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As Blaine said, “I don’t like the way that I feel about myself anymore, Kurt!” Kurt took a small breath. The tension that was lingering over the two boys for the whole week finally came crashing down with that statement, and it kept falling and falling as Blaine continued. Kurt stood there, breaking in after Blaine said, “And fratboypysicals.com ISN’T gonna judge me.”
“And neither will I,” Kurt said in a strong, yet gentle, tone. “Ever. But I am not going to apologize for not being some delicate flower that needs his boyfriend to protect him. And you know what?” The lean male asked, taking this moment for a breath before plunging deeper, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it is a contest. Maybe that’s the way it has to be with two guys. But I would much rather be running this race with you rather than against you.”
“Me, too. I just..” “As equals.” Kurt interrupted, his voice just as strong as it was previously. “I know, I know,” Blaine said, his voice breaking, “I-I know. I know that, I’m sorry. I’m just,” he paused, “I’m just so scared that you’re gonna.. keep changing, and you’re gonna keep getting stronger, and then one day you’re gonna wake up and you’re gonna realize that “I don’t love him anymore.”” The last statement cracked and went softer as Blaine's eyes filled up with tears, and he glanced away slightly before looking back at a pained Kurt.
“Never. I’m always gonna love you,” Kurt said softly, his eyes glazing over with unshed tears, “And I don’t want you to be insecure or ashamed around me. Next time you’re going through something like this, you-you have to be honest with me.” He spoke, walking closer to the man and engulfing him in a hug. He rubbed Blaine’s shoulder with his thumb, feeling Blaine nestle his head into his shoulder and whispering, “Okay.”
They stood there for a bit, before Kurt pulled back slightly. “Blaine, go take a shower. Go clear your mind for as long as you want. You deserve it, go relax, okay?” He suggested in a gentle tone, moving his hand to cup Blaine's cheek and rubbed it with his thumb. Blaine just nodded as he leaned into Kurt's touch, before backing away and grabbing some clothes from Kurt's room before walking into the bathroom.
Once he was sure Blaine was in the shower, Kurt took to the plan that slowly formed in his head. He called Rachel and asked if she could stay with Mercedes for tonight, saying that “He and Blaine just need some time to work some things out.” He was glad Rachel complied and said she would call Mercedes, for once being civil, before he got to work. He quickly moved the couches back, glad that the combat classes he was taking gave him the right amount of strength needed to.
He quickly made space before going to his room and grabbing the extra fairy lights he had just laying around in one of his drawers. He made quick work of hanging them up, making sure they were center and even before starting on moving the T.V. back more. He queued up an instrumental version of a song but had it paused, and he then stepped back to admire the space he created. He decided it was enough space for a dance area, it was cozy, and slightly romantic but not too much. The bathroom door creaked open, and Kurt spun around with a small smile on his face as a now-curly haired Blaine stepped out.
Blaine looked up from where his eyes were on the floor, and they grew large as he took in the space. “How.. Why?” He whispered, looking at Kurt with wonder and amazement in his gaze. “Because,” Kurt said simply, before holding his hand out, “I wanted to treat you to this.” He smiled wider when Blaine accepted his hand, and he pulled him into his chest.
The taller man placed a kiss on the curly head below his chin, then he pulled back and played the song. The two boys swayed across the floor, Kurt leading the movements, before he started to sing.
You say "What if I go crazy?"
I say "That ain't gonna happen"
You say "What if I get lost?"
I say "You'll just find your way back"
And you say "What if someone breaks my heart?"
“I'll put it back together like I do”
You say "What if I don't catch the dreams
That I've been out there chasing?
What if when my fears show up
I'm too afraid to face them?"
Well, I can't fight your battles
But I sure can hold your hand and promise you
Blaine looked up in awe as his fiance sang with such a raw emotion, his eyes welling up with tears once again. Kurt looked down, never stopping the song. He just brought Blaine closer, dancing slowly to the tune.
That the sky will still be up there
And the sun will always shine
The stars will keep on fallin'
For the ones who wish at night
The mountains won't start moving
And the rivers won't run dry
The world will always be there
And so will I
Kurt sang the chorus to the man in his arms, gaze never breaking from Blaine's. His voice grew more passionate with each lyric, twirling the boy before bringing him closer.
You say "What if things start changing?"
I say "We'll be changing with ‘em
We'll just sing a different melody
And dance at different rhythm"
You say "What if I give up?"
I say "That's one thing that I'll never let you do"
You say "What if someone leaves me
And they leave me empty-handed?"
I say "Losing only teaches you
To not take things for granted
No, I can't just bring 'em back
But darling, I can hold your hand and promise you"
Tears rolled down Blaine’s face as the song resumed, and he buried his face in Kurt’s shoulder. His body shook as silent sobs forced themselves out of him, and Kurt just held him tighter.
That the sky will still be up there
And the sun will always shine
The stars will keep on fallin'
For the ones who wish at night
The mountains won't start moving
And the rivers won't run dry
The world will always be there
And so will I
Kurt’s own tears fell silently as he continued, but he never stopped. He knew Blaine needed to hear this, he needed to know that Kurt was there for him. He buried his nose in Blaine's hair, before pulling away as he sang the post-chorus, holding the notes well for the emotional state he was in. He took a small breath before he finished the song.
Even if the sky is fallin'
And the sun don't want to shine
If the stars we used to wish on
Disappear into the night
Well, I can move a mountain
But only by your side
Just say you'll always be there
I know you'll always be there
And so will I
As Kurt concluded the song with the final note, Blaine’s sobs grew louder. They stopped dancing and just held each other tightly, their cheeks red and tear stained. Kurt just whispered “I love you” over and over again, kissing Blaine’s forehead and curls. After a few moments, Blaine pulled back and looked at Kurt with puffy eyes. A small smile appeared on his face, his body more relaxed than Kurt has seen in a while.
“Thank you. Thank you so much,” Blaine said, his voice hoarse from his crying. Kurt leaned down to kiss him, smiling against his lips. “No need to thank me. I meant it, you know? Everything in the song.. I meant it. I will always be here for you. No matter what.”
Blaine pulled back, his arms still resting on Kurt's shoulder blades. “So will I,” he whispered, before kissing Kurt again.