Archive of Our Own

one.

Todoroki was too wrapped in his thoughts to notice the truck barreling towards him. By the time it started honking, and he had turned- it was too late.

He felt the air leave his body as he was hit by a force that knocked the air out his lungs and he fell back hard and onto the ground, scraping his hands on the pavement.

The truck hurtled past him and he sat on the ground eyes wide, heart rapidly pounding in shock.

A man loomed over him, sunlight filtered through his verdant hair. His face was written in concern, a permanent crease between his brows.

He felt a hand weave into his hair feeling at the back of his head. Shouto didn’t realize his mouth was moving and words were coming out.

“-you hit your head?”

“What?” Shouto sat dumbfounded at the man’s question.

“Can you tell me your full name?”

“Todoroki Shouto,”

“Todoroki, it doesn’t seem like you’re bleeding or have any head wounds, but you’re shaking and-,” Oh. Todoroki hadn’t noticed.

“We should get you to a hospital just to do a quick checkup just to make sure everything is alright.” Shouto didn’t respond, still reeling from the near-death experience. The man started to get up as traffic started to build and he helped a shaking Shouto up and walked with a comforting hand on his shoulder back to the sidewalk.

The man pulled out his phone and started dialing. Todoroki realized what he was doing and grabbed his wrist. He didn’t need a hospital, he felt fine there was nothing wrong.

“No hospital,”

“You should go to the hospital just in case,” He protested. “You just went through a traumatic experience, and you could be in shock or-”

“I’m fine,” He said with a slightly clipped tone.

The man scrutinized him and it seemed like his hand itched for his phone as if contemplating on still calling the emergency hotline anyway.

“My apartment’s right around the corner, and I'm a paramedic,” He sighed in resignation. “At least let me do a quick evaluation and make you something warm to drink,”

Shouto thought about it for a moment before hesitantly agreeing and shakily walking with the man home.

When they arrived, the paramedic led him to the couch and placed a spare blanket over Shouto’s shoulders. He unconsciously tugged it closer, savoring the warmth.

“Sorry about the mess, I’m going to grab some supplies and make some tea, just make yourself at home,” Todoroki nodded. The couch was worn, and the apartment was relatively organized, save for a few books littered on the table.

“You’re a paramedic?” he asked, scrolling over the books and thumbed a few pages of the nursing book absently.

“Yeah! I’m studying to be a nurse, but emergency support is good for practice and helping out for now,” He says while water runs.

Todoroki hummed. The tea started to boil, and the nameless man brought cups to the coffee table in front of them.

“I uh- never got your name,” 

“Huh? Oh! I’m sorry,” He blushed at the realization. He was mumbling to himself before snapping himself out of his daze, and finally giving Shouto a name to a kind face.

“Midoriya Izuku.”

Todoroki held up his scratched hand and smiled. 

“This is going to sting,” He held a cotton ball against his hand and Todoroki winced slightly at the sting, but reminded himself that this was nothing to what a crash could’ve done. It’s strange to think that he was mere inches away from death, after all the villainous encounters he’s had at UA. His mortality never seemed so fragile that the number two hero would die because he was too busy lost in his thoughts. He really wasn't different from the average civilian, he had issues too, and it’s at that moment a thought crosses his mind.

“You- you almost died,” He stared incredulously at the man who saved him.

“What’re you-” The man looked at him confused, pausing his ministrations on Todoroki's hands.

“You pushed me out of the way- but that truck could’ve hit you,”

“Oh,” 

He stared dumbly at him, before responding as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Well, it could’ve hit you too,”

Midoriya continues to patch up his scraped hands, and there’s a long silence between them. He’s methodical in his process, cleaning, adding ointment, and wrapping gauze over with care.

Midoriya was really gentle about everything Shouto realizes. He- feels guilty for his attitude towards Midoriya. Just because he was having a rough morning didn’t mean he needed to take out all his frustrations on him. Midoriya saved his life, invited him to his home, treated him with nothing but kindness and respect, and what has Shouto offered in return? Shock and a cold demeanor? 

“I apologize for intruding, I should’ve been paying closer attention,” He adds, “Also for my behavior of snapping earlier.”

Midoriya blinks.

“Thanks, but there’s really no need to apologize,” Izuku says and takes a sip of his tea. Todoroki doesn't make a move to grab the drink. He's never been one for hot beverages. Or hot anything really.

“You’re pro-hero Shouto, right?” Todoroki nods in assent. Midoriya didn't seem like a big hero fan, there wasn't any pro-hero merch anywhere he could see.

“Was there anything distracting you in particular?” Midoriya studies him closely, “Are you doing okay?”

That question poked and prodded about things he decided to forget. Things that Shouto says he doesn't think about because of the waterfall it always starts. Shouto doesn’t think about the guilt he’s carried, or how difficult it still was to see his mother, or how he hasn’t used his left side for months, or how he unconsciously keeps repressing the memories of his childhood, or how the flames that dance across his arms make him want to gag. He doesn’t want to think about it, but when Midoriya asks he does.

He hasn’t let any of this ever be answered aloud, and no one’s ever even bothered to ask. He kept a safe distance from his classmates at UA, he stood cold for the majority of his time, and although he grew to be a stronger hero, his communication and friendship skills still didn't look so hot. He lacked in collaboration and hasn't gotten close enough with anyone to ask let alone look at him with that much concern. Todoroki knows that Midiriya didn’t mean to pry, and he shouldn’t let his emotions run so out of control but at that moment. After having almost died, everything comes bubbling up, and the words don’t stop tumbling out of his mouth.

And Midoriya Izuku listens.

Maybe it’s the fact he’s a kind stranger, someone who doesn’t know anything about him besides that he’s a pro hero. Maybe it’s that he already trusts this man with his life. Either way, he’s grateful that Midoriya is so calm and comforting. He doesn't press him, demand answers, or scold him for not being stronger. He offers hums and nods, holds his bandaged hands carefully. Todoroki feels so worn out after releasing years worth of pain and trauma with this man who does nothing more than accept him completely and offer him consolation.

“Your dad is a prick,” Midoriya looked at him with a frown. Shouto laughs and agrees.

“But Todoroki, you know it’s not his power right?” Shouto's eyes met Izuku's.

Midoriya’s gaze was fixed on him, his eyes seemed empathetic, reflective of the sadness Shouto carried constantly with him. Shouto’s lips parted to say something but before he could, he continued.

“It’s your power, not his,” Midoriya's gaze is unwavering, and his resolve so strong that Todoroki has no choice but to believe in him.

“He doesn’t deserve the satisfaction to take anything else from you.”

His heart clenched tight at Izuku's words.

Shouto felt choked, words couldn’t describe the feeling that tangled in his chest. What Izuku said, was something he didn’t realize he wanted-- no, needed to hear. All his life, he’s been a pawn in a long game of Endeavor’s design. Made to be him, and he couldn’t bear the idea of being someone who acted the way his father did towards his mom or himself. Shouto gave a jerked nod and absently wiped his wet lashes. Izuku placed a hand on his forearm.

“The burden of having to save the world over and over without being hurt is a heavy one,” 

Izuku gives him a wobbly smile.

“So don’t push your pain down,”

He smiled softly at him, and Todoroki hasn’t felt so calm and warm in a while.

two.

Shouto comes over frequently after that. Minor injuries on the job that don’t need immediate medical attention, much less take up a hospital bed, he justifies.

The hours he comes over conveniently align with Midoriya’s dinner, and it becomes a habit for them to sit together or watch a movie before Izuku has to get ready for work or to study.

Izuku doesn’t argue, he’s happy to chat and treat him. That’s all it was really, a hero who didn’t want to go to a hospital. It was purely for professional reasons, and the times where Shouto has come free of scrapes, it’s a repayment for the last dinner Izuku cooked.

Izuku feels his chest ache at that thought. He pushed it aside, ignoring that knotted feeling. He was just doing his job, and he shouldn’t want more than to help a hero out. It doesn’t stop the feelings he gets when Todoroki lets out a soft laugh at his jokes, or the blush that scrubs its way onto his cheeks at the look Todoroki has when Izuku finishes patching him up. That combination between amazed and staring at him, captivated like he had some healing quirk that could mend anything.

Shouto hasn’t asked about his quirk yet and he’s somewhat grateful because he doesn’t know what he’d say. At the same time though, he feels somewhat guilty, like he’s tricking him. But, Todoroki doesn’t seem like the kind of person to reject someone purely based on the fact that they’re quirkless. The fear he’s had since elementary still gnaws at him. Plagues his dreams, and thoughts late at night alone. He wishes he could just know what Shouto's views on quirkless rights were but it's never a topic that comes up in casual conversations. 

It’s gotten better-- the acceptance of who he is, that is. He’s been able to deal with the people who still pick on him, even at work and night classes. It’s a constant reminder of the chronic pain in his heart of being unable to fight for others with a smile. At least he can provide medical aid with one, and at the end of the day, he’s doing what he always had an inherent need to do and save lives. It might be hypocritical but he pushes down the memories and hurt from his early years, the loneliness, that still grips him today.

Kids can be cruel. 

When Izuku was in middle school, the bullying got bad.  His dream was slowly chipped away, as they kept pushing and pushing him to the ground, laughing in his face. They dared him to get up, and when he did, he was pushed down again and again. Trip him, spit at him, call him names, anything to quash the flame that burned to be a pro-hero, and go to UA. 

His teacher lectured the class several times on the topic of bullying but it continues. It worsens.

At some point, he stays down.

His mom notices the bruises on his knees and split lip, and one day she’s had enough. She pleads to Izuku to change schools, and he finally agrees. He’s never been one to give up, but his last year of junior high he’s met with new faces, and he’s quiet. He smiles and answers questions and tries to avoid quirks. He even makes friends, until they find out about his quirklessness. 

He doesn’t apply to UA.

He has a new dream now, one to become a nurse. The medical field was filled with predominantly healing quirks-- in fact, no doctors or surgeons were quirkless from what Izuku could tell. It was competitive but attainable. He reads and studies, and learns that years ago it was based purely on knowledge of human anatomy and treatments. He wants to help people, and he wishes it were by stopping villains and disasters-- like All Might saving a student who was captured in the slime incident.

But he learns that caring for someone in the aftermath might be more important.

He just wishes that quirkless didn’t stop him from doing that either.

Medical schools reject his applications, and so he takes an EMT course, and then paramedic. He goes for nursing instead of becoming a doctor or surgeon. It’s reasonable and he’s okay with it. He works harder than most, learning how to suture on bananas, learns c-spine stabilization, memorize average respiration rates of humans, and later of different mutant quirks.

He’s doing what he wants, and he’s good at it. It just gets lonely at times. People still find ways to get under his skin and pick on him, and he sighs at the idea of no close friends really. Sure there were coworkers who didn’t comment on his quirklessnes, but he could tell from the pitiful look they’d make when they thought he wasn’t looking, or the way they’d say, ‘ got it!’ to any patients buzzing. Like they didn’t trust him to do his job, let alone do it well.

He still tries to be friendly, but move after the move he learns that him being himself loses trust and loses friends. He’s fine with being quirkless, but he wishes others would be too. 

Several ambulances were already nearby, teams of medical personnel worked and assessed, vehicles came in and out. Triage was already underway, the ambulances taking reds and yellows immediately to the hospital. Paramedics with healing quirks have worked relentlessly over the urgently needed care civilians.

There were several injured civilians, and Izuku is relieved with the amount of medical personnel on-site. There were more than enough responders with healing quirks and not nearly as many patients who needed immediate care. Although he wasn’t actively resuscitating anyone, he was there to save lives-- even if that meant primarily heavy lifting cots of people with the help of an EMT to those who could help much more quickly and efficiently than he ever could. He’s happy he can still help people with a reassuring smile.

He tagged and treated patients, checking for breathing, keeping pressure on the bleeding until someone more qualified with a clotting quirk arrived. 

Izuku Midoriya is just as methodical, calm, and focused as he’s trained. His heart is still beating quickly and his palms feel sweaty, but he doesn’t let the fear of someone’s precious life in his hands interfere with their treatment. He kept close to his partner for this call, who welded and wove skin together. Izuku disinfected the injuries, while Yosetsu effectively halted the bleeding.

“Deku, I need you to get pressure on his other arm,” Yosetsu welded and seemed tired from the overuse of his quirk. They’d already treated several civilians, but this seemed to be the last of the crowd.

Once the patient was treated, Yosetsu headed to write the report for the man on the ground and said he’d meet Deku later. Midoriya nodded in assent and went in search of Shouto.

He almost was sure the hero had left the scene when he saw a group of reporters huddled around several heroes. The tension fell from his shoulders as soon as Midoriya saw Todoroki excuse himself and approach him in his hero gear. Uravity walked alongside him and Izuku unconsciously adjusted his first responder uniform, nervous of how disheveled he must look.

“Any bad or notable injuries?” He cleared his throat and tried to sound professional. He looked her over. Uravity laughed lightly at his prodding and shook her head. 

He nodded satisfied once he looked her around, not seeing any notable signs of trauma on her. She seemed completely fine, in fact, her gear still seemed clean.

“And you?” Shouto shook his head slowly, the paramedic looked down his arm and frowned. Shouto clearly had forgotten about the cut along his right arm. He was probably thinking absently something along the lines of “Nothing Izuku couldn’t deal with later”.

“Uravity, thank you for helping save the city again,” he said, bidding her farewell as he marked her clear for no further medical treatment.

He turned to focus on Shouto.

“So your arm huh,” Izuku smiled comfortingly and reached for his arm.

“Whatever will I do? Izuku, I’m bleeding out,” He gave a deep sigh in feigned annoyance. Izuku giggled and started to clean and wrap the cut.

“Deku what the hell are you up to?” 

Izuku looked back at Yosetsu and was about to respond, but before he could, Todoroki’s voice cut through the air.

“Deku?”

Oh.

Oh, fuck no wait-.

Fear suddenly rolled through him in waves. He turned, reaching a hand out to stop Yosetsu from explaining the nickname that seemed to follow him no matter how many times he transferred schools, or moved towns. The name that someone seemed to come up with every time they figured out Izuku’s file had a red flag beneath his name.

“Ah yeah, poor kid’s quirkless,” Yosetsu shrugged, shaking his head.

 “His name in kanji, just reflects how he is,” Izuku felt the color drain from his face.

He didn’t want to. He really didn’t, but he couldn’t stop himself from looking back and seeing Shouto’s reaction.

Todoroki's eyes were wide.

There was a long tense pause between the three of them.

“You’re quirkless?”

“I- I-,” Izuku couldn’t escape the bitter taste in his mouth, couldn’t push out the words. Couldn’t apologize.

“Oh, uh- this is awkward,” Yosetsu took a few steps back, before turning, and saying over his shoulder,  “I’ll uh- let our team know you had to head home early, I think we’ve got the patients handled.”

Izuku didn’t- couldn’t respond.

“Midoriya?” Shouto turns and looks at him concerned. He hated the tears that welled up when he saw the way Todoroki Shouto looked at him. 

It was like that look of pity his mom gave him for years guilty for being unable to pass a quirk down to him, like that look teachers used to give him when he still dreamed of being a pro-hero, but Shouto’s stare was different. Like he was going to break, or like he was chasing an unrealistic fantasy, or that he wasn’t worth his time, or that it was a shame that he had been cursed to be alive. Like he felt bad.

Oh, that felt like his heart was breaking .

This world wasn’t fair. People weren’t created equal, he’s known that for the majority of his life. He just needed to get back to work and focus on his studies. Focus on what was attainable, not being friends was fine. He hasn’t had much luck throughout his life with making friends anyway, and a pro-hero? How delusional of himself.

Todoroki put a hand on his shoulder, and Izuku flinched back. His gut reaction was to run, get away from the bullies who kept pushing him down, daring him to get up. Someone going as far to tell him to jump off a roof. He just needed to leave . He didn’t realize he was mumbling until Todoroki snapped him out of his stupor.

“Izuku,” his voice was soft.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I completely understand that you won’t want to pursue further,” Izuku could at least be professional about it, he owed Todoroki that much. 

Shouto stared at him silently with an unreadable expression. 

“I- I can redirect you to a coworker who I’m sure would be happy to tend to any future injuries and you won’t need to hear from me again I-”

“What’re you talking about?” Shouto sounded almost confused. Izuku took a deep breath and felt the hurt in his chest well up. He knew that he wouldn’t want to see him anymore but to play coy and act as though he wasn’t about to cut him off was just mean. He didn’t think he was like that, but he also didn’t think that Shouto would reject him for being quirkless-- something no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t change about himself.

“Todoroki, I get it, you don’t have to be cruel about it.” He said through gritted teeth. 

He felt hot tears threaten to spill, and shrugged off the pro-hero’s hand, “I’ll be out of your life and I apologize for not telling you sooner.” 

The sooner he got out of there, the sooner Izuku could grieve for another delusional dream lost. The sooner he could get over the crumpled piece of hope that kept growing back like an invasive weed that refused to die no matter how many times he tried to squash it.

“Izuku, I-” Midoriya walked away quickly while Todoroki stood stunned.

How cruel of him . 

Izuku sat at the desk by his bed, rereading the same lines of his textbook over and over. The focus wasn’t with him tonight, his mind kept drifting to that feeling and that look. There was no way he was getting through the chapter tonight, he decided. Izuku shut the texbook, pulled on his pajamas and crawled into bed.

His stomach was in knots, anxiety didn’t help his work ethic, and neither did thinking about those minutes was a sad reminder. He felt so stupid.

Deceiving a pro-hero and not disclosing his quirklessness was most likely a new low for Shouto to have faced. Had it not been for Yosetsu, would Izuku ever have even brought it up? He didn’t think his quirklessness was anyone’s business but everyone seemed to think they deserved the right to know about his- impairment.

He turned over and tried to squeeze his eyes shut trying to erase that look Shouto had from his mind. A knock interrupted him.

He tense and mechanically got out of bed and worked his way to the window, forcing every step forward.

Fuck Todoroki was clearly here to tell off Midoriya, or make fun of him, or yell, or teach him a lesson-- something.

Todoroki stood at the open window, waiting for Izuku.

“Can I come in?” Izuku gave a worldless nod and went to start some tea.

Shouto walked over to the couch and sat quietly while Izuku set up cups while simultaneously trying to stop his hands from shaking.

The tea kettle shrieked and Izuku completely agreed.

He set the mugs down on the coffee table in front of the couch and took a seat unable to reach his eyes.

Izuku held the hot cup in his hands but Shouto made no move to take his mug.

“Todoroki-“

“Izuku-“

They spoke at the same time.

“Can I go first?” Izuku asked quietly, it was better to get this over sooner, apologize and hopefully Shouto would be merciful to him. Shouto nodded.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner,” he took a shuddering breath, “it was wrong of me to deceive you in such a way and if there’s anything I can do to-“

“I don’t care that you’re quirkless,”

He turned to face him and-

The look on Todoroki’s face wasn’t angry. It was soft but determined, with heterochromatic eyes burning into him. 

Izuku could only stare. He put down the mug.

“It’s not- you don’t need to be fixed,” He seemed almost frustrated.

“You’re hardworking and care so much for people, and I-” Shouto clenched his hands, struggling to grasp the right words. Everything he said- Izuku swallowed the lump in his throat. 

“You’re important to me, and being quirkless doesn’t change anything,” He said with finality.

"You're still Midoriya Izuku," He reached out and took Izuku’s trembling hand. 

A sob ripped from his throat, and Shouto pulled him into a warm embrace. He patted his back and let Izuku cry,

“So can we order katsudon tonight? My treat?”

Izuku laughed through his tears and nodded.

three.

He heard a window rattle and slide open. He smiled and began to call out.

“Y’know Shouto, I have a door--”

A heavy thud in the living room cut him off. Izuku’s eyes widened, and he dropped the dish in his hand before turning and falling to Todoroki’s side almost immediately.

“Shit okay, hey, stay with me,” Midoriya peeled away the wet jacket and ripped open the semi-frozen shirt that Todoroki had on. He shuddered when he brushed against the hero’s uncomfortably cold skin. Panic laced through his veins. For a moment, all Izuku could do was stare at his rapidly deteriorating state in horror.

Shouto shivered uncontrollably, an icy glaze crept up the side of his face and grappled across his chest.

“’Zu?” He mumbled, eyes fluttering.

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” He tried to keep the panicked edge from his voice, but failed miserably. Shouto didn’t seem to notice.

“Cold,” Shouto’s response was clearly slurred, and Izuku laughed almost hysterically. He took hold of his frigid wrist and started counting his pulse. Frost coated his lashes and his fingers still had ice on them. Izuku’s brow knit as his suspicions were confirmed, all the signs pointed to hypothermia, but it didn’t make sense. If Todoroki had activated his left quirk, he shouldn’t be this frigid, he wouldn’t be this incapacitated. Izuku knew now, of course, that wasn’t a choice, what with the shock it would have on his body.

“Shou, I’ll be right back, don’t move okay?” The hero grunted in response, as Izuku steadily placed Todoroki back on the ground, careful to not make any sudden movements that would startle his heart. He stood up and looked back down at Todoroki. 

Blankets .

He tore off the sheets from his bed and started digging in his closets for coats. Izuku looked around frantically, snatching any warm articles of clothing he could get his hands on. He took a stack of towels, a few pillows, and most importantly, heating pads. When arms were overfilled with what he needed, he stumbled back over to his friend.

Shouto still lay uncontrollably trembling on the floor, unmoved from where Izuku left him. He dropped the bundles of fabric piled in his arms onto the ground, and carefully placed them beneath, around, and over the man. He tucked a pillow with care beneath his head and another beneath his torso. He wrapped blankets around his arms with an emphasis on his right side and repeated the process from his waist down.

This would do for now.

Shouto still endlessly shivered. Izuku sighed, and kept in mind as he pulled away from the semi-conscious man that he still had to get his heater-- especially the heating pads.

Midoriya switched on the microwave and placed the pads inside. 

If he were honest, he was just going through the motions to treat the hero. He only realized the heater was dragged and plugged in when he was back in the kitchen. The microwave quietly hummed as if taunting Izuku. He drummed his hands on the counter, waiting for the damn machine to finally finish warming the pads. Steadily he grew more and more antsy. Shouto needed this as soon as possible, and the microwave clearly wasn’t working fast enough---

Finally, it came out.

He quickly carried the hot pad to his friend and unwrapped the blankets covering his chest. He gently tucked the warmers beneath the pits of his arms and laid another on his chest. Izuku then redid the blanket wraps and finally felt the tension fall from his shoulders. This was all he could do.

He laid by the right side of the hero and draped his arm over Shouto's chest (just another way to warm him up he rationalized). It was purely for Shouto’s reassurance when he woke up he told himself.

Izuku brushed stray strands of hair away from Shouto’s face. The frost that had clung onto his lashes, had melted into droplets that made it seem like he was crying. There were bruises beneath his droopy eyes, likely from overworking he thought distantly. His lips were still tinted between a faint blue and muted purple.

Then, that feeling started creeping in-- the one that made him feel like he was teeming with rot from the inside out. That feeling that seemingly found its way back to him every time no matter how many times he thought he’d gotten away from it. It was that feeling that plagued him since childhood, crumbling his dreams to dust, and tore away any hope for true happiness away from him. It’s what made his mom guilty that he was alive and the way he was. If he could just be better, born better-- The discordant chorus echoed and that feeling festered in his chest, clutching, squeezing, pinching at his heart.

The feeling of helplessness.

A tremor raked through Izuku, angry tears blurred his vision, and his breathing began to become erratic. He choked a sob back down. 

He was a paramedic for fuck's sake. He’s dealt with far worse situations, and he handled this one fine . Todoroki was going to be fine .

Midoriya wiped away a stray tear with the back of his hand and focused on leveling his breathing.

Ground himself. That was easy right? It should be so easy to get his body to just function right , why was this so difficult?

“’Zuku?”

Izuku heaved, and fought for breath to answer. He instinctively tightened his grip on Shouto. Fat tears rolled past his lashes. 

“Mhm?” He stifled the broken sounds that threatened to spill from him. 

“You okay? His drowsy eyes drifted to him. That expression Shouto had--

A sob ripped from him without permission. How embarrassing .

Todoroki Shouto had fallen into his apartment, definitely with severe hypothermia,
to the point of critical condition, and here he was. Comforting Izuku? As if he were the one on the brink of death. Shouto was a hero in every aspect of himself and Izuku? Izuku was helpless , even with the years of training and experience to be medical support, years of trauma care, here he was crying his eyes out at the thought of his friend nearly dying of his quirk and Izuku had none to help him with. Todoroki only came to him when he needed someone to treat his injuries, how could Izuku even call them friends ? Izuku was so useless--

“Wh’tre you talkin’ bout?” Fuck, of course, he was mumbling.

“Shou- Todoroki, I- I’m,” Todoroki didn’t need to hear this, Izuku  was being completely unprofessional. He started pulling his arm away, but Shouto grabbed it weakly. His fragile grip was enough to draw him away from the spiraling dizziness of his thoughts. Izuku held his breath, waiting for Todoroki who seemed to be at a loss for words.

“You saved me,” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, as if stating the obvious.

“Izuku, you’re my hero.”

And for a moment Izuku could believe him. 

Waves of emotion crashed down on him. The pain in his heart ebbed and flowed out of him. This time, he didn’t try to suppress the sobs that rattled out his chest. His throat was sore from the loud convulsive gasps that tore from him. The tide had come and gone and Izuku's eyes shone with a different kind of tears.

Todoroki’s words hadn’t erased or changed the thoughts that tormented him. But if Shouto believed he was a hero, maybe Izuku can start thinking so too.

four.

Midoriya was scrubbing his bowl and cup quietly humming to himself as he cleaned up dinner. He lathered, rinsed, and grabbed the towel to dry his hands after the last dish. As he hung the cloth back in its place Midoroya heard rampant knocking on glass.

“Todoroki?” he walked over to the window hesitantly and pulled back the curtain.

In the dark, he could vaguely make out the hero swaying, with a figure leaning slack against him.

As soon as Midoriya registered the sight before him, he unlocked and nearly broke the window, swinging it open so hard. 

“Help please,” Todoroki gasped. He looked like he was about to fall over

“Fuck, quick bring him in,” and that time Todoroki nearly did topple over, had it not been for Izuku’s support.

“He’s lost a lot of blood,” Shouto informed him out of breath and a wavering voice. “Izuku he’s bleeding so much”

Midoriya directed them to the couch and set the bleeding hero down.

“Keep pressure on the worst cuts and I’ll be right back,” The paramedic said as he hurried to his room to grab his kit.

“And try to keep his feet elevated,” Izuku called as he immediately started pulling medical equipment and towels from the cabinet. 

“Shouto how’s his responsiveness?” If he kept Todoroki talking, he could distract him from the edge of panic.

“He’s uh- He’s breathing, but he stopped talking a few minutes ago,” Todoroki faltered. “That’s bad isn’t it?”

Izuku kept rummaging, but couldn't find anything to numb the pain. Todoroki had used the last of it after he came by from another mission, and Midoriya hadn’t had time to restock since. He sighed deciding to make do with what he had, and returned to the two heroes, ready to get back to work.

Todoroki had his hands pressed hard on Bakugou’s abdomen, and shuffled aside as the paramedic placed the materials down. Izuku started to cut away the bleeding hero’s costume and the other quickly undid his gauntlets before resuming his position.

Midoriya grimaced as he started looking him over properly, assessing the unconscious man’s two heavily bleeding lacerations while taking his pulse. 

“Izuku is that bad?” Dread and urgency was a bad cocktail for an emergency situation where they both needed to be calm.

“Yeah, it’s not good, but it might be better for him to be out for this part,” He tried to comfort.

He cursed under his breath, time was dwindling and he quickly cleaned the wound. He started to douse the cuts and surrounding areas with alcohol, when a spark went off as the man he treated hissed, yet still laid limply. Izuku saw another fizzle and stepped back. 

“Is he allergic to alcohol or something?” Izuku turned to Todoroki. He shook his head.

“His quirk?”

“Explosions from nitroglycerin based sweat,” Izuku nodded recalling Todoroki’s friend’s quirk while the cleaning agent dried. He looked down at the useless needle in his hand. 

He was bleeding too much and Izuku could tell that sewing him up wasn’t an option anymore, not when his current reflexive response was to blow up anything that caused him pain. The man was looking pale and he felt too cold and clammy for Izuku’s comfort especially given the condition he was in.

“He’s going to set off an explosion every time I try to stitch him with the way he’s reacting to the pain already and—,” strained, Izuku got up and hastily started rummaging through kitchen drawers. 

“It’s just going to take too long.” Todoroki watched him, confused, when the shorter man returned with a metal spatula. He started to sanitize it with the alcohol wipes he had in his bag and looked at Todoroki.

“Could you warm this up for me?” Izuku held out the tip of the spatula. He took his hands off the bleeding hero.

Shouto hesitated. His hand twitched back, away from Izuku, instinctively worried about using the side of him that burned and destroyed so easily.

“Please, Shou, I know but we don’t have time,” He pleaded, eyes burning with desperation.

Todoroki finally jerked out of his daze and put out his left burning hand for the first time in months . He was speechless and unable to process what Izuku was going to do, too wrapped up in his head of the implications of the fire dancing across his skin. He hated this familiar revolting feeling of heat, but if Izuku asked--

“Stand back,” Izuku held the two pieces of skin that were the most worrisome of Ground Zero’s injuries and pressed the scalding metal on the intersection, and Todoroki finally understood.

Bakugo screamed, while Izuku, too late, tried to lean back as an explosion was set off against his left shoulder.

Seared and in sudden agony, he cried out and fell. The spatula clattered helplessly to the ground. Izuku stifled a sob and tried to hold back the welling tears in his eyes. His shoulder burned insistently, but he didn’t give a shit. He needed to seal the other wound or Ground Zero would bleed out, and then what would an insignificant burned shoulder matter for? If he didn’t stop the bleeding, a hero would die.

Ice built around the burn as Midoriya fumbled for the hilt on the ground and held it back up to Shouto. Izuku looked up at him gratefully, but the wobbling smile that played on his lips didn’t fool Shouto for a moment. Todoroki couldn’t understand how the quirkless man could be so strong and collected while Shouto was so undoubtedly in shock and numb he could only watch helplessly as the situation unfolded before him.

If Todoroki hadn’t been paying close attention, he would have fallen for the calm and collected look Izuku had on. He set a low flame in his palm and held it below the metal.

But now? Todoroki was watching carefully and noticed the way Izuku’s hands shook as he carefully held together another distressing gash. Shouto readied his right hand this time.

He countered Bakugo’s reflexive jolt coating his forearm in ice as an explosion went off in the air. Izuku’s eyes were tightly shut and held his breath, but he held the spatula firmly down on the wound still. He peeked and exhaled relieved at the sight of Shouto between him and Ground Zero. He huffed a nearly hysterical laugh and a breathless thanks.

Todoroki lowered his and Bakugo’s arm, while Midoriya started to bandage the smaller less prominent wounds. Todoroki took a seat on the floor and rested his head against the side of the couch. The day had been long and Bakugo nearly dying wasn’t something Todoroki had on his to-do list, and he definitely didn’t want to have a talk to the other heroes about that yet. He felt exhausted just thinking about it, or maybe that was the adrenaline was dissipating.

“Shou, are you hurt?” His eyes sluggishly opened and Shouto stopped breathing. He was startled by how close Izuku was kneeling to him. His face was scrunched in concern, as he leaned towards him. Todoroki blinked wordlessly as Izuku started pulling away his jacket to look him over. He felt Izuku’s eyes lower and warm hands run down, his arms, and torso, and oh fuck Izuku was stripping him-- it was unquestionably, purely out of platonic concern but that didn’t make Shouto any less, flustered mortified.

Todoroki reddened and looked away, “I’m fine, just a couple of bruises here and there,”

“Bakugo took the brunt of the fight, I came in late,”

Midoriya looked at him skeptically for a long moment before nodding. Shouto internally sighed in relief. 

“Will he be okay?” Todoroki asked vaguely distressed after glancing up at the man on the couch. Midoriya started to clear the waste surrounding them.

“He should be fine for now,” Izuku soothed, “I’m going to set up a blood transfusion for him.”

“You have blood on hand?” Izuku winced. He gave a small nod and scratched the back of his head.

“I’ve uh- started keeping some Type O in my fridge since I’ve met you,” He fidgeted and curled in on himself.

Todoroki stared at him.

“You-” he gaped.

Izuku cheeks dusted pink.

“Oh, I knew you’d think it’s weird,” he bemoaned and hid his face in his hands. “I just worry about you! You break in injured like every other day and one of these days-”

Todoroki burst out laughing, and Izuku burned, shrinking in on himself, attempting to hide the blush on his cheeks.

“I mean- I know it’s usually just some abrasions here and there but-” He tried to defend turning redder by the second.

“I’m so sorry, Izuku,” He tried to contain the puffs of laughter that ceaselessly spilled from him.

“I’m not laughing at you I promise, I just-” Todoroki tucked loose strands of hair away from his face, and looked away, pink dusted across his cheeks.

“I just find it endearing.” He smiled that soft smile that made Izuku want to smash their faces together. He wanted to completely ignore the man on the couch and just kiss Shouto dumb. Make Shouto whine out his name and- swerve his mind away from the breathy way Shouto said that. Veer into safe territory of adult medical professional discussions.

Shouto glanced down at his lips, and Izuku felt hungry. He unconsciously leaned forward, enraptured with the soft curve that seemed to be drawing him closer. 

But then Izuku remembered that he should be focused on the task at hand, and—

Hello, Earth to Izuku? He should be a medical professional about caring for a hero’s injuries and start actually doing his job .

He scooted back a step and picked up the blood-stained towels from the floor, nervously laughing. Maybe he was imagining it but was that a flicker of disappointment on Todoroki’s face?

He cleared his throat, “I do think he needs to see a doctor as soon as he wakes up.”

Shouto hummed in assent. He was definitely imagining it, he decided.

After he set up the IV, Izuku sat next to Todoroki who looked close to sleep. 

“Why didn’t you bring him to the ER?” He asked quietly and suddenly. The question stumbled out of him before he could filter the thought into the Danger Zone of Crush Things Izuku definitely didn’t need to think about right now. He mentally smacked himself and was about to revise his question or wave it off, because Shouto definitely wanted to sleep right now-

Todoroki flinched so subtly Midoriya thought he must’ve imagined it. But Izuku was definitely not imagining this. Shouto was using the poker face he used to conceal his embarrassment and Izuku knew this because it was the same expression he made when he caught on fire from being flustered and accidentally fried an egg in his hand.

“Your place was closest,” He said with a casual tone and shrug. Izuku snorted a laugh and got up to grab blankets and pillows and burn cream for his shoulder.

“Sure, Shou,” He smiled, savoring the flames that flickered on his cheek, as he turned away. He certainly did not see Shouto burning crimson and patting out his cheek with his right hand.

five.

For once, Shouto is knocking on Izuku’s front door. It’s a pleasant change from falling open a window to get his arm stitched, or having his burns treated, or dragging another hero to get medical treatment, or Izuku treating him half dead on his floor.

And yeah, this time he brought flowers.

It was a nice change, but after a few minutes with no response to his knocking, Todoroki is getting worried. 

He knocked again loud enough for the neighbor of the apartment next door to come out.

“Hey! What’s with the loud ass knocking?,” The pink-haired woman huffed.

“My apologies, I don’t have Iz-Midoriya’s number, and he’s not answering,” Todoroki explained.

“Oh,” She looked confused at him, “He's at Musutafu Hospital.”

It took a moment to process the words that made the memory of hypothermia feel like a summer day. The words went through his chest, gripped his heart, and seized the air in his lungs, effectively tearing his world apart. This couldn’t be right, he’d just seen Izuku a few days ago, who would target a civilian whose job it was to save lives? Yes, Izuku was a hero, but not the ones in the spotlight who do it for fame and glory. But a real hero who wanted to help people, save others.

It was always him in danger-- never Izuku, not once he should’ve been a target-- sure it was entirely possible that Izuku could've been dragged into an alley on his way home from grocery shopping. But he wasn’t defenseless against a mugger with a quirk or worse, maybe this was Todoroki’s fault. Some villains must’ve seen him entering his home when he was injured and careless. He could be the reason Izuku was potentially dying. 

Sure, Izuku was more susceptible to attacks for being quirkless, and he knows hate crimes against those without quirks had started to rise but Izuku? How could it be him?

He mechanically turned away, mindlessly dropped the flowers and started to run.

“Hey! You dropped your flowers!” The woman shouted distantly. Not that Todoroki could hear.

He cursed that he still hadn’t exchanged numbers after the number of times (and lives) Izuku’s saved, and now potentially Izuku was in danger, sick, being held hostage, or dying?  

He arrived in the ER asking around where Izuku was, a receptionist directed him to the emergency room and Shouto's stomach dropped as his worst fears were confirmed.

He shoved past the double doors and stumbled onto a scene with Izuku, pumping compressions on a man’s chest.

Someone said to clear, and Izuku moved away. The other medic used her electricity-based quirk and the man stuttered to life.

It was at that moment Izuku turned and noticed Shouto staring at them.

“Shouto, what’re you doing here?” Izuku asked.

Alive . 

Oh.

He choked, unable to respond. Seeing Izuku was overwhelming. Todoroki tried to level his breathing, but he couldn’t get a handle on the stupid rhythm of in and out.

“Oh, fuck are you alright?” He asked, panicked while ushering Todoroki to take a seat.

“You look like you’re in shock, are you bleeding anywhere?” He looked him over, unzipping his jacket, and pulling up his shirt.

“Izuku, I like you,” Shouto blurts.

Midoriya froze his frantic search for a wound that didn’t exist. He looked up and met Shouto’s dead serious gaze

“A lot.”

“Oh,” Izuku’s cheeks dusted pink.

The air was tight with the heavy silence that rested between them. Todoroki thought it was only fair since he caused it, he should be the one to end this horrifically awkward silence.

“You don’t have to feel the same or anything,” His tone was level, and his heart definitely wasn’t being squeezed like a lemon in his chest. It sure felt like it though.

That seemed to snap Izuku out of his stupor.

“No, no, that’s not it, I like you too!” He damn near shouted while waving his hands, flushed red. Shouto’s breath caught and his heart swelled

“Just- What brought that on?” Izuku took his hand, and stared intently at Shouto. Emerald green eyes burned into him, along with concern wrinkling his brow. “You seemed so scared.”

He internally face palmed, and wished he could at this moment be beneath a rock.

“Your neighbor told me you were here, and I well- I-,” Todoroki sputtered.

He felt his face burn, embarrassment running through his body. The paramedic looked at him confused, until finally catching on to what Todoroki meant. When he started giggling uncontrollably, Shouto actually did start burning.

“I- I thought you were-“ He tried to defend while patting out the flames on his left with his right.

“I’m sorry Shou, I’m not laughing at you but-,” Izuku tried to stifle a snort.

“Did you seriously forget I work at a hospital?”

“Potentially,” He mumbled.

“I stitch you up like every two weeks!”

They both laughed and Todoroki was absolutely in love with this man. The way his sweet smile curved, and his eyes shone. Izuku felt like he was glowing, with the way Shouto was staring at him. Everything about this moment was so perfectly imperfect that Izuku couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward and pressing his lips against Shouto’s shy smile.

Their lips slotted together, soft and clumsy , but Izuku wouldn’t trade this moment for the world. 

“Shou, is this okay?” He pulled back slightly out of breath. Todoroki was going to die of the warmth that unfurled and buzzed through him. He nodded frantically, until Izuku cupped his face in his hands and dragged him back to his lips.

Todoroki’s eyes fell shut and moaned softly as Izuku deepened their kiss. Izuku led with passion and threaded his crooked fingers through his hair, pulling him closer. Shouto placed his hands on Izuku’s hips and tugged, trying to pull him as close as humanly possible. It felt like Todoroki was burning until he was and the break room’s smoke alarms started going off.

Izuku smiled endearingly at him, the two of them panting softly. Todoroki sat dumbfounded while Izuku went to turn off the beeping. 

“My lunch break is over in 10 minutes,” He said after glancing at the time. He returned to where Shouto still sat, jacket, and shirt hiked up from when Izuku was assessing him. Izuku slid a hand over his exposed side.

“Now, where were we?” Izuku smiled and Todoroki instinctively leaned forward and melted into him. He parted his lips and let himself be buried into the heat that was Izuku. He made a mental note this time to focus on keeping his quirk in check. What a bother it would be to have to turn off the alarm again ?

Inconveniently, that’s when the hero's phone started going off. Shouto rolled his eyes, and sighed. Izuku giggled.

“What,”

“Whoa, there Mr. Freeze, what’s got you in a mood?” Bakugo asked.

“Ground Zero,”

“Nevermind, kinda don’t really give a fuck anyway,”

“What’s the issue Bakugo,” He said dry-icily, Izuku watched him amused. He could practically hear Bakugo roll his eyes.

He explained the situation, the villain with some kind of fire quirk, and sent Shouto the address. He hung up and sighed dramatically. Izuku giggled and pressed a chaste kiss on his cheek.

“That reminds me, can I get your number? I’ve been meaning to ask for a while,” Izuku looked pointedly at his phone.

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” He gave a small smile and the two exchanged numbers. Shouto tugged over his coat and Izuku did the same.

Izuku wove their hands together. “Wanna come over tonight?” 

Shouto smiled and kissed his cheek, “Sure, it’s a date.”

plus one.

Izuku’s ambulance is the first to arrive on the scene. He knows that he’s supposed to wait for the fire department, but the roar of the fire, the woman sobbing about her helpless child coupled with the deafening creak of the building has his body moving. The mother cries out where her child is stuck as he grabbed a wet cloth, and his legs moved without permission, sprinting inside before anyone could stop him. People who were already flooding out shoved past him, and he knows his team will take care of them. The building is 4 floors, and smoke is already choking him. But he barrels in without hesitation.

He hears a loud explosion and the building groan in response. The villain is still in the building. They’re angry, and fear burns hot in the pit of his stomach. He turns into the room the mother had shouted previously, and expecting to start looking around for a kid. But when he steps into the room, he’s met with ferocity and an enraged pyromaniac.

The explosion pummels a large piece of debris into his chest. He wheezes as the air in his chest escapes and Izuku crumples to the ground. A piece of burning wood falls from the ceiling then, onto the arm that isn’t holding the cloth. He choked a cry and crawled on the ground, still searching for the child.

The villain continues to throw objects, frantic and frenzied. He spotted a small leg from beneath a desk and started towards it.

As he started to cross the door behind him slammed open, ice coating its ridges, and Shouto stepped through. The air became more breathable, and Izuku thanked the hero profusely in his mind.

“Why don’t you cool off,” Shouto said from across the room with a raised arm.

The man on fire snarled before lunging forward.

The boy was sat huddled beneath a table, and seemed alright aside from the panicked expression on his face.

“Hey what’s your name?” Izuku reached his good hand out with the wet cloth to the boy.

“Kota,”

“That’s a cool name, mine’s Izuku,” He held the cloth closer, and waited for Kota to take it. “why don’t we get out of here?”

Kota frowned but tentatively took the wet fabric. He started crawling out, when a loud crash resounded between the two quirk users. They both flinched but Izuku kept gesturing to coax the boy out.

Kota seemed to be stone-faced, but Izuku saw the way the kid’s lip wobbled.

“You’re doing great y’know?” He tried to smile reassuringly, as another crack reverberated and the structure made a grating sound.

“Keep your head down and the cloth over your nose and mouth and you’ll be fine.” He wheezed and tried to ignore the agony that gripped his chest curdling with the smoke that forced itself in his lungs.

“I’ll make sure you’re safe,”

Kota nodded hesitantly before crawling beside Izuku to the door.

Izuku’s chest felt like it was caving in on itself and his head pounded. The smoke filling lungs didn’t help, nor did the arm that burned in pain, as he cleared hot debris that had fallen in their path. The fight seemed to be getting loud, and Izuku didn’t dare to look back. 

When they reached the opening where the door closed the two stood up, Kota moved towards the door with Izuku’s back towards him. 

At the moment several things happened.

Kota was able to get through the door before the roof of the room began to collapse. Several pieces of glass shot through the air and into Izuku’s side, consequently from Shouto and the villain tumbling and breaking a window that led four floors down. The roof collapsed then, while Izuku turned, picked up Kota, and started running down the stairs.

He was in the safety of his mother and Izuku moved to continue looking for injured civilians alone in the debris. His chest hurt but he pushed forward, probably just some bruised ribs.

The villain was apprehended, and Shouto had yet to see Izuku among the other medical personnel. He spotted Izuku’s partner from that mass casualty incident, and jogged over.

“Have you seen Midoriya?”

“Deku? Not in a while now that you mention it,” Yosetsu frowned.

“He went into the building,” Todoroki tried. The volunteer shook his head. 

“The man who saved my son-” A woman, who sat with her son who was being treated, interjected. “I think he went off by himself to look for others to help,” 

He thanked her with a bow and hurried to find Izuku

There’s debris surrounding the streets, and Todoroki sees a strange lump on the ground. He gut churns at the possibility and he has no choice but to see what it could possibly be.

And suddenly it’s like all the air from his lungs is gone.

He’s running, and stumbling over himself. He’s such an idiot, there’s no way it can be-

“Izuku?”

His throat is hoarse and his body moves by itself kneeling next to the man, relief pouring into his When Izuku blinks at him.

He’s here. He’s alive.

But there’s something wrong- something that chokes Todoroki. The way Izuku looks dazed and confused, and is lying on the ground. There had to be a reason he hadn’t gotten up sooner, gone to get help. He could’ve been taking a break or short rest but the way his chest stutters and laying limply makes his skin crawl because Izuku doesn’t look good.

“Izuku, oh fuck, are you okay,” He tries to get his panic under control and stay focused. He’s never been good at handling these kinds of emergencies.

Izuku takes a moment to respond, swallowing, and his voice weak.

“Not really,”

The relief in his body morphs into adrenaline.  He could feel his senses sharpen and blood rush like he was about to battle a villain. Instead of making him feel emboldened and ready, it makes him feel sick. He doesn’t want this feeling, there’s nothing to fight, Izuku was going to be fine, he was probably just tired or bruised and needed to be treated by someone with a healing quirk and it would be okay.

He texts his location to emergency services, Yosetsu, his personal medical team, Recovery Girl, anyone who could help because the way Izuku sounds and looks isn’t okay.

The rubble and ash beneath him is a dark and wet puddle. His hands tremble when he moves to remove Izuku’s black jacket. It’s sticky and his hands tint red with blood.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck there was so much blood, and shrapnel stuck in Izuku’s side.

“Izuku- Izuku you’re bleeding,” His voice slightly shakes for some reason.

He feels like someone used his own quirk against him. Frozen and numb. How much blood has Izuku lost?

He convinces himself, everything will be fine. Gritting his teeth and forcing his body to move and do something . 

He has to, there’s no other way this can end. It’s Midoriya Izuku, after all. He’s too important to Shouto to lose now.

He’s the most important of all the people he’s ever loved.

Shouto has always savored the comfort of the cold, but the clammy feeling of Izuku’s hand in his makes his stomach turn. Izuku looks at him like he’s the sun, but Shouto feels like a collapsing star, being torn apart from the inside out with the way he’s looking at him. Like he’s about to die.

“Shou-” He coughed and blood dribbled from his lips. “Fuck.”

Todoroki can do nothing but stare in horror. He looks so pale and people aren’t supposed to fucking bleed out of their mouths. Something is so horrifically wrong and Shouto’s heart gnaws at itself because he doesn’t know what to do. He’s never felt more helpless than in this moment-- Izuku needs medical attention, and Shouto can’t do anything.

“Hey, I need you to stay with me,” He winced as he let out a soft laugh, “Can’t have both of us go into shock.”

Shouto doesn’t find this funny. Not when Izuku is bleeding out front of him

“You- Do you remember what I did for Bakugo?” Todoroki stares and gives a slight nod.

“I- I need you to use your fire to cauterize some of these?” He starts pulling up his shirt to reveal wounds Shouto almost gags at. He shakes his head, he- he can’t--

“Shou, I know I don’t look great, but that’s why I need you to do this for me,” Izuku grabs him with a trembling hand. It’s resolute, and Shouto feels like he’s going to be sick.

“How do I do this?” Izuku lets out a shuddering sigh of relief, and explains.

With hands shaking and jaw tense, Todoroki sets a low flame in his left palm. With his right, he holds the gash together.

Shouto wishes he could forget Izuku’s screams.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He sobs and mumbles into Izuku’s hair. 

“Shh, Shouto you did amazing,” He runs his fingers through the hero’s hair, hushing and reassuring him. “Thank you.”

Shouto shakes and clutches him carefully closer. He can’t stop hiccuping these broken sobs. Izuku doesn’t look better. He doesn’t feel warmer. Shouto doesn’t want this to be the last memory of him.

“The ambulance is coming, I’m going to be alright, okay?” Shouto in the crook of his shoulder gives a small nod, but he can’t ignore the shake, the strain, the shudder, the crumpled sound of Izuku’s lungs with every inhale and exhale. He feels himself heave and loses the rhythm of his own breathing. He just- He just can’t control the shuddering and gasping sobs that scrape from his chest. Breathing was supposed to be so easy, why couldn’t Izuku, why couldn’t he -

“Breathe with me Shouto,” Izuku’s cold fingers brush against his cheek. Todoroki pulls away to look at Izuku properly. His eyes are droopy, but his gaze is unwavering. Todoroki admires the level of calm Izuku is able to maintain while he’s breaking apart, he thinks distantly. He’s so strong and Shouto doesn’t understand how anyone could think that Midoriya Izuku was useless. He was beautiful and strong and made his world spin. Midoriya Izuku was everything.

But Midoriya Izuku is human. His breathing is frail, like tissue paper crumpling and unfolding.

“It’s going to be okay,” Izuku smiles and lifts his cold fingers to his cheek, brushing away hot tears that blur his vision. He hadn’t even realized he was crying.

“I love you, Shou,” He whispers so faintly, Todoroki thinks he’s imagined it. But his pale chapped lips move subtly and the loving warm look in his eyes says otherwise.

He says it like he’s saying goodbye, and he can feel his heart constrict and being torn out of his chest with his words. The words he wants to say back, stay stuck in his throat, he chokes and he feels like he’s suffocating just like Izuku. Except he’s not the one with blood on his lips, he’s not the one whose cold and whose life is seeping away, he’s not the one with eyes growing duller by the moment.

Izuku looks so tired, and Todoroki Shouto can’t blame him when his eyes quietly drift shut. The sirens grow loud, and Shouto can’t keep track of Izuku’s breathing anymore.

Todoroki Shouto isn’t a hero, he decides.

He isn't-  wasn't  able to save someone who’s saved so many lives--

A pair of hands takes Izuku from his arms. Another place a silver blanket over his shoulders. The voices around him are muffled, he hears sirens drift away distantly.

His eyes are staring at someone’s face, but he can’t recognize them or what they’re saying. He can’t feel anything. He lets his eyes slide shut.

Someone places a hand on his shoulder. His heavy eyes open slowly.

“-outo, we’re going to ta-,” He dips back under. He doesn’t care about what they’re saying. This world doesn’t exist. It shouldn’t.

There are noises, but he doesn’t want to hear. He doesn’t want to hear that Izuku is-

Before he knows it, someone is shouting his name and his world is tilting.

The walls in the room are stark white. It takes a bit for his eyes to adjust to the light, and he feels floaty. Calm. He doesn’t know how but he’s sitting in a hospital bed. 

“Fuckn’ finally,” The man beside him sits up, arms crossed. He almost seems torn between angry and worried.

“Bakugo,”

“Yeah Half-and-Half, what the fuck?” Bakugo’s definitely angry now. He should’ve put Momo as his emergency contact he thinks faintly

“What happened?” He asks quietly. Bakugo’s anger drops suddenly. A somber stony look takes its place. This isn’t right Katsuki is never this serious. Has something happened to one of their friends? The floaty feeling he has is ebbing and Todoroki feels panic lace through him. Cold in his veins, his memories are still scattered and he tries to pull them together.

He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, “Doc says you went into shock after, y’know,”

Shouto stops breathing as he begins to remember. And then Shouto does know. 

Blood, burns, dull green eyes comforting him, cold hands. His breathless voice, soft and quiet, reassuring him, while lungs collapsed inside.

Todoroki grips his sheets with white knuckles and his vision blurs.

“Anyway, your boyfriend or whatever’s in surgery right now,” The words don’t make sense, and Todoroki’s head snaps up.

“What?” Frost coats his arms. The temperature in the room drops.

“Yeah, he was in critical condition, but they think he’ll be okay,” Katsuki says.

Shouto starts getting up.

“Hey, slow down IcyHot, didn’t you hear me-” Shouto stands unsteadily and attempts to move past him.

“Move,”

“I said he’s in surgery-” Bakugo blocked him with his arms, standing firm.

Todoroki’s lips quiver when he says this. Midoriya Izuku was okay. He was in surgery but he was alive. Shouto felt his knees buckle and Bakugou caught him.

He shuddered a sob and grabbed onto his friend.

“Yeah I know, I know,” Katsuki stiffly patted his back. He led him back to bed and continued to pat and rub his shoulder.

They talked for a few hours, before Katsuki left, threatening him to pick up his damn calls and text him a check-in every once in a while.

A nurse came by later to check on him. He felt better knowing Izuku was okay and the nurse prepared him to be discharged the next morning.

“Is Midoriya-” 

The nurse stopped at the door. With a brief nod and a low voice, “He’ll be in the recovery ward tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” he breathed.

Shouto checked out in the morning, after a fitful night of sleep.

He went to the directory, giving his identification and asking to see Midoriya Izuku.

He stood outside the door of the room. It was cold and stark white, too clean,and smelled too sterile. Wires and cords coiled onto the man lying in bed. The curtains were drawn back allowing light to filter through verdant hair. He seemed pale and sickly. Shouto felt a deep ache in his chest and walked over to the side of his bed.

Izuku’s chest steadily rose in tempo with the noises of the machines around him. His cheeks were gaunt and littered with freckles. There were bags beneath his eyes as if he hadn’t slept for weeks. He looked like how Shouto felt. He kept repeating his mantra, Midoriya Izuku is alive, Midoriya Izuku is alive, he’s alive.

He collapsed in the chair beside him and ran his hands through his hair. Shouto sniffled and wiped away tears that threatened to fall.

He’s alive.  

Izuku seemed to be still sleeping. He reached out to brush strands of hair that swept across his face.

“Shouto?” He peaked at Shouto through half-lidded eyes. His lips parted and made a quiet noise. 

Oh fuck, he was going to cry again.

“Izuku, I thought you were-” His voice was hoarse- he couldn’t even say it. 

Izuku was more awake now, concern etched in his brow. He reached a cold hand out and pressed it against Shouto’s cheek. The other threaded his fingers in his hair. Oh- the crying wasn’t stopping, fuck.

“I know,” He thumbed away a stray tear. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“Don’t be I’m just-” He took a shuddering, steadying breath. Shouto took the hand that rested against his face and held it.

“How are you feeling,”

“Honestly? Tired,” his smile glinted as bright as ever, and Shouto wished Izuku didn’t need the oxygen mask and he could kiss him desperately.

He settled for taking the hands and pressing a hard kiss on each knuckle.

“I’m happy you’re alive,” 

Everything was really okay- They were okay. Izuku hummed in contenment, and Shouto hadn't heard such a beautiful sound.

“Yeah, I’m happy too,”