Work Text:
Left. Left. Hmmm, he’s cute. Right. Left. Really?! A half-naked mirror selfie?! Ugh, left!
“Jongdae, are you on Tinder again?”
“Hmm.”
“We haven’t seen each other in two weeks and you spend your time swiping instead of talking to me, your best friend?” Baekhyun asked Jongdae while rolling his eyes.
Jongdae and Baekhyun are sitting at their favorite cafe in a quiet part of the city. They haven’t seen each other for two weeks because Baekhyun and his boyfriend, Chanyeol, went to a romantic getaway in Bora Bora for their 5th anniversary. But instead of listening to all the exciting (and spicy) stories from their vacation, Jongdae was browsing Tinder which irked his best friend.
“Daeeeee~ give me attention!” Baekhyun whined while clinging to Jongdae’s arms.
“Baek, you’ve been with Yeol for 5 years now. You don’t need to tell me about all your sexcapades. I swear I can now identify your boyfriend’s dick if you put it in a lineup with how much you’ve talked about it. Yeol’s my friend, too, but there are just some things about him that I prefer not to know!” Jongdae retorted as he tried to pry Baekhyun’s hands on his arms.
“Fine,” Baekhyun huffed. “At least let me see your screen. I want to judge too who you’re judging.”
Jongdae leaned his body a little bit and showed his screen to Baekhyun. Swiping on Tinder has become a hobby of Jongdae. ‘I just want to look at some eye candies,’ he defended when Baekhyun called him out once on his “hobby”.
“Ohh… look at that one! Looks yum -- hey! Why did you swipe left? That was a handsome one!” The profile that Jongdae has just rejected was of a man in a business suit looking like he’s heading a board meeting.
“Meh. Looked too formal and too old for me,” Jongdae said.
“How about this next one? He looks yummy too!”
“Why do you keep on describing them as “yummy”? Is Chanyeol not yummy enough for you? Just wait ‘til I tell him!” Jongdae teased, laughing out loud.
“You know he’s the yummiest for me. He’s especially yummy when --” Baekyun wasn’t able to finish what he was trying to say because Jongdae put a rolled-up tissue on his mouth.
“I said I don’t want to hear about Chanyeol’s dick anymore!” Jongdae protested.
Baekhyun laughed so much that he almost swallowed the tissue that Jongdae put in his mouth.
“Okay! Okay! I will stop talking about my Yeollie’s dick… for today! But seriously, Dae. Look at this one -” Baekhyun pointed at Jongdae’s phone “- he really looks good. Lean body, tall, seems to have great skin, though it doesn’t look as good as mine, obviously. Maaaan, look at that jaw. Look at the shape of his face! He looks so angelic yet so… naughty!”
“I guess his pictures look good. He looks like a model. But Baek, he looks too good. Why would a model be in this app? I think he’s a catfish,” Jongdae said while preparing to swipe left.
“No! Don’t!” Baekhyun grabbed his best friend’s phone before he could reject another candidate. “Jongdae, babe… I love you and all your quirks. But you have been swiping too much for the past three months but you haven’t actually talked to anyone on this app. Catfish or not, maybe you could use this cutie to… you know… practice getting back in the game?”
Why has Jongdae been swiping non-stop for the past 3 months, you ask? Well, it has been 9 years since he was last in a relationship. Jongdae’s not unattractive - far from that, actually. It’s just that he seems to be quite unlucky in the relationship department. He had flings over that 9-year period but all of them seem to have something to say about him: voice too high, cheeks to prominent, waist too tiny, butt too perky. I mean, when did a perky butt EVER become a liability?!
Jongdae was tired of flings. He’s tired of relationships, period. They’re not only heartaches but also headaches. Distractions. He has resolved to just work his ass off, focus on work, and earn lots of money. Money will never give him heartaches and headaches.
But, of course, sometimes he feels that longing for romance. He wants someone to greet him ‘good morning’ every day, someone to hug during tiring days at work, someone who would become a constant in his life.
Tinder gave him the perfect solution to his dilemma. He could swipe all he wants and look for eye candies and still not get that commitment that can potentially hurt him. He just keeps on swiping but never got into chatting. He’s happy to keep it that way.
Baekhyun thinks otherwise.
“Dae, come one. Just swipe right and chat with him. You never know, he might be the prince charming you’re looking for,” Baekhyun said while wiggling his eyebrows.
“Disgusting. That was very cheesy. I can’t believe you just said that.” Jongdae really looked very appalled that Baekhyun just couldn’t help but laugh.
“Come on. Just try it again, Dae. I’ll support you in your attempt to get back in the game,” Baekhyun said so sincerely that Jongdae had to stop and seriously consider what Baekhyun was saying.
“Okay. I’ll do it. If things go up in flame, I’ll blame it all on you.”
“Okay! Yes! Sure! Come on! Swipe right! Swipe! Swipe! Swipe!” Baekhyun looked more excited than Jongdae; he was even bouncing in his seat. Jongdae, on the other hand, still looked unsure.
Swipe right… IT’S A MATCH!
“OH. MY. GOD.” Baekhyun looks like he’s losing his mind. Jongdae was frozen in his seat.
“Sehun sent you a new message.”
Well, here’s goes nothing.
“Hi! :)” Sehun’s message says.
Huh. Maybe this will not be as bad as he thinks. He is actually starting to get excited.
“Dae! You will get a boyfriend soon! I can feel it!”
Well, he’s not there yet. But this could definitely be a start.