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Rey surveyed her tiny built in desk with a critical eye. She had cleared it of trash and recyclables; thankfully the dorm building basement’s vending machine was still accessible - for now. Rey anticipated that at any time, she could get an email informing her that her daily jaunts to get Doritos and Diet Coke were suspended.
She made a note to stock up on more overpriced cans, and then revised her plan when the more sensible side of her brain reminded her of her quickly dwindling bank account and the plummeting worldwide economy.
Maybe she could replace her caffeine addiction with actual sleep. It wasn’t like she was going anywhere these days, anyway.
On her desk, she arranged some writing utensils in a metal cup left by a previous resident. Now that all the pencil’s erasers were facing the same direction, she moved onto the books, stacking them neatly.
It only made sense to be thorough. She simply couldn’t work with imperfect desk feng shui.
Once she couldn’t procrastinate her schoolwork any longer, she opened her laptop and got to painstaking work. She didn’t see many classmates these days, as they were all quarantined, but her senior capstone course was small enough that they usually chatted on Zoom during their remote class time. They joked about how they must all have the most severe case of senioritis ever known, trying to finish up their final semesters during a global pandemic.
However, beneath all their joking and teasing was an undercurrent of fear. The 24 hour news cycle that Rey couldn’t help but follow the full 24 hours painted a terrifying picture of economic despair, shuttering businesses, and a world that may take years to rebuild.
Still, Rey clung to hope that the media was exaggerating and that things would return to normal in a few weeks.
She was working on a set of calculus problems when her phone pinged with a calendar alert, reminding her that she had a Zoom check-in with her capstone TA.
It was still ten minutes away, but she clicked to open the link to their Zoom call so she’d be on whenever Armitage Hux showed up. She switched tabs and opened a campus-wide email she’d just gotten. They got one nearly every day now, as the administrators enacted change after change.
The subject line of this particular email made her heart sink.
The words she read brought a flood of tears to her eyes, so overwhelming and unexpected that she produced loud, inelegant sobs.
“Hey, uh, are you okay?” A deep voice came from her laptop, making her jump.
She had completely forgotten about the Zoom call she had started, hidden away on another tab. Hux must have joined while she was blubbering away.
But it didn’t sound like Hux.
Taking a deep breath, she switched tabs and was happy to see that at least her video hadn’t started.
“Who are you?” she asked, wiping her eyes. She wasn’t about to turn her webcam on until she had collected herself.
“I’m sorry,” said the dark-haired stranger on her screen. “I’m Ben. Hux said he was going to text you. He had an emergency come up. I’m the TA for the other section.”
“Oh okay.” Her voice wobbled, and the strange TA shifted uncomfortably.
“Do you, uh, do you need to do this another time?”
“No, no,” she said hastily. “Let’s get this done.”
“Do you want to...talk about it?”
His tone indicated that he didn’t.
“No!” She jumped up to look at her room’s mirror, only a few steps away. “Just give me a minute.”
She cleaned herself up as well as she could, feeling grateful that she hadn’t been wearing makeup anyway. She took a deep, shuddering breath, sat back down, and hit the video button.
“Oh, you’re there,” said Ben dumbly.
“Um, yep. Here I am.” She dramatically waved to her face. “Sorry about all that.”
“It’s no trouble.” He coughed a little. “Okay, should we begin? I see that your project is-”
“It’s just that,” said Rey, cutting him off. “They cancelled graduation.”
“Oh, yeah. I figured they would.”
“But why?” Rey had never been a whiner, but the injustice of it all had tipped her scale. It figured. It just figured. Luck had never been on her side. “It’s still March. Things could improve before May. They’re throwing in the towel.”
“I’m starting to think we’re in this thing for the long haul,” said Ben matter-of-factly. Rey practically growled with annoyance.
“It sucks so bad that the world has to end because some asshole decided it was a good idea to eat a freaking bat!”
Ben laughed, then schooled his face quickly when he seemed to catch on that Rey wasn’t kidding.
“Look,” he said soothingly, “things are terrible right now, but it’s not like graduation is that great. The day sucks, honestly. Boring speakers, lots of pictures, terrible parking options… Let your parents be disappointed it’s cancelled, and consider yourself lucky.”
“Lucky?”
“Yeah,I mean, you’ll be saved from the worst hair day of your life.”
“Are you kidding me?” cried Rey. “You think this is a joke?”
“Look, my college graduation was only a few years ago, and I barely remember the day. You’re not missing out. I’d skip my PhD graduation next year if I wasn’t sure my parents will make me attend.” He rolled his eyes in that “you know what I mean?” way.
“Oh, what a burden it must be to have proud parents,” said Rey snidely. She hated, hated telling people that she was an orphan, but this random TA was pissing her off. “I don’t have parents at all. I don’t have anyone to be disappointed about my graduation besides me.”
He briefly looked abashed, but then he wrinkled his brow in confusion. “So why do you want to walk?”
“For me!” The tears threatened to rise again, and she tamped them down. “I’ve had the day of my college graduation in my mind since I was twelve. You wanna guess how many foster kids graduate from a four-year college?”
Ben sat silently until Rey lifted her eyebrows to prompt him.
“Oh, you want me to actually guess?”
“Go for it.”
“Uh…” He looked around, confused. “Ten percent?”
“Less than three,” she said. “Maybe you think graduation is stupid, but for me, it’s a huge accomplishment. I have worked myself to the bone to be here. I’ve had no support from anybody. I’ve done it on my own, and I was just looking forward to hearing my name on that stage, and knowing I did it.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, and for the first time in their conversation, she believed him. “But the lack of some stupid ceremony doesn’t take away from what you’ve done.That’s very impressive.”
The sincerity in his voice took her aback, and she fought a small smile. “I swear I wasn’t fishing for compliments.”
“I know you weren’t.” He glanced down. “But I’ve got more for you. Your work is very good. Hux sent it over a bit ago, and I was surprised it had come from an undergrad.”
“Oh,” she said, surprised and flattered. Her hidden smile broke free. “Thank you.”
Ben cleared his throat, and segued the conversation to her capstone project. They stayed mostly on-task, only stopping once to discuss the most recent episode of Galaxy Wars , their mutual fandom having been discovered when Rey spotted a Funko Pop behind Ben’s head. But eventually their time was up. Ben told her that he expected that Hux would be available for her next meeting, wished her luck, and the conversation ended.
Rey stared at the blank Zoom screen, feeling lonelier than she had before.
--
Hey, I just saw the campus email about them shutting down the dorms. Are you okay?
Rey stared, confused, at the text that had come from an unknown number.
Sorry this is Ben.
The TA
From your capstone course
We talked a few days ago.
I asked Hux for your number.
I hope that’s okay.
She needed to reply, but a part of her wanted to see how long he would keep going.
Oh hi
You asked Hux for my number?
She added an emoji with one eyebrow raised.
Um yeah haha
He gave me some shit for it.
But I just wanted to check in and make sure you were okay.
How did you know I live in the dorms?
I could tell from the video call. I lived there once.
Well thanks for checking in. But I’m okay.
Most people moved home, but for those of us who can’t, they’re putting us in graduate student apartments. More hygenic that way.
So hey, for the first time I’ll have a kitchen.
And a bathroom.
I’m glad to hear that.
There was a lull. She didn’t know if she should try to continue the conversation, even though she wanted to. He was only being a decent human being, making sure the poor orphan hadn’t ended up on the streets. He didn’t want to shoot the breeze.
She got back to work packing up some of her clothes, when her phone buzzed.
Did you watch Galaxy Wars last night?
Rey smiled. Before she responded, she added “Ben TA” to her contacts.
--
Did you get it? I got a delivery notification.
A warning would have been nice. I tried to convince the DoorDash guy it wasn’t mine, while he kept backing away like I was the COVID monster.
But thank you Ben :D
You told me Taco Bell is your favorite.
It sure is. But you could have asked me what I liked instead of buying like the whole menu
But at least now i know why you asked for my address, so I can stop worrying you’ll murder me in my sleep
I was worried you’d tell me not to send it.
And I thought that if we were going to watch Galaxy Wars together tonight, it would be nice if we were eating together, too.
You got yourself Taco Bell too??
<Incoming FaceTime call from Ben Solo…>
“See?” he said, showing her a brown paper bag with the familiar logo on the front. “I don’t think I’ve eaten here in years. I guess I can add it to my long list of questionable quarantine eating habits.”
Rey giggled. “From what it sounds like to me, you’ve only started eating like a normal person now.”
“We must have different definitions of ‘normal.’”
“Fine. But admit it, the crap you’re eating now is awesome.”
“Excessive amounts of sodium has its charm,” he said with an air of bestowing her a favor.
“You bet it does!” She ripped open her bag and pulled out a taco supreme. “We gonna do this thing? You’re the one who said he knows how to do the screen share-y thingy.”
“On it,” he said. He sent her a Zoom link, and the two began watching the previous night’s episode.
But Rey’s eyes kept drifting to the little icon on the side with Ben’s face, watching and enjoying his reactions.
And if she wasn’t mistaken, he was doing the same.
--
Ugh, eff my TA life
You are so lucky that you only work with upper classmen
Why are freshmen the worst?
Perks of being a doctoral student, I guess.
In what way are they the worst?
I mean, of course they are, but I’m wondering in WHICH way they are the worst.
There’s many options.
They took their final midterm online last week and I’ve had FIVE students email me that they missed taking it and could I just put it back up?
And another three ask me just today whether they’re even going to get grades this semester
The circumstances are unusual. I wonder how I would have handled it at their age.
It sucks for everyone. Doesn’t give you an excuse to slack off
I agree.
I mean, we’re all in this together, right?
I’ve gotten at least fifty emails that have told me that.
Ahhhhhh if i hear that one more time....
Like, I didn’t know that an online store I bought one thing from five years ago cared so much about my well-being, but it’s reassuring to hear.
I’m dying
I need to start replying to all the kids with generic sympathetic catch phrases that don’t accomplish anything
I can write back, “We’re all in this together, Brody”
And he’s like ok, but, um, my grade??
If Delta can do it, why not us?
Lmao
All right, well I should probably return to inputting these grades that “don’t matter,” in a freshman gen ed course that none of them care about
In a semester that’s going to end up with a massive footnote i think
Sounds like fun.
I’ve got some work to do, too.
Talk later?
Of course!
--
How’s it going?
Ben checked in with her every day, something she appreciated more than she could express. The days in isolation were long and lonely, but hearing from Ben always cheered her up.
Honestly, I’m a little worried today
Yeah, I saw they’ve extended the stay at home order.
Some of the other seniors have had their job offers rescinded
But yours is still safe, right?
For now. I checked with the firm yesterday and they said my start date was still intact.
They’re smart not to lose you.
Thanks Ben :)
Let’s hope they agree
Want to do dinner and a movie tonight?
Yes but you don’t need to buy me dinner
I like eating with you. It’s less lonely.
Yeah but we can do that without you sending me food. You’ve bought me dinner like four times in the last week
I feel so bad about what you’re spending
It’s fine. Plus I’ve got that Trump check burning a hole in my pocket. I’m stimulating the economy, one DoorDash delivery at a time
I wish they only had to deliver to one place
It was the boldest thing she had ever written to him. They ate dinner and watched TV or a movie over Zoom a few times a week, but they always stopped short at calling them “dates.” She bit her lip anxiously.
Me too.
His typing bubble appeared, disappeared, appeared again.
You know, I measured my balcony.
It’s ten feet across.
Her heart started beating faster.
Is that so?
Yes.
So I was thinking that you could come straight back and we could have dinner together, on opposite corners.
As much as she wanted to meet him in person, she was glad they weren’t together right then, so he couldn’t see how wide her smile had grown.
Or maybe she’d want him to see.
He had told her once on a FaceTime call that he liked her smile. He had immediately changed the subject, but it was all she could think about for the rest of the night.
All the time, really.
It was really unfair that she should have to finish a semester when she wanted to lay on her new old bed and gaze at the ceiling, basking in “you have a really pretty smile,” 24 hours a day.
If you wanted.
I don’t want to pressure you.
I do want.
She paused, debating saying what she wanted to say next. Her friends always insisted that if I guy spent time texting you, he liked you. They swore it was a hard and fast rule.
But the rules had to be different in a quarantine, right? Ben lived alone. They often talked about how bored and lonely that sheltering in place was. Surely it was possible that he’d talk this much to anyone?
Great!
He added a smiling emoji. The only emojis he ever sent were the “thumbs up” one when they made plans to chat or watch someone, which amused her to no end. But now he had picked the happiest emoji, the one that shows teeth and has its eyes all crinkled.
It made her brave.
I’ve got to admit something, though.
I’m not sure a balcony dinner is such a good idea.
Okay
It’s fine.
No worries.
No, i really want to
But I’m not sure I could stay on my corner
If you know what i mean
She threw her phone across the bed, like it had acted on its own volition, and not like she had purposely typed those very flirty words. She snatched it right up, though, when it buzzed with a response.
Oh.
Oh? What did “oh” mean? She was miserable for the whole minute before he sent a follow-up.
I know what you mean.
I feel it, too.
There’s a lot to hate about this pandemic, but I think the worst thing is that I can’t just ask you out.
Not that I don’t enjoy our takeout and screen sharing sessions.
But I want to take you on a real date. Where I could see you, and touch you, and hold your hand.
The best part of isolation was that no one was around to witness her dancing around her room like a maniac.
I’d like that too
Would you give me a kiss at the end?
Would I have to wait until the end?
She grinned.
Ooh, naughty boy!
And no you wouldn’t ;)
I can see why the balcony scenario may not work.
Yeah, better not play with fire for the time being
But you still can, you know
Ask me out
Rey, when all this is over, will you go out with me?
Yes :)
--
Happy Graduation Day, Sweetheart
Thanks
But I’m trying not to think about it too much
I understand.
But you should still be really proud.
I’m proud of you.
I wish I could take you to your ceremony today, and cheer from the stands.
If it wasn’t for all this, we might never have even met tho
Not that we’ve actually met
Well you know what i mean
I do.
I guess we owe one to the asshole who ate the bat.
hahahaha
Better not let anyone with dying relatives or dismal economic prospects hear that
Are you excited to start your new job?
Yeah but I’m terrified to begin remotely
They’re being nice and understanding so that helps
And I’m sure lucky that the school is making an exception and letting me live here through the spring
Plus I’ve got a date with a really great guy to look forward to :D
I shouldn’t complain about graduation
But i’m still disappointed
I know.
Hey you should look outside your front door
Stop! You’re too nice
But if you sent more of that health crap on my special day, then I might have to break things off before they can start
Rey set down her phone and opened her front door, expecting some sort of food delivery, something Ben did for her way too much.
What she saw instead made tears spring to her eyes.
She ran inside to text him back.
Bennnnnnn
Omg
*sobbing emoji*
Do you like it?
Are you kidding?
I’ve never gotten ONE bouquet, much less twenty. Flowers are expensive! Ben!
Haha I think there’s ten.
And don’t get too excited. They’re all from Costco.
But I did have to endure at least fifty judgmental stares with them in my cart, like I was hoarding toilet paper or something.
Or infecting everyone to buy something that wasn’t essential.
So you’re welcome.
<3 <3 <3
While standing on her porch admiring all the flowers and mentally calculating how many tumblers and other odds and ends she could use as vases, she noticed a box among her floral menagerie.
Inside the box was a card and a set of graduation robes and hat.
Dear Rey,
Happy Graduation Day! I’m sorry that I ever de-valued this day for you. It’s a big accomplishment, and you deserve to be celebrated. I haven’t told you this, but you beat me with your summa cum laude status. I was a lowly cum laude. That’s okay. I’d be proud to lose to you any day.
I can’t wait to see what you’ll accomplish next. I hope you’ll let me be part of it. I have loved spending these last six weeks getting to know you. You’ve brought me joy through these otherwise terrible times. I’d like to try to make you as happy. Maybe someday in person?
No matter what, you deserve the world and all the luck for the future.
Yours, Ben
PS. Put on the robes and give me a call. Sorry about the 2015 tassel.
Rey laughed and pulled out the extremely long robes. She brought them and all the flowers into her apartment. When she was dressed, she FaceTimed Ben.
He answered immediately.
“What do you think?” she asked before he could say anything. She held out her phone as far as she could so he could see more of her. “I’m practically dusting the floor with these robes.”
“Yeah, sorry.” He chuckled. “Giving you my old robes was the best I could do.”
“They’re swallowing me whole, but I like wearing something of yours,” she admitted. “It makes me feel close to you.” She took a sniff of her sleeve and grimaced. “But I have to say, I hope you don’t smell like a musky old cardboard box.”
He laughed. “Those robes haven’t seen the light of days in years. Maybe I should have sprayed them with my cologne.”
“I wish I knew what your cologne smelled like.”
Ben visibly swallowed, and she quickly added, “So, is it the worst hair day of my life?” She pointed to her head like, “ta da!”
“You look beautiful,” he said sincerely. “You always do. That hat looks way better on you than it did on me. It squashed my hair and made my ears stick out. My mom’s got a big picture of it in her living room. I hate it.”
“I hope I get to see it someday.”
“Weirdly, so do I.”
She smiled at him, and he smiled back.
“So do you want to graduate today?” he asked.
“Well, I think I did. I got that paper in right before midnight last night, and that was the last thing.”
“No, I mean, do you want a ceremony today? I’ve got Provost Skywalker ready to graduate you over Zoom if it’s something you’d like.”
“What?” She gasped. “How?”
He cringed guiltily. “He’s my uncle.”
“Your uncle? Oh my gosh, Ben.”
“Yeah, I prefer that no one know that. But it works to our advantage today. If you want to, that is.”
Grinning, Rey said, “Let’s do it.”
“My uncle said he had some time at noon. Is there anyone else you want on the call?”
Rey shook her head. “Just you.”
Later that day, the most important figure at Yavin University, Provost Luke Skywalker, gave a short speech over Zoom about the future, some weird stuff about forces of nature, and she wasn’t sure what else. She was too distracted by his naughty nephew, rolling his eyes in the bottom corner of her screen while his uncle droned on.
At some point, she gathered that the old man was wrapping up, so she refocused her attention on him.
“You know,” he said, “I wouldn’t do this for just anyone. Ben here was pretty insistent. Your boy is very smitten with you.”
Ben ducked his head, and Rey laughed.
“Well, I really appreciate you taking the time,” she said.
The provost’s blue eyes twinkled through the computer screen. “It’s my pleasure. I look forward to meeting you in person sometime. In fact-” he looked down towards his lap- “I just got a text from my sister asking what you look like.”
He winked, and Ben disappeared from his camera frame.
“Okay, okay,” said Skywalker, chuckling. “Let’s get down to business. You can come back, Benjamin.”
Ben reappeared, looking sheepish.
“All right.” Skywalker cleared his throat. “Congratulations to Yavin University’s newest graduate from the School of Engineering and Technology, summa cum laude, Dean’s List honoree, Rey Niima .”
He gave her a small salute and wink.
The computer started playing “Pomp and Circumstance,” which she figured was Ben’s doing. She giggled and waved back at both of them.
“Okay you too, I’ll leave you two to celebrate.” He gave them a mock stern look. “But not too much fun. Remember we’re sheltering in place.”
They both thanked him before his face vanished from the screen.
“I’m sorry,” said Ben, his video enlarged now that the call was down to two people. “He’s weird.”
“A little.”
“Rey, I know that wasn’t what you had pictured, but I hope…”
“It was perfect.” Rey couldn’t contain her joyful laugh. “Thank you, Ben.”
The shy smile he gave her in return made her heart flutter. She didn’t know how long it’d be, or what it would take, but she knew nothing would stop her from seeing and loving that face in real life.
--
“Ah, a much better fit than last year’s,” said Ben, coming in and seeing her in her new graduation robes.
“Well, yeah, because they weren’t made for a giant,” said Rey. She took in her boyfriend, head to foot. “But you win by far. You look very fancy, like the Hogwarts professor of my dreams.” She slid her hand up the heavy velvet stripes of his PhD graduation robes.
He pulled her in for a kiss, but backed away when her mortarboard poked him in the eye. “Ouch.”
She laughed, then scowled at him. “You told me you’d have a bad hair day. Your hair looks perfect.”
“This tam does much better things for my hair than that crappy undergrad hat.”
“How long did you spend arranging your hair under it?”
“Not too long.”
She grinned and yanked off her hat to stretch on her toes and kiss him properly. “You liar.”
It was a little strange to walk in Yavin University’s graduation ceremony a year after she had graduated and launched her career, but Ben had persuaded her. She wasn’t alone. Plenty of other 2020 grads were doing the same. The best part, though, was that she got to share her graduation day with Ben.
She slammed her hat back on her head. “See?” she said. “Some of us don’t obsess over the state of their hair.”
Ben glanced at his phone. “My parents said they’d wait for us at the west end of the building after the ceremony.” He sighed dramatically. “Gear up for my mom taking a million pictures.”
She took his hand, laughing at his childish whining.
He may mind, but she didn’t. Today she’d cross that stage, and she’d have people cheering for her. She had gotten more than she had dreamed of.