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“My bet’s on Iwaizumi.”
“Okay, if everyone bets on Iwaizumi it’s a little unfair don’t you think?”
“Guys, this seems like a really bad idea…” Asahi started. Kuroo and Makki ignored him.
“That’s because it’s just really fucking clear that Iwaizumi’s a top,” Kuroo continued.
“Nope,” Akaashi interjected, walking through the door.
“How was it, Akaashi?” Asahi asked fretfully. All of the professors sobered up quickly, feeling a bit responsible for the administrative issues that Akaashi had to sort through now.
“Honestly, the dean’s just particularly happy he can keep his funding on academics and sports. We raised more than enough money for our target extracurriculars. He’s not particularly fond of how we did it, but you know him.”
“He’s got a soft streak a mile wide for Oikawa, and he enjoys messing with him so as long as everyone is okay, he’s okay with us somehow sorting it out,” Makki explained to Yahaba and Kyoutani.
“So, Akaashi. Bets?” Kuroo diverted, changing the subject back to the current debate.
“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Akaashi asked coquettishly.
When everyone stared blankly at him, he continued.
“Oikawa-san. Oikawa-san by a mile.”
“Seriously?!” Yaku exclaimed.
“You guys don’t pay nearly enough attention,” Akaashi stated before turning back to his book, the subject matter apparently closed.
“Wait, where are they?” Mattsun finally asked.
“Being bombarded by students and questions. They’ll be here soon enough,” Bokuto said as he walked in, clutching multiple sets of canvas under his arm.
“So far, we’re at about 10:1 Iwaizumi. By the way, is Daichi dead?” Kuroo asked, directing the question at Asahi.
“Suga says he’s fine. Apparently he’s more worried that Iwaizumi will hunt all of us down in our sleep.”
“You know that’s a very real possibility…” Makki began.
“~Yahoo~. Makki, Mattsun.”
Oikawa’s saccharine voice filtered in from the door, and Makki and Mattsun stiffened considerably.
“Iwa-chan and I both know that this entire fucked-up ploy was probably your idea. Now I'm quite a nice person. I forgive, and I’ll forget,” Oikawa continued conversationally, though the rough edge in his voice became more and more apparent as he continued.
“Iwa-chan? Not so much.”
The professors were uncomfortably still in the silent room for a couple moments, before the battle roar of Iwaizumi-san erupted uncomfortably close to the lounge entrance.
“MAKKI, MATTSUN, YOU’RE BOTH DEAD!”
Makki and Mattsun turned and looked at each other in fear, before saluting the other professors and fleeing out the back door.
“Get back in here, right now.”
Iwaizumi very rarely took on his quiet authoritative tone outside of his classroom. It worked wonders on their friends, something he took great pride in. Between him and Sawamura, they managed to keep a pretty tightly-run ship.
The events of the past couple weeks were an anomaly.
Kind of.
Makki and Mattsun slunk back into the room, heads hung in defeat.
“So, what are we talking about?” Oikawa asked, turning his attention back to the group as Iwaizumi continued to glare at the disastrous duo.
“Iwaizumi tops, right?”
Oikawa choked on air, before turning red.
“See, Akaashi for the first time ever you might be wrong!”
“You guys all think Iwaizumi tops?” Oikawa demanded.
“Except for Akaashi,” Akaashi mumbled, referring to himself in the third person (for some reason).
“Kenma’s not involved,” Kenma muttered from the corner, also referring to himself in the third person.
At this exact moment in time, Sugawara knocked lightly at the entrance, holding two large bags of takeout. Daichi followed him inside, with dark glasses covering his eyes. Everyone dove for their preferred orders before they ran out, so by the time conversation restarted, everyone had taken a seat in a chair or on a table, takeout container in hand.
“Dai-chan, are you okay?” Oikawa asked after a long stretch of time where the only sounds in the room came from the professors gorging themselves on food. At this point, all fourteen of them were present.
“Yeah, I just have to wear these weird goggles to prevent anything else entering my eyes and to rest my eyes from strain. Luckily, it was a surface-level reaction. Koushi, you’re never allowed to put makeup on me again.”
“Sawamura, it’s really wonderful that you’re okay. But can we get back to the point?” Kuroo redirected.
“Which is?”
“I forgot you weren’t here, Suga. The 10,000 yen question is: who tops?”
Iwaizumi swore loudly before looking up to the ceiling.
“We’re all pretty sure it’s Iwaizumi. Akaashi thinks it’s Oikawa.”
Daichi turned red, and looked down at his lap, choosing not to dignify the discussion with his opinion. Suga, however, turned shrewd eyes upon Oikawa and Iwaizumi.
“Iwaizumi,” he finally decided, slightly unsure.
“Right? It makes no sense the other way,” Yaku commented.
“Why the hell not?” Oikawa demanded.
“‘Cause you’re like, bottom material,” Kuroo responded.
“More like the fact that Iwaizumi is clearly top material.”
“He’s my husband, you know. All of you need to stop,” Oikawa whined.
“But can we all just agree that Oikawa is power bottom at best ?”
Everyone nodded, except for Daichi and Kenma. Akaashi shook his head, and hummed his disagreement.
Oikawa had his eyes narrowed, his entire body stiff. Iwaizumi knew when trouble was about to arise, and he tried to head it off at the pass.
“You’re never going to find out, so I guess you’ll have to live in susp-”
“I fucking top, okay!” Oikawa exclaimed, cutting off Iwaizumi.
Half the professors went red, eyes wide, while the others laughed out loud.
“Ohoho…Fat fucking chance.” Kuroo intoned mockingly.
“Oikawa, seriously, shut up !” Iwaizumi implored.
“Half of you seem to not believe my ability to top and I do!”
Makki and Mattsun cocked their heads to the side, and their skepticism showed clearly on their faces.
“ They don’t need to know any of this! ”
“Iwa-chan is at best a power bottom, not me!”
Daichi choked out a quick “Yahaba, Kyoutani, follow me.” before fleeing the room entirely.
“I mean the slamming into a wall stuff, yeah he’s a brute. But when it comes down to it…”
“ Jesus, just stop talking! ”
Suga burst out laughing. Asahi was pale, and he chose to book it out of the room with some barely audible excuse as well.
“...when it comes down to it we all know who’s on top and it’s me.”
“Now, they know. Also, I want a divorce.”
Oikawa pouted, and went back to poking at his cold soba.
“We’re going to leave now, because the three of you-” Iwaizumi gestured at Kuroo, Makki, and Mattsun, “-are agents of chaos, and I’d like a nice remainder of my day with this asshole.”
The other professors waved and voiced various farewells as Oikawa and Iwaizumi left.
“We have learnt some really important things tonight,” Kuroo announced to no one in particular.
“On the contrary,” Akaashi declared, standing up. “We’ve only learnt one really important piece of information.”
He strode to the door, and looked back over his shoulder once.
“If you’re betting against me, you’re probably wrong.”
He left the lounge to a chorus of jeers and whoops, a small smile playing on his lips.