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Listen Before I Go

Summary:

Peter is struggling after the events of endgame.

Work Text:

~If you need me, wanna see me, you better hurry, I'm leaving soon...~

-Flashback-

"Mr. Stark... We won. We won.. Mr. Stark?.. I'm so sorry, Tony."

As he was gently pulled back by Rhodey and Pepper, he heard a faint thumping in the back of his head. Slowly, it started to decrease in volume, in variety, in.. in, it's entirety. His throat felt raw and the world muted, what was happening, why is Rhodey trying to hold him back, why can't he go to Tony?...

"You really thought that would end this, Stark?" A deep voice crawled from behind the trio, their eyes widening.

"Such a stupid mistake for a world-renounced genius... This world.. It's mine now." The voice chuckled and Peter snarled, gritting his teeth.

"Karen... Activate 'Instant Kill-Mode'" He snarled and the world turned red.

Sorry can't save me now, sorry I don't know how, sorry there's no way out...

~

"Tony!" Peter sat straight up, panting, scanning around his room. Hugging his knees, he threw the blankets off and sobbed into his knees. Collecting his senses, he gasped and choked.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., please check on Morgan and P-"

"Already done so, sir. They're safe and sound in their bedrooms." Relaxing slightly, Peter stood, slightly swaying, and found his way into the kitchen.

"Can't sleep either?" A soft, slightly accented, feminine voice came from the shadows. Jumping slightly, Peter turned to see Wanda, only ignoring the bright red her eyes were sporting. Smiling softly, she patted him on the shoulder.

"He would be so proud of you, Peter." Walking past him to get some milk and cookies, she gently led him to the table. Sitting down, rubbing his eyes, he sniffed slightly. Wanda sat beside him and gently held his hand.

"When I lost Pietro, I... I felt the same way you do right now, little spider. I lost my mentor and the last person to.. Be there for me." Whispering slightly, she squeezed his hand. Peter sniffled and teared up, biting his lip hard.

"I just miss him so much, Wanda.. Everywhere I look, I see his face. Even when I dream." Looking down and biting his lip, Peter shook his head.

"What he did was brave and saved us all, but dammit, I miss him, Steve, ... And Nat.." Wanda pulled him into a gentle hug and rubbed his back slightly. Letting Peter cry himself to the point of exhaustion on her shoulder, she led him to the couch and draped a blanket over him.

Taste me, these salty tears on my cheeks, that's what a year-long headache does to you...

He awoke sometime later to Bruce gently shaking him on the shoulder, with a mug in his hand.

"Hey, Pete, it's just me, Bruce." The scientist held his mug in both of his hands and looked down quietly.

"Heard you had a rough night." Peter shook his head and refused to make eye contact with the doctor.

"Peter, I miss him too.. He was.. Truly extraordinary. He gave me a chance when no one else would or could. He helped me start over." Bruce looked at Peter, gently pressing him to try to talk about it but was met with a bone-crushing hug from the young boy. Hugging back just as tight, he ruffled the boy's hair quietly.

"Help me out in the lab today. Carol was going to stop by later, we were going to do a family night thing tonight. Something to try and bring some happiness back in here. Wanda could use it too and so could I and Bucky. Sam's bringing pizza, Scott's in charge of movies, Thor is bringing juice and some space games with Quill, Valkyrie, Groot, Drax, and Mantis. You and I can have some quiet time, maybe work on one of his projects.. He might like that." If Bruce had tears in his eyes, neither of them cared to call it out. Peter nodded slightly, walking with the doctor, discussing the next task for the day.

~

"Tree, you are too young for this kind of adult juice!"

"I! Am! Groot!"

"Watch your filthy mouth, Tree! I swear, Rabbit, you let him speak to me like this?" Thor gestured wildly and held back a now struggling Groot from reaching a bottle of beer in Thor's hand. Peter giggled softly watching the exchange and looked at Rocket.

"Thor, you're the one that taught him that shit! Oh goddammit." Realizing his mistake, Rocket facepalmed and shook his head.

"Guys, come on, Groot, go to your spot on the couch. Thor, leave him alone and quit parent-shaming Rocket." Carol smirked, taking the bottle out of Thor's hand and popped it open. T'Challa smiled and chuckled quietly, moving Groot out of the room, against the tree's protests.

"I got movies galore! Now, where's the tacos?" Scott smiled and gently pulled Peter into a hug when he saw the young man.

"Uh, Scott, we're having pizza, not tacos." Peter bashfully smiled and giggled.

"Wha- No tacos? Are you kidding?" Scott's eyes widened, Shuri coming up from behind him and giggling, punching his arm. Carol came over and draped an arm over Peter's shoulders, walking him to the couch and sitting at his level in front of him.

"How're you doing, spiderboy?" She smiled softly and gently pinched his chin. Peter nodded slightly and bit his lip.

"Better. Bruce and I worked on some of his projects today for Morgan's suit. He... He would have liked it." Peter nodded slightly and clenched his jaw slightly. Carol nodded slightly and patted his knee.

"He is so proud of you, Parker. So proud." Walking away, he smiled slightly and perked up upon seeing Bucky.

"Buck! I didn't expect to see you tonight." Peter smiled wide and hugged him tight, earning a chuckle from the taller man.

"Well, I had to come see my favorite spider-kid, now. Plus, I heard there was pizza." Bucky winked and ruffled Peter's hair, Peter grateful he showed up.

"Petey, Petey!" He heard a small cry of joy from behind him and he smiled wider, opening his arms to see a little girl running towards him.

"Hey, little Stark!" He smiled and spun her gently, Pepper smiling softly, watching them. Peter smiled softly and came over to see her, gently putting Morgan down.

"Hey, Mrs.-"

"Peter.."

"Right, sorry, Pep, I just.."

"It's alright, Pete. You're more than okay. " Pepper smiled wide, holding Morgan in her arms.

"How're you guys holding up?"

"We're managing. We watch daddy's videos everyday. Isn't that right, Morgan?"

"Uh huh!" She nodded, smiling softly. Peter smiled gently and hugged them both.

"Pizza, pizza, guys!" Clint and Sam's voice echoed through the room and everyone gathered around the table, Bruce clearing his throat.

"I know this year hasn't been the easiest.. But.. I am glad for nights like these. Where we all gather and hang out as a family. That's what we are, no matter what. Tony, Nat, Steve... They wouldn't have it any other way. Here's to them. We love and miss them." Everyone raised their glass in silence and smiled kindly at one another.

"I don't understand... This is bread.. With tomatoes and cheese on it?" Drax inquired and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Yeah, dumbass." Rocket retorted, earning a kick from Quill under the table, much to everyone's amusement.

"I am neither dumb or ass. My ass is not dumb either. It has no brain to be dumb with." Drax stated, matter-of-fact tone. Rocket shook his head, Mantis giggled, and Quill rolled his eyes. Peter giggled softly and looked down, biting his lip softly. Shuri smirked and whispered to Peter, giggling.

"He's Jared, he's 19, and he never fucking learned how to read."T''Challa clicked his teeth at his sister for her language and she smiled innocently, much to Peter's amusement.

He would have loved this... If he hadn't had stepped in to save us, he could still be here with us.. It's all my fault..

Gasping slightly and trying to hide it, he caught Bruce's attention.

"Pete, you okay?"

"Great, yep, yep, totally fine, I'm gonna go to the bathroom." Peter raced off and found the nearest bathroom, leaving the rest of the Avengers at the table.

"He is not totally fine." Mantis stated.

"He's struggling. He doesn't sleep and when he does, he never stays asleep. Nightmares or is awake all night or even both sometimes. His anxiety is off the charts.. I thought tonight could help him cheer up a bit, but I should have taken it slower." Bruce frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a hand over his knee softly.

"Whatever is going on, we are here to help, Bruce. We owe it to you all." Wanda nodded encouragingly, lightly patting his knee.

"Yeah that reminds me.. Until we get everything established in space and whatnot... We need a place to crash, Smashboy." Rocket chipped in, trying in his own way to help.

Bruce nodded and bit his lip.

"That may just be what we need. A full house. It might help him adjust, especially after what happened to May.." Bruce tampered off slightly and sighed.

"T'Challa, Shuri, Okoyote, Guardians, Carol, Scott.. Especially you, Pep, He-.. I need your help." Pepper nodded slightly.

"I had been thinking of moving somewhere else for a while now. Until I can get on my feet again." Morgan nodded enthusiastically and giggled. Bruce smiled at her and nodded his thanks at each of the members subtly.

"We will move in as well. We need a compound outside of Wakanda for missions here." Shuri nodded, with T'Challa's approval, and Scott's too.

"Dr. Banner, you may need to check on Mr. Parker, his heart rate is exceedingly high and rising and it appears he is in severe emotional distress." Bruce raced up and found the locked bathroom door, knocking on it several times.

"Pete, it's Banner, please let me in! I'm here to help you but I can't do it outside of the door, Pete!" He strained to listen to whimpering on the other side of the door and tried to break down the door. He looked behind to see Wanda and Carol behind him, hands raised.

"May I?" Carol asked and aimed her hand at the door handle. Bruce nodded and got out of way quickly, shielding his head. Wanda and Carol aimed at the door and managed to break it off it's hinges, seeing Peter in the bathroom. Their hearts sank to see Peter, curled up on the floor, vomit beside him and him shaking furiously on the floor. Bucky ran over and gasped quietly to himself.

"All of you need to back off. Carol or Wanda, you stay, but one of you need to leave." Carol looked at Wanda and mentioned for her to leave.

"Get blankets and a hot drink ready for Pete. I got this, Wan." Carol whispered and stood beside Bucky as Wanda and Bruce left to do as she had directed.

"Peter, Buck and I are gonna come in, okay? Just me and Bucky." Carol spoke quietly but firmly, walking towards the younger man. Bucky walked on the other side of the smaller male and gently rubbed his back.

"You've gotta take deeper breaths, Pete. You're going to blackout if you're not careful."

~I'm not okay, I feel so scattered...~

"Bucky's right, spiderboy." Carol gently ran her fingers on the side of Peter's head through his hair, and waited for a response from him. Panting slightly still, he grabbed Carol's hand and squeezed hard.

"That's okay, Pete, squeeze it as much as you need. I'm here."

"He should be here.. It's all my fault, all mine.." Peter whimpered and panted slightly. Bucky looked at Carol and his jaw dropped slightly. Gently holding the other hand of Peter's, he sang quietly. A song he'd hum to Steve whenever he was sick and borderline unconscious. Peter sighed slightly and his breathing slowed after some time.

"Do you feel like standing, Peter? You've gotta get off the floor, you're almost laying in vomit, spiderboy." Peter nodded slightly and tried to push himself up too fast, seeing stars.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, Parker." Bucky gently picked up the boy and brought him over to the couch, wrapping him in a blanket. Bruce came over and sat beside him, Pepper and Morgan on the other side of Peter.

"You've gotta start coming to me, Pete, I can't help unless you let me in." Bruce shook his head softly and crossed his arms gently. Pepper played with his hair and smiled at him reassuringly.

"We can help with whatever you need, Pete." Pepper gently pinched his cheek and looked at him.

"I'm sorry.. It was so sudden and I didn't expect it. I got scared and just... Didn't want to ruin tonight. I really loved the idea and didn't want to trash it.. I'm so sorry."

Just like I was sorry when Tony died...

Peter slightly flinched.

"Kid, there is nothing you can do to ruin a night like this. We all love and care for you as a family. We're here. Okoyote, T'Challa, Pep, Morgan, Carol, the Guardians, and Scott agreed to move in for a little while and take breaks from missions for a little while. At least until we've all adjusted a bit more." Peter nodded softly and looked around to see smiling, kind faces in return.

"Let's start a movie. Take our minds off some shit and we'll deal with room situations after the movie. Let's pick a funny one, how about... This one?" Clint smiled and put on the movie, sitting on the floor with Bucky, Thor, Wanda, T'Challa, and the Guardians.

~

Hearing soft snoring and loud snoring coming from Thor, Peter rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and tried to turn over, noticing he was still on the couch with Bruce, Pepper, and Morgan, each with their own blankets.

Waking up with his head in Bruce's lap while they were all asleep in the living room and his legs stretched out in Pepper's lap with Morgan hugging his feet, Peter smiled wholeheartedly for the first time in a while. He closed his eyes and went back into a peaceful sleep for the first time in a longtime.