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Today was a good day. A very good day. Not only a good day, but a great day. Bucky was doing okay. He was smiling, he was happy. Happy is always a good thing, especially with Bucky.
For starters, this morning was amazing. You woke up to an empty bed. And at first, you freaked out, normally when you the bed next to you was empty Bucky was having an episode. You looked around to see if anything was broken or damaged, but surprisingly nothing was. The blinds were even pulled open.
You get up and pushed the thin sheets off your body, causing you to remember last night’s escapades with a smile. You stagger to the clean laundry pile, grabbing one of Bucky’s shirts and pulling it over your head with a tug.
You stretch and feel your back crack, reminding you that its morning.
Walking into your kitchen in the mornings almost always brings a smile to your face. Perhaps it was the yellow rays of sunshine lighting up the room, or it could be the promise of breakfast. Today was no exception.
You were greeted to a shirtless Bucky, making pancakes and letting out a string of curse words whenever anything goes wrong.
You lean in the doorway for a minute, in the stereotypical romantic movie way. Bucky turns around and looks slightly shocked when he sees you standing there. “Shit, doll. I wanted to have breakfast ready for you woke u-”
You walk over to him and cut him off with a kiss, gently tugging him down to your height by his hair. He wraps both of his arms around your waist and you leave your hand in his hair while you wrap the other one around the back of his neck. Bucky spins you around and carefully picks you up and puts you on the kitchen island, deepening the kiss.
You pull away for a heartbeat and say: “It’s okay,” before pulling him back towards your body. The two of you make out on the counter for a minute before you smell something burning.
“Do you smell something burning?” You ask, pulling away from Bucky’s lips, much to his protest.
“Shit shit shit.” He exclaims, letting go of your body to run to the stove, attempting to save whatever’s left of the pancakes.
You laugh at his charming forgetfulness, he was definitely an old man.
“I’m going to get some cereal from the fridge unless you think you can salvage the pancakes?” You state with a giggle.
“Yeah, that’s probably for the best,” Bucky responds. “None of these are eatable.”
You walk over to your refrigerator and open the door to get the milk. Bucky’s arms snake around your waist and he rests his chin on your shoulder. “I love you."
"Relax, I was only getting milk.” You exclaim with a chuckle. You spin around to face him and quickly peck him on the lips. “I love you too.”
Bucky smiles into the kiss, and for a second you think he’s shoving you into the fridge, and then you realize he’s getting the milk. “Hm, I see you have an alternative motive.”
“I only have eyes for you, Doll. 2% milk is no competition.” Bucky smiles and lets you go. He reaches to the top of the fridge and grabs a box of cheerios. He puts the milk and cereal on the counter as you sit on one of the stools.
“You seem to be having a good day.” You exclaim as Bucky slides a bowl of cereal in front of you.
“I am.” He says, going to sit across from you as you take a bite of your cereal. “God, did I tell you how fucking beautiful you are today.” He says as more of a statement than a question.
“I think you just did.” You say, spooning some cereal into your mouth.
Bucky smiles a weathered smile and then perks up. “I just remembered, I got us a reservation at that place Pepper was talking about.”
“The french place?” Bucky nods, his smile never wavering. “God, I can’t wait to sink my teeth into a twelve dollar eclair."
"Mm, what time is it?” You exclaim, confused at your lack of exhaustion, especially since you fell asleep at 1 am.
“10.” Bucky shrugs even though he’s probably checked the clock at least twenty times since he woke up.
“It’s 10!” You blurt, all while Bucky is sitting across from you, chuckling as he spoons cereal into his mouth. “I slept for 9 hours!”
Bucky grins, and you smile at his happiness. “It’s nice to see you so happy."
You put down your bowl of cereal and walk over to Bucky and stand behind him, resting your chin on his head and wrapping your arms around his waist. You plant a kiss on his shoulder. "I’m going to go take a shower.”
“Okay,” Bucky says as you walk to your bathroom.
“Are you coming.” You exclaim from over your shoulder, looking for just long enough to see Bucky stand up, his smirk as prolific as ever.
~
You and Bucky made it out of your apartment at 12, after a very… Relaxing shower.
Most of the time Bucky preferred to show no PDA, for fear of one of his enemies seeing and hurting you. Today was different. Bucky had his arm draped over your shoulder as you walked, he would smile every time he looked at you. Nobody would guess that this happy man had been through such tragedy. His past didn’t define his future.
Instead of taking a taxi or the subway you and Bucky opted to walk the distance on the sidewalks of New York City.
The two of you got an amazing apartment in Brooklyn for surprisingly cheap. You were pretty certain that Pepper did some meddling with your landlord, but you didn’t care (and Bucky pretended he didn’t know, even though you were certain he did).
The weather today was reflecting your mood. Bright and sunny. Today was such a good day. You and Bucky reach the restaurant after about an hour of peaceful walking. Bucky holds the door open for you like the complete gentleman he is.
The restaurant is insanely nice. Like, 12 dollar eclair nice. “Buck, do you think we can afford this place.” You ask, immediately skeptical of the three forks and silk napkins.
“It’s okay Doll,” Bucky says, reassuring you in the most Bucky way.
“Do you have a reservation?” A woman’s voice asked. Startled, you turn to see the hostess standing in front of you with a lively smile on her face.
“Yeah, Barnes,” Bucky says, keeping his arms wrapped around you, an unusual cocky smile on his face.
The woman smiles and looks down at her list, then looks back at you and Bucky and simply says: “Right this way.”
The woman leads you and Bucky to a table next to the window, in the front of the store. Bucky pulls the chair away from the table for you and pushes you back in when you sit down.
You had rarely see Bucky smile this big, or smile at all frankly. Picking up the menu that the hostess put down on the table you quickly scan the sheet. Even though you were expecting the items to be pricey, you weren’t expecting this. Hell, the eclairs weren’t 12 dollars, they were 14.
You frantically look up at Bucky, concerned about the prices. Instead of seeing an incredibly distraught face, you were instead met with a beaming Bucky, adoration written across his features.
“What?” You ask, his smile spreading to your face.
“Nothing, I just love you so much.” He reaches over the table and clutches your hand lovingly. Today was a good day.
~
The food was really expensive. But Bucky didn’t care. And neither did you. Bucky was so happy, and nothing could make you happier than that.
You finished up lunch at 2:30, after several 14 dollar eclairs. Bucky takes your hand in his as you walk back to your apartment. He was no longer smiling, but his eyes were, much more than his mouth ever could.
After the half an hour-long trek the two of you finally made it back to your apartment building. You start to walk towards the stairs when Bucky catches your arm. “It’s okay Doll.”
Bucky had a phobia of small spaces. It reminded him of what Hydra would do to him, keep him strapped into a chair, and then throwing him into a tiny cell when they were done. Bucky only took the elevator when he needed to, or when he was too overwhelmed to know what he was doing. The point is, whenever Bucky had the choice, he would never use the elevator.
But today he did the opposite. “Are you sure, you don’t need to feel like you have to.” You respond, stroking the side of Bucky’s face.
“I’m alright, I promise,” Bucky says, grabbing both of your hands and holding them in a loving embrace.
With your hand in his, you walk to the elevator, reassuring him by placing one of your hands on his shoulder. Bucky leans over and pushes the button for number 4, waiting patiently for the doors to close. “If you need to get off just let me know, we can stop at any time.” You exclaim in the most calming voice you can muster.
As the doors to the elevator close, you hear Bucky take in a sharp and ragged breath. You put your other hand on his chest to calm him and his breathing seems to steady. The elevator moves upward and you can hear the sound of clanking as it reached each floor. When you reach the second floor you lean into Bucky and quietly say: “It’s okay Baby, it’s halfway done.” All Bucky does is reach down and grab your hand, squeezing it to remind himself that you’re there.
As the number flashes to the third floor you wait for it to go onto the fourth, but it doesn’t. The elevator stops altogether. No. No. Of all people this could’ve happened to, it had to be Bucky.
You immediately turn to meet Bucky’s eyes, facing him and seeing the panic on his face. His eyes immediately flit around the room, looking for any possible exit and finding that there are not.
“Bucky. Bucky. I need you to look at me.” He avoids your eyes and continues to exam the room, looking for any crack or opening that he could take advantage of. His eyes set on the place where the sliding doors connect. “Bucky, please don’t try to pull the doors open, it’ll make it worse.”
Bucky doesn’t speak. He walks towards the doors and tries to put his fingers between the two doors. Bucky puts the tip of his fingers in the crack and tries to pry it open. It leaves a dent, but alas the doors don’t budge.
You try to touch Bucky, but right when you make contact with his skin he winces, and you pull away. You low your voice to a whisper, trying not to harm Bucky in any way. “Bucky, baby."
Bucky turns back around to you, panic surging in his eyes. At first, you’re terrified that you’re no longer speaking to Bucky, but the Winter Soldier instead. In an instant, you were sure that the man standing in front of you wasn’t the Winter Soldier, but someone desperately afraid of becoming him.
Bucky slams his hands into the wall and pulls another one up to rake against his face and hair. You lean in from across the elevator to see tears building up in Bucky’s eyes. If you were another person, and Bucky meant something different to you, you would be fearful for your life. But you weren’t somebody else, and Bucky meant the world to you; you were more scared for Bucky than for yourself. Bucky wouldn’t hurt you, but would you accidentally hurt Bucky?
You walk closer to Bucky, and for the third time, you attempt to calm him. "Bucky.” That was all you said. Not as a question, and without any hesitancy in your voice. It was a statement.
Bucky turns around to look at you, the heartbreak in his eyes more evident than ever, and a tear rolls down his face. Bucky staggers over to you and wraps his body around yours, making you carry some of the emotional and physical weight on Bucky’s body and mind.
“Your name is James Buchanan Barnes.” You feel his tears sinking through your shirt as he clutches you tighter. You continue, “You were born on March 10th in 1917."
You slowly sink your body downward, taking Bucky down with you. "Your best friend is Steve Rogers.” You lower yourself further. “In 1943 you enlisted in the army.” Your voice lowers to a whisper as your body drops even further.
“You were assigned to the 107th.” You reach the ground, “and were captured by Hydra.” Bucky’s breath hitches, and you wish you could skip this part of the story; but alas, you had to tell the bad parts before you could tell the good ones. “But you were rescued by Captain America.”
You scoot your and Bucky’s bodies towards the wall of the elevator.
“You joined the Howling Commandos.” You say, pushing yourself further towards the wall. “But then you fell off a train.”
Your back hits the wall and Bucky squeezes you harder, either from the slight impact or from news you just recited, probably both. “And was captured again by Hydra.” You reposition yourself, putting Bucky’s head in your lap, his body faces diagonally towards the middle of the elevator.
“You lost your arm.” Bucky’s face scrunches up, and you respond by stroking his hair, which visibly calms him down. “Hydra tortured you.” That was the line that you said the quietest, but Bucky still shoots straight upwards.
You grab his face in both of your hands. Bucky doesn’t wince, and you realize it’s because he knows that you would never hit him. You were one of the few people who would never hit him, and from what you’ve heard there aren’t as many people in Bucky’s life who would never physically hurt him as you wished there would be. “Inside your of your mind, Hydra created someone called the Winter Soldier.” Even more, tears streaked down Bucky’s face, and you rested his forehead on yours. “They used the Winter Soldier to do horrible things.” You clutch Bucky tighter to your chest.
“Eventually you were rescued by Steve Rogers.” Making a point to say his best friend’s whole name, to reassure him that he was saved by an ally, not a foe. “He turned you back into Bucky.”
Bucky was violently shaking at this point, so much that his metal arm was hitting the ground, making loud noises. “And Steve found you again.” Bucky calmed down slightly, shaking less than he was before. “A man named Tony Stark waged war on you because of something the Winter Soldier did.”
You pressed a light kiss onto Bucky’s forehead, not wanting to startle him too much. “You and Mr. Stark made peace.” Bucky calmed down more, and his body was shaking less. “And a woman named Shuri made sure that the Winter Soldier wouldn’t come back.” At this point, Bucky’s body was almost entirely still, except for the occasional stutter. You were unhappy that you had to tell this next part as well.
“Then a man named Thanos waged a war.” Bucky started shaking again, and he reached out his metal arm behind you to steady himself, which in the process caused his arm to make the clanking noise again as he shook. “And he wiped out half of the world.” You pause for a moment, taking in a long and strangled breath “including you.”
Bucky starts to shake even more, so you gently pull his head down to your chest, so he can hear your heartbeat. So he can know that you are alive and safe. “But you got brought back to life, by Mr. Stark none the less.”
Bucky’s choked sobs have slowed, and been replaced with silent tears. Your shirt was fully soaked, but that didn’t matter. All that matters is that Bucky feels safe. That Bucky is safe. “Steve went back to the forties.” Bucky’s breath hitches again.
“Then you met me.” Bucky stops breathing as heavily and looks up to meet your eyes. “You are safe."
You pause, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s temple "You are loved.” You hadn’t even realized it, but tears were streaking down your face.
Bucky sits up and stares you in the eyes. He wipes the tears off his face and feigns a small smile. “I’m safe?” He tries to say as a statement, but it comes off as a question instead.
You put your hand on the top of his neck, resting just below his chin. “Yeah.” You swallow, looking him dead in the eyes. “They can’t hurt you anymore.”
Bucky doesn’t say anything, he simply leans in and kisses you. Not a passionate kiss, not a sensual kiss, but a loving kiss. A kiss that’s only message was thank you. A kiss that both you and Bucky needed.
“I love you.” He exclaims in a voice so quiet that if he had said it any lower you wouldn’t be able to hear.
You pecked him on the lips and said a line that would be insensitive if you weren’t in this current situation: “I know.” You pause for a moment, and then remember something that you should have done the second the elevator stops: push the damn emergency button.
Bucky is still holding onto you with a death grip, but the panel is a few feet away. You lean in closer to Bucky’s head and whisper “hey Bucky, I have to let someone know we’re stuck in here.”
Bucky nods slightly, but when you go to move he maintains his grip on your body. Bucky’s still shaking, although not as dramatically as before it’s probably a good idea to stay holding onto him. When you look down at him he looks away, seemingly guilty for keeping you rooted in one spot.
“It’s okay, I’ll call Judy on my phone.” Judy was your landlady, a nice woman in her late 60s. Judy had straight grey hair that she always wore with one lock of hair braided in the front. She was the type of person who sold hand-made tye-dye t-shirts at the front desk and talked about going to Woodstock like it was yesterday.
You had her number on speed dial and she picked up almost immediately after you started ringing. “Hello dear.” She says, her soothing voice immediately calming you down.
“Um, we’re, uh.” You look down at Bucky, whose is at this point resting with his head on your lap while you were running your fingers through his hair. His eyes were closed and his body was still shaking, the sound of his metal arm clanging against the floor making the sharp metallic sound echo throughout the elevator.
You put your hand over your mouth in a certain way to make sure that only Judy could hear you. “We’re trapped in the elevator.” Bucky still hears, despite your best efforts, and flinches at the word trapped.
Judy gasps slightly and then begins frantically talking: “Oh dear lord, tell me what happened! Is James okay?” Judy always called Bucky James, and if it was almost anyone else he would be pissed, but no one could ever be pissed at Judy.
“Um, we’re, uh- getting through it.” Bucky grabs your hand and holds onto it for dear life, all while you move from running your hands through his hair to rubbing his temple. “Could you do me a favor and call the fire department?” You ask politely, even though in reality all you want is to freak out and get this fucking thing over with.
“Yes, I’ll call them right now. Now dearie if you need anything just let me know. I am so terribly sorry that this happened to you and James.”
“Thanks, Judy, I’ll let you know.” You hang up the phone and look back down at Bucky.
“How are you doing baby?” Bucky’s eyes open and rest at a squint.
“I’m here.” He exclaims, stating a fact that may seem useless to anyone else besides you. He was here. Bucky was here. Right now being here is the best you could hope for.
Bucky sits up, and you stroke a strand of hair out of his face. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Well, we’re talking right now,” Bucky says with a forced chuckle.
You smile for a split second and then lean in to kiss his hairline. “If you don’t want to you don’t have to.”
“No. I- I do.” Bucky gulps and looks away. “It’s just- I’ve been through so much with Bucky. It just, uh- kind of shocked me that Steve would leave me. I trusted him.” He looks back up and you can see tears glistening in his eyes.
“I know, I don’t think that he knew what he was doing.” You run your hand along his face again and watch a tear roll down his cheek. “I’m sorry baby, but you do know that I’m not going to leave you.” You pause for a moment, creasing your brow. “Right?”
Bucky looks away, blinking several times. “I’m not going to leave you Bucky.” You halt and run your fingers through your hair, trying to think of something that could calm him down. “I can’t imagine not loving you, and I can’t imagine a reason for leaving that love behind.”
“I have something I want to ask you,” Bucky exclaims as you go back to running your fingers through his hair.
“Shoot.” You respond, trying to force yourself to calm down.
“I shouldn’t. I- I mean I shouldn’t right now.” He gulps.
“Why not?” You ask, your brow creasing in worry, the artificial serenity on your face subtly being destroyed.
“Because you deserve it to be perfect, you are perfect.” Bucky takes a long and shallow breath then continues. “And if you’re with someone as obviously imperfect as me… Then at least the moment should be perfect.
He looks you in the eyes and sees the confusion. "I- I should do it now. But, since it’s not perfect, I’ll do it again later.” He swallows. “I- I just need to know the answer, to, um- calm me down.”
“Okay baby, what is it.” You exclaim, worry creasing in between your brows.
He sits up and fumbles with something in his pocket.
Oh my god
Holy fucking shit.
It was a velvet box.
He opens the box to reveal a classical engagement ring. You can’t speak. Your hands go flush to your face and you can’t speak. Bucky Barnes was sitting in an elevator, holding a wedding ring. For you.
Bucky’s face drops when he notices that you haven’t said anything. “Do you want to pretend like I didn’t just do this. Or should we break up? I’m sorry, I just-” He pauses, and that’s when you remember what he had gone through just minutes before.
There were dried tears on his face, and his body was still shaking. “I was having a good day.” He says as a tear rolls down his cheeks. “Because I knew that I was going to propose to my girl today.”
Bucky is at this point fully sobbing. He looks like he’s going to go in to cry on your shoulder, but then he stops himself. That’s when you realize that you never answered his question.
“Yes.” You say at almost a complete whisper.
Bucky’s eyes snap to your face and his entire demeanor changes. He immediately starts to smile and he completely lets down the guard that he was holding in his body language. “You want to marry me?” He asks, out of breath from nothing.
“More than I’ve ever wanted anything before.” Bucky smiles and his tears stop. His shaking hands move to slide the ring onto your finger. Once the ring is on your finger you hold it up to the LED light projecting into the room. The diamond sparkles.
Bucky leans towards your face and presses a tender kiss onto your lips. You may be stuck in an elevator, and Bucky may still be healing, but you knew one thing for sure: you and Bucky will be alright.