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Louisa sits down at her desk, taking a sip of water before opening her laptop and clicking over to her email to find the Google Meet link. She knows she’s cutting it close when her clock flips to 2:31 and she’s still scrolling through emails, but Professor Irwin has been very lenient about tardiness with their class calls so far, thankfully. They’ve only been doing school from home for a week, but Louisa already wants to pull her hair out.
Honestly, art history with Professor Irwin is the only class that she can fathom still being able to learn in, and that’s because Professor Irwin is amazing and half of the reason she chose art history for her fine arts elective. When she heard that Irwin was doing a smaller section open to non-majors, she jumped at the chance to enroll. Her friend Daisy, who is possibly the best human being in the world and also an art major, told her she’d have a much better time in any class with Irwin than in one of the larger lectures like film or music appreciation. That became apparent within the first class period, because Professor Irwin is not only passionate and funny, but he’s really interested in student wellness and will let you turn in assignments super late as long as you email him about it. As a nursing major, that kind of flexibility has been really helpful.
Louisa finally finds the link to class and clicks on it, fiddling with the chord on her headphones as the webcam loads. After a second, everyone else fills her screen and she smiles and waves.
“Louisa! Hello! How are you?” Professor Irwin asks.
“Alright, how are you?” she asks.
“You know, I’m doing pretty well, all things considered. That’s all twelve of us, so shall we get started?”
Louisa mutes her microphone and nods with the rest of the class, getting out her notes. Professor Irwin’s class is a mixture of lecture and discussion, and while he sends out the powerpoints ahead of time, he still briefly goes through them with each class period with questions scattered throughout. Besides, the powerpoints are much better with his commentary.
They’re just getting into Cubism when a sound comes from Professor Irwin’s computer, making him pause. It’s faint and distorted over the webcam, but it’s definitely someone singing, just an open vowel trill that dissolves into indiscernible words.
“Can you guys hear that?” Professor Irwin asks. Louisa nods, and she sees other class members in the tiny squares on her screen do the same.
“Hey!” Professor Irwin calls to somewhere offscreen. “I’m teaching here!”
“What? ” the offscreen voice shouts. A smile plays around Professor Irwin’s lips.
“I’m so sorry; give me one moment.”
He mutes his screen and stands, disappearing from view for a bit. Louisa wonders who he’s talking to. He wears a wedding ring, and it would make sense for him to be with his spouse during the pandemic even though he’s mentioned in class before that it’s long distance. She thinks he said the spouse lives in LA, while Professor Irwin works in Utah.
The mysterious singing voice sounded male, though.
Of course, it’s entirely possible that Professor Irwin has a husband rather than a wife. Come to think of it, any mention of his spouse in the past might have been gender neutral, and heteronormaty could have made her assume gender incorrectly.
Louisa pulls out her phone to text Daisy.
L: does Irwin have a husband? I assume he went to LA for quarantine and there was a dude singing in his house
Daisy’s response is almost immediate.
D: oh??? Idk i know he went to LA because he taught our painting class from his studio in the garage
Professor Irwin comes back onscreen at that moment, so Louisa hastily flips her phone over on reflex even though he probably can’t even see it from her webcam position, let alone read the texts.
“Sorry about that,” Professor Irwin says once he gets adjusted again. “Some people have no concept of time, even if you tell them over and over when your classes are and that they have to be quiet during them. Anyway, Cubism?”
The rest of the class passes as normal (at least, as normal as it can given the distance learning). Louisa doesn’t hear any other strange singing noises, nor does she see any other hints of the spouse. It quickly slips her mind in the midst of notes, tests, and papers.
-/-
Next Monday, Daisy sends her an interesting series of texts.
D: it’s Definitely a husband he bothered Irwin about dinner and Irwin called him babe
D: Husband is NOT allowed to cook pasta unattended
D: he wasnt seen on video but tbh he sounds kind of like Luke Hemmings like he’s got that type of voice
D: also did you see their zoom interview they did?? Just as chaotic even though they weren’t physically in the same room
D: Michael’s got like half the team staying with him and Cal’s got housemates but who is staying with Luke???? I don’t want him to be sad and lonely :(
L: He definitely has someone with him. They wouldn’t let him be alone. I don’t think he would survive
They talk a bit more about 5 Seconds of Summer, the band that initially started their first conversation as freshmen when Daisy saw her sitting alone in the dining hall with one of their shirts on. Louisa is just happy that they’re still doing promo for the new album from their homes, because watching interviews and talking to Daisy are the only thing getting her through this quarantine.
-/-
Professor Irwin’s class becomes a bit of a reprieve from everything else going on in a similar way that 5sos content does. In the midst of memorizing medical terminology, stressing over at home tests, copying enough notes for her hand to ache, and the general existential dread that comes from living during a pandemic and being confined to her childhood house, the art subjects of their discussions give her something else to focus on without panicking about. Besides, Professor Irwin is pretty funny, and now that she has a muted microphone instead of being there in person it’s nice not to stifle her laugh.
The husband, apparently, shares her sense of humor.
“What?” Professor Irwin asks, looking to the side. “Why are you laughing at me?” There’s a little wheeze offscreen. “Sir, if you can’t contain yourself I’m going to have to ask you to leave the classroom.”
His straight face cracks into a smile when a laugh breaks through from his husband before being quickly muffled.
“The husband wanted to learn about Dadaism” Professor Irwin explains to the camera.
“ Sorry ,” the husband answers. “ Please continue, Professor Irwin .”
The professor makes a face.
“Stop, it’s weird when you call me that.”
“ Professor Irwin ,” the husband says again, dipping his voice low and putting on a funky accent.
“This is a professional setting,” Professor Irwin says. “You gotta go. You’re a menace.”
“ Aw .”
“Get out of here,” Professor Irwin says, but there’s still amusement in his voice.
“I love you!” the husband calls.
“Love you, bye,” Professor Irwin says. His eyes track movement offscreen for a moment longer before he turns back to the webcam. In the chat on the side, someone has written a string of “ awwwww” s.
“Where were we?” Professor Irwin asks. They manage to pick up the discussion again, but Louisa knows she’s not as engaged as she should be. She keeps thinking about the husband. Maybe she only hears it because Daisy already mentioned it, but he really does sound like Luke Hemmings.
-/-
The next morning, Luke posts a simple “good morning” picture on his Instagram story. He’s looking a bit scruffy and the lighting is not the best, but he’s smiling and it’s nice to see that he seems to be having an alright time. There’s a painting on the wall in the background that makes her pause, then screenshot the picture and send it to Daisy.
Last year, Professor Irwin had an exhibit at the gallery on campus. A few teachers in the department do that each year, and usually it’s extra credit in the art classes to go to the opening reception. Daisy wanted to go and dragged her along, despite the fact that she had a project due the next day that she hadn’t started on yet. It was a fantastic decision.
Professor Irwin is a great artist. The school likely wouldn’t have hired him if they didn’t think so in some capacity, but Louisa loves the way he uses color and the bold designs of his paintings. There was one that particularly captured her interest, with broad swashes of yellows, pinks, purples, and blues colliding and harmonizing. The name plate next to it said First Date .
That same painting is hanging on Luke Hemmings’s wall.
D: IS THAT
D: ASDFLKAJSDLKJ
Her phone lights up with a call and Louisa hastens to answer it.
“Did you see the painting?” she asks.
“ Is that Irwin’s? That looks like one of Professor Irwin’s ,” Daisy rushes.
“That’s what I thought!”
“ Oh my gosh! I thought it sounded like Luke! Is Luke actually the husband? Are they married?”
“I don’t know! I mean, maybe? He could be?”
“ Wait wait wait, okay, let’s just think about this for a second .” Daisy takes an audible deep breath. “ We know that Irwin’s husband lives in LA. So does Luke. ”
“He likes to sing, too. He was belting something when he interrupted my class,” Louisa says. “I didn’t think anything of it because it was faint and you couldn’t hear the voice that great, but it sounded like Luke’s. Or maybe I’m just thinking that because of confirmation bias?”
“ No, that’s good to know. He likes singing, Luke likes singing. ”
“Remember how quickly one of the others always jumps in to answer relationship questions in interviews? There was that theory going around about how he could be in a secret relationship, and not to speculate on sexualities but some of the things he’s said…”
Louisa trails off, because this is actually sounding both more plausible and more like a conspiracy theory as she verbalizes.
“He wears a ring on a necklace,” Daisy says. “Fans have been speculating for years what it could be, but maybe it’s a wedding ring! Lou, this could be legit! My favorite professor might be secretly married to a member of my favorite band. ”
“If we’re right then they’re both the luckiest guys on the planet,” Louisa says. Daisy laughs at her from the other end, and something in her chest unclenches at hearing it. She’s happy that Professor Irwin and Luke have someone to love them at home, because being unable to see Daisy for this long is killing her.
-/-
The biggest confirmation so far comes a week later. Professor Irwin is explaining their final project (because apparently time has still passed despite nothing feeling real and the semester ends in a few weeks) when Louisa hears the jingle of a dog collar and a snuffling sound. Professor Irwin looks down at his feet and rolls his chair out a bit.
“What are you doing in here, darlin’ ? ” he asks. Louisa turns her microphone on at record speed.
“Is that a dog?” she asks.
Louisa loves dogs.
“Yeah, she’s my husband’s, and she’s not supposed to be in here,” he says pointedly, as if the dog is going to suddenly get the message and leave. The dog collar jingle and snuffling continues.
“What’s her name?” Louisa asks.
“Petunia.”
Louisa promptly chokes and air. She doesn’t know what her face is doing, but whatever Professor Irwin sees when he glances at his computer makes his eyes widen in panic.
“Lu--Lover, come call your dog!”
It’s not the smoothest cover up she’s ever seen, but at least he picked a word that begins with the same letter.
Professor Irwin mutes his microphone and calls out again, then stands and moves offscreen. When he comes back, she can tell that something’s off. He doesn’t joke as much, as he ends class a few minutes early. As soon as the meeting closes, Louisa picks up her phone and calls Daisy.
“The husband has a dog named Petunia. Daisy, he knows that I know. He saw my expression and got upset.”
“ Should you email him? Tell him that you’re not going to spread this around and out Luke? ” she asks.
“I don’t know,” Louisa says. “I don’t have protocol for this. It’s not like it happens every day.”
“Maybe you should just ignore it and pretend you don’t know. He didn’t ask to speak to you afterwards or anything?”
“No, but I think he was still panicking.”
“I say don’t address it unless he addresses it first. Let’s just keep acting like we don’t know anything but think that he and his husband are cute. ”
“They are really cute,” Louisa says. “Remember the Valentine’s Day flowers that were delivered during class?”
“Wasn’t that Irwin painting in their house called ‘First Date’? Do you think that’s how he felt after their first date? ”
“Stop, that’s really adorable!”
Daisy keeps talking about little things she’s noticed over the years of being Professor Irwin’s student and Luke’s fan and Louisa lets the words wash over her, forgetting about the scared look in Professor Irwin’s eyes and the sinking feeling in her gut for having put it there.
-/-
The next morning, she wakes up to multiple incomprehensible text messages from Daisy, because Daisy runs on about 3 hours of sleep a night and therefore always wakes up before her.
L: what??
D: LUKES POST
Louisa opens Instagram and searches for Luke’s profile, breath catching in her throat at the sight of his most recent post.
The first picture is one of him and Professor Irwin, definitely from a while ago, maybe even before the band. Luke’s all sharp elbows and emo fringe and Professor Irwin’s hair is light brown and curly, not black like it is now. He’s got his hands under Luke’s thighs, holding him up in a piggy back ride. They’re both beaming at the camera.
She swipes right and has to contain a squeal, because this picture is obviously from a wedding. It has to be: they’re both in suits, Professor Irwin’s hands cupping Luke’s jaw and his around his husband’s waist, both of them smiling too much to properly kiss like they’re trying to.
She swipes right again and comes to another picture that could have been taken this morning for all she knows. Luke smiles at the camera, bedhead on display while Professor Irwin sleeps next to him, head curled down to almost nose at his shoulder.
lukehemmings: important to keep loved ones close right now, so let me tell you about this guy. I met Ashton back in Australia and had the privilege of marrying him a few years ago. He’s passionate, creative, funny, supportive, loving, and my best friend. While staying home sucks, at least I get to spend some much-needed time with him <3 Love you Ash, glad to have you with me for all these years
Louisa calls Daisy immediately.
“Dude!”
“I know!”
The call is mostly incomprehensible babbling, and Daisy might cry a bit because she cries really easily and loves Professor Irwin that much . Mainly, Louisa just feels relieved that Professor Irwin doesn’t have to panic about revealing too much during class and that Luke gets to publicly talk about his husband.
-/-
Louisa joins their class meeting a full five minutes before they’re scheduled to start on Monday. She’s the only student there this early, but Professor Irwin smiles brightly.
“Hello, Louisa! How are you?” he asks.
“I’m good!” she says, feeling like she’s vibrating in her seat. “How are you? How’s the husband?”
Professor Irwin laughs.
“I see. I’m already getting brushed aside in favor of him,” he jokes.
“I’d never do that to my favorite teacher,” she replies.
“Hey Luke?” Professor Iriwn calls, and Louisa holds her breath. “Do you want to say hi to one of my students?”
“ Sure, ” Luke replies, and then he’s there: Luke Hemmings, in all his quarantine glory. He’s got a sweatshirt on and his hair is disheveled, but there he is, letting Professor Irwin slip an arm around his waist and waving at the camera. A ring glints from the finger on his left hand.
“This is Louisa,” Professor Irwin says.
“Hi, Louisa,” Luke replies. Louisa thinks she might squeak in response, but she wasn’t actually prepared to meet one of her favorite musicians this afternoon.
“You know, when I first met Louisa at my gallery show last year, she was wearing a 5sos shirt,” Professor Irwin says. Luke looks down at him fondly and Louisa thinks she might combust.
“Oh really?” Luke asks. Professor Irwin nods.
“Her friend is the painter I told you about.”
Daisy is going to freak out once she learns that her favorite teacher has talked about her to Luke Hemmings.
Another student joins the class, and then another, and they spend the first ten minutes talking about music and being in a band and how Professor Irwin designed one of the first posters for the band, back when they were still living in their parent’s houses and no one knew their names. Luke takes every question in stride and Professor Irwin sits next to him, beaming and looking like there’s nowhere else in the world he’d rather be until he kicks Luke out because “ some of us can’t just stream an album on repeat to make money and have to actually do our jobs .”
“Stream CALM by 5 Seconds of Summer so I can buy your teacher something nice for our anniversary!”
“Stop trying to advertise to my students,” Professor Irwin laughs, pushing him away gently. Luke presses a kiss to his head before he leaves. Louisa puts her chin in her hand to hide how widely she’s grinning.
Distance learning may suck, but at least Professor Irwin’s class doesn’t. It helps that every once in a while, Luke makes a sound from off camera and Professor Irwin beams.