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When you first arrived in middle earth, right outside Bilbo Baggin’s hobbit hole and right during the dwarven company’s meeting, you had been shocked and surprised at the turn of events in your life. One minute you’d been smelling the flowers you’d just grown in your window box and had just been stung by a bee and the next you’d been on the floor gasping. When you’d black out you’d awoken to the faces of Gandalf and Thorin and Company looking down on you. Who knew you were allergic to bees?
Gandalf had practically dragged you on the quest and while Thorin was hesitant at first, you had proven yourself useful in your knowledge of his future and that of his quest. Thankfully you had taken the time to see the Hobbit movies back on your world. To protect this knowledge, Thorin had assigned Fili and Kili to look after you and Dwalin to teach you fighting basics. While you got along well with the two princes, the gruff dwarf seemed only to begrudgingly stand your presence. At least at first. It seemed he had warmed up to you infinitesimally during the trip as he was always keeping an eye out for you. He’d nearly knocked out Kili when he took one of his pranks too far and had caused you to cry. He was also the first to you after a fight, ensuring you weren’t injured, but always had some piercing criticism about your lack of skill or sense of preservation.
Admittedly your fighting skills were horrendous. You had not been athletic back home and that didn’t seem to change in middle earth. However your knowledge proved useful during the battle of five armies. With enough warning, the dwarven, elven and men war staticians were able to use your information to rout the Orc and Gundabad army. And ensure none of the line of Durin perished. But that had been months ago. Now that it was apparent the elves or Gandalf had no way of returning you back home, the extent of what you lost back home had started to hit you.
Everything was gone. Your family, your friends. Your job. Your apartment that you had scrimped and saved for, filled with little items you had collected during your life that made a home a home. But it was more than that. There were no malls. No movie theaters. None of your favorite books and movies were here. Heck even the types of music were different and you doubted you’d hear anything resembling a pop or rock song ever again.
What ended up doing you in was a cookie of all things. When you’d spied the chocolate chunks in it, you’d nearly squealed in joy at the idea of a chocolate chip cookie. Taking it to your favorite indoor park (surprise it was the only one inside Erebor), you sat amongst the fruit bearing trees and had taken a bite.
But it wasn’t the same. The chocolate was different, not like the nestle chips you’d had growing up, and you realized that you’d never again taste something as simple as a chocolate chip cookie from home ever again. As you munched on it, tears began streaming down your face and soon your body was wracked with sobs, that you desperately tried to hold in lest you’d cause a scene. To the few dwarrow who had approached you offering assistance, you’d only held out your cookie and cried about the chocolate or something or other. Perturbed, they left you alone. And perhaps that was better, no one needed to see you ugly crying over a cookie of all things.
Hearing the sound of heavy footsteps behind you, you braced yourself to try and deflect another well meaning offer of help.
“Who did this to you,” the familiar gruff voice of Dwalin said. However you couldn’t answer him. He’d only look down on you. Shaking your head, you tried to stifle your sobs causing your whole body to shake with the effort. However soon a fur jacket was placed around you and you looked up to see Dwalin standing to your right, staring right at you. Knowing your face must look a mess, you quickly looked away and tried to wipe your tears with your sleeve.
“What did he do,” he grumbled as he dug for something in his pockets.
“What? No -it’s-it’s nothing,” you sniffed, blinking up at him only to see him handing you a spare rag. Taking it, you loudly blew your nose before offering it back, Dwalin only pushing it back into your hands. “Thanks.”
Eyeing you a moment, he sat down beside you causing you to furrow your brows. Why is he staying here? His distraction was enough to quiet your sobs and soon you were only sniffing.
“You don’t have to stay,” you said in a small voice. You were sure he had much better things to do than sit next to a sniveling girl.
“I know,” he sighed, “I don’t mind.” Feeling him place a tentative arm around you, you relaxed under his touch.
However this unexpected kind gesture touched you and you began crying in earnest as he rubbed circles on your back. Placing the half eaten cookie on your knee, you held your face in your hands as he pulled you closer towards him trying to sooth you. You felt him pick up the cookie a moment and thought you heard utter a quiet “oh.” before replacing the cookie back on your knee.
“I’ve heard a woman’s monthlies can be quite trying,” he began - giving you pause - “But if ye’d like I can take you to Oin.”
Then it clicked. And you couldn’t help but laugh, in fact you were doubled over in laughter and every time you quieted down a bit, you saw the look of surprise and confusion he gave you and it started another fit.
“You stupid, ignorant dwarrow,” you laughed, wiping the tears from your eyes, “It’s not that .”
“Bloody hell woman,” he grumbled, “Then who did this t’ye?”
“It’s nothing,” you sniffed, feeling another surge of sadness threaten to spill more tears from your eyes, “Please it’ll seem silly to you.”
“Tell me who did this, and I’ll take care of it for ye,” he urged, turning to you to wipe a stray tear from your cheek, “It cannot be silly t’cause ye such pain.”
“It’s not a who,” you said, shifting nervously in your seat, “It’s more of a what.”
“A what?”
“It’s a what that bothers me,” you murmured, eyes watering, “It’s a lot of whats.”
“Woman ye aren’t makin’ sense,” he sighed, exasperated, “Out with it. The sooner ye tell me, the sooner I’ll take care o’it.”
“It this,” you held out the cookie to him, not able to meet his eye, but you could just tell he had raised an eyebrow at your explanation. “It doesn’t taste the same.”
“I’m gonna need more to go on, lass.” Taking a deep breath you started to tell him. How the chocolate was different from back home, how you’ll never get to taste it ever again. How you’ll miss everything and nothing was the same. Dwalin nodded as he listened to you and not once did he make you think he wasn’t taking your mourning and sadness seriously.
“And what worse,” you sniffed, “There’s no one else in the whole world who will know what those things were like and remember and commiserate with.”
Taking a bite of the cookie, you noticed you felt a little better now that you had told someone. Lighter almost.
“Lass I may not be able t’understand what ye lost, but I’d be honored if ye’d tell me more - when yer ready o’course,” he added, his ears pinking slightly.
“Oh Dwalin, I don’t want to bore you with it,” you said, breaking what was left of the cookie in half and offering him a piece, “But thank you, though. I feel better.”
“Glad t’be of service,” he smiled softly before taking the piece and popping it into his mouth, “Now why don’t I walk ye back home and ye can tell me all about this favorite book o’yers.”