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Taeyong watched as another raindrop hit the window and began to roll down. He watched as it connected with other droplets and eventually pooled on the windowsill. A loud clap of thunder pulled him from his stupor and he had to stop himself from falling off of the window ledge he was sitting on.
1:27 am
Right here was one of his favourite places to spend his many sleepless nights, especially when it rained. The drops of rain gave him comfort, the occasional lighting strike enthralled him and the thunder rumbled in his chest with a feeling of adoration.
1:42 am
With his and Johnny’s apartment on the 11th floor he could clearly see the city on the horizon, the tall buildings glowing in the night. The neon fluorescent sign from the gas station across the road shone up at him. There was only one sole car in the parking lot but that was expected for so late a Wednesday night. He could see the traffic lights change from green, to orange and then to red. Occasionally he would count the cars that passed but there were never many. He loved the way all the lights looked behind rain covered windows.
2:09 am
He turned his head toward the inside of the bedroom. The digital clock showed that it was currently 2:38 am. He really did need to get to sleep at some point… but not just yet. Turning back towards the window he was just in time to see lightning strike. Then he watched as a car flew by without even stopping at the red light and Taeyong let out a muted chuckle. So many people do that at this hour.
2:55 am
Taeyong had struggled with sleeping since he was a teenager. It started with a few restless nights here and there. Then when he went to collage it started getting worse, waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep. Then it progressed to not being able to sleep at all some nights. And now he feels like he has more sleepless nights than not. Sometimes he’ll just lay in bed with Johnny and listen to his breathing, his heart beat, feel his warmth and it’ll comfort him and he’ll eventually fall asleep. When he’s having particularly bad night, like tonight, he’ll go to the balcony if it’s not raining but when it is he’ll do exactly what he’s doing now.
3:11 am
In some ways he’s grown to love his little habit. He enjoys how everything works differently in the dead of night. Most of the people he know are fast asleep. He sees things they don’t, and he knows he’s seen more sunrises than all of his friends combined. That’s one of his favourite parts, the sunrise and the way the birds chirp. He also likes being alone with his thoughts…sometimes.
3:28
In other ways he hates his little habit. For starters he hates the frustration that comes with wanting to sleep and not being able to. The feeling of heaviness in his chest when he knows he needs sleep to function the next day but he just can’t. Most of all he hates the over thinking, he can overthink about anything and everything. From things as big as worrying about his future or things as small as worrying if he left his car unlocked. The thoughts grip him and never let go. Those are the nights he wishes he could just fall into sleeps clutches.
3:42
A car pulls into the gas station and a man gets out and quickly runs towards the convenience store, his hands over his head to protect himself from the rain. Taeyong watches as the doors open for him and only a minute later he runs out clutching a bag. He speeds away. Taeyong smiles, he loves seeing other peoples lives at this hour, what was so important that had to be bought now.
3:51
He is bought back from his thoughts when he hears Johnny stir in their bed, a grunt and the rustling bed sheets.
“Taeyong,” Johnny softly whispered, “what are you doing, baby?” His voice was hoarse from just waking up but it was still gentle and full of love. Taeyong looks over and sees his silhouette that was now sitting up right.
“Couldn’t sleep,” Taeyong mumbles.
“Again?” Johnny sighs, “that’s three days in a row baby, I thought you were doing better”
“ ‘M sorry”
“No baby, it’s okay,” Johnny flicked on the bedside lamp and a soft light illuminates the room. Johnny threw his legs over the bed and stood up. He walked over to Taeyong and stroked his hair gently.
“Come on,” Johnny took his hand and slowly helped him get off the window ledge. He led him out of the bedroom, both of their sock clad feet making the it a little slippery as they walked along the wooden floor. Johnny flicked on the kitchen light, let go of Taeyongs hand and turned on the kettle. Silently he pulled two mugs out of the cupboard and filled them with tea once the kettle was boiled.
4:01 am
“What happened tonight, Yongie?” Johnny asked softly as handed Taeyong his mug of lavender flavoured tea.
Taeyong took the first sip and felt the hot drink dance on his tongue, the lavender adding a slight tang to it. He swallowed and felt the heat travel down into his stomach. His body instantly warmed.
“Just couldn’t sleep,” he shrugged his shoulders, “sorry for waking you.”
“I don’t mind”
They moved to their seats at the small table in the middle of the kitchen where they sat and talked about many small and irrelevant things while just enjoying each other’s company.
4:57 am
Taeyong was guided back into their room and Johnny moved to get them both under the covers. They lay facing each other, their features just visible with from light coming from the single window. The cotton sheets felt soft against Taeyongs skin and the pillow under his head felt just right. It was warm next to Johnny, somehow he was always warm, but it bought comfort.
5:12 am
“Just try and relax, baby,” Johnny’s arm slung over Taeyong to run his fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. It was a feeling Taeyong always loved and he showed it by audibly letting out a sigh. He could fell Johnny smile.
5:24 am
“Follow my breath, Yongie” Johnny took an exaggeratedly deep breath in and Taeyong followed.
and out and in and out and in
and sleep finally over took Taeyong.
5:49 am