Chapter Text
Felicity was hunched over Oliver's work table examining an arrow under a magnifying glass. She was doing her best not to dwell on the fact that the arrow was recently removed from Sara or that her friend's body was laying on their med table less than ten feet away. She was becoming increasingly frustrated as she could find nothing on the arrow that would help them track down Sara's murderer. Felicity had hoped she'd be able to give Oliver and the others something to go on when they returned.
Oliver, John and Roy were currently disinterring the empty casket from the grave that had been created seven years prior when Sara was presumed dead at sea. Laurel had gone to see her father who was staying in the hospital overnight for observation. Team Arrow plus Laurel had made the decision to hide Sara's death from her parents and the League, at least until they figured out who ended her life. Laurel feared that her dad's heart couldn't take losing his youngest daughter again, not after he'd just gotten her back. Oliver was concerned for Captain Lance's health too, but his reasoning was more logistical. He didn't want Nyssa and the League of Assassins descending on Starling City and wreaking havoc as they looked to avenge Sara's death. Once they determined who was responsible, then they'd let Nyssa know. Laurel said, she didn't know when or if she could ever tell her parents.
The sound of a cell buzzing drew Felicity's attention to her friend. Rising from her stool, she approached Sara. Felicity hesitated only a moment before she reached into Sara's corset and removed the cell phone that was nestled within her cleavage. The caller identification was blocked and Felicity powered off the phone. She didn't want anyone tracing Sara back to the foundry. She placed the phone on her computer table, hopeful that she'd be able to recover something that would help them in their investigation.
Turning her attention back to Sara, Felicity decided it was bad enough they were going to bury her under the cover of darkness, they weren't going to do it with her bloody and dressed as an assassin. Standing over her friend, Felicity decided she would tend to her wounds first. She gently removed Sara's corset, as if she feared waking her from a nap. Felicity cleaned the three puncture wounds on her chest and abdomen before she sutured them closed. She sewed tiny neat stitches into her friend's flesh even though she knew they would never heal nor would Sara need to worry about new scars. The woman who had once felt nauseous at the sight of blood or faint in the presence of needles didn't show any squeamishness as she examined the back of Sara's head. She did her best to sew the wound closed and covered the rest with a square of gauze. Retrieving a wash cloth and basin of warm water from the bathroom, Felicity began to clean Sara's body and wash the blood from her hair. When she finished, Felicity dumped the contents of her emergency go bag onto Oliver's bed. She selected a long floral sundress and a white cardigan to bury Sara in. She dressed Sara as she apologized for the selection saying that she knew that it wasn't exactly her style but it was the best she could offer under the circumstances. She then blew Sara's hair dry and did her best to style it in the soft waves her friend favored. Felicity picked up the gray blanket that she so often draped around her guys whenever they'd been injured or herself when she was cold. As she held it to her chest she realized that it smelled like her - and Oliver. For a moment, Felicity allowed herself be comforted by the scent. She wrapped Sara's body in the blanket, but couldn't bring herself to cover the other blonde's face. Exhausted from the exertion, Felicity dropped back into her computer chair and began to cry.
Three hours later, Felicity was back in the foundry, alone. Sara had been buried in the dark with only Team Arrow and Laurel in attendance. They had each said their good-byes to their sister and friend and then all went their separate ways. John, Roy and Laurel said they were going home, Oliver wanted to go on patrol and Felicity returned to the foundry so she could try and get something from Sara's cell. Checking her team's trackers, she confirmed that John and Roy were home, but Laurel was walking along the waterfront. Oliver's tracker indicated that he was only minutes away from returning to the lair.
Felicity checked the progress on her attempt to decrypt Sara's phone. She knew as soon as Oliver returned there would be another confrontation. They hadn't spoken about the status of their relationship or friendship since he kissed her. Before she had received the call informing her that Sara was gone, she had made up her mind about what she was going to do. Sara's death had temporarily changed her plans. Finding Sara's killer was more important than her own feelings or needs.
The sound of Oliver descending the stairs had her standing up. She was nervous about being alone with him and hated herself for feeling that way. "What are you still doing here?" He asked. Felicity did her best to ignore the anger in his tone.
"I'm working to decrypt Sara's cell." Seeing the question on his face. "She had it on her." She watched him put his bow away and remove his quiver. "Are you okay? I mean, none of us are okay, but you're not planning on doing anything stupid, right?" At the best of times Oliver took crazy risks, in the emotional state he currently was in, she feared that crazy risks would become stupid chances.
"Until we know more, there isn't anything for me to do, stupid or not." He moved into her personal space. "Are you okay? We haven't really talked since the hospital." The tenderness and concern in his voice convinced her that her decision was the right one. His love for her was now a knife through her heart.
"I don't think now is the time to discuss this." Oliver hung his head at her words. "What do you want me to say? You've made up your mind. Is there anything I can say to change it?"
"Tell me you forgive me and that we're okay." The look in his eyes made her heart ache. He was clearly in pain, but she could only worry about her own. If she continued to live on the promise of his maybes it would destroy her.
"I forgive you, Oliver. I know you think you're making the right decision, but you're a fool. It took you nearly two years to ask me out, but after one bad date," okay she knew that the RPG attack was more than just a bad date, but it still wasn't his fault, "you're willing to just walk away. You're not even looking to try and give us a shot. We've always found another way and we could've found a way to make this work, together. You're the bravest man I know, but you're a coward. You're letting your fears control you and make decisions for you." Tears were falling from both their eyes. "I love you, but I can't live down here in the dark with you. I can't be around you knowing how we feel about one another, wondering if you'll ever realize that you made a mistake. I need to try to make some type of life for myself. Once we find Sara's killer, I'm done. I'm walking away from everything." When Felicity first agreed to help Oliver she had said it was only until they found Walter. After they found Walter, she had stayed, but this time she was going to leave, she had to. She returned to her desk and focused on Sara's phone. The sooner they found Sara's killer the sooner they would all be able to begin to heal. She could feel Oliver staring at her. She heard him take a shuttering breath and the sound of him walking away.