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English
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Published:
2020-05-10
Words:
597
Chapters:
1/1
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14
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The Yeeting

Summary:

A silly poem about Ares yeeting Apollo.

Notes:

Thank you Sparzy and Myth_is_a_Mirror for yeeting suggestions.

I do not own these characters, I'm just playing with them.

Work Text:

Apollo was a big mean Creep
His acts caused poor Perse to weep.
Eros could not let this stand,
But Apollo could not be banned.

Eros loathed seeing Perse cry.
There must be something he could try.
He begged her to share her woes
At least with someone that she knows.

“Maybe mom can be of help”
He offered with a slight yelp.
“No,” She answered quietly,
“To be honest she scares me”

“Let’s talk to dad, then” He smiled
“You were close for a while”
He said with a smirk and wink
That made Perse blush a bright pink.

“He knew that I had declared war,
Maybe he could settle the score.”
And with that they had agreed,
It was Ares they would need.

And so they found fierce Ares
Who was munching on some cherries
Looking like the disaster-dad
That has made us oh so glad

“Dad, Persephone needs some aid
For, you see, she’s been betrayed.”
Ares quickly jumped to his feet
“Who’s ass do I have to yeet?”

So now Ares has a new quest
To yeet Apollo, the damned pest
Until he is purple dust,
It is yeeting time or bust!

Ares yeets him off a cliff.
Ares yeets him in a lift.
Ares yeets him off the stairs.
Ares yeets him into bears.

Ares yeets him into snakes.
Ares yeets him into rakes.
Ares yeets him into rocks.
Ares yeets him in a box.

Ares yeets him everywhere,
Ares simply does not care.

Ares yeets him into hot tar.
Ares yeets him while in his car.
Ares yeets him out the door.
Ares yeets him from the 99th floor.

Ares yeets him shouting manically.
Ares yeets him soft and silently.
Ares yeets him late at night.
Ares yeets him in daylight.

Ares yeets him whenever he can.
Ares yeets with no set plan.

Ares yeets him into sharks.
Ares yeets him into larks.
Ares yeets him into bees.
Ares yeets him into trees.

Ares yeets into volcanos.
Ares yeets into tornadoes.
Ares yeets during hurricanes.
Ares yeets when the weather is plain.

Ares yeets whenever he wants.
Ares starts a yeeting renaissance.

Ares yeets him to open mic night.
Ares yeets him until his ass is tight.
Ares yeets him from the street.
Ares yeets him by his feet.

Ares yeets him into a lion den.
Ares yeets him into a pig pen.
Ares yeets him in a river.
Ares’ yeets make Apollo quiver.

Ares’ yeets become legendary,
All other yeets are secondary.

Ares yeets him off a boat.
Ares yeets him by the throat.
Ares yeets him from the loo.
Ares yeets him into poo.

Ares yeets him in his underwear.
Ares yeets him in a chair.
Ares yeets him into a bush.
Ares yeets him until he’s mush.

Ares yeets and yeets and yeets some more,
Until Apollo can take no more.

Apollo was getting annoyed
At being Ares’ yeeting toy
“Why do I keep getting yeeted?
What did I do to get you heated?”

“You betrayed Persephone,”
Ares says, cold and stony.
“You hurt her and now it’s war,
Now stop unless you want more.”

“I did nothing wrong!” he shrieked
“I only knew her about a week”
Ares’ eyes were full of scorn
“Just remember, you were warned”

And so Apollo was yeeted more,
And for Ares, it was no chore,
For yeeting gave him pleasure,
So much it was beyond measure.

And to this day Apollo creeps in fear
Of being snuck up from the rear
And being yeeted once again
By our dear war-born friend.