Chapter Text
Year One
Lan Zhan stumbled on a loose cobblestone and almost lost his grip on the bottle of Emperor’s Smile. The path leading back to the Cloud Recesses was in need of repairs, and Lan Zhan wasn’t strong enough yet to fly. While the wounds on his back had scabbed into rough and dark scars, the damages done to his golden core were not yet healed. Even so, Lan Zhan walked all the way to Caiyi Town and back to the Cloud Recesses to procure a bottle of Emperor’s Smile. He fully intended to smuggle it back to his room, rules be damned. It was Wei Ying’s first death anniversary, and Lan Zhan wanted to get his favorite things to remember him by.
The two junior disciples didn’t say anything to Lan Zhan as he passed them, the liquor bottle tucked neatly inside his sleeve. As he got closer to the Jingshi, Lan Zhan heard an excited squeal coming from the gardens just beyond the gate.
“Father! You’re back!” A-Yuan ran toward him with his arms raised, expecting to be picked up.
Lan Zhan bent over to grab A-Yuan after reminding his son, “Lower your voice while you’re in the Cloud Recesses.”
“Sorry, Father,” A-Yuan said, leaning his head against Lan Zhan’s shoulder. “I missed you,” He whispered.
“I missed you as well,” Lan Zhan replied. He brought both the child and the liquor bottle into the Jingshi. Brushing off the loose leaves that somehow found their way into A-Yuan’s hair as he played in the garden earlier, Lan Zhan set him down.
“Father, where did you go?” A-Yuan asked.
“A-Yuan, do you remember when I told you about your other father?” Lan Zhan lowered himself on his knees to be at eye-level with his son.
“Father Ying!” A-Yuan nodded enthusiastically, “Is he coming to visit?”
“No,” A pause, “He has passed away,” Lan Zhan said softly. “Do you know what that means?” He had tried to explain to A-Yuan before when he first recovered from his fever - no doubt gotten as the result of hiding in a humid cave for days with no food or water, but the small child was quick to forget the things that hurt him.
A-Yuan’s bright face took on a sad look as his eyes welled up with tears, “It means...It means he’s not coming back.”
Lan Zhan pulled A-Yuan in for a hug, patting his head gently, “It also means that we get to keep him in our hearts forever.” A-Yuan snuggled deeper into Lan Zhan’s embrace, and he could feel his son’s tears seeping through the collars of his robes. “Will you help me to remember him?”
A-Yuan brought his head up and nodded weakly.
Lan Zhan showed him the bottle of liquor, “I left earlier to get this. Even though Wei Ying is no longer of this world, we can remember him through the things he loved. This is Wei Ying’s favorite wine.” Lan Zhan booped A-Yuan’s nose with his own and added, “And you’re Wei Ying’s favorite son.”
That made A-Yuan giggled, “Are you Father Ying’s favorite too?” He asked amidst his giggles, not knowing how much that question weighed on Lan Zhan.
“I am his keeper,” Lan Zhan said. “I protect his favorite things.”
A-Yuan looked a bit confused at that, but before he could ask more questions, Lan Zhan stood up to place the bottle of Emperor’s Smile on the empty bookshelf. He didn’t care what others would say. There was no reason to hide what was the unchanging truth - his love for Wei Ying.
Year Two
It was a chilly afternoon. Lan Zhan was busy writing replies to the pile of letters on his desk when A-Yuan tumbled in.
“Father!” A-Yuan cried out.
Lan Zhan immediately dropped the brush and hurried over to his son, “What is wrong?”
“Father!!!” A-Yuan cried louder as he ran right into Lan Zhan’s arms, “The others... they...”
“A-Yuan, take a deep breath, gather your words, and explain to me what is wrong,” Lan Zhan said calmly, hand rubbing soothing circles on his son’s back to ease his cries.
“The others... they... they were saying bad things!” A-Yuan said in between hiccups, “They were saying bad things... about... About Father Ying!!!”
Lan Zhan froze. He should have expected this. Although spreading gossip was forbidden in the Cloud Recesses, it was still impossible to stop the disciples, especially the younger ones, from doing so. Brushing the stray hairs from A-Yuan’s tear-stained face, Lan Zhan asked, “What did you tell them when they said those things about Wei Ying?”
“That lying is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses!” A-Yuan said petulantly, “They were spreading lies about Father Ying and I had to correct them. But no one believed me!” He continued, no less tearful.
Sighing, Lan Zhan pulled A-yuan into a hug, “I am sorry that happened. While it is very difficult to change the opinions of others, it is crucial that we do not let their hearsay dissuade us from our truths.”
“It makes me so sad...” A-Yuan whispered, defeated.
“I know - it makes me sad too,” Lan Zhan admitted
“Why do they hate Father Ying so much?” A-Yuan asked, sniffling.
Lan Zhan froze, entirely at a loss on how to unpack years of resentment, misfortunes, and political machinations that led to Wei Ying’s demise to a five-year-old. At the same time, Lan Zhan did not want to lie to A-Yuan; it would only make it harder when the truth resurfaced.
“Wei Ying was a brilliant cultivator who surpassed everyone in his generation,” Lan Zhan began, “He also was unconventional in his thinking. Do you understand?”
“Un..conv..?” A-Yuan tried to repeat the word, shaking his head.
“Unconventional - it means that Wei Ying often did things that were different from what was considered normal,” Lan Zhan explained.
“And that is bad?” A-Yuan scrunched up his nose in confusion.
“No, it is not,” Lan Zhan shook his head. “Wei Ying followed his beliefs and did what he thought was the right thing to do, despite what others said at the time.”
“Because lying is prohibited!” A-Yuan perked up, understanding dawning on his young face.
“Yes, because lying is prohibited,” Lan Zhan smiled gently, heartwarming that A-Yuan was able to connect the dots so easily. “So no matter what other people say, we will always cherish Wei Ying and all that he was, and is, in our memories.”
A-Yuan nodded as he leaned his head against Lan Zhan’s shoulder, “Can we go play with the rabbits, please? They always make me feel better.”
“That is a lovely idea,” Lan Zhan agreed. Then, with one fell swoop, Lan Zhan scooped a squealing A-Yuan up into his arms. “And I heard that there is a little boy who needs to be buried among the rabbits!”
“Hehe...Father!” A-Yuan giggled and tried to wiggle free to no avail.
Lan Zhan was grateful that A-Yuan was still young enough for these simple distractions to work. He knew it would only get more complicated as A-Yuan grew older, and there would be questions that required a more nuanced approach than this. Nevertheless, as he carried his giggling son towards the Rabbits Hill, Lan Zhan felt a rush of affection and a renewed sense of determination. No matter what, he would make sure that A-Yuan would grow up to be a brilliant man just like Wei Ying. And more importantly, he would make sure that A-Yuan knew how much he was loved and treasured.
Year Three
The Mid-Autumn Festival celebrations were in full swing in Caiyi with stalls selling colorful lanterns and sweets everywhere. A-Yuan, for all that he was trained to master the Lan’s brand of restraint, was still a six-year-old. So when he jumped up and down in excitement as they walked through Caiyi, Lan Zhan just nodded and smiled along indulgently.
“Father! Look!” A-Yuan waved his arm and bodily dragged Lan Zhan toward a stall that boasted a huge display of beautifully painted lanterns. “Bunny!” He pointed at the ones with bunnies painted all over, “Can I have one? Please?!”
Smiling softly, Lan Zhan reached out to touch the brushstrokes that formed a particularly fluffy bunny on the lantern closest to them. “We’ll take this one,” he said to the seller. Next to him, A-Yuan was practically vibrating with excitement.
“Thank you, Father!!!” He squealed and grabbed hold of the lantern with both of his chubby hands. “I want to show Jingyi! Can I show Jingyi when we get back home please?”
Lan Zhan nodded in agreement, and A-Yuan rewarded him with a bright smile in response. It lasted for a brief moment before A-Yuan’s attention was taken by other brightly lit stalls.
“Father! Look!” A-Yuan pointed at another stall selling lanterns, but this time, he pointed at the string of lotus-shaped ones. “Can we get one for Jingyi, please? He doesn’t have anyone to buy him things....” A-Yuan trailed off, frowning.
Jingyi had come to the Cloud Recesses barely a season ago when both of his parents died during a night-hunt. His mother was Lan Zhan’s distant cousin and whom he remembered mostly for the troubles she got in while she was studying at the Cloud Recesses. Lan Jingfei and Wei Ying would have gotten along splendidly in another life.
At first, stricken with grief and fear of an unfamiliar environment, Jingyi had mostly kept to himself outside of the classes and training sessions. A-Yuan, being a sensitive and caring child by nature, had tried to befriend Jingyi when everyone else had left him alone. It took a few rocky weeks of A-Yuan offering Jingyi treats, sitting next to him in classes, and eating meals with him before their friendship took roots. Lan Zhan suspected the final straw was A-Yuan showing Jingyi the Rabbits Hill, which had been off-limits to other disciples.
Honestly, Lan Zhan was glad to see A-Yuan making friends and showing his innate compassion for others. In time, Lan Zhan hoped that would dispel all the negative association the Wen name might have had on A-Yuan.
*
The moment they arrived at the Cloud Recesses, A-Yuan immediately ran off to find Jingyi with the lanterns in his hands. Lan Zhan went back to the Jingshi to meditate. Before long, the voices of the children drifted through, pulling Lan Zhan out of his meditation.
He heard a soft knock amidst the shuffling of feet and whispered voices, “Come in.”
Jingyi pushed the door open and stepped in. Bowing deeply, he said, “Hanguang-jun, thank you for my lantern.”
“You’re welcome, Jingyi,” Lan Zhan nodded. The two boys looked up at him and smiled.
“We’ve finished our training for the day, Father. Would it be ok if we visit the rabbits to show them our lanterns?” A-Yuan asked.
“Mn,” Lan Zhan always found it difficult to say no to his son.
The two boys quickly bowed in goodbye and headed out towards the Rabbits Hill hands in hands, the lanterns swaying along with their movements.