Archive of Our Own

"Rain..."

"...F**k the rain," Sunggyu cursed, extending his hand from out of the shelter of the awning of the supermarket. He hated the rain. It was cold, wet, and he was never prepared for it. You'd think he'd learn and carry an umbrella with himself at all times, or at least during the rainy season. But he didn't. He had enough things to carry as it was. His grip tightened on the plastic grocery bag in one hand and the white cane in the other. The raindrops sounded like nothing more than white noise in his ears, blotting out other sounds, necessary sounds. Why are car engines so quiet nowadays? It's like they want to make life difficult for me. 

Sunggyu groaned and felt his way towards the bench that he knew was near the entrance. Sadly, he's had to do this before, wait for the rain to stop during what should have been a quick stop at the market. Ramyun isn't worth this, he thought as he dug through his coat pocket and pulled out his iPod. The only good thing about this situation was that Sunggyu's favorite radio show was going to be on in a few minutes. He sat on the bench as he turned on the the player and crammed an ear bud carelessly into his ear. But instead of hearing the deep, velvety voice he was used to, his eardrums were harassed by a high-pitched yet motherly voice.

"Our regular MC is not able to come today due to personal reasons, so I, MC Candy, will be filling in...Buing buing!"

Sunggyu shut the radio off before the MC could play whatever disaster she considered to be music (she had filled in before and played Kpop non-stop on what was supposed to be a rock station. How MC Candy kept her job constantly perplexed Sunggyu). He then groaned and slouched onto the bench, allowing his head to roughly come in contact with the brick wall behind it. "F**k the radio." His day was just getting worse. And now all he had to listen to was the rain, which was falling harder now, making it hard for Sunggyu to hear his own thoughts.

"Hi."

Sunggyu got up with a start. He couldn't even hear the other approach him. And the voice sounded familiar. But I thought that...

"Can I sit with you?"

"Oh! Ah...sure," Sunggyu gave in, moving down the bench to give the other some room. He then felt the bench shift underneath him and the warmth emanating from the body that was now sitting right next to him. The man was sitting so close to Sunggyu that their thighs were brushing together. Too close, Sunggyu thought as he shifted as far down the bench as it would allow.

But the man apparently didn't get the hint about personal space and leaned forward. "What were you listening to?" he asked in a low voice, as if he were asking Sunggyu to tell him a secret.

"A radio show," Sunggyu hated that he was being so giving to a man who kept invading his bubble, but more than being annoyed, he was curious. After all, this was the closest he's ever come to meeting a celebrity. "Your radio show actually."

“Huh? How did you know?” the MC was pleasantly surprised, and Sunggyu felt the bench shift again and the other’s knee graze his thigh. The man had turned to face him.

Sunggyu smirked, gripping the cane in his hands. “I’m good with voices.”

“Is that because…” the MC dropped the question, realizing that it wasn’t an appropriate subject to be breached by a perfect stranger.

Sunggyu let out a small laugh. “I’m blind,” he filled in the unfinished question. He shrugged. “Yea, probably.” And he left it at that. The conversation fell apart, and all that could be heard again was the soft thudding of the water dropping on the pavement. The MC eventually turned back around, sitting properly again, but still staying close to the blind man. Why is he still here? What is he waiting for? Sunggyu sighed. While he still had the man here and he had already asked him an invasive question, he might as well return the favor and answer some questions swirling in his mind. “Why couldn’t you do the show today? You seem fine.”

The MC chuckled. “Candy did say it was personal, right?” he reminded the other. And before the conversation could lapse into another bout of awkward silence, he asked another question. “So you’re a fan of mine. Why?”

“I like the music,” Sunggyu answered back bluntly. “And the stories,” he added as an afterthought. There was no way he was going to admit that he liked the man’s voice and found it soothing (actually it sounded even better in reality than over the crackling air waves). He could hear the MC inhale, preparing to ask more questions on the subject. Sunggyu cut him off before he could, “I don’t like Candy though.”
“Yea, she’s annoying, isn’t she?” the other agreed. “The only reason why she even has the job is because she’s dating the station manager.”

“I knew it!” Sunggyu blurted out.

A deep chuckle echoed in Sunggyu’s ear, and he could feel the other turning to face him again. “Yea, the worst part about it is that I can’t complain about her or else I’d get in trouble by her boyfriend. But she’s really stupid and has horrible taste in music. I mean, it’s a friggin’ rock station. You can’t play any of that bubble-gum pop-shit!” his voice got louder as he started to get more and more worked up. Then he exhaled loudly. “You can’t even imagine how many complaints we get about her.”

“Is she really that pretty?” Sunggyu asked, wondering how she could be given a free pass so readily.

“Not really,” the MC responded. “I’m prettier.”

Sunggyu scoffed, “You’re a radio show host.”

“So?”

“They don’t really have a reputation for being handsome. I mean, if you really were handsome, you’d be on television,” Sunggyu argued and then immediately bit his tongue. Was this really how he was talking to his favorite MC? He must be making a wonderful impression on the other.

And so he was surprised to hear the other laughing light-heartedly. “Obviously you haven’t been listening when I read my fanmail. They think I’m handsome.”

“For a radio host,” Sunggyu retorted. He winced. Why was he doing this? Or why did the other bring this out in him? Sure he listened to the other talk almost every day, but they were essentially strangers. Why was he acting so familiar?

“True,” the other yielded unexpectedly. There was then a rustle of plastic bags, and the bench felt lighter. He had gotten up. He was leaving, slowly. “So are you waiting for someone or…” Apparently he had a habit of leaving off his questions.

Sunggyu put his hand out from underneath the awning and was met with several cold drops of rain. He immediately retracted and wiped his hand dry on his pants. “I’m waiting for the rain to stop. I forgot my umbrella,” he answered. “I hate the rain,” he muttered under his breath.

“But without the rain, nothing would grow,” the MC argued. Then a slight creaking occurred, followed by a pop. He must have opened up his umbrella.

“F**k growing,” Sunggyu thoughtlessly blurted out. The other sputtered into a slight chuckle at his remark. Sunggyu began to grow flustered. “I mean, I know why we need rain. Shit needs to grow. We need it to live. But it doesn’t mean I have to like it. It’s cold, wet, and loud.” He brought his coat closer to his sides; the cold was already penetrating him and he hadn’t even stepped out into the rain yet.

“How about I walk you home then? I have an umbrella,” he then shook the said umbrella for emphasis, the plastic rustled.

“Ah, no. You don’t have to. The rain will end soon. I’m okay. I’ve done this before,” Sunggyu politely declined.

“Obviously, you didn’t see the report. It’ll be raining all night long, and I can’t have one of my fans spend a night on a bench because he was too afraid to get a little wet.”

Sunggyu immediately stood up, gathered his belongings, and stepped out into the rain. The water immediately soaked straight through his clothes and into his skin. He shivered, but he wasn’t about to let the other see how much he disliked it. “I’m not afraid, and I don’t need your help,” he barked back. He then moved his cane back and forth in front of him, searching for any obstacles, and especially puddles. The last thing he needed now was drenched shoes and frozen feet.

Hurried footsteps followed him, splashing up the water as he carelessly stepped through the puddles, and suddenly Sunggyu was shielding from the rain. “Let me walk you home…please? It’ll make me feel better. I’ve had a pretty shitty day, and I felt like I’ve been a shitty person. So will you please just let me do this?”

“Fine,” Sunggyu gave in, slowing down his step. He was a bit grateful that the other was so forceful. It’ll at least make him a bit drier. “I live just down the street.”

“Wow! And you couldn’t walk that far in the rain?” the other teased.

“You know what? You are a shitty person.”

 Once he reached the steps of his apartment, the man finally left Sunggyu with a goodbye and a request to keep listening to his show. Sunggyu nodded and said goodbye as well as he unlocked his door. And he finally allowed himself to colorfully curse the rain and the cold as he lifted his bags onto the countertop. He paused suddenly noticing that the weight of the bag was heavier than it should have been, after all a cup of ramyun and bottle of tea shouldn’t weigh that much. “Did I buy something else?” he thought outloud, rummaging through the bag. His hand quickly met with a box. He surely didn’t remember plucking that from the shelves. Carefully, he opened up the box and gave the contents a sniff. Cookies, they were cookies, and quite bland ones at that. Sunggyu smiled recalling all of the stories that Sunggyu had heard about the MC feeling obligated to give his fans gifts because they had given him so much. And Sunggyu wasn’t an exception.

His phone rang in his pocket. Sunggyu sighed, knowing exactly who’d be calling him at this time. He didn’t receive many calls, but there was a particular someone who constantly pestered him. “Hello?” he answered the phone with a slightly annoyed voice.

“Hey, Gyu!” a chipper woman called a back from the other end. “How are you doing? I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to make you dinner tonight. Did you get it okay?”

Sunggyu groaned. “I’m a grown man, Noona. Not a child.” He then peeled the lid from the ramyun cup and searched for the water boiler, placing his cup underneath it and listened to it fill up with water. “I can make dinner.”

“I know, but it’s raining. So I didn’t know if you’d go out or order in or just starve.” His sister knew him too well, but also worried too much. After Sunggyu had moved from his hometown to Seoul in an attempt to prove to his overbearing parents that he could be independent and he could do it in the nation’s capital, a few months later his sister followed him there, foiling all of his plans of independence and smothering him just like his mother had. But a part of him was grateful for it. Living on his own had been harder than he thought it would be, but he was still far from incapable of taking care of himself.

“I’m making dinner now,” he announced, taking a cookie from the packet and loudly chewing on it as proof. He could hear a sigh of relief from his sister.

“Ramyun?”

“Eung,” he replied, slightly taken aback. He could sense a lecture about eating a balanced meal forthcoming so he changed the topic. “You’ll never guess who I met at the market.”

“Who?”

“Nam Woohyun.”

“The MC? Wow! You’re so lucky. He’s really handsome.”

“So I hear.”

 Everyone, it’s the rainy season, so take care of yourselves and keep dry. You don’t want to catch a cold…actually, the rain reminds me of my friend. He hates the rain. He hates how it’s wet, cold, and loud. He just hates it. And when I said that we needed the rain to grow…well, huhu, I can’t really say what he said to me in response. But he basically said that there’s no way he’d ever like the rain. Friend, let’s not hate the rain. After all, our friendship grew in the rain.

Here’s a song just for you.

Rain- I still don’t have any memories because I’m just a twenty year-old girl.

Rain- in my earphones, the singer is singing a song about the rain.

What is she so sad about? Why is she about to cry?

Rain-please forgive me for being numb, not everyone cries over sad movies.

Rain- I like you or dislike you according to my mood but

Tears are about to spill out right now

It’s raining too so the wetness is natural

The refraction is natural, my stuffy nose is natural

“The tempo is off,” Sunggyu commented from his seat. “Try again.”

“O-okay, seonsaeng-nim,” the student stammered, and dissonance filled the air. The piano keys clashing against each other. Some were pressed softly, and other’s too hard. Sunggyu sighed. He had shaken this boy’s confidence. That wasn’t good. It was their first meeting, and he was trying to test his student’s abilities. It was quickly evident that his biggest problem wasn’t his skill, but his self-esteem.

The blind man felt his way to the piano bench and sat next to the small boy. He could feel the boy’s nervousness easily. “Don’t worry,” Sunggyu assured him. “You’re doing just fine.”

“I-I am?”

“Eung,” Sunggyu answered as his fingers caressed the smooth ivory keys in front of him. “And I know that I can be a bit scary.” The gulp from the kid was audible; he was caught. But Sunggyu just laughed. He was used to this. In short their lives, children don’t come across many disabled people, and many times, Sunggyu would be the first blind person that they would interact with. The children normally did not know how to respond, how to treat him. And he was often told that he had a stern face. And when he tried to soften it with a smile, he was told that he looked creepy. There was no way he could win.

“But I’m here to be your friend,” Sunggyu continued, playing a soft and happy tune.

“My friend?” the boy squeaked.

Sunggyu nodded. “Me and music will be your friends, so don’t be afraid. If you make mistakes, your real friends don’t care, right? Just as long as you fix it.”

“R-right.”

“Well, neither do me and music, alright? We’ll be here as long as you want us to be,” Sunggyu ended his usual speech and his song. He then reached for the boy’s head and ruffled his hair. “Cute,” he cooed. And he felt the student relax under his touch. “How about we try the song again?”

“Okay!” the boy responded with much more confidence, and he even played that way as well. The room soon was filled with a simple but impeccably played tune. The boy was just a beginner, but Sunggyu was starting to see the promise in him.

“Seungho?” the room now echoed with a familiar voice.

“Ahjussi!” Seungho leapt from off of the bench, leaving Sunggyu and his lesson behind.

“Hey, buddy! How was your lesson? Good? Good!” he spoke in a cheerful voice to the small boy. But then he cleared his throat, gathering Sunggyu’s attention. “Um, I hope you don’t mind me picking up Seungho earlier. I…Oh! It’s you!”

“Yea, it’s me,” Sunggyu coolly responded, gripping the edge of the piano to pull himself up and walked over to the piano’s end without his hand ever leaving the polished wood. “Is Seungho yours, Woohyun-ssi?”

“Oh, no, no,” he adamantly denied. “He’s a son of a friend. I’m just picking him up as a favor. But you’re his teacher? If I had known that you’d be teaching him…” He let the question drift off again.

“You wouldn’t let him be my student?” Sunggyu suggested. He had many potential students pulled from his program in spite of his amazing credentials after their parents learned that he was blind. It was understandable, frustrating, but understandable. They assumed that a blind man could not teach them to read sheet music or the arrangement of keys, but what they didn’t know is that Sunggyu knew music better than most teachers in the city. In a way, his blindness was a gift because he relied more on sound than sight, making his ear sharper and more attuned, but it also gave him drive, a reason to work hard and prove himself to others. As a result, he became one of the most sought after piano teachers in Seoul.

“No,” Woohyun argued. “I would’ve picked him up even earlier,” his voice was light and teasing. “But I have to leave right now…the show.”

“Go,” Sunggyu commanded, curious as to why the man was still lingering. His show was going to start in less than a half-an-hour.

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you around then. Come on, buddy. Let’s go.”

“Bye, seonsaeng-nim! See you next week!”

I learned today that sometimes a love for music knows no bounds…My friend is blind, but he loves music. Just imagine how hard that would be, learning how to read and play music without seeing, well, anything…Wow! huhuhuhu…But this story has a happy ending. He’s now a premiere piano teacher, and now I’m paying him a lot of money to teach my friend’s son. Friend, I hope that you’re worth it, and if not, I’ll make you pay…a lot..huhuhu.

Sunggyu grabbed the phone from his pocket and pressed a number on his speed dial. After a few rings, he was greeted by a gruff voice on the other end. “Hello, I’m the friend that Nam MC is talking about right now.” Sunggyu had no idea what possessed him to call the radio station (and yes, he had it on speed dial for contests and requests, but he’d never imagine that he’d call in for this).

“Oh really? This is interesting. I thought that he was making you up. He tends to do that. I’ll patch you through.”

“Wait, no, I just wanted to…” Sunggyu objected. But what did he really want? Wasn’t it this? A chance to ask the MC why keeps talking about him with such familiarity? He did want to be material for the radio host’s cheesy stories. He liked hearing them, but hearing them and being a part of them were two very different things.

“Hello?” Woohyun answered his call. He could hear the other’s voice both over the phone and on the radio. Sunggyu reached over and turned the radio off, eliminating the echoed effect.

“Yah! I’m not your friend,”  Sunggyu yelled into the phone, now glad that he turned the radio off.

“Huh?” the host was dumbfounded for a few moments, but he must have recognized Sunggyu’s voice because he then said, “Oh! Everybody, this is my friend! Say hello, friend!”

“Ah, um, hello, everyone. I’m Kim Sunggyu. Nice to meet you,” he greeted the audience and slapped himself for divulging his name to a faceless mass.

Woohyun chuckled at Sunggyu’s fumbled greeting. “Sunggyu-ssi,” he spoke the name slowly and for the first time. “What do you mean that you’re not my friend?” there was a slight whine in his voice.

“That you’re not! We only met twice! So can you stop telling stories about me?” Sunggyu begged.

“But you said that you liked my stories,” the whining was more pronounced now.

“I don’t like them when they’re about me,” Sunggyu answered bluntly.

“I can’t help it if you make good stories,” Woohyun’s voice grew more quiet and he sounded just like a child who had been reprimanded. “But if you don’t like it…”

“Just tell me first, okay?” Sunggyu gave into the sad host. “I don’t like being caught off-guard.”

“Okay, Sunggyu-ssi!” Woohyun quickly returned to his normal cheery voice. And Sunggyu felt like he’d somehow been had. “And as a thank you, here’s a song just for you!” The call cut off there, and Sunggyu sighed as he turned on the radio again. His apartment was then filled with the upbeat chords and a shaking voice, but there was something else he’d rather hear, deeper and more soothing.

Trickle trickle, at the sound of the rain

I went out to the porch but I don’t have an umbrella

The wet sky has already gotten dark

I’ll just spend the day looking out the window at this rate

Please end rain, stop stop

I’m getting depressed again.

Please stop like a refreshing shower

The momentarily passing connection, the string of that moment

I can’t miss it.

Before her day is over.

Please stop.

“Do you like coffee?”

“Huh? Um, yea I do,” Woohyun answered. He was at Seungho’s lesson again, and just like he’d said the time before, he came earlier. In fact, he dropped Seungho off and never left. He stayed and listened to the boy fumbling through a difficult song; all the while, he offered Seungho encouragement. And now it was time for the two of them to leave, and Sunggyu founded himself practically shouting out that question.“Why?”

“I was thinking that if you’re going to keep telling me stories like I’m your friend, we might as well be friends,” Sunggyu reasoned. His voice sounded calm, but inside he was a mess for fear of rejection. “Let’s go get some. You can bring Seungho too.”

“I can’t,” Woohyun bluntly answered. “The show.”

“Oh, right,” Sunggyu sank back down on the bench, not even realizing that he had been standing. “I forgot.” He then heard footsteps shuffling towards the door, and Seungho saying goodbye as it seemed like he was dragging Woohyun away. And the door slammed shut. The room was still.

Until there was a creak,  the door opened again. “But…we can meet afterwards?” Woohyun suggested.  “For dinner? Is that okay?” Now his voice sounded unsure, and it made Sunggyu smile.

“That’s perfect.”

After Seungho dragged Woohyun away again (he cutely did not want his Ahjussi to be late for work, and Sunggyu could hear the boy’s soft grunts as he pulled the man as they were making plans for dinner that night and exchanging phone numbers), Sunggyu hit a number on his speed dial.

“Hello?” a distracted voice answered the call.

“Hey, Dongwoo!”

“Hey, hyung!” Dongwoo’s voice grew softer. Soft clunks echoed onto the line. He had set something down. “I just picked up groceries. We’re having spaghetti!” Sunggyu chewed on his lower lip. He had hoped on catching the other before he went to the store.

His sister, fully aware on how lazy and accident prone her little brother was, set up a rotation of meals for him so that he’d never have to stand in front of an open flame. She cooked most of his dinners, but every-so-often Dongwoo would come over and make whatever simple meal he had just recently learned to make. And tonight it was apparently spaghetti.

“Oh, then I’m too late,” Sunggyu said with a reluctant chuckle.

There was a crash on the other end. Dongwoo must have dropped something at the news. “What do you mean?” he was confused.

“I’m going out tonight, so you don’t have to cook,” the elder revealed. “Yay!” he cheered, hoping that the other would be happy that we didn’t have to cook (because Sunggyu surely wasn’t looking forward to eating Dongwoo’s gluey noodles).

“B-but…spaghetti!” his friend whimpered. Sunggyu sighed. He had forgotten how much the other liked cooking for him. Dongwoo thought that it made him more desirable prospect for women, help to shape himself into an ideal husband. But little did Dongwoo know that he was just naturally bad at cooking because he had a hard time focusing, leading him to burn most of his dishes.

“We can gave spaghetti later. I have a date tonight.” Plans, Sunggyu had meant to say plans, but why did that word slip out?

“Hyung! A date?!” Dongwoo was even more frantic now. And there was a lot more crashing going on in the background. It was most likely that the man was jumping up and down in excitement. “With who? Where? Why? Tell me! Tell me!”

Sunggyu rubbed his forehead and muttered, “It's not a date.”

“But you just said…”

“Have fun with your spaghetti. Bye!” Sunggyu hung up and walked into his bedroom to change. Maybe I should have asked Dongwoo what to wear, but he immediately shook that notion out of his head. Caring what he wore meant that he was making a bigger deal of the meal than it was: a simple meal between two men wanting to be friends. Nothing more.

“It’s not like I can see it anyways.”

But Woohyun could, and he made a comment about the other looking “really casual,” which only made Sunggyu wonder what he was wearing. Woohyun, however , quickly changed the subject and lead Sunggyu carefully to the table, setting him down into the seat. It made Sunggyu feel vaguely like a grandfather, but he realized that Woohyun was much like his students. He hadn’t really interacted much with the blind either and didn’t know what he was capable of. Sunggyu smirked, looking forward to inevitably stunning the other when he could ‘average’ things. In fact, Woohyun applauded when Sunggyu uncorked the wine bottle, and gasped when Sunggyu managed to throw the cork right at him afterwards.

The conversation was just as astounding, how it constantly flowed and there was hardly a pause, save for the moments they shoveled food into their mouths. Even then, they talked as they chewed. The conversation ranged from music, to Seungho, food, and practically everything under the sun. Nearing the end of the meal, Sunggyu noticed that Woohyun’s hand was inching closer to his as it laid on the table. The MC’s fingertips brushed against his, and the fingers eventually tried to wedged themselves under his. Sunggyu bit his tongue, trying to control himself because Woohyun apparently thought that being blind meant that he was bereft of most sensations. The MC did seem to notice Sunggyu’s tongue in his cheek and continued to carefully pick at the other’s fingers. He really thought that the other wouldn’t notice.

“How did it happen?” he suddenly asked, and Sunggyu was so distracted by what was happening on the table that he barely registered the question.

And he had expected this question to come up sooner or later. Sunggyu preferred sooner. It was less of a hassle that way. “Tumor on my optic nerve,” he plainly answered, reaching for his wine glass. He felt it being nudged into his hand. There he goes again. Sunggyu took a long drink from the glass, finishing it off. And he might as well. The meal was nearing its end.

“That’s awful,” Woohyun’s voice was layered with pity. Pity that Sunggyu didn’t really want.

He shrugged. “It happened when I was three, so I adjusted easily,” he tried to make it seem like the most painless thing, even though it wasn’t…at the time. But Sunggyu could hardly remember the hardships he went through then. “And it happened gradually.”

A chair scraped across the tile floor, and the smell of musk had gotten stronger. Woohyun had inched closer to him. “So you could see?” he asked in a low whisper.

“Eung, but I can’t remember much,” Sunggyu admitted.  “Except for a few faces. And a random dog that bit me. Things that made an impression.”

“Too bad you didn’t see me then. I would’ve made an impression,” Woohyun chuckled, leaning in even closer.

Sunggyu scoffed and shoved the other away. “You’re gross,” he retorted, but he hardly meant it.

“Hold on,” Woohyun begged as his chair skidded back across the floor. The table jostled as he sat up and left Sunggyu alone. And Sunggyu knew exactly what the other went to go do. He could hear the other’s voice carry over from the cashier’s desk on the other side of the small restaurant. The MC was paying for his meal. Sunggyu clicked his tongue again and tilted his head. Was this him paying for a meal of a new friend or paying for a meal of a resourceless blind man? And Sunggyu was almost positive that he made more money than the other, even in spite of his quasi-celebrity status.

When he heard Woohyun return to the table and felt the man once again tracing his fingertips with his own, Sunggyu snorted.  “You know, I’m blind, but I’m not stupid,” he announced, moving his hand away from the other.

Woohyun was confused, “Huh?”

“Thanks for paying for my meal,” Sunggyu said while getting up. Woohyun got up with him, chuckling in embarrassment. Sunggyu could sense the MC inching closer to him in order to guide him out of the restaurant just like he had walked him into it. Sunggyu began to move on without the other, folding his cane and using it to forge his path through the building. But he wasn’t quite finished with the other yet. “And what were you doing with my hand? If you wanted to hold my hand then...”

He had been joking about the hand holding, but Woohyun quickly wrapped his warm hand around Sunggyu’s free one. He walked closely behind him, his chest knocking against his back. “Can I walk you home?” Woohyun suddenly asked.

Sunggyu wiggled his fingers in the other’s tight grip. He wasn’t going to let go anytime soon. “What is this a date?” he asked with a snort. His hand was growing sweaty, and he hoped that Woohyun wasn’t as perceptive as he was.

“Isn’t it?” That response made Sunggyu’s heart skip a beat and a smile to appear on his face. They were outside now. Sunggyu stopped and faced the other.

“Am I a defenseless girl? I can do it.” He pulled his hand away from the host and began to make his way down the street.

He was unsurprised to hear footsteps chasing after him, but he was surprised to feel the hand naturally wrap around his again. “I know, but I want to,” Woohyun answered quietly, and it was muffled as if his head was down.

Sunggyu stopped again and  tightened his grip. “How about I walk you home?” he suggested in a teasing voice. If this was a date (and that would mean that they were dating), they should date as equals. He wanted Woohyun to know that he could be independent, even if he wanted to depend on the MC a little.

“Um,” Woohyun hummed in thought and began to shift uncomfortably at Sunggyu’s side.  Their attached hands grew clammy. “My home isn’t really close. We’d have to take a bus and…”

“Fine. Let’s go,” Sunggyu gave in and intentionally hitting Woohyun with his cane (who held in the yelp of pain thinking that Sunggyu had done it on accident) as they walked down the street hand-in-hand.

That was the first of many dinner dates the two of them shared over the next couple of weeks. Sunggyu even began to call the radio show often, especially when Woohyun would start telling his audience stories about them without his permission. Their banter and petty but kind hearted arguments were well like by the listeners of the show. The managers even offered Sunggyu a position on Woohyun show, but he said that he rather liked being a part of Woohyun’s stories. And if the two actually worked together, it was likely that Sunggyu would kill him out of annoyance (which he said with all the love in his heart, of course).

One night, Sunggyu grew tired of eating out. Being particularly lazy and exhausted, he suggested that they stay inside at his apartment. And Woohyun, piqued by the meal rotation set up for the other, said that he always wanted to cook for the elder (he insisted that it was one of his talents, but Sunggyu doubted it because the host also told him that he ate out for most meals). Which lead them to where they were now, Woohyun slaving over Sunggyu’s stove. Although Sunggyu had no idea what the other was preparing, the spicy scent wafting through the air was pleasing. But soon the spicy smell was overtaken by a familiar musk as a carrot was crammed into Sunggyu’s mouth. “Say ‘ah’!” Woohyun ordered cutely as he pushed the carrot further into the other’s mouth.

Sunggyu choke and spat the carrot out. “Yah!” he yelled out in a strained voice. “You have to warn me about these things first.”

“Really?” Woohyun feigned shock. “Because I was really starting to think that you could see.” At that, Sunggyu flung the saliva coated vegetable at the other, who commented on how gross it was and continued cooking. This time he warned the other (sometimes profusely) when he tried to feed him again.

The dinner was delicious, even though Sunggyu still had no idea what he was eating, and he concluded that Woohyun probably had no idea was he had made either. After dinner, the two adjourned to  the living room, where Sunggyu suggested that they watch a movie.

“But you’re blind,” Woohyun blurted out.

Sunggyu shook his head at the other’s cute reaction. “I can still hear it, dummy. So as long as someone tells me what’s happening on the screen, I  can figure it out,” he explained, searching for the movie he had borrowed from Dongwoo. Dongwoo had done this several times with him, and his friend was particularly good at it because his distracted and reactionary nature helped to build the movie’s suspense. After putting the DVD into the player, he sat down on the couch. He made sure to sit a few inches from the other, but after he sat down, Woohyun slid a bit over until they were touching. His natural scent filling Sunggyu’s nose.

Sunggyu may have had another reason to watch a movie with Woohyun. He was really attracted to the MC’s voice, how deep and gentle it was. How he laughed like a squeak toy. How easily loud his voice became when he got worked up. And now, Sunggyu could shamelessly appreciate the other’s voice. He laughed to himself. He had heard of some people ‘appreciating’ their partner’s face when they were asleep. And this was no different. Woohyun had no idea.

But sometimes even more intoxicating than Woohyun’s voice was his smell. And now, as he was describing the opening scenes, Woohyun had come even closer to Sunggyu. Their shoulders overlapped. Woohyun’s hot breath was hitting his ear, as the MC explained in a low voice the scenes on the screen. S

But then suddenly, the smell and the hot breaths were gone. Woohyun detached himself from the man’s side. A few soft grunts filled the air as Woohyun changed positions. A weight was pressed onto Sunggyu’s lap. A hand gripped his wrists, leading him to the head now in his lap. Woohyun forced the other to give his head a couple of pats, hoping that the blind man would pick up on his hint. Sunggyu did. He chuckled softly at the other’s shamelessness, but still continued to stroke the soft hair on his lap. Neither of them were really paying attention to the movie anymore. And Woohyun wasn’t as detailed with his descriptions, only giving Sunggyu reactions as to what was unfolding on the screen.

“Wow…you really suck at this,” Sunggyu teased, playing with Woohyun’s hair in between his fingers.

The head shifted in his lap. “I’ll get better,” Woohyun sounded a bit hurt at the comment.

“Yah! You’re an MC! You should be good at it now!” Sunggyu continued to joke, hoping that the other would pick up on the fake that he didn’t really mean what he was saying.

“But there’s no script,” Woohyun seriously argued.

Sunggyu chuckled and ruffled the head underneath his hand. “You’re useless.”

“But you still like me, right?”

“Huh?”

“You like me,” Woohyun insisted. Sunggyu felt caught. Neither of them had ever confessed to each other, and so Woohyun’s insistence left him baffled and stunned. And so he did the only thing he could think of; Sunggyu laughed. The head immediately left his lap, and the hot breaths returned to fanning his face. “This, what is this, hyung? What are we?” Woohyun asked quietly.

Sunggyu faced him, which probably wasn’t the smartest idea because now the breaths were hitting his lips instead of his cheeks. Sunggyu bit his lips before retorting, “I could ask you the same thing because I don’t know.”

“Let’s find out.”

“Ho-“  The words stuck in Sunggyu’s throat as he felt the other come closer. Soft lips were brushing against his. A sharp nose was brushing against his cheek. And Sunggyu could feel the rough stubble on the other’s upper lip. And then after what felt like too long, their lips finally met. The kiss slowly transformed from tentative to passionate as Woohyun cupped Sunggyu’s cheeks to deepen it and take control.

And that’s when Sunggyu felt it, the cold metal brush against his cheek from Woohyun’s left hand. Panic set in, but Sunggyu didn’t break from the kiss because (God help him) he had waited so long for this moment. But just to make sure, he removed Woohyun’s left hand from his face and intertwined it with his. There was no mistaking it now.

There was a ring around his finger.

Sunggyu had tried to explain away the ring. After all, unmarried men are allowed to wear rings, and stupid ones would wear one over their left ring finger. And Woohyun might be one of those stupid men. But then everything the MC did only added to Sunggyu’s growing suspicion. In spite of coming over and walking Sunggyu home several times, Sunggyu had never even stepped foot on the other’s doorstep. Then there was the incessant tapping on the phone. Woohyun always seemed to be texting somebody. But the growing suspicion came to a head one afternoon when Woohyun had been running late and picked up Seungho a few minutes after his lesson had finished. The young boy let out an exasperated “Appa!” at the sight of the radio host, and Sunggyu heart sank into his stomach. And to make matters worse, Seungho then asked why didn’t Woohyun ever invite seonsaeng-nim to come over to play at their house.

Their house…they lived together, Woohyun and this little boy. Of course Seungho could’ve been adopted, but coupled with all the other pieces of information, it didn’t seem likely. It was entirely possible that Woohyun was married. Not just possible, but likely…no, Woohyun was married.

But yet, Sunggyu still held onto their budding relationship. There was still this small sliver of hope that he could be wrong because Woohyun was really stupid and misleading. And Sunggyu just hoped that it worked out in his favor.

Sunggyu should have known that their date that night was going to be a disaster. It was raining after all. Nothing good happened when it rained in his mind. The pounding raindrops assaulted him as soon as the two stepped out of the restaurant. Both of them had forgotten their umbrellas. The cold and heavy air was ominous, chilling Sunggyu to his bone. Then Woohyun suddenly grabbed onto his hand before he could even ready his cane. Woohyun dragged Sunggyu behind as he ran down the street. He had no choice but to trust the radio host. “Let’s go to my house. It’s closer than yours,” Woohyun shouted breathlessly as they ran.

Sunggyu contorted his face in confusion. “But you said…” he argued. Woohyun always talked about how he lived a bus ride away, but now suddenly he was closer to a restaurant in Sunggyu’s neighborhood. We had been neighbors this whole time.

“Come on!” Woohyun cut him off, urging him excitedly. “Hurry up, or we’ll get drenched.”

They were drenched anyways. Drops of water slipped from their clothes and bodies, plopping softly onto the floor in front of Woohyun’s door. As the keys clinked in Woohyun’s hand, Sunggyu’s heart beat faster until he could only hear its thudding in his ears. He didn’t even hear the lock click, but he felt the hand on the small of his back, gently pushing him into the apartment.

Woohyun lead Sunggyu into a room and planted a kiss on his cheek before the warmth of his body left Sunggyu’s side. “This is my room.  Find some clothes to change into. I’m going to heat up some water.” He gave the other’s butt a gentle pat before his footsteps exited out of the room.

Now alone in a strange bedroom, Sunggyu sighed and unfolded his cane, searching for any large piece of furniture that could be a dresser. Feeling out the first piece of furniture he ran into, Sunggyu did discover that it was in fact a dresser, but the wrong one. There were several slender chains littered around the top. He then found a bottle. He brought it to his nose and sniffed it. Women’s perfume, judging by its light floral scent. Growing angrier by the second, he ripped open the top drawer and plunged his hand right in. He pulled a soft, padded garment, cupped, lacy, with a bow joining the two cups together. A bra. A f***ing bra.

Soft lips met the back of his neck and Woohyun’s husky voice filled his ear,  “Are you going to try it on?”

Sunggyu roughly pushed the other away and threw the bra onto the ground. Shaking a finger at Woohyun, Sunggyu shouted on the top of his lungs “You really think I’m a f***ing idiot, don’t you?”

“No, hyung…” A hand landed on his shoulder, and Sunggyu gripped it tightly and threw it off.

“Don’t touch me,” Sunggyu growled. He heard the MC inhale, and Sunggyu cut him off,  “Don’t say f***ing anything.” He stepped away and towards the door. His voice was weak now, shaking, “Don’t just…don’t.”

And he left.

For the rest of the weekend, and for the following week, Sunggyu shut off his phone and shut himself away. He still worked, trying to teach the students as happily as he could, but every single one still asked what was wrong with their beloved seonsaeng-nim. All except for Seungho. That boy didn’t show up that week. But it was evident that Sunggyu couldn’t hide the hurt from the betrayal, in spite of his best efforts to act like nothing was wrong. Because he had shut off his phone, his sister had resorted to pounding on his door on almost a daily basis. And she quickly learned that her brother would only let her in if she had food. So Sunggyu now had an overflowing pantry, but his heart still felt empty.

But the worst part of situation was the silence that now overwhelmed him. Outside of work, he didn’t talk to anyone, even barely exchanging words with his sister on her forceful visits. He stopped listening to the radio entirely. He didn’t want the temptation. He wasn’t going to give into his longing, cutting himself off completely.

And so now he laid on the couch with only the creaks of his old apartment and the sound of traffic to keep him company. But then suddenly there was a knocking at his door. It wasn’t as aggressive as his sister’s and so Sunggyu knew that it had to be someone else. He stiffened.

“Yah! Hyung! Open up the door! My hands are full!” Sunggyu breathed a sigh of relief. It was just Dongwoo, whom he’d been expecting to come over at some point in time.

Sunggyu slowly shuffled over to his door. “What?” he said gruffly after opening the door.

“It’s dinnertime!” Dongwoo exclaimed, immediately brushing by Sunggyu’s side and walking into the apartment. Heavy thuds echoed in the kitchen as he set the heavy grocery bags down. “And guess what we’re having?”

“Spaghetti?” Sunggyu guessed, completely unenthused.

But Dongwoo overwhelming excitement made up for his friend’s lacking one. “Spaghetti!” he cheered and ostentatiously shook the box of noodles.

“Yah! Don’t you know how to cook anything else?” Sunggyu joked, leaning against the countertop.

“Nope.”

The noodles were just as gluey as they normally were; Dongwoo’s cooking skills hadn’t improved one bit. However, his friends roaring laughter filled the once still apartment, and Sunggyu could actually feel himself smiling naturally and not forcibly for the first time this week. But then the smile quickly fell when Dongwoo went over to turn on the radio, in spite of Sunggyu’s loud objections. And then his friend had the audacity to hide the radio on the top of the cupboards so that Sunggyu couldn’t reach it.

“You have to listen! It’s for your own good!” Dongwoo insisted as Sunggyu has hitting him angrily and demanding that he turn it off. Sunggyu stopped fighting the other as soon as the familiar deep voice filled the room. Sunggyu froze. Why does he sound so…depressed?

Woohyun-ssi, why don’t we hear about your friend anymore? Why doesn’t he call in?

I’ve been getting a lot of emails, letters, and phone calls like this. But let me answer your letters with another letter from a listener:

Dear Woohyun-ssi, recently I’ve broken up with my boyfriend over a misunderstanding. I have a problem with being on time to dates. I just lose track of time. My boyfriend said that if I was late for our dates one more time, he’d break up with me. At the time he was joking, but when I didn’t show up at our last date, he stopped answering my calls and my messages. He cut me off completely. I didn’t even get the chance to tell him that I didn’t make it to our date because I had appendicitis and had to get emergency surgery. Woohyun-ssi, will you please read this letter. He listens to your show every day, and so I hope that he can somehow receive this message. I miss him and still love him.

Minhwan-ssi, did you get her message?

(sighs) Misunderstandings form because nothing is said to prevent in the beginning. If only Minhwan’s girlfriend had called before she went to the hospital, she wouldn’t be like this. However she’s not entirely at fault. Misunderstandings grow when others don’t listen for an explanation. Minhwan-ssi, please listen. Please. She loves you.

“He’s been reading letters like that for a whole week,” Dongwoo said during a commercial break, sitting right next to Sunggyu, who had sat down listlessly as Woohyun read the letter. “And I’m starting to think that he might be writing some of them,” Dongwoo seriously joked. A hand landed on Sunggyu’s shoulders, tearing him away from the tumult inside of his mind. “Hyung, he’s trying to give you a message.”

Sunggyu pulled away and crossed his arms. “Yea, that he’s married,” he retorted.

“That he isn’t.”

“Dongwoo,” Sunggyu chided. “He can’t explain away everything. There’s too much evidence that says he is.”

“At least let him try. I’m getting sick of listening to this,” Dongwoo argued. He then jabbed a finger into Sunggyu’s cheek. “And you, my depressed little friend, need closure.”

Sunggyu batted his hand away and was about to give his friend some choice words, but he was cut off by an odd sound. Rain was heavily falling, suddenly. But it’s supposed to be sunny all day. The rain was soon replaced with a piano and a crooning voice. The rain had been a part of a song, a song which Woohyun was playing.

I can’t avoid those eyes looking at me through the dim light.

That person I used to see while secretly feeling love

Just in case I’ll see that person again.

I’m waiting that night at that place.

But that person doesn’t come and makes me cry.

While the time now passes midnight and moves to dawn

Ah, that person who I met that night

Must have forgotten about me

Sunggyu gripped Dongwoo’s shoulder. “Do you think you can drive me to the radio station?”

“Really?”

“Yea, let’s get this over with.”

Sunggyu’s plan wasn’t very well thought through. He was stopped at the entrance of the station, the guards demanding to know why he was there, and Sunggyu was too embarrassed to admit why. But fortunately, there was someone shameless there. “AH! It’s you! You’re Woohyun’s friend, right?” A high-pitched voice echoed throughout the atrium. It was Candy, being useful for once. “He’s with me.” And Candy with her sickly sweet (but suitable) smell, lead Sunggyu down the corridor, until she halted and knocked on glass.

 “Hyung?” Woohyun’s voice boomed throughout the hallway via an intercom. “Everyone! My friend is here!” Sunggyu heard a door open. He could smell him before Woohyun wrapped his arms around Sunggyu in a quick hug. Then he guided Sunggyu into the booth with him and sat him down in front of a microphone. Woohyun pulled the mike close to Sunggyu until he could feel the soft fibers on his lips.  “Just in time for one last song. Sunggyu-hyung, what’ll it be?”

“Um,” Sunggyu paused to think, flustered. Woohyun had always played songs dealing with the rain for him (and who knows for what reason), and so Sunggyu said the first song like that that came to his mind, “Nell’s Standing in the Rain.” Then he immediately winced, remembering how that song went.

 He heard a couple of things being moved around and buttons being pressed. Then Nell’s song played. Woohyun, never leaving Sunggyu’s side, leaned in and spoke in a low tone, “Interesting choice.”

Sunggyu shifted away, not quite ready to be so close to the other just yet. “You want to talk?” he spoke in the most apathetic voice he could muster.

“Yea. Let me just get my things.”

A few minutes later, they were in the station’s cafe, and Woohyun was getting them coffee. When he returned, he began fussing over Sunggyu like he used to, handing him coffee and napkins and asking several times if there was something else Sunggyu wanted, like a cookie. (and even though a cookie did sound good) Sunggyu shook his head, pulled back, and crossed his arms over his chest.  “Stop stalling…talk.”

“It’s all a misunderstanding,” was the first thing to spill from Woohyun’s mouth.

“So you’re not married.”

“No…not really.” Sunggyu immediately stood up from his seat, not needing to hear the rest. Then a hand gripped his wrist. “Wait, hyung!” it sounded like the other was on the verge of tears, and his grip tightened on Sunggyu’s wrist and trying to pull him back into the chair. Sunggyu sighed and gave in. And Woohyun exhaled in relief as Sunggyu sat back down. “Her name is Minyoung, and she was my friend growing up,” he began to explain. “But we lost touch when we got into different universities, and we didn't end on very good terms either. She said he loved me, I told her I was gay, and she hit me and called me the f-word. I didn’t think I’d ever see her again. But then, one day I found her on my doorstep with this kid. She asked me to help her, to get married to her and help her raise her son. Seungho’s father had left her.  And she had nowhere else to turn to. But I told her no. I told her that we weren’t friends anymore. This all happened the same day I met you.”

The words Woohyun had told him that day echoed in his mind, I feel like a shitty human being.

Woohyun sighed, “I felt awful. I regretted it almost immediately. I ended up finding her in the sauna and then I took her into my home. I told her that I would help her raise Seungho and fill-in until she found a decent man.” He paused there. The table began to shake as Woohyun fiddled around with something. Suddenly, he picked up Sunggyu’s hand and turned so that the palm was facing up. “So this,” Woohyun spoke as he pressed the cool ring in Sunggyu’s hand. He closed Sunggyu’s hand around it and wrapped his own hands around Sunggyu’s fists. “This is all fake. It’s all for show.”

Sunggyu tore his hand away from the other and dropped the ring onto the table with a ting.“You want me to believe all of this?” he asked in disbelief.

“Eung.”

“How do I know that you’re not lying to me?” Sunggyu’s voice wasn’t as strong as he would’ve liked.

Woohyun reached over again, grabbing Sunggyu’s hand and rubbing it between his. “You have to trust me. Do you trust me?”

Sunggyu bit his lip as he thought it over, holding back the reactionary ‘yes.’ But he told himself that he had to be careful, to be wary of people who might take advantage of him, given his defect. He puffed up his cheeks as he thought and let out the air and his answer, “Let me meet Minyoung first.”

“Okay.”

For the second time, Sunggyu found himself in Woohyun’s apartment, but it was completely different from the first. Once the door opened, Sunggyu was assaulted from screeches from Seungho and a woman’s irritated voice chiding the boy. Woohyun groaned, embarrassed by the scene. But the screeches stopped, replaced by a happy “Appa!” Tiny footsteps clambered up to the door. Woohyun grunted as he bent over to pick up the boy. “Oh, seonsaeng-nim, you’re here too!”

“Seungho, why don’t you go watch t.v.?” the woman suggested. “I feel like I have a lot of explaining to do,” she finished with a resigned sigh. “You must be Sunggyu-ssi.”

And as they were sitting at their kitchen table, it soon became evident that there was nothing romantic going on between Minyoung and Woohyun. They seemed to tolerate each other and that was about it. Minyoung critiquing the way Woohyun was eating, and vice versa. Not only that, but she allowed Woohyun to sit closely to him, with their hands intertwined on the table, and with Woohyun’s chin practically resting on his shoulder. She allowed it, but she also retched at how disgustingly sweet they were being. But that didn’t stop Woohyun from digging his chin deeper into Sunggyu’s shoulder or hiding his face in the crook of Sunggyu’s neck when Minyoung mentioned that Seungho learned many new curse words thanks to Woohyun’s reaction to them on his doorstep. It seemed like Woohyun missed being close to the other; he craved it, and was making up for lost time.

Eventually, Minyoung left to put Seungho to bed, leaving the two men at the kitchen table. “Hyung…what are you thinking?” Woohyun asked. Sunggyu had been silent, listening to everything, analyzing all the new information. His silence must have disturbed the other because Woohyun sounded unsure. However, surprisingly, Sunggyu wasn’t thinking about the two of them.

“That Minyoung-ssi should meet my friend, Dongwoo,” he revealed.  “Then she doesn’t have to live with you anymore. You two are a big fight just waiting to happen.”

Woohyun chuckled, obviously relieved. He began playing with Sunggyu’s fingers. “Then will you move in with me when she moves out?” he whispered.

Sunggyu removed his hand and leaned back into his chair. “Do you really think that we can just get back together?” he challenged.

“Why not?!” Woohyun’s voice rose several decibels, and Sunggyu was worried about him waking up Seungho.  “I’m not married. I love you. You love me…I think,” his voice sounding more and more unsure as he continued. “What’s wrong now?”

The corner of Sunggyu’s mouth twitched upwards into a mischevious smirk. “You owe me for putting up with all of this, for putting up with you,” he argued.

“Okay,” Woohyun drawled, apprehensive. “What do you want?”

Sunggyu leaned in and whispered, “First we go back to my place…”

“Uh huh.” Woohyun was closer too now. Their lips only a few centimeters apart. Sunggyu could feel the tip of Woohyun’s cold nose brush against his cheek, sending shivers down his spine. “Then what?”

Sunggyu pulled away and his smile grew, happy to have misled the other this time. “Then I put you to work. My place is a mess. Noona hasn’t been over to clean in a month. There’s dust everywhere. I can feel it in my throat.”

Woohyun whimpered a bit obviously disappointed but he still gave in, “Well, I can’t have my boyfriend get sick.”

The cleaning didn’t last for long. It was already late when they arrived at Sunggyu’s apartment, and Woohyun didn’t take to Sunggyu’s nagging so well. After trying to clean for a half an hour, as soon as Sunggyu led Woohyun into his bedroom to clean, the radio host just collapsed on the bed, refusing to move. He pulled down Sunggyu onto the bed as well. “Tomorrow. I’ll do it tomorrow. The dust isn’t going anywhere, hyung.” He wrapped his arms around Sunggyu tightly, even laying a leg over the elder’s thigh.

“Yah,” Sunggyu jokingly reprimanded, hitting Woohyun’s thigh. “I’m not going anywhere either.” But instead of letting him go, like Sunggyu intended, Woohyun only snuggled closer and hummed happily. The room was then filled with the deep, soft snores of Woohyun as he drifted off into sleep. Rain slowly started to fall against his window in time with Woohyun’s breathing. Those noises became Sunggyu’s lullaby as he drifted off into sleep.

He just might start liking the rain.

 The next morning, they stay in bed all day and make banana pancakes.