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Kageyama has never been interested in girls. To put it more precisely, Kageyama has rarely been interested in anyone, and never romantically. He is pinpoint-focused on volleyball, being the best that he can be, and he knows too well that he's stepped on plenty of people to achieve that. He likes to think he's different now, or at least trying to be; he's on a team that accepts him, needs him, maybe even likes him. He finds that he doesn't mind them all too much (he enjoys their company half the time, even).
And then there's Hinata. Kageyama isn't sure what he would classify Hinata as, because he's never had anyone like that in his life. Hinata is a whirlwind, bright and sunny and way too excitable about nearly everything. He's exactly the kind of person Kageyama didn't think he would ever get along with. Their personalities are complete and total opposites unless volleyball is concerned; Kageyama grudgingly admits they're similar in that aspect, they both have drive and even if Hinata isn't as naturally gifted as Kageyama is, he's determined and well, it's something Kageyama kind of admires. Maybe it's the reason they become such fast friends; they're both focused completely and wholly on being the best volleyball players they can be.
Hinata's someone who doesn't think it's strange that Kageyama's day is completely focused on when he can practice. He accepts how awkward Kageyama is and most importantly, he doesn't bring up his past. Hinata seems the fastest to accept that Kageyama wants to change. And somehow they click, they work in sync and Hinata is the only one able to hit Kageyama's tosses with ease. Not only that, but he loves hitting Kageyama's tosses, which is a word Kageyama's never thought he would hear directed at anything involving himself.
He'd described it to Kageyama once, the way his heart beats fast and he's filled with the feeling that he can do anything, and Kageyama's left staring because nobody has ever, ever said something like that to him. They talk about how difficult he is, how intimidating, how nobody can hit his tosses because he's too self-centered and Kageyama knows it's true but he'd never cared before what happened in middle school. Hinata, though, is always there to hit his toss and to call for one more, and he looks like he's been given the best gift in the world and it's because of Kageyama. He thinks that's when it happens, or at least when he realizes it.
Kageyama is completely and totally, head over heels in love.
Xxx
Kageyama has absolutely zero experience in romance, which is probably why it takes him so long to notice that the way his heart speeds up around Hinata is maybe not normal. He takes it as a side-effect of Hinata's intense energy, at first, then feeling pumped over volleyball, which is what they usually do together, and then maybe just really strong friend affection, because he's never had much experience with that, either. When he realizes he's in love, like really, really in love, he feels like the bottom of his stomach has dropped and what's left is an abyss of swirling anxiety and uncertainty and annoyance at such a trivial thing messing him up so much. He doesn't have time for this. He's rejected enough girls to know how things go, and it's not going to be like that with Hinata. Maybe it's just infatuation at having finally found someone as passionate as he is; after all, he's not really sure what love is like. It will pass, probably.
Friendship is embarrassing enough as it is, especially with someone he'd so vehemently hated at the start of their relationship. They've gone from fighting to arguing to bickering, they still tease and prod each other, but there's no heat behind it, and Kageyama feels like he's losing his edge. He's worried that when he snaps at Hinata, when he elbows him too hard to tells him how stupid he is on court, people will notice that he doesn't mean it, that he thinks the exact opposite most of the time, that they'll see through his cover and worse, Hinata will see through it, to the way his face gets warm when he tries to compliment him or the way he'll sometimes just watch him on court.
Hinata is amazing to watch; Kageyama's felt like this every since he'd first seen him in middle school. He's short, slender, but he has powerful legs and arms and a face that conveys his intense energy and focus. That face can just as easily break into the sunniest smile Kageyama thinks he's ever seen, and he's enraptured completely when he sees it. He makes himself glare harder just so nobody notices how much he's paying attention. Sometimes at home he looks in the mirror just to make sure he's still got it down, because it feels like whenever he's with Hinata lately, his face is way too relaxed and he looks weird or suspicious, because he's terrible at that kind of thing, being relaxed. The one time he'd tried smiling, for real, had been a disaster that he's not going to repeat.
He ends up face-down on his bed, groaning, because this isn't fair, he didn't ask for this, things were so much easier when he just cared about volleyball instead of volleyball and Hinata. He can't even use volleyball as an escape like he used to do for things, because Hinata's there, and he honestly doesn't want to play without him. It's not the same anymore, and he kind of hates it, but he also can't bring himself to because it makes playing even more exciting, somehow.
Kageyama ends up going for runs way too often.
Xxx
The fact of the matter is that Hinata is extremely, unfortunately bad with personal space. Even from the beginning, he's been close to everyone, hopping onto their backs and allowing himself to be carted around like a 5-year-old. Kageyama had been extremely uncomfortable at first, because he's not at all used to people wanting to be close to him, but Hinata never notices when he's getting to close, he's just there, leaning over his shoulder, breathing his air and Kageyama can't stand it, but not for the usual reasons. He hates when Hinata's face gets too close and he can let himself imagine that he's doing it not because of his lack of impulse control, but because he wants to be close to Kageyama. Kageyama becomes all too familiar with the scent of his shampoo.
Even worse are the times when they've slept next to each other, at training camp or a few times they've crashed at each other's houses. Hinata is not at all a still sleeper. He throws his blankets and arms and legs out at all angles, all over anyone who happens to be next to him, which is why most people are reluctant to sleep next to him.
The first time it happens, he's set up his futon next to Kageyama's, because they've gotten pretty close and he's always very forward with what he wants, and what he wants on this particular night is to talk about how they're getting with their quicks, and how amazing Kageyama had looked on court earlier when he'd tossed the ball.
“My hand is still stinging,” he says, and his cheeks are pink and he looks like a kid on Christmas. Kageyama settles for pinching his face and telling him he's embarrassing before he does something dumb.
After they all fall asleep, sometime in the night Kageyama's woken to something soft (not soft enough) smacking him in the stomach, and he nearly jumps out of his skin. His eyes adjust enough to see it's just Hinata, having rolled in his sleep so that his face is too close to Kageyama's and his arm is tossed over his chest and this is the weirdest situation Kageyama's ever been in by far. He doesn't have any close friends or siblings, so he's always slept alone, and he doesn't know the first thing about dealing with a restless sleeper. In the end, he just allows it to happen, deciding it's not worth it the first time he removes Hinata's arm and it ends up right back where it was.
He wakes up in the morning to an entire group of people snapping pictures and Hinata curled up against him, drooling, hair sticking everywhere, and Kageyama nearly has a heart-attack as he scrambles up and tries to delete every single picture everyone has taken. Hinata's groggy after being rudely awoken from his sleep, but when Nishinoya sends him a wayward piece of evidence later, his cheeks visibly color and he shows it to Kageyama.
“That was entirely your fault,” Kageyama says defensively, glaring. “You should have told me you sleep like an idiot.”
“I don't sleep like an idiot! You sleep like an idiot! Look, I didn't position your legs like that. You did it yourself.” He pushes his phone closer to Kageyama's face, as if Kageyama needs proof. He flushes and shoves it away.
“Delete that.”
Surprisingly, Hinata straightens up in defiance and pulls his phone back. “No. I like it. I'm going to frame it.”
“You won't,” Kageyama says, but he honestly wouldn't put it past him. “Gimme that,” and then they're tussling for the phone and they end up tangled again and someone takes another picture.
Kageyama hates everyone, especially Hinata. If he tells himself that, he figures it will maybe push all the conflicting emotions out and he'll be mercifully neutral.
Hinata sends him the picture later, and he can't bring himself to delete it.
Xxx
Kageyama thinks he can settle for just being close with Hinata; he's resigned himself to it, because Hinata's definitely probably straight, he thinks, and Kageyama doesn't even know what he is himself. All he knows is that when he sees Hinata, it feels like everything else in the room disappears and he doesn't care about anything but the messy hair and endless enthusiasm put in front of him.
He can tolerate Hinata being so close all the time, their legs pressing together (not just brushing, honest-to-god squished together) when they eat lunch on the roof, legs sprawled out in front of them; he can handle seeing Hinata change in front of him, seeing the muscles move under his smooth skin and the way he sometimes will maintain eye contact with Kageyama as he undresses, if they're talking about something he's interested in. It's like he has absolutely no shame, and Kageyama guesses he doesn't really either because he doesn't care if anyone else sees him getting changed, but this is Hinata. Hinata is the exception to every rule he has ever even considered.
He even lets himself be roped into spending the night, sharing Hinata's bed when Natsu insists on sleeping the room with them and nobody can say no to her bright sunshine smile (apparently it runs in the family). Hinata's bed is cramped and he sheepishly apologizes, and Kageyama says it's okay but he doesn't really think it will ever be, because Hinata's back is pressed up against his chest and there's flyaway hair tickling his neck and it is so, so not okay in every sense of the word. The worst part is, Hinata's so innocently oblivious to everything, thinking this is okay because they're friends, that Kageyama feels dirty so much as touching him in an overly-familiar way. Which is all the time.
Hinata seems to thrive on touching, even when they're arguing, and he gets up in Kageyama's face (as much as he can, with his height), or when he's startled and grips Kageyama's shirt from behind. It gets to be so much that Kageyama actually ends up missing his presence when he's not there, the few time's he's been sick from school or on holidays when they end up hanging out anyway. He's started to enjoy warm skin touching his, or when their shoulders touch and heat bleeds through his jacket. He ends up daydreaming about it, even.
But he can handle it.
What he can't handle is when Hinata bounds up to him after practice, face flushed and hands fisting the hem of his shirt, staring at him fiercely like he's about to get into another argument. Kageyama's already getting ready to respond when Hinata blurts it out.
“Will you go out with me?!”
His voice is too loud and Kageyama stares, because he isn't really sure what he's asking. Go out on a date? Go out somewhere as friends? There's no way Hinata would ask him out; the other day he'd been talking about how cute one of the girls in his class is. Kageyama forces the brief flicker of hope down into his stomach, with the rest of the things he's been surpressing.
He says okay. There's no harm in hanging out together. They do it all the time already, although usually they don't go anywhere other than each other's houses or the convenience store on the way home.
The way Hinata's face lights up makes it hard for Kageyama to keep the butterflies at a manageable level. He's bouncing on the balls of his feet and going off about how there's a great movie he wants to see and he thinks Kageyama will like it, too, and of course that's what it is, Hinata had just wanted someone to go with him to see a movie and Kageyama's grateful for the ability to crush the butterflies then and there.
Everything's fine and he isn't disappointed at all.
Xxx
They get together on a Sunday, agreeing to meet up at the local movie theater. Hinata looks good (cute) in everyday clothes, and his hair's as messy as always, but he keeps smoothing it down like that's going to do anything. He seems a little on edge, and Kageyama figures it's because they're about to see a scary movie. (When Hinata had told him which one it was, they'd gotten into an argument about who would end up covering their eyes first, and Hinata swears it's going to be Kageyama, but Kageyama is determined to outlast him.)
The movie is okay, Kageyama thinks, but he's not really sure because he and Hinata spend most of the time glancing at each other, trying to see who is getting scared, not wanting to be the first to cover their eyes. Hinata jumps a good few times but stares fiercely at the screen, and Kageyama does the same, so when they finally get out they both feel exhausted with the exertion of trying to keep tabs on each other and watch the movie at the same time.
“You looked away first,” Hinata says, stubbornly, when they exit the theater into the too-bright sun.
“I was trying to see if you were looking away!” Kageyama knocks Hinata in the head with the back of his hand, teasingly, and then Hinata's trying to jump on his back in revenge and they end up staggering in an attempt to stay upright.
Kageyama hates how natural it feels to be with Hinata like this, and does his best not to let his mind wander to how it would be if it were an actual date, because that's too much.
They end up getting meat buns, like always, and Hinata insists on paying. He'd paid for the movie, too, bristling and saying it's because he'd invited Kageyama out so he was going to pay, and Kageyama could get it the next time. His face is pink, and Kageyama feels like his is too at the mention of a “next time”.
The day goes faster than he'd expected, and at the end they walk home together, Hinata talking about what he'd do if they were up against a cursed ghost like in the movie, how Kageyama would be terrified but Hinata would protect him, and Kageyama rolls his eyes and keeps walking when he realizes Hinata's trailed off and is no longer next to him. He turns, and there's Hinata, staring at him and looking like he wants to say something but doesn't know how to say it. That's definitely rare.
“What?” Kageyama gives him a look. “Did you get scared? It's not even that dark yet.”
“No!” Hinata screws up his face for a minute before it goes back to the indiscernible stare he'd fixed on Kageyama. “It's just, uh...”
Kageyama waits, watching as Hinata fidgets with his hands in his pockets.
“I've never really done this before, and it's okay if you don't want to, we don't have to or anything but maybe it'd be okay-” He's babbling like he does when he's nervous and Kageyama has no idea what he's trying to say, so he tells him to spit it out. Hinata takes a deep breath and it comes out in a rush. “Can I kiss you?”
Kageyama's about to say yes, unthinkingly, when he realizes what Hinata actually asked, and it feels like the floor is dropping out from under him and he wants something to steady himself on and maybe he's just dreaming this whole scenario and it's not actually Sunday yet, he's still sleeping, because he's had plenty of dreams like this before. Hinata's face is falling though and he's back to babbling, saying it's okay because yeah it's kind of a weird thing to ask, haha, and then Kageyama finds himself stepping forward, once, twice, three times, because fuck it, if it's a dream he's going to do it.
Hinata's lips are warm and chapped because he's always biting them, but they're softer than Kageyama could ever have imagined, although he definitely tried not to. Kageyama has never kissed anyone before; he has to bend down and the angle is awful, but when he pulls away Hinata's grinning like he's just won nationals.
“I thought for sure you were going to say no,” he says, and he sounds relieved and breathless. “That's what people do at the end of dates, I think, but-”
Kageyama's jaw drops. “Dates?”
“Yeah?” Hinata cocks his head (he's precious) and frowns. “I asked you on a date, and you said yes, and we've been on a date for like six hours.”
“I didn't think you-” Kageyama's stepping back like someone punched him in the gut and, honestly, it feels like it. He repeats dumbly, “Date?”
Hinata is staring at him, and then he's doubled over laughing and laughing and Kageyama's face screws up into a glare, but he mostly just feels shocked. “You didn't know it was a date! I asked you out! You're so stupid!”
“You're the one who's stupid, dumbass!” Kageyama says, defensive. “How was I supposed to know, I thought you were-”
And then Hinata's standing on his toes and kissing Kageyama again and he's okay with being shut up like this, if it means what he thinks it means.
Xxx
When they see each other at practice the next day, Hinata's sunshine and smiles like he always is, and Kageyama wonders if he just dreamed the whole scenario. He wouldn't put it past himself, honestly, he's in that deep and he knows it, hates it, and accepts it.
Hinata becons him closer, looking like he's got something really, really important to tell Kageyama, so Kageyama leans in, sort of wary because the last time Hinata did this, they'd ended up tackling each other to the ground.
It happens again, incidentally, when Hinata smacks his lips against Kageyama's and Kageyama knocks him over, trying to ruffle his hair for being stupid. Hinata's laughing and shouting underneath him as he tries to pry Kageyama's hands away, and he's warm and solid and this definitely isn't a dream because his knee lands in Kageyama's side, hard. The rest of the team doesn't even give them a second glance because this is about as natural as the sun rising in the morning, as long as they don't go on too long, and Kageyama realizes maybe he's been the stupid one all along.
Later, on the roof at lunch, Hinata confirms it, when he sits too close again, presses their knees together and this time Kageyama presses back and is rewarded with a beaming smile, and he realizes that they've been like this the whole time, head over heels and stupid and he doesn't actually mind it one bit.