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Red couldn’t deny the concept that inviting the Guyzoch onto the Virgin Victory, their most crucial machine and major weak point, was more than a little ridiculous. Of course, he recognized the real logic and reasoning behind it- their prior animosity towards one another had been formed out of circumstance, and the space pirates had already made their effort to help in fighting back the other invaders, but it didn’t erase the fact that they had decided to invite the people that, less than a day ago, had been actively trying to kill them right onto their very important flagship, no matter the reason they had to rationalize it.
“Always such a buzzkill, Red!” Pink had proclaimed, as soon as he’d voiced his concerns. “Vorkkie already said there was nothing to worry about!”
He found it hard to take confidence in that, but he reminded himself that even if something bad were to happen, there were over a hundred incredibly competent fighters prepared and ready to fight back. And considering the state that the pirates themselves were in, well...it didn’t seem like it would be much of a fight.
“Be watching your step, here!” His attention was pulled away from Pink and over to Yellow, carefully helping a black-armored figure limp across the main deck and towards the infirmary. “Would not want to fall, yes?”
“No, no, I suppose not.” The pirate replied, in a hoarse voice that Red could barely hear from the distance. “I appreciate your kindness, I- ah-!”
“Gotcha!” In a flash, Red was by his other side, supporting him before he could lose balance and fall.
The pirate seemed surprised by his reaction. “Oh. Thank you very much, sir.”
Red wasn’t sure if he wanted to be inviting or distant, so instead he just focused on the task at hand. “Come on. Let’s get you looked at.”
It seemed like there wasn’t a single hallway that wasn’t abuzz with activity, whether it was workers ferrying documents back and forth, or Wonderful Ones in the midst of celebration. In most circumstances, Red would have chided them for being so distracted, but after saving the world from two different alien attacks in one day, he supposed he could go light on them. His team deserved a break.
The ship’s infirmary seemed equally hectic, though it had definitely calmed down over the last few hours. Wonder-Medicine and Wonder-Nurse, along with the rest of the Victory’s onboard staff, had managed to put the major medical concerns under control. Most of what was left consisted of casting injured limbs and bandaging wounds.
“Ah, sir!” One of the medical staff greeted Red with a polite salute. “You have another injury we need to look at? We should still have a few beds free somewhere. We’ll get to this one as soon as we can.”
“Understood.” Red gave a nod in return. Yellow seemed more concerned with offering the injured pirate his own somewhat awkward words of reassurance, so he looked for an empty space in between the sea of injured Guyzoch and Wonderful Ones. “Yellow, over here. I see one.”
“Of course, captain.” Yellow followed along, polite as ever. “We will be getting you a place to rest soon, comrade.”
As soon as they were able to find a place to set the pirate down, he let go and turned to leave.
“W-wait! Sir! If you have a moment-”
With stifled dismay, he turned back around. He wasn’t going to be overtly rude, but he’d rather not stay when he had other work he could have been doing. Hopefully it would be short.
“Yes?”
It was hard to make out any details from under his battered armor, but the alien looked almost...embarrassed? “I do genuinely appreciate your assistance. I understand you may not be very excited to help us, but we all owe you Dearthlings our deepest gratitude.”
“Earth-lings.” Red corrected. “And you’re welcome.”
“I must ask, eye contact is a custom for your species, is it not?” Before he could say anything, Red watched him begin reaching for his masking helmet. “If so, I should at least express politeness for the beings who treated us with such kindness!”
He shook his head. “No, there’s really no need to-”
Red wasn’t sure why his words cut off. Maybe it was just out of sheer confusion. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to see under the helmet, but it likely wasn’t a beautiful, sharp-featured face that wouldn’t have been out of place on a model magazine, if not for the pale blue skin and elaborate black markings framing his face.
“My name is Bisho.” He said, smiling a dazzling smile. “I give you my thanks.”
“Ahh-” Swiveling around, Red found Yellow staring at the pirate with slack-jawed awe. It only lasted for a moment, before he seemed to become aware of himself and flushed pink. “My apologies. I did not mean to stare. It is just...your leader, he recruited you for a reason, yes?”
Bisho nodded. “Prince Vorkken only chose the most experienced fighters for his army. That’s what I was told. He needed powerful warriors in order to complete his conquest. I fought him myself. As soon as he landed on my planet, he was able to pick me right out of a crowd! I don’t know how, but he determined just from a look that I must have been an incredibly powerful combatant, and he challenged me to a duel!”
“That is not what I…” Yellow trailer off, covering part of his face with a hand. “Ah, never mind.”
A strange thought was coming to him. Red looked to his other side, to the nearest bed. It was occupied by another pirate, wincing soundlessly as a medic bandaged up one of four of their deerlike legs. They too had removed their mask, revealing a face that was more rounded and boyish, but still undeniably attractive, with white freckles scattered across dark cheeks.
“Excuse me.” He said, tapping him on the shoulder. “Strange question, but how did you join the Guyzoch?”
“Huh?” He flinched back at the sight of Red, before realizing who he was talking to. “Oh. Um, Prince Vorkken and his forces landed on my planet, right outside the village I live in. When we went to go investigate the ship, he immediately singled me out from our group and demanded that the two of us have a battle.”
“Why do you think he chose you in specific?”
“I’m not sure.” He replied frankly. “I presume he has some extrasensory ability? My kind are empaths, perhaps somehow he just knew I was the warrior he was looking for.”
“Uh-huh…”
At that, he took a good, hard look at the entire infirmary around him. Aside from the various bruises, cuts, and scrapes, each of the figures he could see wearing the characteristic black armor of the Guyzoch were very beautiful, in one form or another. Maybe he wasn’t an expert on what aliens would consider ‘attractive,’ especially considering the numerous horns, hooves, extra eyes, and markings that made it very clear that the pirates were of a different species, Red could say with relative certainty that there was not a man among them that was not very aesthetically pleasing.
And for some reason, that made him feel...odd.
“Yellow, I’m going to report back to Commander Nelson.”
“Of course, Captain. I will be with you shortly.”
He didn’t mind if he was or wasn’t. Red had rushed out of the infirmary before he or Bisho had time to blink.
Upon his return to the bridge, he found the Commander in the midst of a conversation with Professor Shirogane. Rather than dare trying to interrupt, he immediately veered off into the chattering crowd in search. It didn’t take him long to notice blonde hair and lavender skin.
“Ah, Blun- er, Wonder-Red!” Vorkken managed to notice him just as quickly. “Pleasure to see you, I was worried you’d forgotten about me!”
“Your injuries compared to the rest of your crew were minor. I thought it would be best to focus on that first.”
“Ah, but haven’t you creatures of Dearth ever heard of the ‘social call?’ ‘Mingling?’” The pirate gave a carefree shrug. “I suppose what’s done is done. What brings you to me now?”
Why did this feel so unbelievably awkward? There wasn’t anything especially out of sorts. Maybe he was still coming off the adrenaline of a long fight? Yeah, that had to be it.
Red tried to keep his tone calm. “I had a few questions about the Guyzoch.”
“Oh?” That immediately seemed to get Vorkken’s full attention. He reached across to a nearby chair and prodded his former first mate. “Chewgi, Wonder-Red has questions for us! This should be very interesting!”
Just like the others, Chewgi had also removed his helmet, and he too seemed incredibly rugged and handsome, though his six jet-black eyes were just a slight bit jarring.
“Do as you please.” He spoke in his usual growl. “But I do not guarantee an answer. Do you wish to join?”
Red blinked in surprise. “What? I thought the Guyzoch was disbanding.”
“My army may go home if they so choose, but many of us will continue to travel the stars. If you so wish, we still have a place for you.” Vorkken smiled almost kindly. Something about it sent a shudder down Red’s spine.
“What say you? Join me, and together we will roam the galaxy as-”
As what exactly? What was the ending of that sentence supposed to be?
“Actually, I was curious about your recruitment methods. How do you decide who to induct into your rankings?”
Vorkken clasped his hands together. “What a question! It certainly wasn’t an easy task. Combat prowess was a necessity, but I can admit I needed to pay a certain level of attention towards...aesthetics.”
“You are someone of some authority, then? I can see it in your eyes.”
He couldn’t imagine he’d been able to get any sort of look at his eyes through the mask… “I’m not sure I understand.”
“Well, of course you’ve noticed my own good looks,” Vorkken replied, flouncing his hair a little. “And I am royalty, of course my tastes are a bit more…particular than the average Rhullo. I was worried I wouldn’t have been able to find anything on other planets, but there was such a wealth of beauty to be found. Ninety-nine men! Oh, but only ninety-nine! I just needed to have a full set!” He grinned, with a look in his eyes that was more than a little...flirtatious? “I’d been told beings from Dearth had fighting skills that left something to be desired, but I assumed I could at least find one to act as a splendid novelty! If nothing else, he would make a wonderful courtesan.”
Red blinked, trying to make sure he hadn’t misheard. “C-Courtesan?”
He nodded. “Of course! Well, the rest of my fighters fulfilled the same task in between battles, obviously. But as they used to say on my planet, one can never have enough husbands!”
Red could feel all the color leaving his face. “What??”
“Well, it’s perfectly normal on Rhullo.” Vorkken shrugged innocently. “The more the merrier! What would make for a stronger army than a very close bond? Tactical genius, in my opinion. A hundred warriors and lovers, all fighting in unison. So poetic…”
Once again, Red could feel his face start turning the color of his suit. “S-so when you suggested that I join your crew back in Blossom City…”
The pirate looked at him curiously. “What did you think I was asking you?”
“I-I-” Any attempts at a rational response burned up into nothing, leaving Red stammering like a fool. He had no idea what to do with himself, it was impossible to get out of the quagmire of confusion and embarrassment that was currently taking up every part of his brain.
“Yo, Red?”
He recognized Blue’s voice immediately, though it wasn’t quite enough to break him out of his loop. Even when a gloved hand gave him a rousing pat on the shoulder, all he could manage was looking up at his teammate.
“You look like you’re gonna pass out, dude.” Blue said, a vague hint of concern tinging his devil-may-care tone. “You need to sit down, or something.”
“I’d be happy to help with that!” Vorkken chimed in. “By all means, Wonder-Red, feel free to take a seat on my lap!”
Without another word, Red sprinted off yet again, face a bright burning crimson all the way up to his ears.
Blue watched him go, slowly rotating back to look at the pirate. “...Now what the heck was that about?”