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Eggsy's eyes snapped open, his breath hitched in his lungs. For too many moments, he couldn't figure out why the bed was shaking, until he realized the shaking was coming from his body. How cruel his subconscious must be to continually bring the same nightmare night after night; the man he loved shoving him off the landmine and out of the way, singing his favorite song off-key, and sacrificing himself for a mission. Eggsy closed his eyes, hoping to erase the lingering images of Merlin getting blown up, all the while trying to stifle the sobs that wanted to break free. He couldn't cry-Eggsy had learned that lesson viciously at the hands of his arsehole stepfather. No one would ever care about his problems. Except. Except maybe...Merlin. Who had miraculously survived the events at Poppyland. Who was working in the next room on an overnight mission handling Lancelot-Roxy-who had thankfully also survived a missile bombing. But as much as Eggsy tried, he could not stop the tears streaming from his eyes. When he heard the soft knock at the door, he froze and his already panicked breathing increased.
"Eggsy? Lad? I heard ye scream. Nightmares again," Merlin quietly asked, opening the door after hearing no response. His heart dropped when he was finally able to see his young love gasping and shivering on the bed. Merlin rushed over to sit on the edge of the bed, aching to take Eggsy in his arms, but knowing he needed to wait until Eggsy initiated the contact. After a few more minutes, where he watched Eggsy try and fail to compose himself, Merlin broke the silence.
"Hey. Look at me. Breathe," he softly crooned, scooting closer to the headboard where Eggsy was curled up. "Shh, it's okay now, I'm here," Merlin continued in his soothing baritone brogue, "No. Don't cry. I hate it when ye cry." He was finally close enough to touch Eggsy and placed his hand palm up. "Hold my hand. Ye're going to be fine." Eggsy hesitantly reached out and brushed his fingers against Merlin's.
"Are ye okay? Do ye need a hug," Merlin asked, leaving the choice of contact to Eggsy.
Eggsy looked up at his love, tears brimming in his moss green eyes. He saw nothing but concern and understanding in Merlin's hazel eyes. Merlin had never once made Eggsy feel like less of a man for having nightmares or for showing his emotions. "Why do ya keep doing this," Eggsy whispered, looking away. At Merlin's confused head tilt, Eggsy continued, "Being nice to me. Holding me. Letting me cry on your shoulder. Lo-lov...loving me," he finally sobbed, hanging his head and wrapping his arms around himself.
Merlin's heart shattered at his lad's words. "Why wouldn't I," he finally whispered back.
"Because nobody cares about me!" All the sound in the room was sucked out by Eggsy's shout of pure, raw pain.
Merlin could wait no longer; he grabbed Eggsy into a fierce hug. Eggsy finally let the rest of the tears come. He felt a hand through his hair and the other rubbing circles into his back. He also realized Merlin was talking. "Don't ye EVER forget I'm always here. I'm going to be here for you through it all. I will always offer you my shoulder to cry on. Do ye understand?!" At Eggsy's answering nod against his shoulder while sniffling, Merlin gave an extra squeeze. "Good. Now. Come here, give me a hug, it's okay."