Chapter Text
“And all I’m saying is that it would be nice to have the extra space.” Jay exasperates. Honestly, it’s been nearly two months of looking for the ‘right’ place and he’s getting a little tired of Hailey shooting down every place they look at.
It takes everything inside of Hailey to not outwardly roll her eyes. “A four bedroom for the two of us is insane Jay. We don’t need it.” She isn’t purposefully trying to be difficult, she just honestly doesn’t understand why he keeps agreeing with the real estate agent on these three and four bedroom listings. She would be fine just staying at Jay’s. He’s got the small extra bedroom and she likes the neighborhood, but he insists that they need something bigger...something they can grow into.
They are sitting, looking at the computer on the couch at Jay’s or their flat...she’s been living with him for that last 7 months. About a month after the trip to the pumpkin patch, Jay had made the decision to get Hailey to move in with him. Over the weeks between Halloween and Thanksgiving, he had slowly started to clear space for her things when she wasn’t around. He never said anything about it, just slowly began to put a couple of her things in the dresser drawers and started hanging up some of her clothes too. By the time Hailey realized what was happening, she was basically living there full time anyway so she didn’t fight it. She didn’t want to fight it anyway...so she rented out her place and when her lease was up, she didn’t renew. He had given her a new ‘official’ key to what was now their flat and it was probably one of the easiest decisions she’d ever made.
“Where’d you go?”
He’s looking at her, and she realizes she must have spaced out for a bit. She doesn’t want to look at any more houses or condos tonight. She threads her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and sets the computer aside. She moves to straddle his legs and then she’s losing herself as her lips move against his. Her hands move to his waist, her fingers brushing against the skin above the tops of his jeans.
He knows what she’s doing. It’s not the first time she had initiated sex to distract him, but instead of letting her continue, he grips her wrists, halting her movements.
“Hailey stop.” He says it gently waiting for her to look at him. When she lets out a breath and starts to stand from him he lets her.
“If all your after is sex, I’m fine with that. But if you’re using it to get out of discussing moving into a new place...I’m not okay with that” He stands and walks over to her, but doesn’t touch her. “We talked about getting a new place. You seemed like you were on board with it...what’s changed now?”
“Nothing has changed, I just don’t see the need for us to live in a place that’s going to have wasted space.” She keeps her voice level, not wanting to turn this into a full argument. She’s got her suspicions about why he wants the extra space and she is not ready for that conversation yet.
Jay studies her. He knows she’s hiding something but he’s not sure what it could be. He can’t help but feel like she’s sliding away from him. He doesn’t want to push her, and he is still so afraid of losing her that he ends up giving in to what she wants.
“Look, do I think we could use the extra space a three or four bedroom would provide? Yeah, I do...” He hesitates when he sees her shut her eyes and press her lips into a thin line. He can tell this is more than her just not wanting to move. There’s a real reason she doesn’t want a bigger place and he hopes that by putting this discussion on the back burner for now, that she will talk to him about what’s going on inside her mind. He reaches for her hand and is relieved that even though she doesn’t grip his back, she isn’t pulling away either.
“If you aren’t ready to move then I won’t push the matter. We can stay here...save up some more money and when the time is right, we can reopen this. Okay?” He tugs her hand a little, turning her in the process and he can see the relief wash over her. “You know you can tell me anything, that hasn’t changed.” After everything it took to get here, he still has this overwhelming need to make sure they are okay.
Hailey nods her head, her throat a little too tight to allow her to speak without her emotions betraying her. She’s being selfish, she knows this. He took her past, her most feared secrets and insecurities, in stride. He never made her feel less than, and she loves him more than she thought possible for that reason alone. She will tell him eventually, before things get more serious, but if she tells him now, it will change their whole dynamic...and so she keeps her reasons to herself. She moves into his space now, winding her arms around his neck, tipping her head up to meet his gaze.
“Thank you for hearing me.” She presses a kiss to his jaw before resting her head on his shoulder and she lets Jay hold her. She hopes they can work through this, but she has to tell him first...just not yet.
The next morning, Hailey skipped her morning run with Jay. She’d feigned a headache and stayed in bed until she heard Jay returning. She got up quickly and made her way into the shower. She was just buttoning up her shirt when Jay came into the bedroom, a cup of coffee in his hand.
“Shower help any?” He handed her the coffee and went into the closet to to grab clothes for the day.
“Maybe a little...I’ll be fine as long as it doesn’t get worse.” She felt guilty for lying, but she wasn’t sure she could handle being alone in her head running with Jay. She left him be, and went into the kitchen to get some breakfast ready for the both of them. She was just drying the last pan when Jay came out clipping his badge on.
They ate in the truck on the drive in, neither speaking. Jay’s thoughts were working overtime worrying about what was bothering Hailey. He found himself in a situation from so many months ago as he reached out and stopped her from opening the passenger door as he parked the truck.
“Are we okay?” He hated to ask, but he also just needed the reassurance. Hailey offered him a half smile and said they were fine, before hopping out of the truck. He couldn’t help but feel his heart sink a bit. Had she just lied to him?
He watched as she rounded the front of the truck and made her way inside, not looking back once. His hands scrub down his face and he breathes deeply. He grabs his phone and heads into the building after her, ready to get to work.
They catch a case within the hour and it’s a tough one for everyone. A missing kid. Jack Hadson, 9 years old. Last seen walking to the bus stop. The entire team is busy searching for anything that will help them locate the boy. They scour the neighborhood and question everyone that answers their door if they may have seen something. They get a small break when they find a residents private security camera pointing towards the street where the boy was last seen. When they got it back to the station they queued it up to a couple minutes before Jack had left the house. The camera shows some other kids walking towards the bus stop and then an old moving truck crosses in front of the camera. Just as it passes, Jack could be seen crossing the street and moving to the next sidewalk. He goes out of frame, but less than ten seconds later, the same truck is moving back the opposite direction and it’s moving fast.
They rewatch the video over and over hoping to catch a glimpse of the driver or the plates of the truck, with no luck. Almost an hour after they came back with the security footage, Kim came barging into the room letting everyone know that they got the plates of the truck from another camera at a storefront two blocks away. They put out a city wide alert, and everyone on the team hit the streets once again waiting for someone to come over the radio telling them they had located the truck.
The call came fifteen minutes later, and Kim and Vanessa were the closest responding team members. They pulled up and waited for the rest of the team to arrive, while taking in their surroundings. The truck was parked in front of an old strip mall. A large building that looked like it had been an antique mall at some point. The front was all boarded up but Vanessa had just located a side door when the rest of the unit pulled up.
Adam, Kevin, and Voight quietly breached the side entrance while the rest of the team went around the back looking for another entry. Hailey found a floor level window that was only partially boarded up and made quick work of pulling another board off to have enough room to get through. Once everyone was inside they separated again, Hailey and Jay moving towards one side, and Vanessa and Kim the other. They were in the building less than 45 seconds when they heard shots ring out followed by running footsteps toward their location at the back of the building. Jay saw them first, shouting for them to stop and put their hands up. When the offenders didn’t comply, he fired two shots hitting both of his targets.
He felt Hailey’s hand on his back, ready to move when he did. They moved in complete synchronization and quickly cleared the two rooms they passed. They gave their location over the comms and waited for everyone to give the okay before moving again.
“Oh my god.” Kim’s voice came through, and when she shouted that they needed an ambulance, everyone was moving to them.
Vanessa was on the ground, slumped against the wall holding pressure to her side. Kevin started to make his way to her but she shook her head and nodded towards the far side of the room.
“I’m fine...just a graze. Help them.” The team turned and saw what she was gesturing to. There, on the side wall were six metal cages, and inside those cages were kids. Hailey couldn’t see from this distance how many exactly, but as she moved closer she counted eight.
“Jesus...there’s a baby.” This time it was Jay’s voice. He was crouched down in front of a small green basket filled with old blankets. As Voight and Adam worked on unlocking the rest of the cages, Jay carefully lifted the infant from the basket and let out a relieved breath saying the baby had a pulse and was breathing.
“Jack? Is that you buddy?” Adam was kneeling in front of a little boy wearing the same bright blue tank top Mrs. Hadson said Jack was wearing that morning.
“I’m Jack.” The little boy managed to get out, whispering that he wanted to go home, and while Jay held the baby, the rest of the team gathered up the remaining kids and walked them outside where officers and ambulances were waiting.
Hailey stayed back, just watching Jay. They had gotten lucky today...the chances of them finding Jack were pretty slim and then they ended not only finding him, but nine kids in total including the baby Jay was currently clutching to his chest. She couldn’t make out what he was saying, but she caught his lips moving and watched as he snuggled the baby closer and tucked its head under his chin. When he opened his eyes, they landed on her, and he smiled over at her gesturing for her to come over. Hailey shook her head and pointed toward Vanessa and he seemed to understand that she was waiting for her.
She turned and walked to the ambulance Vanessa was currently inside, being tended to. She was lucky. The bullet really had only grazed her hip and aside from the six stitches she just got, she was going to be fine.
“All good?” Hailey gave a little laugh when Vanessa gave her a goofy grin and two thumbs up.
“Awww...look at your man over there, rocking that baby. He’s got every woman here drooling.”
Hailey scoffed but then paled slightly when she saw exactly what Vanessa was talking about. Most of the women that weren’t currently busy, were eyeing Jay. They had the same dreamy expression on their faces.
“Jay’s working that baby and it seems to be affecting every female here except you.” Vanessa eyed her, trying to read the expression on Hailey’s face. “What’s going on? No baby fever for you yet?” It was an innocent question, but Hailey couldn’t help the way her heart sank, or the tears that burned in her eyes.
She took a deep breath before turning back to Vanessa, determined not to let the tears fall.
“I think I’m gonna lose him.” Hailey managed to get it out without her voice breaking.
She said it so sadly, so beaten down and unlike the person Vanessa had come to know over the last few months. She hopped down from the ambulance as quickly and carefully as she could and gently touched Hailey’s shoulder. “What’s happened? What do you mean?” She was genuinely concerned and waited for her to answer.
“I’ll never be able to be enough for him. I...I can’t give him what he wants.” She didn’t elaborate, and stepped back from her. What was she thinking? She doesn’t share her personal life like this.
She made an excuse about getting back, knowing Vanessa still had to be given the official all clear before she could leave. Most of the team was still here so she’d have a ride when she was cleared.
Hailey made her way over to one of the patrol cars looking for a ride back to the district. She didn’t want to wait around anymore, and after the kid she had been in charge of had been picked up by social services, she was basically just sitting around anyway. One of the officers offered her a lift back and she gladly accepted. She shot a quick text to Kim letting her know she was going back to get a jump start on the paper work and then tucked her phone away. She knew Jay was preoccupied with the baby and probably wouldn’t check his phone anyway, so she didn’t text him.
She was nearly done with her paper work when she heard the gate buzz downstairs. The closing was followed by quick light footsteps and Hailey turned to see who was rounding the corner. She didn’t recognize the sound of the steps, but then she caught sight of Clara’s bright red hair and she stood up smiling. Her smile vanished when the girl threw herself into Hailey and began to sob.
“Clara sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Hailey’s hands moved to gently rub the girls back. When Clara finally began to speak it was so full of gasping breaths and harsh sobs that Hailey couldn’t understand her at all. All Hailey could do at this point was try to calm her down. She wouldn’t get anything useful out of her like this.
It took nearly fifteen minutes for Clara to calm enough for her to try and tell Hailey again.
“They’re gonna send me away.” Tears are still gathering and falling from her eyes, and her breaths stutter through her sentence.
“Clara, start from the beginning...tell me what’s going on so I can help. Okay?” The only other time she’s seen Clara this upset is the first day she met her. There are a hundred scenarios running through her mind and she just wants to know what’s going on.
“Brian’s work gave him a promotion and he has to move to Florida for his new job. They can’t take us with them and my case worker said I probably will be placed outside of Chicago.” She breaks into sobs again as she finishes. Brian and Jessa Tate are the foster parents Clara was placed with, as well as another little girl a couple years younger that Clara. They were great people, the kind of people, that if you get thrown into the foster system, these are the ones you want. They are kind and loving and so giving. They gave Clara stability when she needed it the most.
Hailey doesn’t even know what to say right now. She loves Clara...hell they all do. She just has a deeper bond considering their upbringing. She knows if Clara leaves Chicago, the chances of them being able to see each other drops significantly. She doesn’t want that to happen, but she doesn’t know a way around it.
“Clara...”
“If you’re about to tell me everything is going to be okay I swear I’ll scream.” Clara has never spoken to Hailey that way, but she’s scared and so angry the only thing that feels right is lashing out. “You have to fix this, you have to! You can’t let them take me away!” She starts to cry again, hating how unfair life is.
“What in the world is going on up here?” In all the commotion, neither had heard the gate buzz open or closed, and because of Clara’s hysterics, Trudy had practically been a foot away before either girl noticed her.
Hailey quickly put a hand up to Clara to stop her from speaking, relaying the information she had given her to Trudy. Listening to her sob her way through it was hard enough the first time. She didn’t need to do it again.
“You have friends everywhere, that’s what you always say. Please, I don’t want to leave.” Trudy gives her a sad smile and takes her hand in hers.
“Let’s all calm down okay? I’ll uh...see what I can do, okay?” She holds Clara’s gaze and tells her that while she will do her best, she can’t make any promises and that she shouldn’t get her hopes up just yet. She sends Clara downstairs again to wait for her handing her a $5 bill.
“Get something good from the vending machine in the break room down there and I’ll be down in a couple minutes.”
When Clara turns away and heads to the stairs, she doesn’t even look at Hailey again...like she might blame her for this happening. Hailey just brings her hands up and rubs at her temples. That headache she had faked this morning was paying her back big time right now.
“So listen...” Trudy startles Hailey and then tells her to focus. “What if...What if me and Randy took Clara?” She ignores Hailey’s shocked expression and continues. “I’m already approved to foster kids, and Randy would do it in a heartbeat if I told him why. We could keep her here, with us.”
Hailey is looking at her like she has never seen her before. She knows Trudy has a soft spot for Clara, but now she can see she truly loves her too. She would do anything to protect her and make her happy.
“I guess I’d say to talk it over with your husband before you even think any further on the matter.” Hailey stands and turns off her computer, closing the open file on her desk. They both move to the stairs and start to walk down. “Hypothetically, it sounds like a great idea, I just don’t want anyone to be disappointed if it doesn’t work out...”
Trudy renders Hailey speechless when she begins to talk again.
“It didn’t work out once before...a long time ago. I uh, met this little girl, ten years old, brightest blue eyes I’d ever seen. She was just this scared little kid, something about her made me want to hold on to her and never let her go.” She stops as she walks through the gate, holding the door open for Hailey. “I got registered as fast as you could, and I was all set to bring this little one home with me when I got shot...it wasn’t serious, but it ended my career out there on the streets and I was in no shape to take a kid on after that. I tried to find her when I managed to get myself together again, I just wanted to make a difference in her life, but I didn’t have the connections back then that I have now. The next time I saw her was twenty one years later...she walked right up to me at that desk and didn’t even know me.” She told Hailey this with a sad lilt to her voice. When Hailey only stood there staring at her, she told her to go home and get some sleep. Then she was walking behind the desk to find Clara.
Hailey was so shocked at her revelation that she honestly couldn’t move. ‘Trudy had wanted her? She had wanted to take Hailey into her life?’ It takes a few seconds, then she is practically running after Trudy behind the desk. She vaguely hears Kevin ask her where the fire is, and she’s pretty sure she sees Jay behind him looking at her worriedly, but she doesn’t stop. She just needs to get to Trudy. She sees her pulling mail and sorting it, and watches as she wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand.
“Sarge...Trudy” She starts and then waits for her to turn around. When she does turn, Hailey can see her eyes are all watery and she can’t miss the few tears that escaped. She takes another step into the room, letting out a breath. “You did make a difference. I never forgot you. You were the first person who didn’t treat me like I was a monster or a mistake, or so messed up kid...you did save me...even though you were only in my life for a couple of weeks, the things you said and did for me...I didn’t forget, I’ll never forget.” Hailey moves closer, and though she has seen her hug Clara, they certainly haven’t hugged...well not in twenty one years anyway. She’s not sure how she will react, but she draws the older woman into a hug anyway and when she hears Trudy let out a surprised gasp, she holds her tighter.
“Thank you for wanting me. For helping me. I’m sorry you got hurt and things didn’t turn out the way you wanted. It would have been really nice to be with someone who genuinely wanted me.” Hailey moves to step back but stops when Trudy grabs her arms.
“I just wish I could have done more for you...tried harder. I am so proud of who are right now.”
“You did enough, you did more in those weeks for me than anyone in my life had up to that point and for a long time after. I should have thanked you sooner.”
They both just kind of stared at each other. Another chain had just been added to their bond and it was nice to just revel in that for a bit. The moment was gone a couple of minutes later when Jay poked his head into the room making sure everything was okay. Both women just smiled and said everything was fine, leaving Jay with a curios look on his face. He could obviously see that both women had been crying, but he chose to trust them that everything was okay.
Jay did ask on the drive home what that was all about and he listened as Hailey explained everything that had happened starting with Clara.
“Wow, that’s pretty incredible. And really sweet of Platt to do that.” He cracks a joke about it being so unlike her, but she knows he doesn’t really mean it. They both have gotten to know a different side of her since Clara brought them all together.
“I just want her to be happy. She deserves happiness, and it kills me to think she might leave us.” She’s looking out the window now, but turns to look at Jay when he reaches for her hand and gives it a little squeeze, smiling at her.
“See, that right there...that’s how I know our future kids will have the best life.”
And just like that, the small bubble of happiness that had surrounded her shattered. The conversation she had been dreading would be happening sooner...