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Nice to meet you. My name is Chihiro Fujisaki. Hm... I never know quite how to introduce myself once I tell people my name. What if I just share some standard facts? I am one hundred and forty-eight centimetres tall and I weigh forty-one kilograms... I think. I mean I should. Do you want me to convert those into something else? Ah, I suppose none of that is very interesting... Oh! It is? So I’m not boring you? Heheh... that’s good to hear. Well, then, I’m a Pisces and my birthday is on the fourteenth of March. March Fourteen, three-one-four... those are the first three digits of pi.
Eh? I have, yes. That’s alright, isn’t it? You all have so much information to share... and, honestly, there are some things I don’t understand... Even after asking everyone, I’m not totally sure I understand this certain thing. Would you mind clarifying it for me?
Well, first I asked Yamada-kun. He told me this certain thing occurs when someone takes a marked interest in you and makes you feel special. Often, he comes to see me and talks a lot about his hobbies, and I’ve learned so much from him! His face gets very close to mine and he always seems happy to impart his knowledge. Yamada-kun is very interesting. But... is that it? This certain thing? I’m not sure. Following his logic and his wording, this cannot be the case for me.
Celes-san, she didn’t describe it like that. I asked her and she raised her eyebrows. She told me that you know if this certain thing is present because you are willing to sacrifice all you have and all you are for it, no matter what. This certain thing fills you with the determination and desire you need to acquire whatever it may be, no matter how improbable success is. That makes more sense to me, but I still wanted to ask the others and you.
Naegi-kun scratched at his chin after I asked him for his definition. He told me this certain thing makes you happy. It makes you feel warm inside and he said that whoever gives it to you accepts you for who or what you are. Sometimes it makes you want to become a better person, but it never shames you for being who you are now. There are different types of this certain thing, and not one recipient will receive every type. It has a variety of forms... If such a thing really exists, then... maybe...?
Ah! Sorry, I was rambling. I asked Asahina-san and Oogami-san when they were together. Both looked surprised but gave an answer - Asahina-san said that with this certain thing, you’re never uncomfortable. You feel like you belong because everything feels nice and right and because you don’t need to pretend to be something you’re not. Oogami-san looked at Asahina-san while she said this and nodded with a small smile. They were holding hands, with their fingers meshed together. To feel like you belong... and to be comfortable with yourself... that must be nice.
I even asked Togami-kun and Fukawa-san. Togami-kun widened his eyes for a moment and said it can be a noun, that it is a strong feeling of affection caused by the release of chemicals. His nose wrinkled as he said this so I don’t think he cares much for it... Fukawa-san’s head bobbed in agreement and she said this certain thing gives you pleasure and makes you feel safe and wanted and important. She said that the certain thing is a feeling of raw emotion, and in its truest, purest form, it never dies... She talked at length. Togami-kun scoffed and Fukawa-san muttered something that incensed him. I can’t read lips but I think she mentioned... red? Bed? Wed? He left shortly after with his hand close to his face.
Hagakure-kun didn’t give an answer initially. Of all the people I asked up to that point, he was the first to ask why I wished to know. I think the others forwent inquiring because they had an idea of why I requested they tell me, even if they assumed different reasons. I rationalised with him until he understood that I was curious and meant no harm, and he explained that this certain something stays close to you. Even if it is far away, it still feels close to you. Even if you have to change your name and dye your hair and live by yourself for a few years, feeding on fast food that is a part of a government conspiracy, it still feels close to you. Because there were all the good times you shared with the creator of this certain something and it is loyal, so when you return after you are confined in a school, it’s like you crashed a mafia boss’s daughter’s party and came back home the next morning.
... Hm. I tried asking him. It was difficult to understand Ishimaru-kun but I think I deciphered what he meant to say. This certain thing touches you, he told me, and leaves an imprint on your soul that remains even after its creator leaves. It sparks a feeling in you that gives you power and you never feel empty or alone when you feel it. Not truly. It is a part of you that influences who you are.
Kirigiri-san... Are they right? What... do you think of this certain thing?
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Ah. I see. It isn’t the same for everyone. So to you, it is a combination of all of these... Heheh... I think that is what Master would say too. He spoke highly of everyone, especially you, and he talked frequently about his friends. He admired your strength which you embody even without a muscular build and thought you cool, with how you stay true to yourself and keep calm. He liked how decisive and smart you are, and how you always believe in yourself. You inspired him and helped give him direction on what he needed to do. Going by what everyone has told me, and what you have told me, that would mean he loved you, wouldn’t it? So... So if I could love, I would love you...
... Kirigiri-san?
I see. You must have plenty of things to do. I’ll see you again, then. Bye for now.