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“I can’t believe it’s nearly that time again.”
“I know, it always comes around so quickly.”
“I can’t believe we’re forty now.”
Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron’s words. “You say that every year.”
“Speak for yourselves,” Draco snorted. “We still have a month or two to go,” he added, gesturing to himself and Harry, who grinned.
“Yeah, yeah,” Ron said with a sigh. “What are we doing this year? Twenty-two years, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” Hermione replied, nodding. “Your parents want to do the usual remembrance service at The Burrow in the evening, but we can certainly do something in the afternoon.”
“Isn’t there some kind of service up at the school?” Ron asked. “They normally do something don’t they?”
“Yeah, and we’re always welcome, but do we want to go?” Hermione mused. “Harry?”
“I–I don’t know,” Harry admitted, looking away. “I always feel weird about going back for the remembrance.”
“So do I,” Draco added. “My story is almost as well known as Harry’s and it never goes down well when I turn up with you lot.”
“I know,” Hermione said softly. “But it’s always nice being there. It’s nice to remember all the good times we had there before everything went downhill.”
“Yeah,” Ron said, nodding. “It is nice catching up with everyone and celebrating, I suppose.”
“My memories of that place aren’t as good as yours,” Draco said slowly. “I wish they were. Every time I go back, I wish I’d done things differently.”
“But you can still remember those that we lost,” Hermione whispered. “We do. Every year. Everyone.”
Draco nodded. “I know,” he said. “I’ve been with Harry long enough to realise that. I sometimes feel I’m intruding.”
Harry squeezed Draco’s hand gently. “You never intrude,” he said. “I’m always glad you’re there.”
Draco smiled and lifted their joined hands, kissing Harry’s knuckles gently. “I know. I do like to visit Mother around this time, though. We have our own sort of remembrance. So, if it’s alright with you, I won’t join you at the school.”
“You’ll come to The Burrow, though?” Harry asked, looking at Draco.
“I… don’t know,” Draco admitted. “I know that Mrs Weasley has accepted me as part of you now, but I always feel a bit awkward being there while she’s remembering Fred.”
“She doesn’t mind,” Ron said quietly. “I think she was a bit miffed at first, but not now.”
“I know, I know,” Draco replied. “But sometimes it just feels wrong that I’m there. I’ll come later, if that’s okay?”
“Of course it’s okay,” Harry said. “I know it’s important to you to see your mother.”
Draco smiled and leant over to kiss Harry’s cheek. “Thank you,” he said softly. “You’ll be alright without me?”
“Yeah,” Harry nodded. “I’ll be fine. I’ve got Ron and Hermione. And you’ll be there later.”
“Of course I will. I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Draco replied softly.
“Then it looks like we’re going back to Hogwarts,” Harry said, looking to Ron and Hermione. “I’ll owl McGonagall and let her know we’ll be attending.”
Hermione nodded. “Alright,” she said.
***
May 2nd 2020
Harry, Ron and Hermione found themselves standing at the gates to Hogwarts at midday on the anniversary of the battle. They were wearing smart clothes, covered with travelling cloaks.
Mr Filch opened the gates and Professor Flitwick welcomed them into the grounds.
“Hello, hello,” Flitwick said, shaking Ron’s hand vigorously, before moving on to Harry and, finally, Hermione. “It’s good to see you all again. Especially on a day such as today.”
“We wouldn’t miss this,” Hermione said with a smile. “We’ve been here every year since the battle.”
“I know,” Flitwick replied. “We are always glad to see you. No Mr Malfoy this year?”
Harry shook his head. “No, he’s spending today with his mother,” he said. “I’ll see him tonight.”
Flitwick nodded sagely. “Understandable,” he said. “I am glad that you two boys managed to put your differences aside, you know. He was a good boy and it was a shame that he followed the path that he did at school. I was glad that he found his way.”
Harry gave a small smile. “Me too,” he said, softly.
Hermione glanced at Harry, then at Ron. “Ah, we’d better go, hadn’t we, Professor? The remembrance will be starting any minute.”
“Oh, yes, yes,” Flitwick replied with a squeak. “Forgive me. Follow me, please.”
Hermione gave Harry’s shoulder a gentle squeeze and they all followed Professor Flitwick up to the courtyard where the memorial tribute wall had been built. As in past years, there would be a short remembrance speech by Professor McGonagall, followed by a feast in the Great Hall.
On their way to the courtyard, they were joined by Neville, who was now teaching Herbology and having great success. “How are you all?” he asked, giving Hermione a hug before shaking Ron and Harry’s hands.
“Not too bad,” Ron answered. “I hope Rose and Hugo aren’t giving you any trouble in lessons?”
Neville laughed and shook his head. “Of course not,” he said. “They’re good students.”
“Glad to hear it,” Hermione smiled. “It’s nice to see you again, Neville. We don’t see you often enough.”
“I know,” Neville said, ruefully. “It seems like it’s only ever at the memorial, doesn’t it? Next holiday, I’ll come down and meet you in London, how’s that?”
Hermione smiled. “Perfect.”
“Harry!” a deep, booming voice broke the quiet chatter and Harry turned to see Hagrid making his way towards them.
“Hagrid,” he said, smiling. “How are you? Still coping with this place?”
“O’ course,” Hagrid replied, clapping a hand down on Harry’s shoulders–an action which still resulted in Harry’s knees buckling. “Wasn’ sure if you lot would be comin’. There’s less n’ less of the old crowd comin’ nowadays.”
“We wouldn’t miss it,” Harry said, giving a small smile. “It’s too important.”
“Aye,” Hagrid said, nodding. “I know.”
They fell silent as they entered the courtyard. As predicted, their arrival was followed by a lot of whispering from the younger students. The older year groups had got used to Harry, Ron and Hermione turning up by now and didn’t whisper anymore. The presence of the trio only served as a reminder of how much the memorial meant to people and signified the importance of the second wizarding war.
“Your attention please!” Professor McGonagall called, as silence fell. “Thank you. As you will no doubt be aware, today is the twenty-second anniversary of the ending of the Battle of Hogwarts in which Harry Potter defeated You-Know-Who for the second and final time. We gather here to remember the fallen–former classmates, teachers and parents. This year, our service will be a little different from normal. Today, please welcome Teddy Lupin, who has prepared a short speech.”
Harry glanced at Ron and Hermione, suddenly feeling slightly claustrophobic. Teddy hadn’t mentioned making a speech the last time Harry had heard from him. He watched as Teddy, with bright pink hair, stepped forward.
“Hello everyone,” Teddy began, his voice clear, confident and unwavering. “Not all of you will know who I am. I was less than a month old when the Battle of Hogwarts took place. Both of my parents–Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin–were members of the Order. They fought in the war, but unfortunately, neither of them survived. I have grown up with my grandmother–something which may not have happened, had Voldemort won–but have been lucky enough to have a wonderful godfather in none other than Harry Potter himself. I have always been welcome in Harry’s home, and he and his family have shown me so much love and kindness over the years. Especially so on this day, the anniversary of the day that changed my life forever. I am proud that my parents fought so hard against Voldemort, even though they paid the ultimate sacrifice. I have been attending these memorials since I was a student here. The tributes have always been incredibly moving and I vowed that one day, I would express my gratitude to everyone who has paid their respects. Today is that day. I will forever be grateful to Harry Potter for his sacrifices during the course of the battle. I was too young to really remember my parents, but every day, my grandmother made sure I knew how much they loved me. I’ve heard all about the things they did during the war, and the sacrifices they made to ensure the Order’s mission succeeded. I would like you all to remember their sacrifices today, and to think about them as we take part in the feast. It is what they would have wanted. Please, join us in raising your wands.”
As one, the gathered crowd of students, professors, and alumni all raised their wands, illuminated in remembrance of the victims of the battle that took place where they stood twenty-two years ago.
Harry felt a lump form in his throat–as it always did–as he thought of Lupin, Tonks and Fred first, then of everyone else on their side. He even thought of Crabbe, falling to his death in the Room of Requirement. He blinked away tears. It never got any easier, not even after twenty-two years. Teddy’s words had hit him hard–he knew more than anyone the pain of growing up without parents. He knew that Andromeda was nothing like the Dursley’s, but the guilt he felt that Teddy had to grow up without his parents by his side was immeasurable. He felt his airways constricting as the lump in his throat grew even more. He thought that he was finally going to break down. Then he felt Hermione’s hand slip into his free hand, and Ron’s hand on his shoulder and he couldn’t help but smile at them both. He was fully appreciative of the fact that they’d been there for him all those years ago, and were still there for him now.
After a couple of minutes, Professor McGonagall lowered her wand, prompting everyone else to do the same. Clearing her throat, she looked around. “Please proceed into the Great Hall for the remembrance feast.”
“Coming, Harry?” Hermione asked gently.
“Give me a minute,” Harry replied, shaking his head minutely.
Hermione nodded in response, squeezed his hand once and then let go. She took Ron’s hand and they followed the crowd inside.
Harry drew in a shaky breath and, running his hands through his hair, turned away from the wall until the crowd had dispersed. Then, he approached slowly, running his hands over the hundreds of familiar names, feeling the knot in his stomach grow with each name he recognised. Swallowing, he shook his head slightly and backed away. He couldn’t do it. Not this year. Not after Teddy’s speech. Turning, he walked back towards the gates. He knew where he wanted to go.
***
5pm - May 2nd 2020
“How did it go?” Draco asked as he joined Ron and Hermione in the garden of The Burrow. “Is Harry inside?”
Hermione and Ron exchanged a glance.
“He’s not here, is he?” Draco asked, immediately recognising what the glance meant. “Did he make the feast this year?”
Ron shook his head. “No,” he said. “He didn’t. He took part in the wand tribute, but hung back when we all went up to the school.”
Draco nodded, his mind working quickly. It wasn’t the first time that Harry had done a disappearing act on the anniversary. In fact, he’d done it quite a few times. He was always in the same place, Draco just had to find him. “I’ll go and get him,” he said.
Hermione nodded. “We thought we’d leave it to you,” she said. “He’d rather see you, I think.”
“It’s not that,” Draco started. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind–”
“We know,” Ron said, shaking his head. “But you’re the one he’ll want a hug from right now. Not us. We did our bit at the school.”
“I know,” Draco sighed. “I wish he wouldn’t just go like this. I know it’s hard for him, it’s hard for all of us, but especially him. I just wish he’d let us help him.”
“He’s always been the same,” Hermione sighed. “Likes to deal with things himself, until he’s exhausted, and then he wants a hug. From you.”
Draco sighed and nodded. “I know. I’d better go,” he said. “Or we won’t be back in time for your mum to do her speech.”
Ron nodded. “Alright, mate. See you when you get back.”
Draco gave another nod, before making his way out of the garden. Once he was safely at the Apparition point, he turned on the spot and disappeared.
When he reappeared, he looked around the small village he’d arrived in. He saw, to his right, the Post Office and the pub. He knew that further down the road stood the remains of Harry’s childhood home. He’d only seen it once or twice, when he and Harry had visited on the anniversary of his parents’ death, however, the sight had stuck in his mind. He couldn’t get over the fact that anyone could have caused that much damage trying to kill a baby.
Turning to the left, his gaze passed over the memorial statue of James and Lily and fell on the church. He could see the graveyard beyond and drew in a breath. He knew Harry would be there. He always was. It was just a question of how his state of mind was.
Draco set off, walking purposefully towards the church. He needed to find Harry, to make sure he was okay. Skirting around the edge of the church building, he pushed open the wrought iron gate that led to the graveyard and stepped inside. He made his way through the graveyard, carefully passing each gravestone until he could see a figure in front of one of the gravestones.
He breathed a sigh of relief, though he wasn’t sure why he was relieved as he’d known that he’d find Harry there. He continued through the graveyard until he reached Harry’s side. He didn’t say anything, just waited. He always let Harry speak first when they were in Godric’s Hollow.
“How do you always know?” Harry asked softly, without looking around.
“Because I know you,” Draco replied. “I know that when the remembrance gets a bit much for you, you come here and you talk to your parents.”
Harry gave a soft huff of laughter. “You say that every time.”
“That’s because it’s true. Are you okay?” Draco said.
“Yeah,” Harry replied with a sigh. “Yeah, I am now. Although I could do with a hug.”
“Come here,” Draco said, reaching out to pull Harry into his arms.
Harry gave another sigh as he wrapped his arms around Draco’s middle, resting his head on his shoulder.
Draco wrapped his own arms around Harry and held him tightly, one hand stroking the back of Harry’s neck lightly.
They were silent for a few minutes.
“You give the best hugs, do you know that?” Harry asked quietly.
“It has been said,” Draco replied with a smile. “Feeling a bit better?”
“Yeah,” Harry said, lifting his head to press a kiss to Draco’s cheek. “I am. How’s your mum?”
“She’s fine,” Draco said, nodding slightly. “She didn’t say much, like usual. It’s always a quiet remembrance.”
“I’m glad you can still do it,” Harry said, pulling back a little. “I’m sorry I get overwhelmed.”
“Don’t apologise,” Draco said firmly. “It’s perfectly understandable that you get overwhelmed, and if people don’t understand that, then that’s their problem.”
“Thank you,” Harry said. “For always being here. I know we made a real hash of things in school, but I’m glad we got past that. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’d survive,” Draco said softly. “You’re good at that.”
“It wouldn’t be the same,” Harry said. “You know that. I’m glad we grew up.”
Draco smiled. “Me too,” he said. “And, may I say, you just get better with age?”
Harry couldn’t help but smile too. “Well thank you. You do too, you know.”
Draco kissed Harry’s cheek with a smile. “Are you ready to get back to The Burrow?”
“Yeah,” Harry nodded. “Let’s go. Mrs Weasley will be making her speech any minute.”
Draco chuckled softly. “Come on then,” he said, taking Harry’s hand. “We can’t Apparate here.”
Harry nodded, letting Draco lead him back through the graveyard and into the square where they ducked down an alley and Apparated.
***
“Hi,” Harry said as he and Draco joined Ron and Hermione.
“Harry, there you are,” Hermione said, smiling. “Everything okay?”
Harry nodded. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” he said, squeezing Draco’s hand. “Just a wobble. Another one, I mean. I don’t know what it is about being back there that gets me.”
“Don’t worry about it, Harry,” Ron said, clapping Harry on the back. “We get it. It’s hard going back.”
“It’s understandable,” Hermione added. “Completely. That’s why it’s so important for us to keep talking to each other. We’ve all been through it.”
“I know,” Harry said. “And I’m grateful to have you all. It would be so much worse if you weren’t here.”
“Are we going to have a group hug now?” Draco asked warily.
“Don’t we always?” Ron said, grinning as he held out his arms.
Draco groaned as he was enveloped into the hug with Harry, though secretly the group hugs always pleased him. It was how he’d known he’d been truly accepted, when he was included in his first group hug.
“Oh, your mum’s getting up, Ron,” Harry said, looking over Hermione’s shoulder.
They broke apart and made their way back to join everyone else in the garden. In silence, they listened to Molly as she spoke. They’d heard the speech before, it was always the same, and Harry was oddly grateful for that. It never got any easier, hearing Molly’s grief over Fred, but it always brought them closer together.
After a few more words, Molly raised her glass into the air and they made a toast to Fred and the other victims. Then people began to drift away to their own homes.
Harry and Draco said goodbye to Molly and Arthur, before giving Ron and Hermione a hug and heading home themselves.
Once they were safely snuggled together on the sofa, Draco stroked Harry’s hair lightly. “So, what happened at the school today?”
Harry sighed, closing his eyes briefly. “Teddy made a speech.”
“Oh,” Draco said softly.
“He’s never done that before,” Harry continued. “It just made me think that things could have been so different for him.”
“Don’t,” Draco replied, pressing a light kiss to the top of Harry’s head. “It’s not your fault. Teddy doesn’t blame you, you know that.”
“I know,” Harry said. “But it’s hard. They were there fighting because of me. No-one would have been there that night if it wasn’t for me.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Draco asked, leaning forward slightly to look at Harry. “Those people who fought for the Order did it because it was the right thing to do. They made the choice years before the battle, and I guarantee you, they would make that choice again now.”
“You’re right,” Harry said. “I know you are. It doesn’t make it any easier though. Teddy still had to grow up without his parents. I know how tough that is.”
“Aunt Andromeda makes sure he knows how much his parents loved him,” Draco said, a soothing tone to his voice. “And he’s here enough to know that you love him too. I’m getting there. I know him much better now, and he has told me several times that he doesn’t blame you at all for what happened to his parents. It’s time you stopped blaming yourself and move past it. It’s been twenty-two years.”
Harry smiled and pressed a lingering kiss to Draco’s cheek. “Thank you.”
“What for?”
“For always knowing what to say,” Harry said. “For being the rational one, and for being able to talk me out of whatever funk I’m in.”
“Oh,” Draco replied, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “Well, you’re welcome.”
“Love you,” Harry murmured, snuggling into Draco a bit more.
“Love you too,” Draco replied softly, pressing his lips to the top of Harry’s head as they slowly drifted off to sleep.