Archive of Our Own

"Okay, but fuck braces."

Changbin chuckled at his friend, who was wincing as he poked at his newly tightened braces. "How about you stop touching them so they won't hurt as much?" he suggested.

"They'll still hurt!" Jisung said.

"But not as much."

"It doesn't matter. My teeth are about to shatter."

"That's what you said last time you got them tightened."

"I mean it this time!"

"You said that too."

"Shut up, midget!" Jisung said as he slammed his bag against Changbin. The older stumbled from the sudden contact, nearly hitting other students in the hall. He quickly apologized before shooting the younger a glare.

"That was unnecessary."

"Oh no, it was completely necessary."

"And you didn't have to bring my height into this."

"Yes, I did. And you should be grateful. I almost looked right over it."

"You think you're funny," Changbin deadpanned as Jisung broke out into laughter. He smirked.

"Yup. I could be a stand-up comedian." Changbin laughed.

"Already doing a great job at that."

"Thank you." After a moment, Jisung frowned. "Wait—"

"Heya, mates!"

The two stumbled as an arm wrapped around their shoulders. They looked over to see Chan, a wide grin etched onto his face as he glanced between his two friends. "Well, aren't you hyper this morning," Changbin said with a raised eyebrow.

"He's always hyper, Binnie. This isn't new," Jisung said. Chan giggled.

"Guilty. But!" His friends flinched at the sudden shout. Other students stopped and stared, but Chan either didn't notice or didn't care. He jumped in front of his friends and turned, walking backwards as he talked to them. "Today I actually have a reason to be this hyper."

"Did you chug Red Bull?" Jisung asked with wide eyes. Chan shook his head.

"Coffee?" Changbin asked. Chan shook his head again.

"Red Bull and coffee."

"I didn't chug anything!"

"Did you inject it into your veins?!"

"No!" Chan rolled his eyes and grabbed his friends' arms. "Just c'mon!" He began to run, dodging and weaving through the crowds as he practically dragged his friends along behind him.

"Channie!" Jisung cried. "Slow down!"

"Where are we even going?!" Changbin asked. Chan shot him a giddy smile over his shoulder.

"You'll see!" he said.

Soon, the boys found themselves in the back garden. Surrounded on either side by large shrubs and tall plants, Chan led them inside until they found a circle of stones. "We gonna do a cult dance?" Jisung joked. Chan laughed.

"Shut up and sit down," he said, practically bouncing on his stone as he looked at them eagerly. Exchanging amused glances at their friend's excitement, Changbin and Jisung sat on two stones across from him. "Look up," Chan said, leaning back and glancing up at the sky. The other two slowly looked up. The sky was a deep blue, void of any clouds and allowing the sun's rays to wash over everything below.

"Above us, right now, are one hundred billion stars," Chan started. "Each one shines so brightly, and yet most people barely give them a glance."

"That's sad," Jisung said. Changbin hummed in agreement. Chan sighed.

"I don't want to be like that." The two looked to see their friend still looking up, a wistful expression on his face. "I want to shine so bright that people will have no choice but to look. I want to shine so bright, people can't look away." The blond sighed before a grin returned to his face as he looked back at his friends. "I want all of us to be like that." And with that, he reached into his pocket and pulled out two little envelopes; one red and one black. He handed the red to Jisung and the black to Changbin. "Open it!"

Chuckling, his friends obliged, opening their respective envelopes and bringing out a gold keychain in the shape of a star. Each had a small gem in the middle; Jisung's red and Changbin's black. "Channie, these are so cute!" Jisung exclaimed.

"Where'd you even get these?" Changbin asked.

"Not telling," Chan said. Changbin exchanged a look with Jisung.

"Probably got them at Dollar Tree."

"Probably."

"Excuse me?!" Chan shrieked, causing the other two to laugh.

"Aw, don't be like that, Channie," Changbin said, placing a hand on his friend's leg when he crossed his arms and pouted. "I was just joking. It doesn't matter where you got these. I love it. Thank you."

"Thank you, Channie!" Jisung said, bouncing over and wrapping an arm around him. Chan's pout was quick to melt into a smile.

"Hold up." Reaching into his pocket again, Chan held up his own star keychain, the gem now blue. "My friends," he started, climbing on the stone and holding out the star. "With these is a promise that we will shine, not as bright as the other one hundred billion stars above us, but brighter than them.

"We will show those stars who the true stars are!" Jisung yelled, stepping up beside him.

"And we will become the brightest stars the world will ever know!" Changbin yelled as he climbed up. All three boys looked up and raised their keychains in the air.

"STAR DOMINATION!"

"WILL YOU NERDS SHUT THE FUCK UP?!"

The three looked over to see a boy and a girl emerge from the hedges, uniforms messed up and lips swollen. The girl scoffed. "I'm fucking over this shit," she said as she grabbed her bag and marched out of the garden. The boy grabbed his own belongings before flipping the three off and storming after her.

The three watched them go before looking between each other and busting out laughing.

"Okay okay okay." Jisung hummed thoughtfully as he and his friends walked home from school. "Would you rather... not eat for twenty-four hours or not sleep for twenty-four hours?"

"I'll be able to survive a day without food," Changbin said. "But I'll die if I don't sleep."

"Joke's on you," Chan said. "I already don't sleep." Chan yelped and crouched as his friends began whacking them with their bags.

"What have we said about that?!" Jisung yelled.

"You need to start sleeping, Bang Chan!" Changbin added. "If you don't, we'll make you!"

"Okay okay, I get it!" Chan said. "Just please stop hitting me!" With one last whack from each, the two boys finally let their friend get up and breathe. "Jesus Christ, I almost died..." Chan muttered in English.

"I don't know what you said, but I know it's overdramatic as hell, so shut up," Changbin said as he continued to walk, smacking Chan upside the head as he passed him. Jisung followed suit.

"You wouldn't even know I was the oldest..." Chan muttered in English again. He started after his friends, but suddenly stopped when a building across the street caught his eye. He grinned. "Guys!" he called, switching back to Korean as he waved his arms to get his friends' attention. The two stopped and looked over to see Chan pointing excitedly across the street. "Come over here!" When they were by his side, the two found Chan pointing at a building with a simple three lettered sign.

The KZQ Entertainment building.

"That's where," Chan said. "That's where we're gonna shine." Changbin raised an eyebrow.

"As idols?"

"Why not?" Chan said with a slight shrug. "We're all good rappers. And we can produce. There's no reason why we shouldn't at least try."

"But idols. And at KZQ..." Jisung wrung his hands nervously. "You sure we're cut out for that?"

"We're cut out for anything. We just have to try." His friends' expressions remained conflicted. Chan pulled out his keychain. "Come on, guys," he said. "Don't give up before you really tried." He held out his keychain in front of the building, glancing at each boy either side of him. "We're in this together. Star domination, right?"

After another moment and an exchange of glances, Jisung let out a breath and brought out his own keychain. He raised it so his star was touching Chan's. "Star domination," he said with a smile. Chan grinned, and the two turned to Changbin. He sighed.

"Eh, what the hell." He pulled out his keychain and held it out with the other two. "Star domination."

"We're gonna make it there one day," Chan said, nodding in determination before looking at his friends. "Together."

"Ji, do you really have to play that thing now?" Changbin asked as the three boys were walking to school one morning.

Jisung scoffed, not tearing his eyes from the screen held in front of him. "This isn't just any 'thing,' Changbin. This is Pokémon, and I gotta catch 'em all."

Chan laughed. "Oh my God, that was so smooth." Jisung lightly shrugged.

"I'm telling you, I can be a stand-up comedian."

Changbin scoffed. "Yeah, right."

"Stop doubting me, Seo," Jisung said. "I have the comedy and you know it. I made Chan laugh."

"Chan laughs at everything. That's not a big achievement." Chan gasped.

"Not true!"

"Yes it is." He ignored the blond's pout and continued. "Besides, you need to have the 'stand-up' part too."

"You're making no sense, Bin," Jisung said. "I already—"

"Whoop!" Changbin yelled as he lightly shoved Jisung. The boy, taken by surprise, stumbled forward, the device in his hand slipping from his grip and crashing onto the sidewalk. The boys stopped and stared at the screen, glitching and webbed with cracks in the glass.

The silence was broken by a chuckle from the ravenette whose solution to every situation was to laugh it off. Plus, he'd be lying if he said he didn't find the situation at least a little funny. He hadn't even pushed Jisung that hard!

"I'm sorry," Changbin said, attempting to hide his smile behind his hand. "Jisung, I'm—" He snorted. "I'm really sorry—"

"What the fuck are you laughing at, you ass?!" Jisung suddenly yelled, pushing Changbin back. The older stopped laughing, the smile quickly falling from his face upon seeing the rage in the brunette's eyes.

"Ji, I really am sorry."

"Do you know how much that fucking costs?!"

"It's just a toy, Jisung. You can get—"

Jisung barked out a laugh. "Just a toy, huh?" he mocked. "Well how would you like it if I broke your shit?!" He launched himself at Changbin, grabbing for the phone in his pocket.

"Get the fuck off me!" Changbin yelled, pushing Jisung back, harder this time.

"Why are you getting so mad?" Jisung taunted. "It's just a toy."

Changbin snarled. "You little piece of—"

He didn't get to finish as Jisung launched himself again, plummeting the older with fists and kicks. Changbin was quick to fight back, and soon both boys were yelling and shoving each other in the middle of the sidewalk. "Guys, stop!" Chan yelled. It felt like he was watching the scene in a movie. He didn't know what to do. He stepped forward and attempted to push himself between the two boys, but they refused to budge.

A flash caught Chan's eye, and his eyes widened. Changbin's keychain, which had been previously attached to the strap of his bag, had snapped off and been flung out into the street. Chan was quick to run after it, kneeling down and gently picking it up. The black gem glistened in the sunlight as the star sat in his palm, and he let out a sigh of relief upon seeing lack of damage done to th—

"CHAN, GET OUT OF THE STREET!"

Jisung's sudden scream snapped Chan out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see a truck barreling towards him.

The star keychain flew from Chan's hand and landed at Changbin's feet on the sidewalk.

Two weeks later, Changbin held Chan's keychain as he stood with his and Jisung's family in front of Chan's coffin.

The ceremony had progressed with neither boy saying a word to each other. It was only in that moment when Jisung lifted his head and stared at the motionless body of his best friend that he turned to the other grief-stricken boy beside him. "This is all your fault, Changbin!" he yelled. It cut clear through the sorrowful silence, and everyone tensed up. Changbin's eyes grew wide as he looked back at the younger, who was looking at him with the same rage he did the day of the accident. "If you hadn't pushed me, this wouldn't have happened! None of this would have happened if you just stopped acting like an asshat!"

"Jisung, enough," his father said sternly, setting gentle but firm hands on his son's shoulders and pushing him back.

"I hate you, Seo Changbin!" Jisung screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Chan is dead because of you!" With a loud sob, Jisung yanked himself out of his father's grip and ran out the room. Changbin turned away and stared at Chan's keychain lying in his palm before slowly walking up to the coffin.

Chan's blond hair was slicked back. His eyes were closed, skin pale as his arms rested in his stomach. This wasn't Channie. The one with the radiant dimpled smile. The one who was always bouncing with excitement even at the most minuscule of things. The one with the most infectious laugh that just radiated happiness. The one whose presence could light up an entire room.

That boy was gone forever now.

With shaking hands, Changbin reached over and placed the keychain in his folded hands. The blue gem caught the artificial light from above, twinkling. The same twinkle was in Chan's eyes. But now those eyes will never open again.

"Changbin," his mother started, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Don't listen to Jisung, he's—"

Something broke inside Changbin at the mention of his friend's name, his words replaying in his head over and over, louder and louder each time. He didn't wait for his mother to finish speaking. He turned and ran out of the funeral home, out into the pouring rain. But he didn't care. He just kept running. Aimlessly. He didn't care where. He just had to get away.

"Chan is dead because of you!"

Chan is dead because of me.

Chan is dead because of me.

Soaking wet and unable to run any more, Changbin fell to his knees, held his head in his hands, and screamed.

Only a couple weeks later would Changbin find out that Jisung and his family moved away.

And he didn't even say goodbye.

Standing at the crosswalk, Changbin stared up at the building across from him. It was still unfathomable to think that he would be walking inside, alone, in only a few moments.

For the past five years, he had avoided walking past the place by all means necessary, even if it meant taking a longer route to and from school. It felt wrong to him, on so many levels, to chase a dream he had made with them on his own. He had decided he wanted nothing to do with that career path.

That was before the audition flyers started showing up at his doorstep. Countless of them, every single day. Combine that with his family's constant nagging that he should at least try, you get a boy who's so tired of it all that he'd be willing to, in his mind, betray his best friends and "try."

He spent an hour by Chan's grave beforehand, apologizing over and over again. When he got word that he had passed, he went back to Chan to apologize again. "You wanted to do this together," he had sobbed. "I'm so sorry I'm doing it without you..."

Still, he was in far too deep now, so that led him there. Across the street of the very place he had been striving to avoid for years. The company he was now a part of.

KZQ Entertainment.

Holding his right wrist close, Changbin walked across the street and stopped outside the entrance. The future he had dreamed of was right through those doors, but it only belonged to him now.

I'm so sorry...

Inside, the grip on his wrist only tightened as he walked along the halls. Peering into the various practice rooms he passed, he found trainees dancing and stretching. All had determined gleams in their eyes that made Changbin cower away. "Jesus Christ, why am I here...?"

"Because you have talent."

The sudden voice made Changbin nearly jump out of his skin, and he turned to see a blond freckled boy standing behind him. The boy offered him a sheepish smile. "Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Changbin released a breath. "It's okay," he said. "Just nervous."

The boy smiled. "New trainee?"

Changbin let out a sheepish chuckle, rubbing the back of his head. "Is it that obvious?"

"A bit. It's okay, though. Everyone here's been in your place."

"Even you?" The boy only smiled.

"You'll find what you need in there." He pointed down the hall at a black door.

"Ah, thank you." Changbin bowed to the boy before starting to walk down the hall.

"Good luck, mate."

Changbin stopped. "Wait—"

When he turned around, the boy was nowhere in sight. He forced himself to take deep breaths.

Chan isn't the only Korean-Australian.

Clutching his wrist tighter, Changbin made his way to the door the boy had pointed out. He stood outside for a few moments, taking deep breaths to compose himself. "It's gonna be fine..." he said to himself. "Everything's gonna be fine..." He squeezed his eyes shut as the grip on his wrist tightened.

Channie, give me strength, please.

"The door's open!" a voice suddenly called from inside. Changbin snapped out of it. They must have heard him talking to himself. Fighting down the rush of embarrassment that threatened to overtake his cheeks, he slowly pushed the door open and entered.

He found himself to be in a studio, recording equipment and headphones scattered around the space. Someone was occupying the desk near the back, the computer monitor lit up with dozens of sound files. As the figure turned around, Changbin quickly bowed. "Hello," he said. "I was told to come in here. I'm the new trainee, Seo—"

"Changbin...?"

Changbin's heart dropped, and he slowly looked up at the figure. He had obviously aged, his features sharper and braces gone, but it was still him. Him with the same unruly brown hair. Him with the same large brown eyes.

Him.

Han Jisung.

Although years had gone by, the rage in his eyes and the words he spoke at Chan's funeral still flashed clearly through Changbin's mind.

"I hate you, Seo Changbin! Chan is dead because of you!"

Holding back a sob, Changbin turned and rushed out of the room. He knew he shouldn't have gone there. Not alone. Not without Chan. What was he thinking?! This was just the world's way of punishing—

"Changbin!"

Changbin felt himself being pulled back as someone grabbed onto his wrist before he reached the corner of the hall. He was yanked to a stop, the hallway silent except for the thumping of music and the steps of the trainees along with both boys' breathing. "Changbin..." Jisung said again from behind him. The ravenette didn't turn to look back at him. Not at the boy who blamed him for Chan's death. Not at the boy who left him without a word. Not at the boy who left the crushing weight of guilt on his back.

Still, Changbin couldn't find it in him to run. His feet seemed rooted to the floor, his wrist still trapped in Jisung's grip. After a moment of silence, Jisung let out a shaky sigh. "I know I don't deserve your patience," he said. "But... I've been wanting to talk to you for a long time, and..."

The grip on Changbin's wrist loosened, and was soon gone entirely. The sound of small hiccups made him turn around to find Jisung looking down at the floor, shoulders shaking as tears rolled down his face. "I-I know I was t-terrible to you... a-after Channie died... I-I blamed you for it..." The hiccups turned into great sobs as Jisung covered his face with his hands. "But it's not your fault! It's my fault too! You were right, it was just a stupid toy, but I was being p-petty and instead w-we lost something i-irreplaceable... We lost Channie...! And I'm sorry I left without telling you and I'm sorry I left you alone to deal with the grief and I'm sorry I gave you all the blame and I'm sorry for auditioning without you both and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but I miss you and I love you and I'm sorry..."

Now reduced to a shaking, sobbing mess, Jisung collapsed to the floor. He couldn't speak any more. He could only continue crying his heart out as he gasped for air. He didn't expect Changbin to forgive him. He knew he didn't deserve his forgiveness. What kind of friend was he, blaming Chan's death on him entirely and moving away without telling him? No. He didn't deserve Changbin's forgiveness. The older wouldn't even—

A gentle hand was placed over his, and Jisung slowly looked up to see Changbin kneeled on the floor in front of him, tears of his own rolling down his cheeks as he looked at the younger. "It's okay," he said. Jisung's lip quivered.

"Binnie..."

"I know." Changbin pulled the brunet into a tight hug, burying his face in his hair as the younger sobbed into his shoulder. "I know..."

"One hundred billion stars."

"One hundred billion and one stars," Jisung corrected, a ghost of a smile tracing his lips. Changbin nodded, lips quirking upwards, and turned back to look at the sky. "Which one do you think is him?" Jisung asked.

"Definitely that one." Changbin pointed at a star shining brightly above the KZQ building.

Jisung laughed. "Of course. He did say he wanted to shine brighter than the rest."

"And of course he'd be above KZQ," Changbin added. "Probably to prove his star domination."

"And to get a height advantage." Jisung nudged Changbin's shoulder with a teasing smile. "You could use one of those."

"Shut up!" Changbin whined, shoving the younger away, who only laughed. His frown morphed into a smile, and soon the two were sitting comfortably on a bench across the street from the KZQ building. The night air was crisp and cool, the sky dark and dotted with billions of stars. But there was one that Changbin couldn't look away from, which is exactly what Chan had wanted.

"Hey." Jisung's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he turned to find the brunet staring at him with hopeful eyes. "Do you still have it?"

Changbin chuckled. "Of course." He held up his right wrist to show Jisung his bracelet, woven black threads all intertwining and allowing the gold star with a black gem to hang and swing, never to be flung off again. "You?"

Jisung smiled. "Never take it off," he said as he reached into his shirt. He pulled out a long brown cord, a gold star with a red gem looped through. Changbin nodded in contentment, and the two fell silent again as they looked towards the KZQ building, the windows brightly lit. But of course, not as bright as the star that shone directly above it.

Out of the corner of his eye, Changbin watched Jisung hold up his star in front of the building, the very same way Chan did the day he revealed his dream. Changbin followed suit, raising his wrist so his star was touching Jisung's. "We're gonna make it one day," Jisung said with a smile. Changbin smiled back.

"Together."

He intertwined their fingers, their hands lowering and resting on their laps. Lapsing in a comfortable silence again, Jisung laid his head on Changbin's shoulder, the older leaning his head on the younger's in response. A cool wind picked up, and as the two stared at the KZQ building, they could've sworn they heard a voice being carried through the wind.

"I love ya, mates."