Archive of Our Own

imin woke up, as usual to the sound of pounding on his bedroom door. For a second he thought he was late for work before looking at the clock next to his bed showing a blinding red 1:00 p.m. Right. Saturday.

“Come on Jimin, Get up! I'm hungry.” 

“I’m up I’ll be right there mom.”  He yells out, though he’s sure it’s muffled from the pile of blankets he’s in. He really wishes he could have just one lazy morning, where there’s no reason to get up, nothing to do. 

Jimin gives himself a few more minutes of peace and quiet before prying himself out of his blanket burrito so that he can make his mother lunch. He’s not even hungry yet, but he’ll probably eat whatever he makes. 

After a quick trip to the bathroom Jimin stops in the living room, where his mother is working on whatever her new craft project is. “Morning. What do you want to eat?”

“Anything works, my stomach is growling. Afterwards I'm going to need your help with something.”

“Yup.” 

Jimin walks into the kitchen to see what he has to work with. His mother can’t take anything too spicy, or any meat that's too heavy. Jimin decides to go with a Chicken dish, something quick and easy. 

After he and his mother ate she asked him to help her cut fabric, sure not like Jimin has things to do or anything, thinking of the stack of papers he needs to grade. By the times he’s done helping her it’s almost four. He gets out of the house by reminding his mom that the street market in town closes at five and they need vegetables for the week. 

When he steps out of the house, it’s the first breath of fresh air he’s gotten all morning. Though he knows his outing won’t be long. By the time he gets back home it’ll be six. He’ll have an hour to do his own work, if he can focus, before he has to get up and make dinner. He was almost hoping he would get some time to work on some dances today but that’s not going to happen. He puts his headphones in as he walks to the market. He would drive, but it’s a nice day and the longer he gets to be away from home the better for his sanity. 

It’s not that he hates his mother, on the contrary he loves her, more than other people would think. She’s his mother, she gave up a lot to raise him on her own. It’s just that the price he had to pay back was high. He doesn’t mind helping her, taking care of the woman who raised him, but lately it’s like his whole life revolves around her.

As Jimin reached the market he took his headphones off. He started with the vegetables, then the spices,  he worked his way through the different stalls, greeting all of the vendors as he was taught. He was sure they could tell his mood was off but no one said anything about it. 

His final stop was the fruit stand. 

“Hello Min-ssi!” Jimin called, not seeing the middle aged woman just yet. He assumed she was somewhere behind the front of the stand getting more stock or something. 

He’s looking over the baskets of Strawberries trying to find which ones would be sweetest when a voice finally responds “ My mothers not here but I’ll be sure to let her know you were looking for her.” 

Jimin looks up, of course he had heard about both of the woman’s sons throughout the years, he was never lucky enough to catch a glimpse of either one. The younger son even attended the same college as him for a time, they just never seemed to run into  each other. Whichever son it is, the woman's description did not do him justice. Jimin was almost stunned by how handsome the man was. He snaps himself out of it and gives a slight bow.

“Sorry, excuse me for the mistake -” Jimin’s not sure which son it is.

“Yoongi. You are Jimin-ssi I presume?” Jimin nods a little confused as to how the other knows his name. “My mother may have spoken about you a few times.” 

“I see. Well it is nice to meet you Yoongi-ssi”

The playful smile that had been on Yoongi’s face dropped when Jimin's eyes met his. “Jimin-sii.” He said taking the younger's attention away from the apples he had started to look at after their introduction. “There’s no need to force a smile if you do not feel it.” 

Jimin froze, of course he knew that it was obvious that he was not in a very good mood today but he didn’t think that anyone would question his smile. He was good at faking it, a skill he had perfected in high school. “ I don’t know what you mean.” He says. Finally putting his selections together to hand to the man. It is quiet until the seller hands back his change. 

“Do you have some time Jimin-ssi? I was about to pack up but I'd like to pick up some cakes from a cafe nearby and would really enjoy some company.” 

Jimin was taken aback by the request, having just met the man, but a small part of him was interested in spending time with the handsome son of the local fruit seller. He checked the time on his phone.

“ I have a little time.”

That’s how Jimin ends up sitting in a little cafe with Yoongi, sipping on an iced chocolate while the elder puts the finishing touches on his take home order. There’s a small slice of cake in front of each of them, Yoongi insisted on treating him. “You work at the elementary school right?” The elder asks after coming back from dropping off his order. 

“ I do. I’m a science teacher. And you Yoongi-ssi.”

“Ah I think you can just call me hyung now.” He’s starting to feel a little old with Jimin calling him ssi and he knows that they’re only two years apart in age. “ I’m finishing my masters in music production right now. I currently work as an assistant to one of my professors but I help at the stand when I can.”

“I see, I’m sure your mother appreciates the help.”

Yoongi snorts “ She would prefer I stay far away. It’s more of a side job to fulfill her. The farm has contracts with many groceries they work with. I insisted on helping today because my father wanted to take her out.” 

“I see.” Jimin’s voice came out a little softer. 

“My mother mentioned to me you also teach dance classes over holiday breaks? She keeps telling my older brother and sister in law that they should put my niece in the class once she gets old enough.” 

That makes Jimin laugh “ I do sometimes, tell them not to rush on my account. I’m sure I’ll be here for years to come.” 

Yoongi hums a bit “ No plans of branching out.”

“Ah no, too much to do here as it is.” Jimin replies. Maybe once he thought moving to the city would be great, but he has responsibilities here. That dream died years ago. 

“I see. Well If you ever do have some free time between all the things you have to do, I would love to do this again sometime.”

Yoongi and Jimin exchange numbers that day and for the first time in weeks Jimin can say that the smile on his face is real. 

The feeling lasts, he’s not even all that bothered when his mother yells at him for not texting that he would be back a little late. It’s only 6:30 by the time he makes it home, but it’s still late.

He’s still happy while making dinner, while grading papers, while listening to his mother complain about her aching joints from sewing. For the first time in a long time, Jimin’s found something that can distract him from how much he hates his everyday life.

Taehyung notices it too, the next day when they meet up for ice cream in between errands Jimin is running for his mother. 

“You're happy.” His best friend doesn’t ask, he states it like a fact. After all these years Taehyung is probably the only person that can really read him. 

“I made a friend.”  Jimin continues to recount the hour he spent with the ever so elusive Min Yoongi. 

“It’s been a while since I hung out with hyung, I’m glad he was able to give you something else to think about.” Taehyung was the only person who knew about Jimin’s fun situation, the only one who was privy to the mental hell that Jimin refused to pull himself out of because his sense of loyalty ran too deep.

“Ah I forgot, you’re actually friends with him” To Jimin Taehyung was the only close friend he had ever had. When it came to Taehyung's friends they only ever saw Jimin as someone Tae brought around so he sort of distanced himself from being around any of Tae’s friends. 

“I’m friends with everyone Jimin-ie, but I’m only soulmates with you.” Tae also had a knack for making Jimin feel like he actually mattered in this world. It was something Jimin would be forever grateful for. 

They only had about an hour left before Jimin had to finish his errands and get back home. He dreaded to think of the stack of papers still waiting to be graded. He didn’t get to even look at a dance video all weekend. Summer classes were going to start soon, he needed to get caught up on all the new trends.

Still he tried to enjoy his time with his best friend, Taehyung was a huge gossip so their meetups often turned into a tea party. Jimin was reluctant to let their time end, but he knew his mother would kill him if he wasn’t back soon. So with a promise to text later he headed off.  

Jimin was so caught up in running around for his mother that he didn’t notice the new texts he had waiting for him until he was settling down to grade his students' homework. One was from Taehyung,  a photo of a puppy he saw while out with a friend. Another was from Yoongi, just a simple hey that turned into an hour long conversation about whether cats or dogs are better. It did serve to keep Jimin entertained while he made his way through the stack of assignments. 

Before he knew it he was done and his mother was asking him to make dinner. They sit down to watch a movie after eating. Jimin doesn’t really have any interest in the movie but he knows his mom will be upset if he doesn't pay attention. 

It’s not a bad movie once he gets into it, he and his mom actually have pretty similar tastes when it comes to action movies. This one is about a government conspiracy and information heist. By the end of it though Jimin is both physically and mentally drained. He pushes himself to clean up and makes sure his mom has water in her room before going to his own room. It’s only then that he gets a chance to look at his phone again. There’s a couple of texts from Yoongi asking if Jimin fell asleep on him. 

Jimin: Sadly not yet, but I probably will in a few. The kids act up if they sense your tiredness.

Yoongi-hyung: I can imagine, pretty sure I was one of those kids.

Jimin: Then I hate you

Yoongi-hyung: Aww Jimin-ie, don’t be like that. You would have loved me, I was a cute kid.

Jimin: Pics or it didn’t happen

Yoongi-hyung: Maybe tomorrow. Didn’t you say you were gonna sleep?

Jimin: I should sleep, but now I’m curious about Min Yoongi’s baby photos.

Yoongi-hyung: Come over one day, I’m sure mom won’t let you leave without seeing them

Jimin: Hmm is that an invitation?

They end up talking until Jimin does actually fall asleep and for the first time in a long time Jimin is able to wake up and turn off his alarm with a smile on his face.  

Jimin’s morning routine goes by quickly. He has to drop his mom off at her workplace on his way, she’s getting out early today so he makes a note to run out and drop her off at home on his lunch break. 

He usually eats while working on lesson plans during his in-between period on days like these.

Except today that did not happen. The morning had been fine, his students were relatively well behaved as usual. 

Everything hit the fan after the lunch period. He was running late getting back to the school due to traffic and made it back with only a minute to spare. Then one of the math teachers got sick during his free period and Jimin was asked to cover the class. It’s not like Jimin didn’t understand the material. It was elementary math after all. He was just running a little sluggish due to you know, not eating anything all day. Of course the kids noticed and took advantage of it, acting extra rambunctious during the class, and subsequently his classes after that picked up the same trend.

By the time the kids had left for the day Jimin was ready to pass out. He was hiding in the employee bathroom, just in case another one of his colleagues decided to corner him for “help” with their work. Being the youngest teacher had its drawbacks and those usually were getting stuck with a lot of grunt work. He’s sure that if he even tries to take a bite of his packed lunch he’ll be stopped.

So instead Jimin settles for a granola bar while hiding in the bathroom and checking his phone for the first time all day.

Yoongi- hyung: You alive?

Jimin: For now, you wanna finish the job? 

Yoongi-hyung: That bad?

Jimin: It’s 2:30 in the afternoon and I have had exactly one granola bar all day. Also why are children like sharks? 

Yoongi-hyung: Because no one listens to them otherwise?

Jimin: Why did you have to go and be right?

Yoongi-hyung: Sorry lol I guess brains are a blessing and a curse

Jimin: I hope it’s a curse that kills you

Yoongi-hyung: Awww Jimin-ie, don’t be like that. Hyung will treat you to food when you get out of work.

Jimin: I’ll have to ask my mom. Sorry, I’ll let you know in a bit.

Yoongi-hyung: You’re good, lemme know if you can then.

Jimin was grateful yoongi didn't say anything about having to ask his mom, a lot of people act like he’s lost his mind when he says that. 

Eventually Jimin does have to leave the sanctity of the bathroom and return to doing actual work. 

The last 2 hours thankfully flew by, his mom even gave him permission to go out and eat. Jimin probably wouldn’t admit it outloud but he was really excited to meet up with Yoongi again. 

The elder said he would pick him up from the school and drop him off there when they parted, something about saving gas, not that Jimin minded. It was nice to be the one driven around sometimes, instead of driving everyone else around. 

He takes a detour into one of the bathrooms while heading to the front of the school to meet Yoongi. He had a habit of messing up his hair when stressed and he didn’t want to look like a mess in front of the elder. He only heads out once he realizes that any further attempts to fix it, would probably make it worse.

Yoongi’s car wasn’t hard to find. It was the only one around, it was a simple black car and Jimin honestly wouldn’t be able to tell you anything more about it. He was too distracted by its driver rolling the window down and waving him over. 

“Almost thought you got lost for a minute.”

“S-sorry. I was finishing up some work.”

“I think you should apologize to your stomach more than to me.”  Yoongi’s chuckle is deep, Jimin’s not sure what feeling it’s stirring inside him but he doesn’t hate it. 

They end up going for Japanese style ramen. “Filling, satisfying, and cheap. All the checkmarks.”

“Hmmm, so hyung’s cheap?”

“Yah! You can pay for yourself if you want.”

“Nooo hyung. I take it back.” 

“Yeah yeah” If Jimin notices the gummy smile Yoongi has on his face he definitely doesn’t say anything, but he does save the image in his mind for his own benefit.

After they order Yoongi starts asking Jimin about his college experience, partially curious as to how they never crossed paths. “I think I would remember seeing someone as cute as you.” 

Jimin doesn’t get how the elder can say things like that without batting an eyelash. He’s sure he’s as red a tomato. “I was on the dance team so when I wasn’t in class I was working part time or practicing.” 

“Maybe that’s why my friend kept trying to get me to come see the team perform. He used to talk about someone they had nicknamed mochi being beautiful on stage.”

“I don’t know about beautiful but that was my nickname.”

“hm I’m pretty sure that’s what they said. I’ll have to confirm the dancing with my own eyes soon though.”

Jimin smiles as their steaming bowls are set down in front of them “ I think we can arrange that.” 

Jimin doesn’t know how in just a couple of days the two of them had gotten to the point of having such good natured banter. It had taken him time to get here, with even Taehyung but with Yoongi it just felt easy after their first meeting.

That night wouldn’t be the first Jimin and Yoongi met. It had become an unspoken agreement to meet at least twice a week. Sometimes for food, sometimes to go to a movie, sometimes just to hang out. It had been a needed deviation from what had become the routine of his adult life, it felt like he was actually living when he was with the elder. Instead of trying to follow someone else’s plan. 

There was one day, where Jimin had managed to book the dance studio where he teaches during holidays so that he could start on preparing for his next set of classes. He had told Yoongi he couldn’t hang out, so the elder showed up at the studio. 

“I wanted to watch you dance.” 

“I’m just going to be testing some things, it won’t be anything special.”

Yoongi just shrugged “Show me what you got.”

And Jimin did. It had been so long since he had someone to dance for, someone he wanted to impress and show off for. He loves teaching kids, but there’s no challenge, no high level moves, no variety. It has to be simple enough for the kids to do but still look good to make parents happy. 

Jimin found himself pushing himself the way he used to for his dance team in college, feeling the moves, having fun with his dance. It had been so long and until this very moment Jimin hadn’t even noticed how much his passion for dance had been slipping away from him until this moment. Because now he’s doing moves he hasn’t done in over a year, he’s trying to be sexy, trying to be enticing, trying to be seen by the man watching him. He felt free.

“Wow. That was- wow”

Another unexpected moment was the first time Yoongi met his mother. It’s not like Jimin had intentionally tried to keep them from meeting, but his mother had a tendency to be judgemental about well everyone and everything she can. If Jimin tries to correct her it usually turns into an argument. So he might have been pushing off the meeting. 

It happened by chance in the end. They were at the grocery store when they ran into Yoongi. 

“Jimin!” 

“Ah hyung, what are you doing here?”

“It’s Sana’s birthday tomorrow, I promised my sister-in-law I would get the cake and snacks.”

“Oh! Tell her I said Happy birthday.” Jimin had seen enough pictures of Yoongi’s young niece to know that the man absolutely adored her.

“Why don’t you stop by? Ever since I told her about your dancing she’s been wanting to meet you.” Jimin was surprised that a three year old would be excited to meet him but he can’t say it didn’t make him a little bit happy.

“Jimin-ah? Who’s this.” Oh. right. 

“Eomma, this is Min Yoongi. Min-ssi’s son I told you about?”

“Right the one you’ve been spending time with. Nice to meet you.” 

Yoongi bows and greets his mother properly “Nice to meet you as well.” 

“Are you getting things for your mother?”

“Ah no, just some things for my niece’s birthday.”

“How old is she?”

“She’ll be four soon.”

The conversation continues, with Jimin’s mother not so subtly interrogating his friend, until they finally need to get back to their own tasks. 

“He seems nice.” His mother says on their way home. “What does he do?”

“He’s getting his masters in music production right now?” Jimin inwardly cringes as he drives, he knows what the response is going to be.

“Can he afford something like that? His family can’t be making that much with the little stand.”

“The farm has contracts with supermarkets and such, the stand is something his mother does for fun.”

“I see. It must be nice, his brother is there to take care of his parents so he must be free to do whatever he chooses.” Jimin’s not quite sure how to react to that so he stays quiet. “When you’re ready to start your masters I trust you’ll choose something practical. Maybe you can move up to teaching at the university, it’s better money after all.” 

Jimin was really trying not to slam his head into the steering wheel. He was envious of Yoongi who received little to no pushback on his choice of career. From what he knew his elder brother was also pushed to do whatever he wanted, it had been his choice to help his father with the farm but he also had a culinary degree and was considering opening his own restaurant in their small town. Instead he was here hearing a lecture about a future career he wasn’t sure he wanted.

After they got home and the lecture had finally stopped, Jimin snuck off to his room to text Yoongi and apologize. 

Jimin: Sorry about that

Yoongi: It’s okay. She cares about you, I get it. Are you going to be able to come tomorrow? 

Jimin: I’ve got some errands to run but I can try

Jimin does make it to the party. He meets the rest of Yoongi’s family, aside from his mother who he already knew. They all get along so well. It’s not like he and his mother don’t, he would say both homes are about the same in terms of liveliness on good days, but the feeling is definitely different. 

Jimin finds himself getting along well with all of them, he even shows Sana some simple dances at her insistence. The little girl's mother already seems excited to enroll her in classes. The parts are simple, cake, presents, and a home cooked meal. Yoongi’s brother is an amazing cook, so much so that Jimin promises to be one of the first customers when he opens his restaurant. Something he finds out, once Sana goes to bed, is that the family is very open about everything. They talk about likes and dislikes, opinions, goals and dreams. There’s no judgment or lectures or arguments. It’s as casual as breathing. There’s beer yeah, but that doesn’t seem to make all that much of a difference. It’s so easy that Jimin finds even himself opening up a little bit, even though he’s always been told by his mother not to talk too much about things like his goals and such. 

Yoongi’s elder brother packs food for Jimin to take home to his mother “There’s plenty left, bring her with you next time.”. He wonders if his mother would want to come. Most of his mother's friends live far away, she mostly keeps in contact with them through phone contact. He’s just not sure if she would like making more friends. 

After Yoongi’s mother has shown him as many of Yoongi’s baby photos as she can find, all of which Jimin finds adorable, the elder invites him up to his room. He had promised to finally show Jimin some of his music. 

He plays Jimin a track he’s working on for a personal project, a mixtape. A song called First love. It’s after that, Jimin breaks down. It had been building for a while, it’s not the first time he’s cried about this topic. Seeing the passion in Yoongi’s music, his love for what he does, all of it hits Jimin somewhere he keeps trying to close off and failing. 

Yoongi holds him while he cries, listens to him while he talks about it. How he hates that his life revolves entirely around his mother but at the same time he can’t change anything about it. Yoongi listens, but like everyone else Jimin has spoken to, he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand why Jimin can’t just say no, why he can’t walk away. 

Jimin tries to explain, but he knows it’s useless. A lot of people just don’t understand. His loyalty and love run too deep. He would feel crushing guilt if he left his mom alone, he would hate himself if he left her alone. She needs him, he needs her. He knows he wouldn’t be able to function on his own; they rely too much on her. His mother doesn’t treat him badly, she loves him. She wants what's best for him, she wants him to live a better life than she did, without having to work multiple jobs and struggle for money, and she wants him to give that to her. It’s because he understands her motives that he can’t just walk away. 

Once Jimin has cried it all out and calmed himself down, he tell’s Yoongi not to worry about it. That it’ something he’s learned to live with. That this was just how his life is, he knows that. It’s just how it’s always going to be.

Yoongi doesn’t want to drop it, but he does for Jimin’s sake. Jimin goes home as he always would, as if he had never cried in the first place. 

His and Yoongi’s relationship stays the same as well, though sometimes it feels like the elder walks on eggshells around him when it comes to talking about family. It takes a sit down and an hour long conversation for Jimin to get it through Yoongi’s head that he doesn’t want that. He loves Yoongi’s family, he loves his family. They’re different and that's okay.

The next big engagement that Jimin gets to go to is Yoongi's graduation. He didn’t expect the elder to invite him, but he insisted Jimin joined him and his family. That it was important to him that Jimin be there. His mother told him it was fine if he went, that maybe he would be able to make some connections with some professors in the masters programs so he could help his chances of getting in. Jimin didn’t want to, he just wanted to be there for his friend. He’s so proud of Yoongi.

By this point Jimin already knows he’s falling for Yoongi. The elder is caring and kind and funny and passionate. He’s everything that Jimin loves, but he needs to make sure that he defines it in his head. Yoongi is a friend. That’s it. That’s all it will be. He can’t get his hopes up.

The night of Yoongi’s graduation is probably the most fun he’s had in years. The elder ends up playing his music for everyone. At some point Taehyung joins the small party, Yoongi invites him. They drink a little, they dance, they celebrate. Jimin may have also kissed Yoongi on the cheek but if anyone asked him he would just say he doesn’t remember. (He really didn’t have that much to drink but he was slightly high on all the energy and excitement.) Yoongihowever does remember that moment, and even though he didn’t react at the time from shock, would tell you is was 5 seconds that made the entire hell that was grad school worth it.

After that night it’s a while before he sees Yoongi again. Not for any particular reason, the elder was busy with job interviews, some took him out of town for a couple days. They still text, Yoongi sends him photos of Seoul, what he eats and what he does in between interviews. 

It’s probably a month later when they get to see each other in person again. They go out to eat as usual Yoongi talks about his trip and Jimin about the dance class he’s teaching right now. They take a walk after, Yoongi wanting to take in the fresh air for a bit and Jimin just wanting to spend more time with him. They don’t talk too much this time, it seems like Yoongi has something on his mind and Jimin knows better than to push him too much.

“Jimin-ah.”

“Hmm” Jimin looks up from the wet sidewalk 

“What do you think about Seoul?”

“I don’t know. I mean I’ve gone to visit family but I didn’t spend very long there.” 

“Right.”

“How come?”

“Just-” Yoongi pauses as if trying to come up with the right word. Jimin finds it kind of funny, normally he’s the one having trouble finding his words, Yoongi always knows what to say. “Wondering I guess.”

They stay silent a little while longer

“Hey Jimin?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you- do you like someone?” There’s a sharp intake of breath after Yoongi asks his question but he tries not to overthink it.

“I -what?” 

Yoongi shrugs “Taehyung mentioned something about you the other day when I ran into him, I was just wondering. I thought we were close enough to share these kinds of things by now.”

“We are. It’s just-” Jimin takes a second to figure out how to say it “I’m not really the type to pursue anyone I have interest in.”

“How come? I’m sure they would feel the same way about you.”

“It’s not really that. You already know how I feel about my future. I guess I don’t really want to subject anyone else to it.”

“How do you know that person can’t help you change it?”

It gets quiet again, Yoongi already knows the answer to that, he just wanted to see if there was any change.

The next time Yoongi texts him to meet up it’s a week later, he says he’s got news and wants to meet at the park.

Jimin has to finish making dinner before he goes, he promises his mom he’ll be back soon but she can eat in the meantime. He knows she probably won't eat till he gets back though.

When he gets to the park Yoongi is sitting on one of the benches near the fountain in the center.

“Hey Hyung!” He calls as he picks up his pace to meet the elder.

The elder’s expression when he turns around is a mix. There’s excitement, there’s also fear. Jimin’s heart squeezes a little at the second one. 

“I got it!” is the first thing out of Yoongi’s mouth when Jimin gets to him.

“You-wha?” Jimin’s still a little breathless from the walk 

“The job in Seoul! The one at that big company!” Yoongi looks so excited, so happy. Meanwhile Jimin’s heart is rapidly growing a crack down the center. 

Still he puts a smile on his face “I’m so happy for you!” He jumps up and down a little on the balls of his feet. It’s true, he is happy for Yoongi, this is exactly what the elder had hoped for. It’s just that Jimin now knows that he has to let Yoongi go, and fuck does it hurt. Jimin knows it’s selfish to want the elder to stay with him, but he doesn’t want to lose him either.

Yoongi’s still chattering happily about the details of the job, Jimin’s sure this is the most excited he’s ever seen his hyung. 

“Come with me” Yoongi can’t possibly be telling him to go to Seoul

“Come- where?” 

“To Seoul. Jimin come with me.” The look in Yoongi’s eye was so serious, Jimin almost wanted to say yes. He couldn’t though. He has his mother to think about, his job, his life. He can’t just pick up and leave off to Seoul. Life doesn’t work that way.

It comes out choked “ I- I can’t” 

“Why not? Jimin you said it yourself, you hate it here!” Yoongi’s voice sounds almost desperate. After all these months he still doesn’t understand.

“I can’t hyung. No matter how much I would love to.” Jimin was trying really hard not to get angry. 

“Why Jimin? Your mother can take care of herself. Just once in your life do something for yourself!” Yoongi’s voice was rising at this point. 

“I can’t just leave her! You have a lot of family you don’t get. She’s all I have!” He’s screaming now he knows it.

“Then what about me?”

“What?”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me as much as I love you.” Jimin’s blood goes cold. Yoongi’s standing directly in front of him, looking him in the eyes daring him to say something else.

“Of course I fucking love you, I have for months. I didn’t tell you for this reason! You were going to want this and I won't be the one to hold you back. I’m not leaving!”

Yoongi’s face is a mix between stunned and angry now. Part of Jimin would do almost anything to bring back that excitement from a few minutes ago. 

“Fine.” Yoongi takes a step back “Fine then. Have it your way.” 

And then he’s gone.

Jimin walks back to his car slowly. He can’t remember if he started crying before the fight or after. He wiped his tears and went home.  He has dinner with his mom like he promised, though it’s a bit of a force to actually eat any of it and to keep it down.

He texts Tae about everything when he gets back to his room, as he thought, his friend agrees with Yoongi. Then he goes to bed. In the morning he gets up, makes breakfast, does the laundry, and helps his mother. Just as he always has, just as he always will.

He and Yoongi don’t speak after that. There’s a goodbye party and he gets the e-invite, but he doesn’t go. Taehyung tells him about it later. 

A few months later, Taehyung also gets a job in Seoul and leaves. 

Jimin's life becomes even more lonely than it was before Yoongi came into it. 

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, because now all Jimin has is his mother, just like he said he would.

He starts feeling like a zombie mindlessly going through the motions of what has to be done only to return to his room, sleep, and do it all over again the next morning.

He teaches, spends time with his mother, does what she asks, sometimes he video chats Tae. Dancing isn’t as much fun anymore, he still does it because it’s a good work out and good money but his heart is not in it the way it used to be. What’s the point of moving when no one is there to watch?

The days bleed together. 

Once in a while Taehyung or Yoongi’s mother will give him updates on the elder. His career is going well, he’s getting ready to release that mixtape he was working on. He’s okay, and honestly Jimin doesn’t know if he’s happy about that or not. 

Sometimes his mother talks about setting him up with people, but Jimin just brushes her off. These days the idea of having a family is less and less appealing. He’s not sure if he wants to spend the rest of his life taking care of other people, no matter how much he loves kids.

And so life goes on.

Jimin’s smile is more and more forced. The night Yoongi’s mixtape is released he spends the whole night listening to it. He cries himself to sleep that night, gets up the next morning and keeps going. It had been the first time he heard Yoongi’s voice in so long, he didn’t realize how much he missed it until that moment.

When First Love comes on he thinks about the time he broke down in Yoongi’s room. The fact that the elder had stayed by him, comforted him when most would just walk away. That had been the first night Jimin had realized he was falling for the elder.

He regrets it, not saying yes to going with Yoongi. He regrets it every day but he doesn’t know how he could have gone. Even now he sees no solution. It’s better this way, Yoongi is happy, his mother is happy. He doesn’t have to be.

Yoongi was home. At least, that's what Taehyung told him. He had come home to see his family over the Lunar New Year. Jimin wasn’t really sure if he wanted to run into him or not. It would probably be better to avoid him.

That plan failed the second day of Yoongi’s trip. The teacher came home from running errands to see Yoongi, hair now dyed a striking blonde, waiting in front of his gate.

He has half a mind to turn around but he knows he can’t. He’s got ice cream that needs to get in the freezer. Plus he’s sure that Yoongi’s already seen his car.

Jimin’s not sure what to say, thankfully he doesn’t have to. As soon as Jimin puts his hand on the gate to open in Yoongi speaks up.

“Can we talk?”

Jimin does his best to keep his expression neutral, inside his heart leaps. It’s been so long.

“Let me put this inside before it melts.” He raises the white plastic bag in his hand.

The elder nods and steps back a little, giving him a little more space. Jimin can tell, Yoongi is worried he won’t come back. 

In truth Jimin doesn’t think his heart would let him stay away, not when Yoongi is so close.

It’s only a couple minutes before he’s walking out to meet the other again. It’s a little chilly so he pulls his coat around him a little tighter.

“Wanna take a walk?” Yoongi suggests it, Jimin kind of wants to laugh because Yoongi generally doesn’t like walking without a purpose. 

Jimin just nods. He doesn’t trust his voice right now.

Again Yoongi is the first to speak “I’m sorry.”

“I-” but the elder shakes his head

“Please, please let me finish.” Jimin just nods again. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t understand the position I put you in. That I disregarded your feelings. I think that after being away from my family for a while, I understand a little. I shouldn’t have tried to force you away from your family.” Yoongi’s trying to look into his eyes, but Jimin thinks it’s best if he says his peace first. 

“Thank you.” There’s a pause while he organizes his thoughts “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have gotten angry. I should have been honest about my feelings way before that. I should have told you how I felt about you, and why I wasn’t acting on them. I just, I don’t know, I wanted to enjoy your company as long as I could have it.” It’s only after that, he can pick his head up and look into Yoongi’s eyes. What he sees isn’t what he expects.

Love. There’s still love in Yoongi’s eyes and he’s not sure what to make of it, he lets his eyes drift down to the sidewalk again.

“Now that that’s out of the way. How’s Seoul?” Jimin’s hoping to distract Yoongi. He’s not sure where this conversation is leading just yet and if it goes bad again, he wanted to at least know that he had an actual conversation with the man before breaking away again.

Yoongi hums “I’m sure you already know. I know Taehyung and my mom keep you updated.”

Jimin lifts his head to speak up but Yoongi beats him too it “They tell me about you too you know. They’re worried about you.”

“I’m doing okay. Nothing’s changed.” 

“That’s not true. The Jimin I know didn’t like to go a day without a real smile. No matter how bad the day was.”

Jimin stays silent

“You’re not happy Jimin.”

“I can’t change that.” His voice is small again, he doesn’t want another argument.

“You can’t.” Yoongi acknowledges “But I can.” He stops walking and turns to face Jimin. “ Tell me to stay.”  

Jimin stands there for a second, he just searches Yoongi’s eyes because he can’t actually be serious? Leave his career and his dream just for Jimin?

“I can’t do that Yoongi.”

“Why not. I am telling you that if you want me here I will stay.”

“Because I will not be the person who ruins your life.”

“It wouldn’t-” Jimin cuts him off by breaking eye contact. 

“I would never be able to live with myself if I knew I was keeping you from your full potential. This is exactly why I never told you about my feelings in the first place.”

Yoongi grabs his arm “That’s not just your decision to make.”

“It’s not, but it’s my decision on choosing to live with that. I won’t live with that guilt.”

The elder huffs out a breath “Then what do we do Jimin? I don’t want to lose you either, I don’t want you to lose yourself.”

“You don’t have to worry about me hyung.” It’s the first time he’s called Yoongi hyung since that night. He’s not sure why that suddenly makes this all the more real.

“How can I not when the person I love won’t worry about himself?” 

They walk a little more in silence, before finally coming to a low wall they could sit on.

“What about long distance?” the elder suggest

“That only works when you have a plan to come back together.”

“Right. Well now would probably be the time to tell you, you have a job offer in Seoul.” 

“I- what?”

“Tae and I showed our friend Hoseok your dance videos. He wants you to help teach his more advanced contemporary classes. He’s based in hip hop so those classes are a little harder for him to teach but you have an understanding of both. They often choreograph for idols too so he thinks you could be a great help. Pays well too.”

Jimin raises a brow “How well?”

Yoongi snorts “Better than both your jobs combined. There’s a high demand for idols right now, so a high demand for choreographers and backup dancers. I produce for a few of the groups too.”

Jimin nods “I don’t know. I never looked into those possibilities, since I didn’t think it was reasonable.”

“You can take your time to respond, but you should know your mom already knows about it.”

Jimin almost chokes on air “What?”

“She saw me standing outside before you got there and asked what I was doing. I had to tell her something?” Yoongi looks a little sheepish but not at all apologetic. Jimin wouldn’t put it past the elder to have shown up early on his own with the intention of telling her.

“Did- Did she say anything?”

“She seemed surprised. Like she didn’t think you were that good.”

Jimin let out a small laugh “It’s been awhile since she’s seen me dance. She’s pretty judgmental so she doesn’t watch me to avoid judging.”

“That makes no sense. Rather than change her mindset, she avoids supporting her son?”

Jimin shrugs “I don’t mind. It just means it’s a part of my life she’s not in. My little piece of freedom”

Somehow the conversation changes after that. It feels almost like it used to, talking about what they’ve been up too. Jimin talks about some of the students he’s gotten this year. Yoongi tells him all about his friend group in the city, Jimin’s learned all about them from Taehyung but Yoongi’s smile when he talks about Namjoon being clumsy or Jungkook getting him to treat him to food all the time is nice. 

Eventually Yoongi tells him that no matter how much he loves his people in Seoul, a part of him misses his family dearly. When Jimin asks about himself, if Yoongi missed him, the older simply says that there's no one in the world that could match Jimin’s presence in his life. It took being away from him for Yoongi to realize that. 

Yoongi walks him back home that night, kisses him on the cheek the way Jimin had at his graduation all those months ago. Jimin leaves him with a promise to at least think about his options from here, because Yoongi doesn’t want to lose him again and Jimin feels the same.

Jimin walks back into his home with the biggest smile on his face, he doesn’t think he’s been able to smile this much since before Yoongi left. 

His mother is waiting for him at the kitchen table when he walks in.

“You love him don’t you?” The tone in her voice doesn’t sound angry like Jimin thought it would. It actually sounds sad.

“I do.” Is all he can bring himself to say as he sits across from her.

“Would you want to take the dance job?” 

“I would have to do a phone interview, maybe go for an in person audition so that I could be confirmed by all the partners but the owner asked for me by name.” Jimin pauses and thinks about it “I think that I would want to do it. I miss dancing with challenges. I love the kids but I don’t think I’m living up to my potential here.” He chooses his words carefully.

“Why didn’t you say anything before?”

“I don’t want to leave you. You're my Eomma, I couldn’t live with myself. I wasn’t able to be there for you.”

His mother looked down at the table and thought “What if we moved together?” 

“What? I thought you didn’t want to move.” They had talked about it before, but had come to the decision that they liked their life here and Seoul was just too expensive.

“I’ve been thinking about it more lately. Most of my family lives there, it might be easier on all of us to be around people we can interact with. I could move in with your aunt, you could move in with Yoongi.”

“Are you sure you want that?”

She hummed “ I think I do. Of course this doesn’t mean you can escape my eye but you need to make your own life in this world. I shouldn’t be stopping you.”

“You- You're not angry?”

“Not at you. I’m angry at myself. That I’ve become someone you didn’t think you could come to anymore. You didn’t tell me that you had fallen in love or that you had fought with Yoongi-ah. I knew you weren’t happy, but you didn’t come to me. I’m angry that I wasn’t there for you as my son the way you are for me as your mother.”

“It’s okay. We tried. I do love you, I just didn’t know how to tell you I wasn’t happy.”

She cups his face with her hand the way she used to when he was young. “I know. Now all we can do is move forward.”

Jimin hadn’t realized he was tearing up until his mother wiped away one of his tears. 

“So are we doing this?”

“If that’s what you want chick, yeah we are.”

That night Jimin texts Yoongi to ask for Hoseok’s number. From there everything is a whirlwind of change. While Yoongi is home they go on a few dates. Then he goes back to Seoul with the elder for a few days for his auditions. He gets his first look at what it would be like to live with this now boyfriend. 

He gets the job with no problem and from there the next two months are a mess of quitting his current job, packing, planning and moving. 

It’s terrifying but his mother and Yoongi are there for him every step of the way. It’s only on the night that he and Yoongi have finished unpacking his stuff into Yoongi’s small apartment and are sitting down to talk with a glass of wine that everything catches up to him.

He never thought this scenario would be possible. That he would be living in a big city with the love of his life about to start what he could only describe as a dream job. 

For once getting up in the morning didn’t feel like a chore. Now he had plans to meet up with Yoongi and Taehyung’s friends. Yoongi talked about taking him to Lotte World and out to explore the city. Jimin was experiencing travel, adventure, and love in a way he had never dreamed of. 

He was happy and hopeful, and it was all thanks to a trip to the fruit stand.