Work Text:
Maybe it had been the way he had scoffed when you had said it, or maybe it had been the way that he didn’t flinch to see your face drain of emotion and your eyes filled with tears - but either way, it had broken you.
Being a member of The First Order was no child’s dream, being a Lieutenant within the First Order was certainly not your dream.
But you had worked hard to be where you were at this point, you had spent years enhancing your ability to read other people’s emotions because it made people respect you - it gave you leverage in battle and in conversation. You had studied other people’s faces, your own reactions, you were fantastic at reading people.
Which was probably one of the many reasons why your dignity had left you the moment that you told Armitage Hux that you were in love with him - and he responded back with “Is that supposed to mean someone to me?” and all-but mocked the way you stuttered after this.
As you sat in your quarters, your eyes puffy from crying - you wondered how you had been so wrong when thinking that he felt the same way you did. Maybe he knew that you were good at reading people, maybe he wanted you to think you had a shot with him so you would do whatever he asked of you, maybe it would be easier if you didn’t know.
After tossing and turning in your bed for hours, you decided that you wanted a drink. You were off-duty, and there was a bar on a planet that you could travel to quickly without raising any eyebrows, you knew people within the First Order who went there all the time to unwind.
Perhaps it had been due to your lack of care, anymore, but you didn’t care to spruce up or cover the puffiness of your eyes as you left your quarters, quickly making your way to take out a pod.
“I’m going to checkpoint 19, if anyone asks for me tell them they’ll know where to find me.” You said, emotionless, to the stormtrooper who checked in your name and destination before allowing you to check out a pod.
The trip to the planet was short, but it gave you enough time to wonder if you were being foolish. Maybe you should just return to the ship, afterall, you couldn’t let some man ruin your entire line of work for you.
But, you had reasoned, that it was just one drink, and it could help you forget everything that you had been through earlier in the day.
As you parked the ship and walked into the bar, you noticed the eyes of a few patrons closer to you taking in the puff of your eyes, some of which even being people you knew, but you didn’t much care.
Sitting down at the bar, you watched the bartender droid scan your face - one fun perk of this planet is that the droid can almost always figure out what you want to drink. You transferred a credit over, before sipping from the reddish brown liquid in the large glass in front of you.
It wasn’t long before you felt a tap on your shoulder, your hand automatically moving to the blaster on your hip before turning around - it was just a man.
“Tough day?” He asked, sitting beside you at the bar, a small smile covering his face. He had dark brown hair, greenish-blue eyes and somewhat tanned skin - he also seemed to smell like mint.
“Yeah, you could say that.” You snorted out, taking another sip from your drink and letting your blaster drop into the holster - ‘he’ll be a fine distraction’ you thought to yourself, moving your hand over to shake the man’s hand. “Y/N Y/L/N,” You greeted.
“You can call me Chris,” He said, shaking your hand before dropping it. You noticed the red light of the droid scanning over the man’s face, before giving him what seemed to be the lightest drink they served. “You work for the First Order, don’t you?” He asked.
You were surprised he knew that, but recalled many people in this bar worked for the First Order. “I do, but I’ve never seen you around before.” You commented.
“Nah, probably not, I’m a Radar Technician.” He explained, and you nodded in understanding. You hadn’t spoken to any Rader Technicians in years, they were below your paygrade.
“Ah, I hope you don’t think I’m snobbish.” You teased, bringing your glass back up to your lips and taking another sip of it.
“Oh course not! I-” You had been too focussed on downing the rest of your beverage that you noticed Chris has been cut off before you looked up and noticed why.
“I was trying to meet my friend here, if you don’t mind.” The cold voice of none other than General Hux said from behind the man, watching you motion for the droid to refill your drink and transferring more credits over.
“Of course, General.” The man said, rather shyly, before scurrying off in the other direction, Hux taking the seat that he had just been sitting in. “Lieutenant-”
“Do you have a mission for me, General?”
“No, I-”
“Then you’re wasting your time,” You commented, taking another sip from your drink before meeting his eyes. “We’re not friends, if you don’t have a mission for me it’s best that we don’t speak.” There was an ‘asshole’ at the tip of your tongue, but you held it in.
Hux audibly sighed, waving away the bartender droid when it came by to scan him for his drink. “I just need you to listen to me,” He started, noting that you didn’t reply this time so he continued. “I want to apologize for how I acted earlier.” He said.
Your face almost softened at the sincerity in his voice- almost. You let out a scoff, taking another sip of your drink. “Is that supposed to mean something to me?” You responded back bitterly.
Hux flinched realizing you had mimicked what he told you earlier, before collecting himself. “I didn’t mean what I said I was just…” He trailed off, not knowing what to say.
“Did Ren send you to apologize? Tell him I’ll forgive you if I get a promotion for it.” You responded back, deciding that you no longer wanted to look at Hux and turning back to your drink. “Can you leave, please?” The sentence itself was much weaker than you intended, your voice cracking in the middle of it as more tears threatened to spill out.
“Ren doesn’t know I’m here, I haven’t seen him today I- I’m just not good at this.” He said, his voice far softer than you had ever heard it before.
You downed your drink and left a credit at the bar, standing up. You were instantly dizzy as you did, nearly falling over but catching yourself. “Fine, don’t leave- I will.” You said, quickly making your way out of the bar - your head spinning as you felt more hot tears sting your cheeks.
Having only made it a few steps, when you felt a hand on your shoulder you refused to turn around, not wanting him to see you cry.
“Please listen to me- I turned you away because I was afraid, I didn’t mean what I said.” Hux said quickly, not wanting you to leave without telling you what actually happened.
You stopped moving to get away from him, your heart almost stopping for a moment as you let out a weak ‘what?’, which urged him to continue.
“I didn’t think I could be right for you because I didn’t want to get you hurt… clearly that’s already happened.” He said, stopping for a moment, you presumed to think, before continuing. “I’ve never really… been in that kind of relationship, I didn’t think I would be good at it… I didn’t want to end up like my father.” He responded, his voice impossibly weak at the end.
Finally turning around, Hux’s face softened when he saw the tears still wet on your cheeks, finally having a moment to see how puffy your eyes were. “Why did you have to be so hurtful?” You questioned, your eyes moving up to meet his.
“I thought-” He stopped himself, removing his gloves so he could wipe away the tears on your cheeks - he tried not to notice the way you leaned into his touch. “I thought I was protecting you- I’m not very good at talking about my feelings, I thought you deserved better than me.”
“So what are you saying?” You questioned, not wanting to read into things again - considering what had happened the last time.
“I’m saying that I love you too,” He responded back, noting the soft smile that covered your lips as you looked at the ginger-haired man before you. “And that, even if I’m not good at it, I am willing to try to be… something.” He said, somewhat awkwardly.
You allowed your hand to entangle with Armitage’s, being extremely cautious but you couldn’t deny the way your stomach fluttered at his words. “I might need a little more proof,” You teased.
“That can be arranged.” He responded back, letting his free hand move to rest on top of your cheek. “Can I kiss you?” He asked softly, watching you lightly nod before pressing his lips against yours.
The kiss was somewhat short, but you knew you would do anything in your power to memorize the way Armitage’s lips softly caressed your own before pulling apart.
“I don’t think I’m fit to drive myself back.” You said, nearly ruining the moment, but you were rather inebriated
“I can drive us back,” He commented, a small laugh coming out of his mouth before you both returned to the pod he had taken.
The Stormtrooper was rather irritated upon finding out that you had left a pod somewhere, and even more irritated knowing that they were going to need to go back and get it - but understanding from the way you were swaying that you were intoxicated.
Armitage returned you to your quarters, helping you take off the heavier part of your uniform, leaving you in a simple tank top and your trousers - he didn’t want to invade your privacy.
But before he could leave your hand caught his, Hux sending you a questioning look before you smiled softly. “Stay with me?” You questioned, noticing the way his cheeks dusted pink.
“You’re drunk, Y/N.” He commented, noticing the way that you laughed at that and feeling a small fluttering in his own chest.
“I know that, silly. I’m not asking you to do anything- I just want you to stay.” You explained, noting the relief on his face before he nodded and pressed the small lock button on the keypad by your door.
You turned the lights off, removing your trousers and putting sleep shorts on before getting into bed - not realizing how awkward it was at first, both of you laying stiffly in bed.
Maybe it was the liquid running through your brain, but you were confident enough to curl up into Armitage, feeling him wrap an arm around you rather quickly before pressing a light kiss to your head.
“I probably won’t be here when you wake up, I have to give my cat breakfast.” He explained, almost nervously - but you understood that he didn’t want to make you feel like he left you.
“Okay, but don’t think I’m going to forget about that - you will introduce me to your cat.” You responded back playfully - taking in the feeling of him laughing.
“Deal, now sleep - can’t have you too groggy at work tomorrow.” He said, which was enough for you to quickly fall asleep at the mention of work.