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Natasha stood in the commons area with an amused expression on her face. She was staring at a snoring, blanket-covered lump on the sofa. A foot stuck out from one end and a hand holding an empty soda can stuck out from the other. Tony walked by. “Is...he still asleep?” he asked her. Nat chuckled. “Yep,” she said, “twelve hours and counting.” Tony stared at the lump for a moment more, then shook his head, muttering something about “kids today” before moving on. Just then, the lump stopped snoring. It muttered, “Wh…?” and Tony walked backwards to where he’d been before. Slowly, the blanket shifted and moved until a disoriented Peter Parker emerged, revealing the culprit. “Oh, my God!” Stark exclaimed. “It’s alive!”
Peter looked at his basically-dad for a moment and blinked. The kid really was a sight to see: At least three cowlicks, puffy red eyes, mouth hung open in confusion, earbuds still in and probably playing the same song on loop. “Huh?...Where am I?” He managed to say. He tried to sit up and his hand slipped; he looked at it in surprise and realized he was still holding the soda, which he placed on the table. “You tell me,” Tony replied. “I think you slept yourself into an alternate dimension.” Peter blinked and rubbed his face, pushed the blanket from his body and sat up fully. He took out his earbuds and remembered that he had a phone, which he checked. “Oh, man,” he said, “it’s tomorrow! How long was I asleep?” “About twelve hours,” Nat replied. Peter stared at her for a moment and then looked around again, realizing he was in the commons area. “Aw, man,” he said, “Sorry for falling asleep here. I didn’t mean to. I guess I should’ve used my room.” Tony nodded. “I mean, that *is* what it’s there for.”
“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Nat chimed in. “It didn’t seem to make a difference. Banner came through and dropped a glass because Vision came through the wall and scared him, and they had a rather loud argument that almost created a green scene, and then they cleaned it up with a hand-vac because you were so still that they didn’t know you were there, and you slept through it all.”
Peter was still for a moment. Then he said “Huh” matter-of-factly and stood, starting to collect his belongings. “So, when do you get the results?” Tony asked. Peter checked his phone again. “I dunno,” he said, “it usually takes ‘em a while to get grades put in. Hopefully soon, because I really think I bombed that econ final.” Tony shook his head. “I’m sure you did fine, kid. Let me know when you hear back, yeah?” “Okay.” Iron Man left the room.
Natasha nodded. “I’m sure you did fine, too,” she said. “And welcome back to the land of the living.” Then she also left.
Peter stretched, folded up his blanket, and shook his head. How could he have fallen asleep in the commons area, where everyone had to go sneaking around him? And what was worse, he’d taken the sofa--that was a particularly selfish move. At least it didn’t seem to be a big deal to his adult counterparts.
He walked to his room and checked his phone for messages. Thirty Instagram DMs, two texts, and a missed FaceTime call from Ned, two texts from MJ, and two missed phone calls from May. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. He would have to explain to his aunt-mother that he slept for twelve hours on a couch in Mr. Stark’s nice tower with a soda can in his hand and a blanket on his face.
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A phone call to May, a text to MJ, and forty-five minutes of TikToks and memes from Ned later, Peter put his phone down and decided that sleeping on a couch for twelve hours made him feel very hungry and gross, so he showered, changed clothes, and headed to the kitchen. He rounded the corner and was surprised to come across Thor. “Hello, Spider!” the Norse god said amicably. Peter smiled. “Thor!” he exclaimed. “Whatcha doing?”
“I am fixing a snack.”
“What kind?”
“I have been told that *this* is some of Midgard’s finest food.” He held up a plastic cup of Kraft mac and cheese. “The macaroni and cheese of Kraft. Have you tried it before?” Peter laughed. “Yes, and it’s definitely one of my favorites.”
“Excellent! I anticipate eating it with great expectations. Would you like one?”
Spider-Man paused. “Actually, yeah, I’d love one!” He went to the pantry and retrieved his own cup. As Peter moved to the sink, Thor said, “I have never made one of these before. How do you do it?” The teenager had to bite down another laugh. He explained in great detail how to prepare Kraft mac and cheese, including everything from adding water to stirring the contents before cooking. When Peter went to the microwave, Thor frowned. “Three and a half minutes?” he said. “That is too long to wait. I wish to taste this Midgardian delicacy, and I wish for it NOW!” He held out his hand and Mjolnir flew in, and the God of Thunder aimed a bolt of plasma directly at the cups. A blinding flash of light came out of nowhere, faster than Peter could anticipate it, and when it was gone, the noodles were steaming--and the plastic cups were melted onto the countertop.
Both Avengers stared at the mess for a moment, then they slowly looked at one another. From another room, Natasha yelled, “Guys? What was that?” Already embarrassed over one incident, Peter quickly yelled back, “Uhh, nothing, Ms. Romanoff, mam! Just doing some--uhh--light baking?” Thor ran to the pantry and came back with loaf bread. Both of them could hear Nat’s heels clicking as she walked towards the kitchen. Thor tore the bread bag open and threw five pieces on top of the messy counter just as Nat rounded the corner. There was a weird moment where they all stared at each other, the boys with guilty smiles and the woman with a suspicious glare, but Peter broke the silence by pointing at the bread and saying, “See? We’re just baking some--sandwiches. Routine kitchen stuff here.” Thor nodded helpfully.
Natasha wasn’t fooled in the least. She’d seen Thor in action before, and it was easy to recognize the sound of a lightning bolt being summoned inside a building--it was something you didn’t hear every day. She also knew Peter Parker was one of the worst liars she’d ever laid eyes on (which was saying something). But she was really just interested in making sure no damage control needed to be done, so she humored them. “Oh, making grilled mac and cheese sandwiches? Doesn’t sound like baking, but okay.” Then she turned and left.
The boys stood tensely for a moment longer, waiting to see if she’d come back, and when she didn’t, they looked at each other. Peter’s mouth hung wide open. “Did you hear what she said?” he half-whispered. “Grilled mac and cheese sandwiches!” Thor replied, “I...do not know what that means but I am excited to try it because you are excited to try it!” This time, Peter let himself laugh. “Oh, we’re trying it alright!”
As they set to work making grilled mac and cheese sandwiches (and scraping charred noodles off of Tony’s marble countertops), Thor said, “Spider, you are a most enjoyable companion. Would you like to come play some video games with me? I am not busy at the moment--Asgard’s most pressing demands have been seen to. I am just here to ‘hang out.’” Peter thought his brain might explode. One of the original Avengers just asked me to play video games with him. He heard Owen Wilson whisper “wow” somewhere in the distance before turning to the Norse god and saying, “Absolutely.”
Thor grinned, and each of them grabbed their sandwiches and drinks before heading off to the gaming room. Even though he’d stepped inside a million times before, Peter was still taken aback by the sheer awesomeness of the room: it doubled as an in-home theater, so there were rows and rows of comfy reclining chairs, the screen took up an entire wall, and surround-sound speakers protruded from each corner. No matter how many beat-downs he’d received over his lifetime, and no matter how many lessons on humility he’d subsequently learned, Mr. Stark would always have a taste for the lavish and luxurious. At the moment, Peter Parker wasn’t about to complain about that.
Thor powered on the television and said, “Which game do you wish to play, Spider? Fortnite, perhaps? I am told that it is a quite popular selection for Midgardians of your age group, and indeed I have played it and found it engaging.” Peter paused for a moment. Though Fortnite could be fun, it wasn’t the game he’d expected. “What else is there?” he asked. “That’s not the vibe I had in mind.”
Thor paused. “The...vibe?” he repeated slowly. “I am unfamiliar with that term.” Peter laughed--he couldn’t help himself. “A vibe,” he explained, “is like...a feeling.” Thor still looked at him expectantly, and Peter stumbled. “Uh, it’s--it’s like a feeling of relaxing and letting life happen. It’s a good thing. If you like something, you vibe with it.” Thor didn’t seem convinced, but he shrugged. “Okay, Spider, whatever you say. What game do you want to play?”
“Ever heard of Minecraft?”
“Again, this is a Midgardian term with which I am unfamiliar.”
“It’s a video game where you build stuff. It’s equally popular to Fortnite among my...age group. If not more so.” Thor considered the idea. “Well, it sounds less engaging than Fortnite, but I suppose things get popular for a reason.” He scanned the stack of games for the disc, inserted it into the console, and took a seat beside Peter. As the game booted up, Thor bit into his grilled mac and cheese sandwich. He nodded in approval.
“Spider, I vibe with this sandwich.”
Peter laughed. “Me too, Thor. Me too!”
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They played for at least two hours when Peter’s concentration was broken by his phone buzzing. Naturally, he picked it up and was startled to see a notification that exam grades had been put in. “Whoa, that was really fast!” he said. Thor didn’t respond. He was very focused on creating his pub. In the time it had taken Peter to build a small spaceship, Thor had constructed an entire city. Peter looked at his grades and his eyes grew large. “WOO-HOO!” he screamed. This time, the god did look away from the screen. “What is it, Spider?” he asked in alarm. “Have you discovered a diamond?”
“No, Thor,” he said, “I passed all my exams!” He showed the god where the high grades were displayed on his phone. “Very good!” replied the god (who did not have any experience with the Common Core curriculum, but was supportive nonetheless). “Congratulations!” “Thanks,” Peter laughed.
Just then, Tony stuck his head into the room. “What’s all the noise about?” he asked. Peter showed his basically-dad the notifications and Tony gave his basically-son a half-grin. “Nice job, kid,” he said. “Knew you could do it.”
“Thanks, Mr. Stark,” Peter said breathlessly. Tony said “yup” and left the room, always on the move.
Spider-Man turned back to Thor. “Hey, I think I’m gonna go make a phone call,” he said. “Thanks for the game.” The God of Thunder nodded. “Thank you as well.” As Peter left and started dialing May to tell her the good news, Thor called after him, “I believe it is appropriate to say that I vibe with you, Spider!” Peter replied, “I vibe with you, too!”