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"Can you teach me how to kiss?"
Hinata was stunned. No, stunned seemed too calm for how fast his brain was spinning, how fast his stomach was doing flips. Maybe flabbergasted was better? Either way, fuck.
Having a crush on someone who you know doesn't like you back is painful enough to shatter a man's heart. Then, having that said crush, still not having feelings for you, ask you to show them how to kiss is truly world-shattering, heart long forgotten as everything crumbles around you. That's how Hinata felt as Kageyama looked down at his shoes, light pink dusting at his carved cheeks.
What was he getting at here? Did he want to embarrass Hinata? Did he know Hinata was bisexual? No, not possible. Hinata knew he hid it well. Was he playing a prank, then, with the other members hiding behind the bushes that surrounded the school, peeking and watching Kageyama corner him into the hidden alcove behind the gym? Either way, this situation was bound to be mortifying.
"What?" Hinata choked out, hands clutched tightly around each other. He was starting to hurt himself with how hard he was squeezing. Kageyama coughed as if to clear the air and attempted to straighten out. Puffing his chest toward Hinata, he flashed a look of wild determination that Hinata was all too familiar with. It reminded him of whenever Kageyama would accidentally toss too short and it wouldn't quite reach. The taller of the two would bark that they were going to try again and that face would appear when Hinata said 'yes'.
"I said, idiot, can you teach me how to kiss?"
"I heard that, just..." Hinata searched for the right words as he waved his hands around fruitlessly. Like Kageyama was supposed to know exactly what he meant without even saying anything. "why me?"
Kageyama pondered for a second. He rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous habit he adopted whenever he was thinking hard and stared at the wall above Hinata's head. As he traced the lines of the brick, millions of answers came to mind. Finally, he decided on a proper one that would help explain the situation to Hinata better. Hopefully.
"You've had girlfriends before. You know how to kiss." Was the simplification Kageyama had settled on.
What a loser, Hinata thought, and laughed.
Sure, Hinata's had girlfriends before; Kageyama wasn't wrong about that. Being on the volleyball team surely helped more than he'd liked to admit. As Hinata figured out later in his first year, girls loved a man who played a sport. So of course, using it to his advantage was the obvious choice.
But now that he was thinking about it, why was Kageyama asking him how to kiss in the first place?
It was a running joke between the boys that Kageyama was gay. It didn't seem that far fetched either considering Kageyama has never, publically at least, had a girlfriend. He's never been caught making out with someone in the locker room or fondling her in the storage closet when all the other members have cleared out. These are two prime examples because most of them have been seen doing those same things, Hinata included.
Girls threw themselves at him all the time, too. The entire team had witnessed it on more than one occasion; at home games, at away games, on the way to the store, etc. Kageyama would generally ignore flirtatious gestures but if the girl got too annoying, he'd end up just walking away from her, leaving a speechless bubbleheaded blonde to stomp her feet angrily.
"Okay, but why not ask Yachi? Or that girl who gave you her number last week? Wasn't it Kaori? I bet she'd be happy to help you." Hinata questioned, quirking his eyebrow. These were all good points that Kageyama didn't even think to consider when he first had the idea. They were already here though, out of sight and away from everyone else, so why not do it?
"I'm comfortable with you," Kageyama said with a shrug.
If your crush was practically throwing themselves at you, would you take it? Even if you knew, deep down, that this kissing practice wasn't for you? Hinata shuddered with jealousy thinking about the fact that Kageyama was only using him as a test dummy. He had a person in mind he wanted to kiss more passionately than a practice test, and Hinata wasn't her.
Somehow, accepting this wasn't as harming as Hinata thought it would be. Sure, he's liked Kageyama since the first time they met, and maybe that 'like' had now grown to something along the lines of 'love', but not quite, seeing that they've spent practically every day together for the past two years. But that didn't matter now. If he could kiss Kageyama 'goodbye' to make him happy with someone else, he'd gladly do it. What a good friend he was.
"Then let's do it." Hinata nodded and put his hands on his hips. Kageyama flicked him on the head for acting so stupidly and smiled.
"Yeah, yeah. So. How do we do this?" Kageyama was suddenly serious with his face now turned to stone and body rigid. He looked incredibly nervous, no matter how many barriers he tried to put up. Hinata had learned how to detect it and, usually, help with whatever problem Kaeyama was battling inside. This instance was not that different. He'd help Kageyama and he'd leave, simple as that.
Kageyama attempted to reach out, grab Hinata's hips like he had seen in the movies before the red-head stopped him.
"First, you have to relax. No girl's ever going to want to kiss you if you're stiff as a board," To prove his point, Hinata grabbed one of Kageyama's arms and lifted it into the air. Instead of his wrist and arm flopping slightly, they stayed straight out. "See?"
Kageyama nodded and took a deep breath. A couple, actually, and as soon as Hinata was about to chastise him for hyperventilating, his body slumped and loosened significantly. Hinata felt a swell of pride and opened into a huge smile.
"There you go! Good boy," Hinata ignored the way Kageyama tensed at those words and continued. "Now, I want you to grab my hips again but be more fluid. Like jelly. Attempt to seduce me. Use those big hands for good."
Kageyama's spread fingers barely even touched his shirt when he attempted to grab him again, only the memory of his fingertips wisped against the fabric.
"Too loose. Make your hands known but don’t push down too hard, got it?"
He adjusted himself so that his hands were steady and taking up the entirety of Hinata's hips. Like Hinata had said earlier, Kageyama had huge hands so this seemed to be an easy feat. Hinata was small enough for it to be possible and thought made him shiver. Fuck, indeed.
"I'm gonna put my hands round your neck, okay Kageyama?" Hinata whispered, too close to the other boy's face. He felt Kageyama's heavy breaths tickle his nose as he leaned farther in. It was intoxicating and Hinata felt his head swim. "Are you okay?"
"Yes," Kageyama groaned out. It was shaky and unsure and innocent. Hinata was going to steal his first kiss soon. How would this change their relationship? Would it, at all, or would they both mutually agree to forget it ever happened? Forget the way their lips touched so intimately and alone? Hinata was getting ahead of himself. They haven't even started yet. But the thought of them starting had Hinata hot under the collar, simulated sweat prickling at the base of his neck. "Are you?"
Hinata nodded, as sure as he had ever been about... well... anything. Even if it was a one-time thing, he was going to kiss oh so perfect Kageyama. A boy's dream come true.
"I'm going to kiss you now," Hinata warned and pushed forward. Their lips were slightly ghosting over each other and Hinata wanted to close the gap. But he wouldn't, not without expressed consent from Kageyama. All he needed was an 'okay'. "Don't forget to close your eyes."
"Okay." The magic word. Hinata was somewhat startled Kageyama didn't say anything about the teasing, but finally looking into his eyes showed something that the red-head didn't want to see. Didn't want to see because, ultimately, regardless of what would happen between them friendship wise, Hinata would never get over it. Kageyama looked desperate. Intense want was sparkled in his vision and Hinata couldn't believe it. Kageyama wanted him.
No. He's probably picturing that girl, whoever she is. Hinata thought and finally let his lips touch Kageyama's.
Soft was the first thing that came to Hinata's mind. Softer than he could have ever imagined. Kageyama was hesitant, as all first-timers were, yet he pulled Hinata close to him with unbeatable confidence as soon as he got comfortable. It was slow and sweet with Kageyama fumbling occasionally only to have Hinata steer him back on track. All too soon, Kageyama pulled back with a pant.
"You taste good," Kageyama mumbled into Hinata's ear after his breathing had slowed. Maybe, just maybe, the raven-haired boy was better at this than originally thought. After all, he was making Hinata blush like a virgin on prom night.
"Don't say things like that!" Hinata squealed and backed up into the wall behind him. The brick felt rough against his back as Kageyama walked forward and cornered him. Kageyama steadied himself by putting a hand next to Hinata's head, the other going back to resting idly on the ginger's hip, though under his shirt this time instead of over it. He gently squeezed the flesh there and reveled in Hinata's choking breaths.
"You're embarrassed? Really. You sure you've kissed someone before?" Kageyama joked but Hinata was too focused on the way Kageyama's voice had dropped an octave. The sound was smooth and inviting, yet so sexy and alluring. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This was a bad idea. "You wanna do it again, Hinata?" Fuck this man.
Caught up in a whirlwind of emotions, Hinata grabbed hold of Kageayama hoodie and pulled their lips together. The kiss this time was more feverish and rushed. Even only having his first kiss less than a couple of minutes ago, Kageyama had gotten the hang of it like everything else and was pulling Hinata apart bit by bit.
Hinata tangled his hands into Kageyama's hair and tugged slightly whenever Kageyama would do something truly impressive, causing Hinata's resolve to slip. They pushed against each other, nearly grinding in desperation, only wanting more and more. Being teenagers, this wasn't unusual, but for two boys who didn't 'like' one another, it was. Still, even understanding the intensity of the situation, Hinata swiped his tongue against Kageyama's bottom lip, begging for entrance.
"That's french kissing," Kageyama murmured against Hinata, not wanting to break apart just yet. "I know what that is." Hinata chuckled. Kageyama was so... virginal.
"Do you want a gold star? Let me show you how to do it," Hinata begged with a deeper kiss, pushing Kageyama's head forward using his hand.
It was frustrating how fast Kageyama was learning everything. He was sexy, seemingly experienced though Hinata knew he wasn't, and goddamn good. Kageyama may have been the best kisser he's ever been with. But, thinking about it harder, that made Hinata upset. The pain was finally seeping in that Hinata wouldn't be able to kiss him again after this. Wouldn't be able to see Kageyama with that blissful look again.
Better make it memorable, Hinata thought.
Hinata delved his tongue into Kageyama's mouth, swirling around Kageyama's own and tasting the man with every swipe. He tasted like milk, unsurprisingly, but also like blueberries. It was sweet and oh so addicting. Hinata gripped onto his hair tightly before pulling back and disconnecting. Kageyama leaned forward for another kiss, drunk off the sensations, but Hinata held him at bay with a hand to his chest.
Rational thoughts had gotten to him and he wanted to end everything now before he got seriously hurt. Not that he already wasn't. Saying no to Kageyama felt like a spear through his chest, his brain, his fucking dick. Too preoccupied with making Kageyama feel good, Hinata completely didn't even think about the raging hard-on he could now feel. Looking down, he saw both of them were hard and straining against their volleyball shorts.
"Let's stop." Hinata offered and slid down the wall, back scraping against the brick until his butt landed in the grass. Kageyama let his hand fall and sat next to Hinata with a huff.
"That was good. I didn't know kissing could feel that good," Kageyama said with a far off look. It seemed like he was still in the clouds. Hinata felt prideful but that feeling soon turned into sadness, like a balloon letting out air.
"So," Hinata began, picking up a dandelion and pulling it apart. "Who were you learning to kiss for?"
Kageyama seemed to think long and hard about it. He took way too long for Hinata's liking and all the red-head wanted to do was walk away. Did he really, truly, want to hear this or was it better to be left in the dark?
"No one," Kageyama replied and patted Hinata's thigh lightly. "I just wanted to kiss you." Hinata gaped like a fish and turned toward his best friend with a look of disbelief. No way, no way. Never in a million years would Kageyama Tobio say something like that. He was dreaming. That's right. Hinata had lost oxygen from kissing and was passed out on the grass right now with Kageyama above him laughing his ass off.
Dumbass! Kageyama would yell between giggles and have to lean over from how badly this was cracking him up.
"You're a fucking dick." Hinata scoffed and got up immediately, brushing himself off. "You're a shitty person, Kageyama."
With an outstretched hand, Kageyama grabbed Hinata's arm and pulled him down. Cradling his head, his hand protected Hinata so that he didn't hit himself on the wall and instead fell less than gracefully into Kageyama's lap. Turning as red as a beet, Hinata struggled to get up but Kageyama made sure that wouldn't happen.
"I'm not lying. I've liked you for a while. Honestly, I didn't think you'd say yes." Kageyama admitted and smoothed down the other's hair. "I'm sorry. I should have told you."
Hinata's mind was blank. Kageyama confessed his feelings for him. Whether or not it was truly a lie or not was spinning around in his head. Why would Kageyama not tell the truth in the first place? He wasn't the type of person too, quite actually the opposite, speaking his mind regardless of situation and outcome. What the fuck was happening?
"Are you okay? If you don't like me that's fine, just-"
"I've liked you since I met you," Hinata admitted under his breath. Though, with how close they were, Kageyama heard it loud and clear. "I really, really like you." Kageyama took a moment for the confession to sink in before he gripped Hinata's chin with a careful hand, turning his head so that he could look him in the eyes.
"Kiss me then." Kageyama insisted and closed his eyes as Hinata slowly molded his feelings into a delicate peck.
It was so much better than before and Kageyama counted this one, the one with such tenderness and affection, as his true, real, first kiss.