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“Oh my god,” Buck kept his voice quiet, he was afraid if he spoke much louder he’d burst into tears.
“He’s beautiful,” Eddie’s voice cracked as he leaned over Buck’s shoulder.
“He looks like you,” Buck leaned his head against his husbands.
“I hope he stays blonde like you and Christopher,” Eddie stroked a finger over his eyebrow where there was a small birthmark.
“I hope you love him,” Maddie joked. “That was the most painful eight hours of my life.”
“Thank you Mads.”
“Of course Buck. I’d do it again for you two.”
“Let’s have one of our own first,” Chim laughed.
*****
Their journey to becoming parents was a long one. They’d looked at adoption, gone through the classes to be foster parents and even had two placements, but neither had been permanent.
It had broken both of their hearts but Buck’s especially. Eddie couldn’t bear to see his husband so upset over something that was out of their control so he’d put an end to that.
They’d talked about surrogacy and donors but if they were going to go that route, they wanted the baby to be biologically theirs.
Then Eddie had an idea.
“We’d have to run this by her obviously, but what if Maddie was our surrogate.”
“If they used your sperm, the baby would technically have both of our genes. Even though me and Maddie really look nothing alike.”
“That’s what I was thinking. Do we want to ask her? I mean obviously there’s a chance it won’t work but it’s worth a shot right?”
“Or you could just have sex with her and save us a lot of money.”
“Buck!”
“I’m kidding. Kinda.”
“Oh my god, I changed my mind. I dont wanna have a baby with you.”
“Eddie,” Buck whined. “I was joking.”
“I know babe.”
Eddie kissed the side of his head.
“So should we ask Maddie at dinner tomorrow night?”
“Chim might have a heart attack.”
“He survived rebar through his skull, I think he’ll live.”
*****
“Of course I’ll do it.”
“Wait really? That was way easier than I thought.”
“Buck,” Maddie reached across the table to take his hand. “There’s no one I know that deserves to be parents more than you and Eddie, and if I can help in any way, I want to do it.”
“Chim you okay?” Eddie asked.
“Yeah. Just trying to process the thought of my brother in laws, husband’s sperm being out inside my wife. No big deal.”
“Well when you say it like that it does sound kind of weird.”
“It’s better than Buck’s original idea.”
“That was a joke,” Buck screeched.
“I know my brother and I know exactly what his idea was. Eddie I love you, but not unless you were the last man on earth.”
“I feel the same way.”
“So we’re having a baby,” Buck raised his glass in the air.
“Potentially,” Maddie reminded him.
“We’re potentially having a baby.”
Everyone raised their glasses along with him.
*****
“Maddie, why is this taking so long? I thought all you had to do was pee on a stick.”
“Buck, baby it takes three minutes to show up. Chill out and be patient.”
Buck almost jumped out of his skin when the bathroom door opened.
“It’s positive.”
“Are you sure?”
“I took two,” Maddie thrust the tests at them, both positive.
“Holy shit,” Eddie muttered.
“We’re having a baby,” Buck was almost whispering.
“We’re having a baby.”
“You’re having a baby.”
Eddie and Buck grabbed Maddie in a hug.
“I’m so happy for you guys.”
“I thought this time would be a little less stressful,” Eddie said. “I was wrong.”
*****
Buck was glad that his husband had some prior experience with babies because as mucha s he loved kids, he was clueless.
“Eddie what's the difference?” he asked, holding up two types of bottles. “They look the same.”
“It’s because they are. That one is just more expensive. And we don’t need a big pack, just buy a couple and try them because the baby might not even be able to take them. Shannon bought these crazy expensive bottles for Chris and he ended up only being able to take the walmart brand ones.”
“Good to know. Baby shopping is hard,” he whined.
“It will get easier once we know the gender. I’m all for gender neutral or whatever but if it’s a boy he’s not wearing a onesie that says ‘daddy’s princess’. I can’t do that to him.”
“I agree. So for now basic stuff.”
“Basic stuff,” Eddie agreed.
“Do you want another boy? Or do you want a girl this time?” Buck asked once they were in the car. They were meeting Maddie at the doctor to hopefully find out the baby’s gender and he was a nervous wreck.
“I don’t know. I have some experience with boys, but I also have two sisters. I honestly don’t care as long as they’re healthy.”
“I wouldn’t mind having a girl, but Maddie would have to teach me how to do that fancy stuff to her hair,” Buck paused as he was hit with a realization. “Eddie what if this baby gets CP too. Or something else.”
“Baby CP isn’t genetic. It’s a birth defect. And if that happens to come up with this baby then at least we know how to deal with it, we’re not going in blind like I did the first time. And if our baby does end up with something that is genetic, we’ll face it like we always do. It’s going to be rough, but we’ll figure it out.”
“I don’t want something like that to happen. I know it’s out of my control and I know it’s selfish-”
“Hey, no parent wants their child to have a disease or something that is going to make life harder. We just have to hope that it doesn’t happen and even if it does,we’ll just be thankful that we have them, okay?”
“Okay.”
Buck took in a heavy breath as Eddie parked the truck.
“Are you ready?”
“Yeah I’m ready.”
They walked in to the clinic hand in hand. Maddie was waiting on them in the waiting room and Buck went to her immediately. He gave her a kiss on the head and placed his hand on the bump that had just started to show.
“How are you feeling?” Eddie asked.
“I feel pretty good. The morning sickness has finally gone. They’re started to move around a little. No real kicks yet, just some flutters.”
“Maddie Buckley?”
“Come on.”
The nurse led the three of them back to the exam room. Buck and Eddie waited outside while Maddie changed into a gown, then joined her when she gave them the all clear.
The doctor joined them soon after and started setting up for the ultrasound.
“So we’re at twenty weeks right now. Still having morning sickness?”
“No it’s finally gone.”
“Good. Are you feeling any movement yet?”
“Just a little. No kicks but some flutters.”
“Good, good. Okay, let’s see if they want to show us.”
The doctor spread the gel on Maddie’s belly and started to move the wand around. She reached up to take her brother’s hand.
“The heart beat is getting easier to find which is good, and it’s at a good rate. Development is looking good as well, so far you’re having a very healthy baby. And as for the gender, gentlemen do you want to hear or do you want to be surprised.”
“Surprised,” Eddie said.
“Write it down and give it to me,” Maddie instructed. “We’re throwing them a gender reveal party.”
“Alright.”
The doctor grabbed a pen and scribbled something on a note card that he handed to Maddie.
“Okay, everything looks good. Maddie you can get dressed and we’ll schedule your next appointment.”
“Thank you.”
“Wait a minute, why did nobody tell me it was a surprise?” Buck pouted.
“Because we knew you’d do this,” Eddie teased. “You just have to wait until friday. Two more days.”
“You planned the gender reveal without me too?”
“Honey you know you’re too impatient,” Maddie pointed out.
“And we wanted Christopher to find out with us.”
Eddie knew that using Christopher would break his husband.”
“Fine,” Buck pouted. “Now I’m just going to annoy you until Friday.”
“Jesus Christ.”
*****
The gender reveal party had been going smoothly. Only Maddie and Bobby knew the gender and Bobby had only been informed because Maddie had needed him to fill one of the old hoses with the right color dye.
Buck had claimed that using fire hoses was cliche but Eddie knew he loved it.
Everyone had cast their vote on the gender by wearing tiny pink or blue turn out pins. Eddie’s parents had come and they were being civil, but both Eddie and Christopher were keeping their distance. They also only kept up small talk with Buck. He knew he wasn’t their favorite person after he’d torn them a new one in front of everyone at the family reunion, but he’d convinced Eddie that they were still his baby’s grandparents.
“Hey Buck,” Chimney came up to the two of them looking a little scared. “I don’t want to alarm you but your parents are here. I didn’t invite them, I don’t even know how they knew where Bobby’s house was, but they're here and looking for you and Maddie.”
“Shit,” Buck mumbled. “Okay. This is going to be a disaster.”
When he found them, his parents were already making small talk with Maddie.
“Evan,” his father’s tone was neutral, but he could see the ice in his stare.
“Mom, dad. What are you doing here?”
“Well we wanted to be here to find out the gender of our first grandchild.”
“You have a grandchild. Christopher remember?”
“Yes of course,” his mother turned her attention back to Maddie.
“How are you feeling? Any sickness?”
“No the morning sickness has gone. We’re waiting on kicks.”
As if he was summoned, Eddie came to his rescue, “Hi Mr. and Mrs. Buckley. Buck, Bobby said to come out front. We’re gonna do the reveal.”
“Okay. Grab Chris?”
“I’m right here Papa.”
“You’re a little mind reader.”
Buck could see his father’s sneer when Christopher called him Papa.
“Come on buddy, we’re going to find out if you’re having a brother or a sister.”
“I’m sorry what?” his mother looked like she was about to fall over and die.
“Mom this is Buck and Eddie’s baby,” Maddie placed a hand over her growing bump. “I thought you knew.”
“Madeline you’re carrying your brother’s baby?” there was no hiding the disgust on their father’s face.
“I’m their surrogate. Did you not wonder why everything was firefighter themed?”
“They weren’t paying attention,” Buck muttered.
“What was that Evan?”
“I said you weren’t paying attention. You’ve never paid attention when it comes to me. You’re only here because you thought it was Maddie’s baby and now that you know it’s not, you don’t give a shit about it. But that’s fine, because we don’t need you. I’ve done fine for the last ten years on my own, and this baby will be just fine without you too.”
Buck picked Christopher up and turned away from his parents.
“Papa are you okay?” he whispered.
“I’m fine buddy. I’m not going to let them ruin this.”
Buck turned just in time to see Bobby and Athena ushering his parents away.
“You alright Buckaroo?” Athena asked.
“I’m fine Athena. This is supposed to be a happy day and I’ve let them ruin everything for way too long. They’re not going to ruin this.”
“Good for you,” she smiled and patted him on the back.
He sat Christopher down on the ground and Eddie joined them, wrapping an arm around his boys.
“Come on Maddie,” Buck held his arm out to his sister who squished in next to Chris.
“Alright everybody,” Bobby, Chim, and Hen were on top of the ladder truck holding the hose. “Inside of this hose is a certain color dye. You’ve all cast your votes, so let’s find out if the newest member of the 118 is a boy or a girl. Three, two, one.”
Hen turned on the water and a blast of blue spread into the street.
“It’s a boy!” Eddie grabbed him and kissed him.
“It’s a boy!”
“Yes!” Christopher cheered and wrapped his arms around Buck’s waist.
“Now we just have to name it,” Eddie joked.
“Damn it, naming them is the hard part.”
*****
Giving their baby a name turned out to be way harder than they thought.
“Naming babies is hard,” Buck complained over lunch one day. “I mean the name you give them is the name that they have for the rest of their lives. I can’t picture an old guy named Axel, but I also don’t know who could look at a baby and name it Carl.”
“Eddie, how did you and Shannon name Chris?” Hen asked.
“She picked it out.He’s named after Saint Christopher. It was supposed to be symbolic or something. I still wear the Saint Christopher medal she gave me when he was born.”
“Well there’s a couple of ideas there. Another saint name, something that starts with a C, or something that just matches with Christopher. Simple and classic, but that ages well.”
“Who knew there were so many different kinds of Catholic?” Buck sighed as he scrolled on his laptop.
“Well Christopher is Roman Catholic so start there.”
Eddie perched on the edge of his chair and wrapped an arm around him.
“Start with the C’s and see if we like anything there.”
“Carlos?”
“I have a cousin Carlos and I’m afraid our baby might be a little too white. Plus Carlos Buckley doesn’t really flow.”
“Wait Buckley?”
“Yeah. Christopher has my last name and we didn’t change our names when we got married. So I figured this baby could have your name.”
“Really?”
“Yeah baby. Unless you want him to have my name?”
“No. I kinda like the idea of him having my name.”
“Okay then let’s find something that goes with Buckley.”
“Charles?”
“Christopher and Charles, we’re not the royal family.”
“Okay yeah scratch that.”
“Okay I don’t like any of these.”
“Then let’s try something else.”
Once they had exhausted all the saint names, they moved on to looking at C names.
“Oh wait Calum,” Edie said, pointing to the screen. “I like that.”
“Me too, put it on the list.”
“I’m really glad you didn’t spell Christopher’s name with an F.”
“Yeah me too. Some of these are weird.”
“Who names their kid Cotton?”
“Not us that’s for sure.”
“Cotton Buckley. Has a nice ring to it.”
“Shut up.”
“Jesus why does everything sound weird with the last name Buckley?”
“Trust me a lot of stuff sounds weird with Diaz too.”
Once they exhausted all of their C name options they resorted to googling boy names that sound good with Christopher.
“At the rate we’re going this baby won’t have a name until he’s two.”
“Wait Miles is cute.”
“Miles Buckley. That doesn’t sound bad. I kinda like that actually.”
“Miles and Christopher. That works.”
“Our baby has a name!” Buck cheered. “Wait don’t we have to give him a middle name?”
“Chris doesn’t have one and neither do I. So we can skip it if you want? Or come up with something later?”
“Sounds good to me.”
*****
Maddie being in labor was the most stressful eight hours either of them had experienced. But once they were holding Miles in their arms, it was all worth it.
“Did you decide on a name?” Bobby was holding Miles who was swaddled in a blanket, fast asleep.
“Yeah we did. Miles Robert Buckley.”
“You named him after me?”
“You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a father Bobby. And I know you’re always going to be around for my son. So yeah, he has your name.”
“You’re gonna make me cry Buckaroo.”
Eddie took Miles, shushing him when he whined, so that Bobby could hug Buck.
“I’m proud of you two. You’re going to make amazing parents.”
“I really hope I don’t fuck it up,” Buck confessed.
“You’re going to make mistakes. Every parent does. But you’re also going to love that boy more than he’ll ever know and that’s what matters.”
“Thank you Bobby.”
“Daddy? Papa?” Christopher and Carla peeked into the room.
“I’ll give you guys some time,” Bobby patted his back and left the room, ruffling Christopher’s hair as he passed.
“Come on in buddy.”
Chris crossed the room to where Eddie was holding Miles.
“Do you want to hold him?”
“Can I?”
“Of course. Sit up here.”
Bcuk helped him get settled on the couch to the side of the room. He propped a pillow under one of his arms and Eddie set Miles in his arms.
“He’s so little,” he whispered in awe.
“You were that little once.”
“Really?”
“He’s gorgeous Buck,” Carla said.
“Of course he is. He looks like Eddie.”
“He has your curls. I think he’s gonna look a lot like Chris when he grows up.”
“He has a birthmark. A little one, right over his eyebrow.”
“That’s precious.”
“Papa, he’s holding my hand.”
Miles had a tight grip on Christopher’s finger.
“He knows you’re his big brother.”
Buck knelt down in front of his boys, running a gentle finger over Miles’ cheek.
“My boys,” he whispered.
“I’m so happy I think my heart is going to explode,” Eddie said.
“Me too. But in literally the best way possible.”