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That week… was rough.
Malark had been laid off from his job and his mother was in the hospital. And he remembered that one Saturday night, where he was lying in bed and staring at the ceiling when he got the call. White light illuminated the dark room, and he was going to let it go to voicemail, but then he saw the caller.
Paddy <3
He dragged himself into a sitting position and answered, “Hello?”
“Hi! I’m sorry for calling but you know that one guy I talked about earlier? From the coffee shop?” This was the happiest Paddy had sounded in weeks. He sounded happier than when he had gotten his cat. “I asked him out! And he said yes.”
Malark’s heart sank. “Oh, really? That’s.. That’s great! Where are you guys going?”
Paddy didn’t notice Malark’s strained voice and went on, “The apple orchard! We’re gonna go there after we both get out of work on Monday, right before sundown.”
Malark had been there when Paddy had gone to that orchard for the first time. He was the one to show it to him. Paddy had been practically bouncing with excitement the entire time. Right before sunset, Malark had led him to a hill overlooking the orchard. Bathed in the fading golden rays and with a sparkle in his forest-green eyes, Malark almost confessed to Paddy right then and there.
But then he had decided against it, to wait for another time. And then a new coffee shop had opened across from the bakery Paddy worked at.
“That’s amazing! Are you gonna lead him to that hill during sunset?” Malark felt like crying. The words he said weren’t his.
“Yeah! I, uh, know you’re dealing with a lot right now so if you don’t want to that’s completely fine, but can you come over tomorrow and help me pick out what I’m going to wear? I have a couple ideas but I want a second opinion.”
“Oh, sure,” Malark choked out.
“Oh, thank you so much!! I’ll make it up to you somehow, if you ever need my help, I’ll be there in a jiffy!” Paddy seemed so happy.
They said their goodbyes and then Malark was left alone in the darkness of his empty room again.
And then the next morning Malark was staring at an array of oranges, yellows, and reds flung across Paddy’s room as the man in question paced back and forth.
“I’m doomed.”
Malark laughed, and said, “You’ll probably look good in anything you decide on. What about this sweater with those pants?”
Malark knew it was an awful decision, as Malark himself wore nothing but black and very, very dark blue. But Paddy stopped and considered it. “Maybe those pants with that jacket and that shirt?” And when Malark had a spark of hope, he said, “No… then I’d need something to balance it out…”
Out of the corner of his eye, Malark saw a simple grey scarf that he gave Paddy in high school. He didn’t know that Paddy still had it.
Paddy followed his line of sight, and then gasped, “That’s perfect! I like your way of thinking!”
“I didn’t know you still had it.”
Paddock walked over to where it was perched, by the window, and picked it up. “Of course I do! Perfect for all occasions, even in the summer!” He then stopped, and then burst out, “Oh of course! I absolutely have to wear it! The date would have gone terribly without it! It’s my good luck charm, of sorts.”
Malark’s heart twisted at the sight of the jubilant brunette, but he laughed anyways.
A couple months later, and he got a call from Paddy. His boyfriend, Oscar, hadn’t shown up to the restaurant that they had made a reservation for weeks ago. Apparently, a couple of friends from Paddy’s job were also there, and Paddy seemed close to crying.
And then Malark made the second worst decision in his life.
“Do you want me to come over there and pretend I’m Oscar?” Malark asked, “To avoid the extra embarrassment, y’know? I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of them before.”
Paddy gave him the okay.
And that was how Mr. Dundragon found himself sitting next to Paddy, pretending he was the man Paddy loved. Every word made his heart sink lower and lower. Once, Malark had to excuse himself because he felt much too close to crying and his chest was wound too tight and his breaths just a little too close together and a bit out of his control.
The lights were a bit too bright as he walked to the bathroom and everything was a bit too loud. He quickened his pace and the second he shut the door to the bathroom, tears spilled out of his eyes and his breathing had no rhyme or reason. Gasping, he clawed at the navy blue tie that was choking him.
He was in there for fifteen minutes. When he came out, his face was blotchy and red and he was so, so tired. As he came back, silence filled the table and everyone stared, but no one questioned it out loud.
“Sorry about that.. I, um,” He tried to fill the void.
“Oh, don’t worry about it! What’s important is that you’re here now!” Paddy tried, and Malark had no idea what he felt. Was he mad at him? Embarrassed? Something else?
The next time the waiter came around, Paddy asked for the bill. Malark felt like shrinking into his seat and went to pull up his hood, only to realize it wasn’t there.
It was an old habit from college and Paddy noticed.
After his coworkers left, they awkwardly stood in the parking lot, and then Paddy asked about it.
“Oh, that, uh, it was just the, ah, it was just that I didn’t expect the restaurant to be so crowded, is all.” Malark found he had been saying ‘um’s’ and ‘ah’s’ a lot recently.
Paddy didn’t buy it, but he didn’t push the topic.
As the years went by, Paddy and Malark drifted apart. Or, more like, Malark pushed Paddy away. He didn’t mean to, but about half the time he saw Paddy, Oscar was there too, and he couldn’t take it. They had been friends since elementary school, and Malark had ruined it.
He hadn’t heard from Paddy in half a year, when he got something in the mail.
You’ve been invited to Paddy Whitlaw’s and Oscar’s…
He stopped reading there.