Work Text:
Oh, how Alexander dreamed so sweetly of the engineer. Luc haunted his unconscious realm like a ghost, popping up at the most inconvenient of times. Memories with his partner were rooted too deep into Caustic's brain to ever ignore them. As much as he tried, it always left him disgruntled and sour the next morning. It was always an awful realization to awake to, that Luc was still gone and would forever be gone.
He should have let go of him by now, but the images of Luc and the wistful moments they shared always pulled him back like a siren's call. They would inject into his dreams, the reality of his horrible situation and life overall crashing to a halt as Luc's voice would call him home. Blissful memories of the engineer were always met with Alexander's Pavlovian response, a full embrasure of reliving those times. Each scar left by Luc’s passing was atom-deep. Caustic knows welcoming such memories back to his consciousness would only hurt him again, but he would always gladly receive it. This was his personal fire to stick his arm into, elbow deep.
What was wrong with him? Caustic was stronger than this, how could it still pain him after all these years? It shouldn’t, he knows it shouldn’t, but the grief was still a slithering snake wound in between his ribs. It would always sink its teeth into his heart when he wasn’t looking.
Yet, the moments he gets to reenact, through the dreams of his own tempered mind, fill him with joy in those sweet instances. The fire would eventually pain him, but for now it could warm his cold heart, for he can pretend that Luc is alive.
One elbow supports the weight of his head, cradling his chin in his palm. His right hand, free to roam, finds itself on a thin hip, sliding to Luc's abdomen. His fingers curl on the other's side, pulling him close so their torsos made contact. Alexander presses a kiss to a warm cheek, smiling into his skin. Inhaling, he can smell the iron of the engineer, embedded deep in his hair. Spiny hands travel up his side, twisting into his beard. Luc pulls, meeting Alexander in a quiet kiss. He is warm and Alexander is safe next to him.
Luc pulls away, fingers untangling from his beard. He is whispering sweet nothings into Alexander’s ear- words his mind can’t put together but produce a warm feeling of love in his chest. The engineer gave him a huge smile, giving Alexander a moment to scan his face. It wasn’t marred by deterioration as it was in the weeks before Luc’s passing. His hands couldn’t hold a wrench without shaking and no matter the medical treatments it was an unavoidable death. Modern medicine had its capabilities, healing wounds from explosions with ease and bringing the near-dead back to life. In his final days, Luc’s face was skeletal by all meanings- a thin paleness overtaking him as warm life slowly left the engineer’s corpse. Old age was a process by which the body suffered in silence, cells dying one by one until the soul left its containment altogether.
He removes Luc’s glasses from his face, folding them neatly and placing them off to the side. Alexander cups his face and pulls him into another kiss, fingers curling into white hair and grasping his scalp. He moves to straddle over Luc’s hips, propping himself by an arm. He needs the freedom to touch him, fingers delicately grazing along Luc’s narrow face. The apparition before him was how he remembered Luc, happy and old. Color is in the figure’s face, and warm to the touch. As his fingers graced every part of him, he can pull at slight bits of skin and chub- just to tease.
Luc’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling Alexander down into a new kiss. It’s colder than the last one, but Alexander is careful, taking tentative licks to ask for access inside. Luc’s lips parted, letting his tongue worm its way inside and explore every inch. The moment stewed, properly close, holding onto each other for dear life. His hand grasps Luc’s abdomen, rubbing circles into his chest with his thumb.
Alexander liked to think his actions spoke volumes for what he would do for this man. The way his frame covered Luc’s, his hand gently finding a home on every inch of the cooling figure with each touch. In his immense strength, Luc was very breakable in Alexander’s hands. He wants Luc to be safe with him, how he could hold the engineer close with tender love. He lets some of his weight shift, pressing Luc into the bed with his gut. Oh, how he wants to keep peppering him in kisses, just like this.
Luc pulls away from him, hand reaching to brush Alexander’s hair aside and tug at his beard. “Your hair is in the way,” he comments, giving a slight grin. There’s some truth to it, Alexander’s hair is about shoulder length, combined with his beard he looks like some kind of unkempt caveman.
“No, your hair is in the way,” Alexander snickers, his hand reaffirming it’s grip in Luc’s locks and pulling him into another cold kiss. The engineer had a lovely, white mane, shiny from grease and oil. He makes mental notes to ask Luc to shower soon, pulling away from their kiss and trapping the engineer in place with an arm over his torso.
He can stare into Luc’s face, taking in all the details he sorely missed. He does not want to forget the engineer’s face, how happy and full of life he once was. Plump skin is fading into pale wrinkles and Alexander cringes. They are running out of time. The siren is slipping back into the sea.
Luc pulls away from him, hand tangling itself back in Alexander’s hair. His hand finds Luc’s wrist in an iron grasp. He cannot let go of the cold body beneath him, even as Luc is faltering into weak wheezing. The engineer grins- speaking something that his brain turns into static. Luc’s mouth speaks, but no words spill forth.
“Huh?” Alexander questions, tilting his head to the side. He stares into Luc’s face as the floaty nature of reality affirms itself. His face is twisted in disgust, and Alexander’s brows furrow as he tries to figure what the matter is. Was it something he said? Was the kiss too rough? Was he being too rough again? “Luc, I apologize-” he starts to sputter, for he does not want the apparition to reject him. He cannot lose Luc any faster than he already was.
Luc presses a cold, spiny finger to his lips to silence him. It’s frigid, as it drags down his bottom lip then falls to the bed. Luc has the audacity to smile at him as he grows more pale. The engineer is fading before his eyes, and Alexander comes to the horrible realization that his lover is dying. He wants to scream . He tries to do so, but finds his jaws clamped shut. He has to scream , call Luc back to the safe shore of Alexander’s arms and carry him home. The siren calls to him as Luc’s face twists, tears bubbling in his eyes. In his sick, Pavlovian way, he is called to the ghost’s side and it has hurt him again. Weakness takes hold as Alexander collapses on top of him, pressing Luc into the bed as the other man writhes and cries. All power is taken from him- Alexander must scream and he cannot move.
Luc’s corpse is so cold as the engineer’s cries pitter out, and he falls lifeless. Alexander is beaten into silence, his head against the frozen chest. The weight on his body as a whole is equal to the one on his heart. He cannot move, his form taking on its own rigor mortis as the body below him decays.
Caustic awakes with a start, sitting up in his bed. Hyperventilation turns into coughing that breaks into wheezing. When he is in control once more, his head turns, looking at the empty space beside him. Caustic’s hand runs over where Luc should be, gripping into the sheets with a heavy sigh.