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JARVIS- his no good, traitorous, misbehaving child/AI- had locked him out of his workshop until he had “spent at least two hours with other people”. Tony grumbled and complained under his breath, but headed to the common room. He was guaranteed to find at least one person there.
He stumbled upon most of the women he knew. Pepper, Jane, Darcy, Natasha, Carol, Maria Hill - and was that fucking Melinda May curled up in chair by the window?- were joined by Steve, all reading books. He didn’t recognize the titles. But their were names like Temptation, Harlequin, Silhouette, Blaze; all displayed proudly on the covers. There were also people of all sorts pictured in embraces, kisses, hand-holding, or even under bed covers.
“Are you all reading romance?” he scoffed.
“Yeah, so?” Darcy replied, turning a page.
Tony walked by her, flicking her book as he made his way to the coffeepot. “Those things will rot your brain. Nothing but sugar and fluff and pseudo-porn.”
“The romance genre is a billion dollar business, you know,” Carol supplied.
“We have a division for it at Stark Publishing,” Pepper added.
Tony grimaced. “We do? Still. Fluff. You should be reading something else.”
“Like what?” came from several chairs.
“Mysteries, horror, suspense, supernatural, hell anything that stimulates your brain better than that waste of paper.”
“Romance novels have all that,” Jane said.
“Plus depictions of single parents, blended families, adopted kids, and they model what a good relationship really should be,” Maria added.
“Cap, Capsicle, how on earth did they rope you into this?”
“Darcy said it was an important part of my pop culture education,” Steve replied. “Besides, Ma had a battered copy of Pride and Prejudice she read over and over. And she would get copies of Modern Romance and True Story second or third hand from neighbors and co-workers.”
Tony just huffed and puffed at that. “Fine. Name me one successful romance novelist.”
“Jackie Collins.”
“Judith Krantz.”
“Barbara Cartland.”
“Nora Roberts.”
“The Bronte sisters.”
“Phillipa Carr.”
“Janet Daily.”
“Jude Devereaux.”
“Danielle Steele.”
Tony held his hands up in submission. “All right, don’t all speak at once. I’ll just take my coffee before I call Rhodey, see if he can save me from the mind numbing effects of what ever the hell is going on in here.” He didn’t see everyone sticking their tongues out at him as he left.
He wandered back up to his suite, ordering JARVIS to call Rhodey.
“Tony, you do know I have a regular job, right?”
“Pffft. Forget it Rhodes. You’ll never believe what the ladies corralled the ole Captain into doing.”
“I’m sure you’re gonna tell me anyway.”
“They were reading romance novels, Rhodey. Romance novels.”
There was a few moments of silence. “You’re seriously judging them for a book genre? Tony, you’re better than that. Besides, I know plenty of people who read them. Me included. You might wanna give them a try.” With that Rhodey hung up.
Tony made a noise of disgust. He’d take a nap until he could go back into the workshop. There just happened to be one of those stupid novels on Pepper’s bedside table. It seemed thin enough. He could get through that without his stomach turning.
Thirty minutes later he was sniffing and feeling feelings. He scrubbed at his eyes. Damn them for being right. He hated it when other people were right. He wasn’t gonna tell them. Ever. He’d have to remember to get JARVIS to delete the video later. Right now, he had a book to finish.