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Virgil woke up shaking, his eyes wide and darting around his room. He was alone. He tried to keep himself from crying, gripping his arms tightly and allowing his nails to dig into his skin. It hurt but he needed something to stay grounded, to not let his mind wander. He wouldn’t let his mind drift, he wouldn’t he wouldn’t he wouldn’t-
With a shuddering breath, Virgil curled over himself as he felt tears prickling at his eyes, threatening to spill. It was just a dream, he tried to tell himself, but the tears wouldn’t stop coming. He started rocking himself back and forth, mumbling to himself.
“I’m an idiot I should have known I should have known he was lying he was faking it nothing was real it felt so real I was an idiot an idiot idiot idiot idiot-”
The door opened and Roman stepped in, eyes widening as he saw Virgil curled over himself. He quickly went to his side, sitting on the bed in front of him. Virgil didn’t notice as he curled into a ball, stuck in his own world of hurt.
“Virgil? Can you hear me?” The usually bold and loud man kept his voice as soft as possible, not wanting to scare the other even more than he already was. There was no response and instead, Virgil just kept shaking and muttering to himself. Roman felt his heart drop and slowly he reached out, putting a hand on his love’s shoulder.
Instantly, Virgil pushed himself away, staring at Roman with wide eyes filled with fear and rage. “Get away from me! You monster! ” He screamed as loud as he could, though his voice was already hoarse. He continued to stare at Roman, a deer caught in the headlights, a feeling of helplessness washing over him.
“V, please. It’s me, Roman.” He stayed where he was, allowing Virgil his space but still letting him know he was there. “I need you to do something for me, please.”
“You’re a liar ! Why would I do anything for you after what you did!?”
“Virgil, sweetheart, I need you to breathe.” Very slowly, so that Virgil knew it was coming, Roman reached his hands out to hold the other’s in his own. Virgil didn’t pull his hands away this time, but he still stared at the other in fear. “Deep breaths, V. You can do it.”
At that, Virgil squeezed his eyes closed as much as he possibly could, trying to take deep breaths and failing. His breath kept hitching and the more he tried to even them out, the closer he was to hyperventilating. He shook his head repeatedly, constantly muttering no over and over under his breath. Roman very gently squeezed his hands, worry flashing across his face.
“Virgil, love, hey. Can you name five things that you can see for me?” His worry washed away when he saw his beloved opening his eyes once more and slowly looking around the room.
“I… Posters, curtains…” He took a long, shuddering breath, “Blankets, closet, you…” He squeezed his eyes shut once more, trying to get him out of his mind. “God, I was such an idiot, I should’ve known, should’ve seen it coming-”
“Hey, listen. There was no way of knowing beforehand, but you’re here. You’re not with him anymore. Can you list four things that you can feel?”
He nodded, taking as much of a breath as he could before he would tense. “Your hands, bed, sh-shirt…” His eyes were still closed, though he felt a warm hand cupping his cheek.
“You’re doing great, love. You’re doing great. Now, three things you can hear.” Virgil gulped and nodded, still refusing to open his eyes.
“F-fan, cars-” You realize I’m the only one who would ever love you, right Virgil? Virgil tensed violently, a sharp breath cutting through the air. He stilled for a moment, trembling, before he continued to speak. “Y-your breath…” As soon as he finished, he launched forward, burying his head in Roman’s chest, trying to hide away from the world as much as possible.
Roman smiled sadly and began running his fingers through Virgil’s hair, helping to ground him more and comfort him. “That’s it, you’re doing so good. Two things you can smell.”
Mumbling through his protector’s chest, the small man spoke up once more. “You and bacon..” His breathing had become more even, though shallow breaths continued to cut through.
“Wonderful,” he spoke as softly as he could while making sure he could still be heard, “Now, just name one thing you can taste.” He pressed a soft kiss to his hair, resting his chin carefully on Virgil’s head as he held him close, arms wrapped tightly around.
“Does the remnant of sleep count…?”
“I would say it does. No matter what, you’re safe, you’re not back there anymore. And I promise you, no matter what, I will always do my best to be so much better than him, to be everything you deserve and more.” His grip around Virgil tightened ever so slightly, feeling as the love of his life relaxed more in his arms.
“Thank you…” His voice was so hoarse and quiet that if Roman hadn’t been paying attention, he would have missed it entirely.
“You’re welcome, storm cloud. I will always be here for you.”
Virgil’s grip on Roman’s shirt slacked, and he slumped more into his arms before wrapping his own arms around the other’s neck. “Ro…? Can we… stay like this for a moment?”
Roman kissed his forehead and smiled softly, “Of course, my dark knight. Anything for you, always.”