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“The quadratic formula...I know I wrote that down somewhere...”
“...Hey! Sara! Are you even listening to me?!”
Sara jumped in her seat, flinging her pencil halfway across the table. Her eyes widened as she began to emerge from her little world; it was certainly common for her to get lost in her thoughts, but the sudden shock of hearing a voice other than her own was new. “...Huh?” she sputtered, with much less poise than usual in her voice. “What was that, Joe?”
Next to her, Joe tried to hide his grin. “You’re pretty cute when you’re surprised, y’know.” He stood up slightly to retrieve the runaway pencil. “I was saying, though,” he continued, “that you’ve been stressin’ out about this test waaay too much. You should be more like me! I’ve already accepted that I’m gonna bomb it and you don’t see me gettin’ gray hairs.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sara asked cooly, snatching her pencil back. “For starters, I’m not cute.”
“Jury’s still out on that,” Joe interrupted. Sara didn’t hear him.
“And, on top of that, I think I’m in the right for stressing about this. It’s worth half of our semester grade, Joe!” she snapped. “I feel so unprepared...and if that wasn’t enough, I have to worry about your test for you!” Her grip on the pencil hardened, and Joe was positive that she could’ve used it as a weapon if she wanted. “Enough messing around...Let’s get back to work.”
Joe frowned. “Wait a sec, please--” Deftly, he swiped her notebook and held it tight against his chest. “Just hear me out, Sara!” He put on his best puppy-dog eyes.
For a moment, he thought she might stab him, but her cold gaze quickly melted. Setting the pencil down, she leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms. “Alright. What?” she asked, the irritation slowly fading out of her tone.
Looking at his best friend, Joe thought how cool it was that Sara could go from being the Samurai Woman to a normal highschooler so swiftly. The transformation was almost seamless, so smooth and easy, but it always left Joe in awe-- after all, very few people got to see this other side to her, a more relaxed and softer Sara Chidouin. He didn’t know why she let him see her this way, or even why he was the catalyst that changed her so, but he was...very, very grateful that she did. Yeah, that’s the word he was looking for. Grateful.
Meanwhile, staring back at him with warm eyes, Sara was also vaguely aware of the effect Joe had on her. He brought down her walls, made her vulnerable in a way that usually made her uncomfortable, but not this time. No, she never felt uncomfortable with him; in fact, Sara felt more comfortable with Joe Tazuna, resident clown, than without. She was grateful for that, although she would never say it aloud. As funny as it sounded, she was grateful for Joe and his friendship.
“Well,” Joe started, “before you oh so rudely interrupted me, I was gonna say that you need a break from all this studying business before your eyes fall out of your head. And I know what you’re gonna say,” he added as Sara opened her mouth to argue, “but there’s still enough time before the test to study later, right?”
Begrudgingly, Sara shut her mouth and slid deeper into her chair. He had a point.
Sensing she was out of arguments, Joe visibly brightened. “So I was thinkin’ that we could get a quick karaoke sesh in! What better way to rewind after a long day?” He ignored how Sara’s eyes quickly darted to his own empty notebook. “I’ll even let you choose the songs! Deal?”
If this was anyone else, Sara would have no problem telling them to drop the idea and focus. Even if the test loomed a few days away, she would never forgive herself if she did poorly-- yet, in the back of her mind, she also knew fully well that she’d never get anything done if she didn’t relieve some stress first. Sometimes, it seemed like Joe knew her better than she knew herself.
She let out an exaggerated sigh, flipping her hair over her shoulder with a flourish. Her eyes were closed (for dramatic effect), but she could tell that Joe was struggling to keep his laughter in. “Well, I suppose there’s no helping it,” she lamented, “you have foiled my plot to make you actually study yet again…”
“Ah, what a shame it is,” Joe exclaimed in a similarly dramatic tone, “that the stoic Samurai Woman will have to admit defeat to none other than me!” He kicked his chair back, sending it skidding across the tile floor. “How humiliating!”
Unbeknownst to him, Sara’s eyes softened for a single, fleeting moment, and suddenly her heart ached like it never had before for a reason she didn’t fully understand. Quickly, she batted it away like a leaf in the wind and shot him a sly grin.
“How ever will my ego recover from this?” she mused, a hand to her heart, “How will I face my family agai--”
Their folie à deux was suddenly brought to a screeching halt by a small, shuddering underclassman, who Sara recognized as the library assistant and Joe recognized as a pain in his ass that kept throwing him out of said library.
The shrinking violet, struggling to look the older students in the eye, whispered nine little words: “Ah...p-please be quiet in the library, you two…”
“...I cannot believe you made me do that.” Sara muttered.
“Hold on, when did I make you do anything?” Joe asked jokingly. “I think that was totally voluntary.”
Groaning, Sara pulled her collar over her face. She hoped her blush wasn’t too visible (but it was, and Joe thought it was adorable). “I know, I know,” she moaned, “but it was so embarrassing...! I’ve never been scolded in the library!”
“Don’t take it too personally,” Joe shrugged, stretching his arms to the bright sky above them. “I get told off by that girl all the time. I can’t help havin’ a loud voice.”
“That’s the point...!” Sara groaned again and, deciding it was futile to hide, emerged from her shirt collar like a turtle. “Ugh. Anyway...we’re here. I’ll go get us set up.” She reached for the doorhandle, but someone else’s hand reached it first.
“Nah, I’ll get it,” Joe said, holding the heavy door open for her. “I’ll tell ‘em the usual room, so you can just go right in ‘n wait.”
“Ah...are you sure?” Sara asked, but her friend had already left for the counter.
“...Alright,” she murmured to herself-- maybe he felt bad about the library thing and was trying to make up for it. That’s very Joe, she thought, and decided not to dwell on it.
The frigid air-conditioning of the karaoke joint felt like a slap in the face compared to the gentle caress of the spring breeze outside. Light filtered in through cracks in the poster-covered windows, barely illuminating Joe’s figure at the front desk. He turned around and shot her a thumbs-up as the door shut behind Sara.
“Looks like you have everything under control,” she remarked, passing him and the counter and heading towards the dimly-lit hall of karaoke rooms. Her shoes made muffled taps on the old carpet, echoing through the empty space. It wasn’t the nicest place, but it served its purpose well enough.
The room they usually used was, thankfully, empty when Sara arrived. It hadn’t changed much over the years-- two beat-up leather couches surrounding a long, low table with an old tablet and a bowl of mints. Sara always commented that some other type of candy would be better, especially something strawberry-flavored, and Joe always said that they’d taste terrible if they were as old as the mints were. He had a point.
She took off her blazer and hung it neatly over one of the couches. Joe would probably get them cheap drinks from the vending machine after he checked them in, so Sara figured that she had around five minutes to waste. It only took a few moments for the tablet and connected television to power up, and then she was left with her thoughts.
Relaxing on a couch, Sara let her mind wander back to the incident in the library. Ignoring the obvious embarrassment of the whole thing, it wasn’t actually...that bad. In fact, she kind of liked it. It was rare for her to have that much fun in a place like the library. Acting all outrageous and dramatic wasn’t something she was able to do often-- or, more accurately, it wasn’t something that she let herself do. She had a standard she held herself to.
“But Joe doesn’t,” she mused aloud, “and that can be so freeing sometimes...”
He made her feel like she didn’t have to be strong and stoic all the time, the perfect Samurai Woman that everyone made her out to be. It was so nice to drop the mask of immaculate, cold Sara Chidouin once and awhile.
So why does my heart hurt thinking about him...?
“Ready to party?” a voice sounded from the door. With an unceremonious slam, Joe entered and locked the door behind him, the drinks Sara had predicted in tow.
“More like hardly party,” she remarked playfully, taking a bottle from his outstretched hand. “Do you ever wonder where they get this soda? It’s like...the off-brand of an off-brand.”
Snorting, Joe removed his blazer as well and threw it next to Sara’s. He undid the top button of his shirt and loosened his tie a little, relishing the coolness of their room. “I got no idea,” he replied, “I’m just thankful it’s dirt-cheap.” Taking a sip of his drink, which was supposed to be a cola of some sort but barely passed for it, he reclined on the couch and pointed a lazy finger at the tablet. “Pick your poison, Sara. I did say that you could choose the songs.”
She chuckled. “So much power you’re giving me.” Gently, she picked up the little device and began to scroll. The amount of options was immense, but it was difficult for her to find a song she knew all the words to. Seconds passed in comfortable silence, Sara hmm-ing under her breath and Joe quietly tracing her concentrated figure with his gaze.
“Ah, here we go,” she finally said, standing and retrieving a microphone from its stand. “You mind if I do a solo song first?”
“No problem,” Joe replied, giving her another thumbs-up. “I’ll judge if you’re good enough for Japan’s Next Idol.”
“You better not,” Sara laughed.
The opening began with a fast and bright melody, and Sara turned her back to Joe as she anxiously waited for the lyrics to start. Behind her, Joe smiled and took another sip.
This wasn’t the type of song Sara normally chose-- Joe knew she struggled to sing the quick lyrics that were common in idol-esque songs-- so it caught him off-guard that she’d willingly sing something she wasn’t comfortable with. Actually, the more he thought about it, it struck him as very Sara-like that she would choose a song she wasn’t comfortable with, because Sara was never afraid to try new things. It was one of the first things he noticed about her, back when they were little first-years struggling through their first days of highschool. She had always seemed so sure of herself, so confident in her abilities, while he wondered if he had any to begin with. He admired that part of her, along with so many others.
But he also knew that she wasn’t necessarily as confident as she appeared, that her bravery was sometimes just a mask. He admired that too. Joe just wished that she didn’t feel the need to be strong all the time...
...And god, he was glad she was facing the other way, because his face felt so warm now.
He hadn’t even realized that Sara’s song was almost over, the melody beginning to fade out into nothingness. As the screen dimmed, Joe noticed with a smirk that Sara was trying her best to hide how winded she was. Must have been a pretty fast song.
“How was that, Mr. Judge?” she asked, eyes betraying how tired she really was. He didn’t know why she chose a song like that, but he couldn’t help but be impressed.
“Not bad, not bad,” he said, nodding. “I think you’ve got what it takes to be a real idol, Miss Chidouin.”
“Yeah, right.” Sara rolled her eyes and held out the mic with an evil smile. “Now it’s your turn.”
The clock on the wall read 9:00 when Sara recovered from another laughing fit.
“Oh my-- really? Has it really been that long?” she said, wide-eyed. “Crap, I completely lost track of time...my parents are gonna be so mad...”
“Way ahead of ya,” Joe said, shooting her a signature grin and fishing his phone out of his blazer pocket. After messing with it for a moment, he turned the screen around and showed her a text exchange he had with her mother almost two hours ago.
“When did you do this?!” Sara exclaimed.
“Between songs,” he shrugged, pointing out the message her mother had last sent. It read “Have fun, kids! Don’t worry about being home late, Sara deserves the break from studying so hard. Sometimes I think she likes schoolwork more than her friends!”
"It's not a school night either," he added.
“M-mom!” Blushing, Sara yanked the phone away and quickly locked the screen. “A-anyway...thank you for that. Did you wanna do another song real quick before we get kicked out?”
Joe nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, I’m up for one more! On one condition, though--” he held out his hand-- “you gotta sing it with me! We can do a duet!”
There was little hesitation on Sara’s part, which both impressed Joe and made him unbelievably happy. Her smile was warm and bright, so different from the stoic expression she usually had during school, so far removed from the Samurai Woman persona that you’d think they were completely different people. She reached out and laid her hand atop his, her soft skin feeling light as a feather on his palm.
“Let’s do this,” she agreed.
He already had a song in mind. Dropping her hand (somewhat reluctantly), Joe searched on the little tablet until he found what he was looking for and selected the song with an excited click. They both got to their feet and picked up the mics as the music began, and Joe noted that Sara didn’t seem to recognize the song.
“What song is this?” she asked.
Knew it, Joe thought. “Just go with it,” he half-shouted as the volume increased. “I’ll be the red lyrics and you can be the blue ones!”
“Alright,” Sara replied, not sounding entirely convinced, but already getting into the groove of the song. Her skirt swayed as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She didn’t always know what Joe was thinking, but sometimes it was fun to do things as impromptu as he preferred.
Her part was first, and though she didn’t hear the lyrics before, she sure sounded like she had. Like honey, her voice sounded sickeningly sweet. She caught Joe’s eye during the middle of the verse and winked, making his heart beat way faster than it should. “You’re pretty good at this, huh?” he said softly.
Then it was his turn, and although few people would’ve guessed it, Joe was actually a pretty good singer. He just had to put his mind to it. The emotion in his voice was potent, like he was speaking right from his soul. It caught Sara by surprise. She had heard him sing so many times, especially that night, but this was different somehow. This was like...a new side of Joe, a more vulnerable and exposed version of himself hidden beneath a peppy exterior. Sara wondered why she hadn’t seen it before...or maybe she had, but just didn’t know it.
He had his eyes closed for most of his verse, completely ignoring the screen. How many times had he heard this song? Sara thought he practically had it memorized. His grip on the microphone seemed loose, like he was pouring so much strength into his voice that there was nothing left in his entire body. It was entrancing.
And then, as the lyrics sparkled in both red and blue, he looked at Sara.
“I don’t know why you hide,” he sang to her, “from the one that you love...” He smiled, but his eyes looked concerned, almost sad in the dimly lit karaoke room. “When you know you can cry to the one, always confide in the one that you...
...Love.”
The interlude strung itself between them, Joe holding the mic close like a safety net and Sara standing motionless next to him. Her own mic laid carelessly on the floor.
“...Sara,” Joe began, scratching his head awkwardly, “y’know that we’re both supposed to sing during that part, right?”
He laughed, but Sara was silent, her expression unreadable. “Was that...” She paused, looking anywhere but at him. Her voice was soft, barely audible over the music. “...was that supposed to be about me, Joe?”
“A-ah...Well...” Now it was his turn to look anywhere but into her deep purple eyes. “...yeah...’cuz it reminds me of you, and how you try to be so strong all the time even though you don’t have to...” He didn’t mean to, but it all came pouring out. “B-because I don’t want you to pretend to be something you’re not, Sara...I want to be someone you can be yourself around, y’know? And I--”
Sara closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Enough.” she said, her voice muffled by Joe’s shirt. “That’s...enough.”
Joe jumped and prayed that she didn’t notice how fast his heart was beating. He scrambled to complete the hug and dropped his mic in his haste. “W-wait, Sara--! I’m so so sorry if I said somethin’ wrong, I--” he stammered.
But Sara lifted her head, and instead of looking anything like Joe expected, she had a wide smile painted on her face and her eyes were warm, warmer than Joe had ever seen them, as warm as his were when he looked at her. She chuckled, a little laugh from the bottom of her heart, and glanced up at him through her bangs.
“No, that’s not it.” she said. “That’s not it at all. I think I just...had a realization. After all this.”
“Yeah?” He tilted his head.
Sara buried her head in his chest. “I think I love you, Joe,” she whispered.
For a moment, trying to process that, he was quiet.
“...Joe?”
“...I think I love you too, Sara.”