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1.
Kelley felt a warm weight slowly settle on her legs and stomach, slowly dragging her out of what had been a deep sleep.
“Mmm… wha’ goin on?” she mumbled sleepily. There was no answer so she forced her eyes open, peering down to find Emily laying on top of her. “Em? Go back to sleep.”
“I can’t.”
“You can,” Kelley replied with a yawn. “C’mere. Come to bed.”
“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are when you’re sleeping?”
She snorted. “Uh no, you tell me I look like an angry old man when I’m sleeping.”
“But the cutest old man ever to live.”
She forced her eyes back open. “Okay. What happened?”
“What do you mean?”
“What did you do? Why did you wake me up to be all nice and gooey?”
“Gooey?”
Kelley stuck her finger into Emily’s smile line, making her giggle. “Yeah, gooey.”
“Nothing’s wrong. In fact, everything is right.”
Kelley cupped Emily’s cheek. “What are you talking about?”
Emily turned her head slightly, pressing a kiss to Kelley’s inner wrist. “We have a new teammate.”
Kelley blinked, trying to figure out what she meant. “What? Was a transfer announced today?”
Emily rolled her eyes. “No baby. You and me and Bagel. We have a new teammate.”
Everything clicked and Kelley jerked upright, nearly knocking Emily off of her. “What?!”
She nodded and bit her lip. “Yeah.”
“What- how?”
“I… I was a few days late. But I didn’t want to tell you, didn’t want to freak you out. But this morning I couldn’t sleep so I went on a run and I ended up in front of a pharmacy, so I went in and bought a test.”
Kelley struggled to sit up further. Guiding Emily so that she was straddling her lap. “And?”
Emily gave her a signature soft smile. “And it said yes. It worked. We’re gonna have a-” Kelley cut her off, crashing their lips together.
“A baby?” she asked a few moments later as she gasped for breath.
“No, a Subaru. Yes, a baby,” Emily laughed.
Kelley put a hand on Emily’s still rock hard stomach. “Oh my god… a baby. You’re pregnant! Really pregnant!”
“According to the stick I peed on, yeah!”
“I….” Kelley let out a slow breath. “You’re pregnant. Oh my god.”
“I know.”
“You… We’re having a baby. A real baby.”
“Totally!”
Kelley swallowed hard against the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat. “Emily. Thank you for this. I know that… this wasn’t the original plan. And I know… that you’re sacrificing a lot for this, for us. And I will never stop being thankful-”
“Don’t,” Emily said softly, ducking her head to kiss Kelley’s lips. When Kelley and Emily had first gotten married, they had both been enthusiastic about having kids eventually. They’d talked it over and decided that once Kelley retired from the national team they would start looking into in vitro. That way she was able to squeeze every moment possible from her career. But when that time came and they made the doctor’s appointment, they were met with devastating news: Kelley had a uterine malformation. The fertility expert shook his head sadly and said that while it was possible to implant the eggs, there was an over 75% chance that she would end up miscarrying, and that it would only lead to pain and heart break.
Kelley had been fighting back tears, trying to come to terms with the fact that her body had failed her, had failed Emily, when her wife had piped up beside her.
“Can you look at my uterus?”
She had grabbed her hand. “Emily. No. You’re still young, you haven’t had any major injuries. You could still have another five years of playing! You can’t give that up.”
“What will I get from another five years?”
Kelley gaped at her. “Uh…. An Olympic gold medal?”
“You mean like the one we got in 2021?”
“Or, or another World Cup.”
“Which I have three of. A fourth is just… greedy at this point,” she grinned.
“Emily, be serious. You can’t… I can’t let you throw away the rest of your career just because my uterus is all fucked up.” She swallowed hard against the tears.
“Woah, no need for that. And as for the rest of my career… Kelley, I’ve done some awesome things. Like I said, I have an Olympic gold medal. I have three world cups. I have countless SheBelieves trophies, and I’m the only person in this room who has been on an NWSL Champion team,” she smirked.
Kelley cocked an eyebrow. “That’s a low blow when I’m already almost crying.”
Emily squeezed her hand. “I’m just trying to point out that I’ve done some awesome things. I’ve achieved things that most people only dream about. I mean, I’m banging Kelley O’Hara on the reg!” The fertility doctor cleared his throat uncomfortably, reminding them both that he was still in the room. “I don’t see it as throwing away my career, Kel. It’s just starting the next legendary chapter.”
“Are you sure about this?”
Emily had nodded. “Sure about us?” Yes.”
So she had been the one to undergo the testing, the hormones, the implantation. Kelley had been the one standing by, watching, worrying.
And now they were having a baby.
“You’re going to be an incredible mom,” she mumbled against Emily’s lips.
“Oh this kid is gonna have two great moms and so many cool, strong aunts, they’re going to be the luckiest kid to ever exist.”
“Thank you for doing this.”
Emily smoothed her hair back. “No thanks necessary. Just lots of kisses and foot rubs and ice cream runs when the time comes.”
Kelley laughed, pulling Emily with her as she fell back on the bed. “That I can do.”
2.
They had been in Georgia for a few days, staying at the O’Hara’s house. The official reason for coming down was celebrating Kelley’s birthday, and the days had been long and hot, with pitchers of sweet tea during the day and coolers full of beer at night.
On the day of Kelley’s actual birthday, Emily’s parents and her sister had also come in for the celebration. Kelley’s mom baked an enormous cake and all of her relatives seemed to take it upon themselves to try and outdo each other with ridiculous, over the top speeches, making everyone laugh.
Finally, it was Kelley’s turn. She stood behind the cake, looking out at all of the people she loved. Some had taken longer than others to accept and come to terms with her sexuality, but she considered herself lucky to now be able to stand in front of them and live her truth.
“I uh… I know we’ve kept today pretty light hearted, but I just wanted to say something. Thank you for all of the nice things you had to say, even if you were assholes about it,” she said, rolling her eyes in her brother’s direction. “It’s been… it’s been a crazy year. I retired from the national team, and while I’ll still get to play in the NWSL for at least a little longer, my life is going to look a lot different now. But uh… that’s not the only reason.”
She swallowed hard and smiled nervously at Emily. “My life is about to change drastically because… because I’m going to be a mom.” Gasps and squeals rang out through the knot of family members, and her grin grew wider. “Yeah. Emily’s pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.”
Her mom was beside her in an instant, arms wrapped around her and squeezing her until she could barely breathe. “Oh Kelley! You’re having a baby!”
She laughed. “I know! Well, Emily is.”
Karen released her so that she could grab Emily next, who had just been released by her own mother. It was nearly thirty minutes before they could all regroup and watch Kelley blow out the candles. As she stared at the thirty seven tiny flickering flames, she couldn’t help but glance up at where Emily was smiling at her. She had no idea what to wish for; it felt as if all of her wishes had already come true. Finally she decided to simply wish for more of this, for Emily to always look at her with that much love, to always be surrounded by people who loved and supported them, and for the tiny little bean residing in Emily’s stomach to happy and healthy and always know that they had two moms who loved them more than anything.
X
“You’re being weird,” Lindsey whined.
“Me?” Emily asked, pressing a hand to her chest in disbelief, and earning a pointed look from her best friend.
“Um, yes. Super weird. You came all the way to Denver so that we could, and I quote, ‘reconnect,’ and now you’re just… this.” She waved her hand around. “You won’t sit down, you don’t want to go out to eat, you started crying when you saw Ferguson which… I mean, same, he’s the cutest dog in existence, but seriously. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” Emily insisted, wiping her sweaty palms on her leggings.
“Dasani.” Lindsey levelled a look at her. “I can count on one hand how many times I’ve seen you like this. Your first game with the Thorns, when you finally came out to me and Tobin, before Emma’s wedding, when you and Kelley finally hooked up- wait. Is everything okay? I mean, with you and Kelley? Is everything alright?”
“What?”
“Did something happen? Did she hurt you?” Lindsey’s cheeks were flushing red, her eyes hardening.
“No! No, she didn’t- you do remember that you’re friends with both of us, right?”
“Kelley’s my friend, but you’re my best friend.”
“Still. And what if it was me who hurt her?”
At this Lindsey rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Sure. You, who I’m pretty sure has never willingly hurt another person off of the soccer pitch in your entire life. You’re a giant cinnamon roll.”
Emily threw up both of her hands in finger guns. “Extra icing?”
“Sonny, what’s going on?”
She blew out a short breath. “Okay. Okay, I do have something to tell you. But you… you can’t tell anyone. It’s top secret. No one knows.”
Lindsey arched an eyebrow. “Not even Kelley?”
Emily snorted. “Well no, she definitely knows. And so do our families. Okay, I… I have some news.”
“Any fucking day, Sonny.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Lindsey stared at her blankly for a moment. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I’m… pregnant. I’m having a baby.”
“Did… how… you… Is there something about Kelley I should know?”
“What?”
Lindsey gave an unsure laugh. “Well I’m just trying to figure out how you managed to accidentally get knocked up as a lesbian.”
“It… it wasn’t an accident. We did in vitro.”
“But… Emily you’re still young.” She didn’t miss the rare use of her first name.
“I know.”
“You’re one of the best defenders in the women’s soccer. Why… why would you give that up?”
Emily sighed. “Kelley… we found out that Kelley can’t get pregnant. Or, she can probably get pregnant just fine, but she more than likely can’t stay pregnant. They said the chance of miscarriage was something like seventy, eighty percent.”
“That…” Lindsey shook her head slowly. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry. But… if you were going to have a baby, why not wait? Wait until you’re older, you’re only 31-”
“Linds.” She pressed her lips together. “I didn’t want to wait.”
“It’s not fair that you have to give up your national team career.”
“It’s not a certainty that I won’t play on the national team again. I mean, Alex did it.”
“Yeah, but that’s Alex, Son. Most don’t.”
“It’s not like I’ll never play soccer again. I’m planning on coming back to the NWSL to kick your ass after I’m done with maternity leave,” she tried to joke. Lindsey didn’t quite manage a smile, so Emily sighed and took both of her hands. “Linds, this was my choice. No one forced me into this. Kelley tried to convince me to wait, too, but this is important to me. I want a family with her. And honestly, we’re running out of room for international trophies on our mantle.” This finally earned a small smile from her best friend, and Emily grinned back. “This is a good thing, Linds.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’m so freaking excited. And you’re gonna be Aunt Linds.”
This caught her attention. “Am I the godmother?”
Emily laughed. “My twin already has dibs. And Kelley’s sister is after her.”
“Okay but after the two of them, I’m next in line, right?”
Emily rolled her eyes. “Are you seriously about to get competitive about being third string godmother?”
“Just as long as I’m above Alex, that’s all that matters.” Emily laughed, and Lindsey pulled her into a hug. “Congrats, Dasani. If you’re happy, then I’m happy.”
“I’m glad you feel that way. Because you’re the only non-family member who knows, and I’m gonna need your back up at camp.”
Lindsey raised her eyebrows. “Camp?”
Emily grinned. “Camp.”
3.
Lindsey shook her head as she leaned against the wall of Emily’s hotel room. “Dasani, this has to be the stupidest idea I have ever heard.”
Emily grinned. “Please, Linessi. I’m a mother now, I’m a never-ending fount of wisdom.”
She rolled her eyes. “Sure.”
Lindsey was rooming with Mal, while Emily was staying with one of the youngest call ups, a twenty one year old UNC goalkeeper named Zoe. They had both tried to gently force the two into trading, claiming they missed each other and wanted as much best friend time as possible, but Mal had called bullshit, saying that they had just seen each other a few weeks before camp. Zoe, still trying to process that she was really at a US women’s national team training camp, surrounded by the players she had spent years idolizing, didn’t say much of anything.
“Are you sure this is safe?”
Emily sat on the end of her bed. “The doctor said I’m free to keep up my current activity level at this point as long as I’m being watched carefully by a medical professional, which I will be.”
“Yeah, but that medical professional doesn’t know you’re knocked up, and honestly she’s probably not looking for the signs or symptoms since you’re married to a woman.”
“Linessi, I love you but you’re worrying over nothing! I’m going to do this camp, this one last hurrah with you, and Rose, and the others, and then I’m going to tell the staff and cut back as needed until six months from now when the stork shows up with my perfectly healthy, beautiful baby.”
“Baby? Who’s having a baby?” Zoe asked as she came in the room.
Emily jumped to her feet. “Uh… Lindsey will be, if she doesn’t stop walking around looking like a total smoke show. Yee-ow!” She smacked Lindsey’s ass for added effect, earning a narrow eyed look from Lindsey and a wide eyed one from Zoe. “I mean, right? Look at these arms! Look at these abs! Look at these baby blues!” She gestured to each feature like she was Vanna White on the Price is Right.
“Yeah… um, I’m gonna go to Sophia’s room. If you guys want to…” she trailed off and slipped from the room.
“What the hell Sonny?” Lindsey asked, smacking her friend in the arm.
“Hey! You can’t hit me, I’m pregnant,” Emily stage whispered.
Lindsey folded her arms. “Fine. Then I’ll just keep a mental tally and when I come to visit you after you deliver I’ll beat you up.”
“Fair enough.” Emily smoothed a hand over her stomach, feeling the slight swell that had developed. It wasn’t big by any means, but she could feel it. If she stood sideways while just wearing a sports bra, you could see it. But as long as she kept her shirt on, no one would be any the wiser.
“C’mon. Everything is fine. Even if Zoe suspected something, she’s too scared of the Great Horan to say something. Everything is great. No one is going to find out.”
X
Did you know that morning sickness could sometimes not make an appearance until the end of the first trimester?
Neither did Emily.
But there she was, hunched over the toilet, gagging up every last bit that she’d had to eat the night before. She was trying her best to keep quiet, but she knew she had failed when she heard shuffling behind her.
“Em? Y’okay?” Zoe asked around a massive yawn.
“Yeah, I’m fine, go back to-” But she wasn’t fast enough, and was cut off by another retch.
“Should I go get someone? The doctor? I can-”
“No! No everything… I must have just eaten something wrong. Really, it’s fine. No need to get the medical staff involved. Especially at six in the morning.” She wiped at her forehead.
“Well can I get you something?”
“My water bottle is on my side table.” Zoe shuffled out of the bathroom to grab it. Emily wanted her wife to be here, rubbing her back and telling her it would pass. “Could you also grab my phone?”
Zoe handed both of them over and Emily gave a tired smile. “Thanks.” The younger player leaned uncomfortably against the wall, watching as Emily washed out her mouth and spat in the toilet, flushing everything away, then began to take little sips of water.
“Do you have a fever?”
“No-” Zoe’s hand pressed to her forehead anyway. “Really, Zoe I’m fine. You can go back to bed. Get some rest, it’s going to be a bitch of a day.”
“I don’t want to leave you in here, feeling like garbage.”
“I’ll be back in the room in a sec, I’m just gonna make sure it’s passed.”
With one last reluctant look, Zoe disappeared back into their room, and Emily leaned back against the wall. She opened her text thread with Kelley.
‘Guess who just spent the last twenty minutes tossing up her guts :(‘
The response was immediate, Kelley being two hours ahead.
‘Baby no!’
‘Baby yes. And to make things worse I woke up my roommate and she is big concerned’
‘Maybe you should tell her. It can’t hurt to have one more set of eyes looking out for you.’
Emily smiled. ‘If Rose or Mal find out I told one of the rookies before telling them they’ll never forgive me.’
‘Please just be careful. Take care of the peanut’
‘Always’
X
Lindsey Horan had no formal acting training but she was quickly finding herself getting on the fly experience as she had to explain away a myriad of symptoms for Emily.
“Too many chocolate chip cookies,” she said, rolling her eyes as the team watched Emily hurl into a trash can outside of the training complex.
“She really misses Bagel Bongo,” she shrugged as Emily started crying when Tierna showed a picture of her dogs.
“Just that time of the month,” she explained as a stray soccer ball to the chest took Emily to her knees, the hit making Emily’s already very sore and tender chest feel like it was on fire.
But even she didn’t know how to get out of this.
“C’mon ladies, let’s hustle! Into the ice baths so you can get to dinner. I want you all to rest up tonight so we can really push tomorrow!” Vlatko called as he exited the training room. Emily and Lindsey’s eyes met.
Was it okay for a pregnant woman to take an ice bath?
“Um… I’ll take last round,” Emily said haltingly.
“Me too,” Lindsey added.
“Same,” Zoe said quietly. Both women turned to look at her and she shrugged.
The three stretched out a little more while waiting for the room to empty out. Soon it was just them, silently staring at the tubs.
“I don’t… think this is a good idea,” Zoe said suddenly.
“What do you mean?”
She took a deep breath. “Um… my mom is a labor and delivery nurse,” she mumbled under her breath. “And I know that pregnant women aren’t supposed to take hot baths because it raises your body temperature too quickly. So… ice baths are probably off the table too.”
“Wha- she’s not- no, no one is-” Lindsey started.
“I saw your bottle of pre-natal vitamins in your bag,” Zoe offered to Emily apologetically. “Plus I hear you throw up almost every morning.”
Emily sighed. “Zoe, please don’t-”
“I won’t tell anyone. It’s not any of their business.”
Emily felt a small wave of relief wash through her, “Oh. Thanks.”
Zoe gave a small grin. “Don’t worry. No one’s going to find out.”
X
Zoe was wrong.
It was the last night, and the veterans left over from the 2019 World Cup era were crammed into Tierna and Andi’s room, laughing and talking.
“You know, I think marriage has been a little too good to you,” Rose told Sonny.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re just… ugh. You and Kelley are so sappy and in love, it’s disgusting. You’re too cute.”
“Hey now, don’t be jealous of our red-hot passion,” Emily shot back, wiggling her eyebrows. She stood up to grab a handful of pretzels from the bowl on the bed.
“Not to mention, you’ve definitely gotten a little chubby,” Rose kidded, poking Emily in the stomach good naturedly. “Surely it’s not Kelley’s gross vegan friendly cooking that’s made you put on ten pounds,” she laughed. “C’mon Son, what happened to your six pack? Your v lines?”
Emily knew that Rose was kidding, but something in her comment cut straight to her core. She was horrified as tears quickly filled her eyes, spilling over before she had a chance to stop them.
“Hey! What the fuck!” Lindsey barked, her protectiveness coming out in full force as Emily dissolved into tears.
Rose looked on in horror. “Sonny. Son, I was just kidding!”
“Well don’t say stuff like that!” Lindsey retorted.
Sam put a hand on Emily’s shoulders. “Sonny, don’t cry. You look great! I mean, it’s perfectly normal to gain a little weigh when you’re happy, and we’ve all been celebrating. Don’t worry about it. Give it a month or so of training and your body will bounce back to normal.”
Emily sniffed. Really, at this point she might as well just tell them. “No it won’t.”
Mal smiled sympathetically. “No really Em, it’s not even that much-”
“No. It won’t bounce back because-” She glanced at Lindsey, who shrugged slightly. “Because I’m pregnant.”
She glanced around at each of their shocked faces, waiting for one of them to react.
“Like… with a baby?” Mal asked.
“Yeah. I’m gonna have a whole ass baby,” Emily chuckled, and suddenly she was in the middle of a group hug.
“You’re having a baby!” Sam practically shouted, earning a look from Lindsey.
“Well don’t shout it to the world, Sammy.”
“Sorry.”
“Oh my god, I can’t believe I bullied a pregnant woman,” Rose gasped.
Emily laughed. “It’s okay. I just cry at anything right now.”
“Wait so… are you retiring?” Tierna asked.
Emily shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m due in March. I’m just going to wait for the baby to come and reevaluate from there.”
“Kelley and Emily are having a baby,” Sam sung out softly, and they once again found themselves in a massive group hug.
4.
“Kelley look at this!” She passed her wife her laptop. “Look how cute that is!” The screen showed a onesie that read, “I don’t drool, I DRIBBLE” accompanied by a little soccer ball.
“Aw that’s perfect. We have to get one.”
“We should get two, so that if she shits all over one we have a back up.”
“We don’t know that it’s a girl,” Kelley reminded her.
“I know. I just don’t like calling it… well, it.”
“You could use they.”
“I guess,” Emily shrugged.
“Hey Em?”
“Yeah?”
“What do you want? I mean obviously we don’t really get a choice, but if you did.”
Emily hummed, drumming her fingers over her steadily growing bump. “I guess my instinct is to say girl, just because I’m a girl, you’re a girl, we know girls. I understand them. But… being a girl sure sucks, sometimes.”
Kelley sighed. “Yeah. Having a girl would be nice but what kind of world would she be coming into? I mean, we’ve done so much to try and promote change, but…” she trailed off before shaking her head.
“Yeah. So maybe I’m hoping for a boy. I mean, maybe with our combined genes he could finally make the US Men’s team decent.”
Kelley snorted, passing the laptop back and looping her arm around Emily’s shoulders. “Maybe.”
“We still have so much to buy. We’ll need a crib and a changing table, we need a stroller, we need a high chair-”
“Well I don’t think we need a high chair right way, right? I mean it won’t even be able to lift it’s head for the first few months, much less sit up.”
“Yeah, but it’s better to buy it now then later right?”
“I have no idea.”
“We still need to paint the nursery.”
“We have to decide on a color first.”
“Should we be talking about names already?”
Kelley laughed. “I mean, four months might be a little early.”
Emily leaned her head against Kelley’s shoulder. “If it’s a girl we could name it after your mom.”
This earned a deep belly laugh from Kelley. “Tiny baby Karen?”
“Absolutely,” Emily grinned.
“All jokes aside, my mom would love that.”
“I know. And for a boy… we’ll name him after both of our dads.”
Kelly nodded. “Absolutely. “Dan-Bill.”
“Mmm, I think Bill-Dan has a better flow.”
“You’re right.”
Emily sighed. “We also need to get bibs and a breast pump and a car seat and one of those mat things that dangles toys over the baby.”
“You know what’s great, though?”
“Hm?”
“We have so many people who love us and love the baby, and in a few months both of our sisters are going to unite and throw us a baby shower where people will buy us most of those things.”
“Oh.” Emily tilted her head up to smile at Kelley. “Well that’s just dandy.”
“I think you’re dandy,” Kelley whispered, pressing a kiss just below Emily’s ear, making her skin break out in goosebumps. Her libido had been out of control recently, flipping on and off at the slightest thing. Not that Kelley was complaining at all.
“Oh I think you are..” Emily’s breath hitched. “swell. A super swell lady.”
“Yeah? Well I think…” Kelley pressed several kisses into the delicate skin of Emily’s neck. “I think we should move this to the bedroom.”
“I think you are absolutely correct.”
5.
“Alright Tobs, be sure to get my good side.”
“Are you sure you have one of those, Kelley?” Kelley flipped her off, making Tobin chuckle from behind her camera.
“You’re not being very professional.”
“Well, maybe you should have hired a professional for this then.”
With each passing day Emily’s stomach was growing, and it had reached the point where Kelley and Emily needed to tell the world before some nosy bystander snapped a pic with their phone and let the cat out of the bag. Originally they were going to hire a professional photographer, but then decided that they would much rather just have one of their oldest friends come visit and bring her digital camera.
Tobin had retired a year or so prior, around the time that Kelley did, and it was suiting her. Her time was spent working with re-inc, surfing, making art, and spoiling Christen and the baby. Kelley loved nothing more than getting pictures of Christen with her hair tied up in a bun, cheesing at Tobin behind the camera as she held their daughter to her chest.
“Okay, so are you really just going to have me pictures of your dog?” Tobin asked. Bagel Bongo had been forced into a tee shirt that read ‘Best Big Sister,’ and she was staring grumpily at the three of them, unhappy about the new development.
“No, obviously you’ll get some of all three of us, but Bagel’s really the star of this show. Aren’t you, sweetie?” Emily asked with a few kissy noises. Bagel simply laid down in the grass, her head on her paws. “Being a star is exhausting,” Emily joked.
Tobin began snapping pictures of Bagel, eventually getting candid photos of all three of them, smiling and laughing. Finally she took a few that were more staged, ones where Kelley was standing behind Emily, pressing a kiss to her cheek as Emily gave Tobin a soft smile, her hands smoothing her dress over her rounded stomach. Then she moved them to lay down on a blanket they had brought out, posing them as she saw fit.
Emily’s stomach was growling by the time Tobin declared they had enough. They put in an order at one of the local restaurants and Emily went to go pick it up. As Kelley and Tobin kicked back on the couch, Tobin shook her head with a bemused smile.
“What?”
“Hm? Nothing, just… can you believe that we made it this far? The same two idiots who wandered into that jungle in Brazil, now are grown up and married. I have a kid, you have one on the way.”
“It’s pretty hard to believe, huh?” Kelley laughed, taking a sip from her beer bottle.
“That neither one of us have been killed by massive bulls? Totally.”
“What if our kids are even crazier than we were?”
Tobin considered the question. “Well… I’m lucky, I guess. I’m hoping and praying that Penny inherits Chris’s personality. Because if she had been with us there’s no WAY we would have ended up in that forest.”
“Oh definitely not,” Kelley agreed. “We would have been doing something responsible and sanctioned by the team. We probably would have been at a museum.”
Tobin grinned. “Your kid on the other hand…”
Kelley gave her a look. “What do you mean?”
“Taking after not just you but Saucy Sonnett? Your kid’s going to be the ultimate bringer of chaos.”
Kelley groaned and flopped back onto the couch with a chuckle. “Oh god, you’re right.”
“You better start baby proofing your house now.”
“I’m kind of nervous,” Kelley admitted.
“Yeah?”
“I mean, in a good way. Like how I felt before the Olympics or the World Cup. Except if I fuck this up it’ll be way worse. I’ll fuck up the baby.”
“Hey.” Tobin waited until Kelley raised her eyes. “You’re not gonna fuck up the baby. You’re going to be a great mom.”
“I just… what if I mess up?”
“You probably will,” Tobin mused.
“No, not in a, forget to bring enough diapers with me to the store. What if I really mess up? What if I’m too strict, what if I put too much pressure on it? What if I get angry? I don’t want their memories of me to be just of me yelling all the time.”
Tobin put a hand on her knee. “Kel, you’ve mellowed out a lot. You’re not the same maniac who was running around the pitch screaming.”
“But sometimes,” Kelley took a deep breath. “Sometimes the anger is there when I least expect it. I’m fine, and then suddenly I’m seeing red. Emily knows the signs that I need to cool off, that I’m getting overwhelmed, but a baby won’t. And what if the baby is like me? What if it’s also angry? I just look back on all of the fights I got into with my dad when I was in high school, both of us screaming, until-” She stopped, swallowing thickly. “My dad only slapped me across the face a few times, and in all honesty I probably deserved it, but I’ll never forget that feeling. The sting, the look in his eyes, the rush of adrenaline…”
“Kelley. You’re going to be a great mom. I know it.”
“I just… worry.”
“Have you ever slapped Emily?”
“What? No!” she replied immediately.
“Have you ever slapped me?”
“Obviously not.”
“What about someone who was really pissing you off, getting in your business. Ever slap Hinkle, or even Hope for that matter?” Tobin raised her eyebrows. “I can remember a few times when she definitely would have deserved it for the way she talked to us.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because… because it wouldn’t have solved anything.”
“So don’t you think you’ll have that same clarity with your kid? The little being that you already love more than life itself?”
“I… yeah. I guess so.”
“And you’re not alone, Kel. You have Emily. And like you said, she knows you. If you were ever starting to feel out of control all it would take was one look and Emily would be stepping in to calm things down.”
“Yeah. You’re right.” She took a deep breath. “You’re right,” she repeated with more conviction.
“Of course I am. Christen had to rub off on me at some point,” Tobin grinned.
The front door opened, and Emily came bustling through. They both stood up.
“Hey Tobes?” Kelley extended her fist. “Thanks.”
Tobin gave her a fist bump with a happy grin. “Anytime, KO.”
They were both brushing their teeth when Emily got a text from Lindsey.
Look, Yahoo ran an article on your little bun!
The link for the article came in right after it, and Emily clicked on it, quickly reading it before passing her phone to Kelley. “Aw look honey, the little dude’s first news article!”
Kelley read it then leaned over to spit her toothpaste in the sink. “Oh my gosh! That’s so nice. We’ll have to forward it to our moms, I’m sure they’ll want to share it on facebook,” she laughed. She put her toothbrush in the holder and pressed a kiss to Emily’s cheek as she gave her phone back. “Also, don’t let me forget, tomorrow I want to go to the grocery store before practice.”
“Okay.” Emily spat and rinsed her mouth. She picked up her phone, intending on closing out the web browser, but her eye was caught by the number of comments growing at the bottom. She hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was really worth it. But in the end she couldn’t deny her curiosity, and clicked on the comment section.
She immediately knew it was a mistake, but couldn’t make herself stop scrolling through, reading what people had decided to write. Some of the comments, most of them even, were lovely. People that were happy for them, that were excited about the life they were bringing into the world.
Other people weren’t.
I can’t believe that yahoo is really promoting this kind of filth, and on their front page. Their sinners and their gonna burn in hell
Don’t they know that babies NEED a DADDY?!?!?! Smdh just more liberal bitches, ruining this country
Uggh wouldn’t bang the blond but I would let her watch while I split open the other
I hope after that baby is born someone kills them both and takes the baby so it can learn to be normal
Great if it’s a boy itll be a fag and if it’s a girl theyll probably fuck it to, theyre disgusting
“Emily?” She looked up to find Kelley in front of her, her face concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“I…” Emily tried to answer but her throat was tight.
“Em.” Kelley took her phone from her hand, turning it so she could look at what she had been reading. After a few seconds she put it face down on the counter and wrapped her arms around Emily. “Don’t. Don’t think about it. Don’t let their words live in your mind.”
“Why do they hate us so much?”
“They… I don’t know honey. But we can’t let them ruin this.”
“They said we were going to… to have sex with our own baby,” The tears finally hit, and Kelley steered her to the edge of the bed.
“They have no idea what they’re talking about.”
“What if someone hurts our baby?”
“People… they talk a big talk online. As long as they’re behind their screens they’re fine with saying whatever they want. No one is going to hurt us or the baby.”
“But what if they do?” She shoved her face hard into Kelley’s chest.
“Em. Em look at me, please.” She pulled back enough so that she could Kelley in the eyes. “If anyone were to come near us, I would tear them apart, okay? Even before we got pregnant, if someone had tried to hurt you I don’t think there would have been a force on Earth strong enough to keep me away. But this baby… Emily I will do anything in my power to keep him safe. To keep us safe. I promise you.”
“I know. I know that, I just…” She glanced back at where her phone was resting on the bathroom counter. “Normally I don’t even look at the comments. I know better. I mean, I remember the comments from when we got married, I just… I guess I’ve been living in a little bubble. I’m so excited to meet the baby and I’m so happy, I think… I think I just forgot. I forgot that… that we don’t get to live the life most people do.”
“And it’s okay to be happy. It’s okay to be excited. We just… we have to focus on keeping the focus on where it needs to be. On us, on our baby, on our family and friends that already love the little man more than they could possibly express.” She rubbed a hand along Emily’s stomach. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
“And promise you’ll stay away from the comments, okay? On this article, on Instagram, on twitter, it’s not worth it.”
“I know. You’re right, as usual.”
“Hmm, I’m sorry, could I maybe get that last part in writing?”
This earned Kelley a little smile from her wife. “Nope. Take what you can get, O’Hara.”
“Hey.” She leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to Emily’s lips. “That’s Mrs. Sonnet-O’Hara, to you.”
7.
Emily walked into the kitchen to find Kelley standing in the middle of it. “Kel? You okay?”
Kelley slowly turned around, her eyebrows furrowed. “We’re having a boy.”
“I… yeah, I know, I was at the doctor’s appointment too,” she joked.
“No, but… a boy,” she repeated, giving Emily a look.
“Were… you unclear about that?”
“Emily. We’re having a boy. Who’s going to have a tiny little penis.”
“What’s happening in your brain right now?” Emily asked.
“How… what are we going to do about it?” Kelley asked, her voice panicky.
“I really don’t think we’ll have that much involvement with it.”
“No, but I mean… how will we potty train him? We’re working with completely different equipment, I can do lots of things but I can NOT pee standing up.”
Emily sighed. “I really don’t think it will be that big of a deal, honey.”
“And what about when he’s older? When he’s having… y’know,” she gave Emily a significant look, “feelings about things.”
“Again, I think you’re overestimating how much parents are involved in that.”
“What if he has a wet dream?”
Now Emily was the one feeling alarmed. “What?”
“He’s going to have to tell one of us!”
“Not it,” Emily responded, putting a finger to her nose.
“Emily!”
“We will… cross that bridge when we get to it.”
“And we’re going to have to talk to him about condoms and safe sex, and just…” Kelley let out a slow breath. “a lot of stuff. And at this point, I don’t even remember what a penis looks like, much less how to put a condom on one.”
“They probably look a lot like our strap on, just not glittery red.”
“Emily!”
“Kel.” Emily stepped forward, taking both of Kelley’s hands. “We’re going to be fine, okay? We’ll take things a day at a time. And when it gets to that point, we’ll buy some books and watch some videos, and we’ll do our best! And if he really needs someone with a penis to talk to… I mean you have a brother. And lots of our friends are married to great guys. I’m sure we can send him to Alex’s for the weekend and Serv can sort him out. But no matter what, it’s going,” she pressed a kiss to Kelley’s cheek, “to be,” she kissed the other cheek, “fine.” She kissed her on the lips. “Okay?”
“I… yeah. Yeah, it’s gonna be fine. I just… I was panicking a little.”
“A little, yeah,” Emily smirked. “But I promise, everything will be just fine.”
8.
Kelley called out for her wife as she came through the front door but received no reply. She dropped her duffel to the ground and threw her keys on the breakfast bar, peering around.
“Em? Honey?”
Still no answer.
There was no Emily in the living room, no Emily in the office, no Emily in the nursery, no Emily in their bedroom. Or at least, that’s what Kelley thought before she heard a soft whimper from their walk in closet. She crept forward and knocked gently on the door. “Em?”
“Just go away,” came the tearful reply.
“Baby what’s wrong?”
Emily sniffed hard. “Nothing.”
“It sounds like something.”
Emily didn’t respond so Kelley pushed the door open. She was met with the sight of her very pregnant, very obviously upset wife sitting cross legged against the wall of the closet. “Baby, what’s wrong? Are you sick? Are you having contractions?” Panic began to creep into her chest.
“No,” Emily responded, her voice gravelly. “It’s nothing like that.”
“Then what’s wrong, honey?”
She stretched out an arm and pointed across the closet, directing Kelley’s eyes to their floor length mirror. “Look.”
“I… okay. I’m looking, Em. What am I looking at?”
She lifted her head to look at Kelley, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks with more fury. “Me! Look at how disgusting I am! I weigh five thousand pounds!”
Kelley’s shoulders dropped as she began to realize that everything was fine, Emily was healthy, the baby was healthy. Not that she was happy that her wife was so upset, but at least they weren’t going to be headed to the hospital. “Oh baby, you’re not disgusting. You’re pregnant.”
“That’s easy for you to say, Kelley! You can still go out and play soccer without a single care in the world, meanwhile I’m stuck here like the damn Pillsbury Dough Boy.” A smirk had found it’s way to Kelley’s lips before she could stop it, causing Emily to narrow her eyes. “Don’t! Don’t laugh at me! This is all your fault!”
“Me? How is this my fault?”
“You knocked me up!”
“Well, to be completely fair we knocked you up. It was a group decision and then we had to have a lot of help, there was a doctor involved, my brother had to go to that clinic and do gross stuff in a gross room watching gross porn-”
“Kelley.” She could tell her attempts at humor were not making Emily feel better. “Just look at me.”
“I am looking, Em.” She crossed the closet so she could kneel next to her. “I’m looking and you look beautiful.”
“No! I don’t!” Kelley knew it was the hormones wreaking havoc on Emily’s emotions, but the sight of her wife choking back sobs made her chest hurt all the same. She scooted closer, sitting on the ground next to her and wrapping an arm around her shaking shoulders.
“Hey. Listen to me. You look absolutely stunning.”
“I’m just so… god my stomach is so big! And I keep knocking things over.” She wiped at her cheeks and peeked at Kelley. “I tried to pull on my favorite leggings and I ripped them. Right up the ass! Our stupid baby made me rip my leggings!” She dissolved back into tears, and Kelley pulled her closer.
“I’m sorry, honey. I’m sorry.”
“And I’m not really mad at you, and I’m not mad at the baby. I’m mad at myself.”
She pulled back to look at her, confused. “Why?”
“I feel like I should be handling everything with so much more grace. I just… cry! All the time! For reasons I don’t even understand. I saw a bird out the window this morning and lost it. I don’t even like birds!” She leaned into Kelley’s shoulder. “I just remember how zen Christen was when she was pregnant with Penny.”
“She seemed zen but I’m sure she also had her moments like this. It’s the pregnancy hormones, baby, you can’t help it.”
“And I guess I just thought…”
“Thought what?”
“I thought, or I guess maybe I hoped I would be more like Alex. She was… stunning when she was pregnant with Charlie. She even went like three weeks past her due date, and was still in such great shape. She was biking. I can barely climb onto our bar stools!”
“Yes, but Alex is an alien, honey. No one else on earth looks or functions like her when she’s not pregnant, let alone when she was. You shouldn’t compare yourself to her.”
“I just… I thought it would be easier. I thought I would be, I don’t know, good at being pregnant. I didn’t think I would spend so many weeks barfing my guts up, I thought I would still be able to go on training with only a few adjustments, I thought… Well I thought I would still be me. I thought I would be Emily plus a belly. But now I feel like this… monster! Who eats like Godzilla and is mad at everyone for dumb reasons, and when I see myself in the mirror… I don’t see me. It feels like Emily is gone. I don’t know who I am.”
“Hey. Look at me.” She cupped Emily’s cheek. “You’re still you. You’re Emily Ann Sonnett-O’Hara, a world class badass and my favorite person to ever exist. You’re still an incredible soccer player-”
“But I can’t-”
“You’re still an incredible soccer player! You may not be slide tackling right now, but that doesn’t change anything! Was I less of a soccer player when I was dealing with my ankle?”
“No,” she sniffed.
“Then why would this be any different?”
“I just… I miss my old body. I miss being able to go and do anything I wanted without having to pee 10 times. I miss my clothes. I miss you.”
“You miss me? I’m right here.”
“I miss being able to be close to you. I miss getting tangled up with you. I miss getting to have crazy wall sex with you.”
“Honey if you want wall sex, all you have to do is ask,” Kelley grinned.
“No but… it’ll be you going down on me. I want to be the one to make you feel good. It’s not the same.”
“You make me feel good all the time, just by being my wife.”
“Kelley,” she whined, rolling her eyes.
She pulled her closer, wrapping her up in her arms. “I mean it. I think what you’re doing for us, for me, is so insanely sexy. You’re having our baby, Em. Our son. How could I not find that irresistible?”
“But I can’t-”
She put a finger to Emily’s lips. “You do just fine taking care of me. I’m not complaining. And Em… you’re almost through. In one month you’ll have the little guy and then things will find their way back to normal. You won’t be pregnant forever.”
“Are you sure?”
Kelley laughed. “I’m positive.”
Emily sighed. “What if things don’t go back to normal? What if I’m different? What if the baby makes you different?”
Kelley kissed the top of her head. “Then we’ll adapt. We’ll find our new normal. All I know for certain is that I love you more than life itself, and together we can do this.”
Emily burrowed her face into Kelley’s neck, breathing in the comforting scent of home. “I love you, Kel. I couldn’t do this without you.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
9.
Kelley was in the middle of a weight session when the trainer gestured her over. “Hey, you’ve got a phone call.”
“Oh, okay.” She followed him to the front desk and picked it up. “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Em. So… we have a bit of a situation.”
Kelley sandwiched the phone between her each and shoulder, retying her ponytail. “Okay, like a we’re out of ice cream situation? Or you can’t reach your feet to put on your shoes situation?”
“Mm, more like a ‘my water just broke all over the place so you should probably come home’ situation.”
Kelley straightened up in shock and promptly dropped the phone. She grabbed it off the ground and pressed it back to her ear. “What? Your water broke?”
“I’m pretty sure. That or I just peed myself.”
“Have you called an ambulance?”
“I don’t need an ambulance. I need you to come home and help me change out of these wet pants then take me to the hospital.”
“Right. Right! Okay, um I’ll be right there! Don’t go anywhere.”
“Where would I go?”
“I don’t- I’m headed home now. I love you!”
“I love you too!”
Kelley broke just about every speed limit she encountered on her way home. She haphazardly parked in their driveway and dashed into the house. She found Emily standing in the kitchen. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, I just… didn’t want to trail amniotic fluid throughout our house, so I stayed in this spot.”
“Okay, okay let me grab you pants and the bag and we’ll go to the hospital.”
“And underwear. Don’t forget underwear!” she called as Kelley dashed down the hallway.
After helping Emily get dried off and changed, Kelley helped support her out to the car. As she helped her ease into the passenger seat, Emily’s face clouded.
“Are you okay?”
“Y…yeah. Just…” she breathed in and out a few times. “Hurts a little.”
“You’re having contractions already?” Kelley gasped, her heart threatening to beat out of her chest.
“I doubt it. If that’s all a contraction is then my mom is a wuss because that really wasn’t so bad,” Emily said, chuckling slightly.
Twelve hours later and Emily was unable to believe she had ever been laughing about this experience. Now the real contractions had arrived and each one made her body explode with pain. She desperately tried to remember everything she had learned in their Lamaze classes, trying to breathe through everything, but good god why did anyone have more than one kid when it hurt this much?!
Kelley was by her side in the birth unit, helping her walk, helping her rock on the giant ball the midwife had provided. Emily squeezed her hand as hard as she could, trying to remember that this pain wouldn’t last forever, that eventually she would have this baby and the pain would stop, but it was hard to hold onto that when it felt like her body was turning inside out.
The midwife told her it was time to try pushing and she nodded. Kelley sat in a chair and Emily squatted between her legs, leaning her back against her wife’s chest. “It hurts,” she admitted in an embarrassed whisper, just loud enough for Kelley to hear.
“I know, baby. But you are doing so great, okay? And now it’s time to push.” She combed her fingers through Emily’s hair.
“Okay Emily, on this next contraction, give me a nice big push okay?” Emily did as she was told, but after several pushes they still didn’t have a baby. “Do you want to change positions?”
She shifted, turning over so that she was on her knees, her face now pressed to Kelley’s stomach. “I don’t think I can do this, Kelley,” she sobbed, hiding her face in the fabric of her shirt.
“Yes you can, Em, I promise you can, okay? You are the strongest person I know.”
“Stronger than Lindsey?” she managed to grunt out, making Kelley laugh.
“Yes. And I will say that to her face.”
The midwife put a hand to her lower back. “Okay Emily, another big contraction coming up, I need you to dig deep and give me all you’ve got.”
Emily squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath and pushed down, doing as she was told. Blinding pain was shooting through her body and she dug her nails into Kelley’s lower back, trying to fight through it.
“We have a head, mamas! Hold on just a sec, Emily, let us clear their little nose.”
“You’re doing so good,” Kelley breathed somewhere near her ear, her voice strained with tears.
“Alright, let’s go again! Give me some long and strong pushes!”
And right there, in a birthing unit in a hospital in Atlanta, just a few minutes before the break of dawn, Emily and Kelly’s son came sliding into the world. Kelley began to cry in earnest, her face hurting from just how wide her smile was. “You did it! Em, he’s here, you did it.”
The cord was clamped and cut, and then the baby was being passed to Emily. She cuddled him to her chest, staring down at his little face, his tiny tongue poking out of his mouth as he began to cry. Emily pressed a kiss to his head and lifted her head to look at Kelley.
“He’s here,” she sobbed.
“I know. You did it, baby. You did it.”
Several hours later, the after birth delivered, their son washed and weighed and wrapped in a blanket, all three of them were cuddled in Emily’s hospital bed. Both women stared down at the little bundle in Emily’s arms, entranced.
“Can you believe we made this?” Emily asked breathlessly.
“No. I… god, I owe my brother so big,” Kelley said with a slight laugh.
“Ten fingers, ten toes, so much hair…” Emily smoothed her finger over the few locks escaping from under his little cap. “Y’know what he looks like?”
“Hm?”
“A little worm.” Emily glanced up at Kelley with an exhausted grin. “A wriggly little worm. He gets that from you.” And just like that, Kelley was laughing and crying, and then so was Emily, both of them completely overcome by the emotions of the day.”
“He’s perfect,” Kelley murmured once they had both finally calmed down.
“Perfect, beautiful little Liam,” Emily agreed.
Kelley kissed Emily’s cheek then returned her gaze to the tiny bundle who was officially her favorite person in the entire world. “Liam William Sonnett-O’Hara.”