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Drowing in your love

Summary:

Five times Harry said "I love you" to Draco, and the one time Draco said "I love you" to Harry.

pt 1 of my Drarry 8th year series

Notes:

This is my first fan fiction, constructive criticism is welcomed! I'm thinking of making this a series with Harry and Draco, I've got a lot of ideas for this 8th year world. Plus a lot of things mentioned in this story I'd like to explore more. Let me know if you think I should or have any other ideas.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

One- February

Draco walked down the halls, his flushed face held high despite the embarrassment thrumming inside him. He hadn’t wanted the school to find out that way. About his relationship with Harry that was. The boys had only been dating for two months and Draco was already happier than he’d ever been. But there was one problem, he had no idea how to say this.

It didn’t take long for Harry to realize how bad Draco was at vocalizing his emotions. After being forced to suppress almost all of his feelings for so long, Draco hadn't the slightest idea. how to say what was on his mind. This didn't didn't bother Harry, he could say enough for the both of them.

And it wasn't as though their relationship was void of romance. Draco showed his appreciation in other, less verbal, ways. Such as a sweet kiss on the cheek between classes, or his teasing remarks that may seem bitter but Harry knew well were just his way of showing affection. They definitely had their problems to work through, but no relationship was without faults. 

 


 

Draco sneered at a snickering fifth year and continued strutting to potions with as much dignity as he had left. Which was to say, not a lot. Draco slumped down awkwardly next to Harry, who was smiling like the sun. The small smile that tugged at the corner of Draco's lips was inevitable. Even with Draco's guilt and discomfort weighing on him. 

“I’m sorry,” Draco whispered as he stirred their potion. The classroom was loud enough now he felt comfortable they would not be overheard. Harry frowned at the blonde. 

“Why?” Harry moved to add something into the potion, which Draco swatted out of his hands. Harry frowned but didn't protest the action. He hadn’t gotten much better at potions through the years. Even with all the help from he was getting. 

“You wanted to keep this- us a secret,” Draco explained. He still refused to meet Harry's eyes, something that annoyed the Gryffindor immensely. 

“It’s not your fault,” Harry said. Fondness for the Gryffindor bloomed in Draco’s chest though he still felt he was to blame for the embarrassing incident. 

“I don’t care if people know, Draco, " Harry reassured him, "Hell, I’ll scream it from the rooftops myself. I’m in love with Draco Malfoy.” The way the words tumble effortlessly from Harry’s mouth startled Draco. In his surprise he sent the cauldron before them toppling over, with a loud bang the contents of their potion spilled onto the floor. 

Needless to say, they got detention. Draco couldn’t particularly bring himself to care. His heart sang and his face flushed the colour of Ron's hair. Harry's words danced through his mind all day as he floated on the high of not having to keep their relationship secret. But he forgot one tiny detail, saying it back. 

 


 

Two- March 

The two panted as they lay beside each other on the emerald sheets, both covered in a thin layer of sweat. Harry broke the silence first with a giggle. His limbs felt simultaneously heavy and light. He felt like he was sinking into the bed but also as if he'd start flying at any moment.

They had had sex before, sure, but it still amazed Harry every time. Something about sex with Draco was so unpredictable. Sometimes it was slow and sweet. Filled with soft caresses and kisses just barely brushing against his skin. Other times, it was passionate and rough. With years of tension sending them crashing together like two waves. Where every inch of his skin felt like it was on fire and as Draco kissed lower and lower the heat overwhelmed and consumed him to point where he could not breathe nor think. This time had been the former.

Harry smiled softly at Draco, his cheeks still flushed. Draco met his gaze with a smile of his own. His silver eyes twinkled with pure adoration. Draco wrapped his arm around Harry’s tan waist and pulled them against one another eliciting a satisfied sigh from his boyfriend. As Harry melted into him Draco’s heart pounded. Harry filled his senses. The feel of Harry’s naked body against his, the smell of his raven hair, the sound of his, now even, breathing. His whole body was concentrated on Harry and Harry only. Hogwarts could go into another war and Draco would not care so long as Harry stayed in his arms. 

He pressed a kiss into the Gryffindor's unruly hair. He had a love-hate relationship with that wretched mop. He loved the way it felt under his fingers, and how it always made Harry look as though he had just been shagged. But his pureblood breeding screamed at him to fix it, make it neater and less like a bird had been nesting in it. Giving into his temptation Draco threaded his fingers in the curly next of hair. Harry tilted his head into Draco's hand, enjoying the casual affection. Between the slow, sensual sex and the soft way that Draco held him now, Harry knew what the blonde was trying to communicate to him. What he was too scared to vocalize and so he spoke through actions instead. 

“I love you too,” Harry professed. Draco’s heart melted once more and the flame inside him grew stronger. His urge to protect Harry from all harm encompassed him and his arms tightened. It was amazing what those three words could do to him.

 


 

Three- April

Meeting the Weasley’s hadn’t gone as bad as Draco had expected. Molly welcomed him with open arms as if he hadn't done terrible things. She hugged him, kissed his cheek, and worried over him as if Draco was one of her own. Frankly, it was almost overwhelming to someone who was still so unused to the love. Bill, Charlie and were, while less enthusiastic, happy to put aside their differences and welcome him. Mostly, they were glad that Harry seemed happy. George, on the other hand, was not as happy too. He didn’t state is disapproval outright, but the way he glared daggers into Draco’s head spoke for itself. 

Draco was concentrated on a very tense game of wizarding chess with Ron while Harry chatted idly with Mr. Weasley about muggle things. Charlie watched curiously on the side lines, enraptured by the tense match. The game before Ron had won, and the game before that Draco had won. This was the be-all and end-all, the defining game, the revelation as to who, truly, was the better chess player.  

As Arthur continued to babble on about the new species of rubber duck he had found, Harry sent a pleading look over towards Charlie. When he finally noticed the teen's gaze, Charlie sighed and removed himself from the chess game to save Harry. Once free, Harry made his way over to his boyfriend. 

“How is it going?” Draco shushed Harry, not even looking towards him as he made his next move. The game continued like this at an agonizingly slow pace until finally-

“A draw? A bloody, fucking draw!” Draco hollered. Ron burst into a fit of laughter, which was only spurred on by Draco’s clear irritation. Harry, against his better judgment, joined in on the laughter. 

“I don’t get what’s so funny,” Draco snaped. Although his lips are twitching in an attempt to hold down his own smile. Harry beamed at his flustered boyfriend and slug an arm around his shoulders. 

“Your adorable,” Harry breathed against his cheek. Draco chose to ignore the way his heart flutters at the statement and lets out an indignant squawk. 

“I am not adorable!" Draco crossed his arms over his chest, pouting at Harry like a lost puppy. Harry felt his heart skip a beat and he resisted the urge to awe at the sheer amount of cuteness. He cursed whoever allowed Draco to be both hot and cute, it was horribly unfair. 

“I agree with he ferret on this one mate,” Ron chuckled. Harry ignored his best friend and instead pokes at Draco’s reddening cheeks. 

“See, adorable.” Draco swat his hand away and glared. He was trying to be angry and it was incredibly frustrating when his body didn't want to comply with that.

“You are the biggest pain in my arse,” Draco drawled. Harry laughed and an overwhelming desire to be closer to Draco took over. However, knowing Draco's distaste for PDA, he grabbed Draco’s hand and pulled him from his chair. Harry lead him through the house until they reach the room where they temporarily stayed. Draco raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow, a question in his silver eyes. Harry looped his arms around Draco’s neck, hugging him tightly. Draco’s heart stuttered and he wrapped his own arms around the dark-haired Gryffindor.

“I love you,” Harry says against Draco’s chest. Draco tensed. He tried to respond, he wanted to respond. He wanted to tell Harry just how much he loved him, he deserved that didn't he? But the words wouldn't come. Harry pulled away from Draco slightly as he sensed his discomfort. Tan hands cupped Draco’s neck. Now Harry could clearly see the distress in his lover’s eyes. “Hey,” Harry said gently, “Don’t stress, my love. Take your time, alright?” Draco bit his lip, worrying it between his teeth. Harry frowned and brushed his thumb lightly rover the blonde’s smooth lip. The action forced him to stop biting down on it. “I don’t need to hear you say it, I know you love me. You show me other ways,” Harry explained, “Like when you let me sleep in on the weekend and bring me breakfast from the great hall. Or when you finish the homework that I’ve fallen asleep doing.” Draco chuckled. It wasn’t uncommon for Harry to leave stuff last minute and then desperately try to finish several things in one go, which usually ended in him falling asleep and Draco finishing the work. 

Draco smiled gratefully at Harry, 

“Thank you.” Harry nodded, 

“Of course, that’s what I’m here for.” Desperate to express how truly grateful he was, Draco surged forward. Their lips connected passionately and Draco tried to put everything into the kiss. He wanted to show Harry how grateful he is for all he’s done to help him, and how wonderful he’s made him feel. Most importantly, Draco wants Harry to know that he is all his. Every single bit of him is Harry’s, every single scar, broken fragment, and snarky remark. He loves Harry with everything inside him, and everything inside him loves Harry.

 


 

Four- May

It hurt to see Harry like this. Tears staining his cheeks as he clutched Draco desperately. Every time it happened, Draco feel helpless. He hated feeling helpless, he hated this reminder that no matter what he tried he could never fully take away Harry’s pain. He could never undo everything he had been through. And that went both ways. 

Both of them experienced terrible nightmares. More often that not they shared a bed so that when one broke down, the other was nearby to put some of the pieces back into place. Sometimes they stayed in Draco’s room an sometimes in Harry’s. But as much as it helped to have one another, relationships couldn't solve this. Love wasn't enough to forget.

Harry and Draco had very different responses to their different traumas. While Harry was more of a crier, Draco rarely cried. He just sat there with a scarily blank expression as his memories haunted him. It always scared Harry just how emotionless Draco went when he was in pain. His father had drilled it into him that emotions were weak and crying was for babies and girls. It was a lesson Draco hadn't yet learned to get over. They both had their demons, their gruesome pasts. Harry losing so many parental figures in life, living with horrible neglect, and having the pressure of the world on his shoulders. And Draco being torn down by the one person who was supposed to love him unconditionally, battered and bruised by his own flesh and blood, and forced to do things that made his stomach churn uncomfortably. 

When the nightmares and memories came to haunt them they took their turns being there for one another. Learning what they needed and what made it worse. While Harry wanted to be held and comforted, cuddled as if his life depended on it, Draco recoiled at any sort of physical touch, wanting only to be comforted by Harry’s voice and the knowledge that all of it is over. 

Tonight was one of the days where Harry had bolted up in bed with a strangled scream, startling Draco awake. As soon as Harry comprehended his dream he had started sobbing. Loud, uncontrollable sobs that stabbed into Draco’s heart. 

Now Draco held onto Harry, running his long fingers through Harry’s sweaty, matted black hair as he sobbed. Draco’s chest twisted painfully every time Harry gasped for air, choking on his own cries. 

“Breath darling,” Draco whispered, “Focus on me.” He breathed in and out, counting in his head. Harry tried to match Draco’s breathing and slowly his sobs quieted and his breathing started to even out. “That’s is darling, you're doing great.” Once Harry had settled down Draco lay back down onto the bed, still holding Harry in his arms. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn’t. Harry shook his head. Draco nodded and the two fell into a comfortable silence just wrapped in one another. There was no reason to speak. Since Draco didn’t know what the dream was about there wasn’t much he could say to help. He didn’t want to risk saying the wrong thing. Draco had learned fairly quickly that unless he knew what Harry was upset about, it was better to hold him than try and console him with words. 

Harry threaded his fingers through Draco’s, holding the hand that was secured around his waist. 

“Thank you,” he croaked. Draco pressed a lingering his on his shoulder, his way of saying ‘you’re welcome’. Harry wasn’t going to sleep again tonight, they both knew that. Draco, feeling like Harry was stable enough, let himself succumb to the heavy feeling of exhaustion coursing through him. Just as he started drifting asleep he heard Harry mutter, 

“I love you.” 

 


 

Five- June

As soon as Headmistress McGonagall had announced the end of the year ball for 7 and 8th years, everyone scrambled to get a date. Luckily, Harry didn’t have to worry about rushing around to find someone to go with as the had with the Yule Ball. This time, he already had a date. At least, he assumed he did. What was the point in having a boyfriend if you didn’t go to events together? But all the commotion had been rather overwhelming and now Harry just wanted his boyfriend’s attention. 

Harry entered the common room, eyes searching for the familiar blonde hair. He spotted him con the couched by the fireplace engaged in some sort of conversation with Hermione that Harry honestly could not follow. Harry made his way over and plopped down on top of Draco. He boy huffed but allowed the Gryffindor to wrap his arms around his waist and lay across him. Draco chuckled and resumed his conversation with Hermione, his hand playing with Harry’s hair. 

Harry frowned upon being ignored, this was not what he had wanted. And he was willing to resort to ulterior tactics to gain Draco's affection. Harry slipped lower so his head was resting on Draco’s thigh in a rather compromising place. Draco frowned at him and Hermione laughed. Once upon a time Hermione found their PDA quite annoying, but seeing as they had so little public endeavors she had learned to let it be. She knew now that showing affection is public was foreign to Draco and understood teasing or bothering him about it would cause harm.

“I think he’s trying to get your attention,” Hermione pointed out obviously. Draco nodded and chuckled seeing the cheeky grin on Harry's face.

“What on earth are you doing Potter?” Draco still called him Potter from time to time, more of a habit than anything. Harry didn’t mind, not at all. He shrugged innocently, 

“I’m just getting comfortable," he then proceeded to burrow his face into Draco’s lap. Draco squawked and hit Harry gently on the head. Harry laughed against Draco’s thigh. 

“You are a nightmare,” Draco groaned. 

“But you love me," Harry teased. Draco flushed and gave Harry all the answer he needed. Harry sat up, resting his back against Draco's chest and letting himself be held properly this time. Draco accepted the embrace and planted a couple kissed along his neck, hand resting in Harry's thigh. It was still surprising when Draco did such obviously scandalous things in front of others, the occurrence being so rare. Some days Draco would kiss Harry fiercely in the middle of the hall, the next day even the slightest hint of a sexual touch sends him blushing and stuttering. It was sort of endearing. 

“And I love you too," Harry muttered. He turned his head to look at Draco. The two had matching dopey smiles as they stared at one another, the world slowly slipping away around them. Harry lost all ability to think for himself when Draco finally kissed him. 

 


 

Plus One- June

As the ball approached Harry and Draco went shopping for dress robes together. Well, really Draco shopped while Harry just tagged along and watched his boyfriend in his natural habitat. He could care less what robes they wore, Draco looked good in anything. Although Harry personally thought Draco looked best with no clothes at all. He even said so, which earned him a lovely morning shag. Ron had complained thoroughly about it during breakfast. 

Harry didn’t understand why Ron complained, they always had the curtains closed and they put up privacy charms and silencing spells. They kept their sex life incredibly private. Ron himself spoke more of his sex life than Draco and Harry did, but you never heard Harry complain. If anything, Harry was starting to think Ron enjoyed thinking about the two of them shagging. 

The robe shopping went well and the ball loomed closer and closer until the night finally arrived. Draco and Harry walked hand and hand to the ball with Hermione and Ron on trailing them. It was an emotional time for everyone, today being the last day at Hogwarts. The night had a bittersweet feel to it. As they entered the great hall, music surrounded them. Luna greeted them briefly in her pearly white dress before being whisked away by Ginny. The two made a charming pair, Draco thought. 

“I can’t believe this is it,” Harry sighed. Draco looked around the room at all of the people he had begun to care so much about. Ginny and Luna were dancing happily to the upbeat music, Pansy was chatting with Blaise and Neville, Dean and Seamus were making out in the corner. Draco shook his head fondly at the two. He didn’t understand why Ron complained so much about Harry and him when Dean and Seamus were infinitely worse. The two did not understand the words ‘personal space’. 

“It seems crazy how far we’ve all come,” Draco exclaimed as he gestured around at all the different houses mixing together, “I mean, Gryffindor’s and Slytherins are getting along. It’s preposterous.” Harry laughed at Draco’s dramatic and scandalized tone. The music changed to a slower song and Harry takes Draco’s pale hand in his. 

“Wanna dance?” Draco nodded and lead Harry to the dance floor. He bowed to Harry, gently kissing the top of his hand. As he came up he smirked at Harry. 

“Oh, should I curtsy now?” Harry asked teasingly. Draco shook his head with a chuckle and his hand fell to Harry’s waist. Harry was a terrible dancer but Draco more than made up for it as he lead Harry in a slow sway around the room. Draco stared down into the emerald pools so filled with love and adoration and he takes a moment to wonder how he got so lucky.

They sway together, lost in the eyes of one another. The room dissolves around them until they’re the only two people on earth. Draco feels so overcome with emotion. Between seeing all his friends smiling and laughing together, his time at Hogwarts coming to an end, and all the time he’s spent with Harry his emotions are all over the place. But throughout everything, there was always one emotion that never wavered. 

“I love you,” Draco breathed. Harry’s lips part in a small gasp, his eyes shining with a thin layer of tears. Harry grasped Draco by the neck and pulled him down to meet him where Harry kissed the blonde with everything he had. Draco felt like exploding. They broke the kiss and Harry stepped away from Draco  with a small shake of his head. Draco worried Harry was upset for a moment, but with the way he smiled at him, Draco knows it's all okay.

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading! Once more, constructive criticism is welcome. Let me know if you think I should write more in the 8th year universe.

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