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“ No tired sigh, no rolling eyes, no irony, ” his vision was dark. Not as per usual for his snake form, yet he shrugged (as much as a snake could), and kept on making his way down SoHo until he saw that familiar door, “ No ‘who cares’, no vacant stares, no time for me. Aziraphale! I want cake!” he hiccuped, held on tighter to the third(?) wine bottle with his tail. He eyed it, squinted, couldn’t see if it was half full or half empty. Well, he could just miracle a new one.
“Aziraphale, cakes,” he repeated to himself, checked the road, and slithered fast to the other side, “Why did the snake cross the road, Aziraphale? To watch you eat cake, of course,” he chuckled, started shaking his head again to the tune in his mind, “ Honey, you’re familiar like my mirror years ago ”
The giant black snake reached the stairs of the shop, the front door,
“Aziraphale! I’ve slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door! ” he paused, “Well, not literally from Eden, but I’ve been following you since Eden, so I guess it’s the same thing, right? Right? ‘Ziraphale, open up! Give me cake, or eat cake, I don’t care. Just let me in. I came as a snake, snakes aren’t in quarantine!” He raised his tail with the bottle and knocked on the door, “Aziraphale, I got wine,” a hiccup, “How does the song go? Awesome, I can’t remember the song written about me. I need to call that guy. It’s something innocence died screaming. Honey, ask me, I should know. And this endless slithering from Eden thing,” he knocked on the door with the bottle again, “Aziraphale!”
The door swung open and the bottle almost hit the ground, when it was saved and placed on the floor by some miracle.
The snake raised its head, grinned, “Aziraphale!” it jumped on the principality who had to take a step back to maintain his balance.
“Crowley! What are you doing here? We’re quarantined! Why are you wearing shades? You’re a snake! Don’t hug so tight dear!” the angel got the glasses away from the snake’s eyes.
“Ah, that was why I couldn’t see,” Crowley snickered, “ You’re familiar like my mirror years ago, ” he wrapped himself around Aziraphale, “‘Ziraphale, I’ve slithered here from something to sit outside your door. I really need to learn this song.”
“You really shouldn’t have come.”
“But I’m a snake, snakes don’t carry the virus, I think two guys took a picture of me. No one minds.”
“I’m sure somebody minds a giant snake slithering all over London,” Aziraphale sighed, he got the bottle of wine, “Might as well let you in and have you checked. I guess you’ll be spending quarantine here.”
“Do tell me you have a bed.”
The angel made a quick movement with his hand, “Now I do.”
“And my plants, angel, I forgot my plants.”
Another shake of hands, “There.”
“Don’t be nice to them.”
Aziraphale carried the giant snake inside, locked the doors behind them, “You’re in no position to give orders right now, dear. You need to lay down and sleep this wine off.”
“Don’t wanna, you’re warm.”
“Okay, you can stay where you are, but don’t hold too tight or I can’t move.”
“‘Right. Hey, angel, do you still have cake?”
“Do you want one?”
“Just a bit.”
“Oh, good,” he caressed the snakes head, “I’d love to hear your comments. Now, what was that song you were singing?”
“More like butchering really?”
“Don’t be silly, Crowley, keep singing, I liked it.”
“Well, huh, it was something like slithering places.”
“Take your time, I’ll get the cake for us.”
