Chapter Text
Percy stood in front of the River Lethe, watching the dark waters churn silently. One quick dip and he would forget everything. He would forget all those painful memories of Tartarus, of not being able to save his friends. He turned around to give Mrs. O'Leary a hug. The hellhound was tired after bringing him here.
"Thank you," he murmured, rubbing her head. "You're a good girl, Mrs. O'Leary."
The hellhound whined softly as she licked Percy's face. The sea prince was going to miss her. He was going to miss a lot of things. His mom, his friends, Camp Half-Blood and... Nico. Percy's heart clenched as he thought of the Italian. He loves Nico, he really does, but he was afraid. After going to Tartarus with Annabeth, their relationship wasn't the same. A rocky month after the war with Gaea and they decided to break up. It wasn't that they didn't love each other; it was more on that it hurt them too much to be near the other. They would look at each other but see the monsters they've killed. They would hold hands but feel the grit from their swords as they trudged past Tartarus. They let each other down in there.
Nico had been the one to go to Percy after the break up. He had been the one constantly supporting the son of Poseidon. At first it was just spending a few moments together, then they were sparring and eating lunch together until they were comfortable enough to hang out in each other's cabin. During the first night Nico stayed at Percy's cabin, he had woken up Nico because he started screaming in his sleep. What happened in Tartarus haunted him even in his dreams. Nico held him close and murmured words of comfort while stroking his hair until he had fallen asleep again. It was the first time in a long time that he felt completely safe in someone else's arms. From then on, Percy kept seeking Nico's company until he found himself falling for the ghost king. And when he finally had the guts to confess to Nico, he was surprised to find out that the younger demigod had returned his feelings for him. For the first few month of their relationship, Percy was happy. Then the doubt and fear started to seep in.
Percy was afraid of letting Nico down the way he thought he let Annabeth down. He was afraid of disappointing him. Nico was so much stronger than him. The ghost king managed to navigate through Tartarus all by himself. And even before that, Nico had managed to survive outside of camp by himself with out the help from any one, not even his father. Percy smiled bitterly to himself. Nico was so much more of a hero than he was. Nico deserved to be with someone better.
Taking a step back from Mrs. O'Leary, Percy took a few steps forward until his feet were in the water. The last thing he saw before jumping all the way in was a pair of eyes watching him before he got knocked out by the current.
---
The hardest part was telling Sally that Percy was gone. The grief in Sally's eyes made Nico feel horrible. He would have felt better if Sally or even Paul yelled at him. Instead, the couple told him it wasn’t his fault. Sally was in tears when she begged Nico promise to find her baby. Nico nodded and swore that he would find Percy, no matter how long it took. He would find Percy at all costs; even it would kill him. He left the Blofis house, still feeling numb. He had searched the entire riverbanks of Lethe for Percy but it was in vain. Chiron had even gone up to Olympus to ask for help but the gods refused. They cannot intervene, not even for the hero of Olympus. Nico tried to talk to Poseidon, he but to no avail. The one time he had managed to see him, the sea god looked at him with such disdainful eyes.
“Even if I knew where he was, why would I help the one who couldn’t even save my son? He would be better off without you.” Poseidon had told him, before leaving. Nico stood there in stunned silence. He could have save Percy, couldn’t he? If he had gotten there sooner, if he had read the letter faster, if it wasn’t for his damn dyslexia. His Percy would still be here. He broke down crying and barely registered that Hazel pulled him to a hug, gently rubbing his back.
“It’s not your fault, Nico.” She whispered softly.
“Lord Poseidon thinks it is.” He said, trembling.
“You know he only said that because he’s upset. Percy is his only demigod son. And the loss he suffered is great.”
“It happened because I wasn’t there for him. Like how I wasn't there for Bianca.”
“Nico, don't start doing this!”
“Doing what?”
“Blaming yourself! It isn’t you’re fault!”
“But—“
“No buts Nico! Now isn’t the time to be moping! Percy is somewhere out there! We can’t just give up because the gods won’t help us!”
Gold eyes met with dark ones and Nico nodded reluctantly.
“I promise Sally I’d bring Percy back no matter what.” He said, standing up. “I will bring Percy back.”
“And we’ll be here to help you.” Hazel smiled as she walked with her brother.
---
After a month, Nico was starting to get desperate. The only thing that kept him going was that he knew Percy was still alive. The younger demigod took a deep breath. Percy's spirit was nowhere in the underworld. So he had to be alive. Demigods from Camp Half-Blood searched for all over America and there were even some volunteers from Camp Jupiter. Even Grover had told the nymphs and satyrs to keep an eye out for him. Nico was grateful for all the help and support his friends and fellow campers had given him but they only had so much time left.
When three month had passed, Chiron had given the order to stop the search for the sea prince. Nico had stormed to the Big House, interrupting Chiron as he talked to some newbie campers.
“Why?!” Nico demanded, as he looked Chiron in the eyes. Chiron motioned for Nico to go inside but the son of Hades refused to move. Chiron sighed as he told the campers to leave for now.
“Nico..”
“He is somewhere out there! Why stop now??”
“Nico, we don't know where out there he is. Some campers are starting to think that this is a wild goose chase.”
“We have to bring him back.”
“And then what will happen? Percy will be without memory.”
“But he’ll get them back!” Nico argued. “I got parts of my memory back! Percy is stronger than me, I’m sure he’ll remember!”
Chiron remained still for a while. “But.. What if Percy doesn't want to remember?” He quietly asked.
Brown eyes observed the young demigod in front of him. He could see the hurt in his eyes. Nico hadn’t considered that possibility. Not at all. Chiron silently left. The boy needed his space now more than ever.