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“Loosen your grip; it’s not going to fly away. Stand with your feet further apart.”
“I am.”
“Further. And don’t put all your weight on them like that.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. Hold your arm up higher, turn your wrist out. And for the last bloody time loosen your grip.”
“Go easy on me, this is my first time!”
“I am going easy on you.”
“Ha! Then I’d hate to see you when you’re rough.”
“Oh, I assure you, you wouldn’t hate it at all.”
The sword falls to the floor with a loud ‘clang!’ Ariel lets out a frustrated groan and rounds on her instructor, face red. “You promised you wouldn’t do that!”
Killian just laughs. “Do what, love?”
“You know what,” she splutters, waving her hands in his general direction. “That.”
She knew working with him would only lead to frustration; she just didn’t realise it would lead to her frustration. Ariel had expected him to get fed up with her, unable to pick up the fine art of sword fighting as quickly or as decently as he would have liked, leading only to more arguments. But Ariel was naïve to think something as simple as a promise would keep the filth from his mouth.
Ariel huffs out a breath and runs her hands through her hair. “I’m not getting it.”
From his spot in the doorway, Killian gives her a knowing look. “I did tell you it wasn’t easy.”
“I know you did!” Ariel snaps, before sighing. “Sorry.”
“No need to apologise.” He pushes himself off the wall, scooping the sword up in one quick movement. Ariel watches in awe as he twirls it around in his hand, barely disguising her jealousy. “I suspected you didn’t have it in you,” he says with a grin, catching the sword effortlessly and pointing to blade towards her.
She bristles, all trace of admiration vanishing in an instant. “Didn’t have it in me?”
“You could never handle it, love.” He flicks his wrist, the sword dancing, before moving to take a seat on the bench.
“I could be a pirate,” she says, folding her arms over her chest and fixing Killian with a hard stare.
He just chuckles, amused. “I meant no offence. You just lack the…” His hook waves in the air as he chooses his words carefully. “…the temperament.”
Ariel almost stomps her foot on the ground. Her eyes narrow and she purses her lips when she sees him struggling to contain his mirth. “I could so! Stop laughing, I’m serious!”
He sobers immediately, but she can still make out the amusement in his eyes. People have been underestimating Ariel her whole life, treating her like she’s still a child, like she has no idea how the world works. Ever since coming to Storybrooke, everyone has taken the opportunity to tell her how naïve she is; sure, she might need some more time to adjust to this new world but not everyone needs to treat her like she’s some dumb girl.
Killian never really did, she thinks. Not until now. He treats her normally – well, as normally as Killian Jones can – not coddling her or trying to protect her from the world she doesn’t understand.
After the kiss they shared, however, she could sense him pulling away from her. Ariel was beginning to think she had done something wrong. But then Killian strode up to her that morning at the library, announced he was going to teach her to swordfight, and stole her away to the Jolly Roger.
Now here they are, in the hold of the ship, and Ariel is no closer to learning how to stand properly.
“I’m not some…silly girl. I could be a pirate,” she repeats, meeting his eyes once more. This time, he doesn’t look amused at all. He simply stares at her from across the room, unmoving. Ariel begins to shift uncomfortably under his gaze, but stops herself, proving that she isn’t scared. “I’ve done bad things before. I’ve-I’ve stolen things before.”
Before she can blink, he leaps up with surprising grace, despite the dangerous look in his eye. Ariel has no choice but to stumble back as Killian stomps towards her; she almost trips over her own feet in attempts to get away, but her back hits the wall first. He's in front of her not a second later, so close their chests almost touch. For a short moment, he says nothing as he leers down at her; the only sound in the ship is her laboured breathing.
Her heart beats so fast, so hard she thinks it might burst. What is he doing? What is she doing? Push him, hit him, yell, scream, anything! But Ariel stays still, trying to ignore the shiver that crawls up her spine.
"There's more to being a pirate than you might think, my dear," Killian says in a low voice.
He reaches up, brushing a loose strand of her hair from her cheek with his hook. The cool metal grazes her skin, and Ariel sucks in a gasp. His gaze flicks down to her chest when she does, and the corners of his lips lift in a smirk. Ariel stiffens and holds her breath as he trails the edge of the hook down her neck, to the collar of her shirt. Killian's eyes meet hers once more, and she clenches her fists in her skirt when she feels a hot little twist in the pit of her stomach.
“It’s about defying a king’s rule,” he continues.
Ariel juts her chin in the air, but her voice is shaky. “My father is a king. I’ve defied him.”
Killian chuckles, a low, sinister sound rumbling from his chest. His body is so close to hers that she can feel the vibrations. “And how many hours did you spend wrestling with your guilt when you did?”
Her silence is his answer.
“Do you know what pirates do? What I do?”
Ariel can’t seem to speak anymore, so she shakes her head. His hook is descending even further down her chest, little goose bumps on her skin trailing in its wake. He forces his thigh in between her legs, and she can’t help but gasp at the friction.
“Terrible things, my little mermaid,” Killian whispers. “I’ve sunk ships – after claiming everything aboard, of course – and not spared a thought for any souls that went down with her. I’ve killed men, watching the light leave their eyes as I stand over their bloody corpse. Whether the occasion called for it or not, I’ve killed.”
Ariel listens, and she doesn’t know how to feel. She is a bundle of emotions – full of fear and anxiousness, but a dangerous excitement as well. Killian’s breath is hot against her lips. So close.
“And after,” a twisted grin forms on his lips, “I find myself in need of lovely lass, some entertainment for the night. They’re always willing, burning with need. Sometimes I take them with their husband’s blood still on my shirt.”
Like something has sparked within her, she finally moves, flinching away from him, but Killian is faster. He hooks her hands together, lifting them above her head, trapping them there. Even if she wanted to, Ariel can’t move; she listens, enraptured, studying the way he’s transformed himself. This isn’t Killian anymore. This is Captain Hook.
His free hand wraps around her waist, and she can feel it through her thin shirt.
“I see something in you,” he murmurs. “Very rarely, but it’s there. Stubbornness, more than anything I wager.”
Where is that stubbornness now? Ariel thinks. That fire? She should smack his hands away and run.
“Like when you had the knife to my throat.” His hand moves from her waist, up the side of her body - torturously slow - before resting warmly on her neck, and Ariel’s heart skips.
“But you get no thrill out of it,” Killian says, tightening his hold ever so slightly, and Ariel groans. It doesn’t hurt, not at all, but it makes her feel something. Something she’s never felt before. “Not like I do.”
Eric is always so sweet, so tender. So unlike Killian. She never even considered a man acting like this towards her; her father and her sisters had warned her, of course, about the behaviours of humans, but Ariel thought they were just trying to scare her. After meeting Eric, she assumed they were all lies.
How wrong she was.
“You’d do best to stay away from me, love.” He leans down further – Ariel didn’t think it was possible they could be any closer – and his nose brushes against hers. She wants to push forward even as every instinct tells her not to. His lips are so perilously close to her own and their breath mingles together. “I am no good for you.”
And then he’s gone.
He releases her hands and steps away from her, chest heaving with deep breaths. Ariel is more than sure her face is flushed, and her heart skips and flutters and it almost hurts. She misses the heat from his body, forcing herself to keep down the whimper that was threatening to burst forth.
Struggling to compose herself - really, what is she thinking? – Ariel brings her arms down and places a hand over her racing heart. She keeps her eyes on Killian, watching him, studying him.
She believes every word he said. He’s a dangerous man. He’s a killer. Not the kind of person she thought he was. Belle had warned her about him, all the things he’s done to her and her loved ones…
But Belle had also said she believes there’s good in everyone.
Killian has his back to her, doing everything in his power to keep his eyes off of Ariel. He busies himself with packing away the sword, long forgotten in the midst of their display. She remembers the way he ignored her after their kiss, the way he shut her out, like it meant nothing.
“Why do you keep trying to push me away?” Ariel hazards. Her voice is small, quivery.
He laughs, and it’s a hollow noise with no mirth. “What makes you think you’re close enough to warrant a push?”
“Then what was this all about?” she asks, getting louder, but she doesn’t dare cross over to him yet. “Why are you trying to scare me away?”
He turns, his face completely impassive. “I’m just telling you the truth, love.” He raises an eyebrow and asks, “Still think you have what it takes to be a pirate?”
Ariel scoffs. “That’s not what this was at all and you know it. I know it. We kissed, Killian –”
“A mistake I assure you will not happen again.”
At those words, the air is knocked out of her, and she feels the tears begin to well in her eyes. Her heart sinks.
“Fine,” she snaps, brushing the tears away. He will not see her cry. “If you want me to go so badly, I’ll go. This isn’t-” Ariel was about to say ‘this isn’t worth it,’ but she’s so sure it would have been a lie. She scurries over to the stairs leading to the deck, feeling his eyes boring into her back the whole way.
She knows Killian cares; despite his attitude, she knows. She doesn’t know why, but he’s doing this for her sake. With her foot on the bottom step, Ariel pauses, looking over her shoulder. He hasn’t moved, but he still stares up at her with a blank look on his face.
Ariel swallows, her throat dry. She waits, that naivety flaring up, hoping he’ll call her back. Ask her to stay.
Don’t do this.
He wants to call out her name. He wants her to stay. More than anything, he wants her.
But he can’t have her.
Killian wasn’t lying; every word out of his mouth was the truth. He isn’t a good man, and he isn’t ashamed of it. He knows it, and above all else, he knows he doesn’t deserve Ariel. As much as it pains him, he is sparing her the heartbreak. It’s better this way.
Ariel is good and bright and everything he is not. He sees the hurt clear as day on her face; he sees the pain he has caused her. But that’s not what makes his stomach twist. The disappointment that flashes in her eyes cuts him deeper than any sword ever could.
A man like him isn’t capable or deserving of love. He thought he had a chance with Milah; he thought maybe Emma would warm to him. It was a fool’s hope.
“No,” he hears Ariel say, and he starts.
“No?” Killian repeats, unable to stop himself before he frowns.
“No.” She shakes her head, stepping back off the stairs and stalking over to him. Her face is hard, serious, determined. “You obviously have feelings for me. You care about me. And I care about you, Killian.”
Nearing his limits, he grabs her roughly by the shoulders and shakes. “Why can’t you just leave? This isn’t what you want, Ariel.” His voice is weakening and his resolve is quick to follow.
Again, she smiles, but her eyes are hard as steel. “That’s not your decision to make. You obviously care about me. No,” she snaps when he opens his mouth to argue, “don’t try to deny it.”
“I am not a good man,” he stresses, pleading. “I’ve done-”
“Terrible things, yes, you mentioned.” She grips his coat and shakes him, just as he had done. “But I don’t care.”
He pulls her hands off, stepping away. “You should! You’re too- I don’t deserve your love.”
Ariel is hot on his heels, and with every step she takes, he moves back. “Don’t deserve it? Everyone deserves love and happiness.”
Killian’s heart soars and he wants to hit himself. “How can you stand there – after everything I’ve told you – and still think of your feelings for me?”
“Because that’s what lo-” Ariel stops herself, licking her lips. “That’s what happens. You take the good with the bad.”
Killian laughs bitterly. “What would the little mermaid know of love?”
“I know that I’m still here, even after the awful things you said.” She takes a step closer, and he is rooted to the spot. Move, damn you! He thinks to himself, but he just watches her, transfixed.
“I know that, despite you trying to convince yourself you don’t, you have feelings for me. And I know I’m trying to convince you that it’s okay.”
With a growl, Killian grabs her arm and forces her against the wall once more. His face is level with hers, breath mingling together in heavy pants. “Why can’t you leave me be?” He grits out.
“Why can’t you stop pretending you want me to?”
Killian bites, “You are infuriating!”
And he crashes his lips onto hers.
It’s rough, it’s hard, full of the emotion he has been denying himself. Ariel pushes herself up on her toes, opening her mouth further and falling into his embrace. She clutches at his shoulders as his hand winds through her hair. When she moans into his mouth, Killian almost loses all self-control. He knows she has never been kissed like this before – her precious prince Eric would never. At the thought, Killian deepens the kiss; she would never go back to him now, not after this. And he never wants her to.
Oh, he knows there’s more to her beneath the surface; Ariel is much, much more than the little mermaid. She clings to Killian, writhing in his embrace, full of little gasps and mewls, her nails digging into his back. He doesn't tell her how much he enjoyed her on top of him, pressing the knife to his throat. Of course he tried to deny it, that she was only lowering herself to that out of necessity, but he knows. It's there, waiting for him. Waiting to be drawn out.
Long moments later, they break away, and Ariel is a sight to behold. Her red hair is a mess of waves, her eyes hooded, and her lips swollen from the assault he laid upon her. She smiles up at him, so sweet, and Killian has to kiss her again. He craves her, like an ache in his chest that will never cease unless he has Ariel in his arms.
He can never be the good man she deserves. He tried to push her away but she’ll always come to him.
And he’ll drag her down with him.