Chapter Text
That summer, Donghyuck gave him is phone number, “So we can talk when I’m the city and plan what we're going to do next summer!”, all smiling and excited. He was leaving the next day and they were having one last sleepover, enjoying the last moments they had together before they had to part ways for another year. Jisung was happy, he would be able to finally have something more from his friends than memories, they could catch up and Jisung didn’t have to wait a year before saying what happened during the winter.
They texted all the time throughout September and October, but then Donghyuck stopped answering his calls or his texts. Jisung was worried, asked his friends if Donghyuck still talked to them. That’s how he learned, in the cafeteria, that Donghyuck wasn’t going to be there next summer.
Jisung was still 12 when Donghyuck made him truly sad for the first time in their friendship.
The first summer without Donghyuck was nearly like every summer, they went to the beach, climbed the same hills as usual, but it felt like there was something missing, each of them could feel it but never said anything. They just went on as if everything was like they usually did. Jisung was 13 and he missed his best friend so much. Even if he didn’t know if he could have the title anymore.
He thought about Donghyuck a lot, looking at the empty house next to his, the window of Donghyuck’s room not showing him the boy dancing around his room if he wasn't screaming at Jisung to come over.
(It had been because of a summer camp, the Lees had decided then to go Elsewhere to see different things).
Jisung spent his first summer without Donghyuck with one big crack in his heart, but it was still a good summer.
He still sent a lonely text, that got read five minutes after he sent it, but Jisung never got an answer.
jisung (10:23 PM)
i hope u had a nice summer, i miss you hyuckie
💫💫💫
The summer Jisung was 13, Donghyuck came back. They never talked about the last summer (or the lack of summer) and focused on this one. Jisung never talked about why they stopped talking outside of their months together. It was a summer full of changes, starting by Donghyuck’s bright red hair, his eyes even more mischievous than usual. That summer the four of them started to go out, Jisung had his first drink and he started to wonder if this is what happened when you grow up. Donghyuck enjoyed it, being a teenager and doing all the things teenagers did. He looked so happy around the fire on the beach, signing to some songs in his really pretty voice of his. His voice made Jisung heart do some intense gymnastic routine he did not know possible until hearing his best friend’s voice.
He didn’t know what to think of it another summer Donghyuck-less, didn’t know what he would do.
(He knew that the probability was too high for Jisung to be comfortable, that Donghyuck could easily never come back and forget in a wink of an eye the small beach town and the boy who lived there.)
The night before he left, Jisung wanted to say a lot of things, he wanted answers before Donghyuck left and have the chance to create even more questions that Jisung did not have the answer for.
They were laying in bed, sleep not having taken them yet. The silence of the room is broken by his friend’s voice, “I promise I’m coming back next summer Sungie.”
It was a big promise, one Jisung wasn’t sure if Donghyuck would keep, “Okay Duckie.”
He looked at the other, his red hair spread on the pillow, his eyes were looking directly into his and his gaze was strong. “I promise”
“I know.”
They fell asleep five minutes after and the next morning Donghyuck left, just like that, he was gone again and Jisung had only one thing to do but wait and see if he would fulfill his promise.
During the year, he talked to Donghyuck once, and it was a simple text telling him that he would be there this summer. He only texted back a smiling emoji.
At school, Jisung tried to not talk about Donghyuck, the other two had noticed with the time as they tried their best to not mentioned him too much, but it was hard since Donghyuck had a big part in all of their lives.
There was one time were one of them really addressed the cause of why he didn’t talk much about him. Of course, it was Chenle. They had their weekly movie night, and that night, as they were watching The Golden Compass, his friends just started talking.
“You know,” he had said, “it’s okay to hurt and you’ll always have us even if we’re never gonna be him.”
He didn’t answer, only went right next to Chenle on the couch and hugged him tightly. There wasn’t much to say, his words needed to be heard by one person only, but that person wasn’t really there nor it seemed wanted to hear anything from Jisung.
💫 💫 💫
Donghyuck did respect his promise, he came back the next summer. This time with light brown hair, but still the same look in his eyes. When they locked eyes for the first time, it’s weird. It could be because of Jisung’s hair that he freshly dyed for the summer bright blue, or his sudden growth spurt.
“Oh, how the turns table.” was the first thing that came out of his mouth and his answer was a smack on his head and a whiny Donghyuck.
“I’m still older than you brat!”
Just then the weird feelings Jisung had been having since the end of last summer disappear to be replaced by happiness. His best friend was back! Another summer of them and whatever he had been feeling before wasn’t going to go destroy it. Jisung wanted a nice summer and not another one where he felt like a piece was missing.
They spent days walking around the cliffs, days at the beach, or a simple day at each other’s homes playing games when it was raining. It was so simple and easy, Jisung loved every single of it if it wasn’t for the butterflies in his stomach every time Donghyuck smiles or talk or breath. It was becoming a problem and he did not want to deal with it during the only moments he had with the other. So he didn’t. Until one night where the two of them and Jeno and Chenle went camping for a day on one of the less-visited beaches around. They had prepared some food and Jeno even brought his guitar so they could play some music, it was going to be a really good time. Even the sky was going to be clear, that’s what Jisung consider a lucky thing!
The evening went by so quickly, they watched the sun unto the sea, only accompanied by the crash of the waves and their laughs. If Donghyuck’s pinky was nearly touching Jisung’s he didn’t notice it (a lie: he did notice).
They started a fire quickly after, gathering around it while Donhyuck tried to start telling scary stories, except that nobody wanted to get a complain about the noises they made (was camping on a beach legal? They didn’t know and didn’t want to know).
Because of course, it had to start, they started to talk about their first everything, starting with their first kiss. It was funny to see both Chenle and Jeno go red has the question came up from Donghyuck (of course he’s the one who started it). Jisung didn’t know why they weren’t together already, has it had been a long time since both of them had liked each other. After they dodged all questions Donghyuck had, he turned to Jisung, who was next to him and the same teasing smile was there. “What about Jisungie, did you have yours yet?”
His face answered him as he felt it heating up, “I just haven’t found the right person yet.”
Cooing, Donghyuck goes to pinch his cheeks, “Jisungie is so picky and cute look at him!”
Used to his best friend’s habit, he ducked to avoid having his cheeks hurt for the days to come. He then had to escape it again has the other tried again, “Hyuck please!”
“Never!”
Jisung proceeded like anyone who has some survival instinct in them, to run away from the danger that was Donghyuck. He ran on the beach until he had only the moonlight and he couldn’t hear noises from the campsite. He stops as he feels his legs starting to weaken, only hearing his breath. He felt the warm presence right next to him before he realized who it was. If he was honest, Donghyuck looked way worse than he thinks he is, but he Jisung’s brain still found ways to gush and find him prettier than anything around him. “Not that bad for someone who despises any activities that require sweating”
“Oh fuck you Park” Donghyuck was panting and had his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. The moonlight lighting his face so Jisung could see his red cheeks, it was unfair how he was beautiful even when he was in an ungraceful state.
“Don’t be mean to me Hyuck I’m only saying the truth and you know it” he sing-song teasingly.
Donghyuck must really be tired because he doesn’t answer, and a comforting silence installs itself between the two. Jisung turns around to face the ocean and see the water now dark as ink crashing into the sand. If only he could be like this all day, letting himself to the ocean and forget about the rest of the world. His reminder of this impossible wish is the warm presence next to him, now not panting and apparently also looking to the ocean.
“Should we get back?” Donghyuck isn’t looking at Jisung, still looking at the waves, his feet now deep in the sand.
“We can stay here for a couple of minutes,” He tries to not notice too much of the small smile his friends have, he doesn’t want to ruin the moment, “kinda scared to go back and see them maybe sucking faces.”
“Are they really together?”
He hums, “They will be soon at this rate.”
“They’re cute together.”
Jisung doesn’t know why he feels this conversation as some second meaning, was the food they ate turned bad? “Yeah they are and I can’t even complain about third-wheeling because I know they’re decent and won’t be that bad.”
The other chuckles and another comfortable silence start, Jisung decide to sit on the sand, looking back at Donghyuck and patting the sand next to him. He quietly sits with him, their body close enough for Jisung’s brain to notice it just a bit too much. Thank god it was dark and nobody could see his blush. “How would you like your first kiss to go Sungie?”
Jisung choked on air and looked at his friend and meeting a sincere Donghyuck, “Why you want to know that.”
“Can’t your best friend just be curious?” he shrugged.
“I mean I never thought about it so I don’t know Hyuck.”
“But if you think of it right now what would it be?”
Jisung turned back to the sea, trying to think seriously, how would I like my first kiss to go?
“I mean,” he was still looking at the sea because he knew that he would not be able to say it with Donghyuck’s eyes directly in his. “I guess I would like it to be with someone I like and trust.”
He hears the other hum and he tries to go on, “maybe somewhere pretty like on the hills near my house, or maybe this beach.” he scrunches his nose, “yeah I think it would be the perfect way.”
Donghyuck stays silent for a short time, “that’s cute Sungie.”
“I know it probably won’t happen like that with all the stories I’ve heard,” he knows he’s rambling but can’t stop, “it’s just that it would be really nice all like-”
“Jisung,” Donghyuck has his hand on his tight and looks at him in the eyes, “ I know and it’s totally fine to have some expectations.”
He doesn’t take his hand away, but he turns away as Jisung did before, looking at the ocean, “Tonight is really pretty.”
“Yeah”
“It’s kind of makes me think of the way you just described”
He looks at him, eyes wide, “huh?”
“I mean if you would have your first kiss on a night like this right where we are,” Donghyuck says it in a way Jisung thinks he has no idea what effect his words as on him, “you would be pretty satisfied.”
“I mean,” he fails to not stutters, “I guess you’re right.”
“What I’m saying is that if you wanted you could kiss me.”
His heart truly stops at that moments and Jisung is sure this is how he dies, with his best friend next to him asking to kiss him.
“I don’t understand what you mean by that.”
“You trust me?”
“Yeah?”
“You think the scenery is cute?”
“I answered that already”
He then looks at Donghyuck, who’s already looking at him. “I’m just saying that it would fit your expectations and it would be a nice story when were old and have nothing to do than to talk about our young days.”
He could say no, he knows Donghyuck would drop it and they would go back to their campsite and their friends, forgetting what just happened. Both of them could forget it, but Jisung strangely didn’t want to, he wanted this to happen.
“Yeah, we could do that.”
It’s Donghyuck’s turn to have his eyes go wide, “you’re sure?”
He sees his friend’s eyes flicker to his lips, “yeah.”
It’s weird, the knowledge of what is going to happen and yet being so scared. He leans after Donghyuck does and his neck is not comfortable, but he still goes for it.
Donghyuck’s lips are a bit chapped and the kiss lasts for about two seconds. They part but Donghyuck goes back and Jisung tries his best to not fuck up. He feels Donghyuck’s hand on his thigh and he tries to put his one hand in Donghyuck hair but fails miserably as he loses his balance and falls on his back, taking Donghyuck with him.
They separate and look at each other before laughing. Jisung doesn’t understand what just happened but it’s like he just ran a marathon and winning first place at a dance competition all at once. “That was not bad.”
Donghyuck whacks him on the shoulder before getting up, “It was your first one shut up!”
“My point still stands!” He gets up as well and looks again at Donghyuck.
“Let’s go back to the other two and see if they noticed we were gone”
They walk back and it’s like nothing happened, which Jisung thanks whoever’s above for. He knows he won’t forget it, but he could pretend nothing changed that much.
When they arrived, the fire was gone and Jeno and Chenle seemed to both be in the tent, looking very much cozy cuddling. Jisung and Donghyuck exchanged looks, smiling at their friends. They got also ready to sleep and if they were closer than they would usually be, they both don’t say anything.
Jisung takes a long time to fall asleep, still remembering the feelings of Donghyuck’s lips on his and how the butterflies in his stomach started the moment he was thinking of it.
He eventually fell asleep, but he dreamt of a boy that shined under the moon and the sound of the ocean all around him.
💫 💫 💫
Jisung noticed a shift the next time Donghyuck comes over at his house for a sleepover. Donghyuck as always been touchy, him all over Jisung is not something new, but now he seems extra touchy in ways that he never was before. It started by him holding his hand while they were watching a movie and then it was snuggling up to him when they decided it was time to finally go to sleep. Donghyuck also started to kiss Jisung whenever it felt like it. It wasn’t on the mouth (Jisung is grateful for that), but they were small peck on the nose, cheek, or neck that still made Jisung lightheaded.
They never talked about it again, they unspokenly decided that they knew they did it, but would just not mention it for a while. It was for the best because Donghyuck had one week left and they weren’t about to ruin it.
They did the usual, always going on adventures as four, a tiny bit less often because Jeno and Chenle finally got their shit together and started dating so they wanted to have some time together. The other two were fine with that as they transformed it into time they could spend only the two of them.
It was as usual, except sometimes Donghyuck would look at him with something in his eyes Jisung didn’t know, and the best answer he could come up with was that maybe he was tired? Or sad that he was going so soon, anyways if it was important Donghyuck would have talked about it with him, right? He was always honest with Jisung so he would have told him what was wrong.
The morning Donghyuck left, it was slightly foggy over the ocean and the wind cold. They said goodbye as his best friend’s parents were packing the final luggage into the car and Jisung’s parents were giving a hand. Their last hug was tight, slightly desperate and Donghyuck had that strange look again.
“See you next summer Sungie.” the tremor in his voice was weak, but still there enough for Jisung to notice it.
“See you Hyuck.”
He was gone five minutes later, the Lee car out of his sight. The empty spot in his chest wasn’t unusual as it was always there every time the other left, but he couldn’t help but feel it was sadder than the last time.
It had been a good, strange summer, but now it was done and Jisung could only wait for the next one.