Chapter Text
The cool breeze whipped Korra's face as they flew through the starry night, but that wasn't the reason she couldn't sleep. Looking around, the others had all dropped off; Bolin, Mako and Wu had looked particularly exhausted after their ordeal. Only Opal was still awake, piloting Juicy back to Zaofu.
Then she looked down at Asami, asleep with her head resting in Korra's lap. Carefully, she stroked her hair, still shaken by what had happened over the last few days. Sleeping now seemed impossible. What if she drifted off and couldn't protect her? It seemed like, by becoming Asami's girlfriend, she'd only put her in more danger.
“You're still awake.” Opal looked over her shoulder at her, and Korra shrugged.
“So are you.”
“Juicy can fly on his own, but he prefers it when I take the reins,” she explained, pausing to reach over and pet her bison. “You're worried about her, aren't you?” she asked quietly. Korra sighed.
“I know that she can take care of herself. But first Tokuga kidnaps her, and then Commander Guan - they know they can use her to get to me. And if she hadn't come with me and Kuvira to talk to Guan this never would have happened.” She looked down at Asami again, who looked so peaceful and defenceless in her arms. “When I was with Mako we were too busy arguing for me to worry about him getting hurt. But now- I can't let this happen again.” Opal nodded.
“I worry about Bolin sometimes. But he's safe now in Republic City with Zhu Li - although I know he'll get into some kind of trouble eventually,” she added, rolling her eyes.
“Is it hard, being away from him all the time?”
“Yeah. But he's busy too, he has his own work to do. And I come back once a week, at least.” Korra thought for a moment about Asami and Future Industries. Things had been so hectic over the past few months - perhaps it was time to settle down a little, and let her focus on her own work.
“Maybe that's a good idea,” she said slowly. “If Asami doesn't come with me on Avatar business any more.”
“You can't take that choice from her.” Korra and Opal both looked around; Su had been lying across from them, listening in. “I know you want to protect her. And I understand. Being in the Avatar's life is a huge commitment. My mom dedicated her life to keep the city that Aang built safe. Then she left society for good, she'd had enough. But she knew what she was doing, Korra. She knew the risks - we all do.”
“But Asami's not a bender.”
“Sokka wasn't a bender either, and he was one of the best chiefs the Southern Water Tribe ever had. If Asami wants to help you, and fight for you, that's her choice. And she won't appreciate it if you take it away from her.” Korra frowned, looking away. She was unwilling to admit that Su had a point; Asami would not be happy about being left behind. But keeping her so close made her vulnerable.
As their conversation trailed off, she stared up at the sky, wishing yet again that she could still communicate with her past lives. They were likely to be the only ones who would understand what it was like, putting loved ones in danger.
But it felt so natural to have Asami in her arms. The idea of being away from her for any extended period of time wasn't something she wanted to revisit - the years Korra had spent recovering at the South Pole had been so difficult without her.
What was she supposed to do?
Being back in Republic City hadn't improved Korra's mood at all. She was restless, and irritable, and still couldn't sleep; every time Asami left in the morning for work, she wondered whether her girlfriend would come home that evening.
The constant reassurances from Tenzin and Zhu Li and everyone else that the Earth Empire had given up the fight weren't doing anything to help. In fact, it left her even more on edge. Was she the only one in the city half-expecting something bad to happen again?
“Can't sleep?” Korra flinched, her hands moving into a protective formation, but it was just Asami, perching on the windowsill beside her. “Sorry,” she said, covering Korra's hands with hers. “I didn't mean to scare you.”
“It's ok. I haven't- I haven't been sleeping well lately,” she mumbled.
“I've noticed,” she replied, reaching out to run a hand through Korra's hair. Usually, that gave her comfort; right now, though, it felt like a burden.
“Did I wake you?”
“No.” Asami shook her head, turning to glance back at their bed. “I haven't been able to sleep much either. I keep thinking about what happened. I can remember flashes of it - when Guan tied us to those chairs, and when you and the others bundled me onto the airship - but there are still whole days missing. And it scares me,” she finished quietly.
Hearing those words felt like a kick in the gut - she should have been able to rescue her sooner.
“I'm so sorry, Asami, it was all my fault, the whole plan was my idea-” But Asami cut her off, a small smile on her face.
“I'm not blaming you, Korra. None of us had any idea what Guan was up to. Who knows? Maybe I'll remember everything one day. I just... I hate not knowing. You won't tell me, but I know that I tried to hurt you. I can see it in your eyes. That's the worst thing.”
Korra was still adamant that she would not repeat what Asami had said and done to her while brainwashed - part of her wanted to protect Asami from the truth, but mostly, she was trying to ignore it herself. She didn't want to have to relive any of it.
Which was why she was so determined now to say what she needed to.
Reaching over, she pulled Asami close, wrapping an arm around her and brushing a strand of hair away to kiss her forehead. She was no stranger to the feeling of wanting to keep people safe, but never had it felt so concrete as when Asami was in her arms like that.
“Tenzin says the Northern Air Temple's nearly finished,” she began.
Hardly anything had remained of the site after the Red Lotus's attack. The Air Nomads had worked hard to restore the temple during Korra's absence, with the help of earthbenders to fix the structural integrity of the ground it stood on. But it became complicated as Kuvira took over more and more of the Earth Kingdom, and since much of the temple was difficult to get to, only the most advanced earthbenders had been able to make an impact. And with the Air Nomads spread thin, the rebuild of the temple hadn't exactly been a priority.
“Really?” Asami looked up at her, smiling. “That's great!”
“Yeah. They going to hold a ceremony to restore the spiritual energy there, Tenzin's leading it. And they want me to be there.”
“So when do we leave?” she asked. Korra sighed, not meeting her eyes.
“Tomorrow, but... I thought it might be better if it's just Tenzin and I.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you have all your work on the housing developments. And then I have to go over to Ba Sing Se to help Wu bring together a council of representatives. So I'll be gone a while.” Asami frowned, pushing herself up out of Korra's arms to look at her.
“What's this really about?” she asked, her brow furrowed.
“Look, I just think it's better if you stay here for a while.”
“Did I do something wrong? Korra, talk to me.” Korra shook her head, pressing her hands to her face.
“No, no- I did something wrong. Guan would never have captured you if you'd stayed here, I should never have let you come with us.”
“I wanted to come. I wanted to help you. It wasn't your fault, no one knew the Earth Empire was still fighting back.”
“But don't you see? I don't know what will happen out there and you're in danger when you're with me. And I can't keep doing that.”
“Korra, I'm not helpless,” she said, standing up and folding her arms. “I can handle myself. Besides, what are you expecting to happen at the Air Temple?”
“I don't know, but I wasn't expecting Tokuga to kidnap you and I'm not gonna let that happen again!”
“And what happens when you get into trouble and you need me?”
“I don't-” Korra cut herself off, but it was too late - Asami knew exactly what she was going to say.
“Fine, I get it. You think I'm helpless, so I'll just stay at my desk job while you go off saving the world.” Her voice was calm, but Korra could see fires raging in her girlfriend's eyes.
“You know that's not what I meant,” she replied, gritting her teeth and wishing she'd just kept her big mouth shut.
“No? I don't remember you ever telling Mako to stay home while you went off on Avatar business.”
“Mako's not-”
“Not what? A non-bender? I can fight just as well as he can - or are you just planning to meet up with him while you've got business with Wu?” Korra's mouth dropped open.
“Why would you even think that?” she said. Mako had been the last thing on her mind when she'd decided to bring the subject up, and the suggestion that Korra would go back to him would have been laughable, if she hadn't been so angry about it.
“I don't know, you're the one who's not making sense! But fine, go do what you want - at least I'll be finally be able to do some work without any distractions.”
“Oh, so you think I'm a distraction?” said Korra, her hands balled up into fists. The conversation had slipped from her control completely, but she couldn't help raising her voice; Korra had thought she'd been doing something nice for Asami by dropping into her office every now and then.
“Well clearly you think I am! You know, I never wanted you to take Kuvira along but I helped you anyway because I trusted you! And do you know what she said, while we were getting ready to see Guan? It must be hard being the Avatar's girlfriend. And I defended you, I said that I was exactly where I wanted to be, protecting you! But maybe she was right - maybe you only keep me around if I'm useful to you!”
“What?! How could you even say that?” Korra fought to keep herself in check, but she could feel heat generating at her fingertips, and gusts were starting to catch the curtains behind her as they flapped around. “I'm trying to keep you safe!”
“And I'm trying to tell you that I don't need protecting!” she shouted, and the fact that Korra could see tears forming in her eyes only infuriated her more. This should have been a calm, rational conversation.
“Fine! Maybe I should just leave! Maybe you don't need me at all!”
“Fine!”
For a moment, they stood there facing each other, red-faced and eyes blazing. Then Korra turned, grabbed her bag, and stormed out of the room.
She didn't know where they were going, but as long as Naga could put as much distance between them and the Sato mansion, she didn't care. The anger within her was quickly ebbing away, but her conviction that she was doing the right thing remained. Perhaps Asami couldn't see it now - and perhaps Korra had gone about it the wrong way - but she was likely to be safer in Republic City than with her on Avatar business.
Plus, even Asami herself had admitted it was harder to get work done with Korra around. Even if the accusation hurt, at least it was the truth. They both had important jobs to do - they might as well get on with it without getting in each other's way all the time.
Naga jumped the fence into Avatar Korra Park - it never got any less weird to think of it as that - and settled down by the water. Korra huffed, dismounted, and rubbed her eyes as she slumped onto the ground. It wouldn't be the first time she'd slept rough here, but it was certainly the first night she'd spent away from Asami in a long time.
As she settled against Naga, getting warm, worry started to creep up on her as she thought about what she'd said before she left. They'd had disagreements before, but Korra realised this was their first proper fight, and her words echoed in her ears.
Maybe you don't need me at all!
Had she just broken up with her girlfriend? Sure, Asami would be safer if they weren't so close, but still... this wasn't how she'd intended for this to go.
“I really screwed up, didn't I, Naga?”