disease as well, though the response teams had been able to contain it before it went further. Jessica had been more than relieved to hear that her country is mending and healing. The last thing she wanted was for things to get worse. Now, today, they can all enjoy a safe and fun-filled day at the charity carnival.
Rides and booths fill the field with bright colors and cheerful chatter. People from all over Clara flock to the charity carnival for the children’s home. Nobility from all the neighboring regions join in as well, opening their wallets and treasuries for the cause. Dressed down and fitting in with the locals around them, the nobles unwind for the day, enjoying greasy food and an overindulging on sweets.
Down the middle of the field sits all the food trucks and game booths in a line facing each other. Yerin had been rushing around the field all morning making sure everything was in working condition, but the moment the Clara Children’s Home kids rushed off the bus at the entrance of the field, Jessica graciously took over. Well, Jessica actually snatched the clipboard and walkie-talkie from Yerin and pushed her toward the kids with a vague threat about having fun “or else.”
Seulgi and the kids rush to her with bright smiles. Each kid yelling about the rides they want to go on and the food they can’t wait to tree. It’s a chaotic mess of noise and kids grabbing for her attention. Seulgi is quick to lay the rules on the kids, though.
“Like I said on the bus, you need to be with two others from the home and check in with me every hour, so I know you’re all safe. I’ll be by the food trucks all day, okay?” Seulgi points toward a shaded cluster of tables.
“Yes Ma’am,” the kids say in unison before grabbing their buddies.
“Don’t worry, Seulgi, I have guards placed around the field to keep an eye on the kids,” Yerin says. “Please enjoy yourself, too.”
“I will, trust me,” Seulgi pulls out a book and a pair of headphones before walking away. The kids take that as their sign they can go play and dash off with their buddies. Only Yeji remains from the cluster of kids. Her hair isn’t in its usual pigtails and her smile brighter than ever.
“You look excited, Yeji,” Yerin smiles.
“I get to spend all day with you! And beat you at all the games.” She bounces on her toes and then takes Yerin’s hand. “Let’s go.”
Before Yerin can react, Yeji is yanking her across the field toward the game booths. They pass by Jessica, Sunny, Krystal, and Bora who all laugh at her. All Yerin can do is stick her tongue out and continue to follow after the little girl. She’d follow her anywhere.
Around them, the other kids rush by, calling for Yeji to join them on the rides, but she waves them off. They tease her for being stuck to Princess Yerin’s side and all Yeji does is laugh. It’s the most carefree Yerin has seen her. More carefree than she’s seen any of these kids, really. The palace in Dahlia had been so stuffy, very upper-crust, they tip-toed around the building afraid to ruin anything. In the children’s home, the building had nearly fallen apart, they had to tip-toe around it for different reasons. Nothing has come easily for these kids, and Yerin’s heart is full watching their smiles widen with each treat they try and every ride they go on.
Everyone else that attends the carnival has to pay for tickets and food, it's the only way to make the profit they need to renovate the home. There is a donations box, but Yerin doesn’t expect much from that. But for the kids of the children’s home, she gave the staff explicit instructions that they can have whatever they want, go on whatever rides they want (within safety reasons, of course), and that she would cover them with her own money.
Today, they’re just kids at a carnival. That’s all she wants for them.
Especially Yeji, who is sitting next to her at the water gun booth trying to make her stuffed animal reach the top of the pedestal first. She aims the gun at the target with so much care, trying to get the stream in the center the whole time. Yerin misses the target for a few seconds letting her stuffed animal come in after Yeji’s.
“And the little miss in lane one with the cheetah wins!” The staff announces through the microphone. Yerin turns happily to Yeji who huffs and crosses her arms.
“What? You won!” Yerin grins, looking nervously at the little girl.
“You’re letting me,” Yeji pouts. “I want to win fair and square. We’re playing again.” Yeji doesn’t leave it up for debate and the staff member takes her queue, resetting the game for them. Yerin takes a minute to look at her, this strong and determined kid who has been through so much. Who’s been dragged through the system, has had so many people disappoint her, who never gets to win. Yet here she is demanding it be fair.
“Alright, but I’m not holding back,” Yerin grins and takes a hold of the water gun again. This time, Yerin easily beats Yeji, releasing the water gun with a triumphant yell. Yeji joins in the cheering not a moment later, leaping off her stool to wrap Yerin in a hug.
“You won!” Yeji cheers.
“Told you I wouldn’t hold back.”
“Or...I let you win,” Yeji grins and then begs Yerin to get the dragon stuffed animal prize so she can have it. Yerin doesn’t hesitate to get it for her, even if that means sliding the booth staff member a couple extra bucks to make sure she can make it happen.
Their afternoon consists of more games than Yerin can count, and even more prizes than either of them can carry between them. When their arms get too full to carry the prizes, Yeji starts to hand them out to other kids they come across. Not only the ones that she lives with in the children’s home, but other local kids as well. Each kid runs off with a bigger smile than they appeared with.
“Are you going to keep any for yourself?” Yerin asks as they come up to a group of Yeji’s friends. Lena, Kangmin, and Nako stand in line for cotton candy while Beomgyu and Taehyun play tag behind them. Yeji looks between them and Yerin.
“No, I don’t need them,” Yeji shrugs. “It made them happy.”
Yerin glances at Yeji and smiles. She ruffles her hair, “You’re a good kid.”
Yeji pushes her hand away with a whine. She tries to ruffle Yerin’s hair, jumping up repeatedly, but never reaching her head. “You’re a good grown up.”
“Yeji! Play tag with us!” Taehyun calls her over.
Yeji looks up to Yerin, as if asking for permission.
“Go ahead, I’ll be right here,” she smiles and Yeji darts over to her friends.
Yerin takes the time to check on the carnival. She shoots her sister a text, only to receive a response telling her to ‘“Chill out.” Yerin is pretty sure that it isn’t actually a message from Jessica unless someone body swapped with her and replaced her with a more relaxed individual. Which is possible. Though, it’s probably just Sunny using Jessica’s phone.
Gleeful screams fill the air and Yerin looks up to find the kids in an intense game of tag. People walk by in groups, eyeing the kids with amusement. Some dodge out of their way as Yeji and Beomgyu run away from Taehyun. Beomgyu is able to dodge the couple coming toward them but Yeji runs right into them. She tumbles to the ground.
Yerin steps forward to help her, but the couple she ran into are already reaching out to her. They pull Yeji up from the ground and kneel in front of her. The man and woman wear matching looks of concern as they make sure Yeji is okay. Yeji is smiling, laughing, and starts to immediately apologize to them. Yerin can see her go right into a story, pointing to her friends and all the food trucks around them. The couple stays put, listening intently to her, slow growing smiles on their face.
As the scene continues in front of her, Yerin’s stomach starts to twist. It’s never crossed her mind before how fragile Yeji’s presence is in her life. That one day, all of this, all their visits and games...it’ll all just vanish. Yeji will get adopted by a loving family and Yerin won’t ever see her again. That’s the likelihood of it. She wouldn’t have a right to see Yeji and it’s that idea alone that leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. That makes her stomach churn and her heart jump into her throat.
This beautiful and kind little girl, who has brightened Yerin’s day for the past two years could be swept away from her. Yerin wants the best for Yeji, wants her to have that family that she knows the little girl deserves.
Yerin wants to be that family.
“Oh, shit,” she mutters, the weight of the realization dawns on her. She loves Yeji with her whole heart, she’s never denied that. Never could deny that she holds a place in her heart, but she’s never entertained the thought before of being her mom. That’s exactly what she wants though.
When she checks back into the real world, Yeji is waving at her with a wide smile.
“Another game and then can we do the teacups?” Yeji asks and Yerin shoots her gentle smile and a thumbs up.
The couple Yeji had been talking to walk quickly up with her. Their hands are clasped between them, cordial smiles on their faces. Both bow when they reach Yerin.
“Your Highness, my name’s Eric, this is my wife, Yongsun—”
“Your Highness,” she smiles with a curtsy.
“We’re really touched by your work with the children at the orphanage,” Eric says. “It’s amazing, truly, and the kids seem very happy.”
“They deserve a day like today,” Yerin says, amicably.
“Actually, we, uh, had a reason to approach you,” Yongsun lays a hand on Eric’s arm. “We just spoke with a really sweet girl, Yeji, and I—is there anything you can tell us about her?”
“Oh, um,” Yerin’s eyes flit over to Yeji. She’s chasing after her friends, laughter filling the air around them. Yerin’s heart breaks. “She’s amazing. Kind, selfless, funny. I don’t know how or why she hasn’t met a family that wants her.”
“Are there any families looking to adopt her? We would really like to set up a meeting to get to know her,” Eric says.
“None that I know of, but you’re better off talking to Director Seulgi about it.” Yerin points them in her direction and watches with a heavy heart as they walk off to talk to Seulgi.
It’s not the last time Yerin fields questions about Yeji, or the other kids from the children’s home. She’s happy for them, all of them. Years of watching these kids grow and be disappointed by people repeatedly. Yerin wants them to find homes, to have families that love them. But the more people that bring up Yeji to her, the more she sees the little girl slipping out of her life for good.
While Yeji is in line at the food truck with her friends, Yerin takes a quick moment to talk to Seulgi. Her panic has been rising while she’s been waiting to get a chance to speak to the director. All she can imagine is losing Yeji. Actually, losing her and she can’t handle that thought. Not even for a second.
“Seulgi, hi, I—” Yerin takes a seat opposite of her. “I want to adopt her.”
“Took you long enough,” Seulgi sighs and drops the book in her hand onto the table.
“Wh—” Yerin glances around, making sure Yeji isn’t coming toward them yet. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve been over the moon for Yeji since you met her, I really didn’t think it would take you so long to realize it.”
“I want to adopt her, Seulgi, I mean it.”
Seulgi regards her carefully, “I can’t give you preferential treatment because your royalty.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
“You’ll have to follow the same rules as everyone else, Your Highness. Yeji has a right to meet all the families. Ultimately, she’s the one who chooses.”
Yerin nods, “I understand. Schedule me in, please.”
Seulgi writes down a note in her phone, “I’ll send you an email later this week with a day and time. You should be sure this is what you want, that she fits into your life and your family. It’s one thing to adopt her into an average family, it’s another to adopt her into the royal family.”
“I know,” she looks over her shoulder again. Yeji is walking toward them with a cotton candy bag in one hand and chicken fingers in the other. She smiles at her, “I can’t imagine my life without her.”
Sooyoung and Jiwoo have been running around the carnival like two little kids. Today, she’s not the Queen of Statera, she’s just another person that’s enjoying the playful atmosphere of the day. They rarely get out of Statera, so rarely don’t have any kind of meeting or event that they have to uphold a certain demeanor. Sooyoung finally gets to let herself have a good time without obligations looming over her. It’s really the first time since she took the crown five years ago. She forgot how much she’s missed being a person before being a royal.
Her and Jiwoo have run around the carnival eating their weight in food from the food trucks and trying all the rides that they can bear to be on. Windswept and exhilarated, they stumble off the Drop Tower. Giggling like children, arms linked at their elbows, they walk toward the game’s booths.
“We should do this more often,” Sooyoung sighs dreamily.
“Get our brains rattled and our stomachs in our chests?” Jiwoo casts a teasing glance at her girlfriend.
“No, well...yes, but not what I meant. We should, I dunno, take time away from the palace more.”
“You did promise me a vacation,” Jiwoo grins. They pass by a line forming by the Zipper. They wave to Jinsol and Hyunjin who are waiting in the line. Jinsol stands behind Hyunjin, her arms wrapped around her waist, chin resting on her shoulder. The two princesses wave back with cheerful grins.
Sooyoung wonders for a brief moment how her niece is doing with Jungeun. They’ve talked on and off over the past weeks and had seen each other in the Valo palace during the meeting, but there hasn’t been much of a chance to really see how she’s doing. She’s been trying to catch sight of them throughout the afternoon to no avail. But seeing that Jinsol and Hyunjin are happy and together gives Sooyoung some hope that Heejin is happy, too.
“I did,” Sooyoung smiles at Jiwoo softly. “We’ll go the moment this crown is off my head and on Heejin’s. Anywhere you want. Everywhere you want. But I meant we should take more breaks, be a little more carefree.”
“I like carefree, Sooyoungie.” Jiwoo stops them near a game booth and kisses her chastely. “We’ll take more breaks. I’ll move your schedule around a bit more and we can have some free time. How does that sound?”
“Amazing, as long as you’re with me, I’m happy.”
“So cheesy,” Jiwoo laughs. She turns around and her eyes light up immediately when she sees the giant plush penguin at the balloon darts booth.
“You want the penguin.”
“I want the penguin.”
“Okay,” Sooyoung struts confidently up to the booth. “I’ll win you that penguin.”
The booth worker takes the money from Sooyoung and hands her a few darts. She takes an exaggerated stance and aims for a medium sized balloon. The dart whizzes through the air and bounces off the balloon, hitting the shelf below.
She glances nervously at Jiwoo before throwing the next one. Same thing happens again. With the third, and last, dart, Sooyoung aims for a bigger balloon intent on trying to make something pop to save her dignity. But, just like all the rest, the dart wobbles in the air, misses the balloon completely and embeds itself into the cork wall.
“Ooh, better luck next time,” the booth worker laughs.
“These games are rigged,” Sooyoung grumbles with a pout.
“How about another chance then? I’ll offer you a deal, half price since you’re a Queen,” the booth worker holds out the darts to her, but she shakes her head.
“I’ll try!” Jiwoo takes the darts.
“Jiwoo, it’s rigged, you’re not gonna—” Sooyoung stops as she watches a dart pop one of the smaller balloons in the top row. In rapid succession, Jiwoo throws the last two, popping two more small balloons on the board. Sooyoung turns to her girlfriend with wide eyes. “Jiwoo, what the f—”
“Shh, Sooyoung there’s children,” Jiwoo points to the kids next to them. Yeji and Nako wave while Yerin shoots the Queen a look.
“Miss,” the booth worker calls and pulls their attention to the giant plush penguin in their hands.
“Yay!” Jiwoo claps and takes it from them.
“How’d you—” Sooyoung looks between Jiwoo and the balloons several times, trying to figure out where she went wrong and how her girlfriend managed to do it.
The corner of Jiwoo’s mouth turns up in a secretive smile, “I’m a woman of many talents.”
All Sooyoung can do is shake her head with a loving smile and take Jiwoo’s hand. They walk away from the games with a giant penguin in Jiwoo’s arm in search of the next thing they can do.
Passing by them, Somi waves to her aunt and Jiwoo, her own hand intertwined with Doyeon’s as they peruse the booths.
“I kicked your ass at that basketball game,” Doyeon gloats.
“Lucky shot,” Somi rolls her eyes.
The two have been roaming the field for the past couple hours going on rides and talking with their friends. Doyeon’s Mom, Duchess Eunbi, had made an appearance at one point, joining the pair for lunch, but vanished not much later. Doyeon claims it happens a lot, but she had shrugged the conversation off and directed Somi over to the games where she completely obliterated Somi.
“I won three times, Somi.”
“Whatever, still lucky.” Somi has always been the best at everything she’s done, especially growing up with Heejin. Her sister is talented in her own ways, but she’s slower to pick up on things than Somi.
“Okay, what about the water gun game?”
“The gun broke,” Somi shrugs, recalling the shock of the handle falling clean off the gun. She thought the booth worker was going to kill her.
“You broke it!” Doyeon yells through her laughter.
“I still maintain it broke itself.”
“Just admit I’m better at something than you are,” Doyeon says.
“Never.”
“Just say it once,” Doyeon pushes. They weave through the crowds of people, their hands never letting go of each other despite their bickering.
“Nope,” Somi says, popping the ‘p’ exaggeratedly.
“Stubborn.”
“Show off.”
“You’re insufferable,” Doyeon groans.
“I learned from the best,” Somi smirks, eyeing Doyeon teasingly.
Doyeon rolls her eyes playfully, a smile sneaking its way onto her face. “You’re just a sore loser.”
“Maybe I am, but I will find something to beat you at.” Somi pauses and looks around the booths near them. She’s spent most of her life sparring with Jiwoo, Heejin, and Sooyoung. Countless hours spent in the gym training and building muscle. So, when she sees the hammer strength game, she confidently walks over to it. Based on what she knows, Somi thinks she’s got this in the bag.
“This is what you choose, seriously?”
“What, are you chicken?” Somi teases, taking the large rubber mallet from the worker. She winks at Doyeon and swings the mallet up and back down, hitting the button on the ground. The ball rises up the tower, nearly reaching the top, but falls back down. “See if you can beat that.”
Doyeon struts over to the game and Somi hands her the mallet. With the utmost ease, Doyeon copies Somi’s motions, but there’s a gentle fluidity to it. The mallet strikes the button and the ball rockets to the top, hitting the bell. Chimes echo through the air and she spins around to look at an open-mouthed Somi.
“Will you accept defeat now?” Doyeon smirks.
Closing her mouth, Somi nods, accepting that she may never win. “Yes, you’re a superior carnival game player.”
Doyeon laughs softly, sweetly, and its music to Somi’s ears. Her stomach erupts in butterflies and she knows her childhood crush certainly hasn’t gone away, not that she ever thought it had.
She walks over and kisses Somi on the cheek. “And don’t you forget it.”
Somi can’t fight the blush that colors her face. Maybe she can win some things.
Taking her hand, Doyeon pulls a flustered Somi away from the games toward the tilt-a-whirl. Somi catches sight of her sister getting off the ride with Jungeun in tow. They’re lost in their own world, looking at each other with the softest smiles, Somi thinks she might be sick from the sight of it.
At least she can tell Aunt Sooyoung that Heejin is doing just fine from the sight of things.
Jungeun and Heejin get off the tilt-a-whirl, dizzy and laughing. They hold tight to each other, sharing goofy smiles as they wobble their way through the field. Jungeun hasn’t felt this unbothered, this happy, in a very long time. She doesn’t notice the looks she’s getting from other nobles at the carnival. Doesn’t see the sneers or hear the snide comments. Heejin doesn’t notice them either. They’re both lost in their own world, wrapped up in each other.
Together, they head toward the game booths. Jungeun leans into Heejin’s side, warmth blossoming in her chest when Heejin kisses her head.
“Thank you,” Jungeun breathes.
“You’re welcome,” Heejin smiles at her, “but, uh, for what?”
“For this…all of this. To see all the kids having fun, knowing they’ll get a better place to live after all of this,” Jungeun says. She remembers the Children’s Home from when she was a kid there, even then it had been in disrepair for years. She’s certain it hasn’t received the attention it needs and that the kids deserve. Knowing that Heejin has played a big part in making this all come true makes so much happiness well up inside Jungeun she almost can’t handle it. “It means so much to me, Heej.”
“They deserve to have a good home to live in, and to have some fun, too,” Heejin shrugs. “Plus, it’s the place that took you in and raised you for a little bit. It means something to you, it’s a part of your story…and now it’ll be a part of our story. Funding this carnival was a no brainer.”
Jungeun is floored for a moment, jaw slack as she takes in the enormity of Heejin’s words. Takes in the overwhelming warmth and—and love that swirls together inside her chest. No one has taken the time to acknowledge her past like that. Everyone tells Jungeun this is her home, this is who she is now, but what about who she was? What about where she came from? That has always followed her. People treat her a certain way because she came from the children’s home, and Heejin sees that. Heejin has never made her feel like she has to shed her past to fit into her future. Their future.
Overcome with emotion, Jungeun stops and throws her arms around Heejin, tugging her into an embrace. The world around her falls away as Heejin’s arm engulf her.
“I—thank you,” Jungeun whispers, lips brushing Heejin’s ear. “I l—I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
“Yeah, me too,” Heejin answers, voice thick with emotion. Her senses are filled with Jungeun. Everything in that moment is just them, wrapped together, embracing each other.
“Get a room!” Somi yells as she passes by, her hand still firmly clasped with Doyeon’s.
“How about we take your room!” Heejin yells back, letting go of Jungeun at the same time. Somi looks appalled at her sister and scampers away with Doyeon laughing behind her.
Jungeun shakes her head at the sister’s antics.
They end up at a game booth a little while later. A baseball in hand and a stack of bottles staring Heejin down. Beside them, Lady Jihyo and Lady Dahyun are trying their luck at the game. They watch them take their turns, the baseballs flying toward the bottles and either missing completely or only knocking a few down.
Dahyun tosses her ball carefully and it knocks down the bottle on the top of the pyramid. Heejin and Jungeun clap for her, laughing at Jihyo’s outraged face.
“I’m not going to let you win, Lady Dahyun,” Jihyo huffs. She tosses a ball harder this time. It misses the bottles and takes out one of the stuffed animals hanging from the back wall.
Heejin steps up to the third stall after watching the two women continue to exchange snide remarks with each other.
“You couldn’t even hit one if you were standing in front of it,” Jihyo says to Dahyun.
“Funny you say that, since you haven’t even knocked one over,” Dahyun retorts. She nudges Jihyo and nods toward Heejin who’s about to throw her first ball.
Jungeun watches as Heejin winds up and pitches the ball perfectly to the center of the stack of bottles. They explode outward, scattering around the booth. Jungeun cheers loudly for her. The grin Heejin sends her has Jungeun weak in the knees.
Beside her, Dahyun and Jihyo grumble.
“Beginners luck,” Jihyo says.
“She’s gonna be Queen, they probably just made it easier for her,” Dahyun reasons. They both nod to themselves and cut their losses at the booth.
“Bet I can beat you at ring toss,” Jihyo challenges and the pair head out. Jungeun shakes her head at them. She’s known them for years now, and Jihyo’s competitiveness has been nothing short of entertaining. Especially when royal events begin to get dull, Jungeun could always count on her to make it more interesting.
Heejin approaches Jungeun with a dopey smile and hands her the prize she won.
“For me?”
“Duh,” Heejin rolls her eyes playfully. “I don’t need a prize when I have you.”
“Cheesy,” Jungeun laughs. She takes the small lion plushie from her hands.
“It kinda looks like you, yeah?” Heejin points at the lion’s mane and then Jungeun’s hair. They share a laugh.
“Thanks, I’d be lion if I said I didn’t like it,” Jungeun grins.
“That—that was awful,” Heejin snorts. “And you called me cheesy.”
“You just lack the palette for my humor.”
“Whatever you need to tell yourself, Eun.”
Jungeun pouts, which only makes Heejin laugh harder. Beneath the laughter, Heejin’s heart tugs in her chest at the sight. She can’t stop the pull she feels toward Jungeun, and for once she doesn’t fight it. Throwing her arms around Jungeun’s shoulders, Heejin hugs her tightly and tucks her head into the crook of her neck.
“Affection isn’t gonna make me less grumpy.” Jungeun’s cheek is pressed to the side of Heejin’s face.
“I can feel you smiling.”
“Shut up,” Jungeun mutters.
Heejin kisses Jungeun’s neck before letting go and shouting, “Race you to the swing ride!”
Jungeun is stupefied, frozen in her spot watching as Heejin dashes away. Heat rises up her neck, tinging her face pink. It takes her a second before she races after her.
“Heejin! Princesses don’t run!”
“Good thing I’m almost the Queen! I get a pass!” Heejin calls over her shoulder and runs faster. Her and Jungeun weave through the crowd, both laughing into the wind. Carefree.
Jinsol and Hyunjin see Jungeun and Heejin run by as they stand in line for the bumper cars. Hyunjin watches them disappear into the crowd with a wide smile and Jinsol has to fight the jealousy that rises in her.
“Tell me again how you think you can win at bumper cars,” Jinsol says, drawing Hyunjin’s attention back to her.
“Hmm? Oh,” Hyunjin takes Jinsol’s hand as they move up in line. “Easy, if I hit you more times than you hit me, then I win.”
“Isn’t the point to evade the other cars?”
Hyunjin shrugs, “Where’s the fun in evading when I can just crash into people? We don’t get many chances to let loose as princesses, Sol. I’m going to use this to my advantage and hit some annoying dignitaries.”
Jinsol laughs, “I have my sights on a few.”
The attendant for the ride opens the gate and takes their tickets, letting them onto the platform. Hyunjin climbs into a bumper car and Jinsol goes to take the one near her.
“Uh-uh, nope, you have to take one further away. Makes it more challenging to get to you,” Hyunjin says. “I don’t want an easy victory.”
“Hyun, you can’t—”
“I can win, and I will. Now go,” Hyunjin shoos Jinsol away with a sweet smile. Jinsol rolls her eyes with a laugh, but listens to Hyunjin anyway.
She climbs into her own bumper car and buckles herself in. Loud music starts to blare out of the speakers, creating a lively atmosphere in the arena. Kids sit in the array of colorful bumper cars, some accompanied by adults. Jinsol spots Yerin in a bump car surrounded by an army of kids from the children’s home.
Yerin points two fingers at her eyes and then at Jinsol, before running one along her neck. Jinsol narrows her eyes and sticks her tongue out at her sister.
The attendant switches on the bumper cars and chaos ensues. Jinsol is rocketed around the arena trying to reach Hyunjin, who is laughing manically as she crashes into dignitaries from Fiore and other regions.
“Sorry!” Hyunjin yells, though the laugh that follows shows how little she actually cares about it.
Jinsol manages to get her bumper car near Hyunjin only to be crashed into by Yerin and the kids. Yeji grins at her as she backs up and hits her again. An onslaught of bumps from them send Jinsol further away from Hyunjin, her true target.
“Told you I was gonna get you!” Yerin laughs as she hits Jinsol’s car again.
“You’re gonna give me whiplash,” Jinsol says, hitting her car against Yerin’s trying to escape.
Out of nowhere, Hyunjin comes through the sea of bumper cars of kids. Kids go bouncing back, crashing into each other with gleeful screams.
“I’ll save you, Jinsol!” Hyunjin yells dramatically, only for her to drive straight into Jinsol’s car.
The attendant cuts off the power to the cars and everyone comes to a halt. Hyunjin grins at Jinsol.
“Some saving that was,” Jinsol mutters, but still takes the hand Hyunjin offers her to help her out of the car. “I think my brain is rattled.”
“I did tell you I was going to win.” Hyunjin guides Jinsol carefully out of the arena and down the steps.
“Yeah, yeah, you won, Hyun, but you only hit me once. So, I say we’d need to do a rematch. I think you can do better than that,” Jinsol laughs and stumbles. Hyunjin catches her, wrapping an arm around her waist.
“Maybe next time, those kids did a number on you,” Hyunjin says.
Yerin and Yeji walk by, both pointing and laughing at Jinsol. Yerin sticks her tongue out at her sister. The pair run off leaving a grumbling Jinsol behind.
After catching her bearings, Jinsol and Hyunjin find their way into the fun house. They had made their way through the first couple rooms with ease. Laughing at the other as they’re thrown off balance on the tipsy floors and the jet streams of air that startle them. For the most part they’re alone, not many people find the fun house all that much fun. Hyunjin had been adamant that they go in, though.
They reach another room, this time a maze of mirrors stands in front of them. Hyunjin offers her a sly smile. Jinsol knows it means trouble, that what’s likely to follow will be some sort of game, but it doesn’t stop her heart from leaping in her chest. She’s grown used to Hyunjin’s playfulness and how it makes her come out of her shell.
“What?” Jinsol asks with that smile she reserves just for Hyunjin.
“We’re going to play a game.” Hyunjin takes Jinsol’s hands and pulls her closer. Her excitement radiates off her as she bounces in place. “I’m going to hide—”
“ —and I’ll have to find you.” Jinsol shakes her head as she laughs. Another version of hide Hyunjin, she’s not surprised.
“—and you’ll have to find me!” Hyunjin’s grin widens when she realizes Jinsol had finished her sentence with her.
“Okay,” Jinsol steps closer to Hyunjin, “but what do I win when I find you?”
“Mm, you’ll just have to find me to find out,” Hyunjin’s eyes darken and Jinsol squirms under her gaze. She places her hands on Jinsol’s hips and backs her up into the wall behind her, holding her in place for just a moment. “Count to ten, then come find me.”
Hyunjin waits for Jinsol to close her eyes and kisses her on the cheek. Her lips brush the corner of Jinsol’s mouth, a hint at what may be to come.
She rushes through the maze of mirrors, trying to find her way through and a decent hiding spot from Jinsol.
In the distance, Hyunjin hears her finishing her counting.
“Nine, ten, ready or not!” Jinsol yells, “I sound ridiculous. I’m going to get that prize, Hyunjin!”
Hyunjin hopes she does.
She can hear as Jinsol crashes into mirrors and mutters to herself. Hyunjin has to suppress her own laughter so she doesn’t get found.
“Did you find a hatch in the ground or something? I feel like I’m in an episode of Scooby-Doo…” Jinsol sighs, her hands running along the mirrors trying to find the next exit. In the reflection of one, she sees a flash of dark hair and a tan sweater that looks all too familiar. She grins and turns the corner.
The back of Hyunjin’s head reflects off several of the mirrors. Examining the mirrors, Jinsol sees that there’s an exit to her left that most likely leads the end of the maze, but there’s a corner to her right that is probably a dead end.
She has a feeling that Hyunjin is hiding there.
“I’m gonna have to go through this maze again to find you!” Jinsol yells, before sneaking up to the little alcove of mirrors.
Hyunjin jumps when Jinsol’s arms wrap around her waist. They stumble out of the alcove into the main area of mirrors in that section of the maze.
“Gotcha,” Jinsol whispers. Her fingers grip Hyunjin’s hips, spinning her around in her arms. “So, what do I win?”
Jinsol’s voice is soft, sultry, and Hyunjin’s breath hitches in her throat.
“I can show you,” Hyunjin answers, resting her hands on her shoulders. Her eyes linger on Jinsol’s lips. “If you want…”
Jinsol’s heart stutters at the words, at the question she can read on Hyunjin’s face. Something shifts in that moment for her. To see that Hyunjin has respected her boundaries this far, that she’s asking now if Jinsol wants to make that jump to something more with her. Their first kiss meant something to Jinsol, and she thinks she finally knows what that something is, and she sees it reflected in Hyunjin’s eyes.
“I do.”
Mirrors all around them reflecting their bodies drifting closer. Heads leaning in, lips so close to touching. It’s a torturous moment, one that stretches out. Hearts hammering in their chests, fingers leaving fiery trails behind as they glide across skin. Breathless, yearning, wrapped in a moment that feels so explicitly theirs.
Hyunjin’s about to grab Jinsol and kiss her. To fall so helplessly and freely into that feeling, into Jinsol.
And then a swell of children’s voices fills the mirror maze.
“I bet I can reach the end before you, Yeji!”
“In your dreams, Nako!”
It’s not a moment later that Yeji and her friends’ barrel through Hyunjin and Jinsol’s embrace. Their moment shatters as they jump out of the way of the herd of kids that come stampeding through the maze.
“Sorry, Your Highnesses!” Yeji yells over her shoulder as she rushes through the maze, intent on beating her friend.
Jinsol and Hyunjin both slump against the mirrors, blushes covering their cheeks.
“So, uh, wanna get some fried dough?” Hyunjin asks, reaching out for Jinsol. Neither mention what almost happened. Disappointment is evident in their expressions.
Jinsol takes Hyunjin’s hand and they head out of the fun house in search of food. Both replaying that moment over and over in their heads wondering what it would have been like had it not been interrupted.
After their fried dough, Jinsol and Hyunjin had run into the rest of the Jung sisters near the picnic area. Knowing that they hadn’t seen each other in a while, Hyunjin gave Jinsol a quick kiss to the cheek and disappeared to talk to Heejin who was wandering aimlessly nearby.
Jinsol watches her walk toward Heejin with a twist in her gut.
“Don’t look so grumpy,” Krystal says, “Hyunjin is over the moon for you.”
“Yeah, well…I don’t trust Heejin,” Jinsol shrugs and looks back at her sisters.
Her sisters all exchange a look.
“Heejin is a good person,” Yerin speaks up. “This carnival wouldn’t have happened without her.”
A pang of betrayal ricochets inside of Jinsol. Her older sisters all nod at Yerin’s statement, aware that the Statera Princess had lent a rather large hand in making this happen for the children’s home.
“What do you mean?”
“I had gone to ask Duchess Sowon and Eunha to donate money for the carnival,” Yerin says hesitantly. “They have a stake in the children’s home because Jungeun was adopted from there.”
“She was…?”
“Yeah,” Krystal says carefully, stepping closer to Jinsol. “No big deal though.”
“Well, duh,” Jinsol pushes her sister’s arm away from her. “I don’t care where she came from, she’s my best friend. We knew she was adopted.”
“Right…” Yerin coughs, covering her discomfort. “Um, well when I asked for money Heejin jumped in and offered to donate a lot of money and I didn’t want to turn that down. She cares a lot about Jungeun and about the children’s home. I don’t think you have any reason to be jealous…”
Jessica has been smiling down at her phone for a better part of the conversation. She tunes back in halfheartedly.
“The Kims were having money problems. I had given them a loan a few months back,” Jessica divulges. “It’s probably why Jungeun agreed to marry Heejin in the first place.”
The youngest Jung siblings fall silent, jaws slack.
Looking up, Jessica sees their shocked expressions and grimaces. “I was so not supposed to tell anyone that…”
“ What? ” Jinsol all but yells. Her mind is a chaotic mess, trying to piece together all the signs she missed. All the words Jungeun has said to her and the ones she hasn’t. She thinks back to their conversation not long ago where they promised no more secrets. Yet here she is with her sisters, hearing about the biggest secret Jungeun has kept from her.
Logically, she knows Jungeun didn’t have to tell her anything. Not in so many words. But it’s the fact that all this time Jinsol has told Jungeun every single secret. She has trusted Jungeun without question. They made a promise, and Jungeun not only didn’t keep it, she had no intention to even make that promise truthfully.
Jinsol sees red.
Her sisters try to stop her from storming off, calling to her, but Jinsol is gone in a flash. Jessica swallows thickly at the glares she receives from Yerin and Krystal.
“I messed up, huh?”
Krystal sighs, “Big time.”
“Well,” Yerin claps her hands together, “while that shit hits the fan, wanna go on the Zipper with me?”
Yerin points over to the foreboding ride next to them, the one the continuous screams have been coming from.
Both her sisters pale.
“Nope!” Krystal says.
“Absolutely not,” Jessica shakes her head.
“Perfect, let’s go,” Yerin smiles and drags both her sisters against their will into line for the ride.
Heejin and Hyunjin are keeping up with the Kim-Wong-Jeon tradition. This time Hyunjin is crushing Heejin at a basketball game. She’s sinking after basket, leaving Heejin struggling to keep up.
“Guess you finally found something you’re good at,” Heejin huffs as Hyunjin gets another with her last ball. Her score is at least triple Heejin’s score.
“Maybe I’ve just been holding back. Lull you into a sense of security.” Hyunjin takes the prize offered to her and crouches down to hand it to a kid who missed one too many shots to win.
“You’re evil wrapped in this sweet shell, it’s deceiving.”
“Finally, you’re catching on,” Hyunjin winks at her jokingly.
They grab some ice cream from the vendor near the games and found a picnic table to take a seat. Falling silent for a minute and enjoying their ice cream, Heejin and Hyunjin both shoot their fiancées a text to let them know where they are.
Heejin had left Jungeun with her moms before she ran into Hyunjin. Sowon and Eunha had really whisked Jungeun away with them, and Heejin let her have some quality time with her family. She didn’t mind, actually, because she needed to catch up with Hyunjin.
They had a relatively silent agreement that they are better off as friends since that day in the gym. Heejin hasn’t had a chance to talk to her about it, though, and she wants to make sure they really are on the same page. She’s tired of the miscommunications and mixed signals that have been popping up in all her relationships.
“Can I ask something?”
“Sure,” Hyunjin takes a bite out of the ice cream.
Heejin pauses and looks around the carnival. As the day is coming to an end, the lights of the rides and booths are slowly flickering on. Neon glows in the distance as the summer sun fades to dark, and there’s a sense of ease that comes with it. With the echoing yells from the rides and the laughter from the game booths. Everyone passes by with easy smiles, even the dignitaries that are always stone faced are enjoying themselves.
Heejin wonders what it would have been like to wander through the carnival with Hyunjin beside her instead of Jungeun. As that thought crosses her mind, she knows immediately it wouldn’t have been as special. Time spent with Jungeun has always been important to Heejin, but it’s starting to take on a whole new meaning to her. Deeper than what it was before.
“Us, being friends, is that really what you want?” Heejin finally asks.
Hyunjin nods carefully, “It is, but if that’s not what you want—”
“No, no!” Heejin holds her hands up, waving them to stop Hyunjin. “It is, I want to be your friend. I just—I think we needed to have this conversation, about what we were to what we are now.”
“I think…I think what I felt toward you was just that initial connection, knowing that our dads were best friends,” Hyunjin says. “Talking to you, getting close to you, was my first chance to make a choice for myself, for love.”
“You had more of a choice in love than you think,” Heejin points out. “We both did.”
Hyunjin smiles slyly, “Oh, don’t worry, I noticed how cozy you and Jungeun have gotten.”
Heejin smacks her, “Shut up, you and Jinsol aren’t much better.”
Both glare at each other before breaking out in laughter. To think they’ve come this far, from trying to find moments to sneak away to talk or be together, to being so comfortable in this friendship.
“This feels right, it feels better than whatever we were trying to force to happen before,” Hyunjin says after their laughter dies down.
“Now we get to compete for the rest of our lives.”
“Not much of a competition,” Hyunjin shrugs, “I’m better”
“I think our current tally of wins shows who the better one of us is,” Heejin smirks. All Hyunjin can do is huff and eat the rest of her ice cream in silence, conjuring up new games they can play so she can win.
She glances up and catches sight of Jinsol quickly walking across the field.
Jinsol is hell-bent on a mission to find Jungeun at this point. From the text she received from Hyunjin, she figured she is more likely to find Jungeun where the other two are sitting. As she marches toward Hyunjin and Heejin, Jinsol catches sight of Jungeun coming from the opposite direction.
Swiveling on her feet, Jinsol stomps right up to Jungeun who is unknowingly walking into a fight she did not anticipate.
Hyunjin elbows Heejin, “I think Sol and Jungeun found each other.”
“Why does it look like Jinsol is about to scream?” Heejin whispers, worry lacing her voice.
“I think she might.” Hyunjin tosses her ice cream into the trash and they head toward Jinsol and Jungeun.
Jungeun goes to greet Jinsol with a hug, only to be met with a glare she hadn’t anticipated. She stops in her tracks.
“Jin, is there something wrong?”
“I heard Heejin donated money for the carnival on your behalf,” Jinsol says, arms crossed over her chest.
At that moment, Hyunjin and Heejin join them, only catching part of the conversation.
“Oh, did you finally tell Jinsol about the money problems?” Heejin asks.
Hyunjin slides up to Jinsol’s side and runs her hand down her arm. Jinsol unfolds her arms, taking Hyunjin’s hand in hers and giving it a squeeze.
“She knows? You told her first?” Jinsol says quietly and detached.
Jungeun gulps, “How’d you find out?” She knows in that moment that she’s messed up. Keeping this from Jinsol had never been her intention, but she didn’t want to dredge up old news when everything is now fine with her family. They’re okay now, and her and Jinsol are okay, too. Well…they were.
“I had the luxury of hearing it from my sisters. I told you I didn’t want anymore secrets. You promised me there would be no more secrets.”
“It was solved; I didn’t see the point…” Jungeun tries to justify. Heejin holds her hand, rubbing circles on her hand. It’s a nice attempt at soothing her, but Jungeun can feel the ground shaking beneath her feet. With each word they exchange, a cavern opens up between them, pushing them further and further apart.
“The point.” Jinsol shakes her head and looks up to the sky with her jaw clenched. When she looks back at Jungeun, her eyes are filled with a wet anger, “Did you ever trust me? Did you really think so low of me that I’d judge you for that? Did you really think I wouldn’t do everything to be there for you?”
Jinsol’s voice shakes. It stops and goes as she chokes over her words, staring her best friend in the eyes as the world they slowly started to build back up together crumbles again.
“You know that’s not it,” Jungeun whispers forcefully.
Heejin and Hyunjin exchange worried glances, knowing they are out in the open. People are watching the two noblewomen from Valo argue at a charity event.
It only takes a few tugs, but Jinsol and Jungeun follow their fiancées to a more reclusive spot away from prying eyes and ears. The last thing any of them need is a news article running about this.
“You know—” Jungeun repeats.
“Do I? Do I even know you, Jungeun? We’ve been friends since we were kids. I’ve told you everything, and I mean everything , and you didn’t do the same. You told Heejin first!” Jinsol’s shaking. Hyunjin can feel it in her hand as she gets more riled up as the conversation progresses. Jinsol can’t stop herself. Everything in her is breaking. It had been one thing for Jungeun to leave her behind, to reject her and forget about her. But now all their friendship had been built on were lies and one-sided trust. “How long did you even know her before you spilled your guts? How long before you decided she was more trustworthy and important to know all about you? Because after over ten years of friendship, you clearly didn’t feel that way about me.”
“Stop it, Jinsol!” Jungeun yells. “That’s not how it is at all. You’re—you’re acting like a jealous girlfriend.” The moment the words fall from her lips, Jungeun covers her mouth. Eye widening as she gapes at her.
Jinsol laughs. It’s a bitter broken sound. All emotion has drained from her eyes. “Yeah, well, you made sure that never happened.” Jinsol starts to leave with Hyunjin.
“Jin, wait—” Jungeun reaches out for her, letting go of Heejin’s hand to do so.
“I waited!” Jinsol screams, voice cracking as she whirls around. “I trusted you with everything. You promised you’d tell me the truth and you blatantly lied! I’m done, Jungeun. I’m…I’m just done.”
Jinsol walks away, leaving no more room for arguing. Hyunjin pauses and looks at Heejin who is already leading Jungeun away. Hyunjin is quick to follow after Jinsol.
It doesn’t take long for Hyunjin call her driver and text her mom to let her know she was leaving early. Not that she had seen her mom or Mama Seul since they all arrived.
The ride to the airport is quiet. Both lost in their own thoughts.
Hyunjin has no idea what to make of what happened, nor does she have enough information to even understand what happened. All she knows is Jinsol is hurting and that she needs to be there for her.
When they reach the tarmac, Hyunjin guides Jinsol up the steps of the private jet before thanking their driver and the pilot.
Jinsol takes a seat on the couch. Her adrenaline from the fight wearing off, and with it the anger falls away. All that’s left is the hollow space in her chest echoing a sadness and betrayal she had never experienced before. She reaches out for Hyunjin.
Hyunjin takes the cue to sit, her arm encircling Jinsol’s waist and pulling her closer. She tucks her chin over her head, rubbing slow circles on her lower back. As Jinsol starts to cry, Hyunjin holds tighter to her, pressing kisses into her hair.
Jinsol buries her face in Hyunjin’s chest and lets out a strangled sob. Loud. Broken. Full of pain that reverberates inside her. Jinsol feels something break then, something that she had been holding on for so long.
Whatever her and Jungeun had, whatever feelings still lingered between them—platonic or not—Jinsol knows it’ll never be the same again.
Notes:
ookayy, so! This is my last week of summer classes and I WILL FINALLY HAVE MORE TIME TO WRITE. I have a two week break before my fall semester starts, but I hope to get a large chunk of this fic finished in that time. I have no idea when I'll update again, but if you wanna stay up to date on things, follow me on twitter.
Or check out the #loonamttc tag on twitter
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
ask me things here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96
Chapter 16: In Bloom
Notes:
and HELLO again, i finished this chapter literally yesterday and i'm posting it now because i can. shall we do a recap? We're doing it anyway (also ignore any grammar or spelling mistakes im tired and messy)
So, last chapter Hyunjin and Vivi went to the capital and did some shopping and they finally talked about Vivi meddling in Hyunjin's life. Everything's all good now and Vivi can tell how much her daughter feels for Jinsol. (Also idk if anyone saw it but WENRENE. okay anyway). Jessica held a meeting with the Royalty from the other countries and they came up with a plan to stop the pandemic and help Valo. Krystal and Jungeun spoke with PM Joy and the co-rule law they created is basically good to go after edits. KRYSTAL FINALLY CONFESSED TO BORA AND THEY KISSED FUCK YEAH. Some shitty men talk shit behind Heejin's back, literally, and Heejin FINALLY hits her breaking point and lets it all out with Jungeun. AND THEN THE CARNIVAL: Yerin realizes she wants to adopt Yeji and be her mom. Chuuves are cute. Somi and Doyeon have a little competitive date because I forget about Somi like all the time and she deserves love too. Heejin and Jungeun are having a GREAT DAY RUDE NOBILITY BE DAMNED and Heejin wins Jungeun a prize. Hyunjin and Jinsol ALMOST KISS FOR LIKE THE BILLIONTH TIME but Yeji and CO. interrupt them. Jessica lets Jungeun's secret about her family's money issues slips to Jinsol and all hell breaks loose. Jinsol and Jungeun have a massive fight and both are hurting. Oh, and 2jin are bros caught between their fighting fiancees. AND that's what you missed on MTTC. let's goooo
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter Sixteen: In Bloom
Hyunjin and Heejin are in the gym a week after the carnival debacle. Heejin has taken pity on Hyunjin’s inability to best her in a match and is running her through some basic drills. They move across the mats with ease, the hits on the sparring gloves echoing through the otherwise empty room.
Their frustrations with their fiancées have been rising. Neither Jungeun or Jinsol can stand to be in the same room with each other. On the occasions that they have to be, it’s endless hours of glaring and snide comments under their breaths. Heejin and Hyunjin are at a loss.
It’s how they end up here in the gym. There’s only so much they can hear from Jinsol and Jungeun about the other before their heads explode. And for Hyunjin and Heejin, that is not an exaggeration.
“They haven’t spoken a single word to each other in over a week,” Hyunjin hits the practice mitt on Heejin’s hand in a succession of quick jabs. “Sol is so tense, sometimes I think she’s a statue.”
“Jungeun, too. I thought they were going to start throwing knives at each other at dinner last night,” Heejin sighs, blocking the strike from Hyunjin. “I’m worried.”
It’s been a tense past week. Heejin may have slowly been opening up but Jungeun has been slowly receding. Distant, quiet, second guessing everything she’s saying. Heejin’s heart breaks every time she sees Jungeun’s face fall when Jinsol ignores her yet again. There isn’t anything she can do except be there for Jungeun and even then that doesn’t seem to be enough.
Heejin remembers how distraught Jungeun had been when she first arrived in Statera. That hollow look in her eyes that disappeared as their months together wore on have come back, and Heejin knows it isn’t to any fault of her own. Jungeun misses her best friend. She misses that connection, that feeling, and Heejin gets that. It doesn’t take a genius to see that Jungeun is carrying the weight of the guilt from keeping secrets from Jinsol. Heejin has had half a mind to go yell at Jinsol for making Jungeun so sad, but she knows that will only make things worse. Instead she holds Jungeun at night in hopes of keeping her from falling apart any further.
“You think they’ll talk soon?”
Heejin snorts, “No, they’re both stubborn.”
Hyunjin kicks her leg out and Heejin blocks it with ease. “They’re both hurting. They need to talk. Jinsol explained her side to me and I’m sure you know Jungeun’s side, but don’t you think they need to tell each other this stuff? I hate seeing Jinsol so upset, I just want to help, you know?”
Heejin calls a time out and regards Hyunjin thoughtfully, “Yeah, me too.”
“You’re thinking about something.”
“Well, your mom meddled to get us here—”
“Don’t remind me,” Hyunjin grumbles.
“—what if we meddle to get Jinsol and Jungeun to talk.” Heejin grins at her.
“Ah, I dunno, Heejin…” Hyunjin pats her gloves together as she thinks. Sure, her mom meddling helped bring the four of them together but meddling between Jinsol and Jungeun could also make it worse. “What if it hurts more than it helps?”
“I think you know as well as I do that they want to talk, they just don’t want to be the first to cave,” Heejin points this out with a raised brow as if challenging Hyunjin to disagree.
Hyunjin knows she can’t, there is no arguing that. She’s seen how stubborn Jinsol can be when it comes to Jungeun, and vice versa. The two had a strong friendship, but it’s clear from the carnival that there have been cracks in the foundation long before any one of them got engaged.
“You know I’m right. The two of them waited what? Like four months if not more to talk to each other and look how happy they were once they sorted it out,” Heejin nudges Hyunjin. “You said it yourself, Hyunjin, they’re hurting. Think of us meddling as a push in the right direction.”
“They’re gonna be pissed,” Hyunjin says, shaking her arms out before getting back into position. Heejin shrugs and follows suit.
“So, do you wanna hear my plan?”
“You already have a plan?” Heejin simply grins. “Yeah, okay, tell me while we run through this set.”
Heejin and Hyunjin square back up, circling each other. Heejin slowly lays out her plan.
“Okay, we’re gonna get them into the same room under false pretenses,” Heejin begins. She’s been thinking about this plan over the past couple days. Jungeun has been the one there for Heejin to help her pick up the pieces of the messes she’s made or even the mess she becomes. Heejin wants to do the same for Jungeun. Just like Hyunjin, Heejin only wants her fiancée to be happy. Even if that means doing something that may initially piss off both the women.
Hyunjin is in her room later that night. Heejin’s plan from earlier still runs through her mind as she plays her guitar. She doesn’t like the idea of deceiving Jinsol, but she may not have a choice. It wasn’t until Jinsol and Jungeun had sorted out their issues the first time that her relationship with Jinsol began to change. Hyunjin doesn’t want that to change again. Not when her and Jinsol are finally at a place that feels right.
She looks up, away from her fingers playing along the strings, and finds Jinsol across from her. They’re in the living room of their suite. Neither have really spoken in a while. There isn’t always much to say. Sometimes it’s just nice to relax in each other’s company.
Jinsol is laying on the couch, a book propped up on the armrest and a pillow under her chest. She turns the page, a thoughtful look on her face. Hyunjin’s heart leaps in her chest. It’s in these moments, the small ones, the simple ones, that Hyunjin is overwhelmed with these feelings. She falls into an endless cycle of memories and emotions that all come back to Jinsol. And as she plays through a series of songs and tunes, her mind plays those moments on repeat.
All her life she’s known Jinsol, at least it seems that way. Her earliest memories always seem to have her there somewhere. Balls, banquets, garden parties, and auctions. Jinsol has been there by her side or gracefully gliding across the room. Whenever Hyunjin had turned around, there was Jinsol. A beacon in the middle of all the chaos. The bright and warm light that pulled her in, guided her, and gave her comfort. Jinsol has always been there, even when Hyunjin didn’t realize.
She had been there for Hyunjin right after Kai died. Five years old and lost in the shuffle of royal life and obligations even at that age. Everyone treated her like she was fragile, tip-toed around her, made it seem like her dad’s death had come and gone so easily, but it hadn’t for Hyunjin. Most people laughed at how Hyunjin would talk to the teddy bear her dad gave her. Jinsol didn’t. She had given her a silent comfort and a distraction that felt normal.
Jinsol’s been there for her ever since.
It’s taken this long to realize how much she loves the other woman’s presence in her life. Every event Hyunjin looks for her and every time they part, she feels empty inside. That feeling that no matter how much time she spends with Jinsol, Hyunjin can never get enough.
She’s always loved Jinsol, but in a different way. At least she thought it was different. But looking at her now as she reads, her facial expressions changing with the words on the page, Hyunjin feels it. She feels that love rising in her like a tidal wave. Except, when the wave crashes, nothing is broken, nothing destroyed or misplaced. Because she’s ready.
All this time, since Jinsol moved to Fiore, it has been pieces rapidly falling into place. Hyunjin doesn’t know how or why it took this long to see it. She doesn’t know what really spurred her into being ready. Maybe it had been that emotionally charged kiss at the state banquet. Or the resolution with Heejin. Or maybe it was the carnival, the almost kiss and the prospect that that could be their future.
The very love she has been trying to find, that she’s been mourning the loss of, has been in front of her this whole time.
And as this realization begins to calm, Hyunjin notices what song she’s been playing as it’s slowly coming to an end. Hyunjin gazes tenderly at Jinsol, the words softly falling from her lips. “I love you, I love you, I love you like never before.”
Jinsol is too wrapped in her book to really notice.
Hyunjin is overwhelmed with the feeling and with knowing she gets to spend the rest of her life with Jinsol. But just as quickly as that thought crosses her mind, another thought crashes in, bringing her back to reality.
What if she doesn’t feel the same way?
As much as the thought hurts, as much as it chips away at the happiness that she only had a moment to revel in, Hyunjin is okay. She’s content knowing she can spend her life making Jinsol happy. If that’s all she gets, she’s okay with that.
When the final chords of the song ring out, Jinsol sets her book down and looks at Hyunjin who smiles bashfully. Heat settles on the younger’s cheeks and for a second, she thinks Jinsol may have heard her.
“Sorry, I was in my own little world there,” Jinsol smiles back. “We should go find some food, I’m starving.”
“Maybe if you didn’t skip lunch to watch me practice archery at the range,” Hyunjin jokes, resting her guitar against her chair.
“And miss you showing off for me? I think not!” Jinsol crosses over to her and pulls her out of her seat. She wraps an arm around Hyunjin’s waist to keep her close.
“I wasn’t showing off. I’m always that good.”
“Yeah,” Jinsol whispers, looking into Hyunjin’s eyes, “you are.”
Hyunjin’s face reddens more, her stomach erupting in butterflies that don’t settle as Jinsol lets go to link their hands together.
Yeah, she’s a goner.
The next day, Chaewon and Yeojin walk through the halls toward the second floor terrace. Hyejoo invited them to join her friends for the afternoon and Chaewon was not going to pass up the opportunity to spend time with her. Over the past couple weeks, Hyejoo has begun to relax around Chaewon. Though she still maintains that clumsy charm that Chaewon loves about her.
The pair are a little late to meet the others but only because Yeojin had to do something else first.
“Are you going to tell her yet?” Chaewon sighs as they ascend the back staircase near the kitchen. Yeojin had just finished the treat basket for Yerim and dropped it at her door.
“She doesn’t feel that way about me,” Yeojin says. “You even said that Hyejoo thinks she has a crush on the secret admirer.”
“You are the secret admirer,” Chaewon all but yells, an exasperated crossing her face.
“But Yerim doesn’t know that.” Yeojin shakes her head. She knows it sounds silly. Yes, she is the secret admirer, but what if she doesn’t live up to the idea that Yerim has in her head? That would hurt more than waiting in silence.
Chaewon doesn’t agree and groans. “Apparently brains come with height.”
“Hey! You’re not much taller!”
“Still taller and clearly smarter,” Chaewon rolls her eyes.
“I’m happy with how things are,” Yeojin looks over at Chaewon. By the blank expression she sends back, Yeojin knows she’s not convincing anyone.
“Like I said, the taller you are the smarter you are, and you are severely lacking in both departments.” Chaewon nudges Yeojin with a smile. “Whatever happens you have me, okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Yeojin smiles, “but I will prove your height-brains theory is incorrect.”
In the opposite hallway, Jinsol and Hyunjin are also walking toward the second floor terrace. Hyejoo, Yerim, and Hyunjin have concocted a new game to play, apparently, but have kept Jinsol relatively in the dark. Hyunjin claims it’s to maintain the sanctity of the game—her words not Jinsol’s. Jinsol doesn’t care either way, she just wants something to keep her mind off what happened at the carnival.
She explained through broken sobs and a hoarse voice her side of the story with Jungeun. Not just why they fought at the carnival, but everything. From the first day they met, to the tiny crush that bloomed when they were teenagers, to her confession the day Jungeun left, and everything in between. She didn’t skip a single detail because she needed Hyunjin to know, to understand why this felt like a deep cut.
Unsurprisingly, Hyunjin listened with rapt attention and complete understanding because when hasn’t she? She didn’t try to explain it away or find a solution, she just let Jinsol let it out. It helped. A little bit anyway. Enough for Jinsol to feel less weight on her shoulders when they landed in Fiore later that night. But not enough to remove the lead in the pit of her stomach when she thinks about Jungeun.
It had been a betrayal and it doesn’t help that she sees Jungeun and Heejin all over the palace grounds. Doesn’t help that Hyunjin still spends time with Heejin.
She’s not as mad at Jungeun as she had been before, but it hurts to know that Jungeun didn’t trust her.
“Over there is where Yerim hid for half a day during a game of hide and seek,” Hyunjin points to a small closet built into the paneling of the wall. Easily missed if someone didn’t know to look there. “But this, this is my favorite hiding spot.”
Jinsol smiles at Hyunjin who has been recounting all their best hiding spots throughout the palace grounds. And the worst hiding spots.
Jinsol shakes her head, ridding her mind of the more frustrating thoughts and focusing instead on Hyunjin. She’s standing in front of a wood paneled wall, a large painting hanging beside her. The frame of painting is thick, intricate, with finely detailed carvings on the square block corners.
“It’s hard to find this spot,” Hyunjin grins. “No one wants to mess with a painting in a palace but—” she twists the right corner of the painting closest to her and a wall across the hall pops open a crack. “The palace has a lot of secrets.”
“How did you ever find this?” Jinsol asks as Hyunjin pushes the wall shut.
“I saw my mom go in one day when I was little,” Hyunjin takes Jinsol’s hand. “She stopped using it as much as I got older. But it’s the best place to hide when I don’t want to be found. Not even Hye or Yerim know about this one.”
Hyunjin remembers the countless hours she’d spend in the hidden room, lounging among fluffy pillows and blankets, snack wrappers scattered around her. It’s where she hid in the earlier days of knowing she had to get married, when the fear and disgust at the idea had been too much. Now she can’t even imagine why she felt that way to begin with, not when it led her to Jinsol.
“Why are you showing me?”
Smiling at her, Hyunjin holds Jinsol’s hand a little tighter, “In case you want to find me.”
When they reach the terrace, Jinsol sees Hyejoo and Yerim standing there with matching grins. But that isn’t the only thing that matches. The pair are also wearing identical outfits and styling as Hyunjin. She does a triple take and then turns to Hyunjin with furrowed brows.
“What is—”
“We’ll explain as soon as Chae gets here,” Hyejoo says.
“And Yeojin,” Yerim adds.
Hyunjin giggles behind her hand, “Can’t forget about your girlfriends.”
Both shoot her daggers.
Jinsol has to stop herself from laughing with Hyunjin. The past couple weeks Hyejoo and Yerim have been so preoccupied with Chaewon and Yeojin. Hyunjin has barely had a chance to spend any time with them. They’ve been so wrapped up in their crushes there isn’t a lot of time for Hyunjin left over, outside of duties they have to do together.
And the occasional sleepover. That had been something that had taken Jinsol by surprise. Though, she didn’t mind it. The nights that Yerim and Hyejoo slept in their suite, Jinsol spent the night in her private suite. Hyunjin had insisted that she didn’t need to leave, but Jinsol could see that it had been a routine for their whole lives. That’s not something she wants to get in the way of, even if sleeping without Hyunjin beside her had been difficult. She’d much rather Hyunjin be able to get that time with her best friends.
“Is there a reason you look like triplets?” Yeojin asks as her and Chaewon walk onto the terrace.
Chaewon is quick to walk to Hyejoo’s side and hug her.
“We-we were going to—” Hyejoo blushes furiously still reeling from Chaewon’s arms around her waist.
“We’re going to play a game!” Yerim claps, bouncing on her toes.
“A game…?” Jinsol asks.
“But we can tell you all apart, that’s not much of a game,” Yeojin scoffs.
“Are you sure you? If you had to guess who’s who, you could spend the whole game staring at Yer—” Chaewon starts to say as she comes back to stand next to Yeojin.
Yeojin slaps her hand over Chaewon’s mouth. “What’s the game?” She yelps when Chae bites down on her hand. The others give them curious glances but say nothing.
“It goes back to our roots,” Yerim gestures from Hyunjin to join her and Hyejoo.
“You say that like we’re old,” Hyejoo says.
“Ignoring you!” Yerim links her arms with Hyejoo and Hyunjin. They stand together, dark hair against identical green shirts and a pair of shorts. At a quick glance, they look similar. “It’s called Hide Hyunjin: Extreme Edition.”
“Hide Hyunjin?” Chaewon lifts a brow.
“Are we, like, shoving her in a closet and leaving her there?” Yeojin glances dubiously at them.
“I dunno if she wants to go back in the closet,” Jinsol teases.
“I don’t!” Hyunjin chimes in.
“Anyway!” Yerim calls the attention back to her. “Instead of Hyunjin hiding while we laugh at the guards bumbling around the palace grounds trying to find her, we thought up a new way to play—”
“—since we have more people,” Hyejoo finishes. “Which is why it’s the extreme edition.”
“Basically, Hye, Yerim, and I will hide somewhere on the grounds and you three have to alert the guards,” Hyunjin explains, “Whoever finds me first, wins.”
“What do we get if we win?” Jinsol asks. Her heart beats faster when Hyunjin locks eyes with her.
“A crown, I hope,” Chaewon says.
“Bragging rights,” Yerim suggests.
“Boo!” Chaewon crosses her arm with a pout.
“I want a cape,” Yeojin says, holding her arms out, and pulling them back in, imitating Dracula.
“Within reason! I can’t give you family heirlooms,” Hyunjin shakes her head and the others stand by thinking of what could be the prize.
“What if we want something else?” Jinsol asks, eyes boring into Hyunjin.
Hyunjin gulps at the intensity of the gaze, her mind racing back to the charged moment in the mirror maze. “All you have to do is ask.”
“Please get a room,” Hyejoo groans at the couple.
“You get a room!” Hyunjin calls back, tearing her eyes away from Jinsol. Both of their hearts hammer rapidly against their ribs.
“Both of you, shut up.” Yerim runs a hand down her face.
“Oh, you’re one to talk, you’ve been whining about those baskets all week,” Hyejoo calls her out, her glare turning toward Yerim.
Neither see Chaewon and Yeojin exchange a suspicious look.
“So, are we going to play?” Jinsol asks, breaking up the arguments.
Hyunjin smiles at her. “Right, yes! We’ll go hide, give us ten minutes then it’s game on.” She presses a kiss to her cheek before dashing off with Yerim and Hyejoo on her heels.
“I’m gonna win this. I want that crown,” Chaewon narrows her eyes at Jinsol and Yeojin.
“You’re not refined enough to be a princess,” Yeojin snorts.
“I’m plenty refined!” Chaewon argues back.
Jinsol watching in amusement as the two bicker back and forth. Too headstrong to back down.
“Jinsol, help me out here.” Yeojin turns toward her with a pleading look.
“I think…” Jinsol looks at Chaewon who raises her brows as if daring her to take Yeojin’s side. “I think it’s been ten minutes, bye!” Jinsol runs down the hallway away from them, leaving the two to glare at each other again.
Chaewon yells after her, “You don’t even need a crown! You have your own!”
“I think she wants something else,” Yeojin waggles her brows.
“Disgusting.”
The two realize they’re the only ones left and take off down the hallway, too. Pushing and shoving each other before splitting off down different hallways.
Jinsol wanders through the back garden trying to find Hyunjin’s hiding spot. Guards frantically yell as they continue their own search looking for the princess. Their voices echo through the garden, static from their radios follow each of them around as other guards give status reports. She can see Wendy, Irene, and Nayoung calling to each other, gesturing to new locations and clearing other ones.
Jinsol thought maybe Hyunjin had hidden outside because there’s more places to hide. There’s the hedge maze, the flower garden, the various sheds and the green house. There’s even that secret hide away that Hyunjin pointed out once on a walk around the pond, but never actually brought Jinsol in there. Hyunjin had said it’s a place she only goes every so often to think and Jinsol knows that she wouldn’t find Hyunjin there. It seems special to be used for a simple game of Hide Hyunjin.
“Damn it, Hyejoo! I thought you were Hyunjin!”
Spinning around, Jinsol finds Chaewon pulling Hyejoo out of one of the garden sheds nearby. Hyejoo stumbles forward, a blushing covering her cheeks. She rubs awkwardly at the back of her neck.
“Sorry to disappoint,” Hyejoo says.
“No, not disappointed,” Chaewon takes Hyejoo’s hand with a smile, “but you’re gonna help me find her.”
“I know all her hiding spots in the palace, I know just where to look,” Hyejoo pulls Chaewon forward and they head off into the palace.
Jinsol stares after them for a minute before a lightbulb goes off in her head. Hyejoo’s words reminded her of the conversation she had with Hyunjin earlier in the day. Hyejoo may know most of Hyunjin’s hiding places, but she doesn’t know them all. Especially not the one that’s found using that antique painting in the hall.
She runs toward the palace, though toward the opposite side than Hyejoo and Chaewon had entered. Guards watch as she passes by them, though none think to follow her. Thankfully. Jinsol is hell bent on winning this game. Not for the crown or the cape or any other material thing but for the one thing she has been wanting to ask Hyunjin for.
Inside the palace, Jinsol turns the corner toward the first staircase and nearly crashes into Yeojin and Yerim. Both jump out of her way as she skitters to a stop at the bottom of the stairs.
“Where’s the fire?” Yeojin asks.
“You know where she is, don’t you?” Yerim narrows her eyes. She doesn’t particularly care if Jinsol finds her first, she’s mostly happy that Yeojin was the one who found her. Although, that had kind of been a given since Yerim had hidden in the kitchen pantry, but that was a part of the plan.
“Uh, nope, no, I have no clue…” Jinsol stammers. She glances over her shoulder, “Actually, yes I do but I’m…I’m leading you away from her! Yup, yeah, she’s definitely not in the garden maze.” Jinsol doesn’t wait for them to respond before she rushes up the staircase, her feet pattering heavily against the floor.
Yerim wraps her fingers around Yeojin’s wrist stopping her from chasing after Jinsol.
“But she’s gonna win!”
“Let her,” Yerim smiles, “we can spend some time together now.” Yerim has a feeling that Hyunjin is somewhere only Jinsol can find her, or knows to find her. Her and Yeojin have scoured the palace and the garden over the past hour, hitting all the places that Yerim knows Hyunjin could hide in. They’ve come up empty handed otherwise. So unless Hyunjin is moving her spots, she’s probably deliberately hiding somewhere just for Jinsol.
It's a set up. And really, Yerim can’t really find it in her to care that Hyunjin had this all planned. Not with the big smile Yeojin sends her way.
“Okay!” Yeojin says, letting Yerim lace their fingers together.
“We can play games in my suite.”
Yeojin barely registers what Yerim is saying, the only thought running through her mind is how soft Yerim’s hand actually is. But as they get closer to Yerim’s suite, Yeojin realizes something.
On the doormat in front of the Bae’s suite is the newest basket she placed just earlier in the day. Unlike all the other times, Yeojin will see Yerim’s reaction to the basket.
“Let me call Hyejoo, her and Chae can join us too!”
“Wait, Yerim, I—” Yeojin tries to stop her, to turn them around, to find another activity to do. One that doesn’t involve her having to see Yerim’s reaction.
But it’s too late. Yerim’s eyes land on the basket on the floor, neatly tied in a purple ribbon, treats visible through the clear wrapping. There’s something familiar about the packaging, she swears she’s seen it before, and not just on the other baskets she’s received.
“Oh…” Yerim picks up the basket, a slow growing smile tugs at her lips. Yeojin feels her heart flutter in her chest at the sight. “I thought they forgot about me.”
Yeojin frowns and whispers, “I could never.”
“Hmm?” Yerim glances up at her curiously.
“I…um, I mean, how could anyone forget about you?” Yeojin swallows thickly, trying to keep her eyes on Yerim to avoid suspicion. But her cheeks are burning with embarrassment and she can’t stop shifting on her feet. What could really be that bad about Yerim knowing? Yeojin isn’t sure, but she knows that she doesn’t want to find out right now.
Yerim tilts her head with an endearing smile, “You’re sweet. Come on, I’ll share some of this with you.” She opens the door and Yeojin follows her with an inaudible sigh.
Soon, Yeojin tells herself. Soon she’ll confess and deal with whatever happens next. Right now, though, she’s happy leaning against Yerim’s side on the couch as they split a chocolate bar while they wait for their friends.
Back upstairs, Jinsol finds the hallway she and Hyunjin were in earlier. She’s tried every corner of the painting muttering to herself trying to remember how to open the secret door.
“Do I push it? Pull it?” Jinsol scratches her head. “Turn it?”
Finally, the door pops open across the hall and she scrambles over toward it. Her hands shake as she closes the door behind her. In front of her is a long hallway, minimal light shining from the dim string lights that line the wall. Jinsol is jittery, curious, not sure where this moment might lead her, but trying not to let her hopes up. There’s really only one thing she wants. One thing she wishes she hadn’t done in the heat of the moment all those weeks ago so this could be the first one. The proper one. So that neither of them continued to second guess what they are to each other.
Her breath catches when the room opens up and she sees Hyunjin lounging among pillows and blankets. The sky light above her sends sunlight streaming in, casting an angelic glow all around Hyunjin.
“Took you long enough,” Hyunjin whispers, a grin curling on her lips. “I was starting to think you didn’t want to find me.”
“I got here eventually, didn’t I?” Jinsol teases.
“Eh, could’ve been faster.”
Jinsol fully enters the small room, flopping down on the pillows beside Hyunjin.
“I gave you the biggest hint, Sol,” Hyunjin says.
“Maybe I wanted to make you sweat a bit.” Jinsol nudges Hyunjin with her arm, making the younger look up at her. “Why, were you worried?”
“Not worried, but I did want to spend some alone time with you.”
“We have a lot of alone time together, Hyun.”
“There’s something I’ve been wanting but I didn’t know how else to get it,” Hyunjin whispers, her eyes boring in Jinsol’s. Their bodies are pressed close together, hands slowly reaching for each other.
“Should I ask for my prize now, I did win after all…” Jinsol bites her lip, watching as Hyunjin leans just a bit closer.
“Yeah, you did.”
“I want you to ki—” Jinsol starts when another voice interrupts her.
“Hyunnie? Sweetheart are you in here?” Vivi calls as she walks into the room. Her eyes widen at the sight of Hyunjin practically on top of Jinsol. “Oh…um…”
“Mom!” Hyunjin yells, moving away from Jinsol. Both princesses blush profusely.
Vivi clears her throat, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt you two. The whole palace is looking for you, Hyunjin. I was worried.”
“Yes, well, you found me,” Hyunjin grumbles.
“I’m sorry, Your Majesty. We were just playing a game,” Jinsol says, trying to take the attention away from Hyunjin.
“A game…is that what you’re calling it nowadays?” Vivi lifts a brow. Hyunjin and Jinsol feel their faces growing even more red with the passing seconds. “Very well, I’ll call off the guards. Please come back out soon and no funny business is here, understood?”
“Mom! Stop!” Hyunjin cries as her mom leaves the room. She falls back against the pillows while Jinsol laughs at her. It only takes a moment before Jinsol lays down beside Hyunjin, hands intertwining as they stare up at the sky through the skylight. Disappointed that yet another intimate moment has been shattered between them. Both women desperately hope that they can get their real kiss one of these days.
Outside the secret room, Vivi closes the door with a smile. She remembers all the afternoons and nights she spent hidden away in that room as a teenager. All the times her and Haseul would sneak away from their duties and lock themselves in that very room. Their first dates and first kisses taking place under that very skylight. Though a lot of that room has changed since Hyunjin has started using it, Vivi’s memories of it stay intact.
With those thoughts in mind, Vivi goes in search of Haseul.
In the mountains in Dahlia the next day, the Kim-Wongs and the Jungs sit in the backyard of the lake side cottage. The two families finally have a chance to spend time together without the formalities of royal life. Today they’re just two families who are going to join together through marriage. Simple. Relaxed. Or as relaxed as they can be with all the people bustling around the backyard.
Jessica comes back out of the house and is struck with the loud sounds of laughter and chatter coming from the group. In her hand is another pitcher of lemonade for the adults lounging on the patio. In front of them is a massive expanse of grass leading down to the dock and lake. The picnic table is covered in a variety of food and drinks. Next to it an intense game of ladder ball is going on between Hyejoo, Wendy, Irene, and Yerim. Across the yard, Jinsol and Hyunjin are playing with bubbles with Yeji and Yerin; the four of them are laughing loudly at Yerin’s inability to make a bubble.
Jessica places the new pitcher on the small table next to the older adults and settles on the edge of the same lounge chair as Sunny. The other woman smiles at her, hand running down her back soothingly before retreating.
Krystal catches the movement from her spot nestled against Bora’s chest in the lounge chair beside them. She doesn’t say anything though and takes a sip from her drink instead.
There’s a calm that is settled over all of them. Not a single duty that they have to attend to. No business talk or any conversation about their countries. For the first time in who knows how long, the royal families get a chance to be normal. Average.
“This is nice,” Vivi sighs, running her hand through Haseul’s short hair. They’re sitting similar to Krystal and Bora, relaxing in their lover’s arms.
“After the month we’ve all had, it’s a deserved break,” Jessica nods with Sunny rubbing her back. She sinks into the touch.
“It really is, planning the flower blooming party for next week has been hectic,” Vivi says.
“No royal business talk,” Haseul begs with her eyes closed.
Sunny hums in agreement, “I’m with Haseul.”
The two royal advisors share an exhausted smile. While the royal families have to handle their business, it’s the advisors that set it all up. They run interference, create schedules, organize events. While the Queens and Princesses get a break when the day is over, the advisors keep working. If anyone wants a break, it’s Sunny and Haseul.
“I’d rather know how Haseul and Vivi met,” Bora grins only for Krystal to gently hit her leg. They share a silent disagreement as Krystal claims it’s not appropriate to ask the Queen of Fiore that, while Bora is adamant that they’re all there as regular people today. Their interrupted by Vivi responding.
“We won’t bore you with that—”
“Oh,” Haseul turns her head to look at Vivi, “so now it’s boring?”
“Now I need to know,” Jessica leans in. “Just between family, of course.”
All eyes turn toward Vivi and Haseul now, excitement in their eyes, curiosity in their smiles. It’s a story neither Haseul nor Vivi have ever really told to anyone. Even Hyunjin doesn’t know this one. For the most part, people just know the basics, never what actually brought them together completely.
Vivi blushes and looks away. Hesitant on telling the story.
“Guess I’ll tell the story,” Haseul says. “My dad was the head chef at the palace when I was eighteen. I worked in the kitchen with him.”
Vivi groans behind her, “Seulie, please…”
“Her Majesty here had a big crush on me.”
“You’re embellishing!” Vivi cries, heat settling on her cheeks. Haseul twists in her seat, raising a brow at her.
“Then you tell it.” There’s a challenge in Haseul’s voice and Vivi isn’t going to back down from it. The other’s watch with soft smiles as the couple bickers.
“Fine. Yes, I thought the new chef’s daughter was cute.”
“So, you spied on me,” Haseul adds.
“Who’s telling the story, me or you?” Vivi asks and Haseul raises her hands and zips her lips. “I thought Haseul was cute, but I didn’t know how to talk to her. They don’t really teach you how to flirt during Princess lessons.”
“That’s apparent,” Bora mutters, bringing a blush to Krystal’s cheeks.
Jessica snickers at her sister’s discomfort until Sunny nods in agreement with Bora.
“I was trying to find out what Haseul liked so I could surprise her or something, so I hid in the secret room attached to the kitchen.”
“Your palace has secret passages?” Sunny asks.
“Ours does too,” Krystal says leaving both Sunny and Bora staring at the women in confusion. Neither had ever noticed a secret room before. They suppose that’s what makes it a secret.
Haseul takes over the store, hand finding its way into Vivi’s. “One day I hear this loud thud and then someone curses. Next thing I know this grate falls off the wall and I see Vivi staring down at me.”
“I was mortified,” Vivi grimaces, biting her lip. “Still am.”
“And then she goes, ‘do you like cheese?’” Haseul laughs, a lovestruck smile gracing her lips.
“Cheese?” Jessica joins in the laughter, holding her stomach. “You asked her about cheese?”
“It was the first thing I could think of! I still stand by the fact that I had just hit my head.” Vivi flops back against the lounge chair, still as embarrassed now as she had been then.
Everyone in the group is laughing now, wondering how such a mischievous person could become this regal figure they see now. Though, Jessica understands the most. The duty of a Queen doesn’t leave room for the more frivolous things in life.
“I knew from that moment I’d love her forever,” Haseul stares at Vivi softly. They’re trapped in a moment together, eyes locked, hearts full, remembering the day that this decades long journey began. However long it took, Vivi is just happy to have Haseul in her arms now.
“It’s no wonder Jinsol says Hyunjin is mischievous,” Krystal says. “Her mom was doing the same stuff.”
“Do I even want to know what Hyunjin and the others have been getting up to?” Vivi sighs.
“Probably not,” Krystal grins.
As if on cue, Hyunjin’s laughter carries through the yard, reaching the couples at the patio. They all turn and look to see Jinsol running away from Yeji who has a bow in her hand. She’s chasing the youngest Jung, pretending to shoot arrows at her. Yerin is walking away from them heading toward the older adults.
She takes a seat in a chair across from them, her smile widening when she hears Yeji’s giggles get louder. The other adults around her smile with her, each aware of the reason Yeji is there with them today.
Yerin made it pretty clear to her sister’s that she wants to adopt Yeji. Jessica and Krystal had seen it coming. The amount of time Yerin spends with the little girl at the children’s home and how often she takes her out was clue enough. But when Yerin asked if she could bring Yeji to the family picnic today to meet everyone, they really put the pieces together.
“What do you think?” Yerin asks Jessica.
“She fits in well with our family. She really seems comfortable.”
“How many times have you taken her out?” Krystal asks.
“Like five or more times, she doesn’t seem to know why yet, but she’s having fun. I think she’s used to me and her hanging out, so it’s not really clicking yet,” Yerin shrugs, eyes finding Yeji again. She’s running toward her now with the bow in her hand.
“Yerin!” Yeji yells as she barrels into her lap. “Hyun and Jinnie said I needed to ask you first.”
“Ask me what?” Yerin runs her hand over her head gently.
“To shoot an arrow! Hyun says she’ll teach me and told me you can blame her if I get hurt.”
Yerin glances at Hyunjin and Jinsol. They’re leaning into each other, Jinsol’s arm wrapped around Hyunjin’s waist as they talk quietly to each other.
“Hyunjin’s been doing archery since she was a kid, she’s taught a lot of her friends how to do it, too. Yeji will be safe with her,” Vivi adds.
Yerin nods, “Okay, but let Hyunjin know if you get hurt, I won’t be kind to her.”
Yeji squeals and scrambles off her lap.
“Yeji, wait,” Jessica beckons her over. “Want a tip?” Yeji nods rapidly. “When you let go of the arrow, slowly breathe out at the same time. If you hit the target, I’ll get the chefs to make you a treat.”
“And if I miss?” Yeji tilts her head.
“…I’ll still get the chefs to make you a treat because you tried and that’s what matters.”
Yeji smiles and gives Jessica a thumbs up before running back toward Jinsol and Hyunjin. Yerin shakes her head at her sister. It’s been like that all day. With everyone. They all spoil the little girl rotten. Not that Yerin can blame them, Yeji just has that kind of power over all of them. Yet the little girl doesn’t take advantage of it either.
“You’re nicer to her already than you ever were to me,” Yerin points out.
“Or me,” Krystal adds.
“She’s cuter,” Jessica shrugs, the rest of the group laughs at the siblings.
Not a moment later, a loud cheer comes from the three at the archery range. Everyone in the yard turns to see Hyunjin lifting Yeji into the air spinning her around shouting.
“Center! Center! On your first shot!” Hyunjin is grinning from ear to ear. “Yeji, you’re a natural!”
“I’m a natural!” Yeji mimics.
Everyone is watching them with matching smiles and misty eyes. It’s clear to them all that Yeji belongs here, belongs with this family.
Later in the day, Jessica and Yerin have left to bring Yeji back to the Dahlia Palace. The children’s home in Clara is still under renovations, so the trip to bring Yeji back isn’t too far.
Irene and Wendy are sitting close together on the dock, heads bent together. Yerim nudges Hyejoo beside her.
“Wendy has been coming over a lot lately,” she says.
“Really?” Hyejoo is sitting on the grass, Hyunjin and Jinsol laying side by side near them. Both lost in their own world per usual. “I mean, they’re friends right?”
“I think they’re dating.” Yerim shrugs. “I’m not sure, honestly.”
Hyejoo falls quiet for a minute. “Wanna spy on them?”
The two exchange a mischievous grin before sprinting off toward the woods near the dock. A large tree branch hangs over the water near the end of the dock. The pair are certain they can climb out on it without a problem.
Jinsol sees them but doesn’t have the energy to tell them it’s probably not the best idea.
“What are you thinking about?” Hyunjin asks, sitting up to look at Jinsol.
“That your friends are probably gonna get hurt.”
“They’ll be fine,” Hyunjin waves her off. “I mean before the two idiots went off to mess with Irene and Wendy.”
Jinsol doesn’t say anything. Hyunjin moves toward her, lifting her head and placing it into her lap. She runs her fingers through the blonde hair, gently massaging her head. She scratches lightly at the base of her head and Jinsol begins to relax a bit more. Melting into Hyunjin’s touch.
“I’m thinking about Jungeun,” Jinsol admits. She feels Hyunjin’s fingers freeze. “Not like that, but…like as my friend. She really hurt me you know?”
“Do you think you hurt her too?”
“Yeah,” Jinsol sighs. She catches Hyunjin’s eye with a frown. “I was angry. I felt betrayed and I know I’ve told you all this before, but I’m still hurting. I trusted her with everything, and she didn’t trust me with shit. Am I not trustworthy? Like, is there something I did to make her think she couldn’t confide in me?”
“You’ll have to ask her that, I can’t answer for her,” Hyunjin says.
“What if it’s bad? What if I messed up really bad and that’s why she never trusted me?”
“Then you listen, you apologize, and you learn from it. You’re human, Jinsol. You’re not perfect, you’re going to make mistakes and fuck things up sometimes, but it’s what you do when you’re faced with that feedback that matters.” Hyunjin smiles at her softly. “It doesn’t make you a bad person to make mistakes.”
Jinsol nods slowly, taking in the words. A new level of calm washes over her. One she never thought she’d ever achieve. She’s always tried to be perfect. She holds herself to such a high standard, to higher expectations. The youngest of the Jung royal family, the one who received the most criticism and scolding growing up. She had never been proper enough, regal enough, thoughtful enough. Her whole life she wanted to be perfect, to get things right on the first try, to be the gold standard. Perfect Princess. Perfect sister. Perfect friend. Perfect wife.
Now here Hyunjin is telling her exactly what she needed to hear. Similar words to ones she’s heard before from other people in her life, but none held the same weight or care.
“I’m still not ready to talk to her,” Jinsol says.
“You’re not ready or you’re too scared?”
Jinsol doesn’t have a chance to answer, not that she wanted to anyway, because a short scream and a loud splash grab their attention. Down at the docks, Yerim and Hyejoo break through the surface of the lake sputtering. The branch that was above the water, now sits partially in the water and on the dock.
Hyunjin is too busy laughing to realize that Jinsol hasn’t answered her question. Jinsol knows the real honest answer is that she’s afraid of what Jungeun might say, of what Jinsol may be confronted with. Maybe she’ll get the courage one day, but for now she’s going to push the thoughts aside and join Hyunjin in laughing at their friends.
A week later, the Queen of the Night Blooming party is in full swing. The side of the palace is packed, dignitaries and special guests spill out of the green house and into the garden. Fairy lights twinkle in the trees casting a magical glow all around them. Stars shine in the sky beside the crescent moon illuminating the night in their own way.
Guests from all over the continent have made their way to the palace in Fiore to witness the blooming of these flowers. Queen of the Night flowers only bloom once a year and while the timing is never truly exact, they usually bloom at this time. Vivi keeps a keen eye on the flowers throughout the year and as they begin to look as if they may bloom soon, the invitations go out.
Tonight, is the night the flowers may bloom, and as the night wears on the flowers begin their slow blooming process. Inching toward midnight, the guests wait around in the warm late summer night waiting to see the Queen of the Night flowers bloom in all their splendor.
Hyunjin stands in the garden around a tall table with Jinsol, Hyejoo, and Yerim. Each holds a tall flute of champagne in their hands, talking idly and people watching like they always do at these events. Jinsol stands close to Hyunjin, one arm loosely wrapped around her waist, fingers splayed on her hip.
Hyunjin is looking up at Jinsol staring at her side profile as she laughs with Hyejoo and Yerim about something. She really has no idea, she tuned out a while ago when Jinsol first placed her hand on her hip. The light grip and the proximity of Jinsol is making Hyunjin’s brain go haywire and heart flutter. Jinsol is invading all her senses and she really couldn’t care less about what the other three are talking about.
“Hey, Hyun, don’t look now, but your crush is walking this way,” Hyejoo smirks, jutting her chin out toward the gates to the garden.
Jinsol’s head snaps in the direction, a nauseous feeling overcoming her at the idea of Hyunjin having a crush. Walking into the party is a beautiful woman with dark red hair. Guests all around her turn to look as she glides gracefully across the lawn. Body wrapped in a matching silver two piece dress that shines in the light. Just a sliver of skin peaking between the crop top and long skirt.
Jinsol’s grip on Hyunjin’s waist tightens.
“Duchess Rosé is looking good tonight, Hyun. Make sure not to drool!” Yerim says. Her and Hyejoo start giggling.
“Shut up,” Hyunjin mutters. “I do not have a crush on her.”
“Anymore,” Yerim says between her laughs.
Hyunjin rolls her eyes and finally glances over to where the other three are looking. Her jaw slacks when she sees Rosé coming toward them. It has been a while since Hyunjin has seen the duchess. They’re close in age and have grown up in the same circles, much like she has with Jinsol. The only difference is that Rosé is actually from Fiore and they’ve spent much more time together in and out of the royal circuit.
Nothing has ever come of her crush on Rosé. Really she just thinks the woman is beautiful and Rosé has always looked out for Hyunjin on multiple occasions. They’re close, though Hyunjin is well aware that Rosé thinks of her as a little sister more than anything else. Doesn’t mean her crush lessened because of that fact.
“You totally still have a crush on her,” Hyejoo points at Hyunjin’s cheeks. “You’re blushing!”
“It’s always Rosie this, Rosie that,” Yerim adds.
“She doesn’t like being called that,” Hyunjin says, trying to make her burning face cool down.
“Unless it’s you,” Hyejoo grins.
“Did you see Rosie at the banquet?” Yerim continues to mimic Hyunjin, taunting her. “Isn’t Rosie so pretty? Catch me, Hyejoo, I think I’m gonna faint.”
Yerim dramatically throws herself backwards into Hyejoo’s arms, fanning herself with her hand. Hyejoo catches her, thankfully.
“You’re both so annoying,” Hyunjin grumbles, taking a sip from her glass. Beside her, Jinsol clenches her jaw, though it seems she’s been forgotten in the moment.
“Not talking about me, are you Hyunjin?” Rosé says as she strides up to the group. In her hand is a long wooden box.
Jinsol sees Hyunjin’s glass nearly slip out of her hand. While Hyunjin is normally composed around everyone she speaks to aside from Jinsol, she is also less than eloquent when it comes to speaking to Rosé. That does nothing to make the knot in Jinsol’s stomach lessen.
“I, um…no, not you, Rosie,” Hyunjin stammers.
Yerim and Hyejoo stumble over each other as they cackle. Opting to walk away from them instead of causing more of a scene.
“They’re still as weird as ever,” Rosé laughs. She wraps Hyunjin in a hug that pulls her from Jinsol’s grasp. It’s a tight embrace, one that lingers a moment longer than Jinsol is comfortable with. The moment Rosé releases Hyunjin, Jinsol wraps her arm back around her fiancée. “It’s good to see you! You look stunning tonight, it’s unreal. Not that I expected anything less from you.”
Rosé winks and Jinsol sees green.
Hyunjin, on the other hand, knows that’s just how Rosé is, how she’s always been. She’s flirty, comfortable, touchy, but it never bothered Hyunjin for obvious reasons. Rosé flirts with everyone.
Jinsol clears her throat. “I don’t think we’ve met.”
“My apologies, Your Highness,” Rosé says with a curtsy. “Duchess Rosé.”
“Jinsol, Hyunjin’s fiancée.”
Jinsol’s grip tightens on Hyunjin’s waist and that’s when Hyunjin sees it. That glint in Jinsol’s eyes, one she’s seen when Heejin is nearby, except this one is different. Especially when met with Rosé’s smirk.
Hyunjin opts to break whatever staring contest the two are having. “Rosie, how are you?”
“Good! I won’t bore you with my life, I actually came over to congratulate you on your engagement. And give you this gift,” Rosé taps the box in her hand.
Hyunjin smiles graciously as she takes the box and opens it. Inside, resting against a black velvet cushion is a primrose made of gold. “Rosie…this is beautiful.”
“They symbolize eternal love. It’s made of gold, too, so it won’t wilt or die. It’s truly going to last forever,” Rosé looks between the young couple with a soft smile. “That’s my wish for you to have that in your marriage.”
Hyunjin places the closed box on the table and hugs Rosé once again. “Thank you so much, that means so much to me.”
Rosé kisses her on the cheek before separating. She gives Jinsol one last polite smile before walking off into the party. Jinsol watches her go with a scowl.
“What?” Hyunjin asks as she beckons a staff member over to her. She asks them to bring the gift to her room before looking back at Jinsol.
“Nothing, nothing, you two just seemed cozy,” Jinsol swirls her drink in her glass before swallowing the rest of the contents.
“I’ve known her since I was a kid.”
“You’ve never told me about her. It’s just odd, that’s all, considering how close you are,” Jinsol shrugs.
Hyunjin leans out of Jinsol’s touch and looks at her curiously. “Must’ve slipped my mind. Rosie is just a friend.”
Jinsol takes a deep breath trying to reign in her unease. She knows Rosé is just a friend, if she had been important Hyunjin would have mentioned her sooner. Rationally, she knows that.
Doesn’t mean she’s any less jealous.
She tamps down the feeling and pulls Hyunjin closer again, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. “Shall we take a spin around the green house?”
“Let’s.” Hyunjin smiles, “But those flowers have nothing on your beauty.”
Jinsol throws her head back laughing and guides them toward the greenhouse.
Later in the night, Vivi and Haseul are sitting together near the Queen of the Night flowers. Every year, Vivi sits on the same ornate bench beside the flowers as guests filter in and out of the green house. They greet her, comment on the flowers, and then move on. Same routine as it is every year.
“We do this party annually and I still worry the flowers won’t bloom,” Haseul says, her hand on Vivi’s thigh.
“It’ll become a weeklong party until they do bloom,” Vivi shrugs. She waves to another dignitary as they pass by.
“I don’t think I could handle all these people for longer than a day,” Haseul leans over to whisper in Vivi’s ear so no one else hears her. That would be a nightmare.
“Am I included in that?” Vivi turns to look at Haseul. Her stomach flutters at the teasing grin that spreads across her lips.
“On some days.” Vivi feigns a gasp. Haseul laughs, lifting her other hand and brushing her knuckles over Vivi’s cheek. “But not today. You forget I’ve put up with you for over thirty years.”
A laugh slips out of Vivi, “That sounds so loving.”
“You’re a royal pain, but you’re my royal pain.”
“And don’t you forget it,” Vivi kisses her chastely. She can feel Haseul smiling against her lips. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Haseul kisses her again, not caring that there are dignitaries in the room. They’ve spent long enough hiding.
They’re interrupted by a delegate from Hyssop and Haseul takes that moment to slink off. She weaves through the greenhouse toward the back of the room. Greeting people as she goes through and stopping for short conversations.
Lady Jennie and Duchess Rosé talk with her for a minute before excusing themselves to speak with Duchess Saebom. Haseul sees Jessica and Sunny speaking with King Taecyeon and Lord Nichkhun, they wave to her as she passes but thankfully don’t pull her into the conversation.
Not much further away, Krystal and Bora are talking with Duchesses Momo and Sana, and Fiore Prime Minister Jeongyeon. They’re all laughing and raising a glass to Haseul, all asking if the flowers have begun to bloom yet.
Finally, Haseul makes it out of the most crowded area, stumbling upon a table where her daughter and Yerim are sitting together. She sighs with relief at not having to put up the same front she needs with the other dignitaries.
“You two having a good duty free night?” Haseul asks as she approaches them.
“Hi, Mom,” Hyejoo stands and hugs her. “We are, I guess, it’s kinda weird not having to stress about Hyunjin.”
“Or if the party is going smoothly,” Yerim chimes in, sipping from her glass.
“Didn’t feel like inviting your little girlfriend?” Haseul teases.
Hyejoo blinks rapidly, her mouth opening but no words coming out.
“Nice Momseul,” Yerim laughs. “She’ll be broken for a bit at that idea. Leave now while you have the chance. Save yourself.”
“Girl-Girlfriend?” Hyejoo sits back down slowly, eyes unblinking. Yerim pats her friend on her arm and gestures for a waiter to come closer with the alcohol.
Haseul shakes her head and takes her leave from the girls. However, as she walks away, a tall man steps into her space with a wide smile. She’s seen him around before but had never committed his name to memory. He’s one of the smaller nobles in the circuit. Lesser known, doesn’t make big waves, and has not made an impact one way or another.
“I couldn’t help but notice you,” He says. “I’m Jacob Bae, Earl of Amaryllis.”
“Haseul,” She curtseys. “Is there something I can help you with, Lord Jacob?”
“Just Jacob,” He smiles flirtatiously and Haseul takes a step back. “I wanted to get to know you better.” Jacob reaches out, hand brushing against Haseul’s arms.
“Well, first off, I’d rather you didn’t touch me without my permission,” Haseul says.
He retracts his hand, “I’m sorry, Miss. I won’t do it again.” He glances around the green house nervously.
“And second of all, I’m dating the Queen,” Haseul smiles at the mention of Vivi. “And that dark haired girl glaring at you over there? That’s my daughter, the Princess's guard.”
Jacob swallows at the subtle threat, but smiles. “In that case, Her Majesty is a very lucky woman.”
Haseul laughs, relaxing in his company. They may have gotten off on the wrong foot, but Jacob is clearly respecting her boundaries now. Either that, or he really does not want to get on the wrong side of the Queen.
“She is very lucky indeed,” Haseul says.
Across the room, Vivi watches in disdain as Lord Jacob and Haseul laugh together. Her fists curl at her sides wondering what they could possibly be talking about. And why they look so close to begin with.
She hears a huff beside her before her daughter drops into the empty space on the bench. Hyunjin folds her hands on her lap tightly, a frown on her face as she glares into the distance.
“Does my diplomatic immunity cover murder?” Hyunjin asks ruefully. Near the entrance of the greenhouse, Jinsol stands among a group of women from Valo. Among them is, of course, Lady Mina. Along with Lady Minji, Lady Yoohyeon, and Lady Chaeyoung. All of them are giving Jinsol their undivided attention. Hyunjin clenches her jaw as Mina reaches out, running her hand down Jinsol’s arm.
“I was starting to wonder the same thing,” Vivi says as she watches Haseul and Jacob laugh together. “Irene, can you make that man leave?”
“On what grounds, Your Majesty?” Irene asks from her spot beside Vivi.
“On the grounds that he’s pissing me off.”
“Then no.”
“Fine. He looked at me the wrong way,” Vivi says offhandedly. She’d honestly say anything at this point to make the man go away. She doesn’t like the way he’s looking at Haseul.
“In a threatening way?” Irene clarifies.
“If that’ll make you escort him away, then yes, sure.”
Irene sighs, but doesn’t disobey the Queen. She beckons for a fellow guard to follow her. “Ridiculous. Not like I can actually send him away for that.”
“We’ll just bring him to another room and say we got the wrong guy,” the other guard says.
“Fine…” Irene shakes her head, but the two disappear into the crowd.
“We can actually do that?” Hyunjin says, still glaring holes into the back of Mina’s head.
“As Queen you can,” Vivi shrugs and puts an arm around her daughter’s shoulders.
“Can you make Mina go away?”
Vivi gives her daughter a sympathetic look, “Jinsol is your fiancée, you’ll have to deal with your jealous now before it gets more out of hand.”
“I’m not—” Hyunjin stops when she hears Jinsol’s laugh rise above the noise in the room. Mina and her are leaning close together as they’re laughing. An uneasiness falls upon Hyunjin as she takes in the sight. “As if you’re much better though.”
“Like I said, handle it before it gets out of hand,” Vivi hugs her daughter tightly, pressing a kiss to her temple.
“Fine.” Hyunjin stands, brushes her dress off, and walks toward Jinsol. Her heart is in her throat, thrumming awkwardly, making her unbalanced, queasy. She passes by Jinsol glances at her briefly before making her way out of the greenhouse.
Hyunjin had every intention of taking Jinsol by the hand and excusing them from the group, but she chickened out at the last second. Her jealousy spilling over and it feels entirely unwarranted. They’re engaged, sure, but they’re not actually together. Not officially. Not outside of an arrangement.
Jinsol had seen Hyunjin pass by her and is quick to excuse herself from the group. Concern rises in her as she follows Hyunjin into the palace.
Meanwhile, Irene approaches Jacob and Haseul.
“I’m sorry, My Lord, you’ll have to come with us.”
“Irene, what’s the meaning of this?” Haseul asks.
Irene sighs, “You’ll have to ask your Queen.” She takes Jacob by the arm and leads him out of the greenhouse. He knows well enough to follow without making a scene.
Haseul stomps over to Vivi. “If you’re so jealous you have to remove a man from a party, you really need to do some self-reflection.”
Vivi sits up straight, her smile falling away. “I didn’t like how close he was to you.”
“I am a grown woman, Vivi. You need to trust that I’m capable of taking care of myself.”
Haseul is standing in front of her, arms crossed, a scowl on her face. Vivi swallows thickly realizing she had been acting irrationally.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t—I was being possessive….” Vivi looks away, gathering her thoughts. “I do trust you, Seul. I just…I just got you and I don’t want to lose you to someone else.”
Haseul sighs, taking a seat next to her. “Silly, silly, woman. You’ve had me for years. And, if you really wanted to know, Jacob and I were talking about how much I love you.”
“Oh.” Vivi internally scolds herself. She looks at Haseul sheepishly.
“Yeah. ‘Oh,’” Haseul shakes her head before kissing Vivi firmly. “I’m yours, Vivi. I always have been. And you really don’t need to be getting jealous of a man of all people.”
“So, I should be jealous of the women?”
“Yes, all women,” Haseul teases, kissing her again. Vivi laughs into the kiss, pulling Haseul closer. Party and guests be damned.
Heejin and Jungeun walk arm in arm through the green house. They’d spent part of the night with Somi and Doyeon, though the two had disappeared to get drinks and never came back. That left Heejin and Jungeun alone. This time, unlike the carnival, Heejin and Jungeun both feel the stares as they pass by the guests. Jungeun clings tighter to Heejin’s arm. They make their way away from the crowd a little bit and stand closer to a row of bird of paradise flowers. Neither of them speak as they take in the bright colors of the flowers that mimic the lively feel of Fiore. It’s no wonder that they are the national flower.
Jungeun glances at Heejin and isn’t shocked to see her fiddling with her necklace. Before she can ask if Heejin is okay, she speaks up first.
“I don’t wanna be here,” Heejin whispers. “I feel anxious with everyone staring at us.”
A proud smile slides onto Jungeun’s face at Heejin’s openness. “Me too.”
Heejin nods, and burrows into Jungeun’s side. “It’s not that I’m not having a good time with you. And the flowers are absolutely beautiful but…”
“It’s like eyes follow our every move.”
“Yeah, that,” Heejin sighs. “Can we go for a walk away from here? Just us?”
“Of course.” Jungeun leads them out of the green house. Away from the noise of party goers and bright lights. Their hands find their way to each other, fingers interlocking.
The further away from the party they get, the more at ease Heejin becomes. Jungeun can feel the tension fall away slowly until Heejin is smiling at her.
They’re near the edge of the party, practically at the doors to the palace. Music still reaches their ears though the stares don’t. They settle into the shadows beneath the twinkling lights in the tree.
Jungeun smiles at Heejin, taken aback by her beauty in the faint lighting. The lights reflect in her eyes and Jungeun’s heart beat speeds up.
“Better?” She asks Heejin.
Heejin nods, “You?”
“It never gets easier having too many people watching us,” Jungeun admits.
“I keep thinking they’re rooting for our failure,” Heejin offers with a half smile.
“They might be.” They both laugh at the truth of the statement. The stares will never stop, they will never go away. There will always be people who think Heejin isn’t fit for the throne and people who think Jungeun is just a commoner in royal attire. But they know the truth, they know each other, and they can fight it together.
Heejin sees that now. Sees that there is a strength she gets from Jungeun that she didn’t have before. Or, maybe, Jungeun has helped her see the strength she has in herself.
“I like this,” Heejin confesses as their laughter dies down. “Just being with you, I like it better than the parties and banquets and balls. I don’t need any of that.”
“Not tired of me yet?” Jungeun teases.
“Not yet,” Heejin winks and receives a gentle shove from Jungeun. She takes Jungeun’s hand and holds it tightly, pulling them closely together.
“I’m proud of you,” Jungeun whispers in the small space between them. Heejin simply raises a brow. “You told me what you were feeling and what you needed. I know it’s not easy for you; it’s a big step.”
“Oh,” Heejin blushes, looking away from Jungeun.
Jungeun cups her cheek and gently pulls her back to look at her.
“I trust you. I know I can be myself with you, Eun.”
“You can,” Jungeun’s smile reaches her eyes.
“I hope you know you can be yourself with me,” Heejin says earnestly, looking directly into Jungeun’s eyes. She feels herself falling.
“I’ve only ever been myself with you, Heejin,” Jungeun admits.
Something shifts between them. Something that hadn’t entirely clicked before.
Jungeun has never felt this way about anyone, not even Jinsol. She hadn’t been her true self with Jinsol throughout their friendship. But with Heejin it’s different. Easy. She’s never had to pretend or hide things. She’s never had the desire to. With Heejin she has always been unapologetically herself.
Heejin leans forward, and Jungeun’s heart skips a beat. A mild panic setting in. But Heejin’s lip press against her cheek, dangerously close to her lips. There’s a spark that ignites between them. Their eyes searching each other’s for an answer to a question they’re too scared to ask.
Instead, Jungeun takes Heejin’s hand in hers and pulls her into the palace. They made their appearance at the party. They did their rounds. Spoke with Heejin’s family and with Jungeun’s. No one would miss them if they go back to their suite and binge watch a cooking show on TV in their pajamas. The only thing they truly need is each other.
They disappear into the same hallway that Hyunjin and Jungeun had entered earlier.
Back inside the greenhouse, Vivi walked away from her usual bench to join Haseul and their friends around a table. Drinks in their hands, they watch the young royals disappear from the greenhouse pair by pair.
Jessica stands close to Sunny, the shorter woman’s arm wrapped around her waist. Taecyeon catches her eye and smiles as he walks by with Lord Nichkhun. The two men joke around as they exit the greenhouse.
“Vivi, I always look forward to this party every year,” Sooyoung says.
Jiwoo rolls her eyes, “You only say that because you get to stay up late and sleep in the next day.”
Eunha laughs, “Sooyoung has the right idea.”
“I’ll have to use that excuse,” Jessica smiles as she takes a finger sandwich off a passing tray.
“Jessica, you know you’ll be awake at sunrise like you always are.” Sunny takes the sandwich from Jessica’s hand and bites into it first.
“Vivi, too. I don’t think she knows the meaning of rest,” Haseul jokes. Her and Sunny share a laugh at the expense of their Queens.
“We’re right here,” Vivi says, but Haseul dismisses her with a kiss on the cheek.
“Sounds to me like you two need to learn how to relax,” Sowon chimes in. She sets her glass down on the table and takes her wife’s hand.
“That’s rich coming from you,” Eunha chuckles.
“I think we all need a vacation after this past year,” Jiwoo groans. The others around the table nod in agreement. It has been a long year. Between the engagements, the almost pandemic, financial issues, and the overall stress of every day royal life, they are all exhausted.
“Once this crown is gone, I’m taking a much needed vacation,” Vivi says. Sooyoung hums in agreement.
“I’m still stuck with mine,” Jessica takes a big swing of her champagne.
“You have two very capable sisters to be in charge. I think you can take a week off,” Sunny points out. “And take me with you when you do.”
“I've had enough stress this year to fill a lifetime,” Sowon grumbles. She swears that the financial issues they had and dealing with her brother had taken more years off her life than anything else.
Eunha kisses her cheek, “But we can breathe now.”
The group falls into an easy conversation about the flowers, the party, and the heirs. They don’t often get a chance to talk like this. Though the Kim-Wongs and the Jungs had a chance the other week to get to know each other more, there isn’t often a time or place to include the other women.
It’s easy for them all to find conversations that aren’t about royal business since their lives have overlapped so much over the past several months. Jinsol, Jungeun, Heejin, and Hyunjin connect these eight women together in more ways than one. They’re almost like a family.
“How are the girls, Vivi? Giving you any trouble?” Sowon asks.
“No, not at all!” Vivi answers at the same time as Haseul.
“They sent the palace into lockdown because they decided to play hide and seek and no one could find Hyunjin,” Haseul says.
“What?” Eunha yells.
Jessica giggles, “Classic.”
All eyes turn to Jessica. Many of them have grown used to the Queen of Valo being uptight, rigid, and definitely not into pranks. But as the disease in Valo started to disappear and she started to welcome Sunny further into her life, Jessica has lightened up more and more.
Sunny, especially, is surprised at how at ease Jessica is with these women.
“I remember palace hide and seek with Sunmi,” Sooyoung laughs. “She got stuck in a secret passage and we couldn’t find her all day.”
“Oh, my god, I remember that!” Jiwoo says. “I was an intern and I heard her crying through the walls. I thought it was a ghost.”
“Is that where the rumor that the Statera palace is haunted started?” Jessica asks, giggling into her glass.
Jiwoo blushes and looks away guiltily. The others laugh.
“Jungeun is convinced your palace is haunted, Vivi,” Sowon says.
“I can assure you there is no ghost,” Vivi chuckles.
“She’s adamant. She said a disembodied voice told her it’d attack her if she ate any more of the chocolate.” Eunha adds, recalling the conversation she had with Jungeun on the phone a few weeks back.
Vivi and Haseul share a look before saying in unison, “Yeojin.”
“The chef’s daughter,” Vivi clarifies. “She was probably in the secret room by the kitchen.”
Sunny is chuckling to herself, the other women looking at her with a questioning gaze. “Does everyone’s palace have hidden rooms and halls?”
Jessica smirks, “How else do you think royals have any fun?”
Vivi, Jessica, and Sooyoung all share playful laughs at the mischief they got up to when they were younger. They share stories of pranks, secret dates, and sneaking out to parties that other nobles’ kids were throwing. The other women in the group listen with amused expressions wondering how much they don’t know about the other royals and nobles among them.
The conversation begins to shift when Eunha asks for a secret passage tour of their palaces. The other’s quickly get on board when plans of getting back at the kids becomes the main goal. Vivi is more than willing to show the other’s the main secret passages if it means getting payback on the trio and their friends.
Meanwhile, in the hallway in the palace, Jinsol finally finds Hyunjin pacing near an alcove by the main staircase. Hyunjin stops when she sees Jinsol. She wrings her hands in front of her.
“What’s going on?” Jinsol asks as she walks toward her.
“I just needed a minute,” Hyunjin’s voice wavers, her eyes refusing to meet Jinsol’s.
Jinsol knows her well enough to know that she isn’t telling the whole truth. She reaches out to her, but Hyunjin steps back. “Is something bothering you?”
Hyunjin looks at the confusion etched on Jinsol’s face. She debates lying, brushing it under the rug, pretending she’s okay, but that won’t get her anywhere. That won’t make the gnawing in her stomach stop or the ache in her chest disperse.
“Yeah, yes, I’m—I didn’t like how Mina and the other women were looking at you. Touching you.”
The panic Jinsol felt rise in her ebbs. She smirks, “You were jealous.”
“I was not, I’m just—you’re my fiancée.”
“Sounds jealous to me.”
Hyunjin scoffs, moving back toward the wall behind her. “Like you were any better with Rosie. Don’t think I didn’t notice the daggers you were shooting at her. Or the death grip you had on my waist. You didn’t need to stake your claim, Sol.”
“I was jealous. Of course, I was jealous, you were a blushing mess around her,” Jinsol argues back. She hated that feeling, and hated seeing another woman make Hyunjin feel a fraction of what she hoped she made her feel, too.
Hyunjin leans against the wall, crossing her arms. She laughs in disbelief. “I’m a blushing mess around you, too.”
As if to test that statement, Jinsol steps closer to her. She brushes her fingers along Hyunjin’s jaw, tipping her chin up to make their eyes meet. Pink tinges Hyunjin’s cheeks in a matter of seconds. Her heart jerking in her chest at the sudden lack of space between them.
“I didn’t like seeing all those women all over you,” Hyunjin says again.
“No?” Jinsol teased with a raise of her brow.
“No, I hated it. I want—” Hyunjin takes a deep breath trying to calm her heart, collect her thoughts, but everything inside her is buzzing. And the tender look that Jinsol is giving her is making it hard to think.
They’ve been close like this before. Hyunjin can count all the times they’ve been trapped in a moment like this, a hair's breadth away from each other. Eyes searching, daring, begging. Only for it to be shattered by an intrusion.
Hyunjin knows what she wants. Knows that she has to make some kind of move to get what she wants. But how can she think when Jinsol has that look in her eyes. That same look as the day in the mirror maze when they had almost kissed. She’s sure if she looked in a mirror right now she’d see the same hunger, desperation, and tenderness in her own eyes.
“What do you want, Hyunjin?” Jinsol asks so quietly. She steps closer, her hands falling to Hyunjin’s sides.
Hyunjin is trapped between Jinsol and the wall. She can feel both their hearts hammering rapidly. It’s clear that Jinsol is just as affected by this.
This is what Hyunjin wants. That love that she had been so sure she lost the chance of having. And here it is. Here she is, staring her right in the face asking her what she wants, asking her to say it.
“I want…I want to be with you,” Hyunjin finally says. “Not just as an arrangement. Not just as a friend. I want to be with you. You’re all I want. I want this to be real, to mean something more than an arranged marriage just so I can take the throne. I want you, Jinsol.”
Jinsol smiles, that slow growing, reserved only for Hyunjin smiles.
“I’m all yours.”
Hyunjin reaches up, delicately cupping Jinsol’s face in her hands. Leaning up a little, her eyes meeting Jinsol’s, both of them searching. There have been so many for them. So many times that Hyunjin has wanted this to happen. She’s more certain now than ever that this is exactly what she wants, but still she pauses.
She remembers the first time they kissed. A rush of emotions and uncertainty. Jinsol asked for time to figure it out, to understand. Hyunjin knows what she wants, but she wants to be absolutely clear this is what Jinsol wants, too.
Jinsol’s heart flutters at the question she knows is on the tip of Hyunjin’s tongue. She leans down, lips nearly pressing against Hyunjin’s when she whispers, “Kiss me.”
Hyunjin doesn’t waste another second. She kisses Jinsol with everything she has felt over the past couple months. All the happiness, all the care, all the safety. She pours every ounce of herself into that kiss. Melting into Jinsol’s arms as they wrap around her body.
She feels it then. That same swell of warmth that hit her in the suite the other day. She feels it now more than ever rising in her as Jinsol kisses her back. All those nights pissed at the world and heartbroken about never finding true love seem so ridiculous to her now. Because she’s had it all along. Jinsol has been right in front of her this whole time.
That love rises up inside her, overwhelming her every senses as they kiss.
And Jinsol feels it, too. Feels that love that she thought she’d lost and would never find again. Except this one is so different from the last love. It’s softer and kinder. Jinsol is surer than anything about this love. About Hyunjin. She falls into it knowing that there is already a promise of forever attached to it.
Jinsol and Hyunjin are so absorbed in each other, so wrapped up in their kiss, they don’t see Heejin and Jungeun stumble into the hallway. Both women freeze at the sight. Heejin feels a sense of jealousy overcoming her. Not because she wants to be the one kissing Hyunjin, but because she wants to be the kissing Jungeun. The thought hits her like a freight train. She’s known on some level that what she feels toward Jungeun is so much more than a friendship, but never had it shoved so blatantly in her face.
She wants to kiss Jungeun. She wants to have with Jungeun what Hyunjin has with Jinsol. The revelation leaves her uneasy. Heejin takes Jungeun by the hand and drags her off toward their room leaving the other couple to kiss in private.
As Jinsol and Hyunjin’s kiss slows to breathless pecks, somewhere in the greenhouse the bulbs of the Queen of the Night flowers begin to bloom.
Notes:
I've got the rest of this week off from school before my fall semester starts so i'm hoping to finish the next chapter at least! But I have no idea when I'll update again, soif you wanna stay up to date on things, follow me on twitter.
Or check out the #loonamttc tag on twitter
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
ask me things here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96
Chapter 17: More
Notes:
AHHHHHHHHHHHH in honor of loona comeback HERE'S AN UPDATE. You're welcome.
this is a long ass chapter i'm not even gonna lie. last chapter was also long as hell. So i'm not gonna do like a long recap.2jin decide they're gonna meddle in their fiancees business. hyunjin finally realizes she's IN LOVE LOVE. they played hide n seek basically and catfish almost kissed but Vivi interrupted. WHEN WILL THEY HAVE THEIR CHANCE. Kim-Wong-Jung picnic in the mountains with Yeji! She fits right in, it's great. happy fluffy stuff. Viseul backstory too! Hyunjin and Jinsol have a nice little talk and then Hyerim fall into a lake spying on Wenrene. Flower blooming party time filled with jealousy, jealously, and more jealousy. Milf Squad + Chuuves hang out and it's nice, family coming together or whatever. Heejin is open about some of her feelings with Jungeun (not love feelings, they're not there yet cause they're all idiots). CATFISH KISS I REPEAT THEY FINALLY KISS YOU'RE WELCOME. okay, i think that's all. AND THAT'S WHAT YOU MISSED ON MTTC. NEXT CHAPTER HERE WE GO.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter Seventeen: More
Vivi and Haseul are walking hand in hand late one afternoon near the lake. It’s their usual routine, one they’ve done every day since they were teenagers. This is their time to unwind, to be alone with each other.
After the blooming flower party the other week, Vivi has had a lot on her mind regarding her relationship with Haseul. They’ve spent so many years in hiding, skirting around the relationship they both wanted and that Vivi always stifled. She wanted to do this, to make her intentions clear before her farewell ball next week.
Now, as they walk in late summer warmth, the sunlight glistening off the water, she feels calm. Her love for Haseul is limitless, it grows and grows far beyond anything she had ever imagined. While her trust in Haseul has always been present, her insecurities have gotten the best of her at times. Especially at the blooming flower — she’s sent a personal apology to Lord Jacob.
That moment of jealousy has shown Vivi something. She has loved Haseul since she was eighteen. Through the arranged marriages, raising a kid, adopting another kid, and trying to rule a country, Haseul has stuck by her side. Haseul has continued to love her just the same. If that isn’t the ultimate show of commitment, Vivi isn’t sure what is, but there is something more that she wants.
“Vivi, what is this?” Haseul asks. Beside the lake, rests a blanket and a few pillows with a basket full of food. It’s nestled neatly under a tree, providing some shade from the sun. Haseul walks toward the set up slowly and smiles over her shoulder at Vivi.
“Do you remember our first date?” Vivi walks to Haseul and takes her hand. She sits against the tree, tugging Haseul down with her.
Haseul leans back against her chest and sighs contentedly as Vivi plays with her hair. It always leaves her at ease. “I don’t think we ever labeled our dates…”
“We were nineteen and I’d just come home from my first year of college. I hadn’t seen you since I left.”
“Don’t remind me, that was torturous.” Haseul huffs, her head falling back against Vivi’s shoulder. She presses a soft kiss against her jaw.
Vivi laces their hands together. “I packed a lunch that I made myself—”
Suddenly, Haseul starts laughing, the vibrations shaking both of them. “Oh, no, Vi, I remember now.”
Vivi scrunches her face as she pokes Haseul in the side, “That would be what jogged your memory.”
“Those were the worst sandwiches I’ve ever eaten. How could I forget?”
“I didn’t mean to put yogurt on them! It looked like mayo…” Vivi says, a blushing creeping up her neck.
“Just say you had no idea how to make a sandwich,” Haseul grins. She’s looking up at Vivi, only able to see part of her face, but the pink on her cheeks is clear as day. If she brought it up, Vivi would claim it’s from the sun not Haseul’s teasing. That thought alone makes her smile widen.
“In my defense, your dad usually made my food, so…”
Haseul shifts and kisses Vivi on the lips, smiling gently, “I made your food.”
“That explains the heart shaped sandwiches from time to time,” Vivi says thoughtfully, but she’s met with laughter.
“I did not!” All Vivi does is smile, but it’s so bright, delicate, full of love, that the air is knocked out of Haseul’s lungs. She’s just struck by this beautiful woman. Decades of this love and Haseul is still not used to the way one look at Vivi makes her heart stop.
“Anyway, I recreated that first lake side date when I came back from college. Except, Chungha made the food so it’s edible.”
“Damn, I was really looking forward to those turkey and yogurt sandwiches,” Haseul teases, but moves away from Vivi’s hold so they could eat.
They do so quietly, enjoying the fruit and sandwiches Chungha placed in the basket. It’s quiet, for once around the palace grounds. Haseul has no clue what the kids are up to, but she really doesn’t want to know. Ignorance is bliss in most cases with them.
Vivi on the other hand isn't enjoying the silence. Her head is full of noise as she tries to work herself up to speak candidly with Haseul. She takes a sip of her drink and steels herself.
“There’s actually a reason I asked you down here, other than to have a date,” Vivi rushes out before she can think better of it. Haseul’s serene expression quickly turns panicked. “It’s not bad! I don’t think it’s bad…”
“What is it?” Haseul sets down her food, giving Vivi her undivided attention.
Taking a deep breath, Vivi says, “I know I explained a little bit when we kissed after the State Banquet. And I apologized, but I just—You deserve more than that.”
“Vi, no, I don’t need—” Haseul starts.
“I want to...for you. And for me,” Vivi takes her hand. “For us. ”
“Us.” Haseul smiles, liking the way that sounds, the way it feels.
“Yes,” Vivi breathes, her own smile appearing, then wavering. “I hurt you for years because of my stubbornness and indecision. I found any and every excuse I could to postpone choosing you or acting on my feelings. I wasn’t fair to you. What I did wasn’t fair to you. I hurt both of us for too long.”
“You had a duty, you were grieving,” Haseul whispers.
But Vivi shakes her head, “I love you for trying to explain this away, for giving me an out for how I treated you, but it’s not okay what I did.” She regards Haseul so delicately. Love in her eyes, tenderness in her touch. “I had a duty to myself to do what was right for me and for you. For Hyunjin even. But I placed my duty to my country over my duty to anything else. Any one else. I’m more than the Queen, I’m a person, too. And that person was scared.”
Vivi swallows thickly, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. All her fears over the years clawing their ways back out. She had them so neatly placed in the safe inside her, prepared to never let them out, but she has to. If she wants to be with Haseul, she needs to do this.
“Of what?” Haseul asks, her thumb gently caressing the back of Vivi’s hand.
“That after all these years you wouldn’t want me. That I’d waited too long. Kai told me again and again to just go for it. Fuck the crown, fuck my duty. He told me to follow my heart and I never listened.” A tear slides down her cheek. “I should have listened, but I was so scared. So scared of changing how we already are.”
“Nothing has to change...not really,” Haseul suggests hopefully.
“I want things to change, Seulie. I want—” Vivi pauses, trying to stop her voice from shaking. She looks out at the lake. Memories flash in her mind of the days they’d spend swimming in the lake. Every prank they pulled and times they snuck off to spend time together. All the times they had almost kissed growing up until that very first kiss in their secret room under the moonlight. Vivi had stopped every kiss before that. Always pulled back because of duty. Because of status. Because of reputation.
Not anymore, never again.
Vivi wants to be with Haseul, to have her and hold her for the rest of her life. She doesn’t want to question what they are to each other anymore.
“I love you, Haseul. I want you, no one else. I’m done hiding and making excuses. I want you beside me forever, not just as my best friend or advisor, but as...something more than that. I don’t want to fuck around anymore,” Vivi says, her teary eyes meeting Haseul’s. Both glistening with so many emotions. “You’re it for me. You’ve been it for me since the day I asked you if you liked cheese. You’re my forever, Haseul.”
“We didn’t make any of this easy on each other,” Haseul says through her teary smile. “I love you, so much. I forgive you for everything, I’ve always forgiven you. You are the love of my life. I’d wait forever if I had to.”
“You practically did,” Vivi laughs. They’re grinning like fools, tears falling down their faces, but their hearts are full. Vivi knows this is the moment, this is the time. Reaching into a small pouch in the basket, she pulls out a little box, pushing the lid open. Haseul gasps, hands over her mouth. “Marry me.”
Vivi has been thinking about this for years. The ring is new, not a family heirloom of any sort, but Vivi likes that about the ring. It’s not tied to anything that has kept her from Haseul over the decades. This ring is new, different, and completely their own.
“I’ve been waiting half my life to hear those words,” Haseul cries happily. “Yes. Yes, absolutely yes.”
Vivi doesn’t have a chance to put the ring on her or say that it would have to be after Hyunjin got married. Haseul couldn’t wait another second. She jumps into her arms and kisses Vivi deeply. It’s a promise of forever.
Jinsol is walking arm in arm with Hyunjin through the palace hallways. Hyunjin hasn’t said a word since they left the dining room after breakfast. Jinsol doesn’t mind, really. It’s a comfortable silence, one she enjoys more than she expresses. As much as she has fun with chaos that Hyunjin and her friends get into, Jinsol likes these quiet moments just the same.
“Do I get to know where you’re leading me yet?” Jinsol asks, smiling down at Hyunjin.
“You’ll see in a minute.” Hyunjin refuses to meet Jinsol’s gaze. She’s still not sure this is the best idea, but Heejin had managed to convince her. They’ve both seen how unhappy Jinsol and Jungeun have been since their fight at the carnival. Neither have spoken to each other and they’ve adamantly avoided any room they might find the other in. Which has left Hyunjin and Heejin in awkward positions more than once.
So, Hyunjin let Heejin talk her into this plan to force Jinsol and Jungeun together. Which meant steering Jinsol toward the music room in the palace where Jungeun and Heejin are already waiting.
“See wh—” Jinsol stops in her tracks, her arm slipping from Hyunjin’s elbow. Like most of the rooms in the palace, there’s a plaque beside the door with the name of the room written in gold font. Jinsol had been thankful on more than one occasion when she first moved in for these signs considering the amount of times she got lost. But now, standing next to the music room, the door wide open showing Jungeun seated at the piano with Heejin beside her, Jinsol is less than thankful.
After all this time, she can still clearly see Jungeun leaving her to sit at the piano in Valo alone and heartbroken. She can still feel that sharp shooting pain in her chest.
“Hyunjin, what is going on?” Jinsol finally asks, her voice drawing the attention of Jungeun and Heejin.
“Well, you see—” Hyunjin starts to say only for Heejin to stride over to them and grab her by the arm.
“You two need to talk,” Heejin says quickly and pulls Hyunjin out the door. “Since you won’t do it on your own, we’re giving you no other choice. Call us when you sort your shit out!”
Heejin starts to shut the door. Through the crack, Hyunjin catches eyes with Jinsol, who looks absolutely betrayed.
“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin mouths right before the door shuts, leaving Jungeun and Jinsol alone in the music room. “They’re gonna hate us.”
“No, they’re gonna thank us,” Heejin grins, locking the door behind her.
“If they kill each other, I’m blaming you,” Hyunjin grumbles.
“Blame me all you want, I have diplomatic immunity in sixty-five countries,” Heejin’s grin widens, “including yours.”
Hyunjin rolls her eyes. The two make their way down to the gym knowing that the conversation between Jinsol and Jungeun will most definitely take a while to resolve.
Back in the music room, Jinsol hasn’t moved from the spot near the door. She’s tried the handle multiple times. It doesn’t budge. It doesn’t help that she can’t even remember the master code to unlock the door from the inside. Hyunjin’s told it to her more than once, but she’s never bothered to commit it to memory.
“It’s not going to open,” Jungeun says as she continues to play the piano.
“Yeah, I noticed,” Jinsol pushes her hair out of her face. “I hate them.”
“Funny, I thought I was the one you hated.”
Jinsol turns, narrowing her eyes, “You’re on the list.” She’s not even sure why the words come out of her mouth. She doesn’t hate Jungeun, not at all, but hating her is easier than the pain she feels.
At the piano, Jungeun rolls her eyes and ignores her. She’s used to the snide remarks now. It’s been almost a week since the carnival and the under the breath comments have been coming none stop. She’s chosen to ignore it at this point. Jinsol doesn’t want to hear her out, that’s apparent. And Jungeun doesn’t want to talk to her if she’s going to be a brat about it.
But the longer they sit in the room together, the longer the silence spreads between them, the more Jungeun feels that same tug toward her old friend. She glances over her shoulder and sees Jinsol sitting on the floor, knees pulled up to her chest. Their eyes meet for a brief second and then Jinsol looks away.
Turning back to the piano, Jungeun recalls a song they used to play together all the time. It takes a moment for her to remember the notes, but it comes rushing back like all the good memories they share.
She pours her heart into each key, into each note that rings through the air. All the regret for holding Jinsol at arms length throughout their lives fills each note. The pain of missing her best friend sombers the normally playful song. Every chord struck by the keys, strikes another chord within her.
The bench moves as Jinsol sits beside her. She settles her fingers on the keys and fills in the empty spaces of the song that is meant to be a duet. Neither speak as they finish out the song. A complete song coming to an end not more than a few moments later.
“I never should have kept it a secret from you,” Jungeun says, finally looking at Jinsol.
“You didn’t owe it to me to tell me,” Jinsol answers, eyes still trained on the keys. “I’m not mad about that.”
“If it’s not my family’s money predicament, then what are you mad about?” Jungeun turns, straddling the bench and fully faces Jinsol. “Because Heejin knew before you?”
Jinsol sighs, “I guess, in part, yeah.” She lets her hands fall onto the keys, a disjointed high pitched jumble of notes echo in the room. “I just don’t understand, Jungeun. We were best friends for years and you couldn’t trust me with that?”
“Of course I could!”
“Did I do something to break your trust?”
Jungeun shakes her head, “You were an amazing friend to me, you didn’t do anything to break my trust.”
The relief at that information is short lived for Jinsol. “Then, what? You trusted Heejin more than me?”
“I—I didn’t want you to look down on me,” Jungeun whispers. “I’m not one of you, I’ve never been one of you.”
“When have I ever made you feel like I didn’t love you completely as you are?” Jinsol says. She can hear the anger in her own voice, but it’s not at Jungeun. It’s at herself. “Look I—I’m more upset that you promised me that there’d be no more secrets between us, and you made that promise knowing you were keeping this from me. And, yeah, okay, I’m mad that Heejin knew before me. That she just—she came sweeping into your life and got to know everything and I didn’t.”
“She gets it,” Jungeun meets Jinsol’s eyes. There’s so much turmoil raging through them, Junguen isn’t sure how she can calm this storm between them. “Heejin...she knows what it’s like to be unwanted by the nobles. My whole life I’ve been pushed out by the nobles and royals alike. And maybe your family didn’t, but everyone else we grew up with did. You didn’t see what I went through, or hear what I did every day. All those events you weren’t at growing up were hell for me. Heejin gets it, in a different way, but she gets it. She’s never made me feel like I was unwanted.”
Jinsol looks away from Jungeun, her chest hurting at the possibility that she had hurt her in the same way that others have.
“You didn’t make me feel unwanted, Jin, but you didn’t welcome me in the same way Heejin had,” Jungeun smiles, remembering the night she met Heejin. “From the moment we met, she did everything she could to make me feel comfortable in a world that wanted me to disappear.”
“I never wanted—I never meant to…”
“I know,” Jungeun takes Jinsol’s hand in hers. “I know you didn’t, but it’s how I felt. It’s not just on you, okay? There’s a number of things I could have done to make things work between us, but things happened the way they did.”
“Is that why you agreed to marry Heejin?”
“To help my family, yeah.”
“I would have done the same for you, Jungie. I would have—”
“Married me out of pity and out of obligation,” Jungeun smiles sadly. “I know you would have. I thought about it, plenty of times, but I didn’t want that to be the reason you married me. I wanted—I wanted you to mean it.”
“I would have married you out of love. I confessed the next day and you still chose Heejin,” Jinsol says. “That’s not the only reason you agreed to marry her.”
A warmth fills Junguen at the thought of her fiancée, she smiles despite herself. “A part of me has always known, I think.”
Jinsol tightens her grip on Jungeun’s hand. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, and ignored you, and maybe said some not so nice things. I was hurt that I had to find everything out from someone else, and that Heejin knew before me. It was like another stab in the back.”
“I’m sorry, too. I never meant to hurt you, Jinsol,” Jungeun says.
“But it happened, and I know I played a hand in that as well,” Jinsol smiles. It’s small, and sad, but it’s there. And Jungeun smiles back hopefully. “I’ll always love you, you know that right?”
Jungeun laughs, “Me, too.”
The weight they’ve been carrying for the past couple months finally lifts. Both able to breath properly for the first time, without the crippling pain that came with the thoughts of each other. Tears rush down their faces as Jinsol throws her arms around Jungeun, pulling her into a hug.
Jungeun clings to Jinsol, arms tightening around her body as she cries. It’s different than before, when she had truly loved Jinsol. But it’s still warm, and safe, and eases her mind. A sentiment that Jinsol feels, too.
When they break apart, they both have big smiles on their faces.
“Since we’re doing the whole no secrets thing,” Jinsol says, “I’m in love with Hyunjin.”
Jungeun scrunches her face in bemusement, “Doesn’t everyone know that?” She laughs when Jinsol smacks her arm and pouts.
“Whatever, it’s new to me,” Jinsol mutters.
“I’m happy for you, Jin.” And she is, wholeheartedly. Jinsol deserves that happiness, but it makes Jungeun pause. She thinks about Heejin, the woman she’s known for so long, the one she promised to spend the rest of her life with all for the sake of an arrangement; for Heejin’s country. A montage of all the times Heejin has been there for her, supported her, and protected her fly through Jungeun’s mind at rapid pace. Her stupid smile and her deep voice and the nights they spend wrapped in each other’s arms. Jungeun felt it then, but she can name it now.
Love. It’s love.
“I love Heejin,” Jungeun whispers.
Jinsol nods, an all knowing smile on her face. “You do?”
“Yeah, I really do.”
Jungeun finds Heejin alone in the gym by the time she gets there. Hyunjin had sent Jinsol the master code to get out of the music room. It had taken some convincing, and a selfie of the two of them, red eyed and puffy from crying, to get that code. Jungeun can only assume Hyunjin went to find Jinsol soon after they got out of the room.
In the gym, Heejin is lazily hitting the punching bag in the far corner of the room. Jungeun stands back, watching the muscles on her back flex under the tight shirt. Heejin hits the bag a few times, stepping around the bag as she goes. She locks eyes with Jungeun when she takes a second to breathe. When Heejin smiles in her direction, Jungeun’s stomach erupts with flutters that she can’t tamp down.
“Hey,” Heejin says breathlessly, “I see things went well with Jinsol.”
Jungeun can’t find the words as she looks at Heejin. Like suddenly having spoken her true feelings into the world, she can’t ignore them anymore. She loves Heejin. All this time, she’s loved Heejin. Jungeun will be damned if she let’s her slip through her fingers.
Heejin meets Jungeun in the middle of the room on the mats. She raises an eyebrow at her, wondering why she hasn’t spoken yet. Maybe things hadn’t gone as well as Jinsol told Hyunjin, but even looking at Jungeun, Heejin can see she’s holding herself differently. Confident. Light. And the way she’s smiling at Heejin makes her want to melt on the spot.
“Eun?” Heejin reaches out, brushing her fingers against Jungeun’s wrist.
“Hi,” Jungeun says. She can’t help the dopey smile that forms on her face when Heejin chuckles.
“You okay?”
“Couldn’t be better,” Jungeun takes Heejin’s hand in hers and tugs her forward. Heejin stumbles a little, falling into Junguen’s arms. She blushes and Jungeun is enamored. She’s not sure how she missed it before; how she could mistake this feeling toward Heejin as anything but love.
The kind of love she’s only read about in fairytales.
She smiles at that thought. The one idea that has haunted her throughout her life. A fairytale. Maybe it has been unconventional, not entirely a textbook fairytale, but it’s their own.
“Do you wanna learn some moves?” Heejin points to the gear beside them. Her heart is thrumming rapidly and she knows it has nothing to do with the workout she just had.
All that’s been on her mind for a few days is the kiss she saw between Jinsol and Hyunjin at the blooming flower party. She can’t shake the feeling that she wants that with Jungeun. That level of contentment and intimacy. The way that Jungeun is looking at her now has her head spinning. She doesn’t want to read into it too much, doesn’t want to get her hopes up. Heejin thinks it’s best to pull back, distract herself some more. It’s what she had been doing all day.
“Sure, but go easy on me, okay?” Jungeun steps back and let’s Heejin put the gear on her. It’s only a few minutes until Heejin is standing in front of her again looking serious. She’s replaced her own gloves with practice mitts.
“We’re gonna start with a jab, it’s pretty basic, but also pretty effective,” Heejin says. She shows Jungeun the punch a few times. A quick strike with her dominant hand. “Fast release, fast retract. Try it on me.”
Jungeun does as Heejin said. Quick strike and pull back, keeping her arms up in a block.
“I’m not gonna hit you,” Heejin laughs.
“I know, but I saw you do it the other day,” Jungeun says, pouting. Heejin shakes her head with a smile.
They keep going for a little while. Heejin showing her basic punches and having her try out combinations and blocking.
Unlike all the times her mama spent giving her lessons, Jungeun doesn’t feel like an idiot. Heejin is gentle and kind, taking things at Jungeun’s pace. Plus, Jungeun doesn’t mind Heejin’s hands on her body correcting her stance. And maybe Jungeun messes up her stance and movements a few times just to have Heejin’s hand on her waist again.
“Can we try something more difficult?” Jungeun asks.
“Like what?” Heejin lifts the bottom of her shirt and uses it to wipe her face. She misses the panicked eyes that zone in on her abs.
Jungeun gulps and looks away before Heejin can catch her.
“Um, I dunno, like a take down or something.”
Heejin shrugs, “Okay, come here.” When Jungeun reaches her, Heejin pulls her closer. “You’ll probably only use this effectively when you’re in a bind, it’s simple. Just watch me.”
Jungeun listens and watches Heejin do the move. Her foot grounds itself behind Jungeun’s. She uses her weight and pushes Jungeun backwards, throwing her off balance and sending her to the floor.
“You tripped me.”
“Basically, yeah,” Heejin laughs, offering her hand. “You try now.”
Jungeun does as Heejin showed her, pressing her body against hers and sending the woman off balance. What she doesn’t do correctly—and she blames the darkened eyes that had been looking at her—is stay upright on her own. Instead, Jungeun topples down to the mat with Heejin. She has enough sense to catch herself on her hands and hover over Heejin.
Heejin’s breathing is heavy and it has less to do with getting the wind knocked out of her and more to do with the hungry look in Jungeun’s eyes.
Everything is moving in slow motion and Jungeun leans down, lips inching closer to Heejin’s.
Their eyes remain glued to each other. Jungeun’s certain her heart is going to beat out of her chest, but she’s been wanting to do this all day. Maybe even for longer, she can’t be certain. And the look in Heejin’s eyes seems to be screaming the same desire as hers.
“Can I kiss you?” Jungeun whispers so quietly Heejin almost doesn’t hear it over the pounding of her heart in her ears.
Heejin throws her gloves off and locks her hands together behind Jungeun’s neck, pulling her down faster.
“Yes,” she sighs out right before their lips crash together. The kiss is the complete opposite of their relationship to this point. It’s fast, heated, filled with the love that both have pushed down for so long.
Everything melts away. The pain, the yearning, the jealousy that’s blossomed over the past couple months. None of it matters anymore, because right now Jungeun is kissing the woman she loves. She filled to the brim with happiness and warmth.
This time she didn’t let the love slip away. Didn’t let it go when she didn’t need to. She didn’t wait too long. This time, Jungeun went for it.
When they pull apart, gasping for air, lovesick smiles adorning their pink tinted faces, Heejin feels it bloom in her chest. That same love that Jungeun came to realize not too long ago. Neither speak it out loud, not wanting to break this moment of bliss. Instead, Heejin kisses Jungeun again, and let’s that speak for itself.
Yeojin is in the kitchen the next day panickedly flipping through a dessert recipe book. She’s been focused on creating a dessert for the Farewell Ball for the Queen that she hasn’t started on the basket for Yerim. Vivi had personally asked Yeojin to make her favorite desserts as a last goodbye. Though, Yeojin knows Vivi isn’t technically going anywhere when Hyunjin ascends the throne, it was still a heartfelt gesture. And it has taken up most of Yeojin’s time testing new and old recipes. That just means Yerim’s basket has been put on the back burner.
She can’t forget the look on Yerim’s face when she had seen the basket after they played Hide Hyunjin. Yerim looked so relieved to find a new one after who knows how long and Yeojin didn’t want to make her wait that long again.
Covered in flour standing at a table filled with bowls and measuring cups, a propped open cookbook, and a pile of wrappings for the basket Yeojin looks a whole mess. She doesn’t notice Jungeun walking into the room.
“I’ve been told you’re the one who wants to cut me off at my knees,” Jungeun says, scaring Yeojin. The smaller woman drops a bag of chocolate onto the table, pieces scattering across the surface.
Yeojin sighs, but doesn’t look up at Jungeun as she starts to clean up, “Don’t eat my candy again, and I won’t.”
Jungeun watches curiously as Yeojin gathers up the chocolate and places it back in the bag in her hand. She tosses it gently into a basket on the counter behind her before finally looking at Jungeun.
“How’d you figure out it was me? I was enjoying you thinking the palace was haunted,” Yeojin smirks.
“My moms heard from Vivi and Haseul that it was you,” Jungeun says. “I’m sorry about that, by the way, I was stress eating.”
Yeojin shakes her head and goes back to flipping through her recipe book. “It’s fine, I was eavesdropping on you anyway. Consider us even.”
“Still...I wanna make it up to you.”
Yeojin huffs. She doesn’t have time for this. On top of the massive order for the upcoming ball, she now has to find a recipe for Yerim. She can’t keep giving her the same treats every time just because she can’t think of new things to make. And Yeojin has made Yerim just about everything she knows how to.
“Unless you have some kind of amazing dessert recipe to offer, you don’t need to do anything.”
“For a particular reason?” Jungeun raises a brow. She’s heard talk of the baskets Yerim gets from Heejin, who hears it from Hyunjin. Apparently everyone in the palace is aware of who the secret admirer is except Yerim. It’s sweet, but kind of infuriating for everyone else involved. They don’t want to rat Yeojin out or put either of them in a difficult position.
“It’s...for a special friend,” Yeojin blushes, refusing to meet Jungeun’s eyes.
Jungeun walks closer to Yeojin and smiles reassuringly. “Well, there is a brownie recipe my moms taught me. Can’t go wrong with chocolate.”
Yeojin closes the recipe book and nods rapidly, “Please, I’m kinda desperate.”
It only takes a little bit to get all the ingredients ready and Jungeun explains the recipe to Yeojin. As they work together and continue to talk an idea begins to form in Jungeun’s head. One that could just plant the seed in Yerim’s mind about who her secret admirer could be. They’re both honestly too blind to realize how they feel about each other. Everyone else sees it plain as day, and Jungeun can tell it’s starting to get to Yeojin that Yerim hasn’t figured it out yet.
It’s just a nudge in the right direction.
Yerim’s been pouring over her to-do list and planner for the upcoming ball. Since Haseul is going to be a part of the ball with Vivi, she’s passed the torch off to Yerim to fully plan this ball. It’s an enormous task to undertake, one that Yerim isn’t completely positive she’s prepared for, but Haseul promised she’d be there if needed.
Planning this ball has taken a lot of Yerim’s time, and she’s been doing it for a while in between easier tasks. She wants to make it as amazing as she can. This is her best friend’s mother, a second mother to her, and one of the most beloved Queen’s in the history of Fiore. Yerim needs to do Vivi’s legacy justice. It needs to be as grand and as warm as Vivi.
It’s a tall order. It’s daunting. Yerim has barely left her suite in the past week trying to organize all the last minute details and make sure it will all be perfect.
Her mom has come in and out of the living room to check on her daughter throughout the week. Irene hands her drinks and snacks to make sure she’s taking care of herself and reminding her to take a break. Most of the time Yerim waves her off, but sometimes she asks her mom to watch a show with her.
They haven’t always gotten along. Her and her mom are opposites in so many ways. For a while Yerim felt she reminded her mom too much of her dad. He died when Yerim was so young, she never had any concrete memories of him. Irene always said Yerim was more like him. Playful, bright, cheery, and a mischievous streak. Some days Yerim felt guilty for reminding her mom of her dead husband, but other days Yerim could see the light in her mom’s eyes when she did something ridiculous, as if she was remembering him, too.
Her mom and her have never been close like Hyunjin and Vivi. They don’t share secrets or have deep conversations unless they have to, but Irene gives Yerim the space she needs to grow and is there to catch her when she falls.
“When did you last take a break, Yerimie?” Irene walks into the room and sits next to her daughter. She runs her hand over her head and leans in to kiss her head.
“I dunno, Mom, I need to get this layout of the ballroom figured out for the staff,” Yerim says, eyes focused on the several rough drafts she’s created.
“Do they need it soon?”
“On Friday.”
“You have two days, you can take a twenty minute break,” Irene nudges her daughter. “I’ll make us tea, then it’s break time, okay? You’ll think better when you give your brain a break.”
Yerim nods and Irene leaves the room. She goes back to flipping through the drafts of the ballroom layouts. There’s so much that goes into the layout that Yerim hadn’t fully seen before. There’s the number of tables and chairs, if they even wanted any. The heights of the table and consequently the height of the chairs. Types of glasses, tables for the food, where the musicians will sit. Will there even be musicians or just the speakers playing music? Outdoor furniture and not to mention the lighting. Her head is spinning with all the options and combinations.
A knock at the door pulls her from her spiral.
“I’ll get it!” Yerim yells to her mom as she pads over to the door. Standing on the other side of the door is Jungeun with a large basket in hand. Plastic wrapped and tied with a purple ribbon like all the ones before.
“I was on my way to my room and I saw this at your door,” Jungeun holds it out. “Jinsol told me about your admirer, I figured you’d wanna know it was here sooner rather than later.”
Yerim takes the basket and yanks Jungeun into the suite. She’s been hopeful that another basket would appear after the one she got last week. Seeing it now makes a face splitting smile appear.
“Who’s at the door?” Irene yells from the kitchen.
“Jungeun!” Yerim takes the basket and brings it to the table she’s been working at in the living room.
Jungeun stands near the couch, hands in her pockets wondering if she should leave or wait. Irene rounds the corner and looks her up and down.
“Hi, Irene,” Jungeun offers a polite smile.
“Are you the one that’s been giving Yerim these baskets?” Irene has been listening to her daughter go on about this admirer for months now. They may not have a close relationship, but it’s hard to miss these kinds of things. Especially when new desserts and candies appear almost every week.
“No! No, not me,” Jungeun holds her hands up. Irene is not someone she wants to get on the bad side of. She’s heard enough stories to know that she is not to be fucked with. “I just found it.”
Irene narrows her eyes at Jungeun.
“Mom, stop, I’ve been getting them way before Jungeun moved into the place,” Yerim says and Irene starts to relax.
She doesn’t know Jungeun well, not like the other people that live in the palace. While she seems like a great person, Irene would much rather it be someone she knows and trusts. Like that small pastry chef that comes to hang out with Yerim sometimes. She’s very loud, but she’s definitely better than the little blonde seamstress.
Irene walks over to the basket to inspect it and plucks a brownie out. “Whoever it is makes amazing food, just be careful, Yerimie.”
“I will.” Irene kisses her daughter’s forehead and leaves her tea on the table before leaving the room. “Want a brownie?” Yerim offers to Jungeun.
“Sure.” Jungeun takes one that’s offered to her and takes a bite. “Mmm,” Jungeun hums exaggeratedly. She came here with a plan in mind. Honestly, she can’t believe Yerim still hasn’t pieced together everything. Granted she’s had a lot on her plate, but Jungeun is astonished it’s gone on for this long. Who else bakes this well in the palace? It seems like a no brainer to Jungeun.
“Good right?” Yerim smiles, taking a bite of her own.
“They’re amazing, kinda reminds me of the brownies my moms make,” Jungeun says, putting her plan into action.
“You sure you’re not my secret admirer?” Yerim teases.
Jungeun laughs, “I’m sure. My moms did teach me the recipe, but I haven’t made it here. Although...I did teach it to Yeojin.” She takes another bite of her brownie and watches Yerim.
Yerim pauses, hand hanging in the air with a brownie near her mouth. All the pieces start flying into place. All the signs and hints that have been in front of her this whole time start to make complete sense.
When Hyunjin had told her she saw a small silhouette running away from her door and the basket being left behind.
The fact that the desserts are always amazing and completely fresh.
Baggies that were used in the basket that Yerim thought she had seen before and definitely had when her and Yeojin had made cupcakes together.
Yeojin being protective over the chocolates that day in the secret room and how she said they were special.
The way the baskets stopped after they had flirted in the kitchen and picked up again when she expressed that she missed them.
“Oh, Shit,” Yerim whispers, brownie falling to the floor. She bolts out of the suite, the door slamming shut behind her.
“Yerim?” Irene walks back into the room. “Where’d she go?”
Jungeun smiles, “To get her girl.”
Irene hums, hopeful that her daughter at least has an admirer that can keep up with her antics. “Bring me another brownie before you go.”
Yerim skitters into the kitchen, heart pounding in her ears. Yeojin. Her friend. Her secret admirer. Someone she’s started to get closer to, who has made her smile on more than occasion, who makes her laugh like no one else. Yeojin who Yerim spends more time with as Hyejoo and Chaewon get closer.
She should have seen this sooner; should have realized sooner.
Now she’s standing in the doorway of the kitchen panting, hand gripping the frame as she stares at Yeojin. She’s jumping up trying to reach a bowl on a higher shelf and Yerim’s heart lurches in her chest.
The bowl tips over and crashes to the ground. Metal clanging fills the air. Yeojin turns around and spots Yerim. A smile blossoms on her face.
“Hey.”
“It’s you,” Yerim blurts out between puffs of air.
Yeojin sets the bowl on the table and takes a deep breath. She doesn’t need to ask what Yerim means. She knows. “Yeah, it’s me.”
“I didn’t know…” Yerim breathes and crosses the room, standing on the other side of the kitchen island.
“I didn’t want you to,” Yeojin’s smile turns sad. “We pranked each other constantly, I thought that was all you thought of our relationship. I didn’t think you felt the same...but then—”
“The baskets.”
“You smiled so big every time you got them. I didn’t want to change what we had, so I hid behind being a secret admirer instead.”
“What about now?” Yerim asks. She moves around the table. “Can we change what we have now?”
Yeojin’s face falls. Mind misinterpreting what Yerim is trying to ask. “If—if that’s what you want.” She had been naive to think Yerim would feel the same about her. Maybe she had just been into the thrill of having a secret admirer. Before she can spin her wheels too much, Yerim is in front of her, brushing flour out of her hair and tilting her chin up to look her in the eyes. The lead in the pit of her stomach disperses at the tenderness in Yerim’s eyes.
“I like you , Yeojin. The secret admirer, the prankster, the chef’s cute daughter who took the time to learn what I like,” Yerim smiles at her. “It took me realizing the admirer was you to realize how I feel, but I like you.”
“You like me?” Yeojin whispers.
“Yes,” Yerim tilts her head with an endearing smile. “Do you have flour clogging your ears?”
Yeojin groans and steps back, swatting Yerim’s hand. “Wha—No! I’m just...I like you, too.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” Yerim chuckles. They share a smile and Yerim takes Yeojin’s hand. “Now that that’s all settled, wanna watch a movie at my suite?”
“Is your mom going to interrogate me?”
She shrugs and pulls Yeojin out of the kitchen, “Probably.”
Yeojin doesn’t have a chance to worry about that when all she can feel is Yerim’s hand in hers. It’s more than she thought would come out of the secret baskets, but she couldn’t be happier. Especially with the dopey smile Yerim sends her way as they walk down the hallway.
She’ll have to thank Jungeun.
The day before the farewell ball, the palace is in disarray. People are running all over trying to get last minute prep done. They rush past her in the halls, arms full of papers or decorations for the ball. Hyejoo has to jump out of the way more than once as they hurry past with towers of boxes they can hardly see over.
Hyejoo’s been preoccupied with more security guard training with Wendy. Since Hyejoo is going to be taking over the position as Hyunjin’s head guard, Wendy has been teaching her the smaller details about the position. As well as Hyejoo knows Hyunjin on a personal level, there is a different level of care needed on a professional level. Wendy is doing the best to show Hyejoo the tricks and tips that help her keep Hyunjin safe when she’s feeling a bit more mischievous. Or sneaking out as she often does. But Wendy assures her that she’ll still be right there as Jinsol’s guard.
Throughout the week, Hyejoo hasn’t had much time to herself, nor has she seen Yerim or Hyunjin. They’ve all been busy with their respective duties as everything starts to come to head. Yerim’s position as royal advisor is becoming more official. Hyunjin’s ascension to the throne is rapidly approaching. Even Jinsol hasn’t been around as much as she’s learning more about the history and laws of Fiore to prepare for her role.
Hyejoo’s pretty sure that the three of them are together right now though. According to Nayoung, Hyunjin and Jinsol have been with Yerim trying to prevent her from having a breakdown over the planning for this ball. Hyejoo decides it’s best to let them handle it, adding more people to the room can be more overwhelming for Yerim than helpful.
After her lesson with Wendy, Hyejoo finds her way to Chaewon’s suite and into her sewing room. Chaewon is standing in front of two dress forms. One is the pale yellow dress from the sketches Hyejoo found a while ago that Hyunjin wanted to be made. It’s now complete and even more stunning than Hyejoo had imagined.
Chaewon flits around the other dress form, tape measure around her neck, pin cushion on her wrist, and a furrowed brow to top it all off. She doesn’t notice as Hyejoo approaches and takes a closer look at this other dress. It’s nearly complete, and follows a similar pattern as the other dress. The fabric is baby blue and looks like a soft mid-morning sky.
“Hey,” Hyejoo says, startling Chaewon who knocks over her box of materials.
She places a hand over her heart and turns to Hyejoo in breathless horror. “Oh, my god, you scared me! I didn’t hear you come in.”
“I’m not always a clumsy mess,” Hyejoo smiles and bends down to help Chaewon clean up her stuff.
Chaewon goes to wave her away, “Don’t worry about it, I’m—”
“Picky. I know, but I’ve watched you work enough times to know where everything goes.” Hyejoo continues picking up the materials, placing everything carefully into the box in the correct compartments. She doesn’t realize Chaewon has stopped and is staring at her with a fond look in her eyes.
“What are you doing here?” Chaewon finally asks, placing her box further away so she doesn’t knock it over again.
“Everyone is busy and I’m done with work for today,” Hyejoo settles on the empty stool next to the dress form. One foot resting on the bar of the stool, the other on the floor. Chaewon is torn between thinking she looks beautiful and also hoping Hyejoo doesn’t tumble off the stool. “I also wanted to see you.”
“I’m glad you’re here, I’ve missed you,” Chaewon admits, both blushing at the words. They haven’t had the chance to spend time together with ball preparations. Slowly, they’ve gotten used to spending their days together only for their routine to be disrupted. “But I do have to finish this dress.”
“I can be your assistant,” Hyejoo offers, jumping off the stool.
“Last time we tried that I spent the next day getting blood out of the garment,” Chaewon laughs.
“You stabbed me!”
“ You weren’t following directions.”
“I didn’t hear you,” Hyejoo defends. “I was distracted.”
“By what?” Chaewon smirks, thinking she’ll get Hyejoo flustered.
But Hyejoo grins, stepping toward her. “You. It’s hard to focus when I’m near you. You’re beautiful.”
Chaewon flounders. “I—Where did my clumsy Hyejoo go? You’re being very smooth today.”
“Maybe I wanna impress you.”
“You already do,” Chaewon whispers.
It’s then that Hyejoo realizes how close they’ve gotten. Gravitating toward each other throughout their conversation like magnets. One question, one swift movement, and Hyejoo could kiss her. She could kiss Chaewon. It would be that simple. But she panics.
“Oh, um, well…” Hyejoo clears her throat, putting space between them. “I’ll just sit and read while you work.”
Chaewon isn’t disappointed, though she hoped for something a little more. “I’ll be done soon, we can go for a walk after.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay, I’d like that,” Hyejoo returns the smile.
“Now, shoo, ten feet away. Minimum,” Chaewon pushes her back into the couch against the back wall. She kisses her cheek, “Don’t stare too much. I get distracted, too.”
“No promises,” Hyejoo says softly, a tiny smile appearing.
With a roll of her eyes and a smile, Chaewon goes back to work, trying to ignore the tender gaze that Hyejoo is sending her way. It’s hard to focus. Hard to think of anything else than the flutter in her stomach. But she tries, at least until Hyejoo is ready, too.
Later in the day, Haseul and Vivi are walking toward Hyunjin’s room hand in hand. They’ve yet to tell anyone about their engagement. It’s not that people won’t be accepting of the news. Most people in the palace and the country have been silently rooting for the pair to get together. They only wanted to take these past several days to enjoy the time together alone. Vivi has shared her whole world with her country and her people since she was born. This is the one thing she could have to herself. Neither of them wanted to break that blissful bubble they had built, but it was time to finally tell their daughter.
It’s comforting to think of it that way. Their daughter. Kai had always said that Haseul is as much a mother to Hyunjin as Vivi, and Vivi still agrees. To see Hyunjin call her Mama Seul again is enough of a reminder that this is how it always should have been.
She only wishes Kai could be here to see them all grow.
They enter Hyunjin’s room, a long box with a letter taped to it in Haseul’s grip. Vivi wants to tell Hyunjin of their engagement, but they also want to talk to her about her own wedding. She can see how deeply Hyunjin feels for Jinsol, but she wants her daughter to make the final decision. It’s her life, her happiness, and whatever Hyunjin decides, Vivi and Haseul will support.
“Hyunnie?” Vivi calls as they make their way through the suite. They can faintly hear her playing her guitar coming from her room. When they walk in they find Hyunjin sitting on the floor, leaning against the giant teddy bear, guitar in her lap. She seems relaxed, a serene smile on her face. “What are you doing sweetheart?”
Hyunjin sits up at their intrusion, but greets them both.
“Hi Mom, Mama Seul,” She continues to play. “I was just talking to Dad while I played.”
Haseul and Vivi share a smile, noticing that Hyunjin isn’t saying it in a bad way. There have been many nights when they’ve both found her wrapped around the teddy bear crying. They remember the day Kai gave it to her, the absolute heartbreaking realization that they would all be growing older and living longer than the man that tied them all together. Life has been duller without him, but they have done their best. They owe it to him to do better.
Hyunjin has talked to her teddy bear for a while now, since he died. She’s always been afraid to tell people that, for people to find out. Jinsol has known the longest. Maybe not in so many ways, it hadn’t been until recently that Jinsol had heard Hyunjin talk to the teddy bear like it’s her dad. But Jinsol didn’t bat an eye. She spoke to him with Hyunjin and that meant the world.
“Is there something we need to talk about? I didn’t miss a meeting did I?” Hyunjin sets the guitar aside and runs her fingers over the matted fur. Haseul and Vivi take a seat on the edge of her bead.
“No, no, we actually have two things we want to talk about with you,” Haseul says with a smile.
Hyunjin looks between the two of them until she catches sight of something. “You’re engaged!”
The ring on Haseul’s finger shines in the light, it’s a wonder how people haven’t noticed yet.
“I asked her last week, but we wanted you to be the first to know,” Vivi says. “It’s something your father has wanted for Haseul and I for a very long time.”
“It took you this long, Mom?” Hyunjin raises a brow, shaking her head. “I’m happy for you both.” She stands and hugs them both.
“You’re okay with this?” Haseul asks nervously. They had just mended their relationship and it is a lot for Hyunjin to have to process in a short amount of time. But the young woman just smiles.
“Of course I am, you’ve been a mom to me since the day they brought me home. Don’t think I haven’t heard the stories or seen the baby albums. You’re my mom too, Haseul.” Hyunjin wraps Haseul in her own hug, both with tears in their eyes. Vivi has to hold her own back watching the scene unfold. She knows somewhere Kai is feeling the same overwhelming emotions she is.
When the pair calm down, Vivi brings up the next point. “We aren’t getting married any time soon, but you are. If you want.”
“You and Jinsol have been engaged for a while now and we’ll need to put out an official statement soon about the wedding,” Haseul says.
“But you can still back out if you want to, Hyunjin. If you’re not happy, if you’re not ready, if this isn’t the life you want...we will support you. We don’t want you to feel forced into this,” Vivi adds, taking her daughters hands in hers.
Hyunjin glances between them, their unwavering support apparent in their eyes. She turns and looks at the teddy bear. Her mom had told her at the beginning of this to give Jinsol a chance, to give this arranged marriage a chance, and she did. She knew going into this it was to get married to take the throne or give it all up. Her title, her legacy, her family’s history. She can’t say she hadn’t been tempted. No one wants to be forced into a situation they don’t want to go into, but the more she got to know Jinsol the more she fell.
As she looks at the teddy bear, the memories flash through her mind. The day she sobbed into the bear, cursing her fate, wishing she didn’t have to do this. She had been adamant that she didn’t want to get married, didn’t want a best friend because she wanted true love. And here she is, several months later, head over heels in love with the very woman she hadn’t even been sure was the right choice. She hadn’t been sure she was ready then; if she was ready to be a Queen and a wife. But now, after everything they’ve been through, Hyunjin thinks she’s finally ready.
She thinks of Jinsol, her loud laugh and her undying support. Thinks of her sarcastic remarks and playful smile, and how she can be so poised one second and an absolute dork the next. Hyunjin thinks of her kiss, her touch, her slow growing smile that leaves her breathless and weak in the knees. But, mostly, she thinks of how happy she is with Jinsol. Crown or no crown, Hyunjin wants to be with Jinsol.
“I’m ready, this is what I want,” Hyunjin says to the teddy bear first, then turns to her mom and Mama Seul. “I want to be Queen, I want to marry Jinsol.”
Vivi smiles and gestures to Haseul to hand Hyunjin the gifts.
“What’s this?” Hyunjin asks, taking the box from Haseul. She sees her name scrawled across the envelope on the top. Handwriting she’s only seen rarely in the baby albums she has.
“Your dad left these for you,” Vivi says.
“He said he wanted you to have them when you were about to assume the throne. I think now would be the time,” Haseul smiles sadly. “There was so much he knew he was going to miss in your life, Hyunnie. I think your mom and I would agree that he would be so proud of the woman you’ve become. I know we are.”
Vivi nods beside her, trying to hold back her tears. It never gets easier thinking about Kai and all he missed, all they lost by not having him here. They all know there will be a big piece missing on Hyunjin’s wedding and coronation day.
“He wanted me to have this?” Hyunjin says with tears in her eyes.
“It was one of his last wishes,” Vivi reaches out to her gently. “We can stay with you to read the letter, if you’d like.”
Hyunjin shakes her head, “I’m—I’m going to find Jinsol.” She kisses them both on the cheek before leaving the room in a misty eyed daze. Her heart stuttering in her chest, feeling so close and so far away from her dad all at once. She just wants the comfort only Jinsol can give her.
“You think she’ll be okay?” Vivi asks, wiping her eyes.
“Jinsol will take care of her. They make a good team.” Haseul stands and takes Vivi’s hand.
“Not as good as us.”
Haseul laughs, “I don’t know about that, Hyunjin got her shit together faster than you did.”
“No kisses for you today,” Vivi scoffs and lets go of Haseul’s hand. She saunters out of the room without looking back.
Haseul just laughs as she follows her knowing damn well that it’s an empty threat.
Jinsol’s on the patio with Jungeun. They’re watching the clouds pass by like they used to, teasing each other about the shapes the other is finding. It’s like old times. A simplicity they haven’t had when interacting with each other in longer than either care to fully acknowledge.
They’ve come to agree though that they were each other’s first loves, but the timing had never been right and what they need is not something the other can provide. It’s a weight off their chests finally putting that all behind them. But it leaves room for new dilemmas.
Jinsol has been listening to Jungeun agonizing over her feelings for Heejin. It’s not as hard to hear as Jinsol thought it might be. That thought alone makes her smile knowing her feelings for Hyunjin are that strong. Strong enough to know that her basically life long love for Jungeun is long gone.
“I just don’t know how to tell her, or when to tell her,” Jungeun sighs, eyes following the clouds. “There never seems to be a right time. Am I supposed to just shout it while she’s punching things? ‘Hey Heejin, I’m in love with you.’ That just sounds stupid...this is impossible.”
Jinsol laughs at the frustration in Jungeun’s voice. She receives a glare from her friend that looks more tortured than angry. Taking pity on her, Jinsol says, “There isn’t a right time. You just say it.”
“‘Cause that went so well for you last time,” Jungeun turns her head, unamused by the advice.
“Not my fault you decided to get married the day before. At least I confessed.”
“ Again look how well that went for you!” Jungeun groans.
“You’re literally getting married. It’s not like she’ll leave you. Heejin kind of needs you to take her throne.”
“Not helping. I’m not taking advice from you, the one time you confessed, it failed—”
“Because of you.”
“—and you haven’t even confessed to Hyunjin yet!” Jungeun looks back to the clouds. “You’re no master of romance, Jin.”
“Fine, then suffer,” Jinsol shrugs.
Suddenly, the doors to the patio burst open and a frazzled Hyunjin stumbles into view. Jinsol bolts upright, not used to seeing Hyunjin this distressed. She can count on one hand the amount of times she’s seen Hyunjin upset. Usually, Hyunjin has such a level head or hides it behind closed doors, but this is different. Jinsol’s stomach knots with worry.
“Hyun, you okay?” Jinsol stands and walks toward her.
“I, uh,” Hyunjin bites her lip and takes a deep breath. She turns to Jungeun with a polite smile, “May I steal Sol away, Jungeun?”
Jungeun waves them away, “She’s all yours. I’m gonna watch Heejin workout.” She stands and brushes her clothes off.
“You’re incorrigible,” Jinsol calls after her retreating figure. Jungeun shoots her a wink over her shoulder as she walks into the palace. Jinsol turns back to Hyunjin, her eyes falling on the long box in her hand and an envelope in the other. “Whatcha got there?”
Hyunjin shakes her head, glossy eyes snapping back to reality. She glances at the objects in her hand as if they’re foreign to her. “They’re from my dad,” She says, voice monotonous, barely above a whisper.
Jinsol’s eyes soften. She rubs her hand on Hyunjin’s arm, “Yeah?”
“Will you—will you stay with me while I read this?” Hyunjin lifts her eyes to look at Jinsol. She’s met with so much kindness, patience. There’s a warmth in her eyes that makes Hyunjin’s body immediately relax.
“Of course,” Jinsol nods, “here or…?”
“I want to go to his spot,” Hyunjin says. “My mom took me there when I was little, she wanted me to feel closer to him, but I—”
“You shut it out.”
“Yeah, but I’m ready to go there now.”
“I’ll be right here beside you,” Jinsol smiles at her reassuringly, letting Hyunjin take her by the hand.
They walk quietly across the lawn toward the garden where there’s a path around the lake. Hyunjin’s nerves are frayed. All she has ever heard about her dad has been through word of mouth, or videos of old speeches and family moments. It’s different now, this letter feels incredibly personal.
The envelope contains all the words her dad wanted to say to her to now, all the words she could have heard her whole life. He was taken from her too soon and she can’t even remember what little time she had with him. Flashes of memories appear on occasions but sometimes Hyunjin wonders if they’re just day dreams she created when she was younger. Dreams to mend her broken heart of never truly knowing him anyway.
Hyunjin hopes that reading this letter in a spot special to her dad will bring her closer to him.
Jinsol walks beside her, watching Hyunjin’s face scrunch and relax intermittently. She’s sure that this can’t be easy for Hyunjin. King Kai has been gone nearly her whole life, Jinsol remembers his funeral, all his memorial balls. She remembers finding Hyunjin lost and confused at most of them, sadness hidden behind a thin veil of propriety. Jinsol can’t take away the pain Hyunjin is feeling now, or any of the whirlwind of emotions she’s sure are coursing through her, but she can be here for her.
That’s what people do for the person they love.
They’re a decent way into the path. Tall trees on either side, small beds of flowers lining the ground. A stream runs underneath the bridge they cross disappearing into the thicket. The path veers away from the brush but Hyunjin heads toward it. She pushes the branches aside with the box, and reveals a path that many would miss. It’s only a few more steps before Hyunjin pushes one last branch aside and the path opens up to a small grassy area. A bench sits near the edge of a pond that the stream is flowing into.
“This is beautiful,” Jinsol breathes.
“It’s exactly like I remember it.” Hyunjin guides them over to the bench, resting the box against the side of it. She turns the letter over in her hand a few times, tracing her name with her fingers.
Jinsol kisses her on the temple and wraps an arm around her shoulder, “I’m here, okay?”
Hyunjin simply nods. Slowly, she peels open the envelope and unfolds the papers inside of it. Her breath hitches at the neatly scrawled words on the paper. Tears fall from her eyes at the sight of her dad’s writing, at the signs that he was crying while writing.
My dear Hyunjinie, my little girl,
I didn’t have nearly enough time with you. You’ve spent more of your life without me than with me and I wonder what type of person you’ve grown to be. What kind of friend, leader, and partner you’ve become. I bet you have your mother’s grace and kindness, probably her stubbornness too. I bet you have Haseul’s temperament and patience. I wonder what parts of me you have, what your mom and Mama Seul have told you about me. I hope they have told you that I am and always will be proud of you. You had my heart the moment we brought you home. I knew then as I know now that you were going to make waves. I only wish I could be there to see it.
By the time you read this you will have reached many milestones that I never even saw on the horizon. I will have missed your high school graduation and first loves. College acceptances and finding yourself. All the pranks I’m certain you’ll pull if you’re anything like me. I will have missed so much of your life, but I am so incredibly thankful to have gotten as much time with you as I have. I wouldn’t trade it for the world Hyunnie. Not for anything else.
If Haseul followed my instructions, which I’m sure she did, you know how she is, you’ll be getting this when I believe you need it the most. You’ll be facing down the seemingly daunting task of getting married and ruling a country. I hope by now you won’t have to marry to rule, but I won’t hold my breath for that.
I wish I was there for you now. So much is changing for you so quickly, I know, I’ve been there. When your mother and I were getting married everything changed. Even more when I discovered Mama Seul’s feelings for Vivi. It was too late at that point and, God, I hope they have figured themselves out by now. They deserve happiness as much as you do, Hyunjin. Your mother and I chose duty over love. We chose it because it was our obligation to this country and to the people of Fiore. We put aside our love for others and made the decision to marry based on our compatibility as rulers and partners.
I do not regret it. I know Vivi doesn’t regret our decision either. I loved your mother more than anything, she was my best friend. As much as we lost because of our decisions, we gained you. We got you. You will always be the best thing to ever happen to me, to us.
But, here’s the thing, the one thing I want more than anything to pass on to you. Don’t let the crown or anyone else get in the way of love, of your happiness. You are destined to be Queen, Hyunjin, but that is not all you are. That is not all you have been. There is more to who you are than this throne. Don’t make the same mistakes your mother and I made. Follow your head and your heart. You’ll be surprised where it takes you. Trust yourself, your training, and trust your instincts.
If you happen to fall in love, happen to trust another person with your heart and this country, do so completely. Let yourself fall. Love them with all that you have and don’t let a single person take that from you. It doesn’t have to be duty over heart. It can be both, you can have both. Fight for what you want. Hyunnie.
Remember, you will always be more than the crown you wear.
I love you beary much,
Dad
Hyunjin sits back against the bench, tears flowing down her face. Jinsol’s grip around her tightens, her thumb rubbing circles on her shoulder. Hyunjin folds the letter back up, placing it in the envelope. She picks up the box and lays it over her and Jinsol’s lap. Inside rests a beautiful competition bow, with a note attached to it.
I taught your mother and Seul archery with this. I had hoped to teach you with this bow when you were older, but maybe you can use it to teach your kids one day. I love you, Hyunnie. I’m always with you .
There is so much swirling through Hyunjin’s mind right now. So many of her dad’s words that struck a chord. The news that she had to get married had hurt, had broken her in a way she hadn’t anticipated. She knew then she had a duty to her country to follow through with tradition and law, to marry to take the throne. That’s why she chose Jinsol. It was out of necessity, out of duty. But these past couple months she has fallen so hard for Jinsol. This love is what she has wanted. This is the love her parents never got to have because of their obligation to their country. Hyunjin has a chance now, whether Jinsol feels the same about her or not, she has a chance to have that love.
She’s more than a Princess. More than a soon to be Queen. She’s not just her titles and she deserves love, too.
Hyunjin leans into Jinsol’s touch, sighing as she wipes the tears off her face. The action is futile though, more tears fall anyway. Relief. Sadness. Love. It all piles up in her, weighing her down and setting her free all at once.
“Thank you,” Hyunjin whispers. She wraps an arm around Jinsol’s waist, digging her fingers into the fabric of her shirt.
Jinsol kisses her head, “I’m here for you. Always.”
“It means a lot to share this with you. I feel safe with you,” Hyunjin breathes, tucking her head against Jinsol’s chest. “Calm. Like I can take on the world with you by my side.”
“I feel that with you, too.” Jinsol brushes her fingers through Hyunjin’s hair. They sit in silence for a bit. She lets Hyunjin feel what she needs to and leaves that space for her to have.
Hyunjin gets up and walks to the edge of the water, bow held tightly in her hand. Jinsol doesn’t say anything, letting her have this silent moment that she needs.
The stream babbles as it empties into the pond. Sunlight glistening off the water and streaming through the trees. It’s peaceful. Quiet. Jinsol can see why Kai enjoyed this spot so much.
Glancing down at the bow and back out at the small pond, Hyunjin lets a shaky breath tumble awkwardly from her mouth. She wonders, not for the first time, what it would be like to have her dad with her there now. To hear these words from his mouth as she got older. To grow up in a palace with three parents who love her unconditionally, who raise her to be brave and kind. To be taught that she can rule with her head and heart, that duty doesn’t always come before matters of the heart.
But it’s not too late to learn this now. Even though her dad can’t be here, even though he had barely even been here, Hyunjin knows he is always with her. She feels it when she lays with her teddy bear, when she walks through the palace halls, when her mom hugs her. She felt it just now reading the letter. He is with her.
“I miss you. You should be here with us to see everything that’s happening for all of us. We keep you in our memories, nothing is the same without you. I love you,” Hyunjin says, her shoes digging into the dirt. Her eyes stare out at the horizon, wind ruffling her hair.
Behind her, Jinsol watches as the sun halos Hyunjin.
“I won’t make the same mistake, Dad. I love her, I’m not letting her go for anything,” Hyunjin whispers into the wind, hoping the words get carried to her dad one way or another.
“Are you okay?” Jinsol asks, though the question seems stupid now that she’s said it.
“No, but,” Hyunjin sits down and looks at Jinsol so delicately, lovingly, “having you here makes it easier.” She wants to say more. Wants to say the three words that have been sitting on the tip of her tongue for weeks. But like all the times before the words don’t make it past her lips.
Hyunjin is sure more than anything now that she loves Jinsol. And maybe it’s the look in Jinsol’s eyes or the tenderness of her touch, but Hyunjin thinks maybe Jinsol loves her too.
The night of the farewell ball, Vivi and Haseul are outside the doors of the ballroom. Nearby, Irene rotates in her spot waiting for the signal from her Queen to have the footman open the door and announce their arrival. Vivi is a tad late to her own ball, but she doesn’t care. She wants to steal a moment with Haseul before they are swept up into their duties once again.
They stand off to the side, both dresses in extravagant gowns that shimmer in the light. Vivi holds tightly to Haseul’s hand as a rush of emotions flows through her. This ball is the formal end of her time as Queen, though not the official end. It’s a send off, a celebration. All throughout the week the people of Fiore have been sending bouquets of pink and yellow calla lilies to the palace. Similar to the people sending birds of paradise as a sign of acceptance toward the partner the heir chooses, the calla lilies are sent as a sign of gratitude and appreciation of the monarch leaving the throne.
Vivi has been overwhelmed by the sheer amount of calla lilies that have filled the main hall. Among those flowers are birds of paradise flowers as well. The news of her and Haseul’s engagement has gotten out, though neither seem to care much anyway. Their relationship doesn’t affect the country, nor are they restrained to antiquated rules surrounding interclass marriages. It’s heartwarming to see the amount of birds of paradise sent for Haseul.
“I remember the day of my suitor's ball,” Vivi smiles despite the pain of the memory. “I waited so anxiously on this side of the door wishing desperately that I could cancel it. That I could run away and marry you instead.”
“I was thinking the same thing on the other side,” Haseul caresses Vivi’s cheek, a soft smile gracing her lips. “But we’re here now, love, that’s all that matters.”
“If only Kai could see us,” Vivi laughs.
“He’d yell at us for waiting so long.”
“And then he would demand a group hug.” They share a sad, but fond smile. No matter the amount of time that passes, they still feel that empty space where Kai should be. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Haseul kisses Vivi chastely. “Let’s do this thing, yeah?”
Vivi nods and gestures to Irene. The guard knocks on the door and soon the footman’s voice can be heard.
“Presenting, Her Royal Majesty, Kim-Wong Vivi, Queen of Fiore and Miss Jo Haseul,” the footman calls out across the silenced crowd of guests waiting in the ballroom. With a heavy thump of his staff, the doors swing open.
Vivi, on the arm of Haseul, walks gracefully out onto the balcony over the main floor. Haseul loosens her grip on Vivi’s arm and let’s her walk up to the railing alone to address the crowd. She’s filled with love in that moment as she remembers where they started. Haseul remembers the knots in her stomach at Vivi’s suitor’s ball as she listened from down below when she gave her speech. Now, she stands behind her Queen, her lover, her fiancée, waiting to whisk her down the stairs and into the Fioren dance. The night is a farewell to their past, to their old roles, and a greeting to the future they get to have together.
“Thank you all for being here tonight,” Vivi smiles cordially. “It is tradition in Fiore to bid farewell to the outgoing monarch when the heir is soon to assume the throne. While tonight may feel like a somber event, it is not. It is a night to celebrate. A celebration not only of the twenty-five years I have ruled Fiore, but of my daughter as well. Princess Hyunjin is soon to marry and assume her rightful position as Queen of Fiore. I am endlessly proud of her and have no doubt that she will lead this beautiful country with integrity and fairness. It is the end of an era, but the start of a bright future.” Vivi glances over her shoulder, smiling at Haseul. “We should all welcome the new era with an open mind, open arms, and open hearts.”
Below, Hyunjin raises a glass. “To Queen Vivi.”
Around her, guests lift their glasses, echoing her sentiment. “To Queen Vivi.”
Haseul guides Vivi down the stairs onto the main floor. The guests back up, creating a circle on the ballroom floor. Notes of the Fioren dance begin to ring out as Vivi and Haseul get into position. They’re joined by Hyunjin and Jinsol. Per tradition, the incoming monarchs are to share the dance, a symbol of cooperation and respect.
Haseul kneels, kissing Vivi’s hand. She stands and steps behind Vivi, Haseul reaches around her waist and grabs both of her hands. Vivileans back into the embrace as they slowly step together to the beat. Haseul spins her out of her embrace and back to her so they are face to face. They continue their dance across the ballroom.
Slowly, guests begin to join in.
“Are you sad to be stepping down?” Haseul asks.
“I’ll always be Queen, I just won’t be the sitting Queen,” Vivi says.
“You know what I mean,” Haseul rolls her eyes.
“I’ll be happy to have less duties and more time to be with you.”
“That’s a better answer.” Haseul continues to guide them around the ballroom. Vivi is radiant under the glow of the chandelier. Her smile takes her breath away. Haseul’s heart hammers against her chest, itching to kiss her. “I want to kiss you.”
“Then kiss me,” Vivi lifts an eyebrow.
Haseul glances around them. Sees all the faces watching their every move. “People are looking.”
“Let them look.”
Loud laughter fills their space, breaking through the music. Hyunjin and Heejin dance by in exaggerated motions, dipping and twirling each other across the floor in a carefree fashion. Jungeun and Jinsol rush after them, equal looks of annoyance and endearment on their faces.
“Everyone will look at them now,” Vivi says.
Haseul’s body relaxes into Vivi’s arms. She smiles before kissing Vivi slowly in the middle of the ballroom, as the last notes of the dance ring out around them.
Hyejoo stands at the edge of the ballroom keeping a watchful eye on Hyunjin. Wendy is standing with her, her eyes following Jinsol as the two Princesses dance together. They’ve been silently watching the two women and keeping an eye on their surroundings. Other guards roam the room and the perimeters of the palace to ensure the safety of those in the room.
Her gaze drifts to her mom dancing with Vivi. They had told Hyejoo the news of their engagement shortly after they told Hyunjin. It came as no surprise to Hyejoo. She had been and is still happy for them.
She had texted Yerim and Hyunjin in their group chat after.
[Princess👑 & the Paupers💔💔]
Hyejoo: since we’re sisters now Hyun
[Hyejoo named the conversation “Princesses👑👑 & the Pauper💔”]
Hyejoo: there that’s better😌😌
Yerim: not fair! I wanna be a princess too 😭😭😭😭
Hyunjin: then marry royalty.
Hyejoo laughs again now remembering the pout Yerim had on her face when the three of them saw each other before the ball. She knows Hyunjin is going to cave and make Yerim an honorary princess just to make the puppy eyes go away. But not before they tease her about it for a while.
The night has been dragging for Hyejoo. Chaewon had told her earlier in the day that she would be at the ball because Vivi had invited her personally. She’s been looking for her so what feels like an eternity.
Just as she was about to give up and move to another level to keep an eye on Hyunjin, the doors to the ballroom open again. Hyejoo’s eyes snap in the direction, her jack falling slack.
Chaewon walks into the room, eyeing the guests nervously. Her hands run down her grey gown as she searches for someone. Hyejoo swallows thickly at the sight, adjusting the tie of her suit.
Wendy chuckles, “Go.”
“What?” Hyejoo squeaks, looking at her.
“Go get your girl, I can watch Hyunjin and Jinsol.”
“She’s not my girl.”
“She could be if you did something about it,” Wendy says, eyes still following the Princesses as they dance.
Hyejoo narrows her eyes at Wendy’s side profile, “Says you. How’s it going with Irene?”
Wendy finally looks at her, a loud laugh spilling from her lips. “Irene and I have a date tomorrow. So maybe you should listen to me and do something about your feelings for Chaewon.”
“But—”
“Go,” Wendy pushes Hyejoo out into the crowd.
With a final glare, Hyejoo makes her way to Chaewon who is still standing by the entrance to the ballroom. She has to actively remind herself to put one foot in front of the other carefully so she doesn’t fall.
Chaewon’s face lights up when she sees Hyejoo approaching her.
“Can I have this dance?” Hyejoo bows, extending her hand.
“As long as you don’t step on my feet,” Chaewon teases with a grin. She takes Hyejoo’s hand and let’s her guide them onto the dance floor.
Hyejoo places one hand on Chaewon’s waist and grips her hand with the other. “I’m an excellent dancer, I promise. I grew up with Hyunjin and she used me as her dance partner.”
“I dunno,” Chaewon says, “You turn to putty when I’m around.”
“Do you blame me?” Hyejoo steps forward, leading them in a simple dance. “You’re beautiful.” She delivers the line with ease, with confidence, as she moves them gracefully across the ballroom.
Chaewon blushes, speechless. She’s always adored the clumsy charms of Hyejoo and found it endearing ever since the day they first met. This confident side of Hyejoo is making Chaewon’s brain stall.
Hyejoo grins, though her stomach is filled with butterflies seeing the effect she has on Chaewon.
“Hyunjin and Jinsol’s gowns are stunning,” Hyejoo says, giving Chaewon an easy out.
“You should see their wedding dresses,” Chaewon says. Hyunjin had approached her the other day and asked her to design their wedding dresses. It’s an honor, truly. Chaewon got to work on the sketches for them right away.
“I have no doubt they’ll blow us all away.” Hyejoo regards Chaewon softly, eye contact unwavering.
Chaewon ducks her head. “Are you trying to see how many times you can make me blush?”
Hyejoo laughs as they continue their dance around the ballroom. She pays no mind to the curious glances from her mom or the teasing ones from Hyunjin. “Maybe...or maybe I don’t want to mess this up like I always do.”
“You don’t mess it up. I like you as you are. Clumsiness and all.”
“You—you like me?” Hyejoo balks, her feet stumble on the floor, but she catches herself quickly. She continues leading them as if nothing happened.
Chaewon smiles adoringly at her and nods. She waits a moment, watching the gears turn as Hyejoo takes in her words and then, she smiles. It’s bright, warm, ecstatic. She’s beaming brighter than the lights in the room.
“I like you too,” She breathes, relieved, happy, filled with contentment she hadn’t realized she was searching for.
Chaewon laughs airily, “I’m aware.”
The blush that dusts Hyejoo’s cheeks is almost too much for Chaewon to handle. She’s enamored. Spellbound. Without hesitation, Chaewon leans up and kisses Hyejoo. It’s just a peck, but it still sends a shiver down her spine.
Hyejoo’s eyes are wide when Chaewon leans back. Her mouth trying desperately to form words.
“I’m—I’m sorry, I should’ve asked. I hope that was okay…” Chaewon says.
“More than okay,” Hyejoo whispers, her face relaxing into a tiny smile.
“So, can I kiss you again?”
Hyejoo grips Chaewon’s hip tighter and pulls her closer, their bodies flush together. “You can kiss me whenever you’d like.”
Over Chaewon’s shoulder, Hyejoo sees Hyunjin walk by with Jinsol. Hyunjin shoots her two thumbs up and a teasing grin. Hyejoo ignores her and instead, focuses back on Chaewon.
“How about now?” Chaewon clasps her hands behind Hyejoo’s neck.
“Now is good.” Hyejoo closes the gap, smiling into the kiss and holding her tighter, not wanting to let her go.
Yerim is in the kitchen yelling at the waitstaff. One of them has dropped more food than she can even count, not to mention the amount of glasses he’s broken. She swears if anything else falls or breaks she’s going to start pulling her hair out. The countless hours she spent planning this ball to perfection were not going to go to waste.
Another crash draws her attention. Changbin stands by the fallen food with a sheepish smile.
“Clean it up! Now!” Yerim shouts, clutching the clipboard in her hand tightly. “If you drop anything else I will fire you!”
Changbin scrambles to get the broom. Other waitstaff stare in astonishment. Chefs and cooks shift in their spots but continue their work.
Chungha looks like she wants to go to Yerim but decides against it when she shouts again.
“All of you, stop gawking, we have appetizers and desserts to get out to the ballroom!” Yerim glares at all of them before whisking out the door to the hallway. She ducks into an alcove near the back exit and presses her back against the cool stone of the wall. “Pull it together, Yerim,” she mutters to herself.
It’s been a long week and an even longer night. Her nerves are frayed and patience is running thin. Which is apparent since she has never raised her voice like that at anyone. Maybe this is her breaking point. She’s spent so much time, so many sleepless nights planning this ball to perfection only for it to crumble the night of.
First it was them being short two tables, how that happened Yerim has no idea. She had to change the floor plan at the last minute.
Then it was the florist arriving late and not having the exact amount of flowers she ordered. Thankfully, she was already two tables short, so it worked out, but it still did not help her calm down.
Now it’s the waitstaff, Changbin, constantly dropping food and glasses. Yerim is going to lose it if she hears another—
A crash echoes from the kitchen followed by Changbin cursing, “Sorry!”
“I’m going to kill him. I’m going to kill him and—” Yerim tugs on her hair, heaving a frustrated sigh.
“Remind me not to get on your bad side,” Yeojin says as she approaches her slowly. She had heard Yerim yelling before she reached the hallway. It didn’t seem like a good idea to approach her, but Yeojin can tell she’s upset.
“I don’t usually threaten to fire people…or kill them. Maybe I should go apologize…” Yerim pushes herself off the wall, but Yeojin stops her.
“Changbin had it coming. He breaks or drops something at every event,” Yeojin says.
Yerim groans, falling back against the wall. “How does Haseul do this?”
“She accounts for what Changbin breaks, doubles it, and then adds that to the total amount of what she needs.” Yeojin leans next to her on the way.
“Why didn’t she tell me that? She’s been training me for years!”
“Honestly, she probably forgot that was the reason. She just naturally adds the same incendiary numbers for food, drinks, and glasses,” Yeojin shrugs. She’s spent enough time in the kitchen and around the royal advisor to know her. Plus, she usually is in the kitchen during these events to see Changbin fucking it up every time.
“Any other tricks? I’m this close—” Yerim creates a small gap between her thumb and pointer finger— “from crying.”
“Talk about it,” Yeojin guides her over to the bench next to the door to the back yard. “Haseul has talked my ear off or my mom’s off at these things before.”
Yerim sighs, leaning against Yeojin as they sit beside each other. Things have been different for them since they confessed, but not different in a bad way. Just different. They spend more time alone together, dancing around each other not really sure what they are exactly. Not that Yerim has had the time to really think about it with her workload. All that she really knows is having Yeojin here with her right now is comforting.
“I don’t think I’m very good at this. Every event I’ve run alone over the last several months has had some kind of disaster. I feel like I’m never ahead of the curve.” Yerim twists her fingers in her lap. “Hyejoo is a great guard. Hyunjin is an amazing ruler already. And I’m just—I’m just Yerim. I want to be great at something, too.”
Yerim’s voice breaks, a tear sliding down her face. She looks away to hide them from Yeojin’s view.
“Haseul wouldn’t have chosen to step down if she wasn’t confident that you would do well. I’ve seen you in action, Yerim, you have perfected parts of the process that Haseul never has. You’re still new to this, still have more to learn. You learn from your mistakes. Now you know Changbin can’t be trusted and you’ll fix it for the next event,” Yeojin takes a hold of Yerim’s hand, and gets her attention. She smiles gently at her, “For what it’s worth, I believe you’re great at what you do. You’re not Just Yerim to me.”
Yerim wipes her face. She let’s Yeojin’s presence and words wash over her like a calming light. She launches herself into Yeojin’s arms, hugging her tightly.
“Thank you, I needed to hear that,” Yerim says, taking a deep breath. There’s only so much she can control with these events. She can only plan for so much. She’ll have to adapt and learn as she goes, and that’s okay.
“I’m always here for you. Whatever you need, I’ll do my best to give it to you.”
“Do I still get those baskets even though it’s you?” Yerim smiles, her worries slowly fading away.
“I’ll still make you some...if you go on a date with me,” Yeojin grins.
“I’d love to.”
Yeojin blushes, “Cool, cool…” She is blushing a brighter shade of red as she looks at Yerim’s growing smile. Months of being a secret admirer and all it took was a handful of words to get a date with Yerim.
“I’m looking forward to it, it’ll give me something to think about so I don’t scream at Changbin again when he inevitably breaks something,” Yerim hugs Yeojin again before standing. Her in-ear goes off calling her attention to the ballroom where Haseul is looking for her. Yerim turns back to Yeojin with a frown, “And that’s my cue.”
“Go kick ass,” Yeojin grins with a thumbs up.
Yerim hesitates, then leans down and kisses Yeojin’s cheek. She sends her one last smile before running off down the hallway.
Yeojin sits dumbfounded on the bench, hand touching her cheek, trying to get her brain to start back up again. She enters the kitchen to help her mom eventually with a dopey smile on her face and red cheeks.
Later in the night, Heejin steps out to the garden off the side of the ballroom. The glass doors are open letting the music spill into the night. Her heels click on the stone as she walks in search of Jungeun. Heejin last saw her walking off while she was stuck in a conversation with a Fioren dignitary. So much for a partnership.
The conversation had been incredibly dull and Heejin used just about every excuse in the book until the man finally got the hint.
She wanders through the garden now toward the fountain illuminated in the night. Flowers glow in the light cast off from the lamps and fairy lights strung through the trees surrounding the garden.
On a bench, hunched over with her chin propped up on her hand, Heejin spots Jungeun. Her heart flutters at the sight. The night they met rushing back to her mind. She never thought that night would change the course of her life as much as it has.
They became fast friends that night. Now they’re engaged. And Heejin is falling for Jungeun nearly as quickly as their friendship had bloomed.
Looking at Jungeun under the lights, Heejin knows that she made the right choice that night approaching her at Valo’s Spring Solstice Ball. She’s not sure where she would be now if she didn’t have her in her life.
“Are you okay?” Heejin asks, stepping up to Jungeun.
Jungeun smiles at her softly, a flicker of recognition in her eyes. “Just Reminiscing.”
Heejin offers a hand to her, “Care to reminisce some more on the dance floor? I’ve been told I’m an excellent dancer.”
Laughing, Jungeun takes her hand, “You’ve certainly proved that you are. Maybe that fire was a one time thing after all.”
“I hope you’d still marry me if it had been a two time thing,” Heejin rests Jungeun’s hand on the crook over her elbow, leading them back to the ballroom.
“I’d marry you no matter what.”
They enter the ballroom, the music swelling and seamlessly transitioning into the next song. Heejin sees Jinsol and Hyunjin wrapped in each other’s arms, dancing happily at the other side of the ballroom. When she turns to Jungeun, she finds the older woman had only been looking at her. A blush covers her cheeks. She guides them out into the guests orbiting around the dance floor.
With her hand on Jungeun’s hip and the other clasping Jungeun’s, Heejin begins to move them to the beat of the music. They’re graceful in their movements. Effortless in their steps. Perfectly in sync as they always have been.
“Any new gossip on the nobility?” Jungeun asks to distract herself from her urge to kiss Heejin again. It’s not the time or place for that, no matter how badly she wants to. Their kiss had been electrifying, passionate, and it made Jungeun want to confess on the spot. When she came crashing down from the adrenaline rush, Jungeun had become acutely aware of the sweaty mat that had been laying on and the less than romantic space that the gym is for such a confession.
The words have been on the tip of her tongue ever since.
“Hmm, I don’t have any solid gossip, but…” Heejin looks around carefully, a playful smile on her lips. “There is this one rumor.”
“Really? Do tell,” Jungeun grins.
Heejin looks into Jungeun’s eyes, her smile softening. Everyone else in the ballroom fades away. To her, there is only Jungeun, the music, and the feeling of Jungeun’s hands on her body.
“Well, rumor has it that a certain Princess has fallen in love with a daughter of a duchess,” Heejin whispers, gaze steady on Jungeun; unwavering, filled with more than just playful curiosity.
Jungeun’s heart leaps in her chest. “You don’t say,” she manages to croak out. She’s overwhelmed. Senses filled with Heejin.
“It might be a rumor, but I think it’s true,” Heejin says sincerely, all traces of her joking disappearing.
Just then, Somi spins by in the arms of Lady Doyeon. Jungeun catches sight of them out of the corner of her eyes and wonders, briefly, if Heejin is talking about them.
But when she looks back at Heejin, her eyes full of love, Jungeun thinks maybe Heejin does feel the same. Maybe she’s just as afraid to tell her as Junguen is.
“That’s one hell of a rumor.”
“What do you think?” Heejin guides them across the ballroom floor, gliding alongside other nobles in perfect harmony. “Do you think the Lady loves the Princess too?”
Heejin’s heart is in her throat as she asks this. She has no doubt about her own feelings; it’s one thing she is absolutely certain of. Her only hope is that she is worthy of Jungeun’s love too.
Jungeun tightens her grip on Heejin, “I have a feeling she does.”
Jinsol steps into the ballroom again after taking a moment to herself. Guests crowd the ballroom making it impossible for her to find Hyunjin again. They had been having a lovely night. It felt right, more right than anything else in Jinsol’s life. Like things were finally clicking into place.
They work well as a team, feeding off each other’s energy and communicating without a word. Jinsol knows this is just the start of their relationship. She can only imagine the strength and power they will hold as wives, as Queens.
Her heart flutters at the idea. At the idea of standing beside Hyunjin in a white dress and committing herself to the woman she loves and the country that has welcomed her as one of their own.
Music is coming from the string quartet sitting up on the balcony. The notes wash over the guests in waves. And just as the crescendo hits, the guests that have been blocking her view seem to part as if controlled by the music. Servers pass by with silver trays and polite smiles. Nobles glance her way with knowing looks. Jinsol sees Hyejoo and Chaewon dancing by, they both gesture to her left.
When she turns, her breath catches in her throat.
Amidst it all stands a beautiful woman in a gown the color of the mood and hair like the night sky. Jinsol’s heart flips when Hyunjin catches sight of her too and she’s greeted by the most radiant smile.
Jinsol wastes no time crossing the room to her. She curtsies and extends her hand to Hyunjin, “May I have this dance, Your Highness?”
“You may, Your Highness,” Hyunjin laughs, taking her hand. Hyunjin doesn’t know what it is about this moment, but something is shifting. Something in the way Jinsol is looking at her, how she takes the lead instead of Hyunjin. How they move more in sync with each other than they have ever before.
They don’t exchange words through the first song. Their eyes bore into each other’s, speaking for them where words are not enough. Instead they revel in tenderness of the moment.
It isn’t until the second song starts that Jinsol finally finds her words again.
“You’re breathtaking,” Jinsol sighs, a smile tugging at her lips.
“I’ve got nothing on you, Sol,” Hyunjin whispers.
“You’ve been calling me that a lot, for a while now.”
“Have I?” Hyunjin grins, tilting her head. “Do you not like it?”
“I do like it, I just—why?”
“Jinsol. Sol.” Hyunjin shrugs, though Jinsol can tell there’s more to the meaning than that.
“No one’s ever called me that before,” Jinsol adds.
“That’s part of why I like it,” Hyunjin admits with a blush. “It’s my name for you.”
Hyunjin glances away. She watches the room spin by as they continue to dance slowly. Friends and nobles pass them, each caught up in their own world. Moving in careful steps and practiced ease.
“Do you know what Sol means?” Hyunjin asks, turning back to Jinsol who shakes her head. “It’s latin, meaning the sun. You’re my sun, is what I’m trying to say. I was in a dark place facing the enormity of my duties as heir to the throne. And then you came, you lit up my whole world, the light at the end of the tunnel. You guided me, kept me warm, protected me. You’re my sun.”
Jinsol’s smile is watery, her heart full at the admission. Hyunjin and her have always been open with each other, candid in ways many others may not be. But there have rarely been times where Hyunjin has admitted the way she feels about her. Not in so many words. This admission makes Jinsol feel hope that Hyunjin truly does feel what she feels.
Her own insecurities get the best of her most days. They may be engaged, they may have kissed, but that doesn’t change that feelings don’t always play a role in either of those things. Jinsol can’t easily forget the pain she felt confessing to Jungeun just for her to leave. But here, right now, in Hyunjin’s arms, it’s easy to forget. Easy to pretend that falling in love can be painless and have a happy ending.
For right now, Jinsol focuses on Hyunjin’s words. On the amount of love that doubles inside her knowing that Hyunjin sees her as the sun. Her sun.
“You’re quite the romantic,” Jinsol whispers. She runs her hand down the bodice of Hyunjin’s dress, fingers tracing the leaves and vines of the flower design.
“I have my moments.”
“That’s really what you think of me?” Jinsol asks before twirling her out of her arms.
“You make me want to be a better version of myself,” Hyunjin answers, falling back into Jinsol’s arms. Her back pressed to Jinsol’s front, they sway to the music. “You helped me grow.”
Jinsol is dizzy with how much she is feeling. The words bubble up in her throat, spilling out of her mouth as she turns Hyunjin around, looking her in the eyes. “Hyunjin, I—”
Hyejoo appears beside them with Chaewon in her arms, they grin at the other couple. Hyunjin tries to shoo her away, but they won’t leave. Invading her and Jinsol’s space making silly faces and teasing them.
“Hyejoo, go away,” Hyunjin says, her eyes still glued to Jinsol. “You what, Sol?”
Hyunjin swears Jinsol is about to say it, about to say the three words that have been rattling around in her own mind lately.
“I, um, I…” Jinsol glances at Hyejoo and then back to Hyunjin. This isn’t how she wants to say it. Not with Hyejoo watching. Not in a room filled with a hundred people. She swallows the words. “I feel the same way. You helped me grow, too.”
“Gross,” Hyejoo groans. Her and Chaewon make the same face before they spin away.
Hyunjin sighs in relief. She could’ve sworn Jinsol was about to confess, to say the words she has been dying to say herself.
“I’m lucky I met you,” Jinsol smiles.
“Me too.” Hyunjin presses forward, kissing Jinsol on the lips. She doesn’t care if it’s uncouth as a Princess or soon to be Queen. If she can’t find the courage to tell Jinsol how she feels, at least she can pour it into a kiss and hope that it speaks for itself.
Notes:
Annddd I'm back in school again. dsal;dkjf why I decided to do a year round masters program is beyond me but whatever. It's still early in the semester so I'm hopeful I'll have time to finish chapter 18 before the end of september, but I have no idea when I'll update again, so if you wanna stay up to date on things, follow me on twitter.
OH AND ALSO. chapter 18 will be the last chapter of the main story, as in the three epilogues I have planned won't come until later. so ONE MORE CHAPTER Y'ALL.
Or check out the #loonamttc tag on twitter
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates @/zags96
ask me things here: https://curiouscat.qa/zags96
Chapter 18: New Beginnings
Notes:
This is it, y'all. The end...Thank you so much to everyone who has read this fic, who has helped me with it, who has listened to me scream and cry and rant about this.
One last recap?VISEUL ENGAGEMENT. Lipsoul finally make up and are besties again yay! They have a nice little heart to heart and confess that they love their fiancees (duh, we all knew that). Jungeun AND HEEJIN KISS. THEY DO. FINALLY. Jungeun also meddles just a little bit and helps Yeojin and Yerim get their shit together. AND YERIM FINALLY FIGURES OUT YEOJIN IS HER SECRET ADMIRER (i think this fic should've been named "finally" bc how many times have we said that???). Viseul give Hyunjin the letter and bow Kai left for her and she reads it with Jinsol next to her. The farewell ball! Ahhh, Viseul happily dancing together. Hyewon confessing and kissing (ALSO FINALLY). Yeojin calmed Yerim down and helped her out during the ball cute little babies. OKAY BUT THE HEELIP SCENE IS A DIRECT PARALELL TO THEIR FIRST TIME MEETING I HOPE YALL SAW THAT. Jinsol and Hyunjin being cute and shit and ALMOST CONFESSING BUT HYEJOOOOOOO interrupted. will they ever find peace? AND THAT'S WHAT YOU MISSED ON MTTC. onward and upwards people, this is the finale.
(hint, they find peace).
(also hint, half the main characters got their happy endings last chapter, so this focuses on the rest. ENJOY).
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter Eighteen: New Beginnings
Jungeun sits next to Jinsol on the piano bench in the Kim-Wong’s Palace. Fall is fast approaching and with it comes the realization that they’ll have to marry in six months' time. The Statera Parliament is less flexible than the Fioren one. Jungeun knows that her and Heejin have to adhere to the strict time limit that has been set for them. Meaning that by the time Spring rolls back around, they’ll have to be married and crowned.
She’s trying not to panic. And it’s not because of the weight of the crown that is looming over her head, no, it’s the weight of the words she has yet to say to Heejin. Or hear from Heejin for that matter.
Jungeun tries to shake it off, to enjoy the time she has left with Jinsol. Her and Heejin leave to go back to Statera to begin wedding preparations in two days. This is really one of the last chances Jungeun will have to spend time with Jinsol without obligations and duty getting in their way.
Afterall, they will be Queens soon.
Jinsol reaches over and messes up Jungeun’s playing. The jumbled sound of notes falls ungracefully from the piano. This isn’t like the last time they were in the piano room, or the time before that either. There is no fighting, no confessions of love to each other. It’s playful, though a somber feeling hangs in the air. They just got each other back, neither really want to part again.
Before Jungeun can retaliate at Jinsol for messing up her playing, her phone buzzes. She ignores Jinsol’s teasing grin to grab her phone, only to see a message from her mama.
“They said they’d text us when they’re done working out,” Jinsol laughs at Jungeun’s poorly hidden disappointment. “You’re so whipped.”
Jungeun huffs, “That’s rich coming from you.”
“Oh, I am, but that’s not news to me. You are in denial.”
“I’m not! I—I love Heejin, I’m in love with her,” Jungeun says, sitting up a little straighter.
Jinsol smiles, tilting her head. “Have you told her that?”
Jungeun deflates, “I, um...well, no.”
“You should.”
“It’s not like I’ll lose her if I don’t...we’re getting married,” Jungeun says, though she doesn’t believe her own words. She could lose her, maybe not physically, but in a different way, in a way that would probably hurt far worse.
Jinsol rolls her eyes, “That’s not the point.”
“I’ll tell her when I’m ready,” Jungeun looks away.
“At this point, you’ll never be ready. Jungie, come on, why haven’t you told her?”
Jungeun turns back to face Jinsol quickly, “Why haven’t you told Hyunjin you love her?”
Jinsol stares down at the keys of the piano, “It’s not that simple.”
“Excuses, excuses.”
“We’ve kissed and we’ve danced around saying but...I dunno,” Jinsol sighs, running her finger over the keys slowly.
Jungeun watches cautiously. She had only intended to tease Jinsol thinking they were in the same boat of just being irrationally afraid, but it seems there’s more to Jinsol’s worries.
“I know she’s all in with me, she’s said it herself, but I…” Jinsol sighs, turning to Jungeun finally. “What if she leaves me too? What if I tell her I love her and she—she leaves?”
“Just because I did doesn’t mean she will. Hyunjin isn’t me, Jin.”
“I know that!” Jinsol yells, then takes a deep breath. “I know that, but that doesn’t mean I’m not scared it’ll happen again. I forgive you for what happened, but I haven’t forgotten how it made me feel. I don’t want that to happen again...I think it would be worse this time if Hyunjin…”
“Stop,” Jungeun takes a hold of her hands. “You’re sabotaging yourself. Hyunjin told you she’s all in, you know how deeply you feel for her, and I can tell you right now that I can see how deeply she cares for you. You need to trust her, Jinsol. Has she even lied to you before?”
“Only about Heejin. Well, okay, that was more of a lie by omission.”
Jungeun groans, “Don’t remind me, that was painful even for me. Heejin’s assured me that they’re just friends. You need to talk to her about this.”
“What about Heejin? Are you going to tell her?” Jinsol asks.
“I will, when I’m ready.”
The door to the music room opens and Vivi pokes her head in. “Ah, there you are, Jungeun. Krystal sent a car for you, it’s out front to take you to our jet.”
“Thank you, Vivi, I’ll be down in a minute.”
Vivi glances between the two and then focuses on the downtrodden look on Jinsol’s face. She hopes everything is okay, but she’s learned her lesson on meddling.
“Think about it, Jin. I’ll see you later.”
“Wait, why is my sister sending you a car?”
Jungeun waves her off, “She’ll tell you when it’s time.” With that, Jungeun exits the music room, thanking Vivi again as she passes by.
Vivi turns to Jinsol, “You okay?”
“Just thinking…” Jinsol closes the fallboard. She hasn’t heard from Hyunjin yet about where she is or if they’ve finished their work out, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask Vivi. “You wouldn’t happen to know where Hyunjin is, do you?”
“Terrace. Her and Heejin just finished their work out, I believe.” Vivi gives her a curious look before leaving.
Jinsol wonders why Hyunjin hadn’t texted her like she promised. She tries not to dwell on it, but leaves the music room with a lot on her mind.
Prime Minister Joy stands in front of Krystal and Jungeun with an unreadable expression. Their co-rule law had just been introduced to the members of parliament earlier today and Jungeun knows that their meeting right now is to inform them if it passed or not. Her and Krystal hadn’t spoken much on the drive from the landing strip, both too nervous and excited to see if their hard work would pay off.
“Joy, can you please tell us already?” Jungeun begs, trying to calm her racing heart. The seconds stretch on like an eternity. This law can mean so much for Valo, for her own career and feeling of worth. Being a part of this and being able to see it succeed would mean everything to Jungeun. It would give her something to take pride in, to prove to herself and the people of Valo and Statera that she is a competent Lady and a soon-to-be Queen.
“It passed,” Joy smiles. “By a wide margin I might add. The members were very impressed by the law, and by you especially Lady Jungeun.”
Krystal and Jungeun both grin and wrap each other in a celebratory embrace.
Joy settles into the large chair behind her desk, steepling her fingers. “Since we’ve kept this hush-hush, Queen Jessica has no idea that the law has even been introduced let alone passed.”
“She won’t like being surprised like that at the next audience…” Krystal scratches the back of her head.
“Which is why you need to talk to her and explain it so she doesn’t perceive it as us undermining her, or like it’s some kind of an attack on her,” Jungeun points out to Krystal.
“Congratulations to you two, you did an excellent job. You created a law that will change the course of this country’s future,” Joy says. There’s a fondness in her smile as she looks upon the two women before her.
“I can’t wait to tell my moms!” Jungeun can’t surprise the excitement. That feeling of knowing she did something she is proud of, that is going to make a difference when it’s hopefully put into action.
“And I have to tell my sister,” Krystal groans.
Joy’s assistant comes in to inform her of her next appointment and begins to show Krystal and Jungeun out.
“Good luck, I do hope you can convince her,” Joy says before bidding them a good day.
Outside in the hallway, Jungeun calls for the driver to bring her to her parents house for a late lunch. She can’t wait to tell them the good news and hope that Jessica will pass it.
“You can do it,” Jungeun turns to Krystal with a reassuring smile. “You’ve been going up against Jessica for years, she listens to you.”
Krystal sighs, “She might not listen this time.”
“Make her.” Jungeun gives her one last hug before leaving the building.
Krystal follows her guards out the building and into her own car. She instructs her driver to take her back to the palace and hopes that Jessica won’t be as stubborn as she usually is. Her sister has been ruling Valo alone since she was seventeen. That’s longer than most people her age have had to shoulder the immense responsibility that is being a ruler. Jessica is uptight, duty focused, and independent, sometimes to her own detriment. But over the past couple months Krystal has seen her become lighter and that’s a good thing. Maybe this time Jessica will listen.
The moment Krystal gets to the palace she rushes to her sister’s suite and barges in. She skitters to a stop at the sight of Sunny and Jessica sitting very closely together on the couch. The pair scoot away from each other at the intrusion, both blushing furiously.
“Krystal! Knock first!” Jessica scolds.
Krystal simply raises a brow, then turns to Sunny. “Can I speak with my sister privately please?”
Sunny shrugs and stands to leave, “Be my guest.” She smiles at Krystal as she passes by, but doesn’t look back.
Jessica stares after her with a pained expression as the door shuts behind Sunny. She turns to glare at her sister, “What do you want?”
“I’m gonna tell you something and I need you to listen. Don’t speak until I’m done please.”
She sighs and gestures for Krystal to continue.
“Jungeun and I created a law for an unmarried monarch in Valo to have a co-ruler. Joy introduced it to Parliament and it passed today,” Krsytal says quickly. Jessica narrows her eyes at her sister but remains silent. “You are more than capable to lead, but you know you’re overwhelmed and stressed. We thought this could help. It’s not a jab at your competence but you need help, Jessica.”
Krystal takes a deep breath when she’s finished, clasping her hands together in anticipation for her sister’s reaction.
“Okay,” Jessica sighs.
“Don’t fight me on this, I—wait,” Krystal stops, having fully anticipated her sister to fight back. “Okay?”
“You’re right,” Jessica says, “I can’t keep going on like this. I’m drowning and I need help.”
“Who the fuck are you?” Krystal looks at her like she has three heads .
Jessica glances wistfully at the spot Sunny had been sitting in a moment ago. They’d been close, closer than before. But she doesn’t know how to go past that line of being...well, just coworkers.
Maybe she should talk to Vivi about this.
Jessica slouches against the couch and sighs, “I realized that I need to do what makes me happy; follow what I want. I want more free time…”
“More time to be with Sunny…”
“Maybe...but to also be with you, and Yerin, and Jinnie. And hopefully to be with Yeji if all goes well with that,” Jessica says, thoughts heavy with all she’s missed and all she could miss if she keeps going the way she is now. “There are more important things in life than this stupid crown. I deserve more in life than what I’ve allowed myself.”
Krystal finds herself smiling widely at her sisters, partially in shock but also in awe. “I’m proud of you.”
Jessica rolls her eyes, but smiles anyway. She pats the spot next to her on the couch, “Tell me about this co-rule law.”
Sunny is at her desk in her room. It’s well past midnight and she wants to finish the schedule for Jessica so that she’ll have time to prepare herself. She’s anticipating a long night, longer than most. What she isn’t anticipating is the knock on her door nor is she expecting to find a disheveled and exhausted Jessica on the other side.
“You’re majesty?” Sunny opens the door wider and Jessica comes in. She starts pacing the floor and muttering to herself. Sunny isn’t sure what to do at the moment, all she can do is watch Jessica with concern. She’s seen her in a panic over plenty of things throughout her time working in the palace, but she’s never seen Jessica like this.
Sunny walks towards her and gently lays a hand on Jessica’s arm to stop her.
“Hey, hey, Jessica, it’s okay. What’s going on?”
Jessica looks at Sunny for the first time. “I haven’t slept in days.”
“There’s been a lot going on in your country, you’re not expected to—”
She shakes her head, gazing desperately at Sunny. “It’s not that. I mean, not all of it. It’s—you’re always there Sunny.”
“What?”
“You—you’re everywhere. Whenever I need you, whenever something happens, you’re there. You help me and I—I never realized how much you do for me.”
Sunny swallows thickly. She looks away, heat rising to her face. There’s a reason she’s always there, a reason she’d do anything for Jessica and it isn’t because she’s her advisor. It’s so much more than that, but she isn’t going to risk admitting that if that’s not the direction Jessica is going right now. “I’m just doing my job. You don’t need to thank me for that.”
Jessica catches her eyes, softly saying, “You do more than your job description asks of you. I don’t know why I never saw it before, never noticed how much you hold me up and take care of me and—and it’s driving me crazy. I can’t sleep. I’m overthinking everything you say and do and what it means to you. What it could mean for us. I—” Jessica runs a hand through her hair, gripping the strands tightly before letting them fall again. “I want to go after what I want and what makes me happy. I want to finally let myself be happy, really happy. All these nights I’ve been wondering what I’ve been feeling toward you because you make me happy. You lift me up, you make me want to be the Queen, sister, person I’ve always wanted to be.”
Jessica’s mind has been a whirlwind. She rushed to Sunny’s room without a plan, without a rehearsed speech. It’s messy and chaotic and entirely honest. It’s the first truly honest and desire driven thing Jessica has done since she was a teenager.
“I think I finally know what I’ve been feeling,” Jessica says. A calm falls over her at the idea of finally coming clean, of saying the words that have been bouncing around in her head for days. Weeks even.
Sunny’s heart is in her throat. This isn’t how she pictured her night going. She never thought she’d be in a place where Jessica would be saying any of these things to her right now. She didn’t think the woman she has harbored feelings for would be standing in front of her gazing at her with so much sincerity and tenderness. But here they are. Sunny just needs to hear Jessica say the words.
“What are you trying to say, Jessica?”
“I’m saying that I love you.”
“Jessica…”
Jessica’s shoulders relax and her posture begins to change completely. She’s calmer, more confident. “I love you, Sunny. I do. You don’t have to say it back, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. However you feel, whatever you choose, I’ll accept that. I just didn’t want to lose you because I waited too long.” Jessica goes to leave, hand on the door. She doesn’t expect a response, she knows she sprung this on Sunny, but she doesn’t want to make her feel like she doesn’t have a choice. Yet, she’s hoping…
“Wait.” Sunny calls to Jessica who turns around. “You love me.”
“I do,” Jessica smiles softly.
“You mean that?”
“Yes, it’s been right in front of me this whole time.”
“Then don’t leave,” Sunny takes Jessica’s hand, pulling her closer. “Stay.”
“What?” Jessica stares hopefully at her.
Sunny smiles, “I want to spend time with the woman I love. So, please, stay.”
Jessica steps closer to Sunny, cupping her face delicately, and leaning down to kiss her. The moment seems to be taking forever and Sunny surges forward, pressing into Jessica, and kissing her.
This isn’t how either woman thought tonight was going to go, but neither are complaining.
The next morning, Yerin stands outside of the newly renovated Clara Children’s Home. She’s dressed down today, no crisp regal attire in sight. Instead she wears a casual day dress in an attempt to appear less like royalty and more motherly. Yerin has no clue what that even means or looks like but she knows this is what she wants. All she can do is hope this is what Yeji wants, too.
She has loved Yeji from the day they met. Instantly inseparable. She understands the little girl more than anyone in the children’s home, more than anyone who could be her parents ever would. Over the past couple years Yerin has watched Yeji grow up and become the sweetest and most caring child. Breaking out of her shell and helping others whenever she. Yeji has the makings of an amazing Queen, but there’s so much more than that. So much more to Yerin wanting to adopt Yeji than to get an heir to the Jung throne.
Yerin can’t bear the thought of not having the privilege of being in Yeji’s life anymore. Can’t stand the idea that she won’t be able to raise her, help her, and support her throughout her life. And today’s the day Yerin can finally ask Yeji if this is the life she would want.
With one final brush over her clothes, Yerin pushes open the doors of the children’s home. Inside, kids scamper past greeting her with bright smiles. Many of the kids that had once lived here have been adopted since the carnival. A lot of Yeji’s friends have said their goodbyes and been whisked off to better homes filled with love and family.
Yeji has had her fair share of meetings with prospective families. Yerin’s heard enough about each one that she knows that they would all treat her well. That’s all Yerin can ask for. A family that will love her.
“I can do this,” Yerin whispers to herself outside of the interview room. Seulgi had pointed her in this direction and let her know Yeji was waiting for her next family to meet. Waiting for Yerin, though the little girl doesn’t know it yet.
Before she can work herself up and think of all the ways she could lose Yeji, Yerin pushes into the interview room and closes the door behind her.
Yeji sits up straighter and then notices who it is. Yerin can’t fight back her smile as Yeji’s eyes light up.
“Yerin! I didn’t think I’d see you today,” Yeji shifts in her seat. Her hair isn’t up in the usual pigtails nor is she in her play clothes like Yerin is used to. She’s dressed up for the family she’s supposed to be meeting. Yerin can tell she’s uncomfortable with the clothes, constantly fiddling with the buttons and fabric. All the times she had to wear stiff regal clothing growing flashes in her mind. Not for the first time does she wonder if being royalty is something Yeji would even want or be comfortable with.
“I came to see you,” Yerin smiles and sits down across from Yeji.
“Oh,” Yeji’s cheerful demeanor deflates. “That’s awesome but, uh, a family is coming to meet me. I might be adopted soon…”
Yerin settles further into her seat, her smile still as bright as it was when she first entered. “I know. I’m the family that’s here to meet you.”
The room falls quiet. Yeji’s face is almost unreadable as she looks away. Yerin can’t tell if the little girl is happy at the idea or upset. Knots start to twist in her stomach. She never thought Yeji would be against being a family, or at least be this put off at the idea of it, but maybe Seulgi was right. Maybe being royal isn’t for everyone. Maybe it’s not the life everyone wants to have.
Yerin reaches out to her. “Yeji—.”
“You mean like you’d be my mom?” Yeji says, head snapping back in Yerin’s direction. Her gaze is still neutral, unreadable, as if she’s afraid to believe this is reality.
“If you want me to be, I’d love to be your mom,” Yerin grasps one of Yeji’s hands.
“You would?” Yeji squeaks, clearly in disbelief. Her eyes are glassy as tears are tempted to fall. “You really wanna be my mom?”
Yerin tries her best to hold back her own emotions, but to see Yerin this emotional at the idea of being a family is more than she had dreamed.
“More than anything. I can’t imagine not having you in my life, not after all these years of being a mother-figure to you. There’s nothing I want more than to call you my daughter, to give you a great life full of love and a big family.” Yerin uses her free hand to wipe the tears off her face. “But being in this family—Yeji, becoming a Jung means becoming royalty. You’ll have a lot of responsibilities and rules to follow. It’s not an easy life, and I would understand if you didn’t want that.”
Yerin swallows thickly past the lump in her throat. This is the part that could make or break whatever happy ending this could have. If Yeji doesn’t want the life that comes with being a family, then that’s all there is to it.
“I’ve met your family,” Yeji says after a moment. “They’re nice.”
Yerin isn’t sure where this is going but she nods, “Yeah, they are. They all adore you already.”
“Would they stick up for me?” Yeji asks seriously. “Would they fight against bullies and protect me?”
“We all would. We will protect you when you need it and support you when you can handle it on your own,” Yerin says earnestly. “You’d be surrounded by the most loving and supportive people. We’ll all do our best by you. You won’t ever have to fight on your own.”
“And you’d be my mom.” Yerin nods. “And Queen Jessica would be my aunt.”
“Yes, and Krystal and Jinsol, too.”
“Hyunjin?”
Yerin laughs, “And Hyunjin, along with her family.”
“That’s a lot of people,” Yeji whispers, eyes wide. She smiles.
“And you, Yeji, you’d be a Princess.”
Yeji shrugs, “Okay, but I’d have you as my mom. I don’t care about that stuff.”
“You won’t be a normal kid anymore…”
“I’ve never been normal,” Yeji says, eyes welling with tears that start to spill out rapidly. “You’ve always been there for me. I want you to be my mom.”
“Really?” Yerin cries with her. Her heart is so incredibly full of love she feels like it’ll burst any moment.
Yerin doesn’t stop herself this time and rushes over to Yeji. She collects her into her arms and hugs her tightly. Yeji clings to her.
“I love you, Yeji. I’ll be the best mom I can for you,” Yerin promises, her hand cupping the back of Yeji’s head.
Yeji hugs Yerin even tighter and whispers, “You already are.”
Back in Fiore, Heejin and Hyunjin are having lunch in the kitchen. They were supposed to have lunch with Jungeun and Jinsol too but both women were preoccupied with family. Jungeun left her moms’ house later than she wanted so her flight won’t be getting back for another hour. While Jinsol is on the phone with Krystal being caught up on some law; Hyunjin isn’t sure about the details on that one.
Heejin and Hyunjin just finished up another work out in the gym. The last of their time together since Heejin and Jungeun leave for Statera tomorrow. Hyunjin insisted they just have lunch after their workout even though Heejin wanted to at least wait for their fiancées to be ready. Something about wanting to talk, but Heejin has no clue about what.
Hyunjin eats her sandwich quickly trying to preoccupy her mind.
“Need energy after getting your ass handed to you?” Heejin teases before taking a bite of her sandwich.
“I beat you three times!” Hyunjin defends.
“Out of twelve, Hyunjin. Twelve ,” Heejin laughs. “You really are no match for me.”
Hyunjin grumbles and takes a big bite out of her sandwich.
“So, what did you wanna talk about?” Heejin gasps exaggeratedly. “Oh, you don’t want to get together do you? I’m flattered and all, but I love Jungeun—”
“Will you shut up?” Hyunjin groans and drops her sandwich onto her plate. “I—I need advice. Or...I dunno, to talk it out? Hyejoo and Yerim are kind of useless with love stuff and—”
“Love?” Heejin yells, bringing the attention of the kitchen staff. She lowers her voice, “I mean, love ?”
Hyunjin rolls her eyes, “I love Jinsol. I’m—I really love her.”
“And you haven’t told her yet,” Heejin guesses, popping a chip into her mouth.
“Nope, I don’t know how or even what to say. I’ve never...I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
“I’ll try not to take that offensively,” Heejin says with a smirk. “What did you have in mind to say?”
“I don’t know!” Hyunjin rubs her face in frustration. She’s been racking her brain for days but she sounds ridiculous making a speech to herself in the mirror. Or in hushed whispers to Jinsol while she’s asleep late at night. Hyunjin just needed someone to bounce ideas off of and had hoped Heejin would be more help than her other two friends. But all she’s met with from Heejin is a challenging eyebrow raise. Hyunjin groans, “I dunno, like...Jinsol, I love you.”
“Boo!” Heejin throws a handful of chips at Hyunjin. “That was lame . That’s not gonna sweep her off her feet! Where’s the passion? The romance? You gotta make her believe you.”
“This isn’t a romance novel, Heejin. It doesn’t need to be some grandiose declaration of love.”
Heejin leans back in her seat, “Humor me then. Pour your heart out.”
Hyunjin is tempted to tell her to forget it and just leave, but then she’d still be without any ideas of what to say. What’s the worst that could happen if she just played along and tried?
“Fine,” Hyunjin sighs and takes a deep breath. She pictures Jinsol; her wide smile and loud laugh. Her gentleness and caring nature. She thinks of where they started and where they are now. When she opens her eyes she is filled with a love that she can’t even describe, but she’s going to try. “Sol, you’ve always been there for me and beside me for as long as I can remember. I found solace in you, in our friendship. You balance me and keep me calm even when you’re not with me. I never thought I’d look forward to being married, to ruling with someone else because I thought it’d be loveless. And then we got engaged and I...I realized how happy you make me. How excited I am to have you as my Queen. After all this time, after everything we’ve been through together and separately...you stayed. You never left. I’m—I love you.”
In the doorway, Jinsol stands watching as Heejin flings herself into Hyunjin’s arms. “I love you, too!” Heejin yells.
Jinsol’s tempted to leave, her heart aching her chest at hearing the last bit where Hyunjin told Heejin she loves her. But she stops herself. She trusts Hyunjin, and despite knowing that maybe there is more between the two women, Jinsol walks over the pair.
“Get off me, you’re so annoying.” Hyunjin yells and pushes Heejin to the ground. Jinsol clears her throat and both women look up at her. “Jinsol! Hi, um...how much of that did you hear?”
Jinsol opens her mouth intent on telling the trust but, “None of it.”
“Cool, good…” Hyunjin blushes, and stands. “Want to go for a walk, then?”
Jinsol hesitantly takes the hand Hyunjin offers to her.
Heejin can see the tension from Jinsol, the subtle glares sent her way. Part of her knows that Jinsol heard more than she’s letting on, but not enough to really understand. She hopes it doesn’t ruin anything for them. She’s not in the mood to meddle any more than she already has.
“Have fun love birds!” Heejin yells from the kitchen floor. Both women ignore her as they exit the kitchen and make their way to the back garden.
Jinsol has no idea what she even overheard. She’s trying not to jump to conclusions but her mind is racing with all the fears she had talked to Jungeun about. What if Hyunjin really does leave her? Any temptation to talk to Hyunjin about this has gone out the window.
She knows she loves Hyunjin and that whatever they have right now is strong. They’re good partners, they always have been. Jinsol works well with Hyunjin. And even if this love doesn’t last forever, at least it’s a love she has for right now. However one sided it may be.
“You okay?” Hyunjin asks as they move through the garden.
“Just...preoccupied,” Jinsol says, keeping her gaze away from Hyunjin. If she looks at her she knows she’ll say what’s on her mind. Right now that’s not what she wants. She needs some time to think.
“I’m here if you want to talk about it, but I understand if you need some time to yourself first,” Hyunjin squeezes her hand.
Despite her confusion toward the women, Jinsol’s heart flips. “Thank you, I promise when I’m ready I’ll talk to you about it.”
They don’t talk anymore as they continue their walk through the garden. Hyunjin doesn’t know what happened and she’s hoping it wasn’t anything she had done. She trusts Jinsol to know what she needs though, and she’ll respect that boundary. All she can do is hope that whatever it is, Jinsol will have the conversation with her soon. The thought that she might be upset with her makes Hyunjin’s heart hurt in a way she didn’t think it could.
When they make their way back into the palace, a familiar face is waiting for them in the foyer. Well, more like she’s waiting for Jinsol.
Lady Mina waves at Jinsol from the doorway, beckoning her over. Jinsol doesn’t hesitate. She rushes off toward the other woman without a word to Hyunjin.
“Not even a cheek kiss,” Hyunjin says sullenly to Hyejoo, who had been following at a distance during their walk. Her friend lays a hand on her shoulder and steers her toward her room. “I think she’s upset with me.”
“Give her space, you two always know how to talk to each other about this stuff,” Hyejoo says.
“Not when she’s running around with her little lover,” Hyunjin frowns.
“She’s not—” Hyejoo stops at the glare Hyunjin gives her.
“I’m going to the range. You’d be smart to stand far away from me.” Hyunjin turns on her heels and walks back out of the palace ignoring the laughter that echoes behind her.
Jungeun is trying to find Hyunjin, and after seeing several fleeing gardeners, she has an idea of where she might be. She came back from Valo not too long ago and Heejin told her what happened in the kitchen. Mostly that Jinsol overheard Hyunjin and Heejin talking and misunderstood the situation. Heejin didn't want to meddle, certain that the two would figure it out, but once Jungeun saw Mina and Jinsol on the terrace, she knew this would blow up in everyone’s faces very quickly.
That’s how she ends up rounding the corner to find Hyunjin angrily shooting arrows at the target in front of her. Jungeun had never seen her so angry before. Hyunjin is the epitome of level headed among the royal families. She has always been calm under pressure and to see her like this is unsettling to say the least.
“Maybe you should go talk to her if it’s upsetting you this much,” Hyejoo says from behind Hyunjin.
“She wants time to think, I’m going to respect that,” Hyunjin releases another arrow that sinks into the center of the target. “Doesn’t mean I like seeing her being cozy with Mina though.”
“Hey,” Jungeun says, interrupting them. Hyunjin spins around, aiming the arrow at her head. “Chill out, I don’t think you’d get away with murder.”
“She would,” Hyejoo deadpans. “I’d help.”
“...Great. Well, I just wanna talk to Hyunjin...about Jinsol.”
Hyunjin groans and shoots the arrow at the target hitting the bullseyes once again. “Shouldn’t you be more focused on your own relationship instead of mine?”
Jungeun rolls her eyes, “I’m just trying to help, you and Jinsol are both stubborn.”
Hyunjin turns around to face her, another arrow nocked on the bow, ready to aim. “You’re not starting on the right foot.”
“Look, I know what you and Heejin talked about in the kitchen—Stop aiming that at my head!”
Hyunjin lowers the bow, “Should I aim it at your leg?”
“Stop aiming it at me in general, Hyunjin. I’m trying to help you. I know that you love Jinsol, and I know that it’s not easy to watch Mina hang all over Jinsol. If anyone gets it, I do,” Jungeun says sincerely.
“She’s so flirty,” Hyunjin sighs. Up on the terrace, Jinsol and Mina’s laughter floats down to them. Hyunjin tenses again.
“She is, but Mina is harmless. Jinsol doesn’t feel anything toward her like that, she never did. They shared one kiss when they were teenagers, that’s it. Jinsol would never cheat on you, on anyone.”
“I know that,” Hyunjin says, looking away from the terrace. “I trust her. It’s just coming at a really bad time.”
“What is?”
“Mina being here. I think Jinsol is upset with me and I have no idea why. She wanted space to think about whatever it is, but I just want to make it better. I don’t like this feeling. And now she’s up there acting all buddy-buddy with Mina and—”
“It hurts.”
“Yeah,” Hyunjin lifts her bow and aims it at the target. When she releases the arrow wobbles and buries itself into the dirt. “Do you know why—?”
“I have an idea why she’s upset, but she’ll come talk to you when she’s ready. She always does. If there’s one thing Jinsol is good at it’s keeping her promises.” Jungeun smiles reassuringly and Hyunjin is oddly comforted by it. The pair rarely interact outside of obligations or when Jinsol and Heejin are with them. They never had much in common. Really all Hyunjin knows they share is that they aren’t of royal or noble blood. Other than that, there isn’t much they share and Hyunjin hadn’t cared to find out more. That probably had more to do with the Jinsol’s past with Jungeun, but at this moment she didn’t care about that. Jungeun went out of her way to come talk to her and be there for her, and that means more than anything else.
“You’re gonna be a great Queen,” Hyunjin says. Jungeun handled her being angry, aggressive, and taking it all out on her. She didn’t back down, she stood firm and continued to try to make her point and make Hyunjin feel better.
“Excuse me?” Jungeun steps back, startled by the comment.
“You doubt yourself a lot because you weren’t born a noble, let alone born a royal. I do, too. I know our situations are vastly different; I wasn’t born into this but I was an infant when I was adopted. But I still never thought I really belonged here. I was lucky enough to be too young to know what people were saying about my place as future Queen. You didn’t have that luxury, yet you fought so hard to be here, to earn that title and place. And you did, Jungeun, you earned it. Anything anyone else says about you is bullshit.” Hyunjin nudges Jungeun with the fletching of the arrow. “If you can handle a jealous Princess with a weapon and ability to get away with murder, you’ll take on parliament just fine.”
Jungeun takes a deep breath, trying to calm the swell of emotions she’s feeling. “Do you really mean that?”
Hyunjin nods, “We may not have royal blood, but our place in this world is just as deserved as Heejin’s or Jinsol’s. Thank you for talking me down a bit, I really needed that. And I have your back, too, should you ever need me. But I have a feeling you’re more than capable of holding your own.”
Jungeun smiles gratefully at Hyunjin and nods. She turns and heads back into the palace.
Hyunjin turns and looks back up at the terrace. She catches Jinsol’s gaze, but as quickly as they make eye-contact, Jinsol tears it away. The ache in Hyunjin’s heart returns and she turns back to the target. She pulls back the arrow and releases it rapidly. It embeds itself deep into the target.
Meanwhile, Jinsol and Mina are up on the terrace catching up. Mina had been on her way to her vacation home in Fiore and decided to surprise Jinsol with a quick visit. She didn’t realize what she was walking into though.
“And then you showed up,” Jinsol finishes explaining everything that’s happened the past two days. “I know I need to talk to her and tell her what I heard, but I’m upset about it, you know?”
“About what you think you heard,” Mina sighs, resting her forearms on the railing. They both look down at the archery range which isn’t too far away. “You’re avoiding her over something you don’t even know is the truth.”
“I know what I heard,” Jinsol says.
“No, you heard the tail end of a conversation that could have so many more contexts than that,” Mina shakes her head. “You really think if they were having some kind of affair they would be professing their love in the palace kitchen?”
“Well, I—”
“Why are you so hell bent on ruining this for yourself?” Mina regards her carefully. “Jungeun did this to you, too. She ran away without a chance for you to talk. Do you really want to hurt Hyunjin that way?”
Jinsol deflates and looks wistfully at Hyunjin below. She’s angrily shooting arrow after arrow into the target. “What if she doesn’t love me like I love her?”
“Then that would be really shitty. But maybe you should actually give her a chance to tell you what actually happened before you go all dooms-day on me.”
Jinsol nods slowly. She knows she has to talk to Hyunjin about this. There aren’t any other options. If she doesn’t want to lose her, she needs to face her fears. Whatever the outcome may be, Jinsol knows they will always have each other. They’ve always had each other, from the very beginning. Jinsol knows that won’t change.
Her brows furrow when she sees Jungeun approach Hyunjin who turns around angrily with the arrow poised to shoot.
“She’s kinda hot when she’s pissed,” Mina comments with a smirk.
“Do you want me to throw you over the railing?” Jinsol narrows her eyes, stepping closer to Mina who puts her hands up.
“As if you weren’t thinking it, too.” Her smirk widens, then she imitates Jinsol. “Oh, Hyunjin, you’re so sexy, please love me back.”
“That’s it, you’re going over the railing,” Jinsol yells and jokingly lunges for Mina. They’re laughing loudly, playfully fighting each other off.
When they stop, they realize Jungeun has left Hyunjin alone. Jinsol makes brief eye contact with Hyunjin but looks away, her heart wrenching at the pain clearly written on Hyunjin’s face.
“Just go talk to her,” Mina nudges her.
“I will,” Jinsol smiles. “Thank you for listening.”
Mina hugs her tightly, “I gotta go, my vacation awaits me. Don’t fuck this up more. But...if you do, you have my number.” She grins.
“Really, Mina?”
“What? Gotta shoot my shot.”
Jinsol shakes her head laughing, “You don’t have a shot.”
Mina shrugs, “Bye, Jinsol. Go get your girl.”
After she walks Mina out, Jinsol goes back to her and Hyunjin’s suite to wait for her. She’s not sure what she's going to say, but she knows Mina had been right. She doesn’t know what Heejin and Hyunjin had actually been talking about in the kitchen. There’s no point in freaking out if it had all been a misunderstanding.
Still, Jinsol feels bad for making Hyunjin as upset as she had been. It was evident in the way she reacted to Jungeun and the battered condition of the targets at the range. But if they’re going to be partners, if they’re going to get married and rule together, they need to communicate better.
“Oh, you’re here,” Hyunjin says as she enters the suite. “I can leave if you need more space.” Hyunjin’s hand is on the door, ready to leave again.
“No! No, please stay, we need to talk.”
Hyunjin’s neutral expression falls, concern reflected in her eyes. “Yeah, of course…” She takes a deep breath, trying not to let herself jump to the worst case scenario. She takes a seat on the couch next to Jinsol and turns toward her, crisscrossing her legs on the cushion.
“I lied to you earlier,” Jinsol says when she has Hyunjin’s attention. “I overheard you and Heejin in the kitchen.”
Hyunjin’s stomach drops. Jinsol had overheard her confession for her and had been visibly upset about it. Her chest aches at the realization that Jinsol must not feel the same about her.
“Oh...um, I—”
“I just need to know if what I heard was right. You told Heejin you loved her, is that really—”
The pressure in Hyunjin’s chest dissipates immediately, “What, no! Jinsol, no. I don’t—you only heard the end of it. Heejin and I—” She takes a deep breath trying to gather her thoughts. Jinsol is looking at her expectantly, waiting to know if her world is going to fall apart or come together. “Ah, this is so embarrassing...I asked Heejin for help with you.”
“With me?” Jinsol furrows her brows.
“I didn’t know how to tell you how I feel and she made me practice on her and then you walked in on the end—” Hyunjin stops rambling, “Wait. Is that why you were so upset earlier and ran off to be with Mina?”
“I needed someone to talk to about it and she basically told me I was being stupid,” Jinsol says.
Both women sit back with contemplative sighs.
“Can I ask why you were so quick to believe that I would say that to Heejin?” Hyunjin asks.
“You two have a history of sneaking around with each other and I just jumped to conclusions,” Jinsol smiles sadly. “I do trust you, Hyunjin, so much, but I let my own fears get in my way today. You mean a lot to me and I don’t want to lose you, and there I was overhearing you say that to Heejin instead of—I just had a flashback to when I confessed to Jungeun and she left me for Heejin.”
Hyunjin takes Jinsol’s hand in hers, weaving their fingers together. “I’m not going to leave you, that’s the last thing I want. I told you the night of the blooming flower party, I want to be with you . Fuck the crown and the rules, how I feel about you has nothing to do with any of that. You’re the one I want, Sol.”
Jinsol’s eyes start to tear up, “I should have told you the truth and talked to you first.”
“Yeah, you should’ve, but we’re human, we make mistakes. You were hurt in the past and I understand why you reacted like that. But I promise you, I don’t love anyone else.” Hyunjin cups her cheek delicately, staring at Jinsol with so much love.
Jinsol starts to smile, then her eyes widen, “Wait. You were practicing how to tell me how you feel?”
Hyunjin blushes furiously, pulling her hand away and hiding her face. “I—I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, I didn’t know what to say.”
This time Jinsol reaches out a comforting hand, pulling Hyunjin into her arms. “Do you know what to say now?”
Hyunjin nods slowly, and takes a deep breath. This is the moment, this is what she’s been trying to work up the courage to do, and yet she’s not as terrified as she thought she would be. How can she be scared when Jinsol is looking at her like she put the stars in the sky? How can she be scared when Jinsol is holding her so close, their hearts beating rapidly in time?
“It’s you, Jinsol, it’s always been you,” Hyunjin says so certainly. “Even when I wasn’t looking, when I didn’t think it was possible to find true love, you were right in front of me. You’re the person I love, the person I want to spend my life with. I love you, Sol. Beyond obligation, beyond friendship. I love you .”
The words wash over Jinsol in a calming wave. She spent the day worrying and being upset over a misunderstanding. When all Hyunjin had been trying to do was get help from her friend to find the right words.
Jinsol can’t contain herself, can’t stop the giddy laugh that falls from her lips. Hyunjin had a chance to practice what she was going to say, but for Jinsol, words were failing her right now. All she wanted to do is kiss the woman she loves until she’s dizzy in the head.
She stops herself though and with a bright smile says, “For the record, I am in love with you, Hyunjin. I can’t wait to marry you.”
Hyunjin grins, resting her forehead against Jinsol’s. “You’re going to be my Queen.”
“And you’ll be mine.” Jinsol leans forward and Hyunjin meets her in an electrifying kiss. Their fears melt away as they melt into each other.
Their first kiss was a rush, filled with tentative emotions and undealt with baggage. Their second was a choice, it was certainty. But this one...this one is a promise, an understanding. This one means forever.
The next day, Heejin and Jungeun settle back into their suite in the Statera palace. The trip was long and saying goodbye to their friends had been hard, but this is their next step. They are getting closer and closer to their wedding day and to the coronation. It had been time for them to return home to finish the preparations that needed to be done. They have until the turn of Spring to be married so Heejin can assume the throne with Jungeun by her side.
While Jungeun was unpacking, Heejin rushed to find her aunt. There is one thing left that she needs to do before she can think about any kind of preparations. It’s been on her mind since her conversation with Hyunjin.
Heejin loves Jungeun, more than anything. And if they’re going to get married, she wants to do things the right way.
“Sooyoung!” Heejin yells as she enters the office. Her aunt peers around her computer.
“You don’t have to yell, I’m right here,” Sooyoung says. “Welcome home, by the way.”
“Yeah, yeah, thanks, I need something,” Heejin rushes around the office looking for the spot her mom had kept her safe.
“What? No hug? No how are you, or Somi, or Jiwoo?”
Heejin stands up and sighs, “Hi, how are you, and Somi, and Jiwoo?”
“We’re great, your sister is finally dating Doyeon, seems like it took forever if you ask me—”
“I didn’t—”
“But you know her—”
“Auntie, please, I need to find my mom’s engagement ring,” Heejin pleads.
Sooyoung stops her rant immediately, “Why do you need that? Didn’t you propose to Jungeun already? Oh, no, did you fall in love with someone else?”
“Stop, no! I just—I need the ring please don’t ask questions.”
Sooyoung is tempted to continue her interrogation, but the pleading look on Heejin’s face stops her. She walks around the desk and unlocks a draw before pulling out an old wooden box. “Sunmi left it in the desk for you when you wanted it, but you never asked for it.”
Heejin takes the box carefully in her hands, “Thank you.” Heejin turns to leave, before looking over her shoulder with a smile. “And I’m happy to be home, Aunt Sooyoung. I’ve missed you all.”
“We missed you too, kid,” Sooyoung smiles and turns back to her computer as Heejin rushes out of the office as quickly as she had appeared. Jiwoo comes in not a moment later.
“Heejin runs really fast,” Jiwoo says leaning down to kiss Sooyoung.
“I think she’s going to propose to Jungeun.”
“Didn’t she already do that?” Jiwoo tilts her head curiously.
Sooyoung shrugs, “I have no idea what’s happening anymore, honestly.”
“And when are you going to propose to me, Sooyoungie? I’m not getting any younger,” Jiwoo teases and yelps when Sooyoung pulls her onto her lap.
“You’ll just have to wait and see,” Sooyoung grins and kisses Jiwoo again.
Jungeun didn’t question Heejin when she came back to the suite breathless and red in the face. Heejin just took her by the hand and asked her to go for a walk with her. And how can Jungeun deny the charming smile that Heejin sent her way?
Short answer: she can’t.
It’s how they end up out in the trails as the setting sun is turning the sky a brilliant array of reds and pinks. Jungeun is more than aware that they’re following the familiar path toward the secret spot they’d spend time at all those months ago. The spot that is so near and dear to Heejin because of her dad.
They’ve come such a long way since the day she moved into the palace in Statera. Freshly heartbroken and pining for a woman who she could have had.
So much has changed since then. She never thought she’d get over Jinsol, never thought she would ever fall in love again. Yet, here she is, absolutely head over heels for Heejin.
Heejin pushes aside the branches to the secret spot and it opens up once again to the breathtaking view of the lake. The setting sun is reflecting in the water's surface, casting a warm glow on them.
Heejin watches as Jungeun walks out to the water’s edge and picks up a rock, skipping it along the surface of the water.
“I never thought when I agreed to marry you that my summer would be that wild,” Jungeun laughs, glancing over her shoulder. The sunlight halos her body and Heejin is awestruck. “You okay?”
“I—You’re beautiful, Eun,” Heejin says gently.
Jungeun blushes and turns around to face the water again. Heejin walks up next to her and takes her hand.
“I mean it, you’re beautiful in so many ways. You leave me speechless. I didn’t know it when I met you, but you’ve changed my life.”
“In a good way, I hope,” Jungeun teases with a smile, her blush fading.
“In the best way possible,” Heejin turns to Jungeun, her expression serious.
“You did the same for me, I don’t think I could express it in words very well, but you mean so much to me, Heejin,” Jungeun admits, brushing Heejin’s hair out of her face.
“Do you remember the day at your parent’s house? You told me you didn’t settle, that you chose me. We talked about the stars, how they’re always there even when you can’t see them.”
“I remember,” Jungeun’s lips curl into a small smile. That night was the start of her realizing how she felt about Heejin, how could she possibly forget.
Heejin feels herself getting choked up. “That was the day I started to fall in love with you.”
Jungeun’s heart leaps in her chest. “Heejin?” she whispers laced with confusion and heavy with emotions. Heejin just smiles at her.
“I asked you to marry me over the phone on a whim, hopeful that I could help me and you at the same time. It seemed like a great idea at the time; marrying my best friend. I never would have imagined this is where we would be now, several months later,” Heejin laughs a little. “From the moment we became friends, you have always been there for me, Eun. You’re the person I run to, the person who understands me wholeheartedly. I’ve never believed in myself, never thought I was worthy of the role I knew I’d have to play. But meeting you, opening up to you, and falling in love with you has shown me so much more. You’ve given me so much more strength than I could have ever imagined.”
Heejin brushes a tear off Jungeun’s cheek and then her own.
“You enhance me, Eun. You push me to be better, to want more, to feel more. Everyday you show me how worthy I am of love, of acceptance, and of kindness from others, but most importantly from myself. I've never known how deeply I could love someone until I met you. I hope to give you as much as you have given me,” Heejin pulls the ring box out of her pocket, and kneels on the ground.
Jungeun covers her mouth with her hand, tears falling more rapidly than before.
“I love you, Jungeun, and I would be so happy to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. Will you marry me, like, for real marry me?” Heejin smiles bashfully at Jungeun who nods, pulling Heejin up to her feet.
“I love you, too,” Jungeun cries, throwing her arms around Heejin. “Yes, yes, I’ll marry you.”
Heejin doesn’t get a chance to slide the ring onto Jungeun’s finger before Jungeun is kissing her. It’s short and sweet, filled with a love that they’ve finally affirmed.
“You said we can write our own fairytale,” Heejin says kissing Jungeun one more time. “Let’s start now.”
But Jungeun shakes her head with a loving smile, “We started our fairytale a long time ago. We’re just getting to the happily ever after part.”
To rule doesn’t have to mean putting duty over love. There doesn’t have to be a cost. Love, happiness, duty...they can all exist together. It’s not just about the crown, it’s so much more than that.
THE END...
Notes:
Ahhhh and that's it y'all! What a wild six months it been for me writing this fic. I don't think I've ever poured as much time and effort into anything before and I am incredibly proud of what I've created here. Thank you for reading and enjoying this world I've built.
I will be adding to this with a few epilogues when I have more time, but as of right now it's complete on it's own.
check out the #loonamttc tag on twitter or leave reactions there as well!
follow me on twitter for chaotic ramblings and updates or to see what I may or may not write next who knows @/zags96
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