Chapter Text
transcript of a private Strife server from noon UTC on 14 May to noon UTC on 15 May
D: hey guys, I'm not making this decision lightly but I've decided to let Raymond move out. since I know there are a lot of us in this server who want him and are in various timezones, I'm going to give it 24 hours before I pick someone. since it's morning for me now, that'll let me pick the proper person to give him to while still being within the moving out time limit and also being fair to everyone.
D: so, give me your offers. no nmt, no resources, no bells, you can offer for Raymond anywhere with that. this is a private server so let's see some interesting offers.
Z: I WILL WATER YOUR HYRBIDS
Z: EVREY DAY FOR A WEEK
L: D you can't give him to Z, where will he fit between all the flowers? (laughing)
M: excuse me, I will need to conduct a home visit for everyone interested in him to make sure they're worthy of having Raymond on their island.
D: uhhhhh.
M: I don't have room for him otherwise you KNOW I would take him but he's my favourite villager ever and I need to make sure he's going to be happy where he goes.
Z: uhhhhhhhhh.
M: so if you're serious about offering for him, show me where he's going to live. I want to see where his house will be located, what kind of outdoor decorations you'll have for him
M: and I'll need to talk to his neighbours and make sure their personalities won't clash.
K: are you serious?
D: first of all Z we all know you'd do that for free
Z: lies and slander!
D: second of all M uhhh it's just Raymond.
M: just Raymond?
M: JUST Raymond??
L: uh-oh
M: Raymond is my comfort character!
M: I CANNOT allow him to go to an unworthy home. You guys just don't understand.
E: Anyways D in serious offers I will embroider your favorite character and mail it to you.
Z: I WILL WATER YOUR HYBRIDS EVERY DAY FOR TWO!!!! WEEKS.
V: I will write a ten-page essay about how I will set up his area, D?
D: I do not want to read that V plz
R: I will open up my island every day at 6pm sharp to allow you to visit him, D.
M: I don't think any of you are serious about this! Watering flowers? Essays? Visits? Embroidery?
D: I'll consider all these offers!
M: You can't! None of them are worthy!! Why don't you understand???
D: Actually I have a better idea.
D: Instead of considering all of these unworthy offers…
D: I'm just going to release him into the void. Not taking further comments!
M: IWEHTISDPIGWEPOGTHESIDGHAEPOHEIHTEAIHFS
M has left the server.