Work Text:
Part One: Christmas
Draco Malfoy
My hands tremble as I get closer and closer to the school entrance. My heart is beating and I’m nibbling again on my lower lip. I walk briskly, trying not to seem too enthusiastic. I never thought this day would come, the day I went on a date with Harry Potter. It seemed so surreal, like a dream. I’m not entirely convinced it’s not a dream.
My heart momentarily stops when I spot Harry. It seems to do that a lot. I used to ignore the feeling but this time it’s different. No longer do I have to pretend it’s not there, or try to block it out. I’m free to feel. Free to feel for Harry. The warmth spreads through my chest as I get closer to his bright smile.
“Hey,” Harry breathes. I chuckle, lips quirking up in a smirk. I can no longer keep a neutral face around him.
“Hello to you too Potter,” I reply. Harry rubs the back of his neck and gestures to the door,
“Should we uh-” I chuckle and nod. It’s a little bit awkward, but that was to be expected.
It’s Christmas eve and a fresh coat of snow sprinkles the ground. I shiver at the initial shock of the cold air. Not long after my body adjusts and I’m not so cold anymore. Harry and I start on our way to Hogsmeade, thick snow crunching beneath us.
“How was your sleep?” I ask. I mentally curse at my awkwardness. I really hoped this would be easier than it's proving to be. Harry inspects the snow as he scuffles through it. I walk beside him, fingers toying at a loose thread in my pocket.
“Not awful, you?”
“Could have been worse,” I reply. We both go silent again. I don’t know why it’s all of a sudden so difficult to converse. It’s abnormal for either of us to have a shortage of words. One of us should be babbling about something about now. I glance over at Harry, he’s still staring at the Snow. What’s so bloody interesting about snow? I rack my mind for anything to talk about to break the silence. By eyes fall on the black mess on Harry's head.
“Your hair is dastardly,” I tease. Harry runs his hand through the mop, chuckling. Finally, finally, he looks up at me. Emerald green meets silver and the butterflies in my stomach start stirring.
“I’ve told you before, my hair only does one style.”
“Which is what? I’ve just been shagged?” Harry throws his head back and laughs. The rich, smooth laughter calms my crazed nerves. I chuckle, the tension slowly leaving my body. Harry smiles at me, also looking more relaxed. I will never get used to being on the receiving end of his smiles.
“Well, we can’t all have your fabulous hair,” he rolls his eyes playfully. I pretend to flip my hair and scoff,
“You wish you had my hair.”
“Draco,” Harry laughs, “Your hair is white, I’d look ridiculous on me.” I have to agree with him, he would not suite my platinum blonde hairstyle. And honestly, I don’t want him to change his hair. It’s charming. I may complain about it a lot but I do like how it looks on him, it even looks slighter tamer today. The uncomfortable tension has finally left and I feel at ease as we walk through the snow towards Hogsmeade Village.
We stop first at Honeydukes. It takes all of my willpower not to buy everything in the store, I have a huge sweet tooth. I settle for some chocolate frogs instead.
As we walk around through the snow we debate on where we should go. The big problem is that we don’t want to attract attention. Harry’s turned down almost every suggestion I have at this point and I turned down a couple of his. I have to admit I’m getting more than a little agitated.
“The Three Broomsticks?” I ask. Harry shakes his head,
“Too many people, we’d be spotted.” I huff. I can see my breath. As much as I like Harry I had to admit this is bothersome. Since we’d agreed nobody could know we were going out together, perhaps going to Hogsmeade had been rather dumb. It just seemed like the traditional thing to do. But Harry and I were far from traditional.
“This isn’t working,” Harry sighs. I look out at the shrieking shack, I’m leaning on a very weak looking post. It’s a miracle it hasn’t fallen with my weight, not that I weigh all that much. “This was a bad idea,” Harry groans. I feel my heart drop to my stomach. I bite down on the inside of my cheek.
“Well then Potter,” I scoff, “You’re free to go, I’m not keeping you here.” I’m trying to ignore the way my heart aches in my chest like someone’s gone and squeezed it as hard as they can. I can tell Harry is staring at me, but I don’t stare back. If I do I might start crying, and I really don’t want to cry in front of Harry.
“Shit Draco,” Harry laughs, “That’s not what I meant. I want to date you, I really like you.” Relief washes over me, driving away the negative thoughts swirling in my mind. “I just meant, maybe going to Hogsmeade was a bad idea.” I chew on the inside of my cheek, fighting down a smile. I turn to Harry,
“It wasn’t a bad idea per se, just not the right one for us. If we were an average heterosexual couple it would have been perfect.” Harry laughs. He moves closer to me so our shoulders are brushing. I wrack my brain for different date ideas, I can’t let this be a total flop. What does Harry like?
“Let’s go back to Hogwarts, I have a better idea,” I smirk. Harry casts a curious expression my way and I just flash a sly grin in reply. He pouts, looking like a lost puppy. It makes my heart melt in my chest.
“Are you gonna tell me?” I shake my head,
“No,” I return. Harry complains as we start walking back. When we near the school Harry lags behind a few steps. I frown, brows drawing together, and turn around just in time to receive a ball of snow to the face.
“Fuck!” I yell, wiping the snow off my face. Harry is downright cackling. I growl and grab a handful of snow from below me, tossing it at the unsuspecting Potter. It hits him in the side of the head. He lets out a strangled cry, now it’s my turn to cackle. Harry runs towards me, catching me off guard and tackling me into the snow.
I grunt as I fall to the ground. Snow finds its way into my hair.
“Hey! Watch the hair Potter,” I snarl. I try to ignore the hand on my chest. I wonder if he can hear how fast my heart is beating for him. Harry laughs and I push him off of me. If he kept touching me I might have a heart attack. Harry helps me up, he has a devious smirk on his face. Before I can ask him what he’s planning he reaches up and ruffles my hair. I squawk loudly, which sends Harry into yet another fit of cackling.
“How dare you!” I spit, “The hair is off-limits.” I reach for more snow and Harry takes off, leaving me to chase after him. Even though I’m supposed to be mad I can’t help but laugh as I run after the stubborn Gryffindor. I feel so alive and free. Freer than I have been in a long time.
We reach the castle panting and sweaty, pausing in the courtyard to catch our breath.
“So,” Harry smiles, “What’s your new idea?” I smile deviously back,
“Not saying. Meet me at the quidditch pitch in 20 minutes, wear something comfortable.”
In hindsight, twenty minutes was not a lot of time to get all the way to the dorms and then out to the quidditch pitch. And I needed to grab stuff as well. I race to the dorms, changing quickly and running out before Harry has even arrived at the dorms. Then I'm bounding to the pitch with two broomsticks in hand.
Eventually, Harry arrives at the pitch. He greets me enthusiastically, smiling and waving like a dork. A very attractive dork mind you.
“Now will you tell me what we’re doing?” He whines.
“I would have thought I’d be obvious,” I say. I open my hand to reveal a small golden ball laying in my palm. Wings sprout from it as the snitch takes off into the air. I smirk at Harry, his eyes are alight with passion. He’s already bouncing on his heels. I hold out one of the brooms I’m holding,
“Loser had to plan the next date,” I say. Potter grabs the broom and mounts it,
“Deal,” He says, kicking off the ground. My face flushes at the promise of another date. Maybe this could be a regular thing?
Our competitive spirits kicked in and we teased each other for the whole match until Harry eventually caught the snitch. The snitch was extra elusive that day, it was already dark by the time Harry won. I wasn’t too bothered by losing, it just meant I had another date to plan.
Now, for the last portion of our evening, we stood in the astronomy tower gazing out at the stars in the clear, night sky.
“They’re so beautiful,” Harry sighs, leaning on the railing. I nod, gazing up at the shining sky. The stars were always something that calmed me. When I felt lonely I used to go outside and look at the stars and think that maybe there was someone out there just as lonely as I am looking up into the same sky. Maybe we can be lonely together. But for the first time, I wasn’t lonely. I was with Harry. I hope whoever is out there had somebody too. I don’t know how to say this all to Harry so I settle for a rather mundane sentence,
“The stars are wondrous. I love the constellations in particular.” Harry looks over at me, he’s practically glowing in the moonlight. My heart does a little dance.
“Could you show me?” I nod and point up into the sky,
“That there is the Ursa Major, see it?” I outline the constellation with my finger. Harry frowns, squinting at the sky and then shakes his head. “Give me your hand,” I demand. Harry flushes but does as he says. I take his hand, he points out his first finger and I trace the outline of the constellation for him.
“Oh,” Harry whispers, “I see it now.” I chuckle and move his finger lower, tracing another shape in the stars.
“That’s Ursa Minor,” I move sideways to trace a longer constellation. “And this one is my personal favourite, Draco.” Harry laughs and lowers his hand from the sky. He shifts his hand in mine so we’re properly holding hands now. I feel my cheeks flush crimson and my heart flutter. My stomach is tied in knots.
“Of course that’s your favourite,” Harry scoffs, nudging my shoulder playfully. “Although,” he squints at the stars, “It looks more like a worm than a dragon.” I huff and lightly smack his shoulder. He chuckles and leans closer to me, pressing our shoulders together.
“But y’know, I think that one’s my favourite too,” He whispers. There’s a tenderness in his voice. Harry’s eyes soften as he looks at me. I can see the fondness in them. My heart melts and my brain shuts down at his words. Embarrassed, I break eye contact and smile down at where our hands are connected, they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. I give his hand a squeeze. I don’t know what I’m trying to say but I hope he gets it anyway. Harry’s thumb strokes the back of my hand. I sigh at the therapeutic motion. Harry leans his head on my shoulder and a whole new set of feelings arise in me. I rest my head down on top of his.
“This was nice,” I say.
“It was,” Harry replies. I close my eyes, reveling in the feeling of being with Harry. “What does this make us?” Harry whispers, the quiet noise sounding harsh in the silence. A small seed of fear sprouts in my stomach. I don’t know what it makes us. I say that to Harry. “I don’t know about you,” Harry says, “But I’d really like to call you my boyfriend.” I can’t stop the huge grin that spreads over my face. I look into Harry’s eyes. The vibrant green takes my breath away, I wish I could live in his eyes. They’ve become my home now. The one place I feel comfortable. Granted, there’s still a lot I haven’t shared with harry but he knows more than most. I nod,
“I’d love that.” I feel giddy. The word echos in my head, Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend. The concept is so foreign and yet so pleasant. I haven't felt so incredible in such a long time. But Harry made me feel so many unique things, so many astonishing things. I adore it. I adore him.
Part Two: New Year’s
Harry Potter
I didn’t think it was possible to feel this way. I thought I had strong feelings for Ginny, but this- this was a whole new level. The fire crackles as Draco and I lay together on the black couch. The few other eighth years who had stayed behind, all Gryffindor’s coincidentally, were at a New Year’s party in the Gryffindor common room. Draco, as a Slytherin, was not invited to said party. I chose to stay behind to keep him company, it was difficult for us to find time together even with the limited number of people. I had no idea how long our relationship would stay a secret once Winter Break was over.
Draco’s hand gently squeezes my hip, reminding me of his presence behind me. I smile and cuddle farther into his arms. He buries his nose in my hair, something he seems to love doing. He seemed to enjoy touching my hair in general. He’ll play with it when we’re relaxing, burying his head in it. I imagine he’d thread his fingers through it while we kissed. My cheeks burn at the thought. We hadn’t kissed yet. Both of us were too nervous to initiate it. The tension between us was undeniable, but it was terrifying. Sharing a part of yourself is hard, especially for someone who holds trauma. For someone like Draco, who was physically abused, it’s even harder to get used to the positive affection. He’d said this not long ago when he had come to me after a nightmare and freaked out when I tried to hug him.
But right now he was content, nuzzling his nose in my hair and occasionally planting a soft kiss on my head. The tenderness and care in which he held me so were unlike anything I would have expected from him, but it was everything I’ve ever wanted. Part of me thinks it should be strange, being held by my former rival, but part of me thinks I should have expected it. All that tension between us had to go somewhere, and since we were no longer fighting it went elsewhere. Thus, our current situation. But I like this so much better than fighting.
“Harry,” Draco whispers, “I can practically hear you thinking. Is everything alright?” I smile as he calls me by my name. He’s only started doing that recently. Draco gently strokes my side, a relaxing gesture that has me melting into him. I’m not even sure it's possible to be closer to him than I am.
“More than,” I whisper. I really want to kiss him, I think. I want to know what his lips feel like, if they’re as soft as they look. Even though his lower sometimes have little dents from his habit of biting it.
I wiggle in his arms, trying to turn around without falling off. When I finally do Draco is looking at me with one eyebrow lifted.
“That seemed like an awful lot of trouble,” he mused. I shrugged. It was so nice seeing him this close. His gray eyes hold so much depth. I can see the happiness, the fondness, but also the sadness and the pain. I can everything he’s seen. All the moments he treasures and all the broken bits he tries to hide. Once he’s let his walls come down, his eyes become so incredibly expressive. I can tell what he’s feeling by just looking into them. But when his walls are up, it’s impossible. He only lets you see what he wants you to see.
Draco’s hand strokes my cheek, his eyes wandering my face. I nuzzle his hand, pressing a kiss into it.
“Your so beautiful,” Draco coos. My breath hitches and I gulp nervously. My eyes flick to his lips and I think he notices.
“Can I kiss you?” I whisper. Draco’s lips part in a small gasp. Then he’s nodding, pulling me closer towards him until our noses are brushing. He stops and I get the notion that he wants me to make the move. I move my hands to his neck, feeling the smooth skin under my hands. I have a fleeting thought about what it would look like to see hickeys on his pale skin. The thought quickly leaves and I focus back to where our noses are touching, breath mingling together between us. With a tilt of my chin our lips connect. Draco sighs against my mouth, his hand threading into my hair and pulling me closer to him. Fireworks explode inside me, my body tingles with happiness. All of my senses feel alive and I feel like the sun. Like I’m burning, but I never want it to stop.
We break away, panting.
“Wow,” I whisper. Draco chuckles and plays with my hair. I sigh happily at the feeling. Pressing into his hand.
“Wow, indeed potter,” Draco replies.
Part Three: Valentine’s
Draco Malfoy
Physically, our relationship has progressed a fair bit. Once we plucked up the courage to kiss it escalated quickly from there. Soon it was full-blown snogging, to hand jobs, to blowjobs. But we hadn’t gone all the way yet. I wanted too, I had to admit. And I think I’m ready. But I think I’d have to talk with Harry first, figure out what he wants, and boundaries. I feel that as people with a lot of emotional baggage, communication is especially important. And just because I’m horrendous at communicating my emotions doesn’t mean I can’t communicate my wants or needs. I sneak into Harry’s dorm, he’s sitting on his bed waiting for me. Ron and Hermione are out doing Valentine’s things, along with Dean and Seamus, and Neville- Actually I’m not sure where Neville is. Point is, we finally have time to be alone.
I collapse onto the bed beside Harry, sighing happily into the crimson sheets. Harry chuckles,
“Happy Valentines Draco,” he coos. I smile up at Harry, his usual bright grin is in place.
“Happy Valentines Harry,” I respond, “Got a present for me?” Harry blushes and runs a hand through his hair.
“Were we supposed to get presents?” I laugh and sit up, moving closer to Harry. I press and a quick kiss to his lips,
“No,” I laugh, “I was only teasing darling.” Harry flushes deeper at the pet name. It was something I’d adopted recently. I said it by accident while snogging and the wonderful reaction I got was enough to convince me to keep the name around. Harry pulls me back to his lips, kissing me passionately. I move to grab his waist, pulling him on top of me. Harry straddles me, keeping our lips connected the whole time. He gasps into my mouth as my tongue swipes at his bottom lip. When he lets me in I tangle my hand in his hair, pulling a groan from him when I tug at it.
“Draco,” Harry whispers. I start planting kisses down his neck before sucking on his collarbone. “Wait, Draco,” Harry pushes me away gently. Embarrassment fills me, I blush and bite at my lip. Harry kisses me gently, “Don’t fret, I just want to talk for a second.” I nod. Harry plays with the collar of my shirt, eyes flitting around the room. “I uh- I want to-” I raise an eyebrow which makes Harry frown at me, “Don’t do that it’s not helping,” he whines. I chuckle and smile at him, my thumb is caressing his hipbone. Harry takes a deep breath, “I want to go farther, like uh- like I want to have sex with you.” My heart stutters,
“Okay,” I whisper, “Where are you most comfortable?” I feel the need to ask, although I don’t think I could continue if he asked me to bottom. I don’t have anything against it, I just don’t like how vulnerable I feel when I’m not in control. I’ve spent my whole life being ruled by someone else, pushed around and used, not being in control. When we snog, I’ve always led, always been the dominant one. The idea of not being in control is terrifying because it reminds me too much of the past. Even if the situations are completely different and I trust Harry with my life.
“I mean-” Harry chuckles nervously, “With how we’ve done it so far, I figured I’d be the one bottoming. Unless you want-”
“No,” I cut him off. Harry tries to raise an eyebrow as I do, it doesn’t work for him. I remove my hand from his hair to run it across his forehead, forcing him to stop that horrid expression. “I’m more comfortable on top, if you don’t mind.” Harry grins mischievously before pulling me back into a searing kiss. I guess he doesn’t mind. His fingers toy with the buttons on my shirt, opening them one by one. My shirt slips off, falling onto the floor.
I break away from the kiss both to breath and to return to sucking his collarbone bone again. He whimpers and I pull off with a pop, leaving a dark bruise. I love how it looks against his tan skin and press a quick kiss to it. Harry starts tugging at my trousers as I push him down onto his back, kissing on his bare torso. I move his hands away from my trousers, we're doing this at my pace.
“Fuck,” Harry shudders as I kiss lower and lower.
“Patience darling,” I smirk against his stomach. Harry swats me gently on the head,
“Shut up, less talking.”
“Feisty,” I nibble at his stomach playfully. He lets out a breathy laugh. The sounds Harry makes are music to me. I love the way he whimpers and moans when I do certain things. It’s intoxicating- He’s intoxicating. He’s a drug I can’t get enough of, and I’m addicted to him in all the best ways.
Harry nuzzles my neck, wrapping his arms around my torso as he lays on top of me. I gently kiss the top top of his head.
“Are you alright darling?”
“M’perfect,” Harry mumbles against my neck. I laugh and wrap my arms around him as well. My limbs are tired but at the same time, I feel energized.
“It looks like you had a gift after all,” I purr. I can see harry's blush on his chest.
“Thank you,” he whispers. My heart melts and I tilt his chin to gently kiss him.
“Thank you ,” I respond. Harry smiles at me and goes back to his place in the crook of my neck. Eventually, we will have to move as someone could catch us. I desperately wished I could freeze this moment, make it last forever. I felt so filled with adoration, I care for Harry with every fiber of my being. Eventually, we will move. But for now, I'm perfectly content.
The next morning in breakfast I take great pride in the way Harry winces as he sits down.
“You alright mate?” Ron asks. I fight the urge to laugh, I refuse for this to be the way we are outed. Harry’s flustered face is laughable, just like the excuse he stutters out. Pansy and Blaise both notice the interaction. Pansy scoffs,
“What’s up with Potter?” Hearing his name, the trio glance over. Our table is quite small and we sit close.
“You mean besides the giant stick up his arse?” I snort. Blaise and Pansy both snicker. If only they were aware that I was not talking about a metaphorical stick. Harry goes completely red and resorts to picking at the food on his plate. Ron scoffs and smiles at Harry,
“Ignore them mate,” he says, “They’re not worth it.” Harry just nods, stuffing food into his mouth. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Harry that shade of red. It’s positively delicious. Harry glances up at me and while Blaise and Pansy are distracted I send him a quick wink. He chokes.