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Joy is starting to think that she’s abnormal.
Which must be insane, because although she liked to think that she was absolutely one of a kind, she didn’t exactly liked to be labelled as something different from the norm, in a negative way. Let’s face it, abnormal is the synonym of weird and awkward.
She has been feeling all sorts of emotions over the course of just three weeks that she can't help but think whether she's going insane. She has never experienced all these emotions at once that a part of her felt scared and confused.
The reason why Joy was even feeling this way in the first place was because of a person.
It was in the form of Jung Yerin.
(x)
Joy cannot believe her luck.
“Jung Yerin,” Joy crossed her arms, her stance defiant. “You tricked me.” She glared at the other girl who seemed to be oblivious to her annoyance.
Yerin was crouched down as she stared up at her with those damned eyes. “I did?”
Joy narrowed her eyes. “Yes, you did! You told me we were going to go out to get groceries but here we are, babysitting your niece!”
They were supposed to get groceries because their food stock was really a saddening sight. They were only left with expired spaghetti sauce and a few crackers. They even finished their stock of instant ramen and ramen were essential to two broke college students’ life. But Yerin took ahold of her hand and dragged her to a 'pitstop', Yerin had said. Little did she know the pitstop was Yerin's stepsister's house. Yerin's stepsister just told them a few instructions to take care of her child before finally handing her four year old child, Umji to Yerin's arms and leaving the household for a work dinner.
Joy could only force a smile at the circumstances when really, she was about to blow off on Yerin.
“Aw, c’mon, Sooyoungie.” Yerin squished Umji’s cheeks repeatedly, making the child giggle. "How could you say no to this face?”
Joy was really about to go on another rant on how Yerin should never trick her unless she wanted to live but then she saw the pout on both Umji and Yerin and her heart just melted instantaneously. She was weak against cute little things that she just forgot about her annoyance towards the other girl.
"Okay," Joy sighed in defeat. "But I better get my Pringles."
On the way to the grocery store, Yerin walked ahead with Umji holding her hand and Joy, who was walking behind, took pictures of the sight ahead. She squealed internally how Yerin and Umji looked so cute and a sudden thought came into her mind, Yerin would make such a good mommy.
She even briefly wondered how Yerin would be like as a wife but she quickly shook that thought away. That's weird.
They continued walking like that for a few moments until Umji suddenly stopped, causing both Yerin and Joy to stop. "Umji? What's wrong?" Yerin asked, crouching down to the child's eye level. Umji just shook her head but held out her free hand to Joy to which Joy accepted the small hand.
"Aw, Sooyoung, Umji likes you." Yerin exclaimed excitedly. Joy felt her heart soar in happiness. They walked like that to the grocery store, with Umji in between Yerin and Joy, holding both of their hands. Once they reached the store, Joy carried Umji and placed her onto the child's seat of the trolley.
Yerin pushed the trolley while making faces with Umji who only laughed and made even funnier faces to Yerin. Joy smiled at the interaction, Yerin was really good with kids. Joy was going through a shelf of cereals, wondering which cereal to get until an elderly woman came up to them.
"You two make a really cute couple," the elderly woman interrupted them, patting Umji's little head. "And your daughter is adorable too." She gave them a genuine smile, her eyes wrinkling at the side.
Joy was about to correct her until Yerin wrapped an arm around her waist, tapping her sides to tell her to just go along. "Oh, thank you so much. That's really kind of you." Yerin smiled back, her body closer than ever to Joy's. Umji just giggled and clapped her tiny hands.
"Oh, it's not a problem. I wish you three a wonderful day ahead of you." The woman bid her goodbye and waved. Umji waved back excitedly, her giggles ringing in the air.
Joy turned to look at Yerin. "Why did you let her think we were a couple?"
Yerin had an unreadable expression on her face. "Oh, you know. I didn't want to crush her hopes since she looked genuinely happy at seeing a young lesbian couple. Not a lot of people would be okay with it."
The other girl had such a valid point that Joy couldn't help but agree.
Joy just shrugged and went about to get their groceries whereas Yerin went back to entertaining little Umji with her facial expressions. Soon enough, their cart was filled with all sorts of food from instant food to junk food. They took their groceries and headed their way back home.
Opening the door to her and Yerin's shared apartment, Joy ushered the two girls in and proceeded to unpack their groceries whereas Yerin plopped down on their couch with Umji on her lap. Yerin played peek-a-boo, blew raspberries and even showered Umji with kisses.
It didn’t even register to Joy that she was burning holes with her intense stare from the kitchen. She didn’t even realise she was glaring at the smaller child, causing Umji’s eyes to water and wail in fear. But by the time she realised her mistake, it was already too late.
Yerin’s eyes widened. “Crap.” She rushed to soothe the child, gently humming a lullaby to stop Umji from crying.
Joy just stared blankly at the duo, her mind somehow could not comprehend how and why she glared at a freaking child.
(x)
Yerin had dragged her to see their friends that weekend.
Don’t get her wrong, she loved her friends. Really, she did but right now, all Joy wanted to do was just to spend a lazy afternoon in sweatpants at home, watching crappy reality shows and eating comfort food. All Joy wanted was time to herself, especially after a long shitty week.
But no, Yerin just had to make plans with their friends without her knowing. Of course, Yerin wouldn’t leave Joy out of her plans. They basically come in a package — you’d always see Yerin and Joy together as they were never apart. If you wanted to see Yerin, you had to see Joy too. And if you wanted to see Joy, you had to see Yerin too. They were inseparable.
"Guys! Over here! Woohoo!" a husky voice bellowed as soon as they entered the cafe, Joy could only conclude that that was Sejeong. Sejeong was the type of friend who only lived in the moment and couldn't care less in regard to what other people think.
Yerin was also one of them. "Sejeongie!!!!" Joy felt second-hand embarrassment from two of the most extra people she has ever met for causing such a scene in the cafe. They both hugged each other as if they haven't seen each other in a lifetime with Yerin exchanging kisses on the cheek with Sejeong, who looked thoroughly thrilled.
Joy only watched them, her stomach churning at the sight.
"Easy there, green eyes." Joy turned to look at Hayoung, who wore an odd smile. "Give me a hug before you actually kill someone with that green monster of yours." Joy didn't comprehend what Hayoung uttered but she hugged Hayoung just the same. She truly missed the other girl, they haven't met in a while that Joy almost forgotten how Hayoung could read her like an open book.
The four girls took their seats, ordered their drinks and started to exchange news on what was going on in their lives. They found out that Hayoung got accepted as an intern at one of the most prestigious accounting firm and Sejeong who had recently signed a record contract as a songwriter at her dream entertainment company.
"Oh god," Hayoung groaned in sudden realisation. "I'm surrounded by couples." She said it with almost a distaste.
Joy furrowed her eyebrows. "Um, we're all single here."
"Excuse you," Hayoung looked almost offended. "I'm the only one single here. That one," she nodded to Sejeong who was busy typing away on her phone with a broad smile on her face. "Already has a girlfriend whom I bet is texting her right at this moment and then there's you guys, who practically act like an old married couple already."
Yerin, who was sipping her drink moments before, accidentally choked on her drink. Joy rushed to get napkins and wiped away the stain on Yerin's chin with another hand gently rubbing her back. Once she made sure Yerin was okay, she turned around to face Hayoung again, who just had a I told you so expression written on her face.
"You guys just proved my point."
Ignoring the comment, Joy asked Sejeong. "You have a girlfriend?"
"What?!" Sejeong exclaimed incredulously, shaking her head. "No, no, no! I don't!"
Hayoung leaned over to see who Sejeong was texting. "Then who's Sexy Chungha?"
Sejeong looked caught off guard, "Um...grandma."
All three girls threw unimpressed looks at Sejeong who was blushing at her mistake. "Really, Sejeong? It would have been believable if you said your roommate or something but your grandma? Sexy? No thanks." Yerin berated, shivering as if imagining a mental image of Sejeong's grandma.
"Alright, alright. Chungha is my... really good friend."
"Hm.. with benefits?" Joy taunted.
Sejeong scratched her nape, embarrassment creeping up on her cheeks. "Uh yeah..?"
"OUR SEJEONGIE IS GETTING SOME!!!" Yerin screamed excitedly, catching the attention of other people in the cafe. "WOO!!!"
Hayoung looked terrified. "Sooyoung, control your girlfriend."
"She's not- Ah! Jung Yerin, stop it!" The said girl was waving her hands around like a mad woman, even doing a little dance on the spot.
"Oh god." Sejeong face palmed, Yerin never ceased to amaze her with her hyperness.
Hayoung stood up. "Let's get out of here before they kick us out."
(x)
After the catching up session they had yesterday with their friends, Yerin wanted to eat some real food and it just so happened that there was a new restaurant just three blocks away from their apartment
Yerin being herself, wanted to try out the new restaurant. Joy wasn’t much of a trier, she preferred staying safe and just go have dinner at their usual diner where the owner, Wendy, knew them as regulars. Joy almost felt like she was betraying Wendy for going to this new restaurant that was supposedly Wendy’s rival. If it weren’t for Yerin’s puppy eyes, Joy would have probably been eating at her favourite booth by the window in Wendy’s diner, chatting away with the owner with a grilled cheese in her hands.
As soon as they entered the restaurant, Yerin already decided to be her extra self and make a scene.
“My favourite couple of the all time!” Yerin squealed, gathering the attention of the patrons around them. Joy felt embarrassed on behalf of Yerin — since Yerin has no shame at all — and gave an apologetic smile to the onlookers. Yerin rushed to two girls, which Joy briefly recognised them as Eunha and Yuju, where they were seated at a corner booth. Joy had no choice but to follow the other girl.
“What a coincidence! I never thought we’d bump into each other like this.” Yerin jumped up and down, going to Yuju to hug her before giving her a kiss on the cheek to which Yuju just smiled and gave Yerin a kiss on the cheek of her own.
Yuju then greeted Joy who merely waved politely.
“Aww! Eunha, my baby!!” Yerin cooed, squishing Eunha’s cheeks. “You cutie! Come here!” She then smacked a big kiss on Eunha’s cheeks which caused the younger girl to shook her head vigorously and close her eyes in almost disgust.
“Blergh,” Eunha wiped the kiss away from her cheeks. “Why do you even like to kiss people? It can be counted as a personal offence, you know.”
“I don’t kiss just anyone,” Yerin pointed out. “I only kiss my favourite people.”
“Can’t you start hating me, unnie? I don’t want kisses from you anymore,” Eunha crossed her arms, chin high up as she glared at Yerin.
Yerin stared in amusement. “You know that just makes me want to kiss you even more.”
“….Never mind, then.”
“Why don’t you guys just join us?” Yuju suggested, an arm snaking around Eunha’s waist. “We can catch up while we eat.”
Yerin turned to look for approval from Joy, to which the other just meekly smiled, signifying that she didn’t mind joining the other two. Yerin then took Joy’s hand, ushered her in into the other side of the booth before sitting down next to her.
After ordering — or more like, Yerin ordering and Joy just agreeing — the four girls were absorbed in a conversation.
“So, Joy, how’s living with a menace?” Eunha asked cheekily, earning a groan and a “Hey!” from Yerin herself. “I mean, I don’t have first-hand experience living with a devil.”
Joy broke out into a smile, laughing lightly at Eunha. She turned to look at Yerin who had her face in her palm and was already looking at her, expectation in her eyes. It was then that Joy realised that she was still holding hands with Yerin, with the other girl drawing circles on her hand.
Joy smirked. "It would have been better if it weren't for Yerin's snores late at night."
"Park Sooyoung!" Yerin screeched, flabbergasted that Joy would reveal her sleeping habits to Yuju and especially Eunha, who could do so much with that information.
Joy laughed at Yerin who's simultaneously pouting and glaring at her. She winked and drew circles on Yerin's hand, a silent apology in her gesture.
At the peripheral of her eyes, she could see Yuju and Eunha looking and smirking at each other. She wondered what that was about, it was probably a couple thing where they could read each other's minds but Yerin was looking at her like she was torn between killing her and hugging her.
Yuju cleared her throat. "So, dessert?"
(x)
Dinner went fairly well, in Yerin's mind. She got to meet and catch up with her favourite couple, Yuju and Eunha and she got to spend a night with Joy as well. It was a good night overall for Yerin but she wasn't so sure about Joy.
After bidding their goodbyes to both Yuju and Eunha, the pair were on the way back to their apartment. There was a tense awkward silence in the atmosphere as Yerin could sense that something was wrong considering that Joy was quiet ever since leaving the restaurant. Yerin even noticed that while Joy was eating and conversing with Yuju, her smile didn’t exactly meet her eye. It was almost as if her smile dimmed a bit, and that saddened Yerin. Yerin didn’t bring up the topic there and then, figuring that it would been better if she talked to Joy in private and try to figure out what caused her to be so upset.
Whereas, Joy was too preoccupied with her thoughts as she walked side by side with Yerin. Her mind was clouded with the thoughts of Yerin and her. Were they really best friends? They've known each other since young, of course they're best friends....right? Shouldn’t she be one of Yerin’s favourite people, if not the most favoured? She couldn’t really comprehend why her mind was too focused on the comment Yerin made.
I don’t kiss just anyone. I only kiss my favourite people.
Those words kept ringing in her head. Joy should at least be Yerin’s favourite person, they were best friends after all and with that logic in mind, shouldn’t she get a kiss from Yerin as well? Joy was frustrated, why wouldn’t Yerin kiss her? Is she that disgusting to look at? Was she too ugly in Yerin’s eyes that she simply can’t land her lips on Joy’s cheek? Now that she thought about it, she has never gotten a kiss from Yerin, even on the cheek. It was almost as if Yerin wouldn't kiss her. She got lost in her thoughts once more.
As they walked, the weather became even colder. Yerin noticed Joy shivering a bit and wringing her hands together, she must have forgotten to bring her gloves. She reached out and held onto Joy’s hand, trying to warm them until that plan failed when Joy flinched and pulled her hand away quickly. Joy quickly put her hand into her coat pocket, ignoring the hurt look on Yerin’s face.
“Joy?” Yerin looked at her with worried eyes. “Are you okay?”
The other girl just hummed in acknowledgement, giving her a slight nod. Apparently, Yerin wasn’t satisfied with the answer. It wasn’t like Joy to not reply to her.
“Sooyoung.”
Yerin only called Joy by her real name when she was angry and annoyed or wanted something from her. Right now, it might be the former. Joy turned to look at Yerin, her face blank. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Just peachy.” Joy stated as a-matter-of-fact.
Yerin frowned, she wanted to dig more but they had already arrived in front of their apartment door. Joy quickly opened the door and rushed straight to her room, closing the door with a slam before Yerin could say anything else.
The other girl could only sigh in defeat. She wished she knew what was bothering Joy, maybe she could have been some help if Joy would just share her troubles with her. It hurt Yerin to know that Joy was suffering and she can’t do anything about it because Joy won’t talk about her problems.
Yerin decided to give Joy some privacy as she stalked off to the bathroom and started washing up. It wasn't long till she finally finished; her hair was wet over her shoulders as she changed into an oversized t-shirt and shorts. She went into the kitchen, cleaned the dirty dishes and threw out the trash.
A glance at the clock told her that it was almost midnight. Yerin managed to clean the whole apartment for two hours. She looked at Joy's closed door down the hall almost forlornly, unsure of what to do.
Screw it, she thought.
Yerin walked up to Joy's door, a knuckle up and ready to knock. She then shook her head before deciding to just open the doorknob slowly. Her eyes caught on a silhouette under the sheets, curled up into herself. The older girl sighed and went straight to where Joy was. Joy's face was covered by the blanket but even Yerin could tell the girl was already in slumber. She crawled into the other side of the bed, uncurling Joy and pulling her into an embrace where Joy laid her head on Yerin's chest.
Amidst all that, Joy still remained asleep but Yerin managed to smile when Joy's body automatically leaned into a familiar embrace; her embrace. She adored Joy's face for a few moments before finally she fell into a deep sleep.
The next morning, Joy woke up on a soft chest, with strands of hair tickling her nose as she scrunched her face. She blinked her eyes open, propped herself up only to see Yerin sleeping peacefully. Joy admired the other girl's beauty, she cannot believe how gorgeous her best friend was and her heart suddenly ached when she remembered that Yerin doesn't believe her whenever Joy compliments on her beauty.
Joy traced Yerin's face lightly with her index finger, along the other girl's forehead, nose, jaw before stopping momentarily at Yerin's mouth.
“Hmmm?” Yerin rasped suddenly, eyes open in delight. “What a good way to wake up.”
Joy scrunched her eyebrows in confusion, hoping Yerin won't notice the heat on her cheeks for being caught staring at the other girl. “What do you mean?”
“Waking up to your beautiful face first thing in the morning is always a good way to start the day.” Yerin leaned in close with a smirk, their faces were inches apart. Joy could feel Yerin’s steady breathing brushing against her face. If she just leaned in….
No.
Wait.
Joy pushed Yerin back roughly, getting some space between them and making Yerin flop back down onto the bed. Joy suddenly remembered that she was supposed to be mad at Yerin, she was supposed to ignore Yerin, not having the desire to kiss her.
Her mind was playing tricks on her.
She could hear Yerin guffawing out loud in the background, probably liking the fact that she made Joy flustered. Yerin was playful like that. God, what was she thinking? She rolled her eyes and tried to get out of the bed. Unfortunately, she was still tangled up in the blankets that she fell unceremoniously onto the floor, leaving Yerin on the bed alone bellowing out even more laughter.
"You asshat, Jung Yerin." Joy managed to get out of the blankets as she stood up, glaring at a laughing Yerin. "I don't know why I put up with you sometimes."
She made a move to stalk off to the bathroom until a pair of arms pulled her down onto the bed again. She struggled to get out of Yerin's grasp but Yerin was too strong for her to fight off. Yerin even managed to straddle Joy before grabbing Joy's hands and held them above her head.
"Yerin," Joy breathed out, trying to not think about their position so much. "Get off of me."
"Nope," Yerin popped the 'p'. "Not until you tell me what's bothering you."
"Nothing's bothering me."
"Don't lie to me, Sooyoung. I know you better than that."
And Joy knew she did. Joy knew that Yerin could read her like an open book and distinguish different emotions Joy would feel, Joy knew that Yerin could tell when she's upset or when she's annoyed or when she's happy, Joy knew that. Joy also knew that she could never lie to Yerin.
She decided to go with half of the truth of what's bothering her.
Joy sighed, looking into Yerin's expressive eyes. ".....What do I mean to you?"
Tilting her head to the side, Yerin looked confused and caught off guard, she expected Joy to ramble on about something else. "You? To me?"
"Yes."
"I-I.... Sooyoung, you're my best friend." She glanced at Joy momentarily, and continued on when she had Joy's full attention. "You mean the most to me, you're my best friend. Nothing and no one can ever replace you."
"Okay," Joy nodded, eyes a bit lost. "That's all I wanted to know." A best friend, that's what she meant to Yerin. She should be satisfied with the answer, considering they've known each other since junior high but... for some odd reason, she wasn't. And that was what confused her the most.
She then glanced at the clock, "I'm late for class." Joy gestured Yerin to get off of her and she did, with much reluctance.
"Sooyoung..." Yerin protested, not wanting their conversation to end. She knew Joy was hiding something much more than that.
"I'll see you later." With that, Joy headed to the bathroom, leaving a perplexed Yerin behind.
(x)
For the next few days, Yerin walked on eggshells around Joy. She knew that the other girl could just close off completely when probed by unlimited questions. Joy didn't like people knowing how she felt, she would much rather keep it to herself. And so, Yerin decided that she would just act normally around Joy while hoping that Joy would slowly and eventually open up to her. She wouldn't want Joy to close off on her; the only other person that could understand her.
Yerin made sure she got up before Joy and even made breakfast for the other girl before they both left for class for the next few days. Joy was surprised, to say the least and she even questioned Yerin about it to which Yerin just shrugged and told Joy to just eat her food.
Yerin made sure that she'd surprise Joy with coffee after her English class on Wednesdays, knowing full well that Joy tended to fall asleep for her next class. Joy only dubbed Yerin as a lifesaver and gave her a warm hug before chugging down her coffee like water.
Yerin made sure that she'd pick Joy up from her tutoring sessions on Friday at the library. Yerin waited outside at the benches for Joy and when the other girl arrived, they would go for a quick lunch at their favourite cafe across campus.
Yerin made sure Joy was okay because she deserved nothing but that.
(x)
Sejeong’s…thing? — Joy would have said girlfriend but she once said that word and Sejeong started on a rant about how they were just really good buddies and not girlfriends —, Chungha, had invited the two girls over for a party in order to celebrate their anniversary of … fucking each other? Joy didn’t know but hey, free booze and Yerin was all more than glad to just party the night away.
The two girls were currently seated on a black sofa, Yerin squished against Joy’s shoulder since there was another couple — Sejeong had shouted at that said couple, (Jieqiong and Nayoung, she thinks?) to get a room instead of defiling her couch but to no avail — vigorously making out at the other side of the sofa. It was a bit awkward on Joy’s part but she had Yerin by her side distracting her and engaging her in a conversation until… she didn’t.
Joy watched as Yerin muttered a “Be right back.” before bouncing off to a girl across the room. The girl had brown shoulder-length hair, the expression on her face looked as if she would rather be anywhere else but this party. The girl seemed really familiar to Joy although she couldn’t really put a finger on what was so familiar about the girl.
The girl was just stirring her drink as her eyes scanned the room before finally, landing on Yerin who was grinning so widely Joy was worried that her cheeks might just fall off of her face. The other girl smiled excitedly, rushing to wrap her arms around Yerin. It was when the girl smiled broadly that Joy finally realised who she was.
It was Sinb. Yerin’s ex-girlfriend.
Joy continued to observe them. As far as she knew, Yerin and Sinb had broken up on good terms, simply stating that it was not the right time for any of them to be in a relationship. Now that Joy thought of it, Yerin didn’t say that she lacked feelings for Sinb. It could be very much possible that Yerin still had feelings for the younger girl.
For some reason, Joy’s stomach plummeted at the thought of that.
Yerin and Sinb chatted away, with Yerin’s arm snuggled around Sinb’s waist. There was a point where the music was too loud that Sinb had to whisper her words for Yerin to hear. Her mouth was so so so near Yerin’s ear that they looked really chummy around each other. Joy could see Yerin’s red cheeks from a mile away. Whatever conversation they were having must have been either really embarrassing or just plain sensual for Yerin to blush.
At the sight of Yerin’s lip landing on Sinb’s cheek, Joy got up and walked away, not wanting to see anything more.
The constriction in her chest was making it hard for her to breathe so Joy walked to the balcony of the apartment in hopes of getting fresh air. She walked to the metal landing, feeling the cool breeze brushing up her arm. The balcony overlooked the city, the city’s lights contrasting well with the dark night. She could hear the thumping of the music at the party behind her but otherwise, she regarded it as background noise. A calm feeling fell upon Joy.
Stars aligned the night sky and Joy suddenly remembered that one time where Irene unnie taught her how to read the constellations. That night, before Irene unnie left for college and Joy was still a freshmen in high school, Irene told her of the stories of how the constellations came to be and that if she tried hard enough, the constellations might just grant her a shooting star for her to wish upon.
If that was true, Joy would have wished upon that shooting star for her to comprehend the turmoil that was currently going in her. The weird things she feels whenever she’s with Yerin.
Joy smiled at the memory. She briefly wondered where Irene unnie was in this world.
“Hey.”
She turned around at the sound of a voice and closing of a sliding door. Yerin walked up to her, immediately wrapping her arms around Joy’s waist from the back. She and Yerin were of the same height so it was not a problem for Yerin to put her chin on Joy’s shoulder.
Joy hated how her body automatically leaned back into Yerin’s embrace. “Hey yourself.”
“I’ve been looking all over for you. I thought I almost lost you, considering that you are prone to getting lost,” Joy elbowed a chuckling Yerin. “Why are you out here in the cold?”
“It’s not that cold.”
“I could feel you shivering, Sooyoung.” Yerin tightening her hold, as if to prove her point.
“It’s not cold when you give me warmth.”
Yerin chuckled, nuzzling further into her neck. “You’re cute, Sooyoungie.”
A silence fell upon them with both of them just enjoying the night view. Hundreds of questions swarmed in Joy’s mind about Yerin and Sinb, she just can’t shook them out of her head. She wished she could but that was easier said than done.
Joy broke the silence with a million-dollar question lingering in her mind. “Was that Sinb?”
“Yeah, it was. How did you know?”
“I recognised her. Are you guys still good friends?”
“We are. Sinb was one of my favourite juniors back in high school, she holds a special place in my heart.” Yerin explained, causing Joy to nod her head.
“…Do you still have feelings for her?” Joy held in her breath, unsure if she really wanted to know the answer to that.
It was silent. And then, "No, I don't. Not anymore." Yerin mumbled something under her breath that Joy didn't quite manage to catch.
"Let's go dance, Sooyoung," Yerin then pulled Joy back into the living room, feeling the music through their veins. It was an upbeat song that they danced to as they both let the music take over their bodies.
Joy could feel herself unwinding as she let herself loose. It was easy to do so with Yerin by her side. Yerin made her feel good, Yerin made her feel things that she thought only existed in fairytales, Yerin made her feel loved.
After what it seemed like a lifetime of songs, Joy gestured to Yerin that she was going to get a drink to which the other girl just nodded. She reached the kitchen and searched for any form of liquid.
“Here you go,” a voice offered, a red cup in hand. “Don’t worry, it’s just orange juice.”
Joy smiled gratefully and looked up to see Chungha smiling back. “Thank you, Chungha.”
“No worries. So how’s everything? Enjoying the party?”
“I’m a bit tipsy but you do throw the best parties,” she pointed out, earning a grin from Chungha.
“Now, that’s what I like to hear.”
“Chungha!!!” Joy recognised that voice to be Sejeong’s and she was right when she saw the distraught expression on Chungha’s face. She looked behind Chungha to see Sejeong stumbling her way through masses of people before smothering Chungha with kisses.
Not wanting to third wheel any longer, Joy just thanked a preoccupied Chungha for the drink before making her way back to the dance floor, trying to catch a glimpse of Yerin. She stood on her tippy toes and spotted the back of Yerin’s head. She trudged past drunk people, trying to get to Yerin. Once she reached Yerin, the sight before her made her stop in her own tracks.
She found Yerin on the dance floor, dancing the night away with Sinb. Well, dancing didn’t seem quite right — it was more like they were grinding on each other. Joy felt sick to the stomach, and yet she felt even sicker when she saw Yerin and Sinb kissing— was that tongue? — each other.
Joy’s heart ached. She accidentally dropped her drink, a dull thud and the spill of the drink catching the attention of both Yerin and Sinb. Yerin’s eyes met with Joy’s, guilt swimming in them. “Sooyoung…”
Before Yerin could say anything else, Joy ran out of the door.
(x)
"Joy! Joy!"
Joy continued walking, ignoring the voice. The streets at night were colder than usual, she tried to briskly pace even faster just to get out of the cold. She was heading back to her apartment just because she couldn't stand being in the same room as Yerin and Sinb.
"Park Sooyoung!" Yerin somehow managed to catch up with her, grabbing her arm as she tried to regulate her breathing. She sounded as if she just ran a thousand miles to catch up with Joy. "Sooyoung, what's wrong?"
Joy stayed silent. She was trying to get a hold of her emotions, she was not going to blow up in the middle of the streets at an ungodly hour. She didn’t why she was so bothered by the kiss. It didn’t even directly involve her but for some reason, she couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss Yerin and Sinb shared. She didn’t want to know why.
"Sooyoung," Yerin stood in front of her. "Tell me what's wrong."
"Who was it, Yerin?" Joy asked suddenly, a hollowness in her tone.
The other girl, on the other hand, looked perplexed. "Who was what?"
Joy gulped, she already knew the answer beforehand but she felt like she just needed to hear it from Yerin herself. "Who was the one that you kissed?" She desperately tried to sound nonchalant about it but even Yerin could hear the accusatory tone in the question.
"What?!" Yerin was bewildered, why did that matter?
"You heard me."
"Why do you care about who I kiss?!" Yerin clenched her jaw, her fists curled. She tried getting her anger in control, this conversation was taking a swift turn.
"It's because I'm your best friend, I deserve to know!"
Yerin raised her arms up in the air. "Well, it was Sinb. Are you happy now?!"
Joy was stumped. She already knew but hearing it first-hand from Yerin was enough to make her stomach churn and her breathing to go unsteady. It was true, Joy concluded, that Yerin still had feelings for Sinb.
"You told me you had no feelings for her! And then you go and kiss her, how could you?!"
"How could I?! How could I what, Joy?"
"How could you lie to me?!"
"I've never lied to you,"
"Sure, tell someone you don't have feelings for your ex-girlfriend and then you go ahead and kiss that said ex-girlfriend. Do you need a dictionary definition of lying, Yerin?" Joy scoffed in disbelief.
Defensive, Yerin crossed her arms. "I don't have feelings for Sinb!"
"Then why did you kiss her?!"
Yerin's eyes flashed with anger. "Why is that bothering you so much, Sooyoung? Yes! I was so caught up in the moment that I kissed Sinb and boy, I sure did enjoy it especially what she did with that ton-"
"Stop!" Joy glowered, eyes blinking back tears. She didn't want to hear anything anymore. In that exact same moment, Joy realised everything. She realised that all the weird things she felt around Yerin, she realised how much she loved being around Yerin, she realised why she was being so defensive with Yerin and Sinb, she realised that everything made sense now.
Somehow, someway, Park Sooyoung had fell in love with Jung Yerin.
"Stop! Stop! Stop!" Joy bellowed, a few tears managed to escape. "It's bothering me because I'm jealous, okay?! Are you satisfied? I'm jealous! Let me just shout it to oblivion for everyone to know that Park Sooyoung is jealous of Sinb, who gets a kiss from the almighty Jung Yerin!"
"What?" Yerin blinked, trying to comprehend the turn of events.
At this point, Joy was already bawling out tears. "Why does she get a kiss and I don't? Why do Yuju and Eunha get kisses from you and I don't? And what about our friends who seem to be so familiar with your kisses and I'm not? Heck! Even your niece knows your kisses and yet, your own best friend doesn't. I don't get it, Yerin! Why won't you kiss me?!"
"I-I-" Yerin averted her eyes. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to kiss Sinb. It just sort of happened.”
The truth was out already in the open. Joy finally let her feelings explode in front of the sole reason why she experienced the rollercoaster of her feelings in the first place. Yerin would be as dense as a brick if she didn't know what Joy was implying.
And Yerin did.
Yerin knew what this meant for Joy. Yerin knew what this meant for the both of them. Yerin was just afraid of the consequences, afraid of the results, afraid of the future.
“I-I’m s-scared,” Yerin stuttered, putting her face in her hands. Joy was confused. For all the years that she has known her, Jung Yerin was definitely not a stutterer and she most definitely did not get scared. If anything, Yerin was the bravest person Joy had ever met whose courage could rival a Gryffindor’s.
“Scared of what?” Joy sounded almost afraid of the answer.
“I’m scared," Yerin chuckled darkly, turning away from Joy. "I’m scared that if I kiss you, I’m not sure if I’m able to stop. I don’t think I can, especially not with you.”
Realisation dawned on Joy. She then walked around Yerin and stopped inches in front of her. She grabbed Yerin's hands away from her face and held Yerin's chin up for her to meet Joy's gaze.
Joy took a deep breath, knowing fully what it meant to take the next step. “Who says you have to stop?”
Yerin stared at her. "Wha-"
Joy didn't give a chance for Yerin to question anything. She went in straight and let her lips touch Yerin's in a soft kiss. She moved her lips against Yerin's frozen ones, trying to get Yerin to kiss her back. She was about to pull away from the kiss in fear that she misread all of Yerin's signs but Yerin had managed to break out of her reverie, pulling Joy closer by the waist.
Joy snaked her arms around Yerin's neck as she felt their bodies flushed together. Yerin kissed Joy back with all of her might, all of the years of frustration of silently loving Joy went into the kiss. She wanted Joy to understand how she felt.
They continued to exchange kisses until they had to come up to catch their breaths. Joy leaned her forehead against Yerin's, eyes closed as she tried to calm down her racing heart. God, how did she ever went without ever experiencing Yerin's kisses? Now that she had gotten a taste of it, she wanted more.
"Wow," a breathless Yerin commented. "That was....wow."
Joy chuckled wholeheartedly. "Great use of adjectives."
"Shut up." Yerin pinched Joy's sides, causing her to yelp in protest. "You know, Park Sooyoung, I might just be in love with you."
Joy grinned. "I might just be in love with you too, Jung Yerin."
"Since we got that out of the way, let's just let our mouths do the talking." Yerin wiggled her eyebrows, getting a smack from Joy but Joy only shook her head and closed the gap between them again.
Now, instead of kissing everyone, Yerin only kisses her.