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‘Uncle Dan! Are you going to come over for dinner?’ Abra’s voice lit up in his head.
“Is this your mother asking, or you asking?” Dan asked out loud, though he knew she could hear him anyway. “I don’t want this to be a repeat of last time.”
‘Come on, it wasn’t that bad,’ Abra half whined in his head. Dan shook his head and stood up. He walked over to his chalk wall and grabbed up the chalk. He started to write his message.
“I’m busy anyway today. It’s my day off,” he said. But that wasn’t why he was busy. It was the first time in months that his day off and Billy’s lined up on the same day.
‘Adults are so boring,’ Abra pouted, which made Dan smile.
He pointed his chalk to the message he’d just finished “School” with a smiley face. “Don’t be late,” Dan said.
He set his chalk down and went to grab his sweater, which he pulled on over his head. He bent over his dresser, peering into his mirror. He straightened his hair, his mind on trying to look good, while trying not to think why he wanted to look good.
“You know, I’m not altogether certain why you bother to get so well dressed for your day off, Dan-o,” Billy said, his voice behind Dan. Dan straightened up, and turned to find Billy leaning against the door. He still had his undershirt on. He preferred to sleep in black or dark colored tank tops that showed off his arms and tattoos, the same things he mostly kept covered outside of the boarding house.
Dan grinned. “I assumed you would want to go out.”
“I don’t mind it, but I feel like I’ve barely gotten to see you this month,” Billy said. “Stolen kisses between shifts is hardly enough.”
Dan felt his face heat up. He considered crossing the distance between them, but he didn’t even have time to finish that thought before Billy had his arms around him. Dan found himself half braced against his boyfriend, caught off guard by the intense look in his eyes.
“You look so soft today,” Billy murmured. Dan couldn’t tear his eyes away from Billy’s gaze. Billy’s eye were such a lovely brown and he had lovely eyelashes and honestly the look Billy was giving him held so much emotion that Dan found it overwhelming.
“I wanted to look nice for you,” Dan murmured, barely getting out words that made sense under the heat he was feeling.
“You always look nice.” Billy’s words were thrumming through his heart. Dan pressed himself a little more against Billy’s chest, moving the rest of the way so he could give his boyfriend the type of gentle kisses he preferred most.
As soft and lovely as the kiss was, both of them broke it very quickly. There was something like a squeak in both their minds, which drove them apart. Dan turned to look at the chalk wall. He blinked dumbly for a moment and then laughed.
“I guess that’s what she gets for spying on adults,” Dan said. On the wall were now the phrases “Eww!” and “Get a Room!” Abra was also completely gone.
Billy laughed too. His hands went back around Dan’s middle, tugging him back against his body. Dan’s face warmed up again. He loved Billy’s body, his muscles from the work he did every day, the way some of his skin was beginning to get a little soft with age. They had earned their wrinkles and their scars and had come out alive. He was proud of them for that, and extremely grateful that Billy had chosen him.
“I love you, Dan,” Billy said, warming Dan to his core.
“I love you too, Billy,” Dan said, a smile on his face.
“You smile a lot more than you used to,” Billy said.
“I have you to thank for that,” Dan reminded him. “It’s easier to smile when your boyfriend is with you.”
“Yeah, as much as I would like to take all the credit, I know I can’t. You’re not carrying that same weight anymore.” Billy’s hands were resting just above his hip. Dan’s brain hardly wanted to think about anything else, but his words were so sincere that Dan tried to give him his full attention.
“Literally facing the ghosts of your past will do that,” Dan joked weakly.
“Well, not inherently. But there isn’t the weight of secrets anymore… and I feel like that with everything you’ve done and how brave you are-”
“Not that brave,” Dan murmured, feeling more embarrassed than he wanted to admit.
“Yes, brave. You literally went back to the place you were most afraid of. I heard from Abra that the memory library in your head is that place. It changed everything about who you are and how you think of yourself. And you walked back into all of it to rescue a kid you didn’t know that well.”
“She is like me. You are too.”
“A little” Billy said. “But still, you didn’t have to. It’s the choices you make and have made. It’s made me realize something important.”
“Billy, you literally saved my life. You don’t have to make me sound so impressive.”
“You know that isn’t how it works. I gave you an opportunity and you took it. But don’t interrupt me. I have something important I want to say.”
Dan nodded. “I’m listening,” he said.
“Good. Because I have been looking at getting a house,” Billy said. For a moment, Dan’s heart dropped into his stomach. Billy wouldn’t just be down the hall anymore? But no, this was better, it meant that they might tactually have a bed they could easily fit into.
“When are you moving?” Dan asked, his voice thinner than her wished.
“That depends,” Billy said.
“On what?” Dan asked.
“I have a place in mind. I want you to see it,” Billy said.
“It will be your house, Billy. As long as you like it, it should be fine.” Dan was trying to keep his tone light, but he didn’t know how well he was managing. He already didn’t see Billy enough. And they had to sneak around as it was.
“I want it to be your house too,” Billy said, something a little desperate tinging in his voice. “I’m botching this. I want us to move in together. I want us to buy a house together.”
Dan almost pulled back, but Billy’s hands on his hips kept him steady. Dan realized he could feel Billy heart beating in his chest, pounding with nerves. Their noses were touching. Billy was looking right in his eyes.
“You want me to buy a house with you?” Dan asked slowly.
“I want to live with you. I want to spend my life with you. I don’t just want to be down the hall from you. I want to live in the same room, in the same bed.”
“But you aren’t out,” Dan protested quietly. He had been more than willing to take it at Billy’s pace, but Billy had been worried about it from the start. Dan got the sense that Billy had boyfriends who had cared very much.
“I faced ghosts with you. I’ve gone across the country multiple times now. I’ve found dead bodies. I’ve killed monsters. I’ve nearly died. I’m still scared, but more than anything I want a life with you. I want to share a home with you.”
Dan slipped his arm around Billy’s neck so it rested on his shoulder. “I love you, Billy. I want that with you too. I want a life with you.”
Billy drew him back into a kiss. It didn’t last long, but it really did satisfy Dan’s soul. Billy was the only person who gave him that warmth. When the kiss broke, Dan knew he was grinning.
“So, can I see this place you’re looking at?”
“Yes, let me grab my shirt and we can go.”
“If it wasn’t so cold outside, I’d tell you to leave the shirt off,” Dan said, letting Billy go. Billy caught him for another quick kiss and then stepped back.
“Maybe someday,” Billy said. That warmed Dan’s heart. He didn’t want Billy to be ashamed or afraid of anything anymore.
“We’re going to have a house,” Dan said, suddenly a little giddy.
“Yes, we are,” Billy said, so much meaning flooding his words. He met Dan’s gaze for a happy moment before heading for the door. “Let me grab my shirt, I’ll be right back.”
“Let me get my wallet and jacket and I’ll come over,” Dan said, shooing Billy out. That light, silly, happy feeling wouldn’t seem to go away, and Dan didn’t want to. Every step felt easier than it had felt in years.
When Dan first came to Frazier, New Hampshire, Billy had offered him a chance at a new life. Now, nearly nine years later, Billy was offering him the same thing again. Honestly, Dan wouldn’t turn that down for the whole world.
