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When Sana was in high school, her world was confined to the people she knew at school. It was only a narrow slice of the much bigger world, but Sana wasn't aware of that. To her seventeen-year-old self, high school felt like everything. The friends she hung out with, the reputation she had among her peers, it was honestly the most important thing in the world to Sana back then.
It's only when Sana steps out into the real world for the first time, as she stands alone--completely by herself--at her college orientation's social mixer event, that Sana realizes the world is truly big.
Sana takes a sip of her drink and leans against the wall. She spent three years of her high school life looking down on people who didn't fit into her crowd of popular kids. The nerds, the geeks, the theater kids, they were all beneath her in high school (especially the theater kids). But without any friends by her side at this unfamiliar college, Sana is now the one who doesn't fit in. She thinks this must be karma.
After ten minutes of looking around the room for a familiar or friendly face that she can strike up a conversation with, Sana feels like too much of an outsider here. She gives up and decides to leave. But apparently a swift exit is too much to ask for and Sana bumps into someone on her way out, her drink splashing down her arm in the process.
"Whoops, sorry," a very gentle voice says.
Sana doesn't bother to look up. "It's fine."
"...Sana?"
Sana looks up this time, surprised that there's someone here who knows her. She finds herself looking into a vaguely familiar, mole-spattered face. The girl's name escapes Sana for a moment as her mind gets caught between memories. Sana knows this person from high school, recalls working on a project with this girl before, a science project that resulted in a C+ much to Sana's delight and much to this girl's dismay. The girl in front of Sana was quite pretentious in the past, quite arrogant and stand-offish, and that project was the last time they ever spoke. Sana was a carefree cheerleader back then while this girl was an overly serious nerd... and then the name finally clicks into place.
"M-mina?" Sana responds hesitantly. She stares back at Mina in surprise even though Mina flashes her an easy grin, as though they're old friends instead of almost strangers.
"Hey, I didn't realize you were going to college here," Mina says. "Small world, huh?"
And Sana truly feels the meaning in Mina's words. Because out of all of the big-name schools that the brilliant Myoui Mina was aiming for, it turns out family circumstances led her to come to this middle-tier college that none of Mina's other friends are attending. And Sana, who was originally planning to go to the escalator college* with her friends, ended up passing the entrance exams here and decided to challenge herself for once even though none of her friends were attending this college either.
[*Note: Escalator school systems include high school and college and don't require entrance exams, so it's easier to get into college if you stay within your escalator school system]
It's a conversation that lasts all of ten minutes, a short chat that has more pleasantries than meaningful conversation and includes Mina pouring Sana a fresh drink to make up for the one she spilled down Sana's arm. But it's a nice enough chat compared to the silence that Sana's endured most of the evening. And it comes with an unexpected twist:
"So... I know this is kind of sudden," Mina says as they're about to part ways, "but was I planning to sign up for a random dorm mate since none of my friends ended up going here. Any chance you wanna be roommates with me this year? Maybe go in on an off-campus apartment together...?"
It's an unexpected proposition for sure, but it's not altogether unwelcomed. Sana thinks about how she was also planning to take a random dorm mate, more due to lack of options than anything else. Given Mina and Sana's circumstances and the fact they don't know anyone else going to this college, becoming roommates makes sense. But really, how much does Sana know about Mina? What sets Mina apart from any other stranger aside from a smattering of distant high school memories that, if accurate, actually make Sana think she DOESN'T want to be Mina's roommate?
But something seems different now that they're not confined to high school walls, now that they're out in the world and they have no cliques standing around them and influencing their actions. Instead of the spiteful gossip and closed-minded opinions whispering in Sana's ear, somehow all she can hear in her head is Mina's shy and lovely laugh, and she thinks being Mina's roommate couldn't possibly be that bad. Or maybe that was just the alcohol doing the thinking.
Whatever the reason, Sana finds herself nodding with a smile. "Sure, why the hell not?" Sana agrees, not realizing her entire world was about to change. One day Sana would look back on this moment and consider it fate that she and Mina ran into each other out of the blue and decided to become roommates. For now though, Sana simply thinks that it's a small world after all.
Sana moves into their tiny two-bedroom apartment on a day where Mina's not around. The bigger pieces of furniture like her bed and dresser have already been delivered by the moving company, so today Sana is just carrying in a few small bags on her own.
To say that Sana is excited about the move is an understatement. It's the first time Sana has lived apart from her parents and the prospect of all this freedom is THRILLING. She still has some concerns and doubts about moving in with Mina, but not even that can dampen her spirits on moving day. Wielding her new set of keys, Sana unlocks the door and cheerfully says "tadaima" (I'm home) to no one.
Mina isn't due to arrive until tomorrow afternoon. This leaves Sana with the choice of bedrooms and deciding between whether she should greedily take the bigger master bedroom or if she should play nice and give it to Mina. Sure enough, she finds that the movers have left her mattress and bed frame crammed alongside Mina's in their tiny living room. Part of her was hoping that the movers would've made the decision by throwing her furniture into one of the two bedrooms, but no such luck.
Still mulling over the choice, Sana decides to at least put her bags down and heads to the empty kitchen to unload her arms. It's there that Sana finds a blue piece of stationary on the counter covered in neat, loopy script. It sits under a small piece of dark chocolate trying to act as a paper weight. The first thing that makes Sana smile is the "okaeri" that starts Mina's note, the "welcome home" to complement Sana's earlier "tadaima". The second thing that makes Sana smile is the note very pointedly telling Sana to take the bigger bedroom as Mina expects to spend a lot of time in the school's science lab and therefore won't have time to enjoy the bigger room anyway.
Sana thinks it's uncharacteristically kind of Mina--not that she knew Mina's personality very well to begin with. It makes her question again all the things she thinks she knows about Mina from high school. Sana can vaguely remember a very pretentious Mina with overlong bangs that covered her eyes as she clung onto her equally nerdy boyfriend's arm. Girl genius, overachiever, stuck up to the extreme. But oddly enough, none of her vague memories of Mina seem to align with any of the recent interactions she's had with the girl since their whirlwind roommate plans were hatched two weeks ago...
Sana continues to read Mina's note and finds the third and final thing that makes her smile: there's a doodle of a happy penguin at the bottom of the note with a speech bubble that says, "thanks for saving me from the hell of living with a random stranger!"
It's a feeling that Sana is intimately familiar with. Grinning widely, she drags her bags to the bigger bedroom and unpacks until she finds a box of her favorite sweets. Sana takes out a pen and scribbles a note on the back of Mina's.
"Okaeri! Thanks for saving me too, roomie!" She adds a smiley face at the bottom and then leaves a piece of her favorite mint chocolate on top of the note for Mina.
They aren't friends in the slightest. They're barely even roommates at this point, but Sana finds herself looking forward to getting to know Mina a little better.
They aren't a perfect match as roommates. Mina is quiet while Sana is loud. Mina keeps her belongings neat while Sana... Sana at least makes sure Mina doesn't trip over her things. They don't even have similar hobbies, but that's OK. They still manage to carve out conversations in the spaces where their interests do overlap, and the friendship only seems to grow from there.
Music is one place where they seem to speak the same language. Sana may not understand Mina's obsession with video games and Mina has no idea why Sana's scent addiction has her sniffing everything in sight, but they at least understand that Twice music is awesome and the choreography is addictive. It's more or less how they really break the ice as roommates.
It's late on a Thursday night and Sana feels utterly restless after a long day of classes. Mina's stuck in the lab extra late tonight and Sana has the urge to just be loud. She takes advantage of Mina's absence by cranking up the music on her phone in the living room. She's in the middle of dancing along to Twice's "Knock Knock" to work out her stress, the music flowing through the apartment and pounding through her veins, when she turns around to find Mina staring at her. The younger girl has clearly just entered the apartment, her arms still loaded with her bag and a stack of books, and Sana feels extremely shy to be caught dancing to a k-pop song. She's on the verge of apologizing for making such a racket in their shared living space when Mina suddenly drops everything she's holding and jumps into the "Knock Knock" choreography without missing a beat.
It's such a rush for Sana to witness Mina hitting every cutesy move with utmost precision. Prissy model student Myoui Mina bothered to memorize k-pop dance routines. Sana's sure her jaw drops far enough that it hits the floor in surprise. But then Mina smirks at her, silently asking Sana if she's just gonna stare or if she's gonna dance, so Sana snaps back into the choreography with her own smirk, as though she's not gonna be shown up by Mina or anyone else when it comes to Twice.
"I can't believe you know all their choreography," Mina laughs incredulously four Twice songs later when they're both out of breath and they've both proven that they're die-hard Twice fans.
Sana returns the breathless laugh. "Right back at you! I didn't know you could dance like that! You're totally not the stick in the mud I thought you were."
Oops. Sana winces as she accidentally lets her incorrect impression of Mina from their high school days slip out, and rather rudely at that.
"I'm so sorry!! I didn't mean tha--"
Mina laughs heartily at the comment, surprising Sana further still with her bubbly laughter. "It's OK, Sana. I honestly don't mind. If it makes you feel any better, it was only recently that I realized you aren't an airhead like I thought you were."
The comment catches Sana off guard and it stings just a touch, but Sana knows she deserves it. They both smile wryly but sincerely at each other, completely exhausted and mutually agreeing to fully let go of their high school impressions of each other. From then on, these mini Twice dance parties become a regular thing for them, a roommate activity that Sana finds herself genuinely looking forward to doing with Mina.
It's amazing how a little more time spent together makes a world of difference in their relationship as roommates and friends. Mina's late night lab class disappears after the first half of the semester and they fall into the habit of eating dinner together whenever they're both home at the same time, which is often these days. Sana finds Mina to be a little guarded with revealing personal details about herself at first, which in turn makes it a little hard for Sana to open her heart up to Mina. It also doesn't help that Mina's rather intense as a person. There's something about Mina's focused gaze and naturally quiet persona that makes her feel intimidating.
But Sana slowly learns that behind Mina's seemingly icy exterior is a shy person who adores dogs, loves Legos, and is obsessed with first person shooters. Mina's also infinitely kind and full of consideration, something Sana never would've guessed prior to them becoming roommates.
Sana first discovers the depth of Mina's warmth on a particularly bad night where Sana somehow managed to forget to turn in a homework assignment in one class, flunked a quiz in another, and made a fool of herself while answering a lecture question earlier in the day. She's visibly upset when Mina returns to the apartment later that evening, and Mina is quick to come over and ask Sana what's wrong.
"It's nothing," Sana lies, her thoughts still clouded and fixated on the mistakes she's been making all day. It's hard for Sana to let go of her self-doubts when the mistakes pile up, but she doesn't want to burden Mina with her negative attitude. So she smiles and pretends everything is OK before excusing herself for a long bath.
"Let's order something delicious for dinner when you're done," Mina suggests kindly, and Sana manages a real smile this time knowing that Mina is trying to cheer her up. "Just enjoy your bath, OK?" The older girl nods and heads to the bathroom.
It's no secret that Sana loves baths. A long, hot soak in the tub can work wonders on her mood, so she settles in for an hour-long bath that has her feeling mostly better when she's done. But it turns out that there are things in life much more capable at cheering Sana up than a good bath, things like finding that your roommate has ordered three of your absolute favorite entrees from three different restaurants and is carefully plating up dinner for you when you get out of said bath.
"Dinner is served, ojou-sama," Mina jokingly announces with a flourish of her hand once Sana enters the kitchen.
Sana stares back at Mina, a little more than surprised by the gesture. Normally they each just order their own meal and eat together. They've never really surprise-ordered for each other before, and never as extravagantly as this. "I thought you were going to wait until I was done to order? You didn't have to do this for me--and you don't even LIKE malatang!" Sana exclaims, noticing exactly what Mina's ordered for them for dinner.
"But you do," Mina says simply with a smile.
The gesture is heart-warming. It's touching and kind and a million other happy emotions that make Sana instantly forget her bad day. She and Mina don't really do hugs--not yet, anyway--but she can't help but cross the room and throw her arms around Mina's neck in a grateful hug. "Thank you. You're the sweetest person ever for ordering all of my favorite foods like this," Sana says sincerely. She reaches for her phone and opens the app they use to pay each other back when they share orders at the same takeout place. "What do I owe you?"
"Nothing," Mina replies easily. "You looked like you needed to be cheered up tonight and I just wanted to make you smile."
"But--" Sana begins. She feels bad having Mina go to the trouble of paying for her when they're both college students who definitely aren't made out of money.
"But nothing. Let me take care of you for once."
Mina's words, along with her soft smile, send a happy shiver down Sana's spine. They aren't huggers, but Mina wraps her arms around Sana's shoulders anyway, adding another layer of warmth on top of the feelings already welling up deep in Sana's chest. It's this precise moment that allows Sana to see exactly how kind Mina really is. She burrows into Mina's warm hug for a few moments longer, feeling very comforted and safe.
From then on it becomes effortless for Sana to open her heart up to Mina, just as easy and effortless as it is for Sana to start to fall in love with her.
It's the little things Mina does that creep up on Sana's heart slowly. It's the attentiveness, the consideration, the outright chivalry in Mina's actions. Just the other night, when they went on a late-night snack run together, Sana tripped and nearly fell over in the darkness on their way back from the corner convenience store. Mina immediately took the bag that Sana was holding and then intertwined her free hand into Sana's, leading the older girl along gently until they reached their apartment without another mishap. Sana had blushed something fierce the whole way back, her hand safely encompassed by Mina's, not yet realizing that there was another emotion fueling her feverish blush than merely being embarrassed at having tripped.
Sana also occasionally finds herself coming home to surprise gifts from her roommate lately. It's never anything too extravagant--a scented candle or a bottle of her favorite shampoo in a new fragrance--but it surprises her that Mina always remembers and buys any items Sana ever mentions in passing.
"I just wanted to see you smile," Mina says whenever she hands Sana a present, perhaps not realizing the subtle effect that each gift was having on Sana's ever-growing heart. And Sana, not to be outdone by Mina's kindness, also goes out of her way to buy little presents that Mina would like. It becomes a gift battle of sorts and Sana enjoys the fight immensely. She doesn't really know what it means, but it just makes her heart swell in an odd but really good way whenever Mina's eyes crinkle with delight and her face lights up with a beautiful, gummy smile.
It's not until almost the end of their first semester as roommates that Sana finally figures it out. Sana's been studying really hard these days and stays up late in the living room to prepare for next week's finals. She's accidentally fallen asleep on the sofa a few times during these grueling study sessions, each time waking up under a warm blanket that could only have been draped over her by Mina. But then one night, unexpectedly, Sana wakes up on the sofa with her head resting on something warm and soft. It takes Sana a few moments to realize where she is--that her cheek is literally resting on Mina's bare thigh and that Mina is stroking her hair gently. Sana almost has a heart attack then and there from how high her heart rate suddenly skyrockets.
"W-what's going on?" Sana asks, lifting her head quickly from the warm lap pillow beneath her cheek. She goes from groggy to fully alert in the span of three seconds.
Mina, on the other hand, is calm and collected when she looks up from her book. "Nothing," Mina replies casually, as though having Sana sleeping on her lap was an everyday occurrence. "You just looked so peaceful that I didn't wanna wake you."
She coaxes Sana to lie back down on her lap for a few moments longer and resumes stroking Sana's hair. But Sana can't relax. Her cheeks feel hot. Her palms are sweaty. Her heart is fluttering--wait, fluttering?
Sana pauses.
And then the realization comes crashing down on her.
"Sana? Are you OK?" Mina asks gently.
Sana swallows and tries to keep her voice steady even though her heart is anything but. "Y-yeah," Sana says. "I'm OK."
But she isn't OK. Not really. Sana has a big fat crush on her roommate and she knows that she's in trouble.
Sana finds it impossible to think about anything else but her inappropriate crush on her likely straight roommate now that her brain has realized what that swooping feeling in her stomach is every time Mina walks into the room. It's distracting because Sana second guesses every one of her own actions and thoughts now, like whether or not it's OK to hold Mina's hand like they usually do when they go shopping, or whether she's staring at Mina too much lately when the younger girl isn't looking.
Sana acknowledges that Mina is SMOKING hot. This was true long before Sana developed this goddamn crush, back when Mina was just her roommate and they barely knew a thing about each other except for their high school misconceptions of each other. It was just easier to ignore Mina's mesmerizing beauty when Sana was oblivious to her feelings. But now? Sana literally can't even look Mina in the eye lately without her cheeks turning red.
"What's the problem here?" Chaeyoung wonders. She mixes a spoonful of sugar into her coffee mug and takes a sip. "Sounds like your roommate obviously likes you, too."
Sana slams her hands down on the table just a little too hard. The slapping sound echoes in the cafe and everyone turns their head to look, but Sana ignores them and focuses on her friend Chaeyoung and the key point of her turmoil. "That's impossible! Did you miss the part where Mina had a boyfriend in high school?"
"So what?" Chaeyoung responds nonchalantly. "She's not still dating him, right?"
"They broke up a while ago. But still. She's probably straight and you're just reading too much into everything she's doing," Sana replies with a sigh.
Chaeyoung rolls her eyes. "Or she's bi and you're dense and your really hot roommate is hitting on you in really obvious ways."
Sana can't help but whine pitifully in response. She honestly feels like she's having an existential crisis over her crush on Mina, and now Chaeyoung is telling her that Mina's flirting with her, too? It's more than Sana's heart can take at the moment. With a pleading expression on her face, Sana turns to their friend Dahyun for comfort. "Dahyunnie... Tell her to stop teasing me!"
"Leave her alone, Chaeyoung-ah," Dahyun chastises the youngest of the three gently. "What are you gonna do if Mina ends up being straight and you break Sana's heart just because you pushed her too hard?"
Chaeyoung instantly looks remorseful. "OK, my bad," she relents sincerely.
Dahyun smiles and turns her attention back to Sana. She pats the older girl gently on the head, ushering Sana to her in a hug. "But honestly, Sana? You should consider talking to Mina about your feelings one day... Maybe at least ask her what her sexuality is? I just have a feeling that Chaeyoung might be right about the flirting..."
Sana just shakes her head and sighs, wondering if she's really being oblivious about Mina's actions or if her friends are just overly enthusiastic.
It's not that Sana doesn't want to ask. She's honestly burning with curiosity about Mina's sexuality, but she also doesn't want to risk what they have over a simple misunderstanding. And really, Sana could just be misinterpreting this whole situation because all the things Mina does for her is just stuff that one good roommate would do for another. All roommates treat each other to food and buy each other gifts, didn't they? All roommates held hands and hugged and occasionally slept with their heads on each other's laps... didn't they...?
The lock on the door clicks open in that moment and Mina bursts into their apartment like a happy whirlwind. "Honey, I'm home!"
Sana can't help but spit out her drink in surprise. Did Mina just call her, honey??
"W-welcome home," Sana sputters between coughs, trying to pretend like Mina's entrance didn't almost just kill her. If Mina finds her behavior weird, Sana wouldn't know because Mina's only response is to grab a napkin from the stack on the table to wipe the spittle of soda dribbling down Sana's lips.
"You OK?" Mina wonders with a hint of amusement in her concerned brown eyes.
"Just a little surprised," Sana replies with a squeak. "Since when do you call me 'honey'!?"
"Hm... since now," Mina answers after only a moment of contemplation. She stares into Sana's wide eyes, mesmerizing Sana with that edge of intensity that accompanies everything Mina seems to do. "Is it OK if I call you, 'honey'?"
Sana gulps and tries to laugh off the shock. "Yeah, go for it. I was just surprised is all," Sana mumbles. She takes the napkin from Mina and starts wiping up the table hastily, trying not to meet Mina's eyes. Sana feels like any more of Mina's intense gaze would have her leaning in for a kiss or running to the bathroom for a cold shower.
Mina gently tousles Sana's hair, a heavy dose of affection woven through that simple touch. "It's no big deal, Sana. I call all my friends 'honey,'" Mina tells her, and the older girl lifts her gaze just in time to catch Mina's incredibly soft smile before she heads toward the kitchen with the groceries.
Sana's heart is literally on cloud nine as Mina walks away. But as much as she's squealing internally at the thought of Mina giving her such an adorably sweet pet name, Sana can't help but happily call Mina a liar--she's hung out with Mina's friends before and Sana's sure her jealous heart would've remembered if Mina ever called anyone else "honey".
When Sana comes home from her part time job one day, she finds that Mina has company in the form of a tiny child less than a third their size.
"I'm Myoui Tzuyu and I'm four years old," the toddler greets Sana cheerfully the moment Sana walks into the room.
"Oh," Sana blinks, momentarily taken aback by the adorable little girl and the equally adorable greeting. She quickly spots Mina smiling at her from the sofa and relaxes. This must be the niece that Mina mentioned she'd be babysitting today. Sana squats down so that she's eye to eye with their small visitor. "Nice to meet you, Tzuyu. I'm Sana, your auntie's roommate."
"Roommate? What's that?" Tzuyu asks curiously.
Mina walks over to them and gives Sana a warm back hug as she tries to introduce Sana in a way that's easier for a four-year-old to understand. "She's Auntie Mina's special friend."
Sana tries not to choke as she attempts to process Mina's introduction. Special friend?! Tzuyu seems to accept Mina's choice of words while Sana's brain incurs a triple meltdown. It's funny how the explanation meant for a four-year-old was infinitely too complicated for a nineteen-year-old to understand.
Glancing over her shoulder, Sana can see a mischievous smirk on Mina's lips. It's a crazy-beautiful little half smile thing that makes Sana's heart want to leap out of her chest. Sana thinks she might die of happiness right there in Mina's arms with a four year old child watching them curiously, and somehow Sana feels perfectly OK with that.
Chaeyoung: She's in love with you, you useless lesbian.
That's the only reply Sana gets from her group chat with Chaeyoung and Dahyun after she writes a detailed, two thousand word message to them explaining the recent "honey" and "special friend" situations, along with a list of reasons why she still thinks Mina is definitely not flirting with her.
Sana thinks Chaeyoung's message is unfair.
Chaeyoung thinks her message is accurate.
Dahyun stays cautiously neutral until she hears about the drunken almost-kiss situation, at which point Dahyun completely sets up permanent residence in Chaeyoung's camp.
Dahyun: Dude, Mina's a maple tree just waiting for you to tap her. Be sure to make pancakes afterwards.
Chaeyoung and Dahyun find themselves blocked after that.
The drunken almost-kiss situation is exactly as it sounds. It's late on a Friday night and Mina and Sana both really need to let off some steam after a stressful week of school. They have plans to meet their friends at a party that evening, but somehow they decide at the last minute that they're too tired to actually leave the apartment. The result is a private party for two in their living room. There's music, there's alcohol, there's flirty dancing that goes just a little too far and finds hands in places that they normally wouldn't be found when sober.
It's fun and it's easy to let loose with Mina. The alcohol in Sana's system dulls the edge on her worries just enough that she can let herself enjoy the moment. Her hands are on Mina's hips. Mina's shirt is thin and flowy and Sana's hands slip up and down the bare skin of her back. Mina's hand is on Sana's shoulder as they dance together, wild and free. And then Mina pulls her closer. Her hand trails up Sana's neck, carding through Sana's hair...
Mina's lips are soft and glistening. The jasmine perfume Mina wears is intoxicating. The music is electrifying and so is Mina's touch, so is the expression in Mina's eyes.
"It looks like you want to kiss me," Mina smirks, whispering the words even though there's no one around who would listen in. And oh God is Mina right. Sana would love nothing more than to pull Mina close and drown herself in Mina's kiss. And for a fleeting moment, Sana really thinks that Mina wants to kiss her, too. But Mina's so wasted right now and Sana can't say that she isn't drunk herself.
"I won't mind," Mina murmurs, as though trying to entice Sana further. But Sana finds that she does mind because Sana doesn't want to take advantage of Mina, nor does she want their first kiss to be a drunken mistake that could be laughed off in the morning. It makes her heart ache in more ways than one when she gently pushes Mina away with a fake smile, realizing that she's fallen in love with Mina with her whole heart. It's too late for Sana to stop herself even if she wanted to.
But Sana doesn't want to stop falling for Mina, is the thing. She just hopes that Mina has fallen for her too...
By morning Mina seems to have forgotten last night, but Sana definitely hasn't. She just can't bring herself to ask if Mina still wants that kiss while they're sober.
Sana's unspoken feelings for Mina start to take a toll on her health. It doesn't go unnoticed by her friends, who sense the serious drop in her mood. Dahyun and Chaeyoung are dining with Sana one night when Sana simply slumps over and places her forehead on the table. The two younger girls look at each other grimly, not even needing to ask Sana to know that she has Mina on her mind.
"Sana-ya..." Dahyun murmurs. She places a comforting hand on Sana's back. "You should talk to Mina and find out one way or another. Chaeng and I are worried about you."
"What are you worried about?" Sana mumbles. "I'm in love with my probably straight roommate who definitely doesn't love me back. I'm perfectly fine."
Dahyun and Chaeyoung exchange a concerned glance, but they say nothing here because there's nothing to be said. What seems so obvious to an outsider--the fact that Mina is blatantly flirting with Sana these days--is somehow impossible for Sana to comprehend regardless of how much they try to convince her. And so they don't even try. They just sit with her and try to be reassuring and hope that Sana finds the courage to talk it out with Mina one day.
"Did you know that we spent all 3 days of Chuseok just messaging and telling each other how much we miss each other?" Sana reveals. The alcohol is getting to her and she doesn't even know what she's saying anymore. "Mina told me I smelled good and she missed the way I smell. Can you believe that? And whenever we make plans these days, no matter how little, she's always so happy and always says, 'It's a date!'
And lately... Lately I catch her staring at me all the time. Hard and intense... Like she wants to kiss me... Like she wants me as much as I want her..." Sana sighs deeply, wondering why being in love with Mina was so hard for her. "I want her to like me back so much. God, I wish she would fall in love with me, too..."
Sana catches a fever that night. It's not serious enough to send her to the hospital, but it's serious enough that Mina makes a big deal about it when Dahyun and Chaeyoung drop her off at the apartment.
"Honey, you can't go out drinking if you're sick," Mina scolds Sana gently, not a trace of anger in her words. She helps Sana into her pajamas and tucks her into bed.
"Didn't know I'd get sick," Sana mumbles back. She whimpers pitifully against the heat in her body and the pain in her head. The fever makes her thoughts swim with a touch of delirium. "You should get out of here," she tells Mina groggily. "You're gonna get sick, too."
"I think I'll take my chances," Mina replies with a soft laugh. She fetches medicine, a bowl of cold water, and a wash cloth to cool down Sana's forehead. And despite Sana's best and feeble efforts to convince Mina that she'll be fine, Mina climbs into Sana's bed so that she can keep a better eye on Sana through the night.
Sana calls Mina her "nurse angel"... Mina simply glows at the compliment. Part of Sana's brain is lucid enough to know that she's dangerously close to spilling all her secrets to Mina. The other part is too addled by fever to really care. And when Mina wraps an arm around Sana's body comfortingly, Sana finds that Mina's cool touch is irresistible and she snuggles right in.
"You're too good to me, you know that, right?" Sana murmurs into Mina's shoulder.
"And that would be the fever talking," Mina replies with a laugh. She runs the back of her hand over Sana's cheek. "Poor baby, you're still burning up."
"It's not the fever. It's because you're here," Sana jokes, hardly knowing what she's saying. Her eyes flutter shut with fatigue. "...I never imagined we would get this close back when we were in high school..."
Mina smiles and murmurs in agreement. Her hand finds Sana's in the darkness, their fingers falling easily into the familiar clasp of their hands. It's a warm and comforting feeling for Sana to latch on to as she struggles with her feverish aches.
"It's funny how things change," Mina agrees. "And now you're one of the closest people in my life. You're really important to me, honey. I... I can't imagine my life without you anymore."
There's a depth and a poignancy in the way Mina says this. It's the perfect moment for Sana to ask Mina what they are to each other--perhaps even the perfect moment for Sana to confess--but the fever is messing with her head too much for Sana to think about romance right now. So Sana just feebly reciprocates that Mina means a lot to her, too.
The rest of the night is a fever-riddled blur after that. Sana manages to fall asleep in Mina's arms and somehow feels completely better in the morning. When she wakes up, she finds an already-awake Mina staring at her serenely. Mina's intense gaze makes Sana feel like she's a princess who just walked out of a fairytale even though she feels more like a swamp creature who just crawled out of a pond right now.
"How can you be so beautiful when you literally just woke up?" Mina wonders, casting Sana the sweetest of sleepy, morning smiles.
It takes all of Sana's will power not to kiss Mina right then and there.
It's a few days before Christmas and Sana goes all out on spoiling Mina. She's wanted to do this for a while now but A) she's been broke and B) there's been no real opportunity to spoil the younger girl. Mina's birthday came and went just days into their journey as roommates, back when that barely knew each other. And on top of that, Sana's been too self-conscious about her feelings to make any grand gestures. But her attitude towards being in love with Mina has changed recently now that Sana feels the end of the second semester drawing near. Her time with Mina isn't infinite--their apartment lease was only for a year--and Sana is quite certain that she'll always regret it if she loses Mina as a roommate and a friend just because she was too much of a coward to confess.
So Sana decides to go all out: she surprises Mina with a lot of presents and buys her a Christmas cake. They even go out for a fancy meal at Mina's favorite restaurant. And Mina also seems to go the extra mile for Christmas because Sana finds herself spoiled with presents, too. But the best gift of all from Mina ends up being just a really big hug.
"You make me really happy, Sana. I hope you know that," Mina tells her. They're entangled on the sofa in the hug, and at this point Mina's just one step away from basically sitting in Sana's lap. They're happy, they're cozy, and Sana's heart is trying to leap out of her chest at the sheer joy of it all. Being this close to Mina is overwhelmingly addictive and Sana greedily wants more.
"You're beautiful," Sana finds herself saying even though she hadn't meant to say it. The proximity to Mina is intoxicating, almost akin to being drunk.
Mina smiles with delight. "Am I?"
Sana nods, suddenly feeling bold and wild with Mina looking so eager in her arms. "And you're so smart and so funny. And you smell really nice, too."
The younger girl leans in closer and closer to Sana with each compliment, a brilliant and expectant smile edging wider on her glistening lips. "You really think so?" Mina asks, to which Sana nods enthusiastically. Mina cards her fingers through Sana's hair affectionately, like she did on the night of their drunken almost kiss. Except neither of them is drunk this time. The younger girl brings her other hand up to trace the curve of Sana's cheek.
"You're so sweet with your words tonight," Mina muses. "Is there anything else you want to confess to me?"
Sana swallows and feels hypnotized by Mina's intense gaze. She senses that Mina is trying to guide her to an answer that Sana very much wants to be led to, and so--with very little distance remaining between them--Sana decides to let go and embrace the overwhelming feelings in her heart with every fiber of her being.
"I wanted to tell you that... I really want to kiss you."
If wishes came true, then Sana feels like she uses up a lifetime of wishes for what comes next. Mina's soft hand, which is already cupping her cheek, pulls Sana in even closer. The already negligible distance between them is extinguished entirely when Mina pushes into Sana for a slow and messy first kiss. It simmers with all the heat that's been building up between them for the past year, soft yet urgent and brimming with so much longing that Sana's brain wants to melt from how good it feels to finally experience Mina's kiss. She just sinks deeper and deeper into Mina's soft lips, deeper and deeper into Mina's warm embrace.
It's the need for air that finally drives them apart, breathless and giggly. Sana can only stare at Mina in awed disbelief while Mina just giggles and grins.
"It's good that you wanted to kiss me, because I really wanted to kiss you too," Mina murmurs playfully.
Sana's smile is bashful even though her lips are still wet with Mina's kiss. "Oh... R-really?"
Mina laughs. "Yes, really. Did you expect any other response?"
Sana's cheeks turn red as the uncertainty starts to return. "Er... maybe? I mean... I don't know. Are you... Are you even into girls?"
Mina laughs again, a little surprised by Sana's question. "Yes I am. I thought you knew that. I was already out in high school as bi."
Sana feels sheepish and infinitely regretful for not having known Mina better in high school. She buries her head into Mina's shoulder in embarrassment.
"God you're adorable," Mina can't help but tease. "Sana, I like you. As in LIKE YOU. I've been flirting with you this whole time... Didn't you realize it?" Mina laughs yet again when Sana shakes her head with another sheepish "no".
"Jeez, you just missed all my signs, didn't you?" Mina murmurs, stroking Sana's cheek affectionately. "Then let's take things slowly, just to make sure you don't miss anything else. You and me, one step at a time, OK? We're in no hurry, right?"
"Right," Sana agrees with an embarrassed but ecstatic smile. Slow would definitely be good because Sana's heart feels overwhelmed in a wonderful way and she's not sure how much more happiness she can take all at once. She leans in again for another kiss, and then realizes that she hasn't properly responded to Mina's confession. "And Mina? I like you, too."
Mina's eyes shimmer as she kisses Sana again, softly and sweetly. "Honey," she says with a brilliant and teasing smile, "I already knew."
A few hours later, Sana realizes that taking things slowly with Mina will surely drive her insane. Much of that has to do with the fact that Mina knocked on Sana's door after they had both turned in for the night and ever so hesitantly--and cutely--asked to sleep in Sana's bed. And honestly, how could Sana refuse her new girlfriend when the request was made so innocently, delivered with a sheepishly hopeful expression that was sure to be crushed if Sana had refused.
(But of course, Sana hadn't refused.)
Cue the current predicament: Sana trying to calm her heart enough to fall asleep with Mina curled up into her side like a kitten. Her girlfriend's presence is warm and soft and utterly comforting, and yet...
"Am I making you nervous?" Mina wonders, breaking the intense silence.
Sana lets out her breath with a small laugh. "Is it that obvious?"
"Yes," the younger girl giggles. "You're super tense and I can hear your heart racing a mile a minute. Do you want me to leave?"
Sana quickly shakes her head. "No, don't go. It's just..." A million thoughts swirl through her head. And where the pre-relationship Sana would've made up a lame lie to mask her feelings for Mina, this post-relationship Sana decides to be honest. "I wanna kiss you," she admits sheepishly, feeling further sheepish when Mina's bright laugh cuts through the darkness.
"Then kiss me, you idiot."
"...and I wanna cuddle with you..."
"Then cuddle with me. That's what I came here for!" Mina lifts her head and brings it to a rest over Sana's pounding heart. Her words to Sana are as patient as the action is gentle. "I know you're nervous and anxious and you don't know what lines you can and can't cross now that we're dating, but going slow doesn't mean starting at level 1. We KNOW each other, Sana. You and me, we've gotta be at least level 37 right now."
Sana feels Mina's fingers intertwine comfortably into hers, radiating warmth and reassurance into Sana's troubled heart.
"Oh," Sana responds thoughtfully, instantly calmer as she tries to decipher the meaning behind Mina's declaration. "...does level 37 mean I can ask you to spoon me to sleep?"
Mina's loud burst of affectionate giggles wash away any trace of fear and anxiety still lingering in Sana's chest. She buries her head into Sana's shoulder and brings their bodies close. Minutes later, completely relaxed, Sana finds herself drifting off to sleep in Mina's warm and reassuring embrace.
It's easy for Mina and Sana to transition from roommates to girlfriends. Just like Mina said, Sana also feels like they aren't starting at level 1 as girlfriends. She doesn't quite know if level 37 is an appropriate designation for them, but her comfort level with Mina is definitely up there. The friendship they built up over the past year makes it easy for them to blend their lives together past the boundaries of roommates.
They sleep together in Sana's bed now and the master bedroom becomes theirs. The closet becomes a mashup of both their wardrobes and their makeup table follows suit. They get ready together in the mornings and share the mirror as they change. Sana helps Mina to pick out a pretty sundress and buttons up the back for her. Mina picks out a necklace for Sana that matches her blouse and then helps Sana put it on.
Once they're ready to leave the bedroom to start their day, Mina clings to Sana's arm for just a moment as they check their reflections in the mirror. Sana marvels at the way it just suits them, being on each other's arms.
They look good together.
"Darling, you're stunning," Sana tells Mina, and she loves the way her girlfriend blushes without looking away.
"You look beautiful too, honey."
Sana smiles back at Mina's beaming reflection. Honey and darling. Darling and honey. Yeah, Sana could get used to this.
Sana stares at Mina more than she really should. But honestly, who could blame her? It would be a crime to date a person as beautiful as Myoui Mina and to not stop and get lost in Mina's beauty every once in a while. Sana knows her girlfriend doesn't mind the staring, knows that Mina will blush without fail when she catches Sana looking at her, but Sana also knows that Mina loves being the focus of Sana's attention.
"Do you like what you see?" Mina asks Sana often, and the answer to this question is always, "yes."
Sana has long since memorized the contours of Mina's body. She knows every constellation embedded in Mina's skin, knows every hotspot on Mina's body that makes her girlfriend shiver and squirm, knows exactly how to make Mina's world explode in a fiery mess with Sana's name clinging to the volcanic aria that bursts forth from Mina's lips. She's mapped the entire expanse of Mina's existence and Sana still can't get enough of Mina's touch, of Mina's taste.
The world is big and the universe is even bigger, but it's nothing compared to the amount of adoration that Sana has for Myoui Mina.
They're sappy with each other and Sana loves it. She wouldn't have it any other way. She comes home from school one day and literally sings her usual "darling, I'm home~!" greeting when she walks in the door, not realizing that Dahyun and Chaeyoung have stopped by for a visit. They both just stare at Sana with a matching pair of cringes that reflect their disdain at Sana's cheesy behavior, but Sana ignores her friends and instead focuses on the glowing smile on Mina's face.
"Welcome home, honey~!" Mina sings, returning the cheerful greeting in full. Dahyun and Chaeyoung just groan.
"Ugh, you're just as bad as Sana!" They complain, but the happy couple just laughs. Mina and Sana send their guests running for cover as they lean in for a quick kiss.
Sana doesn't mind the teasing and the jokes from Dahyun and Chaeyoung in the slightest. Sana knows that her friends couldn't be happier for her that everything worked out with Mina in the end. And as much as the duo groan and complain that Sana is gross when it comes to public displays of affection with Mina, Sana knows that they wouldn't have it any other way.
It's not always perfect. There are days where Mina and Sana bicker and fight and forget to be considerate. There are days where they lose their patience and exchange words that they regret and hurt each other's feelings and cry.
But at the end of the day they forgive. They apologize and let go of their bad emotions and they remember the things they adore about each other that make their relationship worth it.
They still go on dates by moonlight, leave little notes for each other on the counter, surprise each other with gifts. They dance in the living room until the sun comes up and they remember to hug and kiss and find laughter in everything they do.
They make promises to do better for each other next time, and that alone is more than enough to ensure their world keeps spinning.
Whenever Sana has the luxury of lying in Mina's arms without a care in the world, whenever Mina is curled up on her chest and nestled in her embrace, Sana thinks that it was fate that she and Mina ran into each other at college and became roommates on a whim. It's been almost a year since that college orientation mixer, almost the end of their freshman year. Their apartment lease will expire soon and they can go their separate ways next year as far as housing is concerned if they wanted to, but Sana doesn't want that in the slightest.
"Hey," Sana murmurs. She pulls Mina closer to her and burrows her face into the crook of Mina's neck, breathing in the familiar scents of jasmine and happiness and comfort. "Let's be roommates again next year. Will you sign the lease renewal with me?"
"Of course," Mina replies instantly. She runs her fingers through Sana's hair gently, letting her adoration for Sana flow freely. "Isn't that a given?"
"Hm..." Sana hums. She thinks through her next words carefully before she answers. "It is, but then it isn't. I mean, I definitely know I want to live with you next year and I was hoping you'd feel the same, but I didn't want to assume you knew how I felt without saying it out loud."
It's Mina's turn to hum thoughtfully as she lets the significance of Sana's words wash over her, Mina's fingers still playing affectionately with Sana's hair all the while. The actions are calming and soothing and nearly put Sana to sleep. She's so relaxed lying in Mina's arms that she nearly misses Mina's next words.
"Honey..." Mina whispers. "I love you."
It takes Sana's brain a few moments to realize what Mina's just said. And when Sana's brain finally catches up, her breath catches in her chest. It's the first time either of them has said "I love you" to one another, and somehow Sana's been both excited for and scared of this moment, and somehow suddenly everything feels right.
The world is big, Sana realizes. Sana can see the entire world every time she looks into Mina's eyes. The world is infinite, bright and brimming with possibilities. The world is big, but it's also small. When she reaches out to cradle Mina's delicate cheeks in her palms, Sana realizes that she can fit her entire world in her hands.
"One day I'm gonna unlock all the secrets of the world," Sana thinks as she gazes fondly down at Mina, her hands trembling with as much emotion as her humbled heart is currently feeling. She leans down and kisses Mina gently, feels the whoosh of her heart as Mina kisses her back. It only helps to reaffirm Sana's belief that this relationship they've built together slowly over the past year is really something special.
Sana pulls back slowly and simply gazes at her world in awe, Mina's unacknowledged confession hanging in the air like a shooting star waiting to be wished upon. They press their foreheads together, they rub their noses against each other, and Mina gives a shy but giggly laugh that sends Sana's heart to the moon.
Sana has kept her waiting long enough.
"Darling..." Sana whispers tenderly to the girl who owns her heart. "I love you, too."