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Iwaizumi’s eyes were burning, trying to control his tears from running through his face. He was walking home with Oikawa, after their last day of high school. The sun was beginning to set, giving the sky orange and pink tones. It was beautiful, Hajime thought, but he couldn’t appreciate it for too long, haunted by his feelings.
After their last match against Karasuno, they hadn’t mentioned that they wouldn’t play together again. Oikawa had crystal clear that he wanted to go to other country leagues and play professionally, which unfortunately meant leaving Iwaizumi. But still, they didn’t talk about it since the day Oikawa told him.
Hajime thought he had come to terms with it, but each time he thought about not seeing his childhood friend, not being able to spike his tosses, he would feel pressure on his chest, and his heart physically hurt.
“What’s wrong, Iwa-chan?”
Iwaizumi hadn’t noticed that he had been quiet for most of their walk, and that they were finally in Oikawa’s house.
“Nothing, see you tomo-“ Iwaizumi fell silent, noticing that tomorrow they didn’t have school, that they wouldn’t walk together to school anymore, that Oikawa was leaving soon. The pressure in his chest grew again, stronger than any time before.
This time he couldn’t hold back the tears, and Oikawa frowned, worried about him.
“Let’s go inside and talk.” Iwaizumi wanted to complain, but Oikawa grabbed his hand and turned to his house. Hajime couldn’t hide his blush, and hoped that the other boy didn’t notice.
Iwaizumi already knew Oikawa’s house as well as his own, and he felt that his stomach tickled knowing they were headed to Oikawa’s room. Oikawa hadn’t let go his hand when they sat in the setter’s bed, and Iwaizumi tried to look away, hiding his blushed cheeks.
“Come on. Tell me what’s wrong.” Iwaizumi perceived pain coming through his friend’s voice, but couldn’t understand why. He ignored the setter, and Oikawa sighed.
“Ok, I’ll tell you a secret and then you’ll tell what is making you frown more than usual.” Iwaizumi was going to refuse, but Oikawa continued talking. “I like someone.”
Iwaizumi gently punched Oikawa in his arm, letting go off his hand. “That’s not a secret, Assikawa. You always like someone.”
Oikawa grabbed his hand again. “No, I mean someone that I’ve liked for a long time. Like, I seriously like them.” The seriousness in his tone made Iwaizumi shudder. “I-I guess since high school begun. But lately I’ve been thinking that I probably liked them even in middle school.”
Iwaizumi tried to control his thoughts. There was no way Oikawa liked him, after all he had always dated GIRLS. He knew that he shouldn’t think about it, that at the end he was going to fell even more heartbroken.
But he couldn’t ignore the way Oikawa was looking at him, how this felt so intimate. Couldn’t notice that he could fit the description. Couldn’t ignore that he begun liking Oikawa in middle school. Couldn’t ignore the heat coming from Oikawa’s hand.
It just felt right to be holding his hand. It’s not like they never held hands before, but it was never in an intimate way like it was now. When they fell while playing, the other one would hold his hand and take him home. This was so different, yet there still was the same comforting feeling. Iwaizumi had so many thoughts and feeling running through his mind, that he didn’t think of his next words.
“I don’t want you to go.” He said quietly. “I mean, of course I want you to achieve your goals. I want you to be happy, but-.”
‘This is a bad idea’ was the only thought going through his head now. He didn’t want to say so much. Yet, when he looked up to meet Oikawa’s eyes, he had the urge to tell him everything. Everything he felt, everything he thought. He wanted to spent all the time he could, just talking and holding hands with him.
“But?” Oikawa said quietly, with watery eyes. The setter started switching his gaze between Iwaizumi’s eyes and lips.
Iwaizumi swallowed, as he noticed they were getting closer. “I’m gonna to miss you.” It’s all his voice managed to say.
His gaze started focusing on Oikawa’s features. His pale lips, his perfectly arched eyebrows, his bright, brown eyes. He was beautiful, Iwaizumi thought.
“I’m gonna miss you to,” Oikawa swallowed. “Hajime.”
Iwaizumi couldn’t hold himself. He started crying, putting his head on Oikawa’s shoulder. “I can’t think of not hitting your tosses, of playing without you.” He lifted his head and locked eyes with the setter. “I’ve played my whole life with you. Spent every moment with you. I- I want you to be happy, bu-but I don’t want you to leave, even though that’s selfish. I want to be the one that makes you happy every day, Tooru.”
Oikawa’s eyes were wide open, and Iwaizumi feared that he had said to much. That he would scare him, and finally lose him. He bit his lip, and cried even more because of those thoughts.
Oikawa started crying, while letting go of Iwaizumi’s hand to hug him.
“I’m in love with you.” Oikawa whispered to his ear.
Iwaizumi let go of the hug to look to Oikawa in the eyes.
“Your kidding.” He said. “You shouldn’t joke with that, Crappykawa.”
Iwaizumi lifted his hand to punch him, but Oikawa grabbed his wrist and grabbed his hand. The setter looked to Iwaizumi’s lips and he couldn’t resist.
Iwaizumi pressed their lips together roughly and Oikawa didn’t hesitate to return it. Iwaizumi felt like his chest could explode from joy. He passed his fingers trough Oikawa’s hair, as he had dreamed so many times and Oikawa grabbed Iwaizumi’s muscular back.
Iwaizumi whispered ‘I love you’ so many times he couldn’t count them, and it felt just right when Oikawa answered every time with ‘I love you too’.