Work Text:
Crowley sauntered to the Bentley after everything went pear-shaped at the bandstand. He slammed the door and took off, speeding wherever the ol’ girl took him. Queen blasted through the speakers, Bohemian Rhapsody on repeat. Crowley screamed along, but the words started feeling wrong – so he made his own:
“Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality.
Open your eyes,
Look down to the flames and see,
I'm just a demon, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
Little high, rather low,
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me.
Angel, I can’t kill ‘im,
I just can’t hurt kids, I fear
Hell knows what I’ve done. Oh, dear,
Angel, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away.
Angel, ooh,
Didn't mean to make you cry,
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.
Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine,
Body's aching all the time.
Goodbye, Aziraphale, I've got to go,
Gotta leave the world behind and face myself.
Angel, ooh
I don't wanna die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been made at all.
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Gabriel, Gabriel, will you do the Ballroom Tango?
Thunderbolt and lightning very, very frightening me.
(Galileo) Galileo.
(Galileo) Galileo,
Galileo Figaro
Magnifico-o-o-o-o.
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me.
He's just a demon, sauntered down vaguely,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity.
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Shit, Angel! No, please don’t let me go. (Don’t let go!)
Fuck, Angel! Please don’t let me go. (Don’t let go!)
My Angel! Please don’t let me go. (Don’t let go!)
Please don’t let me go. (Aziraphale!)
Never let you go (Never, never, never, never let you go)
Oh oh oh oh
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh, ohshitohshitohshitohshit! (Ngk! Aziraphale! Don’t let go.)
Beelzebub has a bathtub put aside for me, for me, for me.
So you think you can break me and force me to cry?
So you think you can love me and leave me to die?
Oh, Angel, can't do this to me, Angel,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.
(Ooooh, ooh yeah, ooh yeah)
Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters
If you’re not with me.”
Crowley shouted the new lines, over and over, until he’d gone hoarse. He pulled over, wrapped his arms around the steering wheel, and sobbed.
“Nothing really matters
If you’re not with me”