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A really long time ago, I'd considered the possibility that one day I wouldn't be able to push myself like I used to, to perform as I always had. I've always tried to avoid dwelling on things like that- my anxiety has always been looming like a dark cloud over bright, checkered green hills. It doesn't help anyone- myself included. People like to joke that no matter how fast I run, I can never outrun my fears- not knowing that I've been doing just that for years. Taking in Tails is what really solidified my infamous "devil may care pain in the ass" personality. He needed a big brother figure to look after him, and I was more than happy to play the part. I've always had a soft spot for little kids, and even though I rarely even spoke at this point, he still looked at me like I was this great, infallible force of nature.
So I did the "invincible hero" thing for a little over twenty years. Then came the day when I realized that not only were my wounds starting to heal themselves much faster than they should've, but I also didn't look a day over twenty-five when I was actually pushing forty. Stupid stunts that should've earned me fractures and sprains and cool new scars to show off simply resulted in a bruise, if that. Cuts and scrapes and gashes just didn't happen anymore. The icing on the cake? I hadn't slowed down- I'd gotten even faster.
That dreaded day when the Blue Blur couldn't run anymore would never come, thank Chaos, though in hindsight I guess it shouldn't have been so surprising- I've slipped into my super form too many times to count, so naturally some seriously freaky side effects were going to pop up at some point. I remember after Tails figured it out I laughed like a maniac once it hit me, and I turned, grinning wickedly at the one person who would still be around and kicking long after anyone else would-
"Hey Shads- guess who you're gonna be stuck with foreveeeer!"
Funny thing is, I don't really remember how he reacted to the news of my immortality, now that I think about it. I know for certain now that he's glad he has company, though he's never outright said it.
It's just how he is.
It didn't need to be said.
But it wasn't long after that that it really sunk in just, like, how long "eternity" really was- Tails had just turned 28 and hadn't really needed me to play "big brother" in years. Knuckles and Rouge had gotten married, and then divorced, and then married again. Amy had left our dimension to be with Blaze, so at least she found someone that could genuinely give her the love and domesticity that she needed, and Cream left with her too, and to top it all off, Eggman had completely disappeared without a trace, long thought dead. Everyone was already getting older, getting together, finding their own happiness...
All except me.
I was frozen in time, and now I had another... more intense... reason to be hesitant to "settle down" with someone. Worse yet, I wasn't, like, needed anymore. What was I supposed to do now? I began to panic, but I didn't want my friends to worry. Hell, I didn't even tell most of them. I just pretended that I had lucked out in the genetic lottery and that everything was as it had been. No one needed to know.
I still went around helping those who needed it- saving lives and the occasional chao stuck in a tree, but I didn't really wanna run off just to be by myself anymore. I didn't want even the slightest chance to mope, so I surrounded myself with my friends and used every chance I had to be near them, just enjoying their presence while I still had it.
As time went on, I found myself wanting to get to know Shadow a little better- we were in this whole "immortality" thing together, but I didn't expect any big changes to happen as quickly as they did. Our arguments were becoming rarer. We didn't really see the point in seriously fighting each other anymore- we sparred for fun, if at all, and while I still preferred to come and go as I pleased, "with only the wind as my master," as I'd always said, I was finding myself more and more being drawn to the former GUN safe house that he'd settled down in.
I'll admit that I was a bit shocked at first when he seemed pleased to see me the first time I dropped by completely unannounced for a little visit. Of course he didn't smile- I wouldn't get to see a genuine smile on his face until a little later- but his gaze was real soft, and I swear I saw his tail wag a little. I didn't think I'd see the day when he- super serious, Mr. Ultimate Lifeform, and literal assassin and weapon of mass destruction, would openly admit that he enjoyed my company.
I was flattered. I legit thought that he couldn't stand me.
I didn't think that he was hurting too bad for company- Omega was in this with us too, after all. But Omega didn't require food, and when Shadow and I had finished racing for old time's sake he suddenly insisted that I stay for dinner.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
I helped him prepare things and while we did tease and taunt each other like normal, the air was cool and relaxed. Over that dinner was the first time we had ever really, like, sat and actually talked, and we just kept talking long after the dishes had been put away and our shared bottle of wine had been finished. Of course, we actually had like a ton in common.
Figures I'd just then found that out...
He seemed a little surprised by my interest in reading, and something weird stirred in my chest when his eyes lit up after I asked about the massive book collection in his living room. He's never been all that talkative, and I'd always assumed it was because he didn't have much to say, but in reality he was just really careful and restrained with his words. He never said more than what needed to be said, which I now found a little disappointing, if only because I found myself oddly... fixated on his voice. It was quiet, almost shy if I had to put a word to it, but deep and gruff and I loved hearing him slowly start to open up, even if it was just a little. I felt almost cheated that we hadn't just hung out before. He was actually a really cool guy.
We made our way outside to the balcony that night, both of us gazing up at the stars, and I was sad to see that light in his eyes vanish when I asked about his current work with GUN. I knew he hated working with them, but what I hadn't known is that he rarely even got to see Rouge anymore. She was "kicked upstairs," as he put it, when her age started to catch up with her and she was forced into desk work. Granted it was a promotion, and a position of safety at that, but all of his missions now were either with Omega or alone for months at a time. Now I knew why he seemed happy that I came to see him.
"Hey Shadow?" I asked, turning to him.
"Hmm?" he grunted, flicking his ear at me but still looking up at the sky. As late as it was, and as dark as it was, his inky black fur still stood out, and I couldn't help but notice how pretty he looked in the light of the moon.
"We should do this more often," I said, gently elbowing him.
His eyes lit up again as he turned to look at me.
"Why?"
"Well, I really wanna get to know you better," I said gently. "It's gonna be a long eternity if we spend it apart."
He huffed, and then smiled softly- it was tiny, but it was there, and I vowed to myself to make it happen again as often as I possibly could.
"If you insist."