Work Text:
My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in
Allie Pressman hated New York.
She didn't know where she was with her head when she thought that living in that city was a good idea. Maybe it was because of the status, the movie scenes, or maybe she was just looking for anywhere to get away from West Ham. Her hometown was no unbearable hell, but Allie was already fed up with the same people, the same routine and her same reputation as "Cassandra's sister."
So when the acceptance letter from Columbia University arrived at her door, Allie didn't think twice about leaving. Her friends were also leaving the city on their own. Of course, she would miss her parents, but they would only be 3 hours away and Cassandra would also be around. Cassandra had left for Yale a year before Allie left the house, but it was as if her shadow was always around. And that was one of the main reasons for her departure.
When she arrived in New York, everything looked like a dream, a movie scene. But the honeymoon phase was short lived.
Now, six years after her arrival, Allie hated New York.
The first few years were cool, she could tell. College days were not bad; she went out and dated some assholes, but the experience wasn't all bad. She met some great people, like Lexie and Bean, and reunited and approached others, like Helena, which was a surprise, since they probably exchanged half a dozen words throughout all the time in high school.
They were on her side at her best and worst. Like when Allie was getting her diploma and they were applauding in the audience. Or when she was crying after her break up with Matt, because she hurt a really nice guy for feeling unhappy in the relationship. Also when Allie went through the biggest shame of her life seeing her boyfriend Isaac cheating on her in front of the whole fraternity party and she was the subject of jokes and laughter for months. Yeah, college kids can be real assholes
Anyway, Lexie, Bean and Helena have always been on her side for all this time. And Allie had been on their side. Her friends were some of the few things that kept her alive and strong throughout that time. Her friends and tea from the cafeteria next to her work.
And then college was over and Allie fell into the real world. She was now a journalist with a degree trying to find her place.
Another good thing about her time in New York was the job she got in a highly rated online newspaper. She had been so happy when she got the internship, still in college, but she was even more so when she was offered a permanent position as a columnist in the culture and entertainment sector.
In fact, another of the few essentials in Allie's life, apart from friends and tea, was writing. For a long time, she thought she had no talent until a literature teacher read one of her dissertations and said she had a vocation. And then she invested in it; and found out what she wanted to do for the rest of her life.
Life in New York was not torture or anything. But Allie began to feel overwhelmed by the city, as if in the past six years she had discovered nothing. And it didn't help that everything in this city was so frantic and ephemeral: people, traffic, relationships. For Allie, who grew up in a small suburb in the interior of Massachusetts, where everyone knew each other and everything was peaceful and serene, things in a big city got very difficult. Maybe, just maybe, she missed West Ham and the comfort there.
Right now, Allie is waiting for her usual order at the cafeteria next to her job, her ginger tea, while staring at her ex-boyfriend Peter's messages on her cell phone. They had broken up two months ago, when he decided to break up, but Allie was already so fed up with the relationship that she sighed with relief. Of course, she was saddened by the breakup, but the feeling of exhaustion stood out over everyone else. However, for a week he has been sending messages asking to talk and get back together and she is tired of denying and making excuses.
When the attendant finally delivers her order, she thanks and turns to leave, but not before bumping into someone next to her.
Her tea would almost have been dropped on the floor if the person she had bumped into had not helped to hold the cup. Allie, looking down, was mortified with embarrassment and after murmuring an apology, she hears something unexpected:
- Tea? I always thought you were more of a caffeine fan, Pressman.
Shit
Allie looks up at the person in front of her and is surprised to face Harry Bingham.
Harry and Allie were never friends. Of course they knew each other, after all they grew up in West Ham, but he always had that stupid rivalry with Cassandra, so she didn't think it was worth the effort to know more about him. They had some classes together and did some plays in the theater club together, but there wasn’t enough interaction for her to know more about Harry.
And suddenly he was in front of her, looking at her with a smile. Allie wondered how he remembered her. She was already so used to the reputation of "Cassandra's sister" that it was always unexpected when someone remembered her apart from her sister.
- Harry? How much time. What are you doing around here? - she murmured, still confused.
- I could say the same thing. I live here. - he replied with a transparent smile.
Allie was not close to Harry, but she remembered that he left the city at the same time as Cassandra, to go to college at Harvard. She still did not understand the presence of the figure in front of her, but it was a good surprise.
- I didn't know you were around. I thought you were in Boston.
- After seven excruciating years studying law in Boston, I thought it would be cool to change the environment - he replied.
Another thing that Allie hated about New York: after years of living in a city full of small talk, she still didn't know how to make small talk. But she was doing her best.
- I hope you're enjoying the city. So you mean Harry Bingham is a lawyer now?
- Finally, I would say. I got a job at a law firm two blocks from here not long ago. But the question remains: what do you, Allie Pressman, do in New York? - he asked her with a different smile on his face.
- I came to do journalism at Columbia and have lived here for six years. I'm working on a newspaper in the next building.
She hoped that she was doing a good job with the small talk, because Harry seemed genuinely interested in seeing her again. But Allie looked at her watch and realized that there were only a few minutes to go to work.
- So... I need to go to work. - she said with embarrassment
- Oh, sure. I also need to hurry up. It was great to meet you again
- I say the same
- I hope to see you around, Pressman.
Finally, Allie turned to walk to the door with a smile on her face. A smile that followed her all the way to her desk at the office.
Another surprise that Allie had that day, when she got home after work, was seeing a friend request from Harry on her Instagram. She accepted and smiled again when she saw a new message appearing on her conversation tab.
Here's the funny part:
Allie, at no point in her life, thought she would be close to Harry Bingham. Never
And here she is, a year and a half after the little small talk meeting at the cafeteria, walking with difficulty behind Harry, who is steps ahead of her. It's six in the morning and Allie is dying of sleep, but he convinced her to wake up at dawn to come to Battery Park to watch the sunrise at a time that anyone with good sense would be sleeping. And she decided to come.
She can't quite reassemble when, after the reunion, she and Harry became close.
Maybe it was when he followed her on Instagram and sent her a message. Or when they ran into the cafeteria again and he invited her to dinner at a new Japanese restaurant he discovered. Or when she invited him to watch a movie she needed to write an article about, but it was useless to take him because she couldn't pay attention to the film, only to Harry Bingham by her side. Or when, after the cinema, she went to his house and spent the night. Possibly it was when, after weeks of hanging out, Harry asked her if she wanted to make it serious, because he definitely did. And she smiled and said yes.
During that time, not everything was easy. Harry and she worked hard, but they always made time for each other. They also had to face Cassandra's distress when they told they were together. But some other things were easy: the way her friends hugged them from the beginning. Things with him seemed so simple and smooth, even at the speed of New York.
She liked how it was easy to fall for him. How he always tells her the truth, no matter what. How she can let her armor down, the same armor she spent years building to protect her from being hurt.
And then, a year and a half later, Allie Pressman is watching the sunrise with Harry Bingham, who has an arm around her. She rests her head on his shoulder and in that moment Allie is sure that something that had always been missing has finally fit.
She tried to pay attention to the fantastic sunrise in front of her, but she could only look at Harry beside her. The way he has a smile on his face as he faces the golden light of day in front of him and how he squeezes her wrist tenderly, as if he is reminding her (and himself) that they were there for each other
All that time before, it was like she was sleeping on a dark night of years and he had woken her out of the darkness. And now, Allie can only see the daylight. She may have made several mistakes in the past, just like him, but none of that mattered anymore, except the person next to her.
After Harry, things have never been the same. She realizes that it was not worth worrying about the things she was afraid of. She wants to be defined by the things she loves.
And she definitely loves Harry Bingham.
Allie once believed that love burned in shades of red. But she was wrong, because it is golden, like daylight.
You gotta step into the daylight and let it go