Work Text:
- to the one bit of starlight -
that always remembers to water my garden
~*~
1.
Logan was halfway up the porch stairs when Patton mentioned the flowers for the first time.
“I’m telling you, Lo!” Patton followed Logan into their new house, carrying boxes behind him. “They were little yellow daffodils, just sprouting behind you as you walked! It was so pretty! ”
“Patton, it takes twelve to fifteen weeks for daffodils to bloom after chilling,” Logan said pointedly, setting his own boxes down by an old, tattered couch in the living room. “Besides, even if there were some growing, I would be more concerned that there is something prompting growth underneath our house.”
Patton giggled, putting his boxes down beside Logan’s. He wrapped his arms around Logan’s waist from the back, going on the tips of his toes to kiss the back of his neck.
“Our home ,” he murmured in Logan’s skin. Logan smiled.
“Yes,” he said, looking around at their surroundings. “It is...a start.”
“It’ll be more than that soon enough!” Patton chirped, taking Logan’s hand and spinning himself underneath it with a squeal. Logan couldn’t help smile, moving his arm more purposefully to properly spin Patton around until he was standing right in front of him.
“I’m so happy ,” Patton said with a sigh and that lopsided smile;
the smile that proved to Logan that he could at least feel love.
“I am happy that you are happy, dear.” He pressed his forehead against Patton’s and kissed his nose lightly. “Now, we must continue on, or we will be late to the neighbourhood barbeque Janene invited us to.”
“Janene?”
“Our neighbour, remember?”
Patton made a small ‘ah’ noise and nodded enthusiastically, already skipping past Logan to grab some more boxes outside.
As he watched him go, Logan sighed; he could definitely love. He could love with all of the love the world had to offer him, for as long as they were offering. He could love the softest, most gentle creature he knew; one who moved with such grace and one whose mind and heart and soul was overwhelmingly admirable.
Yes, he could love him.
And he loved him.
-
“Logan! There’s pink roses on our roof!”
2.
According to Janene, the whole neighbourhood could see the flowers.
It was a special kind of phenomenon that no one outside the small town of Khloris ever noticed. But if you had a house on its terrain, you apparently had flowers growing underneath your feet. Upon mentioning Patton’s observations at the neighbourhood barbeque, Janene had explained the rumours that it was the land’s way of “observing” or “understanding” its habitants. Whatever that meant.
Logan found it borderline infuriating that no one had pursued further research on the matter; that people just walked around their neighbourhoods, complimenting each others’ seemingly magical gardens.
What was even more infuriating was that everyone just...accepted it. Embraced it, even. As if it was normal to hallucinate flowers growing on vines across your windows.
He was still unable to see these flowers, if they even existed. And while he wasn’t keen on keeping a sense of distrust between himself and his partner (he would have stopped playing along if Patton shared his same view) he couldn’t help but remain skeptical.
(He would never admit it to Patton, but the reason he had purchased that rather expensive machine off of Amazon was so he could test the contents of the air in certain areas of the town. It didn’t prove anything abnormal, but it was an interesting experiment.
He read his findings out loud to Patton one night,
and Patton listened to every word.
And when Logan left for work the next morning,
Patton complimented the chrysanthemums trailing behind him.)
Still, he didn’t have much choice other than to embrace the absurdity floating in their town. Besides, it was mostly harmless. And, more often than not, it served as the backdrop to some of the most joyful moments they had.
-
“Why, yellow!” Patton exclaimed as he greeted Logan on the steps to their house. “Someone has an extra poppy in their step today, huh?”
“First of all, I believe you mean ‘hello’; the standard greeting which is first exchanged between individuals seeing each other,” Logan hummed. Then, he leaned over to kiss Patton’s cheek. “Second of all...hello, dearest.”
“Hiya!” Patton giggled. Logan watched as the spot he kissed flushed a soft shade of pink. “How was work?”
Logan couldn’t help but smile. “It was...very satisfactory.”
“ Very satisfactory?” Patton rocked back and forth on the heels of his feet, immediately ecstatic. “Not just satisfactory?”
“Mhm.”
“Ooh that and the yellow poppies behind you! You must have good news!” Patton beamed. “Come, come sit with me! Tell me all about your very satisfactory day!”
Usually, Logan would politely decline, telling him that he had to first shower and prepare dinner as he always did after work. And it was almost second-nature to ignore the ever-growing amount of flower observations from Patton.
But he couldn’t help but oblige upon seeing Patton rush over to their small, wooden porch swing, nearly knocking into his ball of yarn and newest knitting project. That and he did have good news. Very good news, in fact.
“Tell me about your day first,” Logan insisted as he sat down beside him, setting his briefcase at his feet. “I would rather celebrate a mutual achievement than selfishly intrude with my singular one.”
“Intrude?” Patton nudged him lightly. “Well, you’re not being int- rude if you do! So don’t worry about that kind of intrusion-confusion you’re on about, mister!”
“...did you eat the cookies Janene sent us?”
“ Several .”
Logan shook his head. “She puts too much chocolate in those, you know. And those pastries surpass the recommended amount of sugar one should digest in a day.”
“I know! ”
Logan couldn’t help but laugh at how starry-eyed his Patton looked. Patton gently rocked the swing back and forth, then lifted his legs to sit cross-legged on the cushions once it gained enough momentum.
“Anyway, my day was alright!” Patton chirped. “Had a breakthrough with a client today! It’s been a slow couple of weeks, but I think things are looking up!”
“That is fantastic news, Patton.” Logan leaned his head against Patton’s shoulder, placing a hand on his thigh and smiling. “You’re doing an exceptional job.”
“Aw, Lo!” Patton giggled again. “You’re gonna make me grow peonies everywhere.”
Second-nature. Logan just chuckled.
“Now! We must celebrate you!” Patton lifted Logan’s head off his shoulder and held his hands into his own. “Tell me everything!”
A pause. Logan felt as if he too was holding his breath.
“Well, do you recall that promotion I recently inquired about at my work?”
Patton’s eyes widened.
“ Shut up. ”
Logan broke into a wide grin, finally exhaling as he nodded. Patton squealed, practically lunging at Logan to give him a tight hug.
“Shut up shut up shut uppp!!! ”
“Do you...actually want me to–”
“No!” Patton gasped, pulling back to hold Logan in front of him by his shoulders. His grin almost hurt to look at. “Never ever ever shut up!”
“Then why did you–”
“I’m excited, you goofball!” Patton brushed the hair out of Logan’s eyes with a small giggle. “Besides, if I’m shushing anything, it’s the guilty feeling in your head that I can hear from a mile away.
( Fuck. He could love him forever.)
“Be proud of yourself, silly.” Patton wrapped Logan into another hug. Despite being shaken around so much, Logan couldn’t help but laugh. “Gosh, you deserve this so so much– I’m so proud of you.”
Logan’s breath hitched.
“You…”
Patton drew himself back ever-so-slightly, leaving a mere inch between him and Logan. He smiled.
“I’m always proud of you, Logan.” He kissed Logan’s nose, sending a rush of warmth throughout his entire being.
He then looked down at the spaces between each wooden plank of the porch and smiled.
“Peonies,” he whispered, resting his forehead against Logan’s. “I’m happy too, Lo. So so so happy.”
3.
“Patton, take a deep breath.”
“He–” Patton gasped, wrapping his arms around himself– “how– I can’t–”
“ Patton .” Logan took the phone out of Patton’s hand and held them, squeezing gently. “Patton, let’s sit down, please–”
“ Don’t touch me! “ Patton sobbed, pulling his hands back and covering his mouth. Tears rolled down his cheeks and over his hands. He began backing away from Logan. “It’s– I’m a– I’m–”
“Patton–”
“ Fuck ,” Patton choked out, stumbling past Logan and heading in the direction of their backyard. “I can’t– I need–”
Logan just nodded, carefully catching up to him and clearing out as much clutter as he could so Patton wouldn’t get hurt. He slid open their backyard door for Patton to rush through.
The cool, evening air hit Logan almost sharply, and he hoped that Patton could feel the same thing. He watched from a hesitant distance as Patton fell to his knees on their grass, folding into himself like a ball and clutching at each strand.
(He doesn’t need you to make this worse.
"You don’t know how to feel, after all.” )
“Hey,” Logan finally said. He walked over to the grass and sat a comfortable distance away from Patton. “Is this enough space?”
Patton didn’t lift his head, but he nodded. Logan sighed.
“...What happens outside your workplace is not your responsibility.”
Patton let out a huge sob; one that felt like it echoed through the whole neighbourhood.
Fuck. Logan cleared his throat.
“Tell me about the flowers,” he blurted out. Patton lifted his head slightly.
“The–”
“The flowers,” Logan said again, even less sure of himself. “Tell me what they...what they look like to you right now.”
Patton let out a scratchy laugh. “You don’t believe in the stupid flowers.”
Logan’s heart broke.
(He didn’t, but he believed in him.)
“Tell me about them anyway,” he said insistently. “I assume they are in our presence, no?”
Patton sighed and, after seemingly deliberating his offer, sat up; his hands firmly gripping the grass they were sitting on. He looked around him, all spacey in that way that used to scare Logan. (It still does, but he at least knows enough about it that it’s not as worrisome.)
Finally, he spoke up.
“I– I see marigolds,” he whispered. “And– and yellow carnations.”
Logan closed his eyes in thought for a second and then opened them with a sigh.
“My dear,” he whispered, scooting a bit closer to him. “It is normal to feel grief and disappointment. Those are common reactions to a tragic occurrence such as this. I am so deeply sorry that you have to experience this because you do not deserve this, my starlight.”
Patton curled even more into himself.
“But what is important is that he is still here,” Logan continued. “And I am going to be here to assist you with whatever you need in order for you to cope during this difficult time.”
He watched as Patton took a deep breath; the first one in hours. When he exhaled, he felt as if the air around him grew still and less frigid.
“I already know with absolute certainty that I will witness you lift yourself up when we make it through this; stronger than you were ever before.” He moved closer to him again. “You did not fail, no – we are simply just trying again.”
A beat of silence. Patton sniffled. “T-There’s purple hyacinths now.”
Logan sadly smiled. A common one with Patton.
“You do not have to apologize.” He patted the space next to him. “I’m here. And so are you.”
Patton sobbed a bit more, but eventually smiled through his tears and curled up in Logan’s lap. Logan held Patton and leaned over to press a kiss in his hair.
“I got you,” he murmured in his curls. He felt Patton settle into his lap, the tenseness in his shoulders loosening. He ran his hands through his hair, kissing it again and again every few seconds.
“Forever?” He heard Patton mumble. He smiled.
“And a little bit after that,” he whispered back.
And they sat there for a while, underneath the starry skies above them, in what Logan assumed was a sea of yellow and purple flowers. Though, he was never really sure.
-
Later on, Patton asked him how he knew what each flower meant. And Logan, who would never admit to researching floriography (or to any accomplishment at all), just said it was a coincidence.
4.
Patton rarely got mad; but when he did,
Logan could only assume there were petunias everywhere.
“You–”
“Patton, please, not today–”
“ NO!” His voice bounced off the walls and hit Logan in the chest. He shut up immediately. “Just...please – please tell me you’re joking.”
Logan averted his glance. “...I had to speak with them.”
“With your parents?! “ Patton screamed. “Who– who haven’t even bothered to call you in the last, what, five years?! “
“Patton, I–”
“You promised you’d never talk to them again,” Patton hissed. “I thought we agreed that– that it’d be wrong to. Because they were miserable people– people who– who made you miserable. ”
He stung more than any thorn ever could. Logan tried to imagine some growing through the floors, as if trying to sympathize with what he could be experiencing. Of course he was angry. What Logan did was stupid . And he didn’t even mention the outcome…
“They’re my parents, Patton,” he said instead. He tried to plant his feet to the floor firmly, but Patton’s pacing made him shrivel up where he stood.
“They are not your parents,” Patton snapped. His breathing was sharp and quick. “Parents– parents don’t just tell their kid that they don’t have the capacity to feel – parents don’t kick their kid out of their fucking house and– and abandon them and leave them to be fixed by someone else.”
Logan’s breath hitched.
“I…” He tried not to let it hurt him, but seeing Patton also wince at his own words made him feel somewhat validated in his pain. Still, he stood his ground.
“I did not ask you to fix me,” Logan whispered, just as sharply; as if to get him back.
Stupid .
“ Logan. ” Patton’s voice was even more troubling when it was quiet. “How could you..."
“It’s true.” (Why was he still talking?!) “I didn’t need you to–”
But he never finished.
Because that’s all it took
for Patton to leave.
-
5.
Patton found Logan outside in their backyard,
surrounded by roses.
Roses of every colour; yellow, pink, blue, black, and white. The grass underneath his feet was bright green– in fact, everything around him was bright.
“L-Logan, what–”
And that was when he saw the ring.
“ Patton .” It came out as a loud, choked sob.
Patton took a shaky step towards Logan, who shakily got on one knee.
“What are you…”
To his surprise, Logan laughed.
“We– we were never really good at appropriate timing, were we?”
Patton covered his mouth with wide eyes.
“I called my parents,” Logan began shakily, “because I wanted to tell them that I was going to marry you.”
Patton’s breath hitched.
“You were right,” he continued, wiping his eyes. “Parents don’t do any of the things you had mentioned a-and I know I broke that promise we made out of good intent but…” He sighed. “But they are my parents. And I wanted them to be part of this moment.”
He closed his eyes, almost shamefully.
“Ultimately, it was out of spite, wasn’t it?” He laughed quietly. “In the end, I just wanted to prove to them that I could .”
“C-Could what?”
Logan stood up from his place and smiled. “That I could feel.”
A wide grin spread across Patton’s face.
“Oh, Logan …” He sobbed, rushing over to hold Logan’s hands. He giggled as Logan’s glasses fogged up from him crying, and he reached over to take them off, opting to rest them lopsided on his head. Logan laughed again through his tears.
“Patton,” he whispered, looking up in his eyes. “I feel everything with you. I– I feel perfect, unadulterated happiness and love when I am with you. I feel joy, I feel peace, I feel...I feel things that I didn’t even know exist – ”
He held Patton’s hands and took a deep breath.
“I feel everything for– for you. ” Logan rested his forehead on Patton’s and broke into laughter as their tears fell to the ground. “I want to feel everything with you– the ups, the downs, everything– for the rest of my life.”
1.
And as Patton kissed him, Logan watched
as a rainbow of colours blossomed around their home.